Whenever You Call

By: Mary

"Jordan?" her voice shook and she tried to keep him from noticing but he had.

"Yeah?" He looked at the clock on the nightstand and seen it was almost 3am. Why was she calling him so late?

"I'm sorry I woke you up. I didn't know who else to call and I really just need someone right now." It had taken a lot for her to admit to that and she hoped he knew just how much it had hurt her to admit that she needed someone. That wasn't easy for her.

Jordan was already up and pulling his shirt on before she had gotten her whole thought out to him. She didn't have to give him reasons for needing him with her. He would come without reasons. Whenever she called.

Her voice had been shaken and he heard the pain in it. He hadn't asked any questions about why she had called him at 3am to come. The time hadn't mattered. The pain in her voice was the only thing that had disturbed him. He hated it when she hurt. It was almost as if he could feel her pain.

Jordan looked up at her building and could see her pacing around through the window. He entered her building and took the stairs two at a time. She opened the door a few minutes after he had knocked and he hated the look on her face. What had cause her such pain?

"Mary, what's wrong?" His concern alone made her feel better. Someone cared and that was enough for her. She looked at him knowing she couldn't tell him. He wouldn't understand. Hell, she wasn't sure if SHE understood.

"Jordan, thank you for coming but please don't ask me any questions. I know I probably owe you answers since I woke you up to come here, but I really don't want to talk about this right now." Her eyes pleaded with him to understand and she could see that he wanted to get her to talk but she knew that he wouldn't make her.

Jordan watched not knowing what to do for a few moments before pulling her into a hug. She clung to him hoping to maybe be able to ease the hurt and pain. He had always been her safety net and so why wasn't he helping her now? Things had changed and she knew it. Jordan had been the one safe person in her life and she had let the safe relationship change. She let herself fall for him. That wasn't smart.

<I'll be the one to catch your fall

Whenever you call>

He led her over to the couch and once she was sitting headed for the kitchen to bring them both a drink before he would try to get her to talk to him. Maybe it had to do with that guy she had went out with the other night. Jordan had no clue but if he had hurt her somehow....Jordan stopped those thoughts. He wasn't going to get anywhere by mooning over something that can never happen. You don't fall in love with your friends. It just doesn't happen. Or if it does happen, it doesn't work out ever. He wasn't going to risk losing their friendship because he had done the dumb thing and let his heart get way too involved.

Jordan came back out into the living room and handed her a mug before sitting down next to her. "Where's Jen?"

Mary looked at Jordan before answering. "Where do you think she is Jordan? She's off of work tomorrow and so is Jon and so where do you think they are?"

Jordan grinned, "Okay, I get the idea." They both grew silent for a little while before Jordan tried again to get her to talk to him. "What happened tonight, Mary? What upset you so much or who?"

She looked down at her hands and tried to think of something to tell him that was the truth but wouldn't give too much of herself away to him. "No one upset me. I just got to thinking and felt really alone tonight. I just needed someone here so I could shake the feeling." Her eyes looked up into his and she tried to see if he would accept that answer for what it was.

Jordan studied her for a few moments before he looked away from her and into the fireplace. It was the only light in the room. It cast shadows all around them and left the secrets where they needed to be kept...in the dark. The shadows and light played tricks on both of them and gave them a sense of false security that neither wanted to admit to or give up. Things always seemed better in the dark. Maybe because it was easier to hide the truth when you can't see what's right in front of you.

He had gotten so lost into his own little world (Jordan spacey? Nah.. hehe) that he hadn't noticed that she had finally fallen asleep. Jordan watched her for a little while. She looked so peaceful and content that he left her be for the moment. He'd move her to her room before he left but for now he'd leave her be. She moved slightly and her head rested on his shoulder. Jordan looked down at her and he had to stop himself from running his fingers through her hair and from tracing the outline of her features. He had to stop himself from thinking things that he shouldn't be thinking. She trusted him and here he was thinking about..hell, Jordan didn't want to think about what he had been thinking about. He moved slowly so that he wouldn't wake her up and then leaned down to pick her up. She sighed in her sleep but didn't wake up. Her arms came up around his neck and Jordan carried her down the hall to her room. He layed her down gently and moved her arms from around his neck. She stirred a little but he didn't think that she'd wake up. Turning Jordan headed for the door. He'd leave her a note telling her he went home so she'd know he was okay when she got up in the morning.

"Jordan." Her soft call to him stopped him from leaving the room.

"Yeah, babe, what is it?" He looked back at her and seen her eyes on him. She wasn't just talking in her sleep.

"You aren't leaving me are you?" She sounded so small and Jordan didn't know what to do. "Please, stay with me, Jordan. Please."

Jordan ran a hand through his hair. He wasn't sure if he should stay. "Mary, I don't know if I--"

"Please, Jordan. I just want to know that someone's here."

Jordan let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding in before crossing the room back to her. "Okay, I'll go stay in Jen's room. I'll be right across the hall." He leaned down to kiss her on the cheek. Mary turned and looked at him. His face was a few inches from hers and she had to catch her breath from being so close to him.

"No, stay with me here. I don't want to be alone, J." Why was she being like this tonight? Normally she wouldn't have been saying things like this to him. What was it that had her saying what she was thinking? Her eyes pleaded with him and Jordan knew he wasn't going to turn her down. There was something in her eyes that made him agree to what she was asking. Something in her eyes spoke to him.

<And I'm truly inspired

Finding my soul

There in your eyes>

Jordan settled on the other side of the bed next to her. He tried to keep from touching her. He could do this as long as he didn't touch her. Listening for the sound of her even breathing to tell him she was sleeping, Jordan tried to take his thoughts away from the situation he was in. She was his friend and nothing more. He had to keep telling himself that or else he'd do something dumb. Whatever you do don't touch her, he kept telling himself. Could he listen to himself though and behave? He had to. Just don't touch her.

He must have finally fallen asleep. The next thing he remembered was waking up and not knowing where he was. That hadn't happened to him in a long time. He looked down and seen her curled up next to him and smiled. He had to smile or cry. The situation came rushing back to him and he knew he'd never get to sleep again. Why was he torturing himself like this? Why was he putting himself in a situation he knew he shouldn't be in? He didn't know.

<And I will breathe for you each day

Comfort you through all the pain

Gently kiss your fears away

You can turn to me and cry>

Jordan hadn't noticed that she was awake until he heard her muffled cries. His thoughts had been so consuming that he had no clue how long she had been laying there crying in her sleep. Her back was to him and he leaned over and touched her gently trying to get her to wake up.

"Mary, honey, wake up." His voice was soft and soothing. He didn't want to scare her more than she seemed to already be. She didn't seem to notice him at first and then slowly she managed to calm herself down. Her brown eyes settled on his face and she looked confused for a minute.

"Jordan?" She said it almost as if she couldn't believe he was really there.

"I'm right here." His familiar voice was comforting to her. Maybe she could forget the images that had just played through her head. Mary nodded and leaned back against the pillow behind her. She had to get those images out of her head. Jordan brushed her hair back out of her face and looked at her closely. He wasn't sure if she would want to talk about what was bothering her or not. She looked down at her hands while Jordan's eyes stayed on her face. "Tell me about it?"

She looked at him startled for a minute before turning her eyes away. "I can't tell you, Jordan." The pain in that tore at him. Mary could see that it hurt him that she wouldn't share this with him. Why she wasn't sure of but she could tell that it had. "It was just a nightmare, Jordan. Leave it at that. I'm fine now."

"It has to do with why you didn't want to be alone tonight, doesn't it?" He always was smarter than she had hoped for in situations that she didn't want him knowing about.

"Yes," she answered. Mary started playing with the ring on her finger and Jordan didn't let the nervous gesture slip by him.

He took her hands in his and met her gaze, "Tell me."

She looked at him closely in the dark and tried to decide if she should tell him or not. She wasn't really sure of how he would react and she didn't want him to do something dumb because of her. "Promise me something first."

He wasn't sure what she had in mind. "What's that?"

"No matter what I tell you, you do nothing about it, okay? It's my problem and I don't want you trying to do something when I don't want you to."

"Mary, I don't know if I can promise you that if it's something I CAN do something about." He wanted to help her if he could and so if he could do something, he was going to. She had to know that.

"Promise me, Jordan." She was serious. If he wouldn't promise, she wasn't telling.

He ran a hand over his face in frustration. He was going to promise her this. He didn't like it at all but he knew he'd do what she wanted. "Okay, I promise. Now please tell me what's going on."

She took a deep breath and tried to think about how to start. How did someone tell someone else about something like this? Did they just blurt it out and hope for the best or what? "The dreams started again after last week when I went out with that guy that you met before we left last week, remember?" Jordan nodded and she tried to get her thoughts together. She was silent for so long that he didn't think she was going to tell him anymore.

"What happened on the date? He didn't--"

"No, Jordan, he was a sweet guy. It's not about him. Well not totally."

"How do you mean?" She was confusing him and he couldn't see where she was going with this.

This wasn't going like she had hoped. Why was this so hard to tell him? It couldn't still be as painful as it was back then and so why couldn't she share with him what she was thinking? "He reminded me of someone from a long time ago. The memory wasn't a pleasant one. It brought back a lot of pain and the dreams came back along with it. That's why I didn't want to be alone, Jordan. I thought that maybe they wouldn't bother me if I knew someone was here. I guess I was wrong."

"What happened?"

"It was very abusive. Just leave it at that. I've never told anyone this, Jordan, and so please don't tell anyone what I've said." Her eyes were pleading with him.

"Jen doesn't know?"

"No one knows. It's better that way."

"Better for who? You? Him? Who? It's obviously not better if you are still having nightmares because of it."

"Just better, Jordan. It's kind of like what you don't know, won't hurt you."

"No," Jordan shook his head, "what you don't know, can kill you."

His words hurt her a little but she shook them off. "Thank you for staying with me, J. It meant a lot but you don't have to stay any longer if you don't want to."

"Do you really want me to leave?" He seen the doubt flicker across her face before she shook her head.

"I don't know. Part of me wants you to stay but another part is saying that you really would rather be somewhere else. I don't want to keep you somewhere you would rather not be." She looked down and he cupped her chin and made her look back at him.

"I'm here because I want to be and I'm not leaving. Friends don't just leave when one of them is in need." His brown eyes stayed even with hers and she could see he meant what he said.

"Is that what we are, Jordan? Friends?" The question was so unexpected that he was at a loss for words at first.

"Of course we're friends. Mary, do you think I'd be here if we weren't friends?"

"I don't know. Would you have come otherwise?"

"I don't get what you mean." Was she trying to confuse him on purpose?

"Do you go running to all of your friends homes in the middle of the night when they call?"

"If they need me, I'm there. I really don't see where this is going."

"It's not going anywhere and that's the problem," she mumbled.

"Huh?" Yeah, she was definitely trying to confuse him on purpose.

"Nothing," she shook her head. "Forget I said anything." Mary laid back down and turned her back on him. Jordan sat there a long time trying to figure out what she had meant. She couldn't have meant what he thought she had. He wasn't that lucky. His eyes traveled over her and he seen that she was still awake. He thought about his options and what he could and would do. She trusted him a lot, he knew, or she wouldn't be there with him right now. That said a lot. He put his hand out and rested it on her arm. She turned slowly and looked at him. He could see the questions in her eyes. "Jordan?"

"Answer me one thing," he told her softly.

"What's that?"

"Why do you trust me so much and then what's his name caused you nightmares? Why?"

Mary looked at him a few moments. "I've known you a long time, J. Of course I trust you more than someone I just met." She didn't get what he was trying to say.

Jordan looked down for a few moments trying to figure out where he was trying to lead this conversation. He wasn't sure. He didn't know what he was trying to get out of it or what he was trying to prove. He just knew that something had to come out of the night ahead of them, but what? Damnit, Jordan, you just think too much! That was always his problem, wasn't it? He needed to just let go and be himself and not worry about the consequences. Could he do that? Jordan looked up and seen the confusion on Mary's face. He also seen a hint of something else. But was it what he thought it was? Stop thinking so much, J! He took the risk.

Jordan cupped her chin in his hand and leaned forward just enough to bring his lips to hers. He felt her intake of breath a second before she relaxed into him and kissed him back. He had only meant to kiss her for a second and pull back but she had responded to him and now he couldn't make himself pull away. She leaned back until she was laying down again and Jordan followed until he was halfway covering her. He promised himself that he wasn't going to deepen the kiss a second before his tongue started tracing the line between her lips, wanting access to what lay inside. She granted it. He cupped her face in his hands while his tongue did battle with hers. She ran her hands through his hair and then down his back restlessly. This was moving faster than he had planned and it scared him a little. Jordan pulled back and looked at her. Passion had turned her eyes a deeper brown and she watched him with careful eyes.

"Mary, I don't want you to do anything you don't want to. I mean...I guess what I'm trying to say is..well.. " Jordan couldn't believe how awkward he was being and how awkward he felt. It wasn't use to not being in control when it came to this. She made him nervous and he found that he liked it. That alone was new to him.

Mary ran her hand along his jaw, trying to ease the tension she seen there. He looked so tense. "Jordan, I didn't ask you to stop." She looked down before adding, "I didn't want you to."

"Do you mean that?" he tried to read behind her eyes.

"Yes." He knew she did. He could see it when she looked at him. "Yes, Jordan, I mean that." She proved it by leaning up and placing a kiss on his lips and then moving down to his jaw. He burried his face in her neck and inhaled the scent of her hair. The rose scent perfume still lingered on her skin. He couldn't get enough of that scent as he trailed kisses down her neck and to her ear. He sucked on the lobe before his tongue decided to explore the inside of it. He felt her tremor and move her body closer to him. His hot breath on her ear had her insides on fire. Every spot he touched seemed to become more alive than it had ever been. Jordan ran his hands under her pajama top and then to the buttons that held it fastened. He took his time undoing each one. She found herself wishing he'd just hurry up and undo them but he didn't seem in a rush.

"Just let me do it," Mary brought her hands up to finish undoing the tiny buttons but Jordan stopped her.

"Where's the fun in that?" he asked, his pouty expression too cute to deprive him of what he wanted. His lips came down on the tops of her breasts as the pajama top fell away. His hot breath on her skin started a fire building in her. He dropped kisses through the lace of her bra and continued his playful torture, knowing she was enjoying everything he did.

She reached for the bottom of his shirt and helped him pull it off. Her breath caught as the moonlight streaming into the room lit his body. "You're beautiful," she whispered and then blushed when she realized that had been outloud.

Jordan grinned, "No, I'm not but you are." He slithered down her body and his tongue made a path to her navel before plunging inside and making her back arch. He grinned against her skin before nipping at the tender flesh of her stomach. His hands closed around her waist as he moved lower and his tongue traced the line of her pajama bottoms before he pulled them down along with her underwear. He slide his hands up her thighs parting them. His fingers dipped inside her and she let out a small gasp. Jordan gave her a questioning look before lowering his face to her. His hot breath and fingers were doing a number on her senses. She thought that was all that she could take and then she felt his tongue.

"Oh my God, Jordan!" Mary cried, grabbing his shoulders.

His tongue moved faster as his fingers slid in and out of her. He sucked gently as he kissed her as deeply as he had kissed her mouth not too long ago. Heat rushed through her and an intense pleasure was soon to follow as her orgasm rocked her body. Jordan looked up at her and seen the passionate daze in her eyes as he moved up her body.

"We can still stop," he told her, placing a sweet kiss on her lips. He knew he'd have to take one hell of a cold shower if they stopped now but he would stop if she said so.

"Who said anything about stopping?" Mary ran her hands over his shoulders and down his chest, loving the feel of his muscles jumping under her touch.

"Mar? You're sure?"

Mary brushed her hand over his erection and smiled at him when she felt how much he wanted her. She massaged him through his jeans and felt his intake of breath. "I'm sure." She worked at getting his pants off before meeting his eyes.

"You don't have to do this," he told her.

"I know I don't. I want to." She pulled his black silk boxers down and kept her eyes on his. He bit his lower lip to keep from crying out when her tongue barely grazed the tip of him. His hands grasped the bedspread as she took more of him into her mouth and started sucking gently. Jordan knew he was going to die from the pleasure of it all when she attacked with a new vengence and then deep throated him. His hands came down and wrapped in her hair, pulling her closer. She sucked lightly and then harder feeling him tense up. His hips were moving in the same rhythm as her mouth. Jordan let out a half moan/half groan before he exploded in her mouth. She swallowed every drop before Jordan pulled her back up to him.

"You didn't have to do that."

"You didn't like it?" she tried to look hurt.

Jordan grinned, "I think you know the answer to that one." Mary grinned. Jordan kissed her hard as his hands moved inbetween their bodies. His fingers slid inside her and be felt how wet she was. "You still want to do this?"

Mary arched her body up to met his. "Yes, Jordan, please."

Oh, it was the please that did it for him. He thrusted into her and stayed unmoving for a few moments allowing her body time to get use to him being there. Her eyes raised to met his and Jordan felt his control slip as he started to move in and out of her. Slowly at first and then picking up the pace. He ran his fingers over her jawline watching the emotions flicker across her face as he brought her to the edge. He wanted to make this good for her. He wanted it to be special and for her first time with him to be something she'd want to remember. He wanted her to want to be with him for more than just this once it was all over. She raised her hips to meet his every thrust and Jordan was finding it hard to keep things nice and slow. Still he could have kept the pace if she hadn't chosen that moment to lift her hips to his and wrap her legs around his waist and whisper a almost silent please to him again. Jordan drove into her faster and felt her tighten around him and call his name as she reached her high point. Jordan felt his orgasm over take him and he collapsed on top of her.

Slowly their breathing returned to normal and Mary slowly ran her fingers through his hair. He moved enough so that her head was on his chest. "Was this a one time thing, Mar?" He had to ask. Maybe he should have waited but the question was eating at him.

Mary looked up at him, her finger tracing invisible cirlces on his chest. "Is that all you want it to be?"

"I asked first," he countered.

She bit her lower lip, trying to get her thoughts together. "I've liked you since the day we met, Jordan. I thought you always knew that."

"You have?" The disbelief in his voice almost made her smile.

"Yes," she nodded. Mary watched him waiting for him to say more. But Jordan was still stuck on the fact that she liked him and so this had possibilities. "J? J? Jordan? Damnit, Jordan, stop grinning like that and talk to me." Her temper was showing. He always had liked that fire.

He looked down at her and kissed her nose before speaking, "I have loved you since that year you tried to make everyone Christmas dinner and set the kitchen on fire." His smile grew bigger remembering that.

"That wasn't funny!" she pouted. "I worked hard on that dinner!"

"You looked adorable trying too," he agreed.

"Wait. You love me?" The disbelief that he could actually care that much for her, showed on her face.

"Mary, that's what this was about for me. I'm sorry if I told you too much. I don't want to scare you away but--" The rest of his words were caught by her kiss.

"I'm sorry. What were you saying?" Mary smiled at him.

"I love you," he told her, pushing her hair behind her ear.

"I love you, too, Jordan." She leaned down and met his mouth for another deep kiss.

The End.

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