Kiss From A Rose

By: Mary

Andrea looked around the apartment and let out a deep breath. She had been trying to pack and get everything ready for when Donnie got back but she just couldn't put her heart into this move. She loved her apartment and hated to leave it. Donnie had found her a nice townhouse across town but it wouldn't be the same to her. She closed one more box and set to work on filling another when Donnie walked through the front door.

"Almost done?" he asked, kissing the top of her head.

Andrea looked at him and smiled. She didn't want him to know that this was bothering her. It was silly. Why did this place mean so much to her? It shouldn't have but it did. She had some great memories here. Most of them involving Donnie and then there was Abby. Would that pain ever go away? Andrea doubted it.

Abby had been the sunshine in her life and the reason that she and Donnie had met. Abby had been in the hospital for about a month when Andrea had ran into Donnie in the elevator. They had talked and Donnie had went with her to see Abby that day. Donnie and Abby had bonded instantly. When Abby had died, it had hurt Donnie almost as much as it had Andrea.

"Abby!" Andrea laughed. Her little sister was a terror in her own right but Andrea wouldn't have had it any other way. She had raised her since birth. Their mother had died delivering Andrea's baby sister who was almost 18 years younger than her.

Abby was all smiles as she came running up to Andrea. She had a popsicle in one hand and her doll in the other. At five years old, Abby, was energetic to a fault. She seemed to never run out of energy and so maybe that's why her illness came as such a shock to Andrea.

"Abby has a month to live maybe more maybe less," the doctor told Andrea. He hadn't minced words. He had been straight with her.

Andrea felt the tears fill her eyes. Her baby sister who had been so strong and full of life was now about to loose her life. When had this world become so unfair and uncaring? A little girl was sick and there was nothing that anyone in this world could do for her.

Abby had gotten worse and Andrea had to put her in the hospital for full time care and attention. Her angel never got to come back home once she had entered that building.....That was what hurt Andrea the most, maybe if she had left Abby at home and in familiar surrounds she would have gotten better. Maybe if she had been better somehow she'd still have her.....

"Andrea??? Andrea?? Baby, what are you thinking about?" Donnie's voice brought her back to the present.

Andrea's eyes met Donnie's and she smiled. "Nothing. Come on let's get this stuff loaded into the truck." Andrea picked up a box and Donnie grabbed one and followed her. He knew that she had been stuck back into her memories of Abby but he didn't know what to do that could help her let go of the pain and move on with her life. Abby's death had hurt him too....

"Rose what are you doing?" Donnie chuckled.

"My name isn't rose," Abby told him.

"I know but you are as pretty as a rose," Donnie kissed her on the cheek. Abby smiled and wrapped her frail arms around Donnie's neck in a tight hug. She had grown so attached to him in the short time he had started coming to see her. He could relate to her in a way that Andrea couldn't. The male figure in her life really helped to open her up a little. Andrea regretted not having had some kind a male presence in Abby's life before then. Abby seemed to thrive on Donnie's visits. She had more energy and was more active during his stays with her. Maybe that's why Donnie blamed himself for her death. He had been out of town and had to miss a few of his regular visits with her and she died before he had gotten back into town. That he would always carry with him. The guilt never went away.

Donnie and Andrea pulled up in front of her new townhouse. They carried the boxes inside and sat them in the entryway. Andrea glanced around at the house. It was beautiful and they had already moved most of her furniture and had the living room completely done. Andrea dropped onto one of the chairs and sighed. She wasn't in the mood to move and from the silence on the way over here she could tell Donnie wasn't really in the mood either.

"We have to talk about this sooner or later," Andrea said softly.

"About what?" Donnie asked.

"Abby," Andrea answered.

"What's there to talk about?" he asked. He knew that they had to talk about what had happened. It had been three months and Donnie still couldn't bring himself to go to her grave. He had missed the funeral because Andrea hadn't wanted to tell him that Abby had died while he was away. He had come back and went straight to the hospital to find an empty bed. His heart had broken right then. Why hadn't she told him? He had been pissed and hurt but he had never questioned her decision. He had kept his feelings inside and they were eating away at him. He had to let out all this pain and frustration that he felt. Abby had become his life too.

"Donnie, she's gone and I miss her so much, but we have to move on." Andrea looked at him waiting for his reaction.

"We are moving on," Donnie replied.

"No, we aren't," Andrea shook her head. "We are running away from this. Why move from my apartment? There was nothing wrong with it." Donnie was silent. "You know why. The memories were too much for you when you went there. Donnie, we can't keep doing this."

"You don't think I don't know this?" Donnie asked, his eyes showing his hurt and anger. "Dammit Andrea, you didn't even tell me that she had died! Do you have any idea what the hell it was like for me to go back to that damnned hospital and find her bed empty?! Do you have any clue how much that

hurt? I loved her too." Donnie turned and left the room and a few minutes later Andrea heard the front door slam shut.

"Well look at the mess I've gotten myself into now, Abby," Andrea said softly. She was sitting on the bench next to Abby's grave. Her little sister had been her reason for living for so long that now Andrea had to fight to find a new reason. Would there ever be one? She had hoped that Donnie might want to be her reason but he was so angry with her. She doubted he'd ever forgive her to keeping Abby's death from him. She had thought at the time that it had been for the best but now she could see where she had been wrong. She should have told him but she couldn't go back now and change any of that. It was too late for second chances and regrets now.

Andrea's eyes traced the letters on the monument marking where Abby was. Abigale Dawn. Her mother had named her baby girl just before she had died. Andrea felt the tears fall silently as she thought back to her mothers last few hours. She had begged Andrea to always look out her her baby and then cried about how sorry she was for leaving her with such a burdon. Oh, if only her mother had known what a blessing and joy Abby had been in her life. She had never once wished that she had never had Abby. She had loved and cared for her like she had been her mother and sometimes forgot that she wasn't her mother. Abby had been just what she had needed in her life. She made her look at life so differently and put things in to perspective.

"Abby, what am I going to do? Donnie has been there for us for a long time now and I really hurt him." Andrea stayed there for a little while longer pouring her sorrows out before she headed back home. Maybe Donnie would be back now.

Andrea got as far as her car when she spotted Donnie's car coming down the narrow lane. Donnie had never been to Abby's gravesite and so Andrea was instantly wondering what had brought him here. Was he ready to face this and move on?

Donnie didn't know what had brought him here but he knew that he had to go see his little girls resting place. She had become his little girl in the last few months. He loved her as if she were his and her death had taken a part of his heart and killed it. The aching didn't seem like it would ever go away. Donnie walked slowly up the hill, clutching the flowers and gift he had brought in his hands.

Andrea watched him from her car, she wanted to go to him and help him through this but she knew he had to do this on his own. She couldn't help him this time.

Donnie stopped in front of the stone and his eyes glanced over the inscription. Tears flooded his eyes when he seen what Andrea had had inscribed on the stone.

Abigale Dawn Donnie's only Rose

Taken from us too soon but we'll

see our angel again someday.

We love you always.

Donnie's tears slid down his cheeks as he leaned down next to the stone and placed the roses he had brought into the vase on her headstone. Donnie had so much to say and nothing to say all at the same time. His eyes turned to the heavens just before he stood back up. "I love you , Rose," he whispered, turning and walking back to his car.

Andrea's heart hurt so much watching Donnie's pain. She knew what he was going through. She was going through the same thing.

Weeks past and Andrea was now moved and settled into her townhouse. She and Donnie had gotten back on good terms but their relationship was stressed. Abby had held them together before but what was there to hold them together now? Maybe the only reason they had made it before was because of their love for Abby. Maybe they weren't meant to be. Donnie had come into her a life at a time when she had needed someone to be strong for her and he had done just that. Maybe now that she no longer needed him to be her strength, they had nothing else going for them. No, that couldn't be it. There had to be more to them than just the love they had felt for Abby.

Andrea looked over at Donnie who was absorbed in the evening news on tv. She had been so lost in thought for the last half hour that she had long since lost interest in anything but her thoughts. She knew she loved Donnie with all her heart but what if he had only been hanging around for Abby's sake? Was he going to leave her now that he no longer had to stick around? It would kill her if that happened. She had already lost almost everyone she had in this world. Her mother and baby sister. If Donnie left too, she had no one else. That thought had Andrea almost in tears and she jumped up and left the room before Donnie could see.

"Andrea!?" Donnie jumped up wondering why she had run out of the room. He went down the hall and knocked on the bedroom door. "Honey, can I come in?" No answer came and so Donnie slowly turned the knob. He entered the dark room and gave his eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness. He seen Andrea over in the corner in the rocking chair. He was hugging her knees up to her chest. He could see her shoulders shaking with her silent sobs. Donnie walked over to her and knelt down in front of her. "Baby, what's wrong?"

Andrea couldn't bring herself to speak. She couldn't tell him that she was afraid of loosing him and of loosing everyone that she ever loved. She couldn't tell him that she was afraid of always being alone.

Donnie leaned up and pulled her into his arms. She slid from the chair and into his lap with him sitting on the floor. Andrea burried her face in his shoulder and cried. He ran his hands over her back and whispered sweet things into her ear, trying to calm her down.

Andrea's tears finally were under her control and Donnie leaned back a little so that he could look into her face. "What was that all about?" he asked softly. His voice was full of concern.

Andrea shook her head and tried to get up off of his lap but Donnie wrapped his arms around her and wouldn't let her up. "No, Andrea, we have to talk about this," Donnie told her.

"What's the point?" she asked. "You're just going to leave me like everyone else that I've ever cared about and so why act like you care now? Just leave me now so that I don't have to wait around and get more attached and in love with you."

"Is that what you think?" Donnie asked. "That I'm going to leave you? Baby, I'm not going anywhere. I promise," Donnie kissed her forehead.

"That's what they all say, Donnie. But sooner or later everyone leaves you and you're left all alone. I don't want to be alone Donnie." Her tears were coming back and Donnie placed kisses on her cheeks brushing them away.

"Sweetheart, I know that with your past that it seems like everyone that you let in close to love end up leaving you but I promise that I'm never going anywhere."

"How do you know, Donnie?" Andrea's eyes searched his. "You can't beat fate, Donnie. What if I'm jinxed and everyone who loves me and I love are destined to die? Maybe you better get out while you can."

Donnie knew she was serious but he couldn't stop the smile that formed at his lips. "Trust me you aren't jinxed. You're perfect. Andrea, I love you and know that we have lots and lots more years to spend together. I don't plan on going anywhere."

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about Abby's death while you were in LA but I really thought that it was for the best. I didn't want to worry you while you were gone. I'm so sorry, Donnie," she said softly.

"I know you are and I know you were probably having a really rough time and so I an not going to hold anything against you. I understand."

Andrea's eyes met his again and she tried to study his expression as it was right then. She wanted to commit it to memory incase she had to ever recall how he looked just then. She knew he had promised to always be there but she had already learned that fate didn't care what promises were made. It took you even if you had unfinished promises.

"I love you, Andrea. Always," Donnie told her. He kissed her softly and Andrea knew then that he would make good on his promise. He wouldn't leave her alone.

The End

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