You Were Mine

By:  Lizzie

 

"Mary Beth, we need to talk," Kevin Richardson sighed, waking his wife of ten years from a deep sleep.

 

"Hmm, Kev, can't it wait until morning?" Mary Beth Richardson yawned, rolling her face deep into the fluffy satin covered pillow.

 

"No, it's waited too long, I need to talk to you now," Kevin said sharply.

 

Mary Beth sat up and looked at her beautiful husband. "At three o'clock in the morning? You just got home from the office, why don't you get some rest?"

 

"Now, Mary Beth," Kevin repeated firmly. "Come down stairs, please."

 

Mary Beth reluctantly pulled back the blue satin sheets of their bed and crawled out. Kevin watched her with masked emotion in his eyes. He walked about three steps ahead of her, down the oak wood hallway and beautifully carpeted stairs into their gorgeous country style kitchen. He pulled out a high back oak wood chair from the table and held it for her. She slowly sat down, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. He sat down across from her as she stifled a yawn.

 

"Now Kevin," she murmured with a small grin, "what is so deftly important that you had to pull me out of bed at three o'clock?"

 

"This isn't a laughing matter, Mary Beth," Kevin said shortly.

 

Mary Beth's smile faded instantly and she looked at him curiously. "What's wrong, Kevin, honey?" she whispered, reaching out for one of his hands. But Kevin stood up from the table, ignoring the loving gesture.

 

"I want a divorce," Kevin said, extremely bluntly, after a few moments.

 

Mary Beth slumped back into her chair, her eyes wide. She wouldn't have been more surprised if he would have said he was pregnant. A divorce? her mind raced. "W-what?" she whispered out loud, her voice breaking. It felt as if a freight train had just hit her, she could barely breathe.

 

"I want a divorce, Mary Beth," he turned to her, his green eyes flashing. Mary Beth's eyes spilled over. Could this be the same man that only two nights ago made such passionate love to her? Could this be the same man that only ten years ago had promised everything to her? What had she done so wrong?

 

"W-why, Kevin?" she said, trying to control her voice from cracking, even though everything in her told her to just let go. "What have I done? I love you!" she pleaded for a legitament answer. She pleaded with the fact that she loved him. "I love you, and our babies, I thought you were happy, I-I thought we were happy!"

 

Kevin looked at her for another moment. "It's not you, Mary Beth," he whispered. "It's me, I've-I've found someone else."

 

Mary Beth in took a sharp breath. Someone new? Her Kevin found someone new? Oh how could God do this to her?! She couldn't help what she did then, she dropped her head into her hands and started to sob. How could she have been so stupid? All the canceled plans, all the late nights at the office, all the odd credit card bills. How could she have not seen it?!

 

Kevin stared at the women he was suppose to love, honor and cherish until death. Now he didn't even want to look at her, especially when she was in so much pain. Pain that you caused, his conscience snapped irritably.

 

"Kevin, what about our kids, what about this home?" she whispered, her sobs subsiding. "You're gonna give away all we struggled for for the last ten years up? Whatever I did, Kevin, I can change. I promise."

 

Kevin didn't even look at her. "I don't want you to change, Mary Beth, I just don't want to be here anymore. I'm leaving, now. I'll be back for my things, and I'll contact lawyers and all the legal work. Tell the kids I love them."

 

"Kevin," Mary Beth whispered as she watched him pull on his coat and shoes. Kevin looked at her cautiously. The woman stared back with her large dark eyes full of tears. "What about me, Kevin? Didn't you always love me?"

 

Kevin didn't say a word, he just turned around and left the house. Mary Beth stared after him and abruptly burst into tears again.

 

*FLASH*BACK*

 

 "Holy God, he's hot," Jamie McKenzie sighed, looking to one of the five Backstreet Boys.

 

"Eh, they're okay," Mary Beth Christiansen mumbled, tying her dancing shoes onto her feet.

 

"How can you say that?" Jamie scolded, looking at the black haired girl like she was nuts.

 

"Because of the tattoo's, I heard he had his tongue pierced," Mary Beth added with a rueful smile. "How could you like something like that?"

 

"Because he's sexy !" Jamie protested.

 

"If that's your definition of sexy, I suppose you're right," Mary Beth grimaced.

 

"You wouldn't know sexy if it fell into your lap," Jamie muttered, eyeing the cute Latino. "And I plan on making him do just that."

 

"Fall into your lap?" Mary Beth questioned with a grin. "How are you gonna do that? Trip him?" she laughed as her new found friend sneered at her. "Personally, I don't think any of them are that good looking."

 

"Oh my God, you need your temperature taken," Jamie chided. "You are crazy!"

 

"Yeah, whatever," Mary Beth jumped up from her spot on the floor. "Besides, I'm a professional, I don't fall in love with my employers." With that, she spun in the direction of the dance area, only to run right smack dab into an extremely well built man.

 

"Oh, excuse me!" the man, Kevin Richardson, pardoned. "I should have watched where I was going."

 

Mary Beth stared up into his eyes completely dumbstruck. This man was sexy. So she had lied to Jaime, she thought one of them were gorgeous. But she'd never even attempt to get her hopes up.

 

"Ma ‘am?" Kevin questioned, he looked down into her chocolate brown eyes. She looked up at him vulnerably. Kevin smiled slightly. Something about this woman had grabbed his attention.

 

"Oh, I'm sorry, I mean, that's okay, I should have been looking too," she rushed to explain herself. She had been ‘caught' staring, and immediately flushed a crimson red.

 

"That's okay, Miss...?" Kevin trailed off, attempting to get her name.

 

"Miss Christiansen," Mary Beth stuttered. "But call me Mary Beth, please," she added hastily.

 

"Mary Beth...." the name rolled off his lips and sent shivers down her spine.

 

*FLASH*FORWARD*

***

 

"Mommy?" a four year old Scott Richardson asked hesitantly from the doorway of the kitchen. Mary Beth looked up from her cup of steaming coffee. It was seven o'clock that morning, no matter how tired she was, her mind wouldn't let her sleep.

 

"Yes, baby?" Mary Beth whispered.

 

"Where's Daddy?" Scott whispered.

 

Mary Beth took in a deep breath to steady extremely weak composure and stop her tears. "He's not home right now, Scotty. Why don't you go jump in the tub? We're gonna go visit Gramma today," she told her son. Scott's dark green eyes brightened considerably. "Can Krista come too? Please Mommy?!"

 

Mary Beth had to chuckled at her son's antics. "Of course your sister is coming with us!" she grinned at the dark haired boy. "Now go jump in the tubby, okay?"

 

"Okay, but Krista's awake, Mama, you'd better go get her!" Scott bounced out of the room. Mary Beth shook her head slightly at the boys never dying energy. Just like his daddy, she thought, the tears welling in her eyes once again. Not now, she thought. Get them to Ma's first.

 

Mary Beth downed the rest of her coffee in a few gulps and slowly stood. She wrapped her arms around her self and padded bare foot down the hall and up the stairs in her grey sweat pants and tee-shirt. She opened the nursery door and looked at her beautiful two year old daughter. The small child was standing in her crib in nothing but a diaper and a grin. Her curly black hair fell into her big brown eyes and her few teeth shone brightly. "Mommeee!" she squealed, reaching out her arms. Mary Beth scooped the girl high into her arms as her laughter peeled through the air.

 

"Oh, Krista," she sighed, hugging her baby close. "You're so pretty."

 

Krista giggled in response and wrapped her arms tight around her mother. A couple seconds later she pulled away and shrugged, grinning, as if to say, ‘I can't help it!'

 

Mary Beth chuckled, and tickled Krista's stomach. "You wanna go to Gramma's?" she cooed. Krista clapped her hands and her smile broadened.

 

"Gamma!" she shrieked, throwing her hands in the air. "Gamma, Gamma, Gamma!"

 

Mary Beth's smile grew genuine as she lay the toddler onto her changing table. She took off the diaper and wiped her small bottom with a baby wipe, then slipped a pull-up on her. She pulled out a pretty yellow sun dress and slipped it over her head. Taking out a soft baby brush, she pulled it through Krista's messy curls, then took out a fresh baby wipe and wiped her face gently. Then she wrapped a white, button down sweater jacket.

 

"All set to go," she cooed to her. Krista raised her arms for her mother and Mary Beth swiped her high into them.

 

"Dada?" Krista cooed softly, struggling to get out of her mother's arms.

 

"Daddy's not here, sweetie," Mary Beth whispered, her voice coming out strained and tense. Krista looked at her mother and shrugged again with one of her smiles.

 

"Gamma, though?" she insisted. Mary Beth sighed and kissed her cheek.

 

"We'll go to Gamma's soon," she promised her daughter.

 

*   *   *

 

"Hey, Mom?" Mary Beth asked softly into the phone.

 

"Mary Beth!" her mother, Teresa, exclaimed happily. It had been a while since she had heard from her youngest daughter.

 

"Mama, I'm bringing the kids over, we'll be there in about a half hour, okay?" she whispered.

 

"Mary Beth, is everything okay?" Teresa asked gently.

 

"No, Mama, nothing is okay. I really need to come talk to you, be there soon," Mary Beth sighed into the phone, looking at her two kids standing hand-in-hand by the door, waiting for her.

 

"Okay, sweetie, hurry fast," Teresa answered carefully. "Love you baby."

 

"Love you too, Mom, see you in a bit," Mary Beth hung up the phone and turned to her children with a forced grin. "Ready to go to Gramma's?"

 

"Yeah!" Scott cried.

 

"Yeah!" Krista mimicked, looking at her older brother with adoring brown eyes.

 

"Okay, to the car!" Mary Beth feigned happiness as she hurried the two out the door to their little Ford Taurus. The family car.

 

What a family Mary Beth's mind raced. She swallowed the lump in her throat as she buckled Krista into her car seat and Scott into the belt right next to her.

 

She crawled into the front seat and stuck the key in the ignition, she turned it and slowly pulled out of the driveway. She made her way down the familiar street of her neighborhood and turned onto a highway. Her mother lived in a different suburb of New York City, just off the main highway.

 

A little less than a half hour later, Mary Beth pulled into the driveway of the small cottage home she had bought her parents about eleven years before. She put the car in park and unbuckled her

seat belt slowly. She took in a deep calming breath, and opened her door. She got her children out of the car and set them to their feet. Both kids started shrieking and ran wildly to the front door which was pulled open by a thin old woman in sweats and a tee-shirt.

 

"My babies babies!" Teresa Christiansen exclaimed, grinning broadly. She hugged the two toddlers tight in her arms and showered them both with kisses. Both children laughed delightedly and pushed past her into the house.

 

"Cookies, Gamma?" Krista murmured, tugging on the leg of her pants. "Pwease?"

 

"Go in the kitchen by Grandpa, baby girl, he'll get you some cookies," Teresa told the little girl.

 

Krista smiled and ran after her big brother.

 

"Hi, Mom," Mary Beth greeted tiredly.

 

"Mary Beth, you look like you've been through hell and back," Teresa remarked casually. "Whatever is wrong, dear?"

 

"Thanks mom, considering my whole life just went down the tubes, I thought I looked pretty damn good," Mary Beth muttered sarcastically.

 

"What's wrong, honey," Teresa questioned, worriedly.

 

"Every, Mama, everything!" Mary Beth broke into sobs and her mother quickly wrapped her arms around her shaking shoulders.

 

"Not now, dear," she soothed gently. "Come inside and tell Mama what's wrong."

 

"Thanks, Mom," Mary Beth sniffled. The two adults went into the house, shutting the door behind them.

 

"George," Teresa called to her husband. "Keep and eye on my little monsters while I talk to Mary Beth, something is terribly wrong."

 

"Yes, dear," George answered. The two woman heard Scott squeal with laughter, so they knew everything would be all right.

 

"Come on into the living room, dear," Teresa urged, leading Mary Beth into the small sitting room.

 

They settled onto the couch next to each other and made themselves comfortable. "Now, Bethy, tell me, what is wrong?"

 

"Oh, Mama, everything happened so fast," Mary Beth breathed out. "Everything seemed just perfect, I thought he was happy. I was happy. But everything isn't perfect, and I'm so lost," Mary Beth told her mother every detail of the scene that had gone on the night before. Teresa listened carefully, but even her sweet, kind nature grew furious when she learned of what her son-in-law had done to her baby girl.

 

"The worst thing, Mama," Mary Beth sniffled. "The worst thing is, is that I love him. I don't hate him one bit, and if he decided to come back, I would forgive him like this," she snapped her fingers and broke into more tears. "I'm so lost, Mama, what if he tries to take my babies away from me? What do I do then?"

 

"Baby, there is nothing you can do except prove that you are a good mother, which you are, so I wouldn't even worry about that," Teresa said softly, drying Mary Beth's tears. "If he's lucky, he'll get a good knock on the head and realize what he's throwing away. You two have worked so hard for all you have. You've been through quite a bit with each other."

 

"I know that, Mama," Mary Beth whispered. "But I don't think he's coming back."

 

*   *   *

 

Kevin walked slowly up the elaborate hallway of Amanda Delaney's apartment building. His cocky grin was bright as he knocked on her door, hiding the six blood red roses behind his back.

 

"Who is it?" a sparkling voice came through the door. Kevin's smile widened considerably, but something in the back of his mind nagged him—something was wrong, but he couldn't figure out what.

 

"It's me, Manda," he answered huskily, pushing the thoughts away. "And I've got news for you."

 

He heard her quickly wrestle with the lock and the door was pulled open in seconds. The thirty-eight year old Kevin Richardson stood leaned up against the door frame in black jean and a black muscle shirt, one hand behind his back. She gave him a seductive smile and Kevin took in all her curves and features. She was five foot nine with waist length honey blonde hair and big green eyes. She had high cheek bones and a straight nose. Her lips were full, and at the moment, smeared with red lipstick. She was in a black dress suit with black nylons and heels on. To Kevin, she looked delicious—delicious enough to eat. But he'd save that for later.

 

"What news, Kevy?" she smiled and Kevin's mind turned to mush.

 

"Can I come in?" he asked her simply. "And could you put these things in water?" he held out the delicate bouquet and she gasped in surprise. She let him into the apartment and took the six roses from him. Kevin made himself comfortable in the living room while she filled a vase with water and arranged the flowers carefully.

 

"What news now, Kev?" she questioned eagerly, gracefully seating herself next to him on the black leather couch.

 

"You're going to be happy," he warned with smile, leaning over and brushing her smooth white face with his rough fingers. "Very happy."  Of course she'll be happy, she's been pushing this for months, his conscience snapped

 

"Don't tease me Kevin," Amanda whined, covering his hand with her own. "That's not fair!"

 

"Well, put it this way, Miss Hot Shot Lawyer," Kevin's voice came out low and husky. "I need a good divorce lawyer—you know anyone?"

 

Amanda's eyes grew wide and she gripped his hand tightly. "Truly?!" she exclaimed.

 

"Honestly," Kevin whispered.

 

"Okay," Amanda sighed, a thoughtful look crossed her face. "I'll call Donald—he'll be a good lawyer for you."

 

"Wait a minute, Manda," Kevin protested. "Why don't you be my lawyer?"

 

"Kev, I make it a point not to date my clients," Amanda reminded in a low tone.

 

"What if your client is your fiancèe?" Kevin murmured.

 

Amanda opened her mouth to protest, but Kevin's words stopped her. "W-what?"

 

"Marry, Amanda," Kevin sighed, taking both her hands in one of his. He pulled a small gold band with a tiny diamond in the middle, out of his pocket.

 

"Oh, Kevin," Amanda said softly. "Yes," she whispered as he slipped the ring on her finger.

 

Kevin grinned and pushed her back into the cushions of the couch, capturing her lips in his.

 

***

*FLASH*BACK*

 

 "Kevin put me down!" Mary Beth cried, laughing. "There's no jump there!"

 

"Sorry Bethy, I told you I needed help with my dance steps!" Kevin grinned slyly, setting her carefully back to her feet.

 

"Help with your dance steps my ass," Brian Littrell murmured from the table in the break room.

 

"Well, hot shot," Kevin snapped. "If you got your steps down so well, why don't you show me?" he gestured to Mary Beth.

 

"No problem!" Brian jumped up and took his place in front of Mary Beth. He took her hands and pulled her to him, her stepped to the right while she stepped to the left. They stepped back together and then forward. They went into the twirl, and Mary Beth lost her footing, falling back into Brian.

 

"Oof!" Brian huffed as he fell to the floor also, Mary Beth landing right on top of him.

 

Both twenty-three year olds burst into laughter and Kevin glared enviously at the position of his cousin. In fact, out of everyone practicing for the Millennium tour, Mary Beth and Brian seemed the closest, even though she and Kevin were considered a couple.

 

"Promise me we'll always be friends, Brian?" Mary Beth chuckled, looking up into his baby blue eyes.

 

"Promise," Brian nodded, standing and helping her to her feet.

 

*FLASH*FORWARD*

***

 

"Bed time, Krista," Mary Beth sighed, carrying the half sleeping girl up the stairs to her crib. "You coming, Scotty?"

 

"Yes Mommy," Scott yawned, trudging up the steps behind her. Mary Beth slowly made her way to the nursery and lay Krista in the crib with a bottle of milk. The little girl curled up, sucking on the milk slowly.

 

"Night princess," Mary Beth murmured, brushing a curl off her forehead. She took Scott's hand and walked with him to his bedroom.

 

"Mommy, where is Daddy?" he yawned again, crawling onto his bed.

 

"He's at work, baby, you can see him tomorrow," she promised. This she could try to do for her children.

 

"Okay, Mama, I love you!" Scott motioned for a kiss and Mary Beth obliged gratefully. She would always have her children.

 

"Night, lil' man," she smiled. She flipped on his night light and left the room, closing the door halfway.

 

"God, how am I suppose to explain this to them?" she moaned to herself. She went into her bedroom and flipped on the light. Everything was exactly as she had left it at three o'clock that morning. She took in a deep breath and dared to look at herself in the mirror. Her long curly black hair hung in ringlets around her face and over her shoulders, her big brown eyes were red rimmed from crying, other than that, her skin glowed beautifully. She had a small button nose and full bronze colored lips. Freckles splattered over her cheeks and bridge of her nose. She was an extremely beautiful woman. She had once modeled for cover girl, Tommy Girl and Calvin Klein, but was now just a stay at home mom. Kevin worked at Jive Records in New York City.

 

If I'm so pretty, and he doesn't want to change anything about me, why doesn't he love me anymore? Tears threatened once again and this time, she let them slip down her cheeks easily. She allowed herself to cry for a few moments, then hastily wiped them away.

 

She was going to be strong. She was going to be strong and reasonable–she was going to show Kevin what he was throwing away. Ten years of love, tears, hard work, and family. Ten years of memories. Ten years. But looking at herself in the mirror, every word she had just tried to force herself to believe was at a loss. She'd never be able to get through this without one or two mental breakdowns.

 

She pulled her navy blue baby top over her head and pushed her jean to the floor. She pulled a pair of back mesh shorts out of her drawer and one of Kevin's whit work shirts out of the closet. She pulled the drawstring tight on the shorts and buttoned the shirt quickly. Glancing at the clock, she found it was only nine-thirty. She had needed to page Kevin.

 

She picked up the cordless phone and with shaky fingers, dialed in his number. She got the answering service, and instead of dialing in the message, which was there own private game, she spoke.

 

"Kevin," she started, relieved to find her voice steady and strong. "This is Mary Beth. I know you don't really want to hear from me, but our children have been asking for you all day. You haven't seen them for the past few and it would be nice if you came and took them for the day tomorrow. Please call me back."

 

She quickly hung up the phone a drew in a deep breath. God how I could use a friend, she thought.

 

She slumped onto the bed, setting the phone at her side. She dropped her head into her hands and took a cleansing breath, clearing her thoughts.

 

Suddenly she remembered. "Brian!" she said out loud, bolting upright. She picked up the phone again and by heart dialed his number.

 

"Littrell's," a soft male voice answered on the fourth ring.

 

Mary Beth melted at the sound, she hadn't heard it for so long.

 

"Brian," she breathed. Throughout the past twelve years, Brian had always been there when she needed him and vise-versa. Mary Beth knew he could help her now. He and Leigh Anne had just gotten a divorce two years before. It had been very painful for both of them, but things had just not been working. Leigh Anne had moved to California with their eight year old daughter, Alexis.

 

"Oh, Mary Beth!" Brian's voice brightened almost a hundred percent.

 

"Oh, Brian," she whispered, then the tears took over.

 

"Mary Beth?" Brian questioned, startled. "Honey, what's wrong?"

 

"Oh Brian, Kevin," she hiccuped. "Kevin, he, he..."

 

"Sh," Brian soothed. "Beth, sh, it can't be as horrible as it seems. Sh."

 

"Brian," Mary Beth whispered. "Brian, Kevin wants a divorce," she choked back another sob. "Oh Brian, I love him so much, what did I do wrong?!"

 

"He what?" Brian cried, shocked.

 

"That was my reaction," Mary Beth admitted, forcing herself to stop crying. "I thought he was happy!"

 

"You're not the only one!" Brian muttered.

 

"Brian, he met another woman," Mary Beth murmured. "I-I just need some comfort."

 

"He met another woman?!" Brian demanded, an extremely dangerous edge in his voice.

 

"Yes," Mary Beth whispered.

 

"Mary Beth, I have a month vacation coming up, I'm telling management I'm going a week early and stay a week late, for family problems," Brian told her, his voice gruff. "I'm coming up there tomorrow."

 

"Brian, that isn't necessary," Mary Beth whispered, relieved that he offered.

 

"Yes. Yes it is," Brian told her seriously. "Listen, baby, get some sleep. You can tell me everything tomorrow. I'll try and get an afternoon flight."

 

"Thank you, Brian," she mumbled. "Oh God, thank you."

 

"Always, night sweetie," Brian sighed, hanging up the phone.

 

Mary Beth slowly put the phone back on the charger and crawled between the satin sheets. The moment her head hit the pillow, she fell into an exhausted sleep.

 

***

*FLASH*BACK*

 

 "‘Cause I want it that way" AJ McLean of the Backstreet Boys sang as their dancers slowly finished the dance. The show for the night was over and they quickly made their way off stage and went under it, going into the backstage area.

 

"Hey Beth!" Kevin called. The petite dark haired dancer turned around and waited for him to catch up. "It's our two month tonight, Bethy," Kevin whispered., wrapping his arm around her. "You wanna go out?"

 

Mary Beth looked up at him with tired, but happy eyes. "Why don't we just order a movie from your room?" she suggested. "It would be nice to just be alone."

 

Kevin smiled a nodded. "Okay, sounds great!"

 

"Yeah, go shower, Richardson," she chided. "You smell."

 

Kevin flashed her one of his knee weakening smiles and jogged ahead.

 

***

 

"The Haunting?" Kevin suggested with a grin.

 

"Sure, scary is good," Mary Beth shrugged. Kevin placed the order over the phone and crawled onto the bed, fluffing the pillows to lean against the head board. Once he was comfortable, he held out his arms for her and she snuggled into his lap. She leaned her back up against his chest and he flipped off the lamp then wrapped his arms tight around her stomach. Kevin buried his face in her thick mane of black hair. Mary Beth snuggled against him happily. When the relationship had started, she had been so surprised and very grateful. Kevin was everything she had ever dreamed of in a man. Loving, gently, romantic; tall, dark and handsome. Sweet and caring. She had fallen hopelessly in love with him.

 

They watched the beginning of the movie in silence. Just happily holding onto each other.

 

"Kevin, this is so stupid," Mary Beth murmured a little less than twenty minutes into the movie.

 

"You have any better ideas?" Kevin grinned down at her. Mary Beth looked up into his beautiful green eyes seriously. Without a word, she wrapped her arm behind his head and brought his lips to hers. Kevin sighed against them and kissed her back passionately. His hand trailed down her back and turned her body into his.

 

"You are so beautiful," he whispered as his kisses trailed down her neck, his hands brushed a mass of hair off her shoulder so his lips could move lower.

 

"Make love to me, Kevin," she whispered hoarsely, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Please..."

 

Kevin groaned against her lips, trying not to lose complete control once those words were out of her mouth. He had wanted her for a long time, but cared about her so much that he had never brought himself to make the first moves, afraid to scare her off. But now she was in his arms, and completely willing.

 

"Are you sure, Bethy?" he muttered, trailing his lips down her neck lazily.

 

Mary Beth stifled a moan and dug her finger nails into his shoulders. "Yes, Kevin. Please."

 

Kevin chuckled lightly as his lips came in contact with the hollow in her neck. She gasped and clutched to him tighter...this was excruciating---wonderful, but excruciating.

 

He flipped around on the bed until she was beneath him. She looked up and caught his eye, they were at least two shades darker and filled with desire. He wants me, her heart fluttered. He actually wanted her...with a passion. She sighed as she felt his fingers entwine in her hair and  his lips move lower. He spread tiny kisses over her collar bone, and, with his teeth and tongue, popped the first button on her blouse, dipping his tongue into the crevice between her breast.

 

Mary Beth's hands went limp at either side of her head and her eyes closed as she silently begged him to continue. His hands left her hair to finished unbuttoning her blouse. "Come on Mary Beth, talk to me here," his voice came gruff, deeper then usual, as he pushed the light cotton material off of her shoulders and flung it to the floor. Mary Beth's eyes flew open and her jaw slackened some as she realized he too had removed his shirt.

 

"God, Kevin, you don't know what you do to me," she half gasped, half moaned. "Please, don't even think about stopping."

 

"Hadn't even crossed my mind," he returned playfully eyes sparkling. His gaze fell to her lips and they instantly darkened again as he leaned over and captured them, slipping his tongue inside. She sighed deeply and wrapped her arms around him tightly, pulling him as close as possible. Her tongue slowly teased and taunted with his, trying to pick up the speed, but he wouldn't let her.

 

He slowly moved his hands up her torso, unclasping her bra and pulling it with his hands off her body and out of the way.

 

Mary Beth ached for his touch, and this slow teasing was not satisfying her at all. She didn't know exactly what to say or, in that case, even do. They had never talked about sex, but Mary Beth wasn't stupid to the fact that he had been with other women, unfortunately, this was a first for her, and she just wanted him to hurry up.

 

Again, she came out of her fantasy land as a new touch sent shivers coursing through her body. Kevin's wonderful hands were gently cupping her breasts. Opening her eyes, she found him straddling her half naked body, staring at her face intently as his hands played havoc of  her. He smiled tenderly when her eyes opened. "You like that, huh?" he ran his thumb over her nipple, laughing as her eyes rolled back in her head and her teeth appeared to catch her bottom lip. His voice turned serious again. "You are so gorgeous, Mary Beth," he murmured. Leaning down, he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, then both her eyes, the tip of her nose and her lips, before trailing his tongue across her chin and neck, only resting when he could take her nipple into his mouth, nipping it with his teeth.

 

"Kevin!" Mary Beth gasped, tangling her hands in his hair. She couldn't decide if it was to bring him closer or push him away, the pain and pleasure mixed was almost to much for her. "Oh Kevin," she groaned. "God, Kevin," a whimper this time as he switched to pay attention to her other breast. "Please...I—I want you inside of me, please hurry," her hips raised off the bed, proving that that was exactly what she wanted.

 

Kevin didn't need anymore convincing. He released her nipple and sat back. He hooked his fingers in her pajama pants and panties and pulled them off together, then rid himself of his jeans and boxers. On a second thought, he paused for a moment and pulled his jeans back off the floor, pulling a small, foil package from the pocket. As soon as the birth control was in place, he moved back over her.

 

"Mary Beth, look at me," he murmured, kissing her lips gently. Mary Beth forced her eyes open, he smiled at her and kissed her again as he nudged her legs apart and slipped himself between them. Her eyes started to drift close again, but Kevin stopped her. "I want you to look at me as I enter you, Bethy," he whispered. Her eyes once again opened and locked with his. Slowly, out of instinct, she wrapped her legs around his back and pulled him closer, gasping when she felt his erection poke at her most feminine part.

 

"It's okay, baby," he smiled again and slowly started entering her. Mary Beth bit her lip as he slid all the way in, forcing back a gasp of pain. Her eyes filled with tears and Kevin's eyes widened. "Beth?" he choked. "Bethy, God," how could he be so stupid? "Why didn't you tell me?"

 

"Because I didn't want you to stop, Kevin," she whispered, thankful that the pain was subsiding. "Because I wanted to do this."

 

"Oh, Mary Beth," his eyes darkened even more as desire set in full force. "Baby, you are so beautiful, thank you."

 

"For what?" she whispered, gasping as he moved ever so slightly.

 

"For giving yourself to me so unselfishly," he leaned and kissed her deeply, roughly. He felt her gasp again as he slowly started moving in and out of her.

 

"Faster, Kevin," she pleaded, wrapping her legs tighter around him, trying to get more of him. "Please, Kevin..."

 

*FLASH*FORWARD*

***

 

Ring! Ring! Ring!

 

Mary Beth shot up in bed, gasping for air. "The phone," she murmured, grabbing for it. As she did, she realized it was just after midnight. Who the hell? she thought, flipping it on.

 

"Richardson's," she answered automatically.

 

"Mary Beth?" came the deep, ever familiar voice of Kevin.

 

"Kevin." Mary Beth said flatly.

 

"Hello to you too," Kevin muttered sarcastically.

 

"You expect a cheery greeting, Kevin Scott?" Mary Beth scolded.

 

"No, but I expect you to be adult about his!" Kevin snapped.

 

"Adult?!" Mary Beth asked in wonder. "You're one incredible person, Kevin Richardson."

 

"What is that suppose to mean?" Kevin demanded.

 

"After the past ten years, Kevin. Ten years of tears, happiness, love, sympathy, memories, good times and bad, two beautiful children and the struggle to build a perfect home, you decide to give it all up," she started.

 

"I-," Kevin protested.

 

"No, let me finish," she said in a deadly calm voice. "I thought everything was perfect, Kevin. I was so happy. I would lay down my life for you and those kids. I love you Kevin. How do you expect me to take this? Two days ago you were making love to me and telling me over and over how much you loved me. And now, you're leaving me? That hurts, hurts worse than you could ever imagine," she finished in a choked whisper.

 

"Bethy-," Kevin sighed.

 

"No. And don't call me that. I don't need an explanation," Mary Beth murmured. "Pick up Krista and Scott tomorrow at nine. They are the ones that are going to need an explanation."

 

"I-I'll be there, Mary Beth," Kevin told her softly.

 

"God, Kev," Mary Beth sighed, she was never one to hide her feelings. "I love you, I hope you honestly know what you throwing away here," she quickly hung up the phone before he could reply. Then she curled up in a ball and sobbed into her pillow.

 

***

 

Kevin pulled into the driveway of his home of ten years at exactly nine-o'clock that morning. The house looked strangely empty. He slowly made his way up the walk and tapped on the door. There was no answer.

 

Sighing, he pulled out his keys and unlocked it. Leave it to Mary Beth to oversleep, he thought. He pushed open the door and stepped into a spotless house. He looked around wide eyed. There was usually clutter and toys everywhere, but there didn't even appear to be to be a spot of dust on the floor.

 

"Holy shit," Kevin muttered. The other think the astonished him was no one was awake, and those kids were always up at the crack of dawn.

 

I'll get the kids and leave her a note, he thought to himself as he trudged up the stairs. But those thoughts flew from his mind as he passed the open bedroom door. Mary Beth lay sprawled on her back on the queen sized bed. One of her arms was off the side and her hair was a mess. He noticed she had on one of his shirts and let a small smile come to his face, she was always wearing his clothes. What he noticed next tore at his heart; her cheeks were tear stained. He slowly stepped into the room and next to the bed. He didn't understand what was tugging at his heart. He didn't love her, couldn't love her. But if he didn't, why did every word she say and every tear she cried, slice into his heart? You loved her for ten years and three kids, Kevin, his conscience answered hotly. Three, three kids. The miscarriage. Their first baby would be eleven years old by now, but Mary Beth had fallen off a stage at a concert practice and had had a miscarriage.

 

Kevin settled on the side of the bed and gently brushed her cheek. "Oh, Bethy," he murmured. He closed his eyes against the pain and didn't notice when her eyes fluttered open.

 

Mary Beth looked up into his face, hope flooded into her heart. Maybe she could win him back.

She looked at him with chocolate brown eyes and when Kevin came to, he looked at her.

 

"I-I am sorry, Mary Beth," Kevin managed to choke out. "I didn't mean to wake you."

 

"Mary Beth's eyes clouded over. "Why are you in here, then?"

 

"I-I," Kevin sighed. "I don't know," he told her finally.

 

Mary Beth pulled away from his teasing fingers and jumped out of the bed. She frantically tried to push her hair into order. "I'll get Krista, you go wake up our son."

 

The hurt was evident in her eyes. As she turned to leave, Kevin caught her arm and pulled her around. He shut the door softly and pushed her up against it.

 

"Kevin, what are you doing?" she whispered, the hurt in her eyes was replaced with fear.

 

"Bethy, you know I would never hurt you," he whispered. Mary Beth looked up at him, anger now replaced the fear.

 

"Let me go, Kevin Scott," she said sharply. "There is more than one way to hurt a person. Right now you're hurting my arms and killing my heart, let me go."

 

Kevin loosened the grip on her arms, but didn't let go. "Stop it, Mary Beth," Kevin warned softly. Mary Beth slumped against the door and lowered her head, looking into his eyes hurt too much. She wanted him to love her, to kiss her, hold her close, make love to her.

 

"Why are you doing this to me?" she whispered. "Please, get the kids and leave."

 

"Bethy," Kevin whispered, raising her chin with his thumb and forefinger. He looked again into her tear filled eyes."

 

"Please, Kevin," she muttered, gazing seriously into his eyes, her heart was thundering in her chest. "Either love me or hate me. I can't live in-between."

 

Kevin didn't utter a word as he slowly leaned his lips to her, brushing them softly. He felt her stiffen, but only pressed harder. Mary Beth melted against him, giving into his kisses. She had always been vulnerable to him. He had stolen her heart from their first kiss, and she knew she would never get it back. Kevin's hands fell to the first button of her shirt and easily popped it open, the rest followed quickly.

 

Mary Beth didn't come to until she felt him slid it off her shoulders. "Stop, Kevin," she rasped, she pushed with all her might against his chest. What are you doing!? her mind raced. You want him to do this! Her conscience broke in, What is he doing?! It's not you, you love him, but he says he wants to leave. "What are you doing?!" she finally demanded. "Asking for a divorce yesterday and trying to make love to me today? I don't buy this."

 

Kevin attempted to steady his breath. What am I doing? That was a damn good question.

 

"I-I'm sorry," Kevin muttered, standing up straight.

 

"For what? Trying to seduce me? Or asking for a divorce?" she searched his eyes hopefully.

 

Kevin tightened his jaw. "Trying to ‘seduce' you," he muttered.

 

Mary Beth looked away and Kevin took a step back. She quickly stooped and pulled on her shirt, buttoning it as fast as she could. Then she turned around and opened the door. "I'm sorry to inconvenience you. Get Scott ready and I'll get Krista."

 

Kevin only watched as her form retreated. "Okay," he sighed. He spun on his heel and went quickly into his son's bedroom.

 

"Hey there, lil' man," Kevin murmured, rubbing Scott's cheek with his thumb. Scott's hand shot up and pushed Kevin's away.

 

"C'mon, Scotty, it's Daddy," Kevin whispered, pulling the toddler into his arms.

 

"I want Mommy," the little boy whimpered, but snuggled into him enthusiastically.

 

"Aw, honey, Mama's getting Krista up, c'mon, we're going to the zoo today," Kevin told him, trying to sound normal.

 

"The zoo?!" Scott's eyes flew open and a big grin crossed his face.

 

"Yeah, kiddo, the zoo," Kevin smiled. Scott held his arms out and Kevin scooped him up. He set him on the floor and pulled out a pair of jeans and a sky blue jersey. Scott pulled off his pajamas and allowed Kevin to help him dress. As soon as his tennis shoes were on his feet, he jumped up and tore out of the room.

 

"Mama! Mama! Mama!" Scott yelled, running down the hall, Kevin followed at his heels.

 

Mary Beth came out of the nursery holding a happy faced Krista in her arms. "Dada!" Krista exclaimed, holding her arms out for Kevin. Kevin pulled her into his grasp as Scott hugged Mary Beth around the legs.

 

"Aren't you gonna kiss Daddy good morning like you always do, Mama?" Scott asked when his mother patted his head.

 

Mary Beth looked up at Kevin and he looked down at her. "Morning, baby," he whispered, dropping a light kiss on her upturned lips.

 

"Morning, Daddy," Mary Beth murmured, struggling to hold back tears. She handed Kevin a diaper bag. "There are two sippie cups in there, make sure you bring both of them back," she told him softly.

 

Kevin nodded. "Which ones?"

 

"Yellow and red," Mary Beth answered. "All her stuff is in here, all the usual."

 

"Mama, aren't you coming too?" Scott questioned.

 

Mary Beth smiled down at the child, he was too smart for his own good. "Mommy has a friend coming today, and some paper work to look at. You'll have fun with Daddy, okay?"

 

"Okay, Mommy."

 

"Who's coming over?" Kevin questioned curiously, following her down the steps.

 

"A very good friend of mine," Mary Beth told him shortly. "He's coming all the way from Florida."

 

"Brian?!" Kevin questioned, surprise and anger seeping into his tone.

 

"Yes. I need someone, Kev," she didn't look at him as she opened the door. "Someone who knows me, loves me an understands what I'm going through."

 

"So you call my cousin!?" Kevin bellowed. Krista instantly burst into tears.

 

"Jesus Christ, Kevin!" Mary Beth cried, pulling the infant into her arms. "Sh, Krissy, it's okay," she bounced her up and down until she quieted, then handed her back to Kevin.

 

"Brian has been my best friend for twelve years, Kevin," she told him calmly as he gathered the little girl back into his arms. "You know that. If you can run off to your little girlfriend for comfort that you don't even need—allow me to have my best friend."

 

Kevin didn't say a word, just took Scott by the hand and made his way down the walk.

 

"Just bring them back before ten, Kevin," she called. Her voice sounded calm and light but her eyes shot daggers.

 

"Anything you say, Mary Beth," Kevin retorted, slamming his car door.

 

Mary Beth watched as he hastily pulled out of the driveway and took off down the street. She closed the door only when they were out of sight.

 

***

*FLASH*BACK*

 

"Brian! Brian stop!" Mary Beth shrieked, giggling uncontrollably. Brian had her straddled around the waist, tickling her mercilessly. "Brian, please," she attempted a deep breath and tried to stop his hands. "Brian, I can't breath!" Brian gave a short laugh and fell next to her on the bed.

 

The two best friends were in Brian's hotel room, alone for the first time in months.

 

"How'd we sound tonight, Bethy?" Brian questioned modestly after he caught his breath.

 

"Brian, you are pathetic!" Mary Beth rolled her eyes. "You guys are always great!"

 

"Yeah, I guess," Brian sighed, rolling onto his side.

 

"You guess?" Mary Beth giggled, facing him herself. "How many screaming girls were there?" Two thousand, three thousand? And I'm practically deaf! You must have done well!"

 

"Thanks," Brian let a grin cross his face.

 

"No problem," Mary Beth muttered. "So, what's up with you and Leigh Anne that you're not with her tonight?"

 

"We had a small fight, what about you and Kev?" Brian returned.

 

"Same here, I think we just need some time apart," she shrugged. "We'll be okay."

 

"Yeah, Leigh Anne and I will be fine too," Brian sighed. "I love her."

 

"I love Kevin," Mary Beth breathed. "I'm not sure how he feels about me. I know he cares."

 

"He's never told you that he loves you?!" Brian asked incredulously.

 

"No, but we've only been together, what, six months?" Mary Beth squinted, calculating. "Five months, two weeks, three days. Our six month is coming up."

 

"Whoa," Brian murmured. "Just know he loves you, okay Beth?"

 

"Okay B-rok," Mary Beth whispered. She snuggled her head against his shoulder and he slipped his arm underneath her back, pulling her closer. Mary Beth closed her eyes and sighed. She loved being with Brian, they were so comfortable with each other.

 

"Brian?" Mary Beth looked up at him.

 

"Hmm?" Brian sighed.

 

"I love you Brian, you're my best friend," Mary Beth told him, planting a kiss on his jaw.

 

Brian moved his head and looked down at her seriously. "Love you too, Bethy-Mar," he told her. They looked into each others eyes for a few moments.

 

"Can I kiss you?" Brian asked suddenly. "I mean, really kiss you?"

 

Mary Beth smiled shyly. "Yeah, you can," she breathed. She closed her eyes as Brian's lips gently met hers. It started off soft and gentle, but quickly grew more urgent. Mary Beth deepened the kiss as Brian pulled the length of her body on top of his. She wrapped her arms behind his neck as he slipped his hands up the back of her shirt. Mary Beth pulled away as Brian pulled the shirt over her bead and threw it to the floor. Both moved in for another kiss. Brian tangled his hands into her mass of thick curly black hair. She ran her hands down his chest, unbuttoning the pale blue flannel he had on. She slid her hands over the smooth skin of his neck and shoulders, pushing the shirt off his arms. They quickly pulled apart to catch their breath, then moved their lips back together. Brian trailed his hands down the creamy skin of her back, working them in a light massage. He reached the clasp of her bra and, not thinking, began to unclasp it.

 

"Whoa, Brian!" Mary Beth sat up on his stomach and gaped at him. What were they doing?!

 

"Holy cow, Beth, I'm sorry," Brian's eyes were wide and he was just as surprised as she with their discovery—the two had a major sexual attraction towards the other.

 

"We'd better put our clothes back on," Mary Beth's voice was husky. She leaned over the side of the bed and snatched up her shirt, still straddling Brian.

 

"Beth, uh," Brian looked at her hungrily as she pulled the shirt over her head. "Beth, could you eh, um, get off?"

 

Mary Beth looked down at his contorted face.

 

"Oh Brian," she started to laugh as she rolled off him. "Oh my God."

 

Both friends laughed hysterically and comfortably in each others arms.

 

***

*FLASH*FORWARD*

 

"Excuse me, sir?" Brian Littrell came up to a young man in uniform, obviously someone who worked at the airport. "I need a cab to this address," he held out a slip of paper to the boy that held Mary Beth's and Kevin's address on it.

 

"I'm sorry, sir, there aren't any cabs," the guy barely acknowledged Brian, ignoring the slip of paper.

 

Brian sighed. "Okay, I hate doing this, and I also hate being late, but do you know who I am?" Brian had been the only one of the Backstreet Boys who had held a successful solo career. AJ and Nick both released a single album after the break up, but both flopped with bad ratings. "I'm the solo artist, Brian Littrell, and I need a cab to my best friend's house."

 

The young man turned to him, wide eyed as recognition hit him. "Right away, Mr. Littrell," he promised, taking the paper from Brian.

 

"Thanks," Brian muttered. After almost twenty years of being famous, Brian was still surprised with how people reacted when they knew who he was.

 

About fifteen minutes later, he was seated in a yellow New York City cab for the hour long ride to the Richardson's. As they rode out of Newark, New Jersey, Brian sat back and watched the familiar sights roll by. They got into New York City about twenty minutes after that and slowly shuffled through the heavy afternoon traffic. He glanced at his watch, four-o'clock. He sighed and settled back against the cab's upholstery. Might as well catch a few winks, he thought, snuggling against the smelly black leather. When he woke, it was to the driver telling him the fair. Brian quickly gave the man a wad of cash and jumped out of the car, carrying a duffle bag and back pack. The rest of his luggage would be brought to the house the next day.

 

The cab pulled out of the driveway and Brian stared up at the beautiful house. His gaze was averted as the door flew open and the petite, brunette Mary Beth bounded down the steps.

 

"Brian!" she exclaimed. Brian held his arms open for her and she immediately fell into them. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

 

"How's my Bethy?" he whispered huskily. It had been almost two years since they had seen each other last.

 

"She's missed her Brian," Mary Beth whispered. "How's my Brian?"

 

"Feeling horrible for his Bethy," Brian murmured.

 

Mary Beth pulled away slowly and gave him a small smile. "I'm much better knowing someone's going to be with me," she told him.

 

"Always," Brian flashed her a grin. "Can we go inside? I'm dying of thirst."

 

"Course," Mary Beth answered. "The kids aren't here, I had Kevin take them for the day. I was going over paper work. These things are confusing, B-rok."

 

Brian smiled at the sound of his old nickname. "Yeah, they are. The first hearing will be to see who wants what and custody of the kids, etcetera."

 

"God, Brian, I hope he doesn't plan on taking my babies away," Mary Beth felt tears spring to her eyes, but willed them back. "I still love him Brian, I'm not even mad, I just want him back," she whispered. "I don't know what I'm going to do."

 

"You'll do fine," Brian tried to assure, but he knew it was no use. He knew how much pain she was in. Ten years of what she thought was a perfect marriage had gone down the drain with one word—divorce.

 

Mary Beth pushed open the heavy oak door and led Brian into the house. Brian looked around curiously, he hadn't been there for two years.

 

His gaze fell on a framed photograph that hung above the fire place in the living room. It couldn't have been taken more than three months before. It was a family portrait. Kevin and Mary Beth sat on a love seat, one of Kevin's arms were wrapped around her back, pulling her close to his side. In her lap was Scott, and in Kevin's was Krista. They were all smiling like nothing in the world could ruin how happy they were. Some Dad Brian thought angrily.

 

"What would you like?" Mary Beth said softly, breaking into his thoughts.

 

"Eh, you have alcohol?" Brian glanced at her.

 

"We've got a bar here, Brian," Mary Beth rolled her eyes. "What do you want?"

 

Brian gave her a mischievous look. "How about Sex On The Beach?" he muttered with a hidden meaning. "No ‘rocks.'"

 

"Great," Mary Beth chuckled. "Okay, no problem, make yourself comfortable," she motioned to the overstuffed cranberry colored couch. "I'll be right back."

 

"Sounds good," Brian flopped onto the couch and pulled his sandles off, letting them fall to the floor on the side. A few minutes later, Mary Beth returned with two glasses. She handed one to Brian and took a seat next to him. They sat in comfortable silence, Brian rested one arm behind her on the couch while the other one held his drink.

 

"Bethy, I feel so terrible," he told her after a long pause.

 

"Bri, it's not your fault," Mary Beth sighed, setting her drink on the coffee table in front of them. "I'm so happy you came. How long do you plan on staying?"

 

"A month and a half, if that's okay with you," Brian told her. She looked at him with huge eyes.

 

"Oh, thank you, Brian," she breathed. She leaned over a planted a kiss on his cheek. "I love you."

 

Brian wrapped an arm around her after setting his drink on the table. "Anything for my best friend," he told her firmly.

 

Brain and Mary Beth talked all afternoon about her divorce, his divorce, their kids, and their careers. They sat down to a late supper around eight-o'clock, when the front door flew open with a chorus of "Mama's!"

 

Mary Beth smiled at Brian as she stood from the table to greet her children, Brian followed close behind.

 

They entered the doorway to see Kevin setting down the diaper bag. Krista gave her a hug, but Scott stood with his arms crossed, pouting. Kevin slowly made eye contact with Mary Beth.

 

"You told them," she whispered, hugging Krista close to her chest.

 

"Well, since you wouldn't-," Kevin began.

 

"I couldn't!" Mary Beth cried.

 

"Mommy, is it true Daddy's not gonna live with us no more?" Scott whimpered, a terribly sad look on his face. Brian glared at Kevin, then looked down at the little boy.

 

"You probably don't remember me," Brian grinned at Scott. "But I'm your Uncle Brian, and I saw some pretty cool toys of yours in the living room, do you wanna go play?"

 

Scott looked at him hesitantly, then looked to his mother. "Can I? And Krista too?" he questioned timidly.

 

"Yes, you may," Mary Beth whispered. She handed Krista to Brian, giving him a look of gratitude. The three left the room quietly.

 

"Why couldn't you tell them, Mary Beth?" Kevin asked softly after a few moments of uncomfortable silence.

 

"You'll never understand, will you Kevin?" Mary Beth looked painfully into his eyes.

 

"Understand what, Mary Beth?!" Kevin snapped.

 

"I don't wanna let you go," she whispered. "I will never be able to let you go. Never! I love you, I've loved you since the first night we spent together twelve years ago, and I'll love you until the day I die. I took my wedding vows seriously, Kev. You know, ‘‘Til death do us part?' I don't want this to move so fast. I want you back. I'm willing to forgive you, to pretend this never happened. I want us to be in love forever, and let our kids see it until the day we are no longer here. I don't want this divorce, Kevin," the last part came out in a choked sob. She was trying so hard no to lose it. She didn't want him to see how much she needed him.

 

"Mary Beth," Kevin sighed, not even looking at her. "I'm sorry, Mary Beth. I just don't love you anymore." The last part sounded...hesitant—forced.

 

Mary Beth's head shot up quickly, her dark eyes locked with his. She searched his eyes, and found he was serious. Her hand flew to her mouth to stop the sobs, but it was too late. Kevin reached out for her, but she took a step back. "How long, Kevin?" she sobbed. "How long have you been doing this?!"

 

Kevin sighed, he hadn't wanted this question to come up. "One year, Mary Beth."

 

She shook her head slowly, and stepped back again. "How could you wait so long and lie so much? How could you?" she turned and fled quickly up the stairs.

 

"Kevin Richardson," Brian's voice came from the doorway to the living room. "I never thought I'd say this, but you are a bastard. You should probably go, before you cause more damage."

 

Kevin looked to his cousin, his former band mate, one of his best friends. He saw nothing but pure disgust and hatred on his face. "Just...take care of her for me," he muttered, slowly turning around and shutting the door behind him.

 

 

"Mary Beth?" Brian whispered into her dark bedroom.

 

"Go away, Brian," Mary Beth muttered, her voice was muffled into a pillow.

 

"Mary Beth, you kids are tired, they want Mama to put them to bed," Brian told her, slowly stepping into the room. He heard Mary Beth sigh and sit up.

 

"Okay," she answered softly. She made her way to the door. Brian caught her arm and pulled her into a tight hug.

 

Mary Beth wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest.

 

"God, girl," Brian murmured. "I promise you, everything will turn out okay. I promise."

 

"I hope so," she whispered. "I hope so."

 

"Both kids are in bed," Brian told her gently. "They're just waiting for Mom to come kiss ‘em good night."

 

Mary Beth nodded and slowly pulled away. Brian followed her as she went into the nursery, and watched her lovingly tuck the blankets around the half sleeping Krista. She pressed a kiss to her fingertips then slowly touched the babies forehead. She turned on a music box and looked to Brian with a soft smile.

 

"I love my babies," she told him wistfully, passing him on her way out of the room.

 

Brian followed her to the opposite end of the hallway.

 

"Hey there, Scotty," Mary Beth said, stepping into his room.

 

"Mommy?" Scott whimpered. Mary Beth's heart leapt, he was crying. She quickly crossed the room and pulled him into her arms.

 

"What's wrong, honey?" she whispered, running a hand through his hair.

 

"Mommy, I don't understand why Daddy isn't coming home," the little boy wailed into her shoulder, she held him to her tightly.

 

"Oh baby," she sighed, rubbing his back. She looked to Brian. His face was filled with sympathy and compassion and love. She turned back to Scott. "Baby, Daddy," she took a deep breath. "Daddy doesn't love Mommy anymore," she whispered in a choked voice. "But don't worry, you'll see Daddy all the time. I promise."

 

Scott sniffled, his sobs subsiding, and Mary Beth leaned him back on the bed, kissing the tip of his nose. "We'll do something fun tomorrow, I promise."

 

"Night Mommy, I love you!" Scott whispered, snuggling into the blankets.

 

"I love you too, baby," she answered, letting a tear slip down her cheeks. She patted his head and stood up. Brian held out his hand and she took it, closing the door gently behind her.

 

"He sure adores his Mama," Brian told her as they walked down the hall.

 

"I adore my children," she paused. "And my husband," she added slightly under her breath.

 

"Mary Beth," Brian whispered, wrapping his arm around her waist.

 

"Let's go get a drink," she suggested, pulling away from his grasp. She didn't want to be held or touched. She just wanted to be alone---with Kevin---or completely alone.

 

Brian followed her down the steps and into the kitchen, where she cut into a small room that held a billiards table, an electronic dart game and the bar.

 

"Beth, I don't think you need any alcohol," he told her. She ignored him, pulling out three bottles. She mixed vodka, slow gin, and sprite into a glass and downed it quickly.

 

"You want something?" she asked him, starting to poor another glass.

 

"No, and you don't need anymore," he told her firmly, but she started another glass. "Mary Beth, please," Brian strode next to her and took the glass from her hand. He put the bottles away and led her from the room. Mary Beth looked at him, and what felt like the hundredth time that day, she needed to cry. She choked back the sob of anguish and Brian took her into his arms.

 

"I think it's time to get some sleep," he said, leading her towards the stairway.

 

Mary Beth completely agreed, fatigue just washed over her. Brian tucked her into her bed and shut out the lights. "Night princess," he murmured, closing the door, he could find the guest room on his own.

 

***

 

Kevin sighed deeply, throwing his car keys on Amanda's dresser. She wasn't home, she had a huge case coming to a close and was working a lot of late nights.

 

But Kevin's mind wasn't on Amanda, it was on a woman, but not Amanda---Mary Beth.

 

I don't wanna let you go Kevin! I love you, her words rang in his ears. I don't want this divorce. He heard her pain filled voice, he saw the love that had shone in her eyes. He saw her the day that Scott was born, full of undying love, exhausted, but happy and extremely beautiful. They had both been so happy, so full of life. He saw everything, and he regretted this. He regretted how he was making her feel.

 

"But I don't love her anymore!" he said out loud, trying to convince himself. "I don't!"

 

He sighed again and dropped onto the side of the bed. After a few moments of silence, he stood up and stalked from the room. He went into the kitchen and pulled open Amanda's liquor cabinet.

 

Kevin pulled out a bottled of vodka and poured a glass full. Amanda wouldn't be back tonight, and he needed something to take him mind off his wife.

 

***

*FLASH*BACK*

 

 

"Oh, Kevin," Mary Beth breathed, stepping into a private room of one of the most elegant restaurants in L.A. Kevin was right behind her, drinking all her curves. She was wearing a white sequined dress, it was strapless and fell to about mid-thigh. It showed off her dark tanned skin and was breath taking with her dark hair and eyes.

 

"I'm glad you like it," he murmured, circling her waist with his arm. "Happy six months," he whispered into her ear. 

They sat down to an elegant dinner. After they finished dinner, Mary Beth talked him into driving to the ocean for a moonlit walk on the beach.

 

A little more than a half hour later, they stepped out of the white rental corvette and made their way, hand-in-hand, to the black rolling waves of the Pacific Ocean.

 

Kevin watched her as she slipped off her sandals, the wind blew her hair gently around her face. It was then that her realized how much he truly adored her. Her didn't just like her a lot, he had fallen in love with her.

 

She flashed him a devilish smile as she waded into the rippling waves of the high tide.

 

The water was warm and she giggled with delight as it trickled over her toes.

 

"C'mon Kevin!" she called to him, dragging her feet slowly through the sand.

 

"Naw, I don't-," but he was cut off by large puppy dog eyes and a pouty bottom lip. He took a deep breath to calm his heart and nodded.

 

Mary Beth's gaze trailed down his body as he pulled off his dress shoes and socks and rolled the pants of his tuxedo to his mid-calf. She held out his hand for him and he laced his fingers through hers. He walked slowly to her, staring deep into her eyes. He wrapped his free arm around her waist and she brought hers around his neck. Her touch sent shivers down his spine as they moved to the slow romantic beat of the ocean.

 

Kevin looked down into Mary Beth's upturned face seriously. She looked back at him with complete adoration.

 

"Do you know how gorgeous you are?" he blurted out suddenly.

 

Mary Beth felt a flush come to her face and looked down shyly. Kevin untangled his hand from hers and raised her chin. "Mary Beth Christiansen," he murmured, looking straight into her eyes. "I love you."

 

Mary Beth's eyes widened and filled with surprised tears. "Oh God, Kevin!" she let them slip down her face. "I love you too."

 

Kevin smiled softly and pulled her into a deep kiss. Mary Beth wrapped her arms around his neck and sighed against lips.

 

Six months, next to the ocean, under a full moon, Kevin told Mary Beth that he loved her for the first time. Her life could only get better.

 

*FLASH*FORWARD*

*One Week Later*

 

"Jesus Christ, Mary Beth," Kevin muttered into his cell phone. "Pick up the God damn phone!"

 

Four rings…five rings…six rings… "Hi! You've reached Kevin, Mary Beth, Scott and Krista Richardson. We can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, number and a brief message, we'll get back to you! Thanks!"

 

There was a long pause and a beep. "Mary Beth, this is Kevin. I couldn't get a hold of your lawyer, so I decided to call you," he took a deep breath. "The first hearing is Thursday afternoon at three thirty, okay? My lawyer will get yours the rest of the information. Bye."

 

He hung up and sighed deeply. Why was this getting so hard for him? He shook his head as he filed through a few papers. He had to meet Amanda at their restaurant in a half hour, and he desperately needed a break.

 

He opened the door, and to his complete surprise, his wife, cousin and kids stood behind it. "What are you doing here?!" he snapped, it was out of his mouth before he realized what was wrong. He was suppose to have been done at his office at three, and have picked up the kids at three thirty, it was now five o'clock.

 

"Starting already, huh Kev?" Brian snarled.

 

"God you guys, I seriously forgot," Kevin whispered, rubbing his forehead with his thumb and forefinger. "Damn, I have to cancel some plans, hang on a minute."

 

Mary Beth stayed absolutely quiet as Kevin picked up his desk phone and punched in a number. Her gaze wandered to Brian who was holding Scott in his arms and Krista by the hand, the diaper bag was clutched in her own. God he would make such a great Dad, she thought with a faint smile. All traces of that smile faded when she heard Kevin speak a female name.

 

"I know, Manda," he was saying softly. "I'm sorry, but they're my kids. I'll see you later, I promise!"

 

He was quiet for a moment, then let a slow breath escape. "I knew you'd understand, Mandy, I'll talk to you later. Me too, bye."

 

"Don't you have any respect?" Brian demanded hotly, setting Scott to the floor gently.

 

"What do you mean?" Kevin exclaimed, feigning innocence.

 

"Was that your new girlfriend, Kevin?" Brian snarled. "‘I knew you'd understand, Mandy," he mimicked. "Right in front of the woman you promised everything to, how heartless!"

 

Kevin's eyes blazed with anger "You know what—?!"

 

"Stop it now, you two," Mary Beth whispered. The sound of her voice stopped both men in their tracks. "You're by the children," she finished, her voice even softer.

 

She took Scott by the hand, and led him to Kevin, careful to avoid his eyes. Krista let go of Brian's hand willingly and toddled over to her father.

 

"Just by ten, Kevin," she murmured, taking Brian's arm and slowly leaving the office.

 

Kevin sighed and looked down into Scott's face. The young boy looked up at his father with wide green eyes.

 

"Mommy really misses you, Daddy," he told him in his small voice. "She cries all the time."

 

Kevin looked from the little boy to the retreating figures of his wife and cousin. A pang of guilt shot through him. Damn her for not letting go! he thought, frustrated. Damn her!

 

"You know what else, Daddy?" Scott continued, his intelligent little voice couldn't be more serious.

 

"What Scotty?" Kevin murmured, forcing his gaze from Brian and Mary Beth, who were getting into the elevator, to his son.

 

"I think Uncle Brian loves Mommy a lot," Scott told his dad, a grin crossed his face. "He always says he loves her, and he kisses her and holds her a lot. He promises her a lot of things, too."

 

Kevin took a deep breath. This shouldn't bother him, Brian had been miserable for the past two years after Leigh Anne left him because she ‘just wasn't in love anymore,' and Mary Beth had always adored Brian. But she loves you! his conscience reminded. He shook his head as he watched the numbers on the elevator descend to the lobby.

 

"C'mon kids," he sighed, scooping Krista and the diaper bag into his arms. "Let's go to McDonalds."

 

*FLASH*BACK*

 

"I have to get out!" Brian exclaimed, slamming into Mary Beth's room.

 

Mary Beth shot up in bed, her eyes flying open wide. "Wha-what?!" she exclaimed frantically, completely confused.

 

"I have to get out, Bethy! One month of straight interview after interview and show after show, and photo shoot after photo shoot….I can't do it anymore! I'm going nuts!"

 

"Brian…" Mary Beth trailed off, rubbing her eyes. "What time is it?"

 

"Six o'clock," Brian said softly. "Bethy, will you take off with me today? Just once?"

 

"You mean like, disappear?" Mary Beth questioned, barely coming to.

 

"Yeah, just for one day, please?" Brian dropped onto the foot of her bed, his eyes bore into hers.

 

"Won't you get in trouble?" her voice sounded worried.

 

"Probably, but there's not much they can do about it," he answered. "Get showered, c'mon!"

 

"Now?"

 

"We have to leave before the rest of the guys get up," he informed her.

 

"Won't ‘Leigh worry?"

 

"Maybe a little," Brian muttered. "Right now, I don't care. I wanna spend the day with my best friend, not a nagging girlfriend."

 

Mary Beth snickered as she pushed the covers back from the bed. "I wonder if Nick hates me," she commented.

 

"Naw, we still do stuff," Brian smiled, "but he's so caught up with Mandy."

 

Mary Beth rolled her eyes as she got out of the bed. "That girl is such a bitch."

 

"Don't let him know your opinion, I actually think she's better then some he's had in the past," Brian chuckled as she pulled out clothes for the day.

 

"Yeah, I won't let him know," she started for the bathroom. "Coming?" she questioned over her shoulder.

 

"Yeah," Brian followed her into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

  Mary Beth tossed her clothes on the counter and stepped into the shower with her pajamas still on.

 

"So, what do you plan on doing?" she questioned, pulling her shirt off and tossing it over the top of the shower.

 

"Oh, I don't know exactly," Brian answered, sitting on the toilet seat.

 

"Well, there's not too much to do!" she pulled off her pajama bottoms and undies and tossed them over, she paused to hear a reaction.

 

"Shit," she heard him mutter. Then he raised his voice, "We can go down by the boulevard," he suggested. "Hang out, talk, eat, goo-," he voice broke as her bra landed at his feet. "Why do you do that me!?" he snapped. Mary Beth laughed wickedly.

 

"Because I can," she answered modestly, turning the shower on.

 

"As I was saying," Brian continued in a haughty voice. "We can goof around and just hang out for the day."

 

"Sounds good to me," Mary Beth called over the sound of rushing water. "It'll be nice to get away, I agree."

 

"You don't know that half of it!" Brian exclaimed. "You don't have interview after interview, on the days of shows and on the days without show's."

 

"What do you have today?" Mary Beth questioned, rubbing the lavender shampoo out of her hair.

 

"Interview and a press conference, they'll handle it without me," Brian sighed.

 

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Mary Beth's voice was worried once again.

 

"Yeah, the guys'll cover for me," Brian told her. "We do it for AJ all the time."

 

Mary Beth chuckled as she turned off the shower. Brian controlled his breath as her slender, tan arm reached out for a towel.

 

"Turn the light off," she called, Brian did so. A few minutes of silence passed as Mary Beth fumbled in the dark to get dressed.

 

"Okay, you can turn them back on," she told him finally. Brian flipped on the light and turned back to her. She was in blue bell-bottom jeans with a black embroidery of a Chinese dragon on each leg. She was barefoot and had on a sky blue sport bra.

 

"I have to get a tank top out of my bag," she told him, unzipping a jewelry pouch. Brian watched her pull out a belly chain and slip it around her waist. "Could you hook this?" she asked.

 

Brian fumbled with the clasp as Mary Beth applied a bit of eye and lip make-up. "There," he muttered, once it was hooked securely.

 

"Thanks," Mary Beth turned to him and came almost nose to nose, he was standing that close.

 

"You're welcome," Brian whispered. His hands circled her bare midriff and pulled her slightly closer.

 

Mary Beth caught her breath as his lips met hers. It had happened a lot between them lately. The sexual tension was so great, it was practically unbearable.

 

The kiss broke and Mary Beth let her forehead fall to his shoulder.

 

"God I want you," she muttered.

 

"I know the feeling," Brian replied huskily.

 

"We'd better get going, before we get caught sneaking out," Mary Beth pulled away.

 

She slipped out of the bathroom and found a tank top. She pulled it on, along with a light jacket, and grabbed her wallet.

 

"If you even think about bringing that, I'll kill you," Brian joked from the doorway.

 

"I might see something! After all, Mississippi has a lot of cute little shops!"

 

"Good Lord, let's just go!" Brian opened the door and both stepped into the hallway. They glanced around, glanced at each other and made a beeline for the stairway. They were home free!

 

***

 

"You don't know who you're messing with!" Brian laughed hysterically as he and Mary Beth were escorted from the dark theater.

 

"I don't care," the man exclaimed. "Get out!" He gave one final shove that sent Brian and Mary Beth into the warm evening air. Both collapsed to the ground in a fit of laughter.

 

"I can't believe you dumped your coke over the balcony!" Brian choked between boughts of laughter.

 

"I never take a dare I won't do!" Mary Beth giggled, tears streamed down her face.

 

"I just keep hearing that girl scream," Brian roared, rolling onto his side. He attempted to mimic the high-pitched scream of the teenage girl Mary Beth had dowsed.

 

"Me too!" Mary Beth laughed, holding her stomach. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "People are looking at us funny."

 

Brian caught his breath and cleared his throat, pulling his hat low over his eyes. "You'd better give me my sunglasses," he mumbled. Their laughter subsided and she handed him his silver rimmed ray bans from her knap-sack.

 

"Thanks," he flashed her a grin and slipped them on.

 

"No prob," she told him, watching him get to his feet. He held out his hands and pulled her up with ease.

 

"I'm starving," she muttered, placing a hand on her stomach.

 

"Me too," Brian agreed, wiping his eyes that still teared from laughing. "How about Chinese?" He pointed to a little café a short way down the street.

 

"Sounds good to me!" Mary Beth said enthusiastically. She laced her fingers through his and they walked down the street, hand-in-hand.

 

"Two?" a waitress questioned as they entered the restaurant.

 

Brian nodded, wrapping his arm securely around her waist. The girl let them to a table that faced the ocean, or, more accurately, the Gulf of Mexico.

 

"Wow, that's gorgeous," Mary Beth whispered, her gaze fixed on the roll of the waves.

 

"Now half as gorgeous as you are," Brian murmured, reaching across the table to take her hand. Mary Beth's eyes shot up and locked with his.

 

"Oh, Brian," she muttered, gripping his hand warmly. A desire surged through her body as he gently squeezed it back.

 

"You know," Brian paused and tried to clear the huskiness out of his voice. "I-I'm not hungry anymore, you wanna go for a walk?"

 

Mary Beth was no longer hungry either, for food anyway. She nodded slightly.

 

"Let's go out on the beach," Brian suggested, standing. His hand was still tightly clasped in hers. Mary Beth followed silently, her heart was pounding in her throat, she knew exactly what was going on in Brian's head. Her thoughts were the same.

 

Brian led her into the cool night air, pulling her closer to his side.

 

"Let's leave our shoes and my bag here," Mary Beth whispered as they stepped into the lukewarm sand.

 

Brian obliged and both pulled off their sandles and left them and her bag in a small pile on the sand. They continued down the beach, arms wrapped around each other. The sun was setting and the atmosphere was just plain romantic.

 

"Look at that," Mary Beth whispered, pointing down the beach. About a hundred yards ahead of them was a rock cavern.

 

"Let's go check it out," Brian pulled her faster and they reached the cavern in seconds. "I'll make sure it's safe first," he untangled his fingers from her and ducked inside.

 

Mary Beth waited patiently and after a moment, he reappeared. "You gotta see this!"

 

He pulled her into the cavern and she gasped. The pools shown brightly, as remains of the last high tide sparkled in the sunset.

 

"Oh wow," Mary Beth murmured, her gaze sweeping all over the place.

 

"Oh wow is right," Brian breathed, but his gaze was fixed on her.

 

"Brian, I'm not sure..." she trailed off as his eyes fell to her lips.

 

"Can I have you?" he whispered, wrapping an arm around her waist.

 

Mary Beth leaned up and kissed him softly. "Yes," was all she could manage to  reply.

 

But words weren't really needed, she realized, as his lips covered hers fully. Soft she thought. Brian was so soft, gentle. She opened her mouth to let him slip his tongue inside, and he did so willingly, eagerly. She heard a moan, and after a moment she realized it had come from her.

 

"This really isn't right," Brian muttered, as he started to trail his lips down her jaw, using his tongue to taste her.

 

"No," she gasped as he paused to suck on her collarbone. "No it isn't."

 

"But I can't help myself," Brian continued, moving his lips back up her jaw as he slipped his large hands inside her shirt to fondle her breasts. "I want you just once, I don't understand it."

 

"Mm..." Mary Beth didn't know what to say, words were getting harder to form. His hands were reeking havoc on her. He slowly pulled her shirt off and let it fall to the ground, making sure it didn't fall into a tide pool.

 

"I don't understand it," he repeated, letting his hands drift down her back in a gentle caress. "Mary Beth?" he forced her to come out of her reverie. She gave him a questioning glance. "We can't do this all nicey-nice, it'll be too weird later."

 

She looked at him, confused for a moment. "Wha...?" she started, then it dawned on her. They couldn't make love---it would be to emotional.

 

She smiled a devilish sort of smile. "You want aggressive?" she questioned.

 

"I don't care how, I just want you," Brian growled, capturing her lips again, roughly this time. So much about soft and gentle, Mary Beth thought with a rising passion.

 

She clutched to him, digging her nails into the bunched muscles of his shoulders, running them down his back in a hard scratch. Brian moaned, Mary Beth shivered, then pulled at the back of his shirt, silently pleading him to get rid of it. He did without hesitation, dropping it into the same area her shirt was. Then he unclasped her bra, letting her breasts free. He paused a moment, just looking at her and she let him. He caught her eye, which were dark with passion, but he noticed the hesitation. She had an innocence to her.

 

"You haven't done this much, have you," he muttered as he reached out to tuck a curly strand of hair behind her ear. She shook her head no.

 

"I've only ever been with Kevin," she murmured. He stepped closer, and noticed her tremble. With anticipation or nervousness, he didn't know.

 

"Should we not do this?" he asked. Her eyes flew to his, surprise playing in them.

 

"Where did you get the ludicrous idea that I wanted to stop?" she chuckled, then sucked in a breath as his hands came in contact with her hips, pulling her closer. "Brian, I don't wanna stop."

 

"Good," he whispered. "‘Cause I don't want to stop either. But I can't promise I'm going to gentle." He captured her lips, hard. Demanding. Pulled her to him tightly, crushing her into him. One hand sank into her hair, holding her head in place for his attack. He explored her mouth, she explored his.

 

She didn't know how it happened, but the next thing she noticed was that they were lying on the cold sand. Her pants had been removed, all she had left on was her panties. Her skin hurt from where he'd touched her, she was sure he was full of scratch marks from her fingernails. They weren't being gentle, just demanding and forceful.

 

She tugged at his belt, and started to loosen it as he suckled and nibbled on her nipples. Her head fell back and she moaned out loud, but her hands kept moving, pulling the belt out of it's loops. Brian stopped and helped her remove his jeans and boxers. Then slipped her out of her underwear.

 

There wasn't a hesitation she straddled his hips and slowly lowered herself onto him. "Oh my God," she gasped. Her hands were braced on his chest and his were wrapped around her forearms.

 

Brian couldn't even breath, he had been waiting for this for a long time, and couldn't believe it was happening. She felt so good. "Bethy," he managed to choke out. "Baby, look at me."

 

She did, her dark green gaze met his ice blue one with such a deep passion, he wasn't sure what he needed to tell her. Afraid he'd make the look disappear. Every guy hoped for the look that she was giving him.

 

"Oh Brian, this feels..." she scooted forward a little, and her lip caught between her teeth, Brian groaned in the back of his throat.

 

"No words, Beth, none, let's just do this."

 

She nodded, her teeth still holding her bottom lip in place. Brian reached up and put his hand behind her neck, pulling her face down to his. Their lips met gently at fist, but he pulled her closer, and thrust up into her just as he slipped his tongue between her lips. She moaned out loud, letting her nails dig into his chest.

 

His hands slipped to her waist, and with the next thrust up, he pulled her down. She tore her mouth from his and cried out louder. "Faster, Brian," she whimpered.

 

Gladly, he thought and he drove into her again and again.

 

"Brian!...Brian," she kept murmuring between gasps and moans. His breath was ragged, and the only thing Brian could concentrate on was the fact he definitely wanted release.

 

He felt the walls of her womb tighten a bit and he knew she was close he started letting himself go, wanting to hit his release the same time she hit hers.

 

"Brian, I'm cumming," she cried, at the same time she hit, he thrust one more time, breaking also. She stilled completely, her mouth forming an ‘O.' As the sensations stopped, she slowly collapsed on top of him, and he welcomed her with open arms.

 

***

 

Mary Beth let her eyes slowly drift open. She felt Brian's arms around her snugly and his slow soft breath against her neck. Wow, she thought. She turned slowly towards him and pressed a kiss to his lips. Brian's eyes fluttered open and he kissed her back for a moment. He brushed her cheek and slowly pulled back.

 

"I long was I asleep?" he murmured

 

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "I fell asleep too."

 

"We should probably get back," he sat up slowly and she followed.

 

He handed her her bra and tank top and pulled on his boxers and jeans. They finished dressing and slowly made their way out of the cavern. They gathered their shoes and bags and started back up to the boulevard.

 

Mary Beth dug through her bag and found her compass watch. She looked at it, then closed her eyes, shook her head, and looked at it again.

 

"Brian, it's midnight," she whispered, horror filled her voice. They had slept for over four hours and the bus had been due to leave at ten p.m. "They're gonna kill us."

 

Brian looked her full in the face. "For once in my life, I don't care and I'm not worried about it," he told her gently. "I'm finally relaxed and content when you're by my side."

 

Mary Beth reached up and cupped his face in one of her hands. "I definitely agree," she told him, brush just under his eye with her thumb. Brian smiled and pulled her into a deep kiss. She melted against him and kissed him back passionately. She knew what they had done was wrong and she knew it would hurt Kevin if he ever found out. But for some reason, she also knew she wouldn't have to worry about it. It was a one time thing and it released the tension between them.

 

We'd better get back," Brian sighed, pulling away.

 

"I agree," Mary Beth nodded, they walked down the boulevard to the first pay phone they could and called a cab.

 

The twenty minute ride to the hotel was a comfortable, relaxed silence. Brian had his arms wrapped around Mary Beth's waist and pulled securely to his side.

 

"Mary Beth, I love you," Brian told her softly as they pulled up to the hotel. "If you ever need me, or are afraid, or hurt, I will always be there for you."

 

"I love you too, Brian," Mary Beth whispered, kissing his cheek. "And if you ever need me, you'll always know where to find me."

 

***

*FLASH*FORWARD*

 

"Mary Beth, are you okay?" Brian whispered, setting the car keys on

 

"Yeah," she sniffed, pulling open the refrigerator. She took out a gallon of orange juice and retrieved a glass from a cupboard. "I'll be okay."

 

"How are you feeling? Right now?" Brian persisted.

 

"Lonely, betrayed, hurt, confused, angry, jealous," Mary Beth rattled off, pouring herself a drink. "You name it, I feel it."

 

"Oh, Beth," Brian tried to comfort. He hated seeing her so upset. "Lonely is one thing you should never feel, I'm-."

 

"Don't, Bri, I'm not in the mood for your sympathy," she looked up a the clock and saw it was a little before six. "Let's go watch TV," she suggested.

 

"Sure," Brian put the juice back in the refrigerator while she closed the door to the cupboard. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed the answering machine was flashing. One message.

 

"I wonder who called," she murmured, walking to the opposite end of the kitchen. Brian waited by the door for her to get done.

 

Mary Beth pushed play on the machine, it beeped, then started.

 

"Wednesday, April twenty-sixth, five-o-eight p.m.," the mechanical voice belted. Kevin's deep rumbling voice was the last one she expected to hear, but it was there. "Mary Beth, this is Kevin. I tried calling your attorney, but I couldn't get a hold of her. I decided to call you instead, the first hearing will be next Thursday. My lawyer will get yours more details. Bye."

 

Right then, all of Mary Beth's hopes were shattered. He's gonna do this, she thought, sinking into a chair. He's gonna ruin this family.

 

She couldn't even cry, she was so stunned, hurt, confused...just plain crushed. The next she realized was Brian kneeling down in front of her. She looked down into his face. The past ten years had barely changed him. He was still exceptionally handsome, fit, and muscular. He reached up and brushed her face gently.

 

Out of no where, Mary Beth had the urge to kiss him, and she did. She quickly leaned down and caught his lips with hers. Brian froze for a brief moment, then kissed her back slowly. Mary Beth slipped from the chair so she was at the same level at he. Brian wrapped his arms around her waist and she hooked hers about his neck..

 

"Mary Beth, what is this?" Brian murmured as her lips trailed down his jaw to his neck.

 

"I need you Brian," Mary Beth rasped.

 

"Oh God, girl," Brian muttered. I've needed you for years, he thought. He pulled away and lifted her into his arms from their position on the floor.  She brought his mouth back to hers as he carried her from the room. Maybe his dreams would come true.

 

***

 

"Sh, kids, I bet Mommy is sleeping," Kevin whispered, ushering the kids into the house. Both children trudged sleepily in and started for the stairs. Kevin set the diaper bag in the entryway and swooped Krista into his arms. Scott followed obediently up the stairs, helped Kevin put Krista to bed and crawled into his bed himself.

 

"Night, little man," Kevin whispered, closing the door half way. Kevin started down the steps, but once again, he had the undying need to see Mary Beth.

 

He turned slowly on the stairs and quietly made his way back up. He opened the door of their bedroom and slowly stepped inside. What he saw made him freeze in shock. Mary Beth was sound asleep in the bed---with Brian---naked.

 

Kevin studied the situation with unbelieving eyes. Brian was sleeping on his back, head rested against a bunch of pillows. Mary Beth had an arms rested around his waist and her head was on his chest, her hair sprawled out. Brian had one arms wrapped tightly around her slender waist and pulled to his. Both looked peaceful and oddly content.

 

Kevin's head swam with two feelings: anger and regret. He didn't know if he should blow up or leave. Finally he decided to speak his mind.

 

"What the hell is this?" he whispered. Then raised his voice, "What the hell is this!?"

 

Both his wife and cousin woke with a start. Mary Beth shot up in the bed, pulling the sheets with her.

 

"Kevin!" she gasped, a frantic look flashed over her face. She felt instantly sick to her stomach. "Wha-what are you doing in here?!" she pulled her t-shirt off the floor and over her head.

 

"I think I should ask him the same question!" Kevin snarled, nodding to Brian.

 

"That his nothing to do with this!" Mary Beth exclaimed.

 

"It has everything to do with this!" Kevin bellowed. "You couldn't wait until we were divorced?!"

 

Mary Beth's frantic, pain-filled expression turned hard and cold. She was sick of this. All the little things he did to make her think she had a chance. This time she thought she had blown it, she was wrong, it was still him.

 

"Like you ever thought about waiting until we were divorced, Kevin Richardson!" she said in a cold as ice voice. "I hope this hurts you Kevin, I hope knowing this hurts you. Because knowing you've been doing this for a year hurts me a hundred times worse."

 

Kevin didn't know what to say. It did hurt, a lot, and he couldn't imagine her hurting more then this.

 

"Get out of my house, Kevin," she said suddenly, her eyes flashing. "Get out of my house. I can't believe you dared to make me feel guilty. You're the only one at fault here." Her voice was soft and fierce, full of emotion. "Get out, Kevin Scott Richardson, if we didn't have two beautiful children, I would say get out of my life, that's how much I hate you right now."

 

Kevin looked at her in horror. "Beth-," he started.

 

"Out!" she cried, jumping from the bed. She picked up a vase and hurled it at him. Kevin side stepped it and it shattered against the door frame.

 

At that moment, she burst into sobs and Brian pulled her into his arms. Mary Beth melted against him, seeking his comfort. Brian looked to Kevin.

 

Kevin had just one question. "How many years has this been going on?" he said roughly, obvious hatred for his cousin filled his voice and eyes.

 

"I don't understand why you don't understand how much she loves you," Brian whispered, glaring. "But, so you know, this has only happened once before, over eleven years ago."

 

Kevin's eyes grew wide and he opened his mouth to speak.

 

"You'd better get out, Kevin," Brian muttered, not letting him reply. "Just get out."

 

Kevin's mouth clamped shut, he had no choice. He had to leave.

 

***

*FLASH*BACK*

 

"Brian, do you think this is gonna be okay?" Kevin wondered as he handed a wad of bills to a cashier. "It's been less than a year."

 

"Kevin, a year tomorrow, and you two were made for each other!" Brian insisted as the young man behind the counter handed them the small velvet case that held a clear two karat diamond ring set in platinum.

 

"Do you think she'll say yes?"

 

"I know she will," Brian murmured, glancing at his cousin with envy in his eyes. He wished he could find a girl like Mary Beth.

 

"If you're sure, I'm gonna ask her tomorrow night after dinner," Kevin sighed and rubbed the top of the ring case. "It'll be a perfect way to end the evening."

 

"I'd say," Brian grinned as the two walked out of the shop.

 

***

 

"Did you want to come in?" Mary Beth questioned with a small grin as she walked up the steps to the front door of her small house on the outskirts of Orlando.

 

"Yeah, what do you think?!" Kevin sent her a cocky grin.

 

"Okay," she unlocked the door and let them both inside.

 

"You want something to drink?" she asked, flipping on a light.

 

"Sure," he replied calmly, inside he was dying. He was so nervous. What if she says no?! his mind raced. It was something he'd have to risk.

 

"Do you wanna watch TV? Music? Talk?" Mary Beth suggested, handing him a can of Coke.

 

"TV sounds good," Kevin answered, he quickly popped open the can and took a swig.

 

Mary Beth looked him for a moment, he was acting odd. "Are you okay?" she questioned, cocking her head to the side with a small smile.

 

"Yeah! Fine!" he answered a little too quickly. "What makes you think something's wrong?"

 

"You're acting a little funny," she answered truthfully.

 

Kevin forced a smile. "I am?" he said innocently.

 

"You are," Mary Beth chuckled. "Let's go."

 

She led the way to the small living room off the side of the kitchen. She flipped on the TV and took the remote as Kevin settled on the couch. She flipped it on and she flopped down next to him, snuggling her head into the crook of his neck.

 

Kevin pulled her protectively to his side. He loved this feeling. Every little thing about her he loved. How her hair was so curly it was practically untamable, how her eyes always sparkled, the color of her eyes. How her nose crinkled when she was thinking hard, the dimple in her left cheek when she smiled. How she always moved her hands when she spoke and the sprinkle of freckles over her nose and cheeks. How she somehow always knew what he was feeling and what to do to make it better. Everything.

 

 

"Kevin?" Mary Beth whispered, her voiced sounded uncomfortable.

 

"Yeah?" he snapped out of his thoughts and realized he had been staring at her.

 

"What's wrong, honey? Are you okay?" Mary Beth looked at him with wide eyes.

 

"No, Bethy," Kevin breathed, trying to calm his nerves, it was now or never. "I'm not okay," he pulled back a little to look fully into her eyes. "Beth, I'm so in love with you that I'm sick with it!"

 

Mary Beth wasn't sure how to take that, she just looked at him, eyes unblinking.

 

"I'm so nervous," he muttered. Then to her, "Mary Beth, what I'm trying to get at is," he took a deep breath, "will you marry me?" He slipped off the couch onto the floor onto his knee. He pulled the colored velvet box out of his pants pocket and opened it.

 

Mary Beth didn't move, didn't blink, she was in complete, utter shock. She had never expected this.

 

After a moment, she closed her eyes and brought her hand over her mouth.

 

Kevin waited patiently, letting her collect her thoughts and emotions.

 

Finally, she opened her eyes and swallowed. "Yes," she whispered, her eyes were bright with unshed tears. "Yes, Kevin, I will!"

 

Kevin sighed deeply and slid the beautiful ring onto her finger. Then pulled her into his arms.

 

***

*FLASH*FORWARD*

 

Thursday came faster than Mary Beth had hoped, she had talked to Kevin only once to make arrangements for him to the kids over night after the hearing.

 

She didn't want to see Kevin---ever. She wanted the whole thing done, if it had to be over then she wanted it over.

 

Mary Beth got to the court house at 2:30pm, a half hour before she needed to be there. She was dressed in a white business suit. It was a knee length skirt, a white blouse and a white jacket with gold buttons down one side. Her curly black hair was pulled into an elegant french twist and her make-up was done beautifully.

 

"You look good," Sarah Hoffman, Mary Beth's attorney noted as she entered her office.

 

"Thanks," Mary Beth murmured. "I feel like I'm dying."

 

"We have agreements on pretty much everything," Sarah informed her, ignoring the comment she had made. "Mr. Richardson wants you to have the house, all the furniture, a car, a twenty-five hundred dollar child support check a month and anything else that is in the home. All's he wants is one car and fifty-fifty custody of the kids. That would be one week at Mom's house and one week at Dad's house."

 

Mary Beth sat quietly for a moment. "Sounds fair enough," she finally answered.

 

Sarah nodded. "That's all we are going to have to do. Verbally agree and sign a few papers. The next hearing will be the final. I have to tell you, this was the shortest and easiest divorce case I have ever had in my career."

 

"Well, you're welcome," Mary Beth muttered sarcastically.

 

Again Sarah did not respond. It was quite obvious she and Mary Beth didn't get along very well.

 

Mary Beth sighed and followed the petite redhead out of her office.

 

There was no one in the courtroom except three police officers. Sarah led her to a table in the front, and they sat down.

 

Mary Beth folded her hands in her lap, she was determined not to look at Kevin when he came in, but when the door click open, her head shot up. An incredibly beautiful blonde haired woman stepped into the room and Mary Beth's jaw dropped slightly. The woman was wearing a pale green business suit, much like her own. Her hair was lose and her pale green eyes sparkled with so much life. Her full lips were painted red and her eyes held the same green eye shadow, making them stand out even more than the suit did.

 

She was just plain gorgeous, where as Mary Beth was beautiful, but cute. Mary Beth watched with interest, and when Kevin stepped in beside the young woman, her heard sank. Was this his girlfriend?

 

"That's Amanda Delaney, Kevin's attorney," Sarah murmured into Mary Beth's ear. "I've always told her she should model."

 

Mary Beth didn't pay attention to Sarah after she herd ‘attorney,' she was relieved to find that the gorgeous blonde wasn't his new significant other.

 

The hearing went by quickly. Mary Beth wanted it to be over, even if she didn't want her marriage to be over, so she just agreed to everything. Everything was entirely fair to her, except the fact that someone had taken away the love of her life.

 

"This court is adjourned," the judge announced, standing. "Final hearing will be in two weeks."

 

Mary Beth slumped back into her seat, her mind racing. Two weeks, and my marriage is over.

 

"Good job today, Mary Beth, I'll contact you with more details in a few days," Sarah told her as she gathered up her papers and coffee mug.

 

"Good-bye, Sarah," Mary Beth muttered. She stood up and glanced around, noticing Kevin and his attorney were all ready gone. She sighed a picked up her purse. It was just like Kevin to take off right way. She'd have to find him so he could get the kids. Brian was bringing them to the court house.

 

She pushed open the heavy court room doors and rounded a corner. What she saw there made her freeze in horror.

 

Kevin had his tall blonde bombshell of a lawyer back up against the wall. He had his hands on her hips and her were wrapped around his neck. He was kissing her.

 

Mary Beth's arms instinctively wrapped around herself in pain. She watched for a moment before she could muster up the strength to speak.

 

When she did, she was surprised to hear how calm her voice was. "Kevin, your children are waiting for you." Her voice was strong and sure, it betrayed no emotion what-so-ever.

 

Kevin pulled quickly away from Amanda, wide eyed.

 

"M-Mary Beth-!" he started.

 

Mary Beth glared at him. "Save it, ass hole," she stated calmly. This caused Kevin's jaw to slacken farther.

 

"Wait a min-," he tried again.

 

"I said save it!" she repeated. "Our children should be with Brian up front."

 

She stalked ahead of him and Kevin continued to watch, wide eyed.

 

"I-I'll see you at home," he told Amanda softly, planting a kiss on her cheek.

 

"All right, Kev," Amanda agreed, picking her brief case from the floor. She was quite amused by his soon-to-be ex-wife's outburst.

 

"Bye sweetie," he said absently as he started in the direction Mary Beth had retreated.

 

Mary Beth couldn't believe what she had just seen. Not only was that girl the complete three sixty of herself. They were already engaged. She wasn't blind, she had seen the diamond sparkling on the blond's hand.

 

Brian was sitting on a leather bench with her children when she reached the front room. He stood up when he saw the look on her face.

 

"What's wrong?" he said immediately, taking her arm.

 

"I'll tell you later," she answered quietly. "Kevin's coming."

 

"Okay, I have the bags you packed," Brian returned gently.

 

"Mary Beth!" Kevin exclaimed. "Let me expl-!"

 

"Explain!" Mary Beth started to laugh. Brian, Scott and Krista looked at the two, wide eyed. "Explain?! Kevin, I knew you had a girlfriend. I guess I just didn't expect her to be tall, blonde, drop dead gorgeous, a lawyer, and already engaged to my husband!"

 

"Engaged?!" Brian gasped. Kevin closed his eyes.

 

"That's my personal business, it doesn't involve you, Mary Beth," Kevin snapped.

 

"It use to, Kevin," she told him softly. "Every little thing in my life use to be you. Before I leave, can I ask you one question?"

 

"Can I stop you?"

 

"No," Mary Beth told him, satisfaction seeped into her voice. "Here goes. What the hell do you see in her? Or---now think about this---what the hell did you see in me?" With those words, she calmly turned and walked out the double glass doors and out of sight.

 

Kevin was left with Brian and his two kids. "You are---God Kevin!" Brian exclaimed through clenched teeth. "How could you be so heatless?! Take your kids, those are their bags. We'll see you tomorrow night."

 

Kevin nodded mutely and scooped Scot into his arms. But when he reached for Krista, she burst into tears and raised her arms for Brian. Brian looked down at the girl, surprised, as did Kevin. Brian bent down so he was eyes level with the girl. "Krista, baby, that's your daddy," Brian told her softly.

 

Krista's only response was to cry harder.

 

"Krissy, sweetie," Kevin murmured, setting Scott on the floor and again, attempting to pull the child into his arms. After a moment, she allowed him to. "Krista, it's just daddy," he soothed, rocking her gently. Once she quieted, he stood up and took Scott's hand. "Let's go kids," he muttered.

 

"The luggage?" Brian questioned hotly. "You forgot?"

 

"Thanks," he snapped, glaring. He struggled a bit, but managed to get the duffle bag and diaper bag into his hands. "See ya."

 

***

 

"Mary Beth, you gotta calm down," Brian pleaded as he watched her take another angry shot with a basketball.

 

"And you need to leave me alone!" she told him hotly, catching the rebound and attempting a layup.

 

"I'm afraid to," he admitted honestly.

 

"Well, I'm fine," she snapped, dribbling the ball lightly at her feet. "So go."

 

"No," he told her, his frustration getting the better of him. "Mary Beth, you have got to realize Kevin is a jerk! If he loved you, or even had doubts he'd be on your doorstep, begging for forgiveness! I don't see him there, Mary Beth!"

 

Mary Beth let the ball drop and roll away. She looked at Brian, surprised. He wasn't suppose to be cold and mean to her, that was Kevin's job!

 

"That hurt Brian," she mumbled, wrapping her arms around herself.

 

"It's only the truth," he said in a softer voice. "Mary Beth, I know it's hard to believe, but it's over. There really is no chance anymore.

 

He watched a tear slip down her cheek as she replied. "You know, if you're trying to comfort me, you're failing miserably."

 

"The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but if you accept it earlier, it's so much easier to get over!" Brian told her gently. He slipped his hand on the side of her face and wiped away a tear. "Mary Beth," he continued huskily, stepping closer to her. "Mary Beth, I love you."

 

She looked up into his eyes, surprised. This was different from all the times he had said it before.

 

"Not just as a friend, Bethy," he sighed. "I've loved you for years. I need you, Mary Beth."

 

"B-Brian," she attempted to protest, but couldn't find the words. Her leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips, Mary Beth's composure melted. She couldn't deny she felt more for Brian then just friendship, but she knew it wasn't love.

 

"Brian, we can't do this," she whispered as he pulled her body closer to his, wrapping his arms tight around her waist.

 

"Why not?" he looked down into her eyes, pleadingly.

 

"Brian, as much as I do love you, I don't love you like that," she couldn't meet his gaze, she didn't want to hurt him.

 

"I understand that," Brian murmured. "And I don't want to rush this, but just think about it. I know I could make you happy, Beth, I know I could."

 

She looked at him with soft, tear glazed eyes. "I know you could, too, Bri," she told him with a small smile. "I'm willing to chance this, but extremely slowly."

 

"I'm willing to take it at your pace," he answered her simply.

 

Doubt flickered in her eyes, she didn't like this idea at all, she didn't want to lose the best friend she held so dearly to her heart to relationship problems.

 

"Okay, but first, can you wait until I feel ready to date?" she finally decided that taking it at an extremely slow, step by step pace would be the best. And who knew? Maybe she would fall in love with him.

 

"I've waited this long, what's a few more months?" he told her softly.

 

Already he made her feel that only she mattered. It seemed as if he didn't care about anyone except her.

 

"Thank you, Brian," she mumbled.

 

"Now, as friends, would you care to join me for ea nice dinner, you pick the place?"

 

"I-," she broke herself off. Why not? she thought. Kevin can have our children at his new home with his blonde fiancee, I can go out to dinner and have a little fun with my best friend. "I'd love to, let's go get dressed."

 

***

 

Two Weeks Later

 

"This court is adjourned," the judge sighed, slamming the hammer against her podium. Behind her, Mary Beth felt Brian's eyes on the back of her head, but couldn't make herself turn and make eye contact. She didn't want to look at anyone. Her marriage of ten years with Kevin Scott Richardson, former Backstreet Boy, was officially over. Inside, she felt as though her flame of hope had been forcefully blown out.

 

"Thank you, Mary Beth, it was a pleasure working with you," Sarah told her, standing. Mary Beth turned and looked up. Forcing a smile, she shook her hand.

 

"Likewise," she returned softly. She turned back to looking at her hands. Up until the moment the judges mallet had hit the podium, she had prayed and hoped that Kevin would change his mind. Stupid, her conscience hissed. Stupid to get your hopes up. She felt tears slip down her face and cursed them also, but she didn't even attempt to stop.

 

"Bethy?" Brian whispered, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. She looked up into his face. "Com on, sweetie, let's get out of here."

 

Mary Beth obliged easily, standing.

 

"Across the room, Kevin paused in the doorway, watching his now ex-wife. He saw her say goodbye to her lawyer and he saw the tears. It was as if the minute the judges mallet had hit the podium, all the life she had struggled to compose drained out of her.

 

 

He turned away as he saw Brian approach her.

 

"Kevin, sweetheart, are you okay?" Amanda questioned, taking his arm.

 

"Yeah, Manda, I'm fine," he grinned at her. Inside, he shuddered, he had finally realized he had probably made the biggest mistake of his life.

 

***

 

"He'll never know how much I love him," Mary Beth murmured. "He'll never understand." She gazed into the mirror at her tear stained face and red, swollen eyes.

 

"Mary Beth?" Brian's soft voice came from the doorway.

 

"Yes, Brian?" she sighed softly, turning to the door.

 

"Your babies are in bed, and you should probably look at your mail, you've got tons of it," he peered at her through the darkness, but could only make out a shape.

 

"I suppose you're right," she told him, slipping into view. Brian forced a smile, the past three days had been hell on her, and she looked it.

 

"Oh, Beth," he murmured. "My angel. Let's get you a warm cup of coffee and something good to eat."

 

"That actually sounds good," she told him softly, following him out of the room and down the stairs.

 

She sat at the table while Brian poured water into the coffee pot.

 

"Could you make the Irish Cream flavor?" she breathed.

 

"You bet, the mail is next to the phone," he pulled a packet out of a cupboard.

 

Mary Beth heaved a sigh and pushed away from the table. She took the stack of envelopes from the end table and dropped back into her seat.

 

She started sifting through them as Brian pulled out an electric frying pan and a sauce pan. "Grill cheese?" he asked her.

 

"Sounds good," she returned, then started reading the addresses. "Bill, bill, bill, junk, bill, AJ..." she broke off and looked at the envelope in shock.

 

"AJ wrote me," she looked at the next two envelopes. "So did Nick and Holly, and Howie and Katie!" Brian turned to her, surprised.

 

"Open them," he told her, coming to stand next to her.

 

Each one was a card with a cute or funny message on it. They all held pictures. A thirty-two year old AJ and his two year old daughter, Tasha. Howie, thirty-seven, and his wife, Katie and their five kids. Samantha, seven, Corey and Josh, nine, Ana, six, and Alex, three. And a thirty year old Nick with his very pregnant wife, Holly. Inside the cards were little notes of support, sympathy and love.

 

"You guys were always too much," Mary Beth kept whispering as tears slipped down her cheeks.

 

"You're part of the family, Bethy, and we all love you," Brian told her, going back to his preparations.

 

"Look, I got one from the One Last Wish Foundation committee that I'm on," she quickly pulled the letter out of the envelope.

 

"Dear Mary Beth Richardson," she started, reading out loud. "The OLW committee of fund-raising will be having a meeting May twenty-third of 2011. Please, bring ideas, they will be greatly needed." More information and notes from the previous months meeting followed the brief message on top.

 

"Are you going to go?" Brian asked, setting a bowl of tomato soup and cup of hot coffee in front of her. "The sandwich will be ready in a minute."

 

"Yes, definitely," Mary Beth told him. "I love this committee, I'll do anything to help." She stood up from the table and made her way to the calender that was on the refrigerator.  "Kevin has the kids that week. The twenty-first through the twenty-seventh."

 

"I leave the twenty-first," Brian reminded, adding the sandwich to her table set up.

 

"You leave the same day as I give up my kids for a week," Mary Beth said, realization hit her hard. "I-I'll take you to the airport after I drop Scotty and Krista off."

 

"Sounds good, please come eat now, you've barely eaten a thing these past few days," he said, concerned.

 

"Yes, dear," she muttered. The term of endearment caught them both by surprise. She looked at him and he smiled softly.

 

"Just eat."

 

***

*FLASH*BACK*

 

"But...but I can't be!" Mary Beth said, her soft voice full of horror. "The tour, I-I dance."

 

"I'm sorry, Ms. Christiansen, this is obviously not something you wanted," Dr. Rosenhour sympathized. "You're a month along, please, be careful."

 

Mary Beth couldn't believe her ears. She and Kevin had been engaged for six months. The wedding was set for July eighth, more then six months away, and she would be huge by then!

 

We were always careful! her mind raced. Only once we didn't... her thoughts trailed off. Only once, that's all it ever took.

 

How was she going to tell Kevin?!

 

***

 

"Kevin, I uh, have a surprise for you," Mary Beth rehearsed in front of a mirror in the bathroom of a Holiday Inn. "No!" she decided, exasperated. "Kevin," she started again. "Do you remember how we always talked about having children...well," she broke herself off again, tears and anger threatening greatly.

 

"Got damn it, Kevin!" she let the tears pour down her face. "I'm pregnant! PREGNANT! That one time and I'm having your baby!" She slumped against the wall and slid to the bathroom door, heaving sobs. He was never going to understand!

 

"Mary Beth?" a soft, obviously shocked male voice came from her doorway. Mary Beth looked up into his wide blue eyes. From the look on his face and the sound of his voice, she knew that he had heard her.

 

"Oh Brian, what am I going to do?!" she sobbed. "How do I tell him?"

 

Brian reached down and pulled her to her feet and into his arms.

 

"How do I tell Kevin?" she whispered again.

 

"Tell me what?" Kevin questioned, stepping into her room, he looked around the door and saw Mary Beth in Brian's arms.

 

She pulled out of them so fast and looked at Kevin in horror.

 

"What's going on here?" Kevin demanded, quick fierce anger swept through his eyes.

 

"Kev, it's not what you're thinking!" Brian assured him.

 

"What isn't?!" Kevin snapped, glaring at Mary Beth. "I thought you loved me!"

 

Realization hit her hard. "Kevin, it's not that! Bri and I are-."

 

"What the hell is going on, Brian?" Kevin ignored his fiancé and tuned into his cousin.

 

"Kev, Mary Beth and I are just-," he tried.

 

"Bull shit, what is going on?!" Kevin took a step to his cousin.

 

"Kevin, I'm pregnant!" Mary Beth burst out. "With your baby, I-I didn't know how to tell you!"

 

Kevin's fist dropped and he looked at her in complete shock. "Pregnant?" he whispered.

 

"One month, I'm so sorry," she started to sob again.

 

"Oh, Bethy, why are you sorry?" Kevin demanded, wrapping her into his arms and kissing her forehead.

 

"I know how inconvenient this is, I-."

 

Kevin silenced her with is lips. "Never be sorry about something like this. I can't believe it, we're really gonna have a baby?"

 

Mary Beth looked at him with complete adoring eyes filled with tears. "Yes, we are."

 

***

 

"One, two, three, turn, step, kick, seven, eight," Mary Beth called over the sound of the Backstreet Boys' five part harmony. Fatima was out on a personal leave and had left Mary Beth in charge of working with the others on stage, figuring out the positions and steps to cover it fully.

 

She faced the other nine dancers as she did the steps and lost herself in the music. She drifted off into her dream world. So many wonderful things lay ahead of her. Kevin, marriage, the baby, him not being upset about the baby...

 

"Mary Beth, Mary Beth! The stage!" one of the dancers yelled frantically, but it was too late. One second she was dancing on solid ground, the next second, she was falling, fast and hard.

 

She landed with a thump on her back, and was just about to call out that she was okay, when a piercing pain ripped through her lower abdomen.

 

She cried out, shouting Kevin's name, she didn't even know why she wanted him. The tears sprung to her eyes an she reflexively fell all the way back to the floor, clutching her stomach.

 

"Oh my God!" she heard a female voice cry. "Oh, she's bleeding, someone get Kevin, and someone else call an ambulance!"

 

Mary Beth struggled to figure out what the girl was talking about, she wasn't bleeding, her stomach killed, but...

 

"Oh!" she gasped when she finally saw all the blood that covered the lower half of her body. The baby! her mind screamed in horror.

 

"Mary Beth?!" she heard Kevin's deep, frantic voice. "Oh God!" The moment he saw her, he knew what had happened.

 

"Kevin!" she sobbed, the pain was evident in her voice, and she struggled to sit, but Kevin made her lay.

 

"Sh, don't talk," he whispered. He needed to be calm for her.

 

"Kevin, I-I think I lost the baby," she choked out as sobs engulfed her words.

 

"Sh, honey," he murmured, pushing hair out of her eyes. He moved so her head was rested in his lap. "Everything will be fine," he soothed.

 

She tried to answered, but the pain enveloped her, and the world went black.

 

 

*FLASH*FORWARD*

 

"Oh!" Mary Beth sat up in bed, soaked in sweat, she hadn't had that dream in years, her losing the baby. She glanced at the clock, but the bright red digital numbers swam before her eyes, and her stomach churned in real pain. She jumped up from the bed and raced to the bathroom. In seconds, she was leaning over the camode, losing what little supper she had left in her from the night before.

 

When she finally stopped throwing up, she leaned against the cupboard. After a few moment of deep calm breaths, she realized that she felt fine. She had only felt his way three other times in her life---when she was pregnant.

 

"No," she whispered in horror. "I-I can't be!"

 

It wasn't that the idea of a baby appalled her, the idea that it could be Brian's appalled her. She concentrated and tried to figure out when she had had her last period. She couldn't remember. Instantly, she burst into tears. If it was Kevin's baby, it was horrible, and if it was Brian's baby, it was even worse. And it could easily be either of theirs.

 

That's how Brian found her, curled up on the floor of the bathroom, sobbing her heart out.

 

"Mary Beth?!" he exclaimed, worry crossing his face. "It's not even six o'clock in the morning what is wrong?!"

 

"I-I-I," she hiccuped.

 

"You?" Brian prompted.

 

"I think I'm pregnant!" she wailed, burying her face in her arms which were rested on her knees.

 

"Oh no, oh, Bethy," he knelt down in front of her. "When's the last time you...?" he trailed off, letting her fill in the blanks.

 

"I can't remember," she sniffed, trying to compose herself.

 

"Well, we'll," Brian sucked in a breath. "We're going to go back to bed for a while, and when we wake up, we'll go visit the doctor, sound good?"

 

Mary Beth's sobs ceased, and she nodded. She allowed him to help her to her feet and tuck her back into her quilts and pillows, then left her to get more sleep himself.

 

***

 

"You're three months along, Mary Beth," Dr. O' Shloger told her softly. "Just take it easy, you know the routine."

 

Three months, she thought, her stomach sank. It's Kevin's. For some reason, the more she thought about it, having the baby be Brian's didn't seem as horrible as telling Kevin she was three months pregnant with his, right after their divorce.

 

 

"T-thank you, Dr. O' Shloger," she murmured as she slid off the examination table. "I'll call for an appointment for an ultra-sound."

 

"Good girl, tell Kevin congratulations for me, I'm sure he'll be excited," the doctor smiled brightly and Mary Beth forced one back.

 

"Will do, doc," she whispered, closing the door behind her. She was a little surprised that the doctor didn't know about the divorce, but wasn't going to say anything.

 

"How did it go?" Brian asked nervously as she entered the waiting room. Mary Beth glanced around and saw Krista and Scott playing with some toys in the corner.

 

"It went fine," she murmured. "It's Kevin's," she murmured, answering the question he had in his eyes. I'm three months along."

 

"Whoa, Bethy, I-I'm sorry," he sympathized, brushing her cheek. "I suppose we'd-."

 

"Could you take the kids home?" she broke in. "I'm going to make a lunch appointment with my ex-husband and tell him I'm having his baby," her voice was low, and dripped with sarcasm, and Brian's eyes widened at her use of colorful language.

 

"Yeah, I-I'll take the kids home," he told her gently. "Uh...good luck." He kissed her cheek and gathered the kids and their toys. "See you in a couple hours, okay?"

 

Mary Beth nodded as she watched him disappear into the elevator. She pulled out her cell phone and dialed Kevin's secretary. "Mr. Kevin Richardson's office, how may I help you?"

 

"Stephanie?" Mary Beth murmured.

 

"Mary Beth, hello!" Stephanie answered brightly. "How are you doing, baby?" Mary Beth had to smile, Kevin's secretary was almost sixty years old, and was the sweetest, cutest lady she had ever met.

 

"I'm pretty good, tell me, does Kevin have any lunch plans?" she asked.

 

"No, none what-so-ever," Stephanie told her.

 

"Could you put me through? I have something very important to discuss with him."

 

"Sure, girl, just a moment," Mary Beth was put on hold and a few moments later, Kevin picked up the phone.

 

"Mary Beth?" he asked curtly. Mary Beth flinched, he had never in his life sounded so cold and informal.

 

"Kevin," she whispered. "Kevin, I have something really important to discuss with you. Could-," she took a deep breath and swallowed. "Could we please meet somewhere?"

 

"Is it that important?" he sighed, she could hear him clicking away on his computer.

 

"Yes, extremely," her voice cracked a little bit, but she held her ground. "Kevin, I wouldn't be asking this if it wasn't. I know you don't really care to see me, and I feel the same way. But it's that important."

 

Kevin heard the urgency in her voice and finally agreed. "I'll meet you at that Italian restaurant on fiftieth avenue, you know what I'm talking about?"

 

"Yes," she answered. "When?"

 

"Twenty minutes okay with you?"

 

"Sounds good, see you there," she hung up her cell phone before he could change his mind and quicky left the hospital. She hailed a cab and found herself standing in front of her least favorite restaurant in New York City. He'd have to do this to her, wouldn't he? Oh well, she wasn't here to eat.

 

She went inside and sat down on a leather bench, waiting for Kevin to arrive. He was five minutes late, and greeted her with a curt nod, not even a ‘hello.'

 

They got a table for two and Kevin placed his lunch order. Once their drinks were served, he started interrogating her.

 

"What's so important, Mary Beth?" he murmured, sipping a mixed drink. Mary Beth took a large gulp of water. Two months ago, this would have been happy news, now, it was horrible news.

 

"Please, don't be mad at me," she started. "I really, I didn't mean for this to happen."

 

"Mary Beth, get to the point," he growled softly.

 

"Kevin, I'm-," she forced herself to look him in the eye. "I'm pregnant."

 

Kevin's jaw dropped and he slowly shook his head. "No...no," he muttered. "You can't be. Wait a minute, it might not even be mine, it could be Brian's!"

 

Mary Beth choked back tears. I'm not going to cry, I'm not going to cry she willed herself.

 

"It can't be," she whispered.

 

"Why the hell not!?" Kevin bellowed. Conversation around them stopped and people turned quizzical looks on them.

 

Mary Beth let a tear slip down her face. "Because I'm three months along Kevin. You know, a little more than a month ago you were still telling me you loved me more than anything. This baby is yours!" With those words and stifled sobs, she fled the restaurant. Kevin could only sit, dumbfounded.

 

***

 

"Damn it!" Kevin exclaimed, slamming the door behind him as he entered his and Amanda's apartment

 

Amanda appeared a moment later, a stricken look on her face. "Is there something wrong?" she questioned softly, watching him drop his brief case and push his shoes off his feet.

 

Kevin grunted in response. Wrong? he thought. That's not even the word for it.

 

"Kevy?" she asked again.

 

Kevin sighed at the sound of her insistent voice. He pulled open a cupboard and took out a fairly large glass. "Yeah," he muttered. "Something is wrong, very wrong." He sighed again and pulled open the liquor cabinet. He took out a bottle of vodka and poured it into the glass—full.

 

"Kevin, what the hell?!" Amanda demanded.

 

"She's pregnant!"Kevin snapped, not even looking at her. "She is fricken three months along!"

 

"Who...?!" Amanda started, then trailed off. "No!" she cried when it hit her. "Kevin!"

 

"I'm sorry, Amanda," he said, taking a swig of the vodka.

 

"It might not be yours!" Amanda tried to reason. "You said she slept with Br–."

 

"Yeah, I thought of that already," Kevin muttered, he could already feel the alcohol warming his body. "But she's three months along, Brian's only been here for one."

 

"You bastard," Amanda mumbled so he couldn't hear her. "You promised me that you weren't sleeping with her!" she accused loudly.

 

Kevin heaved a sigh for the third time, closing his eyes to block anger and frustration. "Amanda, I was staying late at the office, canceling plans for ‘diner meetings,' and explaining odd credit card bills. How was I suppose to not sleep with my wife and pretend that everything was all right?"

 

Amanda let her composure droop a bit. How could the bastard be so stupid? she thought wildy. He's going to mess up everything I worked for! Out loud she murmured. "I suppose you're right."

 

Kevin nodded, his back still towards her, and took another sip of his drink.

 

"So what are you going to do?" she muttered.

 

"I'm going to have a baby with my ex-wife, Manda," he muttered. "If you don't want anything to do with this, I completely understand."

 

Amanda clenched her fists. "Of course I'll be there for you, Kevy," she said in a sweet-as-honey voice. Kevin let out yet another sigh and finished off his glass of liquor. Then turned to her, a small smile on his face.

 

"Thank you Amanda," he murmured as he pulled her into his arms. "I knew I could count on you," he kissed her deeply.

 

***

Three Days Later

 

Ring!...Ring!...Ring!...

 

"Hello?" Mary Beth sighed breathlessly into the receiver of her cordless telephone.

 

"Hello," came a soft, female voice. "Mary Beth, is that you?"

 

"Yes," Mary Beth answered, confused. "Who's this?"

 

"This, oh I hope I'm not interrupting anything, Mary Beth, this is Leigh Anne," came the soft, tear strained voice of the thirty-seven year old woman.

 

"Leigh!" Mary Beth exclaimed, quite surprise, but delighted to hear the voice of a former friend.

 

"Hi, sweetie," Leigh Anne answered. "Listen, I do wanna talk to you, but do you think you could put Brian on first? It's kind of an emergency."

 

"Oh, of course!" Mary Beth covered the receiver. "Brian!" she called. "Brian come here!"

 

Brian entered the kitchen a couple moment later, Krista on his back, held by one arm, and Scott held with his other one. "What?" he questioned, smiling happily.

 

"Phone is for you," she handed the phone towards him as he set the kids to their feet. He gave her a questioning look as he took the phone from her outstretched hand. She just shrugged.

 

"Hello? Brian speaking," he said softly.

 

"Brian," Leigh Anne could no longer hold her composure, she couldn't believe this was happening. "Brian..."

 

"Leigh?!" Brian recognized her voice instantly. "Leigh Anne, what's wrong?!"

 

"Brian, it's Lexi...she...she," Leigh Anne swallowed more tears. "Brian, Lexi's in the hospital."

 

"What happened?!" Brian's voice broke his normal range of anger. "What the hell happened to her, Leigh?"

 

"Brian, she...she," Leigh Anne broke off into sobs again. Brian noticed he wasn't being particularly gentle with her, and it was obvious that what ever was wrong, she was struggling too.

 

"Leigh, take a deep breath," Brian instructed, trying to calm his swirling imagination. "Calm down, baby, tell me what happened."

 

"Brian, she's been so tired lately, she's just seemed ill, so I took her for a check up," Leigh Anne started to calm down. "Brian, they diagnosed her with Leukemia."

 

Brian's heart actually stopped beating for a moment. "No," he murmured. Out of all the cancers that had been demolished by technology. The most common childhood disease was still incurable; Leukemia. And now, his daughter had it. "God, no," a tear slipped down his face. "God, Leigh. Not Lexi."

 

"Brian, I need you here, she keeps asking for you, and I don't know what to do," Leigh Anne whispered, tears threatening again.

 

"I'll get on the earliest plane I can," Brian finally looked up from the floor and into Mary Beth's wide eyes. "I will call you when I have a flight."

 

"God, thank you Brian," Leigh Anne breathed. They quickly said their good byes.

 

Brian hung up the phone and turned to Mary Beth, who looked back at him with large, curious eyes. "I gotta leave early," he said softly, trying not to let tears fall. He averted his eyes from hers, they settled on Scott and Krista. A bit of pain hit his heart, he didn't want to leave, and at the same time, he couldn't wait to leave. Now his own daughter needed him...

 

"Mary Beth, Alexis was diagnosed with Leukemia," Brian said, his voice was heavy with emotion. He looked back up in time to see her cover her mouth with her hand.

 

"Oh, Brian," she murmured.

 

Brian held up a hand as he flipped the phone back on. "Go play with the kids for a while, I've got to get a plane."

 

Mary Beth nodded, but she had her own planning to do. She went into the next room, taking the kids with her. She settled them into a movie and picked up her cell phone. She dialed the familiar digits of Kevin's cell and sat down on an overstuffed chair. Her heart started to race. She hadn't talked to Kevin since the restaurant incident, but she needed him to take the kids, so she could take Brian to the airport.

 

"Hello, Kevin's phone," a sultry female voice answered. Mary Beth gulped. This must be Amanda, she thought with a sinking feeling in her stomach.

 

"Hello," she answered, making sure her voice was firm and controlled. "May I speak with Kevin, please?"

 

There was a pause. "Who is this?" Amanda questioned.

 

"I should be asking you that," Mary Beth muttered coldly. "Let me speak with Kevin." 

There was a sharp intake of breath, Mary Beth thought she was going to say something else, but suddenly Kevin's deep voice filled her ear.

 

"Hello?"

 

"Kevin," Mary Beth said quietly, God how she loved the sound of his voice. "Kevin, I need you to do something for me."

 

"Ah, God, Mary Beth, what the hell is this?!" Kevin snapped, his voice darkening.

 

"Brian's little girl, Alexis?"

 

"Yeah," Kevin prompted.

 

"She was diagnosed with Leukemia today, Kev," Mary Beth murmured. "I was wondering if you'd take the kids a couple days earlier so I could drive him to the airport when he needs to go." 

"Hell yes!" his voice sounded stricken. "I'll be there in an hour, have them ready."

 

"I will, I'm sure he'll thank you for this," Mary Beth murmured.

 

"I wanna talk to him when I get there," Kevin added quickly. "I'll be there a.s.a.p."

 

"All right."

 

***

 

"The earliest plane out is for tomorrow at ten in the morning," Brian muttered into the room. He had been on the phone since Leigh Anne called, and in that time, Mary Beth had managed to get the children's stuff ready for a week and three days at their father’s house. They were still settled into their movie.

 

"That's the best they had?" Leigh Anne spoke softly on the speaker phone. Mary Beth's heart went out to the woman. She sounded so fragile.

 

"I'm sorry, Leigh, it's the soonest I can get out," Brian's voice choked up, and he paused to clear it. "I'll land at California Central at two. I'll take a taxi to Mercy Hospital. I should get there around three or so."

 

"Will you call me when you land?" Leigh Anne pleaded. "Brian I'm so lost, I think I need someone as much as she does."

 

"I know how you feel, Leigh Anne, I'll call you when I land," Brian sighed, rubbing his eyes. "Listen, try and get some sleep, okay?"

 

"All right, Brian?"

 

"Yes?"

 

"Lexi wants to speak with you," Leigh Anne murmured.

 

"Put her on!" Brian exclaimed quickly.

 

There was a shuffling of the phone and soon a small voice questioned. "Daddy?"

 

"Oh, Lexi, baby!" Brian said, trying to control his voice.

 

"Daddy, I'm scared," Alexis murmured.

 

"I know baby, I know," Brian breathed. "I'm going to be there tomorrow to take care of you and Mommy, okay?"

 

"You promise?" she whimpered.

 

"On everything I have," he declared. "I'll be there around supper time, okay?"

 

"All right Daddy," she sounded pleased. "Mommy says it's bed time, now. So I gotta go, I'll see you tomorrow."

 

"Night, princess, sleep tight and sweet dreams," Brian murmured. "Tell Mommy good night for me too."

 

"Okay, night!" the phone clicked and after a moment was replaced with a beeping noise. Mary Beth stood from her spot at the table and pressed the ‘off' button. Then she turned to Brian.

 

He didn't look at her, his eyes were on the floor and his left hand was rubbing the back of his neck. She didn't know what to say, she hurt for him. "Brian," she murmured. He looked up quickly, their eyes locked. "Oh, Brian." She quickly slipped her arms around him in a crushing hug, and he quickly did the same. He was definitely going to need her until the next morning.

 

"I have Kevin coming for the kids," she told him softly, as the hug broke. "I asked him to take them a couple of days early, so I could drive you to the airport.

 

"Beth, that wasn't nece—," but she broke him off.

 

"Yes. It was, no complaints," she scolded. "Go take a warm shower. Kevin should be here soon. He said he wants to talk to you."

 

Brian nodded. "Would you put a pot of coffee on?"

 

"You bet, now go, sweetie, okay?"

 

Brian looked at her for a moment. Sweetie, he thought. Dear. I've got to be winning her over. "All right, I'm going."

 

Mary Beth watched him disappear and heaved a sigh. She turned to the cupboards and starting pulling out the stuff to make coffee. She left the kitchen once the pot was hissing, and went into the living room to check on Scott and Krista. Both were curled up on the couch. Scott was in an upright position with a pillow under his arm that was resting on the armrest, and Krista was sprawled out, her head in his lap. Scott's other hand was playing with her wisps of curly black hair. They looked so adorable that she had to chuckled to herself. Suddenly a pair of warm, strong hands settled on her shoulders. She stifled a gasp and look behind her. It was Kevin. He was grinning at the sight in front of him---their children.

 

She didn't know what to do. He was behind her so intimately, and he felt so warm, that for a moment, she felt like they were a family again. Not thinking, she leaned back against him for support. Kevin gave her shoulders a quick squeeze before pulling completely away.

 

Why do I do that? he thought to himself, as he noticed Mary Beth take a deep breath to calm the emotional outburst he read in her eyes.

 

"Why don't we talk?" he whispered, so the kids wouldn't realize he was there. "I need to discuss something with you."

 

Mary Beth nodded and motioned for him to go towards the kitchen. "Where's Brian?" he asked as he led the way.

 

"I told him to take a warm shower," she said. Her voice sounded husky.

 

"I guess that would be a good idea," Kevin pulled out a kitchen chair and plopped down in it. 

"Would you like a cup of coffee?" she asked softly, ignoring his comment. She pulled a coffee cup off a hook above the stove.

 

"Sure," he replied, and she took another one down, fixing them both a cup. Leaving hers black, but putting a spoonful of creamer and a half of spoonful of sugar in his, just the way he liked it.

 

She set the cup in front of him, and took the seat across from him. They sat in silence, neither knew exactly what to say.

 

"I'm sorry," Kevin said finally.

 

Mary Beth looked at him with wide eyes. "For what," she whispered, all though she disguised the hope out of her voice, she couldn't get it out of her eyes.

 

For everything, Kevin thought to himself. For this whole thing, I don't know what I was thinking... He let his thoughts trail off, and locked eyes with her. "For the way I treated you in the restaurant."

 

"Oh," Mary Beth's eyes dropped. "I guess that could have been expected. I should have told you to meet me in a more secluded place."

 

"No," Kevin argued. "I had no right to treat you like that."

 

Mary Beth said nothing, just took another sip of coffee.

 

"I'll be there for you throughout the whole thing," Kevin sighed. "I want to know when appointments are, and names you're thinking of."

 

Mary Beth felt a small amount of relief flood through her. "All right," she agreed.

 

"I want a phone call when you go into labor, too," Kevin added after a moment of silence.

 

She didn't meet his eyes, she just nodded. "Not a problem."

 

"What more do you want me to do, Mary Beth?" Kevin demanded, knowing she didn't care for the arrangements.

 

"Kevin, I don't want to get into this," she sighed, looking up at him. "If you're willing to do that much, I can't complain, can I?"

 

Kevin looked away from her dark eyes. Both looked up when they heard a creak on the floor boards. It was Brian.

 

"Hey," he said softly, nodding slightly at Kevin. Both adults at the table rose.

 

"Hey, Bri," Kevin returned. "Look, I'm really sorry—."

 

Brian held up his hand. "Thanks, I am too. But I don't want sympathy right now."

 

Kevin nodded his understanding. "I guess I'll help you get the kids ready," he whispered, looking over to Mary Beth. She agreed and quickly started towards the living room, Kevin and Brian on her heels. Both kids were in the same position as before, and again, Mary Beth didn't feel she had the heart to move them.

 

"Guess who's here, kids?!" Brian exclaimed, his voice startled all four people.

 

Krista was the first to notice Kevin. "Daddy!" she cried, jumping off the couch and flying to her fathers arms. "Daddy!" she buried her face into his neck as he scooped her up. Scott was soon to follow, wrapping his arms around Kevin's legs.

 

"You guys are going to stay with Daddy for a little bit, okay?" Mary Beth murmured, watching the trio hug and kiss.

 

"Really?!" Scott said excitedly.

 

"Truly," Mary Beth couldn't help but smile. The three adults quickly packed up the kids and got them into their shoes and coats. Within ten minutes, they were all heading out to the car.

Kevin and Mary Beth buckled in their kids and Kevin got in the divers seat. "I'll have them back in nine days, Mary Beth."

 

Mary Beth nodded, gazing longingly at the back seat where her babies sat. "Of course, if they get lonely, have them call me."

 

"All right, Mary Beth," Kevin nodded as he slammed the car door. As he backed out of the driveway, Brian stood up and slipped his arm around Mary Beth's waist, both waved as Kevin drove down the street.

 

"I think we should get some sleep," she suggested after a couple of moments.

 

"I think that sounds like a good idea," he agreed. They started back into the house, their arms still wrapped around each other.

 

"Did you wanna sleep by me, tonight?" she questioned as they ascended the steps.

 

"If it's okay with you, I'd love it," Brian told her, flipping off the hallway light as she flipped on her bedroom light.

 

"I wouldn't ask if it wasn't okay," she chided, puling open a dresser drawer. She slipped her jeans to the floor while Brian pulled off his shirt. He turned slightly so he could watch her out of the corner of his eye as he pulled his jeans off.

 

She raised her shirt above her head and Brian gulped, forcing his gaze away. After another moment, he had to turn back. This time, his eyes widened. Her back was to him, and she was braless, rummaging through a drawer.

 

"You asked for it," he growled, stepping behind her and running his fingertips down her spine. Mary Beth froze at the sound of his voice and shivered when he touched her. She turned her head slightly to look up into his big blue eyes.

 

"Brian," she murmured.

 

"Sh," he hissed gently. "I need something to take my mind off my daughter...I think you can provide those activities." He leaned down and captured her lips.

 

***

*FLASH*BACK*

 

 

"Oh, Amanda!" Amanda Delaney looked to her best friend Marsha Carls from her spot in the cafeteria. It was her Sophomore year of college.

 

"What?" Amanda questioned as the African American girl sat next to her.

 

"Did you hear last night? Rather, did you see last night?!" her friend chattered excitedly. "Kevin Richardson and Brian Littrell of the Backstreet Boys are engaged!"

  Amanda started to choke on the milk she was drinking. "Kevin?!" she demanded, her face growing bright with a red color. "Are you serious?! To who?" she exclaimed, wiping her mouth.

 

"That dancer he's been dating for the past year, Mary Beth, I think her name is," Marsha chuckled at Amanda's reaction. She had been obsessed with Kevin for four years. She was always declaring that, even though they had never met, she was going to marry him. The scary thing was, she was always serious about it. "Guess that kinda ruins your wedding plans, huh?" 

Amanda snorted. "Naw, she's just a cover up," she joked, inside she was fuming mad. "I'll still marry him." He might not know it yet, but I'll do anything I have to to get him. Even if it means killing his wife...

 

***

 

Kevin was nervous. This would be the first time Amanda would meet his children. Every other time he had had his children over night, he had put himself up at a hotel with them. Just for safety precautions, besides, he wasn't sure if he was ready for Amanda to meet Scott and Krista.

 

He knew Amanda was excited, she had been raving about it for days. She was too excited, and Kevin definitely had no clue what the kids were gonna think of her. Would they get attached? Would they like her? Did he want them to like her? He had no clue. He didn't know if it would take away the kids' respect for their mother, and that, he did not want to do.

 

He sighed shakily as he pulled the car into the parking space for apartment 316. He looked up at the large grey building. The first thing he had to do was talk Amanda into buying a small house, it would be much more comfortable. She lived in a two bedroom apartment with a kitchen, dining room, living room and full bath. It was nice, very nice. But not for a family.

 

He opened the back door of the car and helped Scott out of his seat belt.

 

"Do you think you can carry a bag, honey?" Kevin asked, needing him to take the small diaper bag. Scott nodded enthusiastically and held out his hands for the floral print diaper bag. Kevin grinned and helped him slip it onto his shoulder before turning back to his two year old daughter. The small, beautiful girl stared at him with her mothers dark brown eyes. She's gonna look just like Beth, he thought, never thinking he could be more proud that his daughter would be so beautiful. He sighed at his thoughts, leaned in to unfasten her car seat and pulled her out of it. 

He gathered the rest of the bags in his free arm and motioned for Scott to follow him into the building.

 

"Where are we, Daddy?" Scott questioned, his curiosity peeking as they stepped onto an elevator. 

"This is Daddy's new home, Scotty," Kevin explained half heartedly. "For awhile, anyway. I've also got someone I want you to meet."

 

"Who?!"

 

"Her name's Amanda, you'll like her, I promise," Kevin said, not sure whether he was assuring himself or his four year old son.

 

"Okay," Scott whispered.

 

A few seconds later, the doors dinged open, and Kevin led Scott out into the long hallway, still keeping an almost sleeping Krista in his arms. They made their way down about half the corridor, before stopping in front of room 316.

 

Kevin tapped lightly. "'Manda, it's me," he called, making Krista straighten up with a start. "I'm sorry, precious," he mumbled, nuzzling her with his nose.

 

"Kevin!" Amanda smiled brightly as she opened the door. Instantly, the smile widened when she saw his two kids. But they're part of her too... a nagging voice in the back of her head muttered---the smile wavered.

 

"Hi, 'Manda," he grinned as his heart started thumping. "This lil' guy right here is Scotty, and here," he turned a bit so Amanda could see Krista's face. "This is Krista."

 

"Why, hello there, Scotty," Amanda murmured, dropping to the small boys' level. "How are you?"

 

"I'm good," Scott mumbled, his fingers immediately flew to his mouth as his normal shyness with strangers took over.

 

"Oh, he's adorable," Amanda breathed. "He looks just like his daddy."

 

"Yeah, I do, don't I?" Scott questioned happily. "Mommy always says Daddy's gorgeous," his green eye twinkled even though the smile on Amanda's face slipped a little.

 

She forced the smile back up and ushered the two boys into the house, taking one of the duffle bags from Kevin. "She's really beautiful, Kevy," she murmured, looking at the girl who was now quite alert and looking around with large, curious brown eyes.

 

Kevin grinned. "I know she is," he answered, planting a kiss on her cheek. "Do you wanna go by Amanda?"

 

Krista looked from her father to the mysterious blonde that had come out of nowhere. All of a sudden she was being handed to a strange lady, and she didn't like it one bit. They were definitely going to know this.

 

Amanda snuggled the baby into her arms as if it were her own, she cooed and tapped Krista's nose with the tip of her perfectly manicured finger, at that instant, Krista burst into wild tears. "Mommmeeeee!" she started to sob, trying to break out of Amanda's grasp. "Mommmeeeee!" Amanda's face paled and she quickly handed Krista back to Kevin who had taken on a slightly embarrassed look.

 

"Sh, baby, it's okay," he tried to sooth as Krista repeated 'Mommy' over and over, while nestling her face into Kevin's shoulder and wrapping her arms around his neck.

 

"What's wrong with Krista?!" Scott demanded, stomping his foot as his little sister continued to cry.

 

"Krista got a little scared, honey, she'll be okay," Kevin tried to assure. "Why don't you and Amanda find some cartoons on Toon Disney?" he suggested, looking at Amanda with apologetic eyes.

 

Scott warily eyed Amanda who forced a smile. "How 'bout it, kiddo?" she questioned, holding out her hand. Scott looked up to Kevin for approval, when his father nodded, he took Amanda's hand and she led him to the next room.

 

Kevin continued to sooth the sobbing girl in his arms as he walked to the room that he and Amanda had furnished with a crib for Krista, a toddler bed for Scott and a rocking chair for late night nightmares. It also held a single dresser with a music box and lamp sitting on it. He settled into the rocking chair and started singing some lullabies that Mary Beth had taught him. After a few, such as Hush Little Baby, Don't Say A Word and Rock-a-bye Baby; Krista had fallen into a deep slumber, still sniffling every once in a while. He silently thanked God that Mary Beth already had them in their pajama's as he slowly lay her in the crib on her stomach. He pulled the blanket over her and watched adoringly as she curled up into them.

 

He sighed and flipped on the lamp before turning off the overhead light. Then he went out into the kitchen to get some water. He entered the doorway of the living room, and his stomach churned. God, this isn't right, his sub-conscience exclaimed. He looked at the young, gorgeous blonde snuggled up with his dark haired little boy. He quickly swallowed half the glass of water before clearing his throat, making Amanda and Scott look at him.

 

"Daddy!" Scott squealed, flying across the room. Kevin put down his glass and scooped him up into his arms. "I'm tired," he mumbled, burying his face in the crook of Kevin's neck.

 

"Okay, baby, let's get you to bed," Kevin growled playfully, hoisting Scott high in the air and tickling him with his long fingers. Scott squealed with laughter, and Amanda chuckled softly at the two's antics. Kevin flashed her a genuine grin as he tucked Scott under his arm and headed for the bedroom, as he neared it he stopped playing, and picked Scott up in his arms normally. "We gotta be quiet," he murmured, putting a finger to his lips. "Krista's sleeping," he finished. Scott nodded mutely as his dad tiptoed into the room. He set Scott to his feet and pulled back the blankets on the small bed. Scott grinned and crawled up onto it, letting Kevin pull the blankets back over him.

 

Once settled in, he raised his arms, indicating for a kiss goodnight. Kevin obliged with a smile. His children were beautiful-inside and out. He pulled back and watched as Scott turned onto his side and curled up into a ball, just like he had done since he was an infant. He brushed a lock of dark hair off his sons forehead and straightened up. He looked to the doorway where Amanda looked at him, a small hint of adoration in her eyes.

 

As he joined her in the hallway, she spoke. "You're very good with your kids, Kev."

 

"Thanks," he smiled, closing the door so it was open only a crack. "They are my babies, you know." He paused in speaking as he slipped his arm around her waist to lead her into their bedroom. "I'm sorry about Krista, I forgot that she had such a hard time with strangers," he lied. He didn't know what happened with Krista, she usually hammed up any person she met, she was definitely not a shy child.

 

"Hey, that's okay," Amanda shrugged it off with another one of her fake smiles. "She's probably in there thinking 'what the hell is Daddy doing with this strange woman,'" she chuckled lightly. The next thing she forced out. "I feel horrible about messing up your marriage, Kevin."

 

Kevin choked on his spit, and started to cough. Holy shit, he thought. What the hell was that for?

 

"I mean it," she mumbled, turning away so he couldn't read that she was lying. She pulled open her dresser drawer and took out a neglige.

  "Amanda..." Kevin trailed off. He didn't know what to say. If she hadn't wanted to mess up his marriage, why had she kept pursuing when he had told her he was married? He thought back to how they had met.

 

Amanda's major was in Entertainment Law, her minor was in Divorce Law. He had met her when one of Jive's clients was having some legal problems. Actually, she had been his defense lawyer. They had gone to a couple dinners to discuss business, then she had started to pursue...and didn't stop when Kevin had told her he was happily married.

 

The more he thought about it now, the more he realized she had practically forced him into dates, and the occasional 'sleep-over.' She hadn't stopped until Kevin confessed he had fallen in love with her...but was he really? She was beautiful, and intelligent, and sassy, and sweet all at the same time.

 

She had turned sugar sweet after that, there was no more game in her, she had 'won.' But her next project was marriage. She had started talking about weddings and kids, and what a beautiful life they could have together.

 

He watched her paint these pictures, all the while going along with them. He had taken them, and somehow added to them. Before he knew it, he had asked Mary Beth for a divorce and was making wedding plans with Amanda. He loved her, he had to love her, if he didn't, he was stupid. If he didn't, he had done the stupidest thing he could have ever done by divorcing Mary Beth---because he had definitely loved her.

 

"Kevin? Earth to Kevy," Amanda chuckled, waving her hand in front of his face.

 

Kevin flinched and glanced down at her. "Wha-what did you say?" he asked quickly.

 

Amanda rolled her eyes. "Jesus Christ, where'd you go? I've been saying your name for at least five minutes," she snapped.

 

Kevin looked at her, a bit of shock playing on his face. She never snapped at him.

 

"I-I'm sorry," she quickly covered it up. "I'm just tired, coming to bed?"

 

"Uh, sure," he muttered. He noticed that she had slipped into a black silk and lace nighty. Man, I must have been really out of it, he shook his head and turned back to his dresser. He shed everything down to his boxer-briefs and pulled on a pair of flannel pants. It was a little chilly to go without. Silently, he slipped into bed.

 

***

 

"Bri?" Mary Beth murmured. She was snuggled up next to him in bed, had been that way all night. "Brian, it's almost eight, you still need to pack."

 

Brian groaned softly and raised the arm that wasn't holding her to stretch. After a moment, he dropped his palm to the bridge of his nose and rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. "Okay, okay," he mumbled. "God damn girl, I felt like I was seventeen last night, but I definitely feel thirty-five now."

 

Mary Beth chuckled softly and slipped from his grasp. She turned away from him, her eyes wide. He had acted like he was a horny seventeen year old last night. Four times in a row he had taken her...but I guess I can't complain, she thought with a smile. It had been very intense, romantic and plainly wonderful.

 

"I'm gonna get in the shower, you should probably grab one too, okay?" she suggested, slipping from the bed and quickly pulling her robe before he got too much of an eyeful. Then she disappeared into the bathroom. Brian sighed again and heaved himself out of the bed.

 

He showered in the downstairs shower and then headed back upstairs to start his packing. He had stayed relatively neat for the month he had stayed there. Mary Beth had kept his laundry up, and he had stayed on the ball with folding it and putting it away. So all's he had to do was move the clothes to the suitcases and zip them up. It took him all of twenty minutes to be fully packed. 

He glanced at his watch. Eight-thirty. They had to leave real soon so he could catch his ten o'clock flight. Like, then and there. He quickly took his bags downstairs and settled them into the backseat of her car. Then he went back in to get Mary Beth.

 

She was just coming down the steps when he entered the room. Her curly hair was wet and was slicked back on her head into a high ponytail, that, when dry, would look like a curly mess. She was in a simple pair of tan khakis, brown clogs and a purple pull over, hooded sweater with grey trimmings on the sleeves.

 

Her face was flushed from the hot water and steam, and she wore no make-up. He loved it when she wore no make-up, he always loved it when women let their real beauty show through. No hair products, except shampoo, and no make-up. Just a dab of deodorant and perfume...then they were at their best.

 

"You ready to go?" he questioned when she reached the bottom step.

 

"You bet, 'B,'" she smiled. "How are you feeling?" she asked.

 

"A little tired,' he answered with a rueful grin. He ushered her through the door, making sure it was locked behind him.

 

"That's not what I mean," Mary Beth said softly.

 

Brian's face sobered slightly, and he cleared his throat. "Um, I'm not sure," he answered as the two slipped into the car---Mary Beth in the drivers seat.

 

Mary Beth sighed inward. She felt so horrible, she couldn't even imagine what she would be thinking if it was Scott or Krista in that position. "She'll get through this, Brian. You three will, and you know you will. You're a family."

 

Brian snorted. "Some family, Beth," he muttered.

 

"Hey," she exclaimed sharply. "You loved her, you still do, whether you'll admit it or not. And you both love your daughter. That's a family." She broke off, "Kevin and I are still a family, too," she concluded. "He just doesn't know that yet."

 

Brian flinched inwardly. After last night, after everything they've shared...she was still set on Kevin. Of course she is, you idiot. You should know she's never gonna love you like that.   "Of course," he murmured, sounding slightly dejected. Mary Beth glanced at him, stifling another sigh. She felt as though a hand had clamped over her heart and wouldn't stop squeezing. She wanted to love Brian. She would kill to love Brian. But she couldn't. No matter how bad she wanted to. She still loved Kevin, she would always love Kevin. She couldn't love Brian, and she had to tell him that.

 

The rest of the drive through New York into Newark, New Jersey, was made in silence. Both adults had drifted off into their own worlds. Just thinking. They made good time, and reached the airport in a little over an hour, giving them twenty minutes to catch Brian's flight. He checked in at the luggage desk and then he and Mary Beth went through security to find his terminal. They then settled in for the short wait for his plane in silence.

 

"First boarding call for flight six-oh-two to California!"

 

"Brian-."

 

"Mary Beth-," Brian said at the same time.

 

Both chuckled. "You go first," Brian murmured.

 

She took a deep breath. "Brian, thank you for coming down here, it meant so much to me."

 

"Anything for my Bethy," he murmured, a small smile on his face.

 

"And...and I have to tell you something," she rushed on. Brian slowly averted her gaze. "I love you Brian. I always have and I always will," he looked back up. "But I can never love you the way I love Kevin. I-I'm so sorry."

 

Brian let a half sob, half chuckled escape as a small smile came to his lips. "I'm sorry, Beth." 

She looked at him, confused. "For...what?"

 

"For putting you on the spot like that," he sighed, and raised his hand to brush her face. "You're right, we're meant to be there for each other, through everything. But we could never have what you and Kevin had. I know that, but I was too hopeful before."

 

"Oh, Brian," Mary Beth let a sob lose. "Oh thank you," she covered his hand with hers, pressing both to her cheek, as the tears slipped down her face. "God I don't want you to leave."

 

"Oh, I know," he murmured. "But I gotta, baby. My little girl needs her daddy."

 

"Yes, yes she does," Mary Beth forced herself to compose. She stood up, Brian following quickly. He pulled her into his arms and pressed his lips to hers in a deep, lingering kiss.

 

"I love you, Beth," he told her huskily, pulling way.

 

"I love you too, Brian, call me and let me know how things are going," Mary Beth made him promise.

 

"I promise," he told her. He kissed her again, quickly, and pulled away. He picked up his small carry-on duffle bag and quickly went to the ticket counter. After giving the stewardess his ticket and receiving the stub, he turned around, kissed his finger tips and waved them at her. Mary Beth returned the gesture and waved until he disappeared.

 

***

 

Mary Beth closed the door softly behind her. As it clicked shut, her usually hectic, busy, and not to mention noisy, life plummeted into silence.

 

Hesitantly, she looked up the stairs; there would be no children running to greet Mama. She glanced towards the kitchen entryway; there would be no Brian welcoming her with a steaming cup of coffee and a warm hug. Last she forced her gaze to the living room; there would definitely be no loving husband to kiss her hello, make her weak in the knee's and give her the hope that everything---no matter how bad---would be okay.

 

She heaved a deep defeated sigh and forced herself to take the first steps towards building up the rest of her life.

 

Saturday, she thought, pulling a glass down from a cupboard. I guess I could get some cleaning done. She took a carton of juice out of the refrigerator and poured it half full. She leaned back against the counter, touched the glass to her lips and downed it quickly.

 

 

She put the glass into the dishwasher before crossing the room to pull a five gallon, light blue, pail from the broom closet. She stuck it in the sink and let the hot water run while she dug under it for some Mr. Clean, then straightened and dumped two capfuls of into the quickly rising water. She opened a bottom drawer next to the dish washer and took out a rag. She flipped the water off as she made her way back across the room to grab a few more cleaning supplies and headed back to pull the bucket out of the sink and proceeded to haul it all to the living room---her usual starting spot.

 

Walking into the room didn't bring as much warmth as it use to. She froze in her tracks as her eyes met Kevin's.

 

That damn portrait, she thought, setting the pail to the floor, she let other supplies slip from her hands as she stepped forward until she was just below it. It had to go, it reminded her of the thing in her life that she had to get over.

 

Placing one hand on each side of the beautiful wooden frame, she lifted up and pulled down. The frame fell to eye level, and what she saw made her gasp.

 

Quickly, she leaned the frame against the closed fire place and kneeled down in front of it.

 

The portrait was beautiful, very professional. Mary Beth remembered the day it had been taken like it had been yesterday. It had been bitterly cold and dreary, as most days in New York's Februaries were.

 

That hadn't stopped Mary Beth from dressing Krista and herself in matching sun dresses. Kevin and Scott wore khaki pants and button down dress shirts. They had made a beautiful family.

 

But that fact wasn't what had made her gasp. It was the look in Kevin's eyes. Her looked happy, content. Genually. She remembered the touching, how, for some reason, they had been giddy with each other.

 

The day had been fun, full of love and laughter. And it had been followed by a long, passionate night. Could have even been the night you conceived this little one, her sub-conscience plunged through her memories.

 

Maternal instinct forced her to place her had on the slight, soft swell of her abdomen. "Kevin will always be a part of me," she murmured, pain etched every word like a knife. "I won't ever be able to change that no matter how bad it hurts."

 

She looked at the portrait again. "No one can fake a happiness like that," she declared, but forced the statement out of her mind. He had left, end of story---time to move on.

 

"And be mature about it," she picked the photograph back off the floor and raised it onto it's hooks.

 

She heaved another lonely sigh, and let her gaze slip away from the past.

 

Slowly, she went back to her bucket of soapy water. She pulled it over to the first end table and went to work.

 

Mary Beth pulled the doily, lamp and picture of her parents off the table and set them on the couch. Spraying the table with oil, she leaned to the side to pick up the dust rag. She ran it over the top and down each side. Her hand ran over the knob of the door on the front and froze. Pictures, her mind raced.

 

The door flew open so fast, she didn't have time to think. Before she knew what she was doing, she had opened the first album in front of her and was laughing.

 

The very first page had made her remember such a happy time. It was after one of the three shows in Chicago, Illinois for the Millennium tour. The picture was of her and Brian during one of the many food fights they had had during the course of the tour. He had her around the waist...her back was to him, and she was trying to cover herself as he sprayed her with a bottle of whip cream. Not that it would have done much good. Her hair was soaked with sweat, along with soda pop, ice cream, and a variety of other foods. Her black dance suit was just as messy, as was his final outfit for the  I Want It That Way encore. She was laughing hysterically, and the smile on his face only proved he was enjoying himself immensely.

 

Immediately, she lost herself in the photo albums, there were at least twenty of them. She laughed, and cried as she viewed shows, before and after show parties, their prayer circle, dance clubs, shots of fans, intimate shots of her and Kevin, Nick and Mandy, Howie and his four or five different flings on the show, AJ with Amanda, and of course Brian and Leigh Anne. She looked at laughter, fun, craziness...and love.

 

God, what happened to them...? she thought as she traced an outline of Leigh Anne and Brian dancing close together. She remembered the exact moment that picture was taken. It had been at Brian's twenty-fifth birthday party. Surprise birthday party. Leigh Anne had told him she couldn't make it, she had been working on a film at the time. It had been two months since she and Brian had seen each other, and he had been completely crushed. He was polite when the whole crew for Millennium had surprised him, but he had honestly not been happy until the moment Leigh Anne had shown up.

 

The photo showed them wrapped in each others arms, forehead rested against forehead, smiling at each other. Their eyes shown with a secret no one else in the world knew.

 

Out of no where, her stomach growled. Surprised, she glanced at her watch. "Four-thirty?!" she out loud to absolutely no one. No wonder she was hungry, she hadn't eaten since that morning. She stretched her arms above her head and pulled herself off the floor. Twenty minutes later, she was back in the same position, a half eaten sandwich and can of soda sitting next her, her nose still in photo albums. It had been such a long time since she had taken a trip down memory lane,  and she couldn't stop. She closed yet another album, and glanced into the cupboard. There was only one left.

 

She took a deep breath and reached for it. She pulled out a huge album. It had once been white, with deep purple ribbon that tied it shut. Now, the edges were slightly yellowed and the ribbon had faded at least two shades. Her wedding album.

 

With a deep sigh, she pulled the ribbon lose and opened the precious book. Instantly, her eyes flooded with tears.

 

The first picture was of her and her father, just before they started down the isle. Her face was glowing, her smile couldn't be more bright. Her father looked so proud as he gazed at her with love and adoration in his eyes. His baby girl was getting married...she remembered him telling her that more then once that day.

 

She took a deep breath and flipped the page. One after another, she slowly made her way through the book. Past pictures of the wedding party, the reception, the band, the bar, her parents, Kevin's mom, her and Leigh Anne---the Maid of Honor, Kevin and Brian---his best man. More intimate shots such as her and Kevin exchanging vows, rings, and then a kiss. Them lighting the candle together, sharing their first dance as husband and wife. Him singing to her near the end of the reception, Brian standing to give the "best man speech," her and Kevin sharing another kiss while around them guests smiled and laughed while clinking their glasses. And finally, them getting into the limo that was covered in whip cream saying "Just Married," with old shoes, tin cans and other stuff tied onto the back bumper with fishing line. The last shot was the back window, where the clearest "Just Married" showed...they were driving away.

 

Slowly she let the book close. She rose her hand to wipe away the tears that spilled down her cheeks. She loved Kevin so much, her whole body hurt with longing for him. She couldn't believe he was no longer hers. She looked at the wedding book, her thoughts flying through her head. It's faded, the memories are all faded...dulling, she thought. And now, so has the marriage...

 

***

*FLASH*BACK*

 

 

Mary Beth slowly looked at her father as they reached the end of isle. He had a smile on his face that surpassed normal happiness, and the tears in his eyes shone brightly. He was proud of her, she could tell.

 

Slowly, he handed her off to her soon-to-be husband. Kevin looked her in the eyes, complete adoration and love played in his and she knew it reflected in hers. He pulled her as close as she'd let him, and the priest started the sermon.

 

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to unite these two people in holy matrimony. Anyone who objects should speak now, or forever hold their peace."

 

The church went silent and both Kevin and Mary Beth let out a breath. The priest's gaze fixed on them and he nodded. "You may begin."

 

Kevin and Mary Beth had decided to write their own vows, Kevin started. "My sweet Mary Beth," he whispered, brushing her cheek with his thumb. "You are as beautiful as anything in this world. I look at you and see who I am written in your eyes. You are an angel sent from Heaven, and I thank God every day that he sent you for me. You know who I am, inside and out. I trust you with everything I have. You complete me, and I love you more than life itself. I promise, with everything I am, and everything I will be, to love, honor and cherish you until the day I die. Forever...until death do us part."

 

The tears that streamed down Mary Beth's face couldn't be helped after he had finished. "Oh Kevin," she murmured, placing her hand over his, pressing them to her cheek. "You are my rock," she began, tears streaming. "You have pushed me and pulled me to where I've needed to be and you have held me through the times that life was so hard I never thought I'd survive. I look at you and see my future, a place that at one time was so bleak because I didn't have anyone to share it with. You, Kevin, complete me. You are my world, my foundation. I promise to be whatever you need me to be, to love you with everything I am and to honor and cherish you with everything I will be until the day I die. Forever...until death do us part..."

 

***

 

Flushed and laughing, Mary Beth and Kevin locked lips for about the twentieth time through the course of dinner. The clanging of silverware on glass was insistent, so Kevin stood, pulled Mary Beth with and gave her a deep, very inappropriate kiss. The crowd hooted and hollered, laughing and congratulating. When Kevin pulled away from a bright red Mary Beth, she was smiling.

 

Kevin turned to the crowd and grinned. "As much as I love kissing my wife please stop, I'm starving!" The crowed gave a good natured ‘boo' as Kevin sat down laughing, and kissing Mary Beth's cheek. Everyone relaxed into a gentle murmur of conversations for a few blissful moments. But soon a clanging came from the bridal table, and Brian stood.

 

He gave a shaky smile to Mary Beth and Kevin before clearing his throat. "Being the best man," he said loudly, so he could attempt to get everyone's attention. "I think it's my place to say a few words about my cousin and my best friend." He took a deep breath.

 

"Kev and Mary Beth started dating about two years ago," he looked over to Mary Beth who was grinning like the Cheshire cat. "I had to push him into it. He was scared mindless." The crowd chuckled. "She was obviously nuts for him, and he was for her, but neither saw it in the other. So with a little push; the guys, Leigh Anne, Amanda and I got them to take the plunge.

 

"Kevin is my cousin, one of my best friends and one of my co-workers. I've know him and have admired him for over twenty years. My opinion?" he grinned. "He couldn't have gotten tied down to a better woman. Throughout the past two years, Mary Beth has become a big part of our lives. Not only a dancer on stage, but a best friend, confident and significant other off-stage.

 

"Her personality is almost always cheerful. Her smile knocks my socks off, so I have no clue what it does to Kevin," the crowd 'awed.' "She's beautiful, not only outside, but in. She's always there if you need her. A shoulder to cry on, or a smile to share with.

 

"She's funny and smart and great to play hooky with," that brought more laughter, and tears from Mary Beth, she couldn't believe all he was saying. Kevin took her hand and she smiled lovingly at him. Brian continued.

 

"She's my best friend, and I love her to death," he whispered, his voice somewhat choked up.

 

His focus turned to Kevin. "You got yourself a great girl, Kev. You and me, we're the lucky one's," he sent a look to Leigh Anne who was sitting on the opposite end of the table from him. "We've found love. Pure, and true, and everlasting. I know you won't mess up, and I know you two won't let each other go. What you've got will never end. I wish you luck, but I know you won't need it. You will make it. I know you will."

 

 

***

*FLASH*FORWARD*

May 23rd, 2011

 

"Any good ideas?" Jeffery Logan, head of the One Last Wish fund-raising committee, sighed. He looked around the crowded table, his gaze settling on every few people. "The annual benefit dinner is just not doing enough anymore."

 

From her spot at the table, Mary Beth fidgeted with the outline in front of her her. Finally working up the courage to speak, she raised her hand.

 

"Ah, Mrs. Richardson," Jeffery murmured. "An idea, I presume?"

 

"Yes," Mary Beth rose from the table as was normal when speaking. "I was thinking..." she trailed off.

 

"Yes?" Jeffery prompted.

 

"To go along with the dinner---well, we could make it a brunch," Mary Beth was more or less talking to herself. "We could have a mid-day meal---a lot like the dinner we've always done, but for entertainment, we could have a talent show."

  "Excuse me?" Janice Arndt, co-chair, pardoned. "A talent show?"

 

"Y-yes," Mary Beth's voice faltered a hair. "But not just any talent show, a celebrity talent show. Old and new talent. 98°, Christina Aguilera, Kid Rock, Jessica Simpson, KoRn, Aerosmith, Madonna, Blink 182, Janet Jackson, Matchbox 20, Westlife. We could see if we could get Celine Dion, Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, Brian Littrell, Eminem, Puff Daddy, and Will Smith....I know I could get the Backstreet Boys together." she was growing excited. "The new stars: Victori Love, PurE HarmonE, Harmonics, Pure 51, Last Chance to Dream, Thugs, Devon Scorpio, D' cyple. You know?!" she paused, everyone was chattering amongst themselves. "They all come to this anyway—but if they perform—more people will come on top of it! We can make tons more money!"

 

The group of sophisticated business men and women were chattering excitedly. Finally, Jeffery broke in.

 

"All in favor say 'aye.'"

 

"Aye!"

 

"All opposed?"

 

Silence.

 

Mary Beth's heart leapt. They loved it! They truly love it!

 

"This meeting is adjourned on that notion, watch the mail for your next news letter and meeting time, it will be shortly," Jeffery dismissed. "Mrs. Richardson, I'd like to speak with you."

 

Mary Beth nodded, and followed him out of the room into an adjoining office.

 

"Excellent idea, Mrs. Richard—."

 

"Please," Mary Beth held up her hand. "Call me Mary Beth...Mrs. Richardson sounds so old."

 

Jeffery nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. "Anyway, excellent idea, Mary Beth," his smile turned into a grin. "And since it was your idea, and Mrs. Arndt is leaving, we were wondering...well I was wondering if you'd be willing to organize it."

 

Mary Beth's eyes went wide. "Mrs. Arndt is leaving, and...and you want m-me?" she was completely flabbergasted.

 

"If you don't have time, I'm sure we could find someone else," he paused. "But since it was your idea, I thought I'd ask you first."

 

"No, yes...I," Mary Beth was shocked. This was something to do, something to take her mind off of Kevin and the kids while they were gone. "What I mean is, of course I have time and I'd love to do it...thank you!"

 

"Hey, not a problem, Mary Beth," Jeffery grinned and held out his hand. "I'll get you more information pronto," he finished as she shook it. "Have a good day."

 

"Will do, thanks again." Mary Beth left the building with higher spirits then she had had in the past month.

 

She hummed softly as she slipped into her car and gunned the ignition, then quickly pulled into the early evening traffic.

 

Ideas were just flying through her head, and she was so excited. Christina Aguilera. Getting her would probably be fairly easy. Ms. Aguilera, who was still single, was a huge success. Her voice had grown phenomenally over the past ten years. She had turned into a Barbara Striesand, with her strong, classical voice, with a Madonna look.

 

Eminem would do it. If he could be anywhere near Aguilera, he'd do it. For the past five years their on again, off again relationship had been a hot topic with magazines and Mtv.

 

She knew she could get tons of the older artists. They all knew who she was, whether by name, face or personally. They definitely knew her as Kevin Richardson's---that big Backstreet Boy---wife. Ex-wife, something taunted. She swatted it aside.

 

She was pretty sure she could get AJ...a.k.a...Johnny "No-Name," to perform. And was hoping to get the guys to perform Everbody (Backstreet's Back).

 

She flipped on the radio and turned to her favorite ‘yesterday's hits' station. Music from the 80's  and 90's. That always made her laugh. Oldies fm, she rolled her eyes. I'm not old!

 

She pulled off of 54th street and onto Broadway. "Damn!" she said out loud, then muttered, "Traffic jam." Her spirits fell a few notches as she slumped back in her seat and reached to turn up the radio, keeping one hand on the wheel.

 

Zoning out of the traffic, she turned all her attention to the radio. The end of Britney Spears' Sometimes. She rolled her eyes, Britney had always been very bitter with her in person. But she was a BSB girl and Britney had been an N*sync girl. In fact, Britney was still an N*sync girl, with three kids.

 

Mary Beth was snapped out of her thoughts as a taxi cab behind her lay on his horn. "Fine, fine," she muttered. "You want me to move up the freakin' two feet...I will." After she pulled the car ahead, she let her concentration go back to the music.

 

She vaguely recognized the voices and melody. If she was remembering right, it was a female country group. Then, she listened to the words....

 

...does she have to take your heart away

When for so long you were mine?

 

I can give you two good reasons

To show you love's not blind

He's two and she's four

And you know they adore you

So how can I tell them you've changed your mind?

 

Sometimes I wake up crying at night...

 

But Mary Beth didn't hear the rest of the song. Tears were just streaming down her face. That song could, and would easily, become her song. It fit like a glove with her life right now. Even the ages of the children. How odd...how, perfect...

 

*FLASH*BACK*

 

"Do you think he'll be excited?" Mary Beth whispered to Leigh Anne as they stepped into the warm Florida sunshine.

 

Leigh Anne laughed and pulled the tired five year old Lexi into her arms. "Excited, Beth, he's going to freak!"

 

Mary Beth juggled her shopping bags into one hand so she could open the car door. After settling Lexi into the back, Leigh Anne climbed into the front with Mary Beth.

 

"I still can't believe you're moving," Leigh Anne whispered.

 

"You can believe I'm pregnant, but you can't believe I'm moving?!" Mary Beth chided, trying to lighten the mood.

 

"I can't believe a lot of stuff," Leigh whispered.

 

"I know," Mary Beth answered. She knew exactly what Leigh was getting at. "After almost thirteen years, I can't believe it's over either."

 

"The Backstreet Gold Album was a good idea," she continued softly---almost painfully.

 

"You know, Leigh, it was for a good reason. They have lives now---we're the lucky fans, we're part of those lives.

 

"I know," Leigh Anne sighed. "Brian was so sad, though."

 

"So was Kevin. God, they all were, but it got to be too much of a good thing."

 

"You're right," Leigh Anne agreed, half heartedly.

 

The official end of the Backstreet Boys had been two months before. After their last world tour, Backstreet's Gold to give the fans one last memory, the guys had announced their departure from the music industry. And it was a sad fact that music all over the world would never be the same again.

 

 

*FLASH*FORWARD*

 

The months that followed seemed to fly by for Mary Beth.

 

Every week she didn't have the children, she threw herself into the preparations for the Benefit Dinner. Things were starting to fall into place, slowly but surely.

 

The OLW fund-raising committee had been very enthusiastic about the idea and had given her support, time and dedication. Invitation letters had been sent out to all celebrities who had attended in the past, and to all new one's from the past year. But accompanying that letter had been the still growing list of performers for that night.

 

Mary Beth had ‘for sures' from over thirty acts---including Brian Littrell, Johnny "No-Name" and The Backstreet Boys.

 

The only problem she had had with any of the five guys had been Kevin---and even he hadn't been much of a problem.

 

The weeks Scott and Krista were home, she put away her papers, files and phone numbers, and focused every ounce of her energy and attention on her babies.

 

The did everything together. Bike rides, car rides, trips to Gramma's, picnics, movies, parks, plays, out-to-eats. They went to Children Museums, the Empire State Building, and the Statue of Liberty. They stayed at motels for the sheer fact of swimming pools. They played games, made cookies, shopped---everything.

 

Her kids were all she had left of the life she treasured with all her heart, and she put every ounce into showing them just how special they were to her.

 

Brian called once or twice each month with news of Lexi's progress. The young blonde haired, blue eyed girl was doing better every time, and she could tell Brian was very happy to be with his little girl.

 

In the first few months, he voiced quite a bit that he missed her, and wished he could be with her. But as time passed, those opinions turned into sighs of ‘it's good to her your voice.'

 

Mary Beth sensed, very happily, that Brian and Leigh Anne were falling for each other again. There were just small hints. Laughter and bantering when she was on the phone with one or both of them. The sing-songy way he said her name. Or the flushed sound in Leigh's voice when she spoke of him. The most deciding factor was that he had left the hotel he had been staying at and was staying at Leigh Anne and Lexi's apartment.

 

In some sense Mary Beth was a little jealous. Not that Leigh Anne and Brian were getting back together, even if they didn't realize it, but because they had love and companionship again. She was still alone.

 

Preparations for all the guys coming to New York had been made somewhat timidly. Mary Beth had insisted that all of them stay with her at her house. Kevin would have the kids that week, so she could use their rooms for extra space. Everyone had eventually agreed, but arrangements were still kind of in the air for when they would be coming. AJ was bringing his little girl, Nick was coming with his wife, and their three month old son, Lance. Howie, his wife and their five kids. Also Brian, and if Lexi was in remission, she and Leigh Anne would also come.

 

The biggest problem in Mary Beth's life was her belly. It was always in the way, but she also prided it, and thrived off the fact that she would bring another child into the world.

 

Doctors appointments had become regular, and even though it was painful for both of them, Kevin went to every one.

 

She was due October 8th, 2010, less then two weeks, and had names picked out. Well, she told Kevin if it was a boy, she was naming it Brian James, and if it was a girl Brianna Nicole. But if she had a little girl she planned on naming her Allison Brianna, which was Kevin's favorite female name. They had both sat down with Scott and Krista and explained the new baby, needless to say, both of the soon-to-be older siblings were extatic.

 

She and Kevin hardly spoke when they saw each other. She guessed it was for the best, every time she spoke to him, she practically wound up in tears. There time together at the hospital was precious to her, as silly as it sounded. She lived for the few minutes ‘alone' together while watching their baby on the monitor---it made the divorce seem like a bad dream...and she hated waking up.

 

Things never really seemed normal. But this was her life now, and she was very intent on getting use to it.

 

*FLASH*BACK*

 

 

"Kevin!" Mary Beth sat up quickly in bed, her arm flew out to steady the sudden rush to her head, and she knocked over a glass of water.

 

Kevin sat up with a start, squinting in the darkness. "What?!" he asked, confused and groggy. "What?"

 

"I...oh---oh....oh my God, Kevin, I need to go...NOW!" she screamed, her hand flying to her abdomen.

 

"What the he---oh!" the realization hit him as Mary Beth gave another panicked gasp and reached out for him. "Kevin," she whimpered.

 

"Oh my God, oh my God," he jumped out of the bed and into a pair of sweats so fast a cat couldn't have blinked an eye.

 

He grabbed the suitcase they had packed and turned back to Mary Beth who was sitting on the edge of the bed, attempting to get up.

 

"What are you doing?!" he demanded, dropping the suitcase.

 

"Getting to the car," after the initial shock of the fact that it was time, Mary Beth was much calmer.

 

"Hell no, woman," he was at her side in two seconds and swept her into his arms.

 

Mary Beth giggled, locking her arms around his neck. "Kevin, how do we get the suitcase and the car keys if you're going to carry me?"

 

Kevin looked momentarily dazed, then sobered. "You sure you can walk?"

 

She nodded. "Positive."

 

"Okay then..." he took a deep breath. "God, let's go..."

 

***

 

"It's a boy, Mrs. Richardson, a beautiful baby boy," a nurse murmured as cries of a newborn child filled the room. Mary Beth fell back to the bed cushions, exhausted, and held her arms out for the screaming red bundle of joy.

 

The nurse cut the chord and tied it off before wrapping the tiny child and turning to his mother.

 

"How's my husband?" she murmured just as the nurse placed him in her arms. "Oh he's so tiny," she cooed, amazed that she had made this little wonder happen.

 

"Mr. Richardson is doing fine. After passing out, the Orderly made him wait in the waiting room," she chuckled. "Would you like me to go get him?"

 

"Yes, oh please yes," Mary Beth was glowing and absolutely dying to share this moment with Kevin.

 

Less then a minute later, Kevin burst into the room. His face instantly calmed when he saw Mary Beth sitting up in bed, soaked with sweat, and looking more beautiful then ever.

 

"We have a little boy, Kevy," she murmured, tears of happiness spilling over. "Come say hello to our son."

 

Kevin slowly moved over to her, looking happy, shocked and terrified at the same time. Mary Beth rearranged herself so he could see the baby better, he looked down in wonder and ever-so-gently brushed a dark wisp of hair off his forehead. "He's gorgeous, Bethy," he murmured, turning his gaze to his wife. "So are you," he added, leaning down to kiss her gently.  "What should we name him, baby?" he questioned as he pulled away slowly.

 

"I was thinking Scott," Mary Beth answered immediately. "Scott Jerald Richardson."

 

Kevin's eyes filled with tears at her thoughtfulness.  "Oh baby, I love it..."

 

***

*FLASH*FORWARD*

October 3rd, 2010—10:45 a.m.

 

"Mom?" Mary Beth questioned into the telephone.

 

"Bethy, honey, how are you?" Teresa questioned, happy to hear her daughters voice.

 

"In labor."

 

"What!?"

 

"I need you to come and stay with the kids," she said softly.

 

"Of course, of course, I'll be there in a half hour," Teresa answered urgently.

 

"I'm right at the beginning, my water hasn't broke yet, you should have time," Mary Beth replied calmly. "I'll call Kevin, he should be able to get here in about the same time as you."

 

The next thirty minutes seemed to be the longest time in her whole life. She had paged Kevin,  he had called back immediately and was on his way.

 

Teresa reached her daughters house first, and ushered both of the excited children into the living room. She settled them into a movie and then came back into the entry way, where Mary Beth sat on a chair, bag at her feet.

 

"Are you all right, darling?" she questioned.

 

"Yes, the contractions are over six minutes apart, I have plenty of time," she gave a half smile. "I'm kinda scared, Mama, I've never had to do this alone, you know."

 

"Everything will turn out baby, God won't let you suffer, you've been through too much."

 

Just as she finished speaking, Kevin burst into the house. "Bethy, are you okay?" he questioned urgently, his dark green eyes wild.

 

"Yes, Kevin," she answered with a small smile. "I'm fine, let's go," she stood up and started to pick up her bag, but he grabbed it from her.

 

"I've got this," he insisted, placing one hand on the small of her back to guide her out of the house. He looked over his shoulder at his ex-mother-in-law. "Thank you, Teresa!" he said whole-heartedly. Teresa didn't have time to speak before the door closed.

 

***

 

8:30 p.m.

 

Mary Beth's water didn't even break until three-thirty in the afternoon. And by that time, she was contracting about every minute. But nothing seemed to be happening.

 

She was in so much pain, that it terrified Kevin, but the nurses assured him everything was all right---it was just a really long labor, nothing abnormal about it.

 

He was forced to stay in the waiting room until it was time for her to push, and was not very happy about it. It was too much time to think, to understand what was going on. God, I've been so foolish, he thought. She'd do anything for me, probably still would. Why did I do this?

 

The realization hit him in the gut---hard. You're right a voice taunted. You gave away the most precious thing you had. A beautiful loving family, and the chance for a lifetime of it. You know Amanda will never be anything you need. She may be everything in looks and smarts, but it's Mary Beth that has the appeal, the heart and the dedication. She loved you more then anything in the world, and you shoved her out of the way because of some younger, gorgeous lawyer who snaked her way into your heart. That was the dumbest thing you've ever done.

 

Kevin didn't even realize he was crying until a nurse asked him if he was okay.

 

He looked up surprised and let out a gruff. "Yeah, fine."

 

You can't go back to her now, though, that annoying, confusing voice of reason continued. You've made promises to Amanda. You're divorced, the kids are starting to get use to it, you can't just dishevel their lives again. You should have realized this earlier...when you could have saved it. Stupid man, how could you be so stupid...?!

 

"Mr. Richardson?" a petite brunette in green scrubs questioned, tapping him on the shoulder.

 

Kevin looked up questioning.

 

"Mrs. Richardson is asking for you," the nurse smiled.

 

"She, she is?" he murmured.

 

"Yeah, c'mon, Dad, let's go," she turned and started walking towards the delivery room.

 

"Dad," he murmured, letting a small smile cross his face. That one word still captured his heart whole.

 

He was led into the small room where Mary Beth was laying in a delivery bed, her legs up over the braces. She was staring straight ahead, concentrating on her breathing, Kevin didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the expression on her face.

 

Suddenly, her face scrunched up and she cried out. Her voice was hoarse and weak, and her hand clenched the side of the iron bed. As soon as the flash of pain stopped, Kevin noticed her go back to her breathing.

 

"Mary Beth?" he murmured. Her head flipped in the direction of his voice.

 

"Kevin?" she whimpered. "I'm so tired..." she trailed off and leaned her head back into her pillows. "Our baby sure doesn't wanna hurry for it's Mama," she whispered. Kevin walked to her and took her hand in his just as another contraction hit. She gritted her teeth and cried out, Kevin let her squeeze his hand. "I wanna push," she sobbed as the contraction ceased. "Please."

 

One of the nurses in the room wiped her face with a damp cloth while another glanced at a chart. "Dr. O' Shloger isn't here yet," she started to say when Mary Beth cut her off with another scream.

 

"You gotta let her push," Kevin said immediately, wincing as her hold tightened on his hand. "That one was less then twenty seconds apart."

 

The nurse nodded and quickly left the room.

 

Another nurse soon entered and started giving instructions. Ten minutes later, Dr. O' Shloger showed, and one hour and fifteen minute after that, on her father's thirty-ninth birthday, Allison Brianna Richardson came into the world, screaming her head off.

 

***

October 4th, 8:35 a.m.

 

"I wanna see Daddy, lemme see!" Scott exclaimed, pulling on the blanket of the bundle in Kevin's arms.

 

Mary Beth chuckled tiredly as she stepped into the house behind Kevin. "You wanna see your new baby sister?" she murmured, kneeling. She held her arms out for her only baby boy and he was in them in a flash.

 

"Yes, I do!" he muttered into her shoulder.

 

"Well come here, Daddy, so the kids can see their new sister," she picked up Scott and led a startled Kevin into the living room.

 

Teresa came into the room a few minutes later with a sleepy Krista in her arms. "The latest addition to the family," she murmured, setting Krista to the floor. Everyone gathered around as Mary Beth took Allison from Kevin's arms and slowly uncovered her face. Teresa gasped, and Scott and Krista looked on in awe.

 

Allison looked at her family with the widest, darkest green eyes any of them had ever seen. Her tiny fists were scrunched into little balls on her chest and her small, pouty mouth was turned into a baby smile. She had wisps of dark, slightly curly hair and her skin was soft and pink.

 

"She's beautiful, Mary Beth," Teresa whispered, softly brushing her index finger over Allison's little hands.

 

Carefully, the small child was transported into her Grandmother's arms. "Why don't you and Kevin go put your stuff away and get a nice hot cup of coffee while the children and I get acquainted with Allison."

 

"Thanks, Teresa," Kevin murmured, he reached for Mary Beth's hand to help her to her feet. Slowly, they made their way up the stairs to their bedroom, Kevin had her bag.

 

In silence, he sat on the bed and watched her put her things away. After a few moments, she broke it.

 

"When are you going to come get your things?" she asked softly, indicating to the closet still full of his clothes and shoes.

 

"Soon," he mumbled. "Let's not talk about that right now, Mary Beth."

 

"Then what do we talk about?" she demanded, glancing at him. "It's hard to find a topic for me when it comes to you. I usually end up in tears."

 

"Mary Beth, God," Kevin ran a hand over his face wearily. "Don't do this to yourself," he pleaded. "I don't want you hurting anymore."

 

"I don't think it's ever gonna stop," she whispered, slowly sinking to the floor in front of the closet, tossing her slippers inside. "I just don't think anything is ever going to make it stop."

 

Kevin softly changed the subject. "She's beautiful, Beth," he breathed. "We made another beautiful baby."

 

"Yes,we did,." she agreed. "We've made a lot of beautiful things, Kevin." She couldn't help herself, she covered her face with her hands and began to sob. Kevin's heart stopped.

 

I told you, his mind reeled. I told you you loved her, you just wouldn't listen. How stupid could you be? You gave away something you will never find again---no matter how hard you look. She's sitting right in front of you, sobbing her eyes out for you. And you gave her up.

 

"Bethy," he choked. "Damn it, Mary Beth, come here," he pleaded. She didn't move, just kept sobbing. He got up from the bed and settled next to her on the floor. Slowly, she met his eyes and was startled when she found him crying.

 

"Kevin...?" she breathed between hiccups of tears, reaching out to touch his face.

 

"Just let me hold you," he slipped an arm around her shoulders. She broke into more tears and gratefully fell into his arms. He pulled her close and leaned up against one of the dressers, rocking her gently. He brushed her mess of curls from her face and kissed the top of her head. How are you going to fix this, Kevin? he thought to himself. How are you going to get this back and make her trust you again?

 

 

"Wow, somebody finally decided to come home," Amanda's low, sultry voice came from the darkness of the small, plush living room.

 

Kevin slowly took a deep breath and clicked the door shut behind himself. "Manda? We need to talk."

 

"I figured as much, Kevin darling," her icy retort was followed with her stepping into the entryway of the kitchen from the living room

 

Kevin paused to look at her. Her bright eyes were flashing---with anger---not hurt or confusion. Her blonde hair was lose and spilled over her shoulders and back. She was in a pair of jeans and an over sized hooded sweat shirt. So casual compared to her normal business suits and dresses.

 

"Why don't we go sit down?" he suggested carefully.

 

"Why don't we talk right here?" she countered.

 

"All ri---."

 

"Four days, Kevin?!" she shot out, interrupting him. "You were with her---alone for four days?!"

 

"Amanda, she was having my kid. You can not just expe---!"

 

"Shut up, Mr. Hot Shot! This is my home, I will do the talking." Kevin's jaw dropped, he had never seen her act like this. "You've ruined everything, Kevin. Everything. I've planned and plotted for so long! And you ruined it all by going back to her!"

 

"What in God's name are you talking about, woman?!" Kevin shot out roughly. "‘Ruined everything?' ‘Plotted and planned?'"

 

"Us!" she said simply, gesturing to absolutely nothing. "I created us. I plotted and planned and worked so hard! And now you've gone and blown everything I've worked for."

 

"What are you talking about, Amanda?" Kevin shouted. "And I damned well better get some good answers!"

 

"I created us, Kevin," her eyes were flashing with a craziness. "I created this. I toyed with your mind, made you fall for me. Made you want me, made you need me." She laughed out loud, a crazy, witching laugh. "And I had you. Oh, I had you Kevin Scott Richardson---ex-Backstreet Boy. But now, I've decided I don't want you." Before he knew what was happening, her engagement ring was thrown in his face. "I don't want you, because I've already destroyed you. I've destroyed you and your perfect family. I'm satisfied."

 

Kevin was in shock. He slowly bent down and picked up the small diamond ring, then he faced her. "I don't even know what to say to you, Amanda Delaney. But I guess I can tell you that I came here to end this tonight. Granted," he stood up and looked at her, her face had gone pale, but her eyes still glowed dangerously. "I expected tears and some anger, not what you just threw in my face."

 

He turned slowly to the door, hesitated, then turned back. "Just so you know, Amanda. You're the only one that got screwed here." He looked her in the eyes. "I'm going to do everything in my divine power to get Mary Beth back. I love her, and I know she loves me. I'm just sorry you got in the way of that love in the first place." Then, he left.

 

***

Wednesday, October 22nd, 2010---two days before the Benefit Dinner

 

"Mama, Daddy's here," Scott murmured, pulling on Mary Beth's arm. "Mama," he said again, a little more urgently. Mary Beth didn't stir, she was sound asleep in the rocking chair, Allison in one arm, Krista in the other, both little girls were also sound asleep. Scott had been watching TV when he'd seen his father pull up.

 

"Mama," he said again.

 

"Scotty, sh," Kevin whispered, stepping into the room. "Let your Mom sleep. She's probably exhausted."

 

Scott turned to his dad, smiling. "Uncle Brian's coming today!" he exclaimed happily. "We haven't seen him forever!"

 

Kevin chuckled and dropped to his knees to be more on eye level with his son. "Yes he is, so you'd better go get dressed." Scott nodded, kissed his father on the cheek, and made a beeline for the stairs.

 

"Daddy?" came the soft voice of Krista, who had woke at the sound of Scott's excited voice.

 

"Hey little girl," he murmured, scooping her out of Mary Beth's grasp. She stirred slightly, but then snuggled back into the chair, her arm tightening around Allison. Kevin sighed. "Why don't we go get dressed?" he suggested, Krista nodded and snuggled her face in the crook of his neck.

 

Mary Beth woke and hour later to the wonderful smell of coffee and eggs. She stretched one arm and looked down at the two week old Allison adoringly. She scooted herself off the chair and gently lay her in the baby basket at her feet. Then went to go see who was in the kitchen.

 

She rounded the corner to see Kevin at the stove, flipping fried eggs, and Krista and Scott sitting at the table in their booster seats, waiting for breakfast.

 

"Kevin!" she exclaimed, surprised. She figured maybe her mother was there...or that Brian was early. She had not expected to see Kevin. After he had left after the first four days after the labor, he had barely made contact. He had called twice, once to make sure they were all right, and again to tell Mary Beth he wasn't able to take the kids for the week, which Mary Beth was more than happy to accept.

 

"Good morning to you too, Mary Beth," he gave her a half smile and he slipped one egg onto each plate, which already held buttered toast. Then set each plate in front of the kids. "Hungry?" he asked after turning back to the stove.

 

"What are you doing here?" she demanded after a moment of shocked silence.

 

"Um, well, I got the kids dressed, and now I'm making breakfast," he answered coyly. "I also wanna see my four brothers that are due here today."

 

"Oh," Mary Beth murmured, still hesitant---confused, but she didn't dare protest. "Um...okay. Ali...Allison is in the living room, in her chair. Is it okay if I take a shower?"

 

"Yeah, go ahead," Kevin agreed easily. "I can handle the kids. Did you want breakfast?"

 

"No, no thanks," she answered. Then turned and fled up the stairs.

 

What the hell is going on here? she thought. This is just too weird.

 

She tried to shrug it off, and by the time she was done with her shower, she had succeeded. She made her way downstairs to find the kitchen clean, empty and dark. In fact, if it weren't for the sound of cartoon's in the living room, Mary Beth would have sworn she was alone.

 

She poured herself a cup of coffee and slowly made her way into the livingroom, not sure if she would be able to handle what she would find.

 

She was right. Tears instantly sprung to her eyes when she found her family. Krista and Scott were curled on the couch, snuggled together, and Kevin lay on his back on the floor with Allison on his chest. She was sleeping, and Kevin had his eyes closed, one of his arms rested on her tiny back lightly.

 

She leaned against the door jam and just looked, pretended. Pretended that it was normal, that it would be that way for the rest of her life. But before she could speak, ask Kevin just what he was doing there...torturing her like he was, the doorbell rang.

 

"I'll get it," she said softly, she watched Kevin jump slightly at the sound of her voice.

 

"All right, Mary Beth, we'll be right there," he replied as he carefully sat up with Allison tucked tight against him.

 

Mary Beth gave a curt nod, and turned back into the hallway to make her way to the front door. She set her coffee cup on the small decorative table and peaked out the window---instantly breaking into a grin. It was Brian---with Leigh Anne and Lexi!

 

"Brian!" she exclaimed happily, throwing open the door and throwing her arms around him. Brian hugged her back fiercely.

 

"How is my Bethy?" he murmured.

 

"Just great now that her Brian is here," she muttered back, then pulled away. Leigh Anne looked at her hesitantly. It had been over five years since they had even really talked, but they had both missed each other crazily.

 

"Leigh, you look wonderful," Mary Beth complimented with a soft edge in her voice. Tears made her eyes glisten as Leigh held out her arms, she moved in for the hug. "I didn't know you were coming!"

 

"You don't look so bad yourself there, Beth," she whispered, her voice a bit choked with tears. "And it was a surprise."

 

"Let's not cry here, ladies," Kevin's deep voice came from the doorway. "Too much to be happy about."

 

Both Brian and Leigh Anne looked from Kevin to Mary Beth, then to each other curiously. "He's excited for you all to get here," Mary Beth exclaimed hastily, ignoring the looks. "This must be your little Lexi."

 

"I'm not little," eight year old Alexis defended, her finger going to her mouth shyly.

 

"Of course not baby," Brian grinned dropping into a squat position. "This is your Aunt Mary Beth, do you remember her.?"

 

"A little," Alexis answered as her eyes grew wide and she looked at Mary Beth curiously. "My Daddy talks about you all the time, he said you were pretty, but he didn't say you were beautiful."

 

Mary Beth flushed pink with the child's sincere words. "Thank you, darling," she murmured, pulling the tiny girl into her arms. Lexi hugged her back warmly, but Mary Beth could help the tears that formed in her eyes at the feel of her frail body. Cancer was a terrible, terrible thing for such a small child to go through. She was positively gaunt, and Mary Beth knew the handkerchief on her head was to hide the fact that she had no hair.

 

"She's gotten even more beautiful," she whispered, looking up into Leigh Anne's face. For the first time she noticed that both she and Brian seemed very, extremely happy.

 

"Yes she has," Brian grinned as he slipped his hand into Leigh Anne's.

 

"What is this!" Mary Beth shrieked excitedly.  Both of her friends looked at her quizzically.

 

"You're holding hands," Kevin interpreted for them.

 

"Oh," Leigh Anne blushed. "You didn't tell them?" she looked at Brian, adoration playing in her eyes.

 

"We---," Brian coughed. "Got engaged again," he muttered under his breath.

 

"Wha---!?" Mary Beth cried. "Are you serious," she watched as Brian pulled Leigh Anne closer. "You are! Oh my God I'm so happy for you!" Hugs and congratulation went all around again just before Krista and Scott appeared in the doorway.

 

"Unca Brian!" Krista beamed, holding her arms out for him. Brian ginned and swooped to pick up the two year old.

 

"Miss Krissy!" he exclaimed, tickling her. "I missed you!"

 

Krista giggled and hugged him around the neck as Scott started pulling on his pant leg. "Uncle Brian, I missed you too!"

 

"Hey there lil' buddy," Brian smiled, dropping to his knee's and setting Krista next to them. "I missed you too," he whispered, pulling Scott into a hug.

 

Mary Beth turned to Kevin with a smile on her face, Kevin was watching Brian introduce Scott and Krista to Alexis.

 

"Can I have her?" she murmured, reaching her arms for Allison.

 

"Hm?" Kevin looked to her, momentarily confused. "Oh. Sure, honey," he replied easily

 

Mary Beth looked at him in shock. "What?" she whispered. "What did you just call me?"

 

"Ah---," Kevin hesitated, he wasn't sure where it had come from.

 

"Never mind," Mary Beth brushed it off and pulled the baby into her arms. She turned to the small group of friends. "This," she announced proudly, "is the newest addition to the Richardson family."

 

Leigh Anne looked up from the small chat she was making with Scott and Krista, beaming. "Oh, Mary Beth, she's beautiful," she cooed, reaching out for Allison. "May I?"

 

"Of course!" Mary Beth handed Allison to Leigh Anne and glanced at Brian who nodded with approval.

 

"She is beautiful," he whispered.

 

Everyone's attention was quickly refocused as a black stretch limo pulled into the driveway.

 

"Let me guess," Kevin said wryly. "AJ."

 

They all chuckled as the blonde tipped, tattooed, ex-Backstreet Boy stepped out of the flamboyant automobile, a small, dark haired girl in tow.

 

The four adults standing on the stoop looked at each other in shock. The little girl he was caring was a carbon copy of her mother.

 

When Natasha Lynn had been born, AJ and Amanda had been engaged to be married. To everyone around them---and to AJ, everything had been perfect. But one night, when Tasha had been about four months old, Amanda had left in the middle of the night. Leaving AJ a short note, and a baby girl. No one had ever heard from her again. AJ had been so full of anger and hate, that it had covered the hurt and heartbreak. He refused to look for her, saying that if she had left him, there was no reason going after her. Everyone knew not to mention Amanda's name, and never did, for fear of how AJ would react.

 

"It must kill him to look at her," Leigh Anne whispered, as she watched them trudge up the walk.

 

Mary Beth nodded in agreement, then turned to AJ with a smile.

 

"Bone!" she exclaimed with a laugh, opening her arms. AJ's face broke into a wide grin upon hearing his old nick name.  He set the two year old Tasha to her feet and enveloped Mary Beth warmly, kissing the top of her head.

 

"Hey baby," he said, then whispered into her ear. "What is he doin' here?"

 

"He wanted to see you guys," she murmured with a sigh. "Don't make a big deal. It's over and done, nothing can be fixed."

 

"Right," AJ squeezed quickly and let her go. "This is my Tasha," he introduced softly, looking down at his little girl proudly. Tasha had her hand clasped around the hammer loop of her dad's carpenter jeans, one finger in her mouth. She looked up at everyone with dark, wary eyes.

 

"Hi, Tasha," Brian murmured, squatting down to the little girls level, he held Krista in his arms. "This is Krista. You two will be really good friends, don't you think so?"

 

Tasha and Krista looked at each other curiously. Finally Tasha looked up at her dad, almost asking permission. When he nodded his approval, she let go of his pants and teetered over to Brian, laying her hand on Krista's knee. "Pway?" she asked with a bright smile. Everybody laughed. It was just priceless.

 

"Why don't we go inside?" Kevin spoke up after another moment of silence. "We can get the kids settled in and get everyone a drink."

 

"Oh, yes," Mary Beth agreed, taking Allison back from Leigh Anne. She led everyone into the house, Kevin showed the men where to put luggage, while Mary Beth and Leigh Anne got the kids settled into a movie and occupied them with toys.

 

After the four older ones were in place, Mary Beth led Leigh Anne into the kitchen and put Allison in an electronic swing that was in the corner.

 

The doorbell rang just as the men came into the kitchen.

 

"That's either Nicky or ‘D,'" AJ rasped, glancing at his watch. "They're late."

 

Mary Beth chuckled. "There wasn't a specific time to be here," she told him. "Besides, it's not like you've never been late before, AJ."

 

"She got you there, Bone," Brian quipped with a silly grin on his face.

 

AJ shrugged, a sexy smile plastered on his face. "Of course."

 

"You were wrong, Age," Kevin called. "It's Howie and his clan and Nicky."

 

"Nicky!" Leigh Anne cried from the kitchen table. She jumped up and raced through the kitchen into the entryway, Brian, AJ and Mary Beth at her heels.

 

"Leigh!" Nick laughed, enveloping her in his arms as Mary Beth threw her arms around Katie.

 

"Wow, how've you been Kate?" she whispered, squeezing tight.

 

"We've been good," Katie answered, returning the hug with enthusiasm.

 

"Our luggage is in the van," Howie said softly, hugging Mary Beth also. "So are three sleeping kids and the twins."

 

"Holly's in the car too," Nick said as he and Brian pulled apart. "She's got Lance."

 

"I cannot believe you named him Lance," AJ muttered.

 

Nick shrugged, then laughed. "What can I say? She was a big N*sync fan."

 

"She must die," AJ teased.

 

"Anyway you guys," Mary Beth broke in, clapping her hands. "Let's show the men where the rooms are so they can haul luggage and un-pack, settle the rest of the kids in, and then the women can all help me cook and the men can have drinks and catch up. Sound good?"

 

Everyone agreed and set to work.

 

Benefit Dinner

 

"Please tell me that sound is fine," Mary Beth pleaded, her face pale. "We start this show in five minutes. Tell me sound is fine."

 

"Sound is fine," a tech answered. Mary Beth breathed a sigh of relief and dropped a kiss on Allison's head. Allison was in a baby pouch that was strapped over her shoulders.

 

"Thank God," she muttered, walking towards the left wing. She peaked through the curtains and sucked in a nervous breath. She was so excited for everything, but nervous at the same time.

 

All of the boys and their wives and kids sat in the first two rows, Mary Beth had made sure they had good seats. The guys were practicing in a rehearsal room that was down a corridor, but were due back any second. First act was in place, sound was good, lights were perfect. Now, she just had to start the whole thing.

 

She pulled Allison out of the carrier and started back towards the wing the Boys were in so she could give her to Kevin.

 

Two minutes later, she was stepping onto the stage.

 

The entire auditorium fell silent as they watched her walk to center stage. "Good evening, ladies and gentleman," she started with a shaky breath. "Tonight we have some live entertainment for you."

 

The crowds volume swelled a bit. Then dropped as she started speaking again. "This is the first ever One Last Wish-Foundation Concert," she began to gather confidence. "I know how much those seats you're sitting in cost," she winked and the crowd chuckled. "But I promise you that every penny is going to a good cause, and, on top of that---what we have here tonight for you is going to be well worth it.

 

"As most of you know, I'm the ex-wife of former Backstreet Boy, Kevin Richardson. And, well, he owed me a few," the laughter swelled even more, and Mary Beth chuckled. "After I twisted a few arms---mainly Kevin's---I got them to perform for us."

 

The cheering was defining after that remark. Mary Beth got the rush she always had when she was about to go on-stage with the Boys, and she couldn't help the silly grin that crossed her face. "Well, on that note, I'd like to introduce our first act," she gestured towards the left wing. "Victori Love! Let's give her a hand!"

 

The crowd went nuts as she quickly exited the stage and everything went black.

 

Three and a half hours later, almost everyone had performed. In fact, only one person was left. Herself, and oh my God, she was nervous.

 

She had known she had to sing the song the moment she had heard it. But nothing could prepare her for the actual fact of doing it.

 

As she stepped out on-stage, she let her eyes drift over the first two rows of her friends and family. Kevin held a sleeping Allison, and on either side of him were Krista and Scott, all watching her with wide-eyed interest.

 

"We just have one more act this evening," Mary Beth started softly into a cordless microphone. "I heard this song a bout six months back and kind of adopted it. It's a beautiful old song by the Dixie Chicks.

 

"I know my friends and family are probably freaking right now," she chuckled as she pulled a stool from the back set up to front and center. "They're going; ‘she's gonna sing?' But...well, I love you guys. So pray that I don't biff this."

 

She settled onto the stool and closed her eyes as the soft violin and piano filled the room.

 

I can't find a reason to let go,

Even though you've found a new love

And she's what your dreams are made of

 

I can't find a reason to hang on

What went wrong can be forgiven

Without you it ain't worth livin'

Alone...

 

Sometimes I wake up cryin' at night

And sometimes I scream out your name

What right does she have to take you away

When for so long you were mine...?

 

I took out all the pictures of our wedding day

It was a time of love and laughter

Happy ever after

 

But even those old pictures

Have begun to fade

Please tell me she's not real

And that you're really coming home to stay

 

Sometimes I wake up cryin' at night

And sometimes I scream out your name

What right does she have to take you away

When for so long you were mine...?

 

I can give you two good reasons

To show you love's not blind

She's two and he's four

And you know they adore you

So how can I tell them, you've changed your mind?

 

Sometimes I wake up cryin' at night

And sometimes I scream out your name

What right does she have to take you away

When for so long you were mine...?

 

The last chords of the song drifted through the silent auditorium. Mary Beth wasn't the most fantastic singer in the world. She didn't have the best trained voice, or the most perfect pitch, but she did have the song down. And with it was so much emotion that the crowd was stunned by the amateur.

 

Mary Beth smiled slightly as her gaze locked with Brian's. He smiled and nodded, giving his approval. She let her gaze trail to the seat Kevin occupied, but found it empty...Leigh Anne was holding Allison. As the crowd cheered, she looked around. She had to wait to close...but where was Kevin?

 

"Mary Beth?" a deep voice asked into a mic. He gaze shot up to Kevin walking onto the stage. He heart stopped, as did the crowd. Everyone was silent, watching.

 

"Kevin?" she asked softly, away from her mic.

 

He smiled slightly. "I made a big mistake everyone," he looked out into the audience. "And there's not too much I can do to try and fix it."

 

Mary Beth's hand fluttered to her throat and settled just above her heart as he continued. "I was blind to what I really had," he murmured, still looking out at the crowd. "And I was stupid to let it go. A beautiful wife, a loving family. Gorgeous kids, a steady career," he shook his head.

 

"It's been a really long time since I played or have sung this song," he continued as he stepped over to the piano and settled down. He flipped on the mic that was near the piano and leaned to it. "Mary Beth, I hope you can let me find a way...‘Back to Your Heart..."

 

The piano filled the auditorium, along with Kevin's deep voice;

 

It's not that I can't live without you

It's just that I don't even want to try

Every night I dream about you

Ever since the day I said goodbye

 

If I wasn't such a fool

Right now I'd be holding you

There's nothing that I wouldn't do

Baby if I only knew

 

The words to say

The road to take

To find a way back to your heart

 

What can I do

To get to you

And find a way back to you heart

 

I don't know how it got so crazy

But I'll do anything to set things right

‘Cause your love is so amazing

Baby you're the best thing in my life

 

Let me prove my love it real

And make you feel the way I feel

I promise I would give the world

If you'd only tell me girl

 

The words to say

The road to take

To find a way back to your heart

 

What can I do

To get to you

And find a way back to you heart

 

Give me one more chance

To give my love to you

‘Cause no one on this earth

Loves you like I do

 

Tell me...

 

The words to say

The road to take

To find a way back to your heart

 

What can I do

To get to you

And find a way back to you heart

 

I'd turn back time

To make you mine

And find a way back to your heart

 

I beg and plead

Fall to my knees

To find a way back to your heart

 

These arms of mine

Are open wide

From now until the end of time

 

You are my world

What can I do?

These arms of mine belong to your heart

 

Back to your heart...

 

The crowd erupted as Kevin hit the last chord on the piano. He stood and looked at Mary Beth, who was crying freely---the tears slipped silently down her cheeks. He went to her quickly and took one of her hands.

 

"I made a mistake, Mary Beth," he said softly, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. "I'm so sorry. Can I please? Can I please find a way back to your heart?"

 

"No, Kevin, you can't," she answered, looking him in the eyes. His hand dropped out of hers as he looked dejectedly at the stage floor.

 

"But, Beth---," he started.

 

"No, sh," she lifted his chin with the palm of her hand. "You can't find a way back, because you never left it. I love you Kevin."

 

Tears sprung to Kevin's eyes as he pulled her to him, capturing her lips with his. "I love you, too," he declared as the kiss broke. "You are mine, I am yours."

 

The End

 

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