As Sure As I’m Standing Here

By:  Lara

 

Warm hands crept around Lance’s body, settling against his flat stomach. He felt warm breath against the back of his neck and he slowly opened his eyes. Lance carefully turned around, making sure not to disturb the sleeping beauty behind him.  Lance frowned as he looked at the worry-wrinkles that adorned the forehead of the person in bed with him.

 

Sometimes I look at you, sad and beautiful, young and alone and so far from home…Much too much for you much too soon…empty eyes gazin’ at the moon…

 

 

Lance was homesick. Europe was foreign and scary and new horrors lurked behind every corner.  No one else seemed scared. Even Justin, who was fifteen, seemed to take it all in stride. Lance hated it all. He loved to sing, but he couldn’t dance.  Lou kept getting on his case, and he just knew he was going to be kicked out of the group.

Lance was coming back from a walk when he saw Justin.  Justin was in the hallway outside of his hotel room, leaning his forehead against the wall. Lance stopped short. He thought Justin the most attractive of them all…sexy, pretty and handsome all wrapped up into a talented fifteen-year-old ball of energy.  He heard Justin sniffle and his mouth fell open.

“Justin? Are you okay?”

Justin wiped at his nose, embarrassed. “Yeah, I was just…uh…”

“Wanna come in my room for a bit?” Lance asked shyly.  “The others are all out.”

“Sure.” Justin followed Lance into the room he shared with Joey in this city.  Lance sat on his bed. Justin sat on Joey’s.  “Lou yelled at me,” Justin said finally.

“He yelled at YOU?  For what?”

“He said…well…he said I need to be in the front more. He said that I should be the leader. I tried to say that we’re a group, you know, with five equal parts.”  Justin sniffled again. “And then he yelled and said to shut up, that he knows best.”  A tear crept down Justin’s cheek.  “I’m fifteen, Lance…I don’t want to be a leader. I want…I want…”

“Know what I want?” Lance asked suddenly.  “I want to go home.”

“Me, too,” Justin said. He moved over to Lance’s bed.  “This is all moving so fast. I wanna be home, playing basketball for my school.”

“I wanna stargaze in my backyard,” Lance told him. He lay down on the bed. Justin lay down with him.

“That sounds nice,” Justin said wistfully. “I miss home.”

“Me, too,” Lance replied. He reached over and bravely squeezed Justin’s hand.  “I think you’d make a good leader, Justin. I wish I could sing and dance like you do.”

Justin turned on his side to face Lance. “But you’re so smart, Lance. You get your homework done so fast.”

Lance studied Justin’s face, memorizing every curve and dimple.  “I can help you with your homework…anytime you want.”

“And I’ll help you learn the choreography,” Justin promised.

“I cry myself to sleep sometimes,” Lance said softly.

“Really? Me, too,” Justin admitted.  “I love you guys, but I get lonely.”

“If you ever need anyone…you know…come get me. Even at three in the morning,” Lance said, blushing. “I’ll help if I can.”

“Thanks, Lance,” Justin whispered.  He continued to look at Lance until he finally fell asleep.

 

As sure as I’m standing here…you’ll never have to be afraid…as sure as I’m standing here…I’ll try and help you find your way…oh, I swear, as sure as I’m standing here…you’ll never need to be alone…you’ve got my word…as sure as I’m standing here

 

 

Lance reached up and touched the curls that were slowly growing back.  Justin murmured in his sleep, scrunching down under the covers until he was barely visible.  His arms were still snaked around Lance, and Lance smiled.  Justin slept like some sort of leech, trying to get as close as humanly possible.  Lance ran his hand through the curls, trying to erase the worry from Justin’s face.  The sun was sneaking through the blinds, and one thin ray seemed to illuminate Justin’s head like a halo. Lance sighed. This was his angel. This was the way it was supposed to be.

But unfortunately it wasn’t always like this.  Instead of getting easier, it had only gotten harder as they got more and more famous.  There was less free time, and any time they could get was precious.  Since the months in Europe, Justin and Lance had only gotten closer, and Lance had done everything in his power to protect the younger man.

 

Sometimes I look at you, sleepin’ like a baby…your hair combed with sunlight, full of sweet days…you say nothin’ matters, say, you know how it is…did you think it would be like this?

 

 

“I still can’t get over the fact that all these people show up to see us,” Joey commented during a commercial break. They were at MTV to celebrate the debut of their CD “No Strings Attached” and everyone was going crazy.  “This is nuts!”

“Get used to it,” Chris mumbled. He waved at the window. “That’s right, girls.  Wave at me.  From down there, you think I’m Justin, but it’s all good.”

“Shut up, Chris,” Justin mumbled as the makeup girl checked his face.  He looked over at Lance. “I’m sure there are people out there for the rest of you, too.”

“Justin…I’m gonna talk about the Britney rumor, okay?”  Dave said.  Justin frowned.

“No.”  He picked at the knee of his jeans.

“Isn’t there something more relevant we could talk about?” Lance asked. “He did a TV movie. Can’t you mention that?”  Justin shot Lance a grateful look.

“Sure, Lance, whatever,” Dave said, shrugging.

 

“Why don’t you come out about it?” JC said as they climbed into the limo.

“Come out about what?” Justin almost yelled.

“About you and Britney. We all know you’re a thing.”

“You know how it is…it’s all part of the glamour and glitz, Jayce. They want me to have a sexy girlfriend, so I have one,” Justin said, staring out the window.  “It’s easier than telling the truth.”

“What’s the truth?” Chris wanted to know.

“None of your business,” Lance said. “If he wanted you to know, he’d have told you already.”  Lance was rewarded with one of Justin’s grateful smiles.

“Lance, can I talk to you for a minute before we get dinner?” Justin asked as they went out of the elevator onto their floor.

“Sure,” Lance said.  He closed his door behind them. “What’s up?”

“About Britney,” Justin said. “God, I didn’t know it would be like this! I didn’t know that everyone would talk about it. Why the hell do they care about what I do?”

“Justin, look at yourself. You’re Justin Timberlake.  You’re the one the girls love, and any news about you is big news.” Lance put a comforting hand on Justin’s arm.  “Just pick a story and stick with it.”

Justin picked up Lance’s hand and held it. “What if I don’t want Britney?”

“What?” Lance whispered.

“What if I don’t want her?” Justin repeated. He kissed Lance’s palm. “Maybe I want the one who’s always been there for me all these years?”

“Justin…” Lance said, stepping away.  This wasn’t happening.

Justin’s face fell. “I thought maybe you’d…every time I’m scared or afraid or worried…you were there for me, Lance. And it’s only recently that I have come to see why. Because you love me that much.  And I love you, too.”  Justin sighed. “But if I was wrong…I’m sorry and…”

“Oh, Justin…I swear to you as sure as I’m standing here…you’re absolutely right,” Lance sighed.  Justin smiled and put his arms around Lance.

 

But sure as I’m standing here…you’ll never have to be afraid…as sure as I’m standing here…I’ll try and help you find your way…oh, I swear, as sure as I’m standing here, you’ll never need to be alone…you’ve got my word, as sure as I’m standing here…oh, I swear, as sure as I’m standing here…

 

 

“You’re watching me sleep again,” Justin said softly.  Lance smiled.

“I can’t help it. You look like an angel laying here.  Like my sweet baby boy.  But you look worried.”

“I am. I’m afraid, Lance. What if they laugh at me?”

“They probably will…and they’ll say hateful things about you, me, all of us. But we can handle it.”

“I want the world to know that what they believed wasn’t the truth,” Justin said. “I want to tell them about us.”

“Then we’ll tell them. And you won’t be doing it alone.  You’ll walk up to the microphone, and you’ll say the words, but I’ll be right there with you.”  Lance kissed Justin’s nose.  “Just like I have been for three years.”

“I love you, Lance,” Justin sighed, burrowing himself in the safety of Lance’s arms.

“I love you, too.”  Lance kissed Justin’s forehead.

The End

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