The Song Remembers When
© 2001, JulieOh
I was standing at the counter / I was waiting for
the change / When I heard that old familiar music start / It was like a lighted
match / Had been tossed into my soul / It was like a dam had broken in my heart
I wandered the aisles of
the tiny convenience store, staring at the shelves. An old radio behind the
front counter strained to fill the dead air with music from the local country
station, the sound tinny in the afternoon heat. What did I want.... Pringles....
Doritos.... chocolate bars.... ooo, gum.... Hmmm, what flavour....
"Hey Lance, can you
buy these for me?" Justin shoved a bag of sour cream & onion chips
into my hands.
"What?"
"I left my wallet
on the bus. You've got money, right?" He backed away from me and out the
door, not waiting for my answer. Sure, Justin, I've got money. Sure, Justin,
I'll cover you. *sigh* I watched him tackle Chris halfway to the busses,
laughing as our older friend was forced to piggyback him the rest of the way
there. Oh, to be that young again. Wait, I am almost that young. Damn, when did
I start feeling so old?
Where was I again?
Right. Gum. I blindly grabbed a package from the shelf and smiled when I saw
the grape wrapping in my hand. Good choice. I headed up to the cash register at
the front of the store, where Joey was already standing. I deposited my gum and
Justin's chips on the counter beside Joey's small mountain of junk food and
reached around for my wallet.
"Geez, Joe, how do
you eat all that shit?"
"What? Who knows
when our next stop will be? I have to stockpile."
"Right." I
knew most of it would be gone within an hour or two.
Joey took the plastic
bag from the outstretched hands of the man behind the counter and thanked him.
He hip-checked me on his way past to the door.
"See ya on the
bus!"
"Yeah, I'll just be
a minute." I turned my attention to the elderly clerk.
"That'll be three
fifty-two," he said to me, his voice shaky and his eyes a little blurry
behind his thick glasses.
I handed him a five out
of my wallet and waited while he opened the till and slowly counted out my
change. The song on the tired radio behind him changed, the tempo slowing with
the first strains of piano filtering through. I blinked, momentarily fazed.
Something about this song.... I knew it, but from where? I hadn't heard it in
years. Not since..... Claire.....
After taking every detour, getting lost and losing
track / So that even if I wanted, I could not find my way back / After driving
out the memory of the way things might have been / After I'd forgotten all
about us, the song remembers when
Claire.... My God, I
hadn't thought about her in ages. I'd tried not to. Not after.... after what? I
couldn't even remember anymore why it ended between us. Well, I'm sure I could
if I tried, but I had a feeling I didn't want to try. When *was* the last time
I heard this song???
We were rolling through the Rockies, we were up
above the clouds / When a station out of Jackson played that song / And it
seemed to fit the moment / And the moment seemed to freeze / When we turned the
music up and sang along
**flashback**
"Happy
Birthday!" I placed my hands over Claire's eyes from behind, startling her
a little, but she quickly relaxed and folded her hands over mine. She leaned back
slightly.... God, I loved how she fit against me...
"Lance!" she
squealed. "What are you doing?"
"Just wait a
second..." I moved my hands so one was covering both her eyes, and used
the other to pull something out of my jacket pocket. I held that hand out in
front of her and removed the other so she could see. "Ta daa!"
She gasped. "Train
tickets! To where?"
"Anywhere. Nowhere.
Doesn't matter." I turned her around in my arms and wrapped my hands
around her waist. She looked up at me.... her eyes were such a perfect shade of
blue... "I heard the line that runs from here through the Rockies and back
again has an amazing view. I thought we could take a vacation together."
She beamed, her eyes
sparkling. I remember now how the light used to glint against them when she was
really happy. She rose on her tiptoes to kiss me quickly. "Thank you,
sweetie! But when will we go?" The sparkle died a little. "Don't you
have to be back soon?"
We had just gotten back
from Europe then, and things were only barely starting to take off. We were
being kept busy, but nothing like how it is now. A few gigs here and there,
some studio time.... we'd heard rumours they might be talking to Disney about a
special. I shook my head and smiled at her.
"They've cleared me
for two weeks. I'm all yours."
The view from the train
*was* amazing. We'd grown up practically up the road, but neither of us had
ever been up into the mountains quite like this. We were there for three days,
and we only took our noses from the windows long enough to eat and sleep, it
seemed. The sunsets were the best.
Music was always playing
through speakers in all the cars, and one night, after dinner, strains of slow
piano music flowed clearly overhead, and I smiled. We both loved this song. I
started signing along softly, practically whispering in her ear, and she
giggled, shrugging away from the tickling feeling. She started singing too,
both of us staring out the window at the colours slowly changing in the sky.
She turned to look at me, and we sang louder, until some of the other
passengers were looking at us strangely. We didn't care; we laughed through our
words until the song was over, then turned back to the spectacle outside, not
saying anything. We didn't need to.
And there was a God in Heaven, and the world made
perfect sense / We were young and were in love and we were easy to convince /
We were headed straight for Eden, it was just around the bend / And though I
have forgotten all about it, the song remembers when
It seemed like nothing
could touch us up there, so far away from everything. In a way, it was true, at
least for those few days. I had never been happier than on that train, and I
had never been more sure of my future. Or so I thought.
**end flashback**
I guess something must have happened and we must
have said goodbye / And my heart must have been broken / Though I can't recall
just why / The song remembers when
The creaky old man
behind the counter cleared his throat lightly, startling me out of my daze.
"Oh, sorry..."
I mumbled, taking the money he was holding out to me.
He smiled, as if he knew
exactly what was going on in my mind. "Pretty song, eh?" I nodded,
and he nodded back. "Lot of old memories..." I wasn't sure if he was
talking about himself or about me. "So what happened?"
He had almost whispered
it, and I wasn't sure he'd even spoken, except he seemed to be waiting for me
to say something.
"Uh... I'm not
sure." I shrugged. I really wasn't sure. I'd had to go back to Orlando, of
course, I knew that much. But after that.... We'd really exploded then. Had my
fame gotten to be too much for her? Was it simply the distance? Or had she
found someone else, someone who could give her what I couldn't? The clerk still
seemed to be waiting for more from me. I shrugged again. "I think her
family moved away." Yeah, maybe that was it. He seemed to be satisfied by
the answer, in any case, because he nodded.
"Yunh, that
happens," he muttered, still nodding to himself. "People move, people
change, nothing ever stays the same...." He turned away from me then,
going back to his stool in the corner, muttering on about how things used to
be. Don't I know it.
Well, for all the miles between us / And for all
the time that's passed / You would think I haven't gotten very far / And I hope
my hasty heart will forgive me just this once / If I stop to wonder how on
earth you are
What *did* happen? As
much as I knew I'd pushed it out of my mind for a reason, it was bugging me
now. Maybe I should call Mom. She'd remember. Maybe she'd even know where
Claire was now, what she was doing. My thoughts were interrupted by the bell
clanging above the door. Joey poked his head in.
"Lance, hey, come
on, we're waiting for you."
"Huh? Oh, sorry.
I'm done here, I'm coming." I turned to look back at the clerk again. He
wasn't paying attention to us any more, and the radio had moved on to a newer,
faster tune. Yeah, I was definitely done here.
But that's just a lot of water underneath the
bridge I burned / And there's no use in backtracking around corners I have
turned / Still I guess some things we bury are just bound to rise again / For
even if the whole world has forgotten, the song remembers when / Even if the
whole world has forgotten, the song remembers when
The End
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