The Chair     

by Jules

   I’ve lived in many households and have been sold numerous times. This house was not a first for me. He bought me at a rummage sale. He admired how sturdy I was, the grain of my wood, and the simpleness of my design. Wolfgang Cheerable took me home and placed me in a corner of the bedroom. It was a cozy corner with no drafts so I was content. I think he bought me for a reason but I had on idea what it was. That was until I met Emily.

He carried her over the threshold of the bedroom on their first night as a married couple in their new apartment. “Wolfie! I love this apartment,” she cooed at him. When she looked in my direction her nose wrinkled in distaste. “What an ugly chair.” I would’ve laughed if I could have. She was so cute standing with her hands on her hips, nose wrinkled and foot tapping.
 

It’s not ugly Emmie. I think it has character. It’s rather old too. Who knows what stories this chair could tell.”
 

“But it’s so plain Wolfie. Get rid of it.” I saw the willful streak in that statement. She was going to be fun. This quiet seeming man would have his hands full.
 

“I know it’s plain, but it serves a purpose. My parents always had a chair like this in their bedroom. Besides I like it.” I could see her glare at my plainness after all I wasn’t a fancy chair. Just a plain, old-fashioned straight-backed chair. I was built for durability. “I know it’s not to your taste. You can change anything you like about the apartment but this chair stays.” He said that with a definite tone of finality.
 

“You’re attached to THAT chair?” She started giggling. “Okay Wolfie. Keep your old ugly chair but I get to change everything else.” So all went well that first night.
 

Well a housekeeper Emmie wasn’t. I was piled high with dirty clothes the first night. She dumped the contents of their suitcase right on top of me! That was fine at the moment. I figured they should get to spend their first night in their apartment without an audience. The clothes obscured my view and they had all the privacy they needed.
 

“Emmie? What’s this all over the chair?”
 

“Our dirty clothes silly from our honeymoon. I have to wash them later.”
 

“Emmie I want this chair kept clear.”
 

“What? Did you say something honey?”
 

“I said, I WANT THIS CHAIR KEPT CLEAR!” I saw her jump at the tone and volume of his command. Hey I would have jumped too if I could have. Although she jumped, she still did not move to remove the clothes. Obviously she was used to his raising his voice.
 

“Yes Wolfie. I’ll clean it right away.” She did have a sweet smile after all. I can see why he just hugged her and went on his way.
That night I could hear arguing outside the bedroom. I couldn’t hear what it was about, but I knew they were headed in my direction so I could wait. The door burst open. For a small woman, she had a good arm. The door hit the wall, swung back and almost hit him in the face.
 

“Emmie this is ridiculous. My mother was being very nice. She just wanted you to have a few of my favorite recipes. All you had to do was say, Thank you, and stick them in a drawer somewhere.” I could see he was trying to keep himself under control.
 

“She’s a bitch! She thinks I can’t cook. You told her that!” Recipe cards went flying as she hurled them at him. His face was definitely getting red now.
 

“Emmie! Pick those up now!”
 

“Pick them up yourself! They’re from your precious mother!” There was a definite sneer on her face now. This could turn ugly really fast. I wished I could see more, but the clothes were still there. I heard the door slam and footsteps going down the stairs. All was quiet. Then I heard the soft sobs coming from the bed. Poor kids. Their second night and they were already sleeping apart.

I was woke up the next morning by a flash of lights as the blinds were being opened. “Get up you lazy bum! The sun is shining Emmie. Let’s do something today.” Well he was in a better mood this morning. And I’d been cleaned off. I could see again!
 

“Wolfie. Go to hell.”
 

“You’re not still mad, are you?”
 

“No. I’m just tired. Let me wake up. You are such a pain in the morning.”
 

“Well I have your coffee right here so you can start waking up.”
 

He set the tray with coffee on the bed. Just then the phone rang, Emmie groaned “Who’s calling us at this ungodly hour?” and picked up the phone. Wolfie chuckled since it was ten in the morning.
 

I was getting a bad feeling as I watched Emmie’s face. She seemed to be working up to something while she listened on the phone. Wolfie seemed to sense it too because he kept trying to get her attention. She waved him off. Then she uttered two words, “Fuck off.” Then handed Wolfie the phone. Wolfie went white then red. He gave Emmie a hard look and left the room. When he came back he was composed. Emmie lay on the bed looking at the ceiling.
 

“My mother was trying to apologize Emmie.” This was met with silence. “We need to talk about this.” Still silence. I was beginning to wonder how they’d resolve this. She looked determined not to talk.
 

“Well if you won’t talk, I’ll tell you what I think. I think you were childish and rude. You owe my mother an apology now. She called to apologize to you for last night and you cut her off. That was inexcusable.”
 

A soft laugh came from the bed. That laugh started to get louder. This was going to mean trouble. I could tell the way air changed in the room. “Emmie do NOT laugh!”
 

“I’ll laugh if and when I want! And there’s not one fucking thing you can do about it!”
 

Then something peculiar happened. I found myself sitting in the middle of the room. He had gone over to the bed and practically lifted her off it and to her feet. It’s kind of amazing. He wasn’t that big of a man and he sure had a lot of hidden strength.
 

Then he’s sitting on me. He really had a bony butt! I’d had bony butts on me before but this one was the boniest. Oh Emmie’s sitting on me too. Hmmm. Not sitting actually…….oh oh…..I’d seen this before. She’s grabbing my legs and I know what that means.
 

“So I can’t do anything about it?” SMACK! SMACK!
 

“Wolfie let me up now! This is not funny.” I caught a glimpse of his face. He wasn’t going to let her up too soon. I knew that look of satisfaction and determination. Many women had been spanked over me. So I knew what was going to happen. I just wish these women wouldn’t yell quite so loud. One of these days one of them is going to splinter me. Just hope it’s not Emmie.
 

“I’ll let you up once you admit you were rude to my mother. You acted childishly. You’ve been acting childishly to me too. Things are going to change around here and they’re changing now!” SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
 

Oh she is mad! She’s not liking this at all. Well I didn’t expect her to. But I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so mad before. “Wolfie let me up. NOW!!!!” Boy her voice bounced off the wall and right back at us. I swear the wood is splintered on my back. But he continues smacking her bottom while she kicks and tries to get free of his grip.
 

“Wolfie let’s talk about this.”
 

“You had your chance. You preferred to laugh. You’re not laughing now.” He said as he proceeded to pull up her nightgown. “Aha! No panties.”
 

She tries to reach back and pull down her nightgown only to find her arm pinned to her back.
 

Now the kicking and the swearing and the pounding on my legs begins. Oh the names she called him. She almost scorched one of my legs. I  didn’t know ladies knew that many swear words. SMACK! SMACK! His hand bounced off her bottom leaving a red glow.
 

“WOLFIE!!! STOPPPPP!!!!” Poor thing. He didn’t stop. SMACK! SMACK! He smacked a perfect oval that went just to the top of her thighs, up over one cheek, down the other cheek to the thigh again. He took his time and made sure he covered the area thoroughly. I could peek under his arm and get clear view. He was doing a good job.
 

Her bursts of anger were slowing down finally. But I could tell his hand was beginning to hurt. That’s when he spotted it. The wooden hairbrush on the dresser was just out of reach. He was hesitating because he might have a to fight to get her back over his knee if he let her up. But if he tilted back in me carefully, he’d be able to reach it. Well that’s what he did. My wood creaked for days after that. I’m not a young chair anymore.
 

“WOLFIE!! Don’t do that! You scared me. This old chair can’t take that.” Well of all the nerve! Hmph! I held up just fine young lady. Well he better use that hairbrush because this one was not going to be easy. She certainly needed to learn some manners.
Well her tone changed when that hairbrush smacked her left cheek. But before she could say a word, another SMACK! hit her right cheek. He was working fast now. The hairbrush came down on her hot cheeks again and again. Not till he turned her bottom a dark red and she was begging, pleading and promising to be good, did he finally stop.
 

He let her up and sat her on his lap. She didn’t seem to like this too much. I know the ladies before her always used a pillow when sitting on me. But Emmie’s bottom was so red and hot; I was worried she’d ignite my wood. So I was relieved he sat her on his lap.
 

“I’m sorry Wolfie. I was rude to your mom. I’ll call her.” She laid her head on his chest, while he cradled her in his arms.
 

“I know you will. You can do it tomorrow. There’s one thing. We need to talk about your language……………”