Rule #1:  If you've sat for a respectable amount of time, and have not been waited on, wait no more.  Snap your fingers, wave, psst, or holler!  We refuse to be responsible for bum service because you have an introverted personality.  We don't discount the check because of poor service, so why should you discount your aggravation?

Rule #2:   We have a large and unusual array of drinks!  If you should order a unique drink that you had on your honeymoon, and it doesn't taste the same..... don't complain.   Things taste different on a honeymoon, and anyways the honeymoon's over, buster!

Rule #3: (Check Cashing) the management will accept your check, providing you leave your dinner guest, watch, fur coat, or car keys and registration as collateral, wives or husbands are not acceptable; in other words - No Checks!