Mary had a little skirt
With splits right up the sides
And every time that Mary walked,
The boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt
'Twas split right up the front...
But she didn't wear that one very often.

***
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men
Said "Screw him. He's only an egg."

***
Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its ass
And turned its wool to nylon.

***
Georgie Porgy pudding and pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them, too, 'cause he was gay.

***
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Jill, that dill, forgot her pill,
And now they have a son.

***
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over,
Rover took over
And slipped in a bone of his own.

***
Little Boy Blew.
Hey. He needed the money.