Travis: Two things I know: Women and strays.
Wes: I am way too hungry to be mature about something like this.
Travis: No, he just carries his dog around like a man purse.
Wes: You hate it--- Which makes me like it more.
Travis [about Wes]: Damn, you go girl.
Wes: Your whole life is a special circumstance.
Travis: So who's up for spanking?
Wes: You go through staplers almost as fast as you go through women.
Travis: Everyone is guilty until proven innocent.
Wes: Yeah, that's right. I just broke a glass for no apparent reason!
Travis: See, he waived his right to be sober.
Wes: Travis, I do not own an ascot. Why would you even put that in the
Wes: Travis you say one word and I will kill you where you're sitting.
Wes: Let's have a drink and talk about it while the suspect escapes.
Wes: Completely therapized and ready to move on.
Wes: Travis does drive me nuts sometimes. I mean there are sometimes
I'd like to take him where they won't find the body. You know what I
mean? But he's my partner. Only I'm allowed to talk about him like
that. You don't know him: what's he's done or what he's capable of
doing. So you should just shut the hell up. That's some professional
advice for you.
Captain: They are the yin to each others' yang. I hope you have a trick
up your sleeve to unite their chi.
Wes: We are not gay
Travis: We are partners
Wes: Police Detectives
Therapy member: Like The Village People?
Travis: Should we be worried or ignore the problem and hope it goes
Wes: I'm a fan of the second approach.
Wes: Bone them back.
Travis: Twice as hard.
Travis: If you tell me she is a no-fly zone then I will let it go.
That's Bro Code.
Wes: I am not sure about the parameters of this whole Bro code.
Travis: Does this look like the headquarters of a high-end car
smuggling ring to you?
Wes: No, this looks like a place where you write a manifesto and plot
against the government.
Wes: You can take the joy out of anything.
Travis: Thank you.
Travis: You ever get tired of being you?
Wes: Occasionally, but somebody's gotta do it.
Wes: I see what you did there. You laid a little trap for me.
Travis: You keep lobbin' 'em up and I keep shootin' 'em home.
Travis: People on ecstasy don't even like you.
Wes: That's rude.