Saturday July 1

How time flies. Its already the first of July. Next month back to school wahala. Seyi told me about a party at Kenilworth today. I'm not going. First of all, they charge you $10.00.Then in the middle of the party around 3a.m or 4a.m when we are getting down to the oldies. I love the oldies. Some people start fighting. Diary I tell you every time! Over "Iyawo mi" or something and then the party breaks up and we all have to go. Thats like my best time of a party when we start dancing all those old moves like "shuffle" and "fork and knife" to music like "silent morning". Hmm, takes me way back. Anyway, I'll rather go to Republic Garden with Charles.

Monday 3

Pepublic Garden was fine. We stopped at one of Charles' friend's house. Thats somehing I absolutely hate to do but Charles promised that it was only for a few minutes. Diary guess who I saw there? I saw Obioma draped around one female that was certainly not Ada. The girl looked slightly familiar. Suffice to say, she looked like that girl I saw in Obioma's car. Na wa oh! Does Ada know about this? I heard somewhere that a good man is an oxymoron. I don't know if they were referring to mankind as a whole or just the menfolks but I'll choose the latter. Why is it so hard for men to be faithful? And to think they justify it talking about about primal urges and stuff. I will bust some one's lip the next time I hear that. No conscience, thats what it is. When they get a woman, they like sleeping with the housegirl, sleeping with her best friend maybe even her sister. What kind of rats are men? The lowliest ones I believe. I just hurried Charles into the car and we went home. Me to mine, him to his. Odabo!

Tuesday 4

Its fourth of July! Hurray. Not that I really do any celebrating but what I would really like to do if I had a partner and the time was go downtown and watch the fireworks. Its really, really nice. But Charles is working and I wouldn't go because its all fun and good going but coming back, you will swear never to do it again. Firstly, if you're driving, ha,ha you will spend the rest of the night there and the metro is filled to the brim. Its so packed, you can't even breath. Mba, mba not tonight. Got a letter from my Nigerian toaster today. He doesn't even know me and he is talking about marriage. Marriage, this all-important thing and somebody will marry anybody just to get to America? What if the rest of your life with that person is miserable? I mean I know some people that are living that out. Marry somebody just cos he/she lives in America and then regret. Oh boy go and sit down. Life in Nigeria is very hard but don't sell your soul for a bowl of soup.

Wednesday 5

Kevin and I talked all day at my job. My take on crushes is this ... a mild form of hero worship. I like the person from afar, I imagine the person gets up to very cool things and I just let my imagination zoom. I really don't want to know that person up close because I know the person will surely fall short of my expectations. I just like the person at a distance as some sort of perfection. No faults, so basically I don't want to deepen our relationship just keep it the way it is. Then again that boy is FYNE! But thats that. So we talked and talked and I knew it was going nowhere. He's American, out of my league. As a matter of fact way out of my league. He wants to be a singer. Thank God not rap though! R&Bs. Isn't that cool? Hmm, R&B. Serenade me away boy! You see how I am? Just dreaming away. What if his voice is awful? Well when all is said and done, he's a very nice person though. Yes, the freak in me comes out when I see him. I admit that.>

Thursday Things you don't know and learn eventually. I always used to wonder what all the fuss about keeping journals or diaries was. Now I've found out. Its extremely therapeutic. Yes it is. When you let it all out, you feel better, free even. Yes, just like the soda and pimple thing. I used to wonder the connection between them but now I know. Cutting back on the soda improves your skin. Found that out myself. I'm resolving to keep an open mind from now on. Ihad a good day though. Minimum fuss although my supervisor is getting a bit cranky. She said to me last night "You're on your own time aren't you?" Damn right, I am. Come in when I want and basically go home when I want. I'm an anarchist. Didn't she know that? Don't mind me. She's supernice. Lets me get away with murder. Thanks Sarah! On the whole, its been a very nice summer and I'm glad. Cos last summer almost had me freaking out. It was so hot! Hmmm.

Friday 7

Almost got into trouble at work today. This psycho lady that works there, hit me with a rack. Maybe accidentally, maybe not and had the nerve to tell me instead of apologizing that it was my fault. I almost hit her! But I had to settle for yelling at her. The supervisors came over and broke up the fight. I'm not even worried about it. That lady, hmm she's one of them. Those proverbial fly in the ointment. She's quarrelled with everybody in the building. I think she's bipolar. One day she all over somebody, so nice and the next day, she's the witch of Eastwick. I just keep away from her, I can't deal with her multiple personality. Got so many things to do I don't know where to start.

Sunday 9

Procrasination is the thief of time. Whoever said that must have had me in mind. I'm the world's biggest procrastinator. If its not last minute, you can trust me not to do it. Imagine its effect on my life diary. If not for God, I think I would have been out on the streets by now. My FAFSA is the last to go in, I'm the last person to sign my promissory note and always the last person to turn in an assignment or not do it at all. I really need to shake that off. Shake it off. I like that. I was talking to my friend one day about my procrastinating and she said to me, "Look girl, you need to shake it off". That left a kinda mark on me. So every time I have something to do and I'm wasting time, I say to myself, "Shake it off girl", sometimes it works. Other times, I just pull up the covers over my head and go back to sleep. I sure need help. Didn't go to work yesterday. My supervisor is going to be mad at me. Can't help it though, its the procrastinator in me. Hmm that sounds good. I'll use that some more.

Monday 10

Its Monday again. Boo-hoo. Diary how can you tell you have been to a particular eating place too much? When the workers there have a name for you. Guess what, I went into my favorite IHOP(International House Of Pancakes) today and I was like "hmm I want to try something new today" to the server and she goes "Oh really, that right. You're the T-bone lady, thats what we call you here" Oh, excuse me! Starting when? (as we used to say in Nigeria) No, no, no. What is wrong with that picture? Ok, I know I like my T-bone steak(well-done) always with my pancakes but that ain't no need to call me that! I was actually a little pissed and wanted to leave no tip but I changed my mind. Since they know me well enough to name me, they must have also noticed how stingy I am with my tips. So shamefacedly, I left 2 bucks. Go figure. I'm upset and I give her two dollars. How ironic. I must be missing a nut or two in the head department.>


it's amazing.Just when you think you've got it altogether. Somebody's few words shatters your world. Anyway I got some interesting mail today.I hope tomorrow will be better. I'm trying out my new voice software. It will have to do better than this. Ada called me today and she was complaining about Obioma. I cannot get involved. I mean relationships are strange. Its a world of its own and everything outside that is alien. So I best leave them alone.

Thursday 13

I used to love the instant message thing but now, its starting to get on my nerves. Just as I log on and try to do some work, all my "friends" start "messaging" me. I sometimes have to appear offline, if not I will get no work done. But I still love you all, friends. One thing that has being bothering me this week and other days too is this AIDS in Africa thing. I am so worried because knowing our dear continent, oh its so very true. Not because of lax moral values as some shitty people are thinking but because of our penchant for sharing. I remember in my high school clinic, they used to boil(sterilize) the needles before using them again. Things like that are what I'm talking about. The barber's shop, the clippers they use, how many people actually sterilize those equipment? And to the more important issue, what is to be done? I don't think I need to explain the effects of AIDS wiping out a third of our population. That is basically a plague. We really need to come together and do something. The answer lies with and within us.

Friday 14

Well ats least thank God today is not Friday the 13th. I have been having a lot of coincidences this week. Firstly, I was thinking about using the bible as a background for my next project so I pick upu the bible and start reading to get as much info as I can when my summer school class was cancelled and I had to take "The bible as Literature" as a replacement. I hope it works out well. Then , I start reminiscing about back in the day. Uni days in Naija and I just start thinking about the last guy I dated at the school. His name was Kristo. Yes that was how it was spelled. He had this ear rattling, annoying American accent which was fake. Why did I go out with him? My boyfriend had just graduated and was posted to Yobe and when he was around, he took up all my time so when he left, I was like a fish out of water. All my friends had become used to not seeing me for long periods and stopped including me in their activities. So when the bobo left, my friends that had the good sense not to date a final year student were rocking with their men and I was boboless. Kristo had been toasting me since like a few weeks after I got into the school so a combination of boredom and stupidity made me date him. Stupid because he was my classmate. It did not work out from the word go and when he started seeing one "bush meat"(sorry, if you do not know what tht means, you did not grow up in Naija!) that was the last straw. Luckily for me, the next semester I left the school. Well, I'm reminiscing, thinking about those crazy brothers of ours, Apache (whose real name was Victor Okoronkwo), Ettah(imitation Snoop Dogg), Udosen(fine as shit),Ini and Ani, Tiny, Osato and the rest of them and I'm having such a good time. Walked past the table and see an envelop with my name on it. You can always recognise naija envelop and behold it was a letter from Kristo! What? I did pick up the mail myself and I did not see it. Where did it come from and as for the contents, naija man na naija man.

Monday 17

Ubiquity. Beautiful word. Best description for us nigerians. We are really everywhere. I decided to take a class at a nearby community college and how many nigerians are there in the class? Five including me. What are the odds? In summer school, one class, five nigerians. I liked it though. Personally, I'm one of those people that enjoy having Nigerians around me. A lot of people, I have noticed, start acting strange when they see fellow nigerians. I mean lookie here, I can identify 90% of the time a Nigerian so stop trying to act like you don't know me. Lets just say hi and pass, I did not ask to live in your house or to borrow money from you so whats up? But then again, like Derek my friend says, "Who knows why they do what they do, when they do what they do" Me, I no sabi.

Thursday 20

Somebody say pay day! I love the sound of that. So its been a very exhausting few days but what can I say? Man must suffer. Trying to get to get in contact with some school mates back in Naija. As for the Nigerian Western Union, they are a trip. Thats all I have to say about them.

Saturday 22

I love my job, I really do. But one freaks me out. Its the way people appear and disappear at my job. I mean there has been cases of people disappearing for 3yrs and more and reappear one day as if nothing happened and continue working and they don't lose their job or nothing. What can I say? Only in America! So lately I notice one of my favorite people hasn't been showing up. Though he was just a casual worker just for temporary purposes, he was supposed to be there. I asked somebody and guess what? Somebody accused him of sexual harrassment and he was escorted off the premises. Now this sexual harrassment thingie is one big bone. It comprises of many things and a lot of things. How to prove it? Vey hard. Many people have been victims of sexual harrassment, knowingly or unknowingly including yours truly. What is to be done? Zero tolerance thats what. Soon as you see the signs, report to whoever is in charge. Don't hesitate, just do it. Now don't go about using that as a weapon, use it wisely. Be honest. Not when you are flirting with the person and you don't want the person anymore you say "Sexual harrrassment" or the person don't want you anymore "Sexual harrassment. Use it wisely. A word is enough for the wise.

Monday, 24

Hmm the dentist. I have a big problem, major one in fact. I am cavity ridden. I admit it. A mixture of genetics, nigerian dentists and sweets have left me a contestant in the cavities for life race. Therefore I have to see my dentist regularly. Poor guy, he did not know the battle involved. He took one look at my mouth and said "I'm gonna work on you girl" I was happy but when that drill comes near my mouth, I'm about to run for cover. Still its a necessary evil. My appointment is next week and I'm already shaking. Pray for me.

Thursday 27

I really do not believe in horoscopes though I check it whenever I see a newspaper or magazine or something just to laugh. So on Tuesday I look at my horoscope and it talks about me getting some money. Of course I scoff thinking "yeah right, someone's going to give me a million bucks" but surprisingly, I come home and my financial aid award letter has arrived. Now considering when I turned in my FAFSA thats speedy and though not really the kind of money I was thinking about but it still fits the bill. Hey gotta check my horoscope every day now

Sunday 30

Another month end. How time flies. Cellphones. How we need them and how they kill us. Okay. The next time somebody sitting next to me on the bus wipes out his/her cellphone to use, I will seize it. Oh, for sure. Okay? For sure. I get on this bus, this pseudo akata is talking to a guy on the phone. From what I deduced from the conversation, the guy on the other end wanted my girl right beside me to give him her credit card to use to buy a shirt. G.A.M.E! Brother was running his game on her and she was all like "only 35dollars, only 35dollars". The bus was full to the brim and almost 50 people could hear all she had to say. About the money in her savings account to her bra size. I don tire.How can you carry on such a conversation in the bus? How about "wait, hon let me get off the bus, I call you right back?" Its time to get our priorities straight. I know I could never do that on a bus.

Monday 31

Things are not so cool for me right now. I'm sad. It feels like everything that could go wrong has decided to, now. But being me, the great rationalizer, I see it this way. Problems are like being in a storm. The only thing to do is "Do Nothing!" What I mean is when something you cannot control comes up, don't freak out. I am just going to hold on to this little me inside of me and close my eyes. I know the storm will be over eventually and then I will open my eyes and move on.