Forever Mine

By: Michelle

Laura slowly eased the door shut behind her and then out of habit, locked it and set the security system.  Sighing deeply, she leaned against the wood frame and allowed the forlorn silence of the house to envelope her.  "Figures, alone as usual."

She pushed herself away from the door, and gingerly removed her shoes; silly strappy bits of vinyl molded together for the sole purpose of glorifying beauty - screw the comfort factor.  She wiggled her stiff toes before solemnly walking down the hall with a soft sigh.  Not even a night out of continuous dancing with old friends could lift her spirits these days.  Her heart hung heavy, as it had been doing so for the last three months.

"Where have you been?"

His unexpected presence startled her and she dropped her purse and shoes.

Her eyes widened and her heartbeat escalated in fear.  "What are you doing here?  Are you okay? Where's your car?" 

"I live here, Laura.  Remember?  You are my wife."  His voice was low, his words clipped.

For the briefest moment, her heart soared.  Was that concern in his eyes?  Fear, masked by anger, in his voice?  This was, after all, the first time in weeks that he had come home to an empty house.  She was always there, fighting off sleep until she knew he was home, safe and sound.

A slight tilt of her head and she quickly took in his appearance.  Dark eyes glassy, soft hair mussed and unruly, silk shirt askew, buttons missing, his loose pants wrinkled.  She instantly knew where he had come from. . . another's bed.

"Only when it's convenient for you, AJ, so don't try to lay a guilt trip on me." Resignation crept back into her voice, quelling the anxiety.  He didn't come home to be with her. . .

"What the hell are you talking about?" He slammed the glass that was clenched tightly in his grip back down onto the bar; it's contents splashing haphazardly across the gleaming dark wood. He had been frightened when he'd come home to an empty house.  She was supposed to be there, feigning sleep until he crawled in next to her and then her arms would go around him and hold him so securely.  "Answer my question!"

"Do I ever get a full report of where you've been?"  Her soft voice cracked from the rising ache in her heart.  Here stood the man she vowed to love forever, and she would love him forever, no doubt, but the realization over the last several weeks that he just didn't love her like he loved another, crushed her very soul.

With a quick shake of her head, she regained her composure. "Please, I'm tired.  I've had a long day and night and I'm going to bed."  She bent to pick up her discarded items, cringing slightly as the polished floor seemed to float up towards her.  "Ugh, I hate this."  She tentatively stood upright, eyes closing against the wave of nausea that assailed her and mentally kicked herself for drinking just one too many glasses of wine.

He was beside her instantly, placing a hand on her elbow to help steady her. "Laura? What's with you?  You've been my wife for a goddamn year and I certainly wouldn't summarize our marriage as one of convenience."

How dare he?  How dare he stand there and feign concern for her, his wife, when he'd barely glanced in her in direction for days now!?  What?  Was he suddenly blind?  Stupid?  Suddenly so much more self-centered that he didn't even know how much he ignored her?

She turned hard blue eyes on him and gritted her teeth.  She knew if she started now, there would be no going back.  But, then again, maybe it was time to just let it all out.  Enough was enough, she loved him; she hurt because of him.

"You know AJ, there's a hell of a lot more to being a husband than just acting like one in front of the cameras.  When was the last fucking time we went out anywhere just for us? Alone?"  She took a deep breath, pulled away from his hold and moved purposely towards the bar.  "When was the last time you invited me out with you and your friends just to hang and have fun?"  She dropped her shoes and small handbag on the bar, picked up his discarded drink and finished it off.  Willing away the tears of hurt, frustration and burning alcohol, she turned to glare at him.  "When was the last time we just cuddled on the couch and talked, like real married people do?" Swallowing down the sobs that threatened to choke off her words, she closed her eyes tightly and pushed herself to continue.  "I'm tired of being remembered only when you need a wife decorating your arm for the world to see.  I married you because I fell head over heels in love with you, damn it, and being cast aside like I mean nothing to you hurts."

He stood motionless, shocked into silence at her outburst.  It was so uncharacteristic of her.  Laura was always laid back, even tempered.  She never raised her voice, nor swore.  She was his soothing and calming presence.  He loved her.  He thought he proved that by marrying her.  What went wrong?

He shook his head to clear his thoughts and looked at her for the first time in days; with eyes that didn't just gloss over her, but actually saw her.   She stood, swaying slightly, with hands on hips; her fingers trembling slightly.  Her long black hair caressed her cheeks; falling in soft waves over her shoulders, curtaining her full breasts.  His eyes met hers and his heart weakened at what he saw.

She was hurt.  She was lost.

"When was the last time you even touched me?"  She struggled to keep the tears at bay.  She had to stay strong and finish.

"I did this to you. . . "  His voice cracked and his eyelashes fluttered briefly before his heavy lids closed.  "Ah shit!"

Laura bit her lip, sorrow engulfing her for having started the conversation.  If this was the beginning of the end, then perhaps it was better she just got it over and done with.


"For months now, AJ, you've preferred your friends over me.  I thought I was doing everything right.  I thought I was making you happy, but I can see that I'm only in the way." 

"No. . . "  Desperation flooded through his body.

"Yes!  I can see now that you don't need a wife in your bed, you just need a wife on your arm. You've got someone else. . . " Admitting it to herself, out loud, finally brought forth the stinging tears that she had forbade to fall before now.

"Laura. . . "  A shaking hand reached for her, yet his quivering legs remained frozen.  He wanted to go to her, yet he couldn't move. 

"You don't have to explain, AJ, I know!  I'm not stupid, or blind.  I just thought maybe if I waited long enough. . . . " A quick shake of her head and a desperate swipe at her tears.  "There's someone else and I've been relegated into second place."  She cursed as she plucked her shoes off the bar.  As anger overpowered her anguish once more, she strode from the room. "I'm seriously beginning to doubt I was ever in first place at all."

He dropped down onto the ottoman, and bowed his head.  "What have I done?"

He hadn't planned any of it.  He never expected to find something else; something different.  He did love Laura, he truly did, but. . . .  Damnit!!  What was wrong with him?  Why couldn't he be satisfied with what he had?  Why did he always need more? 

He remained motionless for ages, and then dialed the familiar number and counted the rings.  Six.

"What?"

"It's over.  Our relationship is over. I can't do this right now."

"What? AJ, what are you talking about?  An hour ago you left my bed and swore that you'd love me forever."

"I will.  I will love you forever, but I need her more right now.  You've already lost your marriage; I can't lose mine."  A sob escaped from him and he fell back against the sofa with a heavy heart.

"My marriage was doomed from the beginning; it had nothing to do with you."  The soothing voice flowed through AJ.  Small shivers radiated up his legs.  He was tempted to hang up the phone and pretend he'd never even dialed.  "I don't understand, Aje.  Wait. . .  I do, but.  . . God!  All this time, all these years, I never knew what I was looking for. . .  and then we find each other. . .   I can't just go away, Aje.  I won't go away.  I won't give up."  Brief silence ensued as both of them swallowed the heartache.  "You do what you need to for now.  Laura is a good woman and she loves you with all her heart.  She's good for you; better for you than I am."  A soft cry flowed through the line.

"I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry.  I don't want to lose you forever, just for now.  I need to make things right, I need some normalcy."  AJ allowed the salty tears to wind their way down his face. 

"You won't lose me.  You are forever mine."

"Forever mine. . .  I love you, Kevin.  G'night."

"Goodnight, AJ. . .  Wait!  Don't be gone too long. . . "


AJ found his wife curled up in their bed.  He was surprised she was even there, but that gave him some hope.  He had to make things right with her.  He needed her love, her softness, her tender whispers of love that he once allowed into his heart.  He had forgotten, briefly, how she made him feel. . . warm, loved, cherished, in a way that only she could.  Kevin made him feel all those things as well, but in a different way, an equally as satisfying way. 

AJ needed the best of both loves.

In time, maybe he could have both.

For now, one at a time.

He shed his clothes quietly and slipped beneath the sheets.  "Laura, I'm sorry, baby.  I do love you.  I'm sorry I hurt you. "  He gently placed his hand on her shoulder and drew her into his embrace, wrapped his arms tightly around her warm frame and buried his lips into her soft hair.

The End

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