A New Day
By: Michelle T
© 2000
For twenty minutes she had sat dazed inside the car
waiting for someone, anyone, to drive by.
She finally snapped out of it and reached for her cell phone on the seat
next to her. She brought it up close to
her face and groaned when she realized the battery had gone dead. Slowly and painfully she pulled herself out
of the car, fearing it may catch fire.
Once outside, she was soaked to the skin immediately, her long blonde
hair plastered to her head. She crossed
her arms over her chest as she started to shiver and swore to herself for not
having a sweatshirt or jacket to pull on.
As she stood beside the car, looking around at the
deserted road, it dawned on her she had no idea what to do. She walked a few steps and felt dizzy. The rain was lashing down upon her as she
sank to the wet ground and started sobbing her heart out, her back leaning
against the bumper of her totaled vehicle.
Fear and anger raged through her body.
She didn't know these roads and she should have driven slower when the
downpour began. Her car had seemed to
take on a mind of its own when it suddenly hydroplaned and spun completely
around. It finally came to rest on the
wrong side of the road against a telephone pole.
She groaned loudly from the throbbing pain coming
from her right hand and wrist. She
pulled her arm away from her chest and looked through the rain at her
hand. "Damn it," she shouted,
"What the hell am I going to do now?
I have to get back to Kim. My
God, she doesn't even know I left."
She turned slightly to her left and rested her head against the bumper
and squeezed her eyes shut against the pain.
Within moments, blackness engulfed her.
CHAPTER ONE
"Christ, Kev, this is a hell of a way to start
a long weekend," AJ grimaced while peering through the windshield of
Kevin's truck. "It's been pouring
for two friggin' hours."
"Yeah, Bone, tell me about it! It's not even 4:00 and the sky is almost
pitch black. We've got to be almost
there, though,” Kevin replied while looking quickly at his speedometer and
releasing the accelerator slightly.
"What the fuck? Kev, stop the truck!" AJ twisted in his seat to the left and
was staring out the back window, "There's a car off the road back there
with it's lights still on."
Kevin slammed on his brakes and the truck skidded
towards the right of the road. AJ threw
his door open and ran behind the truck towards the red car across the
road. Kevin grabbed a flashlight from
the glove box and a windbreaker from the back seat and flew out the door after
him.
When Kevin caught up to AJ, he found him kneeling
at the back of the car. He had his hand
on the shoulder of a woman slumped against the bumper.
"Oh Christ, is she alive?" Kevin asked
with a shaky voice as he went around AJ and kneeled down in front of her.
"Yeah, looks that way. She's passed out though." AJ said as
his left hand pushed her wet hair off her cheek. He noticed her long lashes fluttering and he felt of pang of
sorrow in his heart as he heard a groan escape from her lips. "Sweetie, come on, wake up. We're going to help you."
Upon feeling AJ's touch, she opened her eyes and
turned her head torward them with another groan.
She could see two men before her, but couldn't
focus enough to make them out.
"Ohh god, where am I?"
Kevin reached out to her right hand and gently
placed his upon it.
"Ow, my hand!" she gasped and bent
forwards while trying to protect her right hand with her left. Kevin jumped back upon hearing her and AJ
grabbed her shoulders to stop her from falling over, pulling her back close to
him. "I think. . . I've. . .
broken my hand." She whispered to them and moved her left hand onto her
right protectively.
Kevin came closer and carefully placed his hand on
both of hers and said softly, "I'm so sorry, I didn't know. Does anything else hurt?" He glanced at
AJ and noticed that he was still holding her with a look on his face that Kevin
hadn't seen there in a long time.
"My left side hurts really bad and my leg
aches. But I don't think anything else
is broken. I'm really cold though." She replied with a weak smile. At that Kevin pulled off the windbreaker he
had thrown on moments before and passed it to AJ. "Who are you guys?"
"I'm Kevin and this is AJ. AJ noticed your car off the road."
She turned her head to look at AJ. She stared at his beautiful brown eyes
filled with concern and said, "Thank you for noticing my car, AJ. You'd think there would be more traffic on
this road, considering where it leads to.
I feel like I've been here for hours."
"Your welcome," he said softly as he
gently pushed her forwards and placed the jacket around her shoulders. He looked at Kevin with concern and said,
"We've got to get her some help, Kev." He looked back down at her,
"What's your name, Sweetie?"
"Michelle."
"Michelle, we'll take care of you,
ok?" She squeezed her eyes shut
again and nodded.
"Michelle," Kevin moved his hand to her
left shoulder, "do you think you can stand?"
"I don't know, but my ass is soaking wet from
sitting here and it doesn't feel too pleasant." She said slowly. Kevin felt a smile tug at his lips at her
attempt at humor. She can’t be that bad
off if she’s trying to make light of the situation, he thought. He stood and went to her left side and
placed his arm around her waist. "Watch her right arm, AJ." AJ followed suit and stood up and they both
gently pulled her upwards. Michelle
groaned from the aches to her left side and the pressure she was placing on her
leg. She felt dizzy and nauseous and
lurched to the right. Kevin's grip
around her waist tightened and AJ placed his arm around her stomach to keep her
from falling.
"Kev, bring your truck over here. I think it would be easier on her than
carrying her across the road."
"Ok, you got her?"
AJ moved his arm around her waist and Kevin removed
his. "I’ve got her, hurry!"
Kevin ran across the road and jumped into his truck. AJ held her tightly, careful of her right arm.
"Michelle, are you still with me?" AJ
pulled her closer to him, feeling her trembling.
"I'm sorry!" she said barely audible.
"Ssssh, you don't have to be sorry. I'm just sorry that you're in this
mess." He bent his head to look at
her and noticed the tears sliding from her eyes. He lifted her chin with his
right hand and looked into her green eyes before she shut them again. "Don't worry, Babe, you'll be okay
soon."
She lifted her eyes to him and felt a rush of
gratitude towards him. "God, what
would I have done if you guys didn't come by?" At that she started crying
harder. She slid her good arm around AJ
and clung tightly to him, letting her emotions control her.
"AJ." Kevin was standing in front of
them. "Let's get her in the truck out of this rain. I've found a blanket in the back seat and
I've put the heat on."
They both guided her towards the truck. Kevin ran around to the driver's side and
jumped in. He slid over the bench seat
and helped AJ lift her in. She cried
out briefly as her arm hit the dash.
"God, I'm sorry Babe." AJ looked at the
pained expression on her face.
"AJ, be careful!" Kevin said
roughly.
"Don't. I'm okay. Really.” Michelle said.
"I'm sorry, man. I didn't mean to yell.
I'm just. . . I don't know. . . I hate to see her hurting." Kevin
looked at AJ with sorry eyes.
"Don't sweat it, I would have yelled at you
too." AJ replied with a smile.
"Ok, we've got to find a hospital." Kevin
said.
"Wait! Christ, I've got to get back to the
hotel," Michelle cried out.
"Babe, we'll. . . " AJ started while
placing the blanket over her.
"No!" she said sharply. "You don't understand. . . I left my
daughter at the hotel while I ran out for some food and stuff. She was sleeping when I left." The look
on Michelle's face was full of horror.
"I left her a note, but I've been gone so long. She must be having a shit fit."
"You have a daughter?" Kevin asked
incredulously. "And you left her there
alone?"
"Yes. . . oh god. . . don't look at me like
that. She's almost eleven years
old."
"You have an eleven year old kid?" AJ was
shocked. This woman next to him was in
no way old enough for a child that age.
"Yes, please just take me back to the
hotel. I have to make sure she's
okay." The look in her eyes made AJ shudder.
Kevin placed his hand on her head and pushed back
her damp hair. "I'm sorry,
Michelle, I didn't mean to sound harsh.
You definitely don't look old enough to have a child that age. I was picturing a toddler at best. Please. . ."
She looked into his eyes and noticed how green and
penetrating they were. She raised her
hand to his cheek and softly caressed it.
"It's okay. . . I'd yell at me too. I shouldn't have left her no matter how old she is, but I knew
how exhausted she was and I honestly didn't expect anything to delay me. I was so stupid." She wanted to scream
at herself, but took a deep breath instead.
"Oh man, that hurts."
"What hurts, Babe?" AJ asked.
"My left side when I breathe deeply. I think I hit it on the door."
"OK, Kev, let's get going. We'll swing by the hotel first and pick up.
. . what's your daughter's name,
Michelle?"
"Kimberly."
"Ok, we'll pick up Kimberly and then take you
to the hospital, ok?"
"Yes, thank you both. I'm so sorry to involve you, but I'm so
grateful you came along." Michelle looked at AJ and then Kevin. "I'm
really thankful and I promise to make it up to you."
"Well, we can talk about that on the way. Is there anything in your car you need, a
bag or wallet?" Kevin asked.
Michelle nodded her head and then leaned it against
the back of the seat. "I've got a
few things on the front seat and my laptop and a backpack in the trunk."
"Ok, AJ stay with her, I'll grab her
things. What hotel are you staying at
Hon?"
"The Wayfarer. I thought the name was appropriate." She said with a slight
smile while closing her eyes.
"I'll be right back." Kevin jumped out of
the truck and ran over to the car and started gathering her belongings.
"Why is the Wayfarer an appropriate name,
Babe?" AJ asked as he pulled her right arm from under the blanket. He gently held her elbow as he lightly ran
his fingers over her wrist. As he did,
he noticed the scar on the inside of her arm.
"What's this?"
He looked back at her face and saw the tears
glistening in her eyes. "It's
nothing, just an old scar." She responded weakly. AJ stared at her, his mouth slightly ajar
and he fell silent.
Several minutes later Kevin came back and placed
all her bags in the back seat of the truck.
He climbed in and started to put the truck in gear when he noticed the
look in AJ's eyes. "What's
wrong?" he asked. AJ held her arm
up a bit for Kevin to see. Kevin
looked at the scar and knew instantly what it represented. Tears were immediately evident in his eyes
as he looked back at AJ. "Man, I
didn't expect this," he said.
Michelle pulled her head up and looked at
Kevin. "What do you mean?"
she asked quietly. At that, Kevin
pushed the sleeve of his right arm up and turned the inside of it towards
her. She looked down and saw a scar
very similar to hers. She gasped and
looked back up at him. "Did you. .
. " she started.
"Yeah, about a year and a half ago," he
said quietly. The tears started sliding
down his cheeks as he looked at her face.
"I'm sorry, you’re the first person I’ve
actually met with. . . that," she said.
She lowered her eyes and pulled her arm from AJ's hand. "Please,
can we just go?"
Kevin just sat there staring at her and wondering
what her reasons were for trying to take her own life. "Michelle, look at me." When she didn't respond, he gently placed
his hand under her chin and tilted her head to meet his eyes. "Don't feel ashamed. I've been there
and I know how it feels."
She once again raised her hand to his cheek and
gently wiped away the tears from his right cheek and then from his left
side. She stared into his mesmerizing
eyes and pulled his face towards her.
She placed a soft kiss on his cheek. "I'd like to talk to you about
this some time, but I've got to get to my baby."
He nodded his head, righted himself in his seat and
put the truck in gear. She turned to
her right and looked at AJ. He had
tears in his eyes as well. He took back
her arm and softly caressed the scar.
"Whatever or whoever made you do this isn't worth it," he
whispered.
She nodded her head and pulled him towards her with
her left hand and kissed his cheek as well.
"Thank you."
He leaned back in his seat and placed his arm
around her shoulders and pulled her close to him. "Let's go, Kev.
She's soaking wet and we need to get her hand taken care of."
Kevin nodded and pulled out onto the road and headed
back to town. As they drove the rain
came down harder and the wind picked up fiercely. Driving was difficult with tree branches swaying into the road
and other debris flying around. "I
think we are in for one hell of a storm." Kevin mumbled.
After fifteen minutes of silence, Michelle pulled
her head up from AJ’s shoulder and looked at him. "Where were you guys heading to?" She asked with a
shudder. She was so cold, and even with
the blanket covering her and the heat coming out full force, she couldn't seem
to warm up.
"We're staying at the Breakers in Key West for
a few days." AJ responded. "A
few of our friends are waiting for us there."
"God, I'm so sorry I've delayed you."
Michelle felt so awful.
"Damn Michelle, if you say sorry to us one
more time, I'm gonna have to slap you upside the head," AJ pulled her
closer to him and rested his chin on her head.
"Ha, I can't believe you just said that,
AJ. My sister and I used to say that
and do that to each other." She looked lost in thought and smiled. She hadn't had a happy thought about Patti
in so long.
CHAPTER TWO
"We're here." Said Kevin. "Which room are you in Michelle?"
"112, around the back."
Kevin drove into the parking lot of the hotel and
drove around the back to an empty space in front of the door to her room. "Ok, let's get you inside."
AJ opened his door and with Kevin’s help from the
inside they gently got her out of the truck.
When she finally emerged she swayed again and AJ caught her in another
embrace. "We've got to stop
meeting this way, Sweetie." He said with a chuckle.
"Jeez, can I help it if I just keep falling
for you, Sexy?" she replied with a little laugh.
"Ah ha, I figured you'd notice how sexy I am
sooner or later." He smirked as he guided her towards the door. Kevin joined them and asked for her
key.
"Oh crap, it's in my right front pants pocket
and I don't think I can get it out." She groaned.
"No problem," Kevin said as he went
behind her and with his left hand on her waist, he reached between Michelle and
AJ and put his other hand into her pocket.
"Oh god, that tickles." she giggled as
his hand slid over her pelvic bone.
They broke out into laughter, which made Michelle
groan again. She went to put her left
hand on her side and felt Kevin's there instead. "Don't make me laugh or giggle or breathe anymore,
please," she begged. Kevin pulled
his hand from her pocket with the key between his fingers. He slipped the key into the lock and opened
the door.
"MOM!
Where have you been. . . Oh my god!
Oh my god!" Kim jumped off
the bed and ran to Michelle, but stopped a few feet before her. "OH MY GOD!"
"Kim!
Don't worry, I'm okay. . . I had
an accident in the car and these guys helped me out." Michelle said slowly as Kevin pulled AJ and
Michelle into the room and closed the door behind him.
"OH MY GOD!" screamed Kim.
"Babe, I think you better chill out a bit,
your mom isn't in that great of shape." AJ said to the young girl. He looked at her shocked expression and knew
instantly that she recognized them. Her
mouth was wide open, as were her eyes.
She was about 5 foot 1 inches and was slim with shoulder length golden
brown hair, just a shade or two darker than her mother's. He left Michelle in Kevin's arms and went
towards her. "Babe, you're gonna
catch a lot of flies with your mouth open that much." He put his hand under her chin and she
closed her mouth. Kim squealed again and
threw herself into his arms.
"What the hell is going on?" Michelle
looked incredulously at her daughter's actions while leaning against Kevin for
support.
AJ grabbed Kim up in a great big bear hug and
turned both of them around to face Michelle and Kevin.
"Kev? You think this wild girl in my arms
recognizes us?" he said with a wide grin and sparkling eyes.
Kevin chuckled and led Michelle to one of the
double beds in the room. "Seems so, Bone." He gently pushed Michelle down onto the bed and sat next to
her. He took her left hand in both of
his and said "Hon, I guess we should tell you who we are, since your
overly excited daughter knows. "
Michelle looked at him with eyes full of questions.
"God, Mom, they are the Backstreet
Boys!" Kim untangled herself from
AJ's grip, but clung to his arm as she walked towards her mother.
"What!" Michelle said looking at Kevin
and then at AJ.
"You know them! The concert you took me to last September?"
"I know who the Backstreet Boys are Kim! We've only listened to their CD's a million
times."
"Well, this is AJ McLean and that guy holding
your hand on your bed is “The” Kevin Richardson!" Kim was shocked and had the biggest smile on
her face.
Michelle looked back at Kevin and studied his face
again. He looked at her with a grin and
nodded his head. "She's right,
Hon, we are them."
"Christ, you think you could have told me that
by now? All this time and you two didn't
say anything," Michelle was also shocked.
"Listen Babe, the thought never entered our
minds to blurt out that we are part of that group. We were and still are much more concerned about your well
being." AJ replied while going to kneel before Michelle at the end of the
bed. He placed a hand on her knee and
looked into her face. "I don't
care who we are at the moment, you need to get out of these wet clothes and dried
off and get some medical attention and soon." He was practically scolding her.
Kim suddenly realized that her mom was being
supported by Kevin and finally really looked at her condition. "Mom. . ." her lips and chin
trembling, "What happened, mom?"
She inched closer to the bed and Kevin caught her hand in his.
"Don't worry Kim, she's going to be okay. She had a car accident and we found her and
we are going to help her and you.
Ok?" He looked at Kim's face
and knew she was about to cry.
"Don't cry baby, she's okay now." Kim stared at Kevin and nodded her head. Then she took another step closer and
gathered both Kevin and Michelle into a hug, knocking AJ on his ass.
Kevin threw his arm around Kim's back and pulled
her close. He could feel her sobs ready
to erupt.
AJ sat on his butt on the carpet and exclaimed,
"Jeez, thanks a lot Kim! I thought I was your favorite and then you go and
shove me aside for the tall gorgeous guy.
God! Happens way too often if
you ask me!" He rolled his eyes
and Kim started giggling and stood up and turned to AJ.
She dropped herself onto his lap and hugged
him. "AJ, I'm sorry. . . but
honestly, Nick is my absolute favorite!"
They all cracked up at that and once again Michelle
groaned from the aches to her left side.
She let herself fall back onto the bed and laid there laughing, her eyes
shut tight to hold back the tears of laughter and pain. Kevin lay back next to her and gathered her
into his arms. He pushed the damp hair
off her face and kissed her cheek while rubbing her back. "Okay, missy, no more laughing for
you." He laid her back down and
gently lifted her yellow T-shirt on her left side.
"Kevin! God, I've only known you for like an
hour and my daughter is in the room!"
Michelle laughed even harder and pressed her hand to her side. Kevin removed her hand and looked down. Sure enough bruises ran from her ribs down
to her waist and probably lower, but he couldn't see.
"AJ, will you look in the phone book and see
where the nearest hospital is?” Kevin looked over at AJ who was tickling the
hell out of Kimberly.
"Yeah, sure, once I'm done torturing this
kid." He laughed and continued to
torment her. Kim's hoots and begs for
mercy were ignored by him.
Kevin gently pulled Michelle up from the bed, held
her steady when she started to sway and led her to the bathroom. "Ok, you wait here and I'll have Kim to
get you out some dry clothes." He
returned to the room to find AJ and Kim going through the phone book. "Kim, can you get me some dry clothes
for your mom?"
"Ok.
Can you tell her I'm starving?
It's like 5:30 and we haven't eaten since 11:00." She asked while
pulling clean clothes from her mother's bags.
"Kev, the phone lines are down," AJ
looked at Kevin with concern in his eyes, holding the dead phone in his hand. "What the hell else can go wrong? We’ll go to the front office to find out
where the hospital is and I'll get Kim some food."
"Good idea," Kevin said while heading
back to the bathroom.
"Let's go Sugar. I'll get you fattened up so you quit flapping your
trap." AJ grabbed Kim's hand and
then noticed a hooded sweatshirt on the dresser and pulled it over her
head. "Can't let you look like a
drowned rat when you get to meet your fantasy boyfriend." he teased.
"What?
I'm gonna meet Nick!" Kim
screamed.
"Well, if you keep screaming in my ear like
that, then nooooo!" He screamed
back at her with a hearty laugh. She
giggled and grabbed his hand again and led him out the door.
CHAPTER THREE
Kevin went back into the bathroom and found
Michelle sitting on the side of the tub with her head on her knees. He dropped down in front of her and noticed
how badly she was shaking.
“Michelle. . . oh baby, you are shivering like
crazy! We’ve got to get you out of these
wet clothes before you catch pneumonia.”
Kevin stood up bringing Michelle with him. Her head rolled to the side and he noticed the glazed look in
them.
“Kevin, I don’t feel so good.” He pulled her tight against his side and
pushed the shower curtain open, reaching in and turning the water on full
blast. He turned his body back towards
her and she leaned in against him, not being able to stand on her own.
“Sweetie, we have to take your wet clothes off,
ok?” She didn’t respond, just let out a
low moan. Kevin held her as best as he
could as he started to undress her. He
managed to get her shirt over her head and off her left arm. He pulled her to his right and tried to pull
the shirt from her right arm as gently as he could. She groaned loudly as he pulled the material away from her. “I’m sorry, babe.” he said softly. “Shit!” he thought, “This is a lot tougher
than I expected”. He turned her around
so that her back was leaning against him and proceeded to undo the button, then
the zipper of her jeans. With one hand
supporting her around her waist, he slowly pushed her jeans over her hips until
they fell around her ankles. He leaned
her gently against the wall adjacent to the shower and bent down to remove her
pants completely. As he straightened
up, he realized her underwear was soaking wet too. Without a second thought he eased her panties down and off. He placed his hand on her waist again and
then reached between them and fumbled with the clasp on her bra with his free
hand. “Crap, I was never good at this
with one hand.” He mumbled to himself as the clasp finally gave way.
Michelle moaned again and pushed herself away from
the wall. “What are you doing?” she
cried softly.
“Michelle, you need to get in the shower and warm
up and you can’t do that with soaking wet clothes on.” he replied
hoarsely.
“Oh god, I’m so embarrassed.” She squeezed her eyes
shut tight and let Kevin guide her into the hot water. She immediately crossed her arms over her
chest and leaned into the corner of the shower. “I’m so dizzy.” she moaned.
Kevin looked pained and felt a rush of sympathy
towards her. “Oh Christ, don’t be a
wimp, Kevin.” he said to himself and then pulled his tee shirt off and quickly
unzipped his own jeans.
Within seconds he was standing there in his black
boxers and climbed into the shower with her.
He pulled her towards him and said,
“Just keep your eyes closed and pretend you have a bathing suit on or
something. I swear I’m not checking out
your gorgeous body.”
“Really? Could have fooled me,” she said slowly
with a slight smile. He guided her
directly under the stream of hot water and rubbed her left side with his
hand.
After a few moments, he said, “The hot water should
make your bruises feel better too.”
Michelle opened her eyes and looked down at her
left side and groaned. “Oh great, I
look like I was kicked by a mule.” She then moved her eyes back to the right
and noticed his muscular arm supporting her just below her breasts. She brought her left hand up to his arm and
caressed it lightly. “Thank you, Kevin,
for helping me, but I really and truly am so embarrassed. No one has helped me in the shower in ages
or seen me naked for that matter.”
He turned her body to face his and wrapped his arms
around her shoulders holding her close so that the water could warm up her
backside. Her arms automatically wound
themselves around his waist. “Please don’t
be embarrassed, Michelle. You have a
beautiful body and should not be ashamed to let someone see it,” he replied
huskily. Stirrings of desire swelled in
his groin. “Oh Christ,” he thought,
“what the hell am I thinking? This poor
girl has been through enough within the last few hours and doesn’t need me
getting turned on by holding her.” He
gently eased her off from him and looked down at her face.
She turned her head upwards and asked, “God, Kevin,
how the hell tall are you?”
He chuckled at the expression on her face and
replied, “A hell of a lot taller than you, that’s for sure. Are you sure your daughter is only ten years
old? She’s only a couple of inches shorter
than you?”
Michelle grinned slightly, “She’s very tall for her
age. Comes from her father’s side of
the family.”
At the mention of Kimberly’s father, Kevin froze
and his face was covered in confusion and then realization. “Michelle!
Jesus, it never occurred to me, but where the hell is your
husband?” Michelle groaned and leaned
her head forwards onto Kevin’s stomach.
“He’s history.
I don’t want to talk about him.
I’m really not feeling too good, Kevin.” With that she collapsed against his body completely and he pulled
her up tighter against him. He reached
behind her and shut the water off, then pulled the shower curtain open and
carefully stepped out with Michelle in his arms. He grabbed a clean towel off the vanity and spread it over her
shoulders.
Just then he heard AJ and Kimberly returning. “AJ!
Can you come in here!” he shouted towards the closed door.
AJ led Kim over to the bed and told her to get
comfy and watch TV while she ate. She
looked at him like he was crazy and asked “AJ, what’s Kevin doing with my mom
in the bathroom?”
“Don’t worry so much, Sugar! He’s just helping her with her arm. I’ll be right back.” AJ walked quickly to the bathroom door and
eased it open. “What’s up, Kev?” He looked at Kevin’s wet back and noticed
Michelle’s arms around his waist.
“She’s passed out again and we need to get her
dressed.” Kevin said.
AJ closed the door behind him and went to stand
behind Michelle. “Kev? She’s naked
under that towel, and why are you dripping wet?” AJ had a look of anger in his eyes as he stared at Michelle’s
long wet hair cascading down her back.
He unconsciously reached a hand out and stroked her hair.
“AJ, please, you know me better than that. I’m not
taking advantage of her here; I’m trying to keep her from getting any sicker
than she already is. She was shivering
violently and couldn’t even stand on her own.
What was I gonna do, let her fall over in the tub and crack her head
open?” Kevin looked at AJ defiantly and
waited for his response.
“No, I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was
thinking. Ok, how are we gonna do
this?” AJ asked.
“Well, grab hold of her and I’ll dry her off and
try to put her clothes on.” Kevin responded.
AJ wrapped his arms around Michelle’s upper body and pulled her back
against him. Kevin grabbed another
towel and proceeded to dry her off as best as he could. He tried averting his eyes from her crotch
as he bent down to dry her legs, but found he couldn’t keep his eyes away.
“Kevin! For
Christ sakes, man, just close your eyes and dry her off.” AJ whispered
loudly. He took a deep breath when he
realized that he had his right arm wrapped around her ribcage and that her
breasts were leaning against his tattooed arm. He brought his hand from her shoulder up to the top of her head
and placed a light kiss on her temple.
He hadn't felt concern for anyone in this way since Deanna had left his
life.
Kevin finished and they both dressed her in a
sweatshirt and thin jogging pants as quickly and gently as possible. AJ scooped her up into his arms and brought
her back into the bedroom while Kevin dried off and wrapped a towel around his
waist. Seconds later, Kevin ran into the bedroom and pulled the blankets down
on the nearest bed and AJ placed her in it.
While AJ covered her up, Kevin noticed that Kim had fallen asleep on top
of the other bed. He strode over to her
and removed the food wrappings lying next to her and then covered her with a
spare blanket. He sat down on the side
of the bed facing AJ and Michelle and ran his fingers through his damp hair and
said, “What did they say down at the office?”
AJ snapped his head up and looked at Kevin, “The
hospital is about ten miles back up the road, but they’ve started closing off
the bridges connecting the islands to each other. We won’t be able to make it there.”
AJ stood and walked to the sliding glass doors at
the other end of the room and peered out into the rain. He leaned his hands against the glass and
stared out onto the courtyard and pool area.
Deck chairs and table umbrellas were being whipped around like
toys. The small palm trees surrounding
the area were swaying uncontrollably.
“I don’t like this Kev, I don’t feel safe here.”
Kevin joined him at the doors and watched the storm
belting down around them. “I agree, you
think we should take them to our hotel, it is a lot bigger and should be
safer?” Kevin looked at AJ and saw his
sad expression. “What’s going on, AJ?
You have something on your mind I can tell.”
CHAPTER FOUR
AJ pushed himself away from the door, brought his
hands up to his face and rubbed his eyes.
“Seeing Michelle like that, when we found her, just made me have
feelings that I haven’t had in a long time.
Not since Deanna! I haven’t let
myself care too much about anyone in so long, and all of a sudden, a stranger
alongside the road brings back so many things.”
Kevin leaned against the door and watched AJ. “Bone, Michelle is not Deanna, and no other
person on this earth could ever be. I
know seeing Michelle’s scar really shook you. Hell, it did me too! And
I’m sorry that now you’re stuck in a room with two people who at one time tried
to kill themselves. I know how
agonizing this must be for you. I’m so
sorry Deanna succeeding in killing herself and I know, if we had been home at
the time, she may still be alive too,” he shook his head and continued,
“because I know we, and the other guys, would have been there for her. She was our really good friend but none of
us knew the depth of her depression.“
AJ stared back at Kevin in astonishment and asked,
“How did you know what I was thinking?”
“Well, let’s just say, I’ve been having similar
thoughts for the last couple of hours myself,” Kevin replied while turning to
look at the two sleeping females. “I
think we should pack them up and take them to our hotel. With the other guys there, Kim will be kept
well occupied and Michelle can get lots of rest. I don’t know what the hell we are going to do about her hand
though.”
AJ nodded and they proceeded to gather the girl’s
personal belongings and pack them into the open bags lying on the floor. Kevin went into the bathroom, quickly got
dressed, collected their wet clothing and threw them into a plastic laundry
bag. While he was tossing
toothbrushes, makeup and other toiletries into the cosmetic bag on the counter,
Kim showed up at the door and watched him with interest.
“Kevin, what are you doing?” She rubbed an eye and pushed her hair behind
her ear.
“Kim, we think it will be safer if you and your mom
come to our hotel with us. It’s bigger
and we’ll have more people to help out.
The storm is getting worse and we really should hurry.” Kim nodded her head and went back into the
bedroom to put her sneakers back on.
AJ passed the bathroom door and said he had everything
ready. Together they loaded the truck
and Kevin was grateful he’d thought to put the cab onto the back of it. At least their luggage, and now Kim’s and
Michelle’s, would stay dry.
When they returned to the room, they found Kim
sitting on the bed next to Michelle with silent tears running down her
face. AJ pulled her up into a hug and
held her tight. “Don’t worry Sugar,
your mom will be okay.”
Kim cried harder and choked out, “What if she dies?
She almost died before and I. . . I don’t want her to ever die. I love her so much!”
AJ felt his chest tighten and held her tighter,
“She’s not going to die, baby, she’s just got a broken hand and some bruises
and is exhausted from the stress of it all.
I promise you, she won’t die, ok?”
AJ looked over at Kevin who was staring at Kim’s back with tears sliding
down his face. “Kevin, tell Kim I’m
right!”
Kevin looked up at AJ and then moved up to Kim and
ran his hand over her back. “He’s right Kimmie, your mom is okay and she’s not
going to die. Let’s go see Nick, Brian
and Howie, ok?” Kim nodded her head and
released her grasp from AJ.
“Ok, let’s go,” she said softly.
Kevin bent down and picked Michelle up into his
arms and carried her to the door. “Kev,
wait a sec, I’ll get Kim into the back seat and then I’ll open the door for
you.” AJ pulled Kim to the truck and
they both nearly slipped when they hit a large puddle. The rain was still coming down in buckets
and they were instantly soaked. Once
Kim was inside, Kevin and AJ got Michelle in and they headed out of the parking
lot.
They drove slowly the five miles to their hotel,
taking nearly a half-hour for a ride that should have taken minutes. When they finally turned into their hotel,
AJ jumped out of the truck and ran into the front office to confirm that the
other guys had made it. Kevin pulled
the truck into the first level parking area and pulled up as close to the doors
as possible.
In the lobby, AJ spotted Howie at the counter and
ran over to him. “D, man, am I glad to
see you.” He said while giving Howie a hug.
“Where the hell have you been? We tried calling you and got no answer. We’ve been here a couple of hours and
expected you to show up right after us!”
Howie was yelling at AJ, but was relieved to see his friend safe. “Where’s Kevin?”
AJ threw his arm around Howie’s shoulders and
guided him to the side entrance. “I’m
so glad you care so much, Dude. Man,
we’ve had one hell of an afternoon.” AJ
gave Howie the short and quick version of finding Michelle by her car and
everything else they’d done in the last couple hours.
“Wow, and you’ve brought them with you?” he looked
at AJ with concern.
“Yeah, their hotel was too small and we didn’t
think they’d be as safe there as they will be here and Michelle really needs
some sort of medical attention,” AJ pushed open the door and saw Kevin’s truck.
Michelle had awakened and was looking at Kevin with
a questionable look. “Kevin, where are
we? Where’s Kim?”
Kim leaned forward from her seat and wrapped her
arms around Michelle’s neck. “I’m right
here, Mom. I was so scared driving over
here.” Michelle brought her left hand up
and clung to Kim’s arms.
Kevin watched them and his heart filled with
compassion. He brought his hand up to
Michelle’s cheek and softly caressed it.
“We’re at our hotel. It has
better facilities and it's much larger.
We thought you two would be safer and more comfortable here.” His eyes were piercing into hers and she
couldn’t look away.
“Kevin, thank you again for being here for
us.” She turned her head slightly and
kissed his open palm.
Kimberly noticed AJ and Howie coming towards the
truck and opened her door. AJ jogged
over to her and helped her down. She
looked at Howie and smiled shyly.
“Hi Howie,” she said quietly.
Howie went over to her and gave her a hug. “You must be Kimberly. How are you?”
She shrugged her shoulders and giggled, “Three
times better than I was this morning!”
Howie looked down at her and asked, “What do you
mean three times better?”
Kim grinned and said “Well, I’ve now hugged three
Backstreet Boys today and I know Nick and Brian are here somewhere.” Howie and
AJ laughed at her happy face.
“Okay, Kim, help me get the bags out of the truck,”
AJ said as he pulled her towards the back of the truck.
Kevin continued staring at Michelle and she at
him. He wished he knew what she was
thinking. “Are you okay? Feeling any better?” he asked softly. She nodded her head and opened her mouth to
say something further, when Howie pulled Kevin’s door open. Kevin jumped, not expecting it and turned to
Howie, “D, you scared the shit out of me!”
“Sorry, Kev!” Howie wasn’t looking at Kevin; he was
staring at Michelle and noticed her tired green eyes.
“Howie, this is Michelle - you know, Michelle, I
don’t even know your last name,” Kevin said thoughtfully, looking down at
her.
“Hi Howie, how are you? And my last name is Wyman.”
“Hi, let me help you out of the truck,” Howie said
and ran around the front of the vehicle.
Kevin grabbed his keys and got out and went around back to help AJ with
the bags. Howie opened the passenger
side door and held his hand out to Michelle.
She turned her body to the right and gave him her
left hand, “Sorry, Howie, but I think my right hand is busted.” She gazed into
his face and thought how beautiful he was.
She loved his large brown eyes and wavy hair clasped tightly in a
ponytail. She’d always found long hair
and earrings on men incredibly sensual.
His lips were full and his eyes lit up when he smiled. Just perfect, she thought.
Kevin came up to them and told Howie to be careful
of her hand. “I know, she just told
me.”
Michelle started to climb out and Kevin stopped
her, “Michelle, you have no shoes on.
I’ll carry you.”
“Kevin, please, I’ve been enough of a burden to you
and AJ and I’m used to walking bare foot.” She replied with a slight frown.
“I don’t care, I’m carrying you anyway. And I know
your leg aches, so you’ll just have to suffer in my arms.” Kevin leaned in and
scooped her up.
Howie closed the door after them with a
chuckle. “Guess I’ll help AJ with the
bags then.”
CHAPTER FIVE
When they finally reached their suite on the fifth
floor, the door flung open from the inside and Nick stood there speechless to
see his three friends, two of which were holding onto a strange woman.
“Whoa, what’s this?” he asked backing into the
room. At the sound of his voice, Brian
came from his room to see what the commotion was about.
“Hey Guys, this is Kimberly,” AJ said indicating
the young girl holding his hand, “And that’s Michelle. Michelle was in a car accident earlier and
we pretty much saved her sorry butt!” AJ was cracking himself up.
Michelle flung out her right foot and caught AJ in
his ass. “Talk about sorry butts, you
don’t even have one!”
Brian and Nick doubled over into a fit of laughter
and pulled Kim and AJ into the room.
Kevin followed them and headed towards the bedroom on the far
right. Howie pulled a couple of bags
into the room and said, “Nick, since you do have one, why don’t you drag your
fat butt over here and give me a hand with this stuff.”
Kimberly giggled loudly while her eyes were glued
to Nick, who had a shocked expression on his face at Howie’s comment and was
tongue-tied.
Brian threw his arm around Nick’s shoulder and
said, “Come on, Buddy, I’ll help you.”
Nick shrugged him off and turned to Kimberly, “You
know what happens to little girls who laugh at my butt?” he asked with a large
smile, “They get TICKLED!” Kimberly
screamed and went to hide behind AJ, but Nick caught her hand and proceeded to
tickle her sides ferociously. The other
guys laughed at them and brought the luggage in themselves.
In the meantime, Kevin brought Michelle into the
bedroom and gently placed her on the bed closest to them. “There you go, M’Lady.” He went over to the closet and pulled a spare
blanket out and covered her with it.
“God, you guys are totally spoiling me! How am I going to live without you after
today?” Michelle asked. Then they
heard the laughing and Kimberly’s screaming coming from the living room. “What the hell is going on?” Michelle asked
and started to get up.
“Stay right there! I’ll go.” Kevin went to the door
and looked out. “Uh oh, Nick’s found
someone new to tease. He’s tickling the
hell out of your daughter.”
“Really? She must be in seventh heaven.” Michelle
was glad Kim was enjoying being with the guys.
She had been through so much misery in the last year and deserved some
fun. “I’m happy for her. My poor
baby.” She felt instantly guilty and
saddened that she hadn’t been able to make her child laugh like that in so
long.
As a few tears slipped down her cheeks, Kevin came
over and sat on the bed next to her. He
wiped away her tears and forced her to look at him. “Don’t torture yourself, Michelle. I don’t know your story yet, but I intend to find out very soon.”
His eyes were boring into hers and he had a frown on his face. “I’m sure
whatever has happened to you two, you never did anything to intentionally hurt
her.”
“Trying to kill myself wasn’t intentionally trying
to hurt her?” Michelle asked sarcastically but softly.
“No, you were trying to hurt yourself and I’m sure
you weren’t thinking of how it would affect her.” Kevin said forcefully. “I know, Michelle, remember? I’ve been
through it too and I know I never meant to hurt anyone, just myself. For now, I’m going down to the lobby to try
to see if they have an in-house nurse or something. We’ll talk later and in the meantime, just relax and don’t think
any bad thoughts.” He leaned forward
and kissed her cheek and then walked out of the room.
Michelle closed her eyes and leaned her head
against the backboard of the bed and willed herself not to cry anymore. “God, he can read me like a book!” she
thought.
Nick had finally finished torturing Kimberly and
they sat on the couch together to catch their breath. Kimberly suddenly jumped up and ran over to Brian and threw her
arms around him. He was startled and
almost fell backwards but caught himself.
“That’s number four! Hi Brian,
I’m happy to meet you finally,” she said happily.
Brian wrapped his arms around her shoulders and
said, “Well, Kimmie, it's nice to meet you too finally!” He looked down at her and made a silly
face. She laughed and looked up at him
adoringly. “But, what’s the number four all about?” he asked. Howie came up to them and whispered in
Brian’s ear. Brian had an “I get it!”
face on and then looked over at Nick.
“Well, well, Nicky, seems you are the lucky number five!”
Nick looked at him with a dumbfounded expression,
“What the heck are you three talking about?”
Kim looked up at Howie and Brian and said, “Well, I
guess now is my chance.” They nodded
and she turned to Nick and then flew onto his lap and gave him the biggest hug
she could muster all the while screaming, “I LOVE YOU, NICK!!” AJ, Howie and Brian were laughing
uncontrollably. Kevin had caught the
scene and was pulled into the laughter.
Nick was speechless and looked at Kevin. Kevin indicated that he should hug her back
and so he did. “Jeez, Kim, you sure do
got a tight grip there. I almost can’t
breathe!”
Kim released him and laughed. Her face was flushed from excitement and a
bit of embarrassment. “Just wait ‘til I
email my friends and tell them about this day!” she said breathlessly.
Kevin explained he was going on the hunt for a
doctor and headed out. The rest of the
guys sorted through the baggage on the floor and put it into the different
rooms. AJ threw his bags on one of the
beds in a room with Howie and then turned to leave. “Hey Bone, aren’t you even going to unpack?” Howie asked.
“Nah, what for? I’ll just have to pack it all up in
a few days anyway,” he replied. Howie
just shook his head and proceeded to unpack AJ’s bags. “Thanks, D, I knew you couldn’t resist.” AJ walked out of the room with a wide grin
and headed to the room Michelle was in.
When he walked through the door he saw her staring
off towards the wide window at the end of the room. “Hey, Babe, how you doing?”
He walked over and climbed onto the right side of the bed next to
her. He stretched his legs out and put
his arms around her and pulled her close.
“I’m better, AJ.
Just amazed at everything that’s happened in the last few hours. You guys have been so wonderful to us and I
feel like I’ve known you for a lot longer than a few hours.” She looked up at his handsome face and
smiled. “What is it with you guys and
your beautiful eyes?” she said half aloud.
He chuckled.
“And aren’t you always suppose to be wearing
sunglasses?” she asked.
He thought for a moment and then said, “Yeah, well,
what you read isn’t always what’s true.
I did have some on earlier though, but took them off on the drive down
here.”
“Ah, I see,” she said while tracing a tattoo on his
arm with her left fingers, “I love tattoos.”
“Then you should get one! I’d suggest on your right hip bone,” he said pointing his finger
at her hip.
“What makes you think I don’t already have one?”
she asked him smiling.
“Oh Baby, I KNOW you don’t have one!”
“What the hell do you mean by that?” she asked
starting to feel nervous.
“Babe, how do you think you got these dry clothes
on?” his eyes were dancing with merriment.
“Oh my God! Oh my freaking God!” she was shocked
and a blush was spreading quickly over her face.
AJ was laughing really hard and tightened his grip
around her. “Chill Babe, I enjoyed
checking out your fabulous body!”
Michelle moaned in embarrassment and closed her
eyes. I can’t believe this, she
thought, two absolutely hot guys see me naked in one day and I was too out of
it to even enjoy it. Finally she looked
back up at AJ and said, “Well what about the famous tattoo on your belly? Is that for real?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know!” he laughed and winked
at her.
“I do want to know now!” she laughed with him.
“Ok,” he said and jumped off the bed. He pulled his shirt up and posed before her,
displaying his work of art.
“Wow, that’s really something, AJ. Those muscles are quite enjoyable to look at
too,” she said smiling and winking at him.
He laughed heartily and fell back onto the
bed. “Michelle, you trying to flirt
with me?”
“Who me? Noooooo.
Seriously, AJ, you just seem so easy to get along with. I could have a lot of fun with you around,”
she said.
“Well let’s get you all healed up and I’ll really
show you some fun!” He was enjoying this easy banter with her.
“You got a deal, Sexy! But, I’m afraid we’ll have to keep it platonic as I’m sure I’m
way too old for you!” she said.
“What? No way, Sweetie, no woman I want is too old
for me if I have anything to say about it.” He said cockily. “How old are you anyway?”
“You expect me, a grown woman, to actually tell you
my real age? Get real, babe.”
“Come on, I want to know, I need to know, so just
tell me or I’ll just go ask your daughter,” AJ said and made a move as if he
was going to leave.
“Wait! Ok, you brute, I’ll tell you, but no Old
Granny comments. Deal?” she asked
holding out her left hand for a shake.
“Deal,” he said with a grin.
“28, almost 29!
Whew! I can’t believe I just said that out loud!” she said pretending to
wipe the sweat off her brow.
“You gotta be shittin’ me! You think that’s old? Christ, the way you were carrying on, I
thought you were gonna say at least 30!” he said laughing.
She watched him laughing and enjoyed seeing his
beautiful face so happy. She reached
for him with her left hand to pull his head towards her so she could kiss his
cheek. As she was just about there he
turned his head so her kiss landed on his lips. She was momentarily startled so she didn’t pull back right
away. “Oh AJ, you are such a
flirt. But a flirt with nice lips.” She
smiled at him.
He continued smiling at her and thinking how
beautiful she looked with her dark blonde hair hanging around her face and a
sparkle in her eyes. “Michelle, I don’t
know about you, but I really like you.
Will you be my friend forever?” AJ asked her with a puppy dog pout.
She burst out laughing and nodded her head. “Ok, but you have to sing for me in your
sexy voice at least once a week. Deal?”
she asked.
“Deal!” he leaned over and kissed the top of her
head and jumped off the bed. “I’m going to get some drinks and take a hot
shower. You want anything?” She shook her head and smiled at him. He strode out of the room as Kim and Nick
came in.
CHAPTER SIX
“Hi Mom, how are you?” Kim asked with a concerned
expression while climbing onto the bed and snuggling up to her mother.
“I’m okay, Sweetie. Hi Nick, I’m Michelle, and thanks for befriending my kid here!”
she said before bending her head to kiss Kimberly’s head.
“Hey Michelle.
Sorry to hear about your accident.
It must have been pretty scary, huh?” he asked while sitting down at the
foot of the bed. Michelle nodded and
held up her right hand.
“Yeah, I’ll admit I was very scared for a while,
especially when no one seemed to be traveling on the roads. I’m really lucky your friends were driving
by and were kind enough to stop,” she answered while looking at her hand,
”Basically this is the worst of it, I think its broken and it hurts like hell,
but not as much as earlier.” As she
said that Kim leaned over and lightly kissed her mother’s hand.
“Mom, Nick said we could go find the arcade?
Okay?” Michelle looked at Nick to gauge
whether or not he really wanted to go.
He nodded his head at her and said he’d love to hang around with
Kim. She smiled her thanks at him and
they left.
Michelle gingerly turned onto her left side and
curled into a ball and closed her eyes.
She lay that way for about a while thinking how lucky she was to have
met such nice people.
Brian and Howie came to the door and thought she
was sleeping. "She's
sleeping," said Brian softly.
Michelle heard them and opened her eyes, "No,
I'm not. Come in please." Michelle
looked back at them and smiled. Brian
went and sat on the left side of the bed and Howie sat behind her on the
right. Michelle tried to sit up a
little straighter and groaned.
"Sorry about that, I'm kind of achy," she said. Howie leaned towards her and placed his
hands on her shoulders and helped her sit up.
"Thanks, Howie. I'm sorry
to intrude in your lives this way."
Brian patted her knee and said, "Hey, you're
not intruding. We're happy to have you
here. And Kim too. She seems like a great kid."
Michelle nodded and smiled back at them. "Why are you guys down here on this
particular weekend. Tomorrow is
Thanksgiving after all?”
Howie smiled and responded, "Well we just
finished a four month tour last weekend and we felt the need to unwind for a
few days."
"But, aren't you guys sick of being together
after all that time? And what about your families and friends?" she asked
looking at him.
Brian shifted on the bed and made himself more
comfortable while responding, "You'd think we would hate each other by
now, huh? But, no, we’re so busy while
on tour, that we hardly get to just chill out and enjoy each other’s company,
without a hundred other people all over us.”
“Yeah,” said Howie, “and our families are pretty
used to us being gone at inopportune times, so one more holiday didn’t really
phase them.”
“Well, what about your girlfriends? They must be missing you?” Michelle looked
at Brian. His eyes suddenly darkened
and he hung his head down a bit.
Michelle knew she said something wrong and grabbed Brian’s hand that was
on her knee. “Brian, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you sad.”
He looked up at her and stared into her eyes, “It’s
okay, it’s nothing. Things are a little
strained right now, that’s all.”
Michelle continued to watch his sad face for
several moments, “Brian, call her!
Don’t sit here and dwell on whatever it was you fought about. Just call her and talk!”
Brian looked at Michelle with surprise. “Hey, how’d you know?” he asked.
Michelle chuckled lightly, “Brian, it’s written all
over your face. You smile a lot but
it’s not a real smile, because you’re eyes aren’t smiling too.”
Brian squeezed her hand, “Well, maybe I will, once
the phones are back on.” He thought for
a moment and said, “No, you’re right.
I’m definitely calling her as soon as I can. I love her and I’m going to make sure I tell her!” He smiled, really smiled, this time and bent
over and gave Michelle a hug. “Thanks,
Michelle, I think we’re going to end up being the lucky ones having you
around. Now, I’m going to find Nicky
and Kimmie and drive them crazy!” He
jumped off the bed and ran from the room with a wave.
*****************
Kevin was downstairs in the lobby talking to the
night manager about Michelle. As he was
explaining his need for someone with medical training, a tall blond man at the
end of the counter looked over and walked towards Kevin.
“Excuse me, I’m sorry, but I overheard you talking
and, well, I’m Dr. Carey Ferguson.
Anything I can do to help?”
Kevin smiled broadly and shook the man’s hand,
“Man, am I glad to meet you. I’m Kevin
Richardson and I’d really appreciate your help.”
Carey smiled and indicated to the woman standing
behind him, “Kevin, this is my bride, Karolyn, we’re on our honeymoon, but I’m
sure she wouldn’t mind if I deserted her for a short while.”
He looked at Karolyn lovingly and she nodded her
head. “Hi, nice to meet you. I don’t mind you stealing my man for a
while, but not all night, ok?” she replied, smiling at Carey and Kevin.
“That’s excellent, thank you both so much.” Kevin
said happily.
“Ok, let’s go get my bag and go see your
friend.” Carey said and led them over
to the elevator.
When the elevator doors opened, Brian and Nick came
bounding out. Nick was giving Kim a
piggyback ride and all three were laughing hysterically. They stopped short when they saw Kevin and
all grinned sheepishly.
“Hey guys, having fun yet?” Kevin asked with a
raised eyebrow and a grin.
“Kev, hey man, how’s it going? We’re looking for some food!” Nick said
while rubbing his tummy. Kimberly
giggled and started messing up Nick’s hair with her hands. Nick screeched and started tickling the back
of her knees, which made her scream.
Kevin threw up his hands and laughed.
“Guys, this is Dr. Carey Ferguson and his wife,
Karolyn. We’re going to get his medical
bag and then he’s going to check Michelle out.
So, try to keep it down and stay out of sight for a while, ok?”
Brian looked amazed at his cousin. “Leave it up to
you, Kev, to actually find a doctor.
Man, you are good!” he said with awe.
*******************
Michelle and Howie were laughing quietly at the
thought of Brian. Then Michelle looked
at Howie and asked, “What about you, Howie?
Anyone special missing you right now?”
Howie smiled and said, “Nah, no one serious. I’m having too much fun living the life I’ve
got and I haven’t found that special someone.”
Michelle smiled at him and concentrated on his face
for a few minutes. Finally, Howie
started to blush and asked, “What is it? My hair messy or something?”
Michelle laughed and said, “No, of course not, I
was just picturing you in that video, A Night Out with the Backstreet Boys, and
remembering how incredible you are when you perform. Always smiling and winking and looking so damn adorable!”
Michelle blushed a little too.
“Thanks Michelle, it’s nice to hear you say that,”
and with that he gave her an exaggerated wink.
She laughed and pulled him in for a hug. “I think you are great, Howie!”
“I think you are great, Michelle!” he said, “What
about you and Kim? Why are you here with no family?”
Michelle looked at him, but not sadly. “Well, we’ve
basically been on the road for a month now and this is kind of our last stop
before heading up to Orlando to settle down.
I have a sister there and I want to see her and get back in her good
graces, and I really miss her. She’s my
only real family left.”
Howie concentrated on her face as she spoke. He could see a lot of emotions passing
through her eyes. “Where did you start
out from?” he asked.
“Boston area.
Actually, Kim and I saw you guys in concert in September at the Fleet
Center. It was really great! After that, I thought long and hard about
what direction to take in life and I decided a move was the best thing. So within a couple weeks, we packed up,
stored most of our stuff and headed out.” she smiled for a second and then
said, “The hardest part was overcoming my fear of driving highways. But, I told myself to stop being a chicken
shit and just go. And we did!” she
looked at Howie and noticed him smiling.
“What?” she asked.
“Nothing, well, actually, I’m thinking how
incredibly gutsy you are. It must have
been difficult to overcome a fear like that. Good for you!” She smiled at his
praise and they both settled into a comfortable silence.
“Howie, in my bags somewhere is my cell phone, the
battery is dead, but I have a charger there too. Will you find them and charge up the phone, so Brian can call his
love?” she asked him quietly.
He smiled broadly at her and kissed her cheek.
“Absolutely, doll!”
CHAPTER SEVEN
Kevin came in the room with Carey. “Hey D, Michelle, this is Dr. Carey
Ferguson. He’s here on his honeymoon
and overheard me downstairs and graciously offered his services.”
Howie walked over to Carey and shook his hand. “Thanks Dr. Ferguson, we really appreciate
your help,” he said.
Carey smiled and said, “First things first, call me
Carey! I am on vacation after all.” He
had a nice smile.
Howie left the room and Kevin turned to follow
him. “Kevin,’ Michelle cried out,
“don’t go, please?” Kevin turned back
around and smiled at her as he went to sit where Howie had just been. He placed his hand on her bad arm and rubbed
it softly.
Carey sat on Michelle’s left and made some small
talk with her while checking her eyes and head. “Did you hit your head at all, Michelle?” he asked.
She shook her head and said, “No, I don’t think
so.”
“Well, you have a tiny bruise here, but it doesn’t
look serious.” He gently touched near
her temple.
“Really? It doesn’t hurt.” She replied.
He took her right arm from Kevin and lightly felt
along her wrist. Michelle let out a
groan and Kevin looked at her with compassion.
Carey continued feeling around her arm and hand and Michelle had to
close her eyes from the pain, as silent tears started to flow. “I’m sorry, Michelle, I don’t like hurting you,
but I need to see exactly what you’ve got here.” She nodded and felt Kevin’s hand on your cheek. She opened her eyes and looked into his.
He smiled slightly and bent his head close to hers
and said softly, “Just look at me, Babe, and imagine that you and me are in the
middle of a huge dance floor, swaying in each other’s arms to your favorite
slow song.” She smiled and envisioned
the picture he just described.
They stayed that way for a long time while Carey
put a splint on her hand and wrist and bandaged it up tightly. “Ok, that’s all taken care of. Your pinkie is broken and a few bones on the
top of the hand are bruised, but your wrist only has a slight sprain. Kevin, I’ll leave some extra ace bandage
here and you should rewrap her hand tomorrow or if she gets it wet. Either that or you can call me and I’ll do
it.” Carey said looking up at Kevin, who was still looking at Michelle. “Kevin!” his voice caused Kevin to look over
at him. “Did you hear me?” he asked
with a chuckle.
“Ah, yeah, Carey, sorry, I heard you though.” He
grinned sheepishly.
“Okay, what else hurts, Michelle?” Carey
asked.
“My left side aches and is covered in bruises.” She
replied.
“Well, let’s take a look,” he said as he felt along
her ribs. She grimaced as he touched
her and he saw her expression. He
lifted her sweatshirt and saw the bruises on her two lower ribs. “How bad does it hurt, Michelle? Does it
feel like you’ll pass out when I press them like this?” he asked applying a
little pressure.
“No, it hurts but not bad enough to make me cry.”
She said.
“Okay, then,” he said and gently lowered her
jogging pants a little to see the bruises on her hip. “What about here?” he asked applying the same amount of pressure
to her pelvic bone and hip area.
“Same as the ribs,” she said.
“That’s good then.
You’ll be sore for a few days, I’m sure. Get some rest, but do try to walk around. Otherwise, you’ll feel worse and your leg
will stiffen up, Ok?” he asked.
“Thanks Carey.”
“I’ll leave a prescription for pain should you need
it, but don’t anyone even think of trying to fill it tonight. That storm has turned into Tropical Storm
Mallory and I don’t want anyone going out there,” he said looking at Kevin
sternly. He knew Kevin was considering
running out right then and there. “Ok,
Kevin? She can hold off until tomorrow,
just give her regular Tylenol or something tonight.”
“Ok, Carey, thanks so much. I’ll walk you out.” Carey said good-bye to Michelle and wished
her luck then told her his room number should she need him.
When Kevin returned he sat on the left side of the
bed and faced Michelle. He grabbed her
bandaged hand in his lightly and rubbed his fingers over her exposed
fingers.
Michelle watched him caress her hand and smiled. “Kevin, thank you so much! I know I keep
saying that, but you keep being more and more wonderful to me,” she looked up
at him and was captured by his eyes once again. They stared at each other for a few moments and then both leaned
towards each other and their lips met in a light, sweet kiss. The kiss was brief, but neither pulled
back. They sat leaning their foreheads
together for several moments staring into each other’s eyes.
Finally, Kevin spoke softly, “Michelle, I feel a
strong connection with you. Something
or someone has brought us together and I don’t want to let go yet.” He brought
his hands up to her head and pulled her back towards him with a deeper more
passionate kiss. His lips enveloped
hers and he felt her starting to respond as her lips gently opened. He slowly traced her lower lip with his
tongue before gently pushing it inside of her.
She moaned gently and met his tongue with her own. She wrapped her arms around his back and
unconsciously stroked his lean body.
After a couple minutes, they both pulled away,
breathlessly. She stared at his
gorgeous face and said, “Kevin, I don’t know what I ever did to deserve this
moment, but I’ll treasure it always.”
She brought her hands up to his face and stroked his strong cheekbones
with her thumbs and then brought him back to her for another kiss.
Kevin finally broke the kiss after another minute
and stood up next to the bed. With a
bright smile he said, “Well, I better leave now so you can rest, ok?” She nodded her head, as she looked up at him
with a smile of her own.
Once he was gone from the room, she gently turned
on the bed towards the window and snuggled under the blankets and closed her
eyes. Her thoughts were jumbled, but
she knew what she just experienced with Kevin was mind-blowing. She hadn’t felt like that, in someone’s
arms, in over a year. She thought back
over the happenings of the day and didn’t know if she wanted to cry out of
sadness or happiness. Eventually the
tears slid down her checks as she decided it was a mixture of both. Within minutes, she had cried herself to
sleep.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Later on, Kevin, AJ and Howie were relaxing in the
living room and talking about Michelle.
They told each other of the different conversations they’d had with her
and they all agreed that she and Kim should stay with them for the rest of the
weekend.
Suddenly, the door flew open and Nick, Brian and
Kim came in laughing and dripping wet.
Howie jumped up from his chair and ran over to Michelle’s bedroom and
quietly closed the door. “Guys, not too
loud, she’s finally sleeping.” he said.
They stopped laughing and turned serious. Kim asked Kevin what the doctor said and he
explained everything to her. She nodded
her head and looked down in sadness.
Howie went over to her and put his arm around her shoulder. “What’s wrong, Sweetie?” he asked
tenderly.
She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. “My mom is hurt and sad and I’m having so
much fun that I didn’t even stop to think about how bad she may be feeling.”
she said somberly. All the guys jumped
up and surrounded her.
“Kim, don’t feel bad. She’s happy that you are having a good time. She told me so!” Kevin said.
Brian went to her other side and said, “Yeah, Kim!
And who would Nick and I have tried to drown if you were just sitting in there
with her being all pouty face?”
“Yeah, and who would have given me this awesome new
hairdo, if you weren’t here? “ Nick asked, rolling his eyes. They all looked up at his head and noticed a
couple of tiny braids and hair clips in his hair.
Everyone started laughing and AJ pulled her from
Howie’s embrace and hugged her tightly.
"You knuckle head, you are with the famous, the fabulous, the
outrageous BSB dudes and tears are just not allowed. Got it?” he asked her while squeezing her.
“Ahhh, AJ, you’re squeezing too hard!” she laughed
then and everyone felt the tension leave the air.
“Ok, Kim, go get changed and then meet me in the
kitchen and we’ll find some junk food for you.” Kevin said smiling. The others looked at him in surprise. Kevin never offered junk food.
Within ten minutes, Kim joined Kevin in the kitchen
and hopped up on a stool. He grabbed a
couple of Dr. Pepper’s out of the fridge and handed them to her and sat
adjacent to her. Then he started
rummaging through the bags on the counter.
“Um, we’ve got chips, candy bars, cookies, fruit. . . what do you like?”
he asked. She said cookies and he
passed them over to her. They chatted
for a while about different things and soon she was giggling like crazy when
she saw his expression while she was explaining Pokemon techniques to him. He had no clue what she was talking about. Eventually, their laughter brought everyone
else into the room. Howie and AJ
grabbed stools across the island from Kim, while Brian and Nick sat on the
counters behind her. They all started
questioning Kim on her favorite things and told her funny stories about each
other.
Eventually, when things started to lull, Kevin
asked softly, “Kim, where’s your Dad?”
She shot her head up to look at him with a pained expression on her
face. He instantly regretted asking her
and felt awful.
“He’s gone,” she said.
Howie reached across the counter and took her hand
in his. “Where did he go, Kim?” he
asked quietly.
She looked at him and fixed her eyes on his
eyes. “He died last May, in a car
crash,” she released a sob. Brian
jumped off the counter behind her and wrapped his arms around her. All of them were stunned into silence. AJ lowered his head into his hands and
groaned. Kevin stared at Kim with fresh
tears in his eyes and Nick kept his head down and didn’t say anything.
Howie squeezed her hand tighter, “I’m so sorry,
Kim, we had no idea,” he whispered. She
continued to stare at him and nodded her head.
“That’s why I was so scared earlier when I thought
my mom was going to die,” she said looking at Kevin. He nodded his head and wiped her tears with his thumb.
Brian kept hugging her and bent down to kiss her
cheek. “Hey Kim? Are you ok?”
She nodded her head and said, “I’m starting to get
used to it. He didn’t live with us
anymore before that. My parents
separated right after my mom got out of the hospital a year ago.”
AJ raised his head and asked, “Your folks were
split up?”
She nodded and continued, “My mom was really sad
for so long and she tried to commit suicide.
My Dad came home real late one night from playing cards with his
friends. He was drunk, but he found her
and called an ambulance. The sirens
woke me up and I started freaking out.
My dad was on his knees on the floor near her, crying and begging her to
wake up. He kept saying ‘I’m sorry, I’m
sorry’ to her. They took her away and
wouldn’t let me go with her,” she took a deep breath and wiped her cheeks, “The
police called my grandmother and she came over and got me. My dad wouldn’t go anywhere, he just stayed
on the floor crying.”
Everyone had tears sliding down their faces. Nick choked back a sob as he tried to catch
his breath. AJ looked over at him and
watched his shoulders shaking up and down as he cried silently. Howie kept hold of Kim’s right hand and
Kevin reached for her left.
“Kimmie, I’m so sorry we brought this up. Please forgive me?” Kevin begged her.
She looked back at him and shrugged her shoulders
lightly. “It’s okay, my Mom told me I
needed to talk to someone about this, but I hadn’t been able to yet. I don’t know why I just told all of you, it
just felt right.”
AJ reached over and tilted her chin to look at him,
“Kim, thanks for trusting us to talk about this. I promise we’ll all do anything possible to make you feel better,
ok? We want to see you happy and if you
want to talk more, we're all here, ok?” He released her chin and looked down at
his hands.
A couple minutes of silence passed when Nick
suddenly kicked Brian in the ass, which made Brian push Kim against the
counter.
“What the hell was that for, Dumbass?” Brian turned to Nick with a glare. Kim starting laughing and looked up at
Howie. He smiled back at her and raised
her hand to kiss it.
Nick jumped off the counter and said, “I kicked you
B-Rok, because I couldn’t resist it, with your little butt just standing there
in front of my big foot, begging it to kick you.” Nick smiled and cuffed Brian off the head.
Brian got a sly look on his face and said, “You
just wait, Carter, I’m so going to get you back!”
Kevin looked up at Nick gratefully; glad he had
somehow found a way to release the tension.
“Guys, why don’t you let Kim kick your butts at that Nintendo thing?” he
asked Nick and Brian.
Kim brightened up at the idea and said, “Yeah, like
I could ever beat the Nintendo freak!” she said looking up at Nick with a
grin.
“Hey, you never know unless you try, right?” asked
Nick.
Kim got off her stool and stood next to Brian. She slowly put her arms around his neck and
hugged him tight. “Thanks, Brian.” Then she went over to Nick and wrapped her
arms around his waist and thanked him too.
They both didn’t know what to say, so they remained silent. Then Kim went over the Kevin and wrapped her
arms around him; he immediately engulfed her in a hug too. “Thanks, Kevin.” She said. She released him and walked over to
Howie. They reached for each other at
the same time and hugged fiercely.
Howie leaned closer to her ear and whispered, “I love you, Kim.” She tightened her embrace and whispered it
back to him. Kim looked at AJ and saw
the love in his eyes, before throwing her arms around him and said, “Thanks,
AJ, I love you too.” He felt choked up
and didn’t trust his voice to speak, so he just nodded and hugged her tight. He felt her being pulled off him and looked
up to see Nick dragging her from the room towards their bedroom. Brian followed closely and was attempting to
kick both their butts all the way there.
Kevin, AJ and Howie just sat there and looked at
each other. “Holy Shit!” said AJ.
CHAPTER NINE
Kevin nodded and stood up, “I’m going to check on
Michelle,” He walked slowly out of the kitchen and into the bedroom on the
right. Howie and AJ collected the empty
soda bottles and attempted to straighten up the mess, but neither really cared;
they were just trying to find something to do with themselves.
Kevin had so many thoughts swimming around in his
head. He never expected to hear that
Kim’s dad was actually dead. He just
assumed that he and Michelle had gone their separate ways. He rubbed his hand along the back of his
neck as he entered the bedroom. The
room was rather dark, just a small lamp on in the corner by the windows. He walked over between the two double beds,
pulling a chair behind him. He sat down
wearily and watched Michelle sleep.
God, he thought, I care so much about her already and it’s only been one
day. Hell, it’s only been about six
hours since he’d met her! How can he be
having these feelings? He started
stroking her right arm that was flung out on the bed near him. He lightly traced the edge of her scar that
was not covered by bandage. This must
be it, he thought, our connection. He
brought his gaze back up to her face and watched her eyes moving behind her
eyelids. She must be dreaming, he
thought.
Suddenly, she let out a small whimper and cried,
“No!” while moving her head back and forth.
Kevin was startled and jumped up to sit next to
her. He lightly laid his hand on her
shoulder and nudged her, “Michelle, wake up, honey,”
Her eyes slowly came open and she drew in a deep
breath. “Oh god, I was dreaming I was
driving down the road and my car went out of control and I kept spinning around
and around.” she said hoarsely. She
tried to sit up and Kevin reached over to help her. She pushed the hair away from her face, rubbed her eyes and then
focused on him. “Kevin! You been here
long?” she asked getting her voice back.
“No, just a few minutes. How are you feeling?”
“Better, now, I guess. What time is it?” she asked.
He looked at his watch and said, “Almost
10:30. Are you hungry or thirsty?”
She shook her head slowly and gave him a small
smile. “What’s been going on while I’ve
been sleeping?”
“Well, we’ve just been hanging around. Kim went swimming with Nick and Brian and
now they’re playing Nintendo in the other room.” He brushed some of the hair off her check that had fallen back
down.
“Kevin, you look beat! And if I’m correct, you are still wearing the same clothes you
had on earlier when you and AJ found me in the pouring rain. Why don’t you go take a nice hot shower and
relax? I’m fine, I promise!” she nudged
him off the bed with her right knee.
“Ok, you’re right, that sounds mighty good
actually. Are you sure I can’t get you anything?”
he asked sweetly.
“If you have any Tylenol or aspirin, that would be
good,” she said.
“Ok, I’ll see what I can do,” He got up and went
towards the door as AJ and Howie appeared.
“Kev, how’s she doing, man?” AJ asked quietly.
“Good, Howie you got any pain relievers in your
stuff?” Kevin asked.
“Most likely, I’ll go check,” Howie said and left
the room.
Kevin watched him go and said to AJ, “I’m going to
take a shower. Ok, if I use your
room?” AJ nodded and walked over to
Michelle.
“Hey, Gorgeous,” he said as he sat on the left side
of the bed facing her. He reached over
for her hand and brought it up to his lips for a soft kiss.
“Hey, Sexy? What have you been up to?” she asked
him smiling.
“Just chillin’ with my pals! I’d rather climb in there with you and heat
you all up though,” he said with a sly grin.
Michelle laughed out loud and thought once again how much fun he
was.
Howie came jogging back into the room with a bottle
of water and some Tylenol. He went
around and sat on the other side of Michelle.
He leaned over and kissed her cheek.
“Hey Sweets, how are you?” he asked.
“Good and how is my beautiful Sweet D?” she asked
with a wink.
AJ threw his hands up and said, “What’s this? You
flirting with my pal too? Here, I
thought you only had eyes for me!”
All three laughed and Howie handed her the
pills. “Thanks, Howie.”
They chatted about inconsequential things for a
long while and then Michelle sighed and said, “God, where were you wonderful
guys a year ago?”
AJ’s face froze and his eyes turned mournful. Michelle caught his look and was confused,
“AJ?”
He stood up and started walking out of the
room. Michelle quickly looked over at
Howie who was watching AJ with a sad look.
“AJ! AJ!”
she yelled and he turned around surprised at her tone, “Please, come back?
Please. I’m sorry, I’m not sure what I said, but please come back,” she held
out her hand to him. He hesitated for a
few seconds and then walked back to her, grabbed her hand and sank down onto
the bed by her legs. She sat looking at
him and thought he seemed rather defeated.
“What’s wrong, Sexy? What did I say?” she asked him
softly.
He looked up at her and then over at Howie. Howie looked back with tears glistening in
his eyes and nodded his head. AJ nodded
too and turned back to Michelle.
“Six months ago, my best friend, one of our very
best friends, Deanna, killed herself while we were out of town on a short
promotion. We weren’t there for her
either.” he said disgustedly staring into her eyes and then looked down.
Michelle tensed up and squeezed his hand. “Oh, man, I’m so sorry, oh, god, I didn’t
know. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to come into your life and make you dredge up
your feelings. Christ, how I wish you
never saw me now!” she whispered as tears rolled down her face.
Kevin happened to walk into the room just as she
was saying that. He leaned against the
doorjamb and watched the scene in front of him. Howie reached over and placed a hand on her shoulder, “Michelle,
please don’t say that. We care about
you.”
AJ snapped up his head and looked at her harshly,
“Michelle when you said that, about where we were a year ago? That’s when you attempted suicide
right? And. . . oh god, how I wish I
knew you then and could have been there!
I wish I was there when Kevin tried it, I wish I was there when Deanna
succeeded! But I wasn’t!! I let everyone down! What the hell is wrong with all you
people? What the fuck were you
thinking?” AJ was shaking and stood
up. His hands balled into fists and he
spun around to leave.
Kevin walked towards him and grabbed him into a
hug. AJ fought him off at first, but
Kevin was stronger and held onto him tighter.
“Jesus, AJ, I’m so sorry! I’m so incredibly sorry I did this to you.” AJ stopped fighting
and clung onto Kevin, letting his sobs overcome him. Michelle grabbed Howie’s hand and he pulled her into a hug as
they watched Kevin and AJ, both with tears pouring down their faces.
AJ cried hard, letting all his anger out and Kevin
clutched him and cried just as hard.
“I’m sorry AJ, I was so stupid!
I wasn’t thinking right. I was
so caught up in my own misery and let my demons overcome me and I wasn’t thinking
of how much I’d be hurting you or Howie or anyone else. I just wanted to be free from my
misery. Please, AJ, please, don’t hate
me!” Kevin cried.
Michelle and Howie were both crying wholeheartedly
by now. Howie got off the bed and
walked over to his two friends. He
wrapped his arms around both of them.
They included him in their embrace and stood that way for several
minutes. Michelle closed her eyes and
cried behind her hands. She did this,
she thought; this is all my fault. She
turned her head away from them and continued crying into her pillow. She completely understood what Kevin had
just said.
Several minutes later she felt a hand on her left
shoulder pulling her backwards. She
looked up into AJ’s teary eyes and he pulled her up into his arms. “I’m sorry, baby, I’m sorry. Please don’t cry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean
to shout at you. Please. . . look at
me,” he begged. Kevin sat down next to
AJ, by Michelle’s legs. He placed a
hand on each of them and closed his eyes.
Howie came back over to her other side and climbed on the bed as close
to her as possible. Michelle opened her
eyes and looked at all three of them.
“Michelle, you okay?” whispered AJ.
She nodded, “AJ, I’m sorry. . . I wish I could
fully explain why I did what I did, but what Kevin said pretty much sums it up
for me too. I wasn’t thinking of anyone
else but myself. I was being selfish,
but I couldn’t help it.” She looked at him and felt a rush of love. “AJ, you can’t blame yourself for what
happened to Kevin or Deanna. If they
could have, I’m sure they would have asked you for help. I know I couldn’t bring myself to let anyone
know the extent of my thoughts and feelings.
I felt no one would understand me.” She hugged him tighter and laid her
head on his chest. “I’m sorry, baby.”
She whispered.
AJ struggled with his thoughts. He looked up at Howie and extended his hand
to him. Howie grabbed it and squeezed
it. “D, you’re my best friend and if
you ever, ever, get down, you better come to me and I mean right away!” AJ
stated.
Howie nodded his head and said, “Definitely,
Bone!” They all sat silently for a few
minutes, lost in their own thoughts.
CHAPTER TEN
“Michelle, why did you try to kill yourself?” Kevin
asked softly.
She pulled away from AJ a bit but still held on to
him and looked over at Kevin. “You sure
you want to know?” she asked fearfully.
He nodded and caressed her leg through the
blanket. “Please, tell us.”
Michelle looked over to Howie, who nodded and
squeezed her shoulder gently. Then she
looked up at AJ, who was staring at her with eyes full of emotion. He wanted to know what could cause someone
so young, just like Deanna, to want to end her life, but he was afraid of her
reasons at the same time. Finally, he closed
his eyes briefly, sighed and then gave her a light squeeze of support and said,
“We need to know.”
Michelle took a deep breath and wasn’t sure where
to start. She closed her eyes and
finally said slowly, “I’m not sure when it all started to get to me, but I’ll
tell you straight out that three of the people I loved dearly in my life were
alcoholics. My mom, my brother Matt and
my husband, Rob. My mom ended up
getting very sick and she died because of it, about three years ago," she
paused and opened her eyes, "Then about a year and a half after that, Matt
and his friends were out partying. Matt
lived in Orlando and was having the time of his life. He was 24, very good looking, had a great personality and a great
job as an artist at Disney. My mom’s
death really affected him and he started drinking more and more. One night, he and a couple of friends were
killed when their car went off a bridge.” she took a moment to catch her
breath, “Matt wasn’t driving, but all three of them were too drunk to think
logically and they couldn’t get out and they all died. God, I was so freaked
out by it. I couldn’t even face coming
down here to his funeral. My baby
sister, Patti, lived down here too and I made her go through the whole hellish
scene alone. We’ve barely spoken
since.” Tears were rolling down her face as she thought of her sister. “My
husband was always a heavy drinker. I
married him, knowing he drank too much, but we were so young and I was pregnant
with Kimberly. I did love him truly for
many years; it just started eating me up inside as the years went on. I had a pretty good job in a small law firm,
but my boss was lazy and I ended up taking on all the responsibilities. Eventually, I started questioning myself
about why I felt everything was so out of control and convinced myself that I
was just being weak. I pushed myself
harder to be a good daughter, a good mother, a good wife, and a good
employee. After my brother’s death, I
sort of snapped. He was so young and
shouldn’t have died. I became withdrawn
and stopped being a good mother and a good wife and a good employee,” She took
another deep breath and released it, “One night, last November, Rob was out as
usual and Kimberly was being so good and hanging out in her room, listening to
music and reading. For some reason, I
just felt it was time, so I went in the bathroom and slit my wrist.” She looked up then and all three men were
crying silently. She lowered her eyes
again and continued, “I woke up two days later in the hospital. I felt defeated, dejected, disgusted. The first thing I thought of after I woke up
was, ‘What the hell did I just do to my daughter?’ I was so mad at myself!
Here I have a beautiful, smart, funny and perfect child and I wrecked
her life. God, she'd already been
through enough with the deaths of my mom and brother and seeing Rob drunk so
often. I was so mad at myself for only
thinking of escaping and not being stronger for her. But, it turns out that was a good thing, getting mad. It helped clear my head. I met with several doctors and they
encouraged my anger. I spent a lot of
time cursing my mom and my brother for dying.
And then, I spent a lot of time cursing my husband for heading in their
direction, the only difference being; he was there physically for me to scream
at. In the long run, it didn’t help
him. He continued drinking and a few
weeks after; I moved me and Kim out and filed for a divorce. Rob was furious and didn’t understand. I had spent so many years indulging and
putting up with his drinking and now I was quitting on him. He was rather bitter, but eventually we got
to a place where we could meet and talk like civilized people. Kim went through hell during all of this, of
course. That’s my biggest regret,
letting her see my breakdown and then tearing apart her family. It took a lot of appointments at the
psychologists to help us both. We both
discovered humor as a great source of medicine. We started being really goofy with each other. We shopped a lot and bought loads of new
music and went to concerts and carnivals and all those other fun things you are
suppose to do with your children. She
brightened up considerably after a while.
But then, in May, her world came crashing down again. Rob was at work, had a few beers during lunch
with his drinking buddies and then he caused a major accident on the highway
and died.”
Michelle stopped and opened her eyes once
again. She reached over Howie for the
water bottle on the table between the beds.
She drank some and sighed. “That’s
my story basically. I'm ashamed of
myself, but I survived and I’m back to being the real me. I’m not totally out of control anymore. I’m rarely ever depressed. I have a lot of heartache to make up to
Kimmie and that’s what I intend on doing.
Just making her happy!” she said forcefully. After a minute, “God, I need a cigarette!” she added.
AJ pulled back from his embrace and said with a
surprised expression, “You smoke?”
She laughed a little and said, “Occasionally, but
after all that, that’s all you’ve got to say?”
She looked over at Kevin and he was smiling at
her. “Michelle, thank you for telling
us. I know how hard it was for you to
relive all that. I’m proud of
you.” He reached over and took her
bandaged hand in his and kissed her fingertips. She smiled slightly with fresh tears rolling down her face. But they were gentler tears, tears of
release.
Howie rubbed her back and bent over to kiss her
cheek. “Michelle, I’m proud of you
too. You are a very strong person and
I’m honored to have gotten a chance to know you.”
“Yeah, me too,” said AJ kissing her forehead. “Now, we can concentrate on knowing the full
of life you and the fun you and the happy you!”
Michelle smiled widely and said, “I’d like that,
Sexy! And you two, also,” she said looking at Kevin and then Howie, “I want to
know the real you. All of you have been
so wonderful and as crazy as this may sound, I already love you guys.” She pulled away from AJ’s embrace and wiped
her face with her hands. “Now, Kevin, I
expect to hear your story later, but right now, I have to go to the bathroom
and then check on my daughter.”
Howie got off the bed and then helped her up. She pulled him into a real hug and held him
tightly. He held her just as tightly
and asked, “Are you hungry, babe?” She
nodded her head against his chest. He pulled her around the bed and gave her to
Kevin. “I’ll see if room service is
still operating and get us all something.” He smiled at them and left the
room.
Kevin had wrapped his arms around her now and she
held onto him tightly. She felt so much
comfort in his embrace. He was so much
bigger than she was and she felt safe in his arms. They didn’t say anything, just hugged for several moments. Finally, AJ got up and pulled her good arm
towards him. She released Kevin and
felt AJ’s arms around her. She held him
a little tighter than the others and whispered, “Thank you, AJ.” She let go of
him and walked towards the bathroom, “Thank you both for everything!” They
turned towards the door and Kevin said he’d check on Kimberly for her.
AJ headed to his room and returned a few moments
later with something in his hand. He
went to the bathroom door and knocked gently.
“Michelle, you still decent?” he asked.
She chuckled and said, “Yeah, I am. It’s not too easy pulling your pants down
with one hand, you know.” He opened the door, entered and closed it behind
him. He put the toilet seat down and
made her sit on it, then he put a cigarette to his mouth, lit it and passed it
to her.
“Oh my god, AJ, you are fantastic,” she said
happily, and then took a long drag.
“Thanks!”
He chuckled and lit one for himself and then sat up
on the counter. “Michelle? I am sorry I
freaked out earlier, but I think it was a good thing in the long run, I've held
my emotions in for so long. I still
need to deal with it more, I know, but I guess this was a start.” AJ said
softly.
“AJ, don’t feel bad, I'm sorry too.” She stood up and went to stand between his
legs and looked up into his eyes. “Now,
hurry up and finish your cigarette, or I’m going to pee my pants!”
He grinned slyly and pulled on his cigarette, then
pushed her back gently and jumped off the counter. He flipped the toilet seat up, placed his cigarette between his
lips and then quickly pulled her pants and panties down and pushed her onto the
toilet.
“Holy shit, AJ! I can’t believe you!” She started laughing hysterically and bent
forwards in modesty. “Oh my god, that
was a first!”
He was holding his side from laughing so hard. He spun around and turned the water faucets
on full force and then said, “Ok, I’ll turn my back and cover my ears and you
can pee to your heart’s content.” He
spun around and leaned against the door.
Michelle was laughing so hard and just peed.
When she was done, she sat there and continued
smoking her cigarette. “Okay, Mr.
Smarty, how do you propose I finish this up?” she asked with a playful
grin.
AJ dragged on his cigarette and then tossed it into
the sink. “Well, I guess I’ll just have
to wipe you off and pull up your pants?” he said winking at her.
She hooted and said, “I don’t think so! Just hand
me some tissue and turn around again.”
He did that but after a minute he turned his head slightly and watched
her through the mirror, struggling to pull up her pants. He cracked up laughing again and turned
around and yanked her pants up. Then he
grabbed her good arm and pulled her over to the sink. He took her cigarette from her fingers and held it to her mouth
for one last drag, then dropped it into the sink. He pumped some soft soap on her hand and rubbed if vigorously and
rinsed it off. Michelle was still
laughing as AJ bent behind her and flushed the toilet.
“Oh my god, AJ, I owe you big time. Next time I have to pee, I know whom I’m
calling. Perhaps we should make a
secret pee code?”
He laughed and ruffled up her hair. “Babe, you are great!” He slung his arm over her shoulder and
opened the bathroom door.
As they were walking out, Kevin walked into the
room and looked at them with a quizzical face and a smirk. “Partners in crime, eh? And you were smoking
in my bathroom? Gross!” he walked passed them and grabbed some air freshener
from the bathroom and proceeded to spray it all around, just a bit
exaggerating. When he was done, he came
behind them and pushed them both towards the living room. “Let’s go and eat.”
The four of them sat companionably around the
living room eating burgers and fries and making small talk. When she was a little more than half-way
through, Michelle groaned and said, "God, I'm stuffed!" AJ reached over and grabbed the rest of her
meal and proceeded to wolf it down.
They all laughed and Michelle stood up slowly and said, "I've got
to check on Kim." She looked at
Kevin and he indicated which room with his head. The door was partially open and she pushed it a little more and
looked in.
The guys heard her saying, "oh, how
sweet," and Howie got up and went over to stand behind her. He smiled and wrapped his arms around her
waist and rested his head on her shoulder.
Her arms automatically covered his and they stood that way watching the
three sleeping babies before them.
Kevin and AJ came over and pushed the door all the way open to see. There on the bed was Nick, Kim and Brian,
all sound asleep. Kim was lying on her
stomach in the middle with her head at the foot of the bed. Brian was to her left, closest to the
windows, curled onto his right side.
Kim's foot was pressed against his neck. Nick was on the other side on his back, propped up by a couple of
pillows. In his hand, which was lying
on his stomach, was a Nintendo controller.
The television screen at the end of the bed was black with red letters
blinking on and off.
"I wish I had a camera right now,"
whispered Michelle.
"I've got one," AJ said and ran off to
his room next door. When he returned he
had a camera in one hand and a video camera in the other. He handed the camera to Kevin who proceeded to
snap a picture of the three of them. He
entered the room quietly and took three more pictures, one of each of their
sleeping faces. He turned around
quickly and snapped a picture of Michelle, Howie and AJ as well.
Howie chuckled and released Michelle. "We should move at least one of them,
or someone will end up on the floor".
"Wait a sec," said AJ as he brought the
video camera up to his face and started filming.
AJ draped his arm over
Michelle's shoulders and proceeded to record the scene before them. Howie went over and removed the controller
from Nick's hands and placed it by the television. He then looked at the camera with a sly grin and moved to Nick's
feet. He slowly drew the white socks
off his feet and turned back to the camera, pretended to sniff them and made a
grotesque face. He then turned back to
Nick and placed the offensive items under his nose. Nick unconsciously waved them away and mumbled something incoherent. Kevin leaned against the dresser and laughed
quietly. Howie continued to rub the
socks against Nick's face and tried to push them into his mouth. Nick bolted upright and swung his arm
wildly, hitting Howie in the shoulder.
He stumbled backwards and grabbed the bedside table to break his fall,
laughing hysterically.
Nick looked at him
wild-eyed and said, "What the fuck?"
Kevin chuckled and
pushed himself away from the dresser and walked over to Nick, bending down to
grab his arm. "Come on, buddy, get
in the other bed." He pulled Nick
up and Howie clutched his other arm.
They guided him to the bed and he fell onto it, rolling over onto his
stomach and quickly falling back asleep.
AJ and Michelle were laughing uncontrollably at the door.
AJ then swung the camera
back to the other bed and filmed Howie as he pulled the covers down from the
spot Nick had vacated. He flipped the
pillows over and then leaned on the bed to scoop Kimberly into his arms. He turned and placed her in Kevin's arms who
took her and put her in the bed properly and covered her up. Howie went over to the closet and grabbed a
spare blanket and then brought it over to Brian and covered him. He noticed something gripped in Brian's hand
and gently removed it. It was a picture
of Lauren, Brian's true love. On his
way back around the bed he switched the television off and headed out of the
room. AJ and Michelle moved out of his
way and Howie leaned forward and kissed Michelle's cheek as he passed. "Goodnight, all."
AJ shut off the video
camera and said he was beat too and going to bed.
Michelle entered the
room and went over to the bed where Kimberly lay. She sat gently next to her and watched her daughter's face,
peaceful and innocent in her sleep. She
leaned over and kissed her temple lightly while brushing her hair from her
face. Michelle felt overwhelmed with
emotions and shed silent tears while she watched her daughter sleep. She tucked her bad hand behind Kimberly's
back and drew them together in a tight embrace. She wasn't aware of how long or how tightly she held her when she
felt Kevin's hand on her back.
He whispered,
"Michelle, you'll wake her."
He gently pulled her left arm and she released her hold on
Kimberly. He guided her from the room
and closed the door behind him.
Kevin led Michelle to
their bedroom and she climbed in her bed gratefully. She was overcome with exhaustion. She curled up on her left side and pulled her blankets virtually over
her head.
Kevin bent down and
planted a soft kiss on her head and wished her sweet dreams. He left the room and went about turning off
the lights and making sure the main door to the suite was locked. He strolled, thoughtfully, to the sliding
glass doors at the opposite end of the living room and looked out into the dark
night. He could barely make out the
trees swaying dangerously in the wind.
The rain beat down onto the patio and flooded the flowerpots in the corners. His mind was flooded with thoughts of
Michelle and Kimberly. He cared for
them both so much already and wanted to protect them and make them feel
safe. He thought of the little girl who
had poured her heart out to him and the others earlier and felt his heart
breaking over her anguish. Too many bad
memories for such a short life. He
thought of his own parents and said a silent thank you to them and God for
giving him a happy and peaceful start on life. He pictured Michelle lying against the car earlier looking so
fragile and alone. Then he saw her in
the shower with her hands trying to cover her body from him and felt another
tug at his heart. She was beautiful
with her long hair hanging around her face.
He felt a surge of desire when he thought of her body. She wasn't perfect or pencil thin. She had just the right amount of curves to
make her so desirable, but not enough to lead him to think she was
overweight. In his estimation he
guessed she was around a size ten.
People always assumed someone like him and the others only gravitated to
women who resembled models. True, they
had a public image to uphold, but they were all tired of the cliches and
comments about anyone they happened to be seen with. Kevin's mind drifted to AJ and felt a surge of guilt for not
thinking sooner of how he had affected his good friend. "I have a lot of making up to do,"
he sighed, "to everyone!"
He turned away from the
doors and headed to the room he was going to share with Michelle. He looked down at her before climbing into
his own bed, glad to see hear her breathing steadily.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Several hours later,
Michelle was thrashing around in her bed and finally forced herself awake. She was having the same nightmare as
earlier. She sat up and let her eyes
become accustomed to the darkness. She
pushed her covers off and stood up slowly.
She noticed a body lying peacefully in the bed next to hers and smiled
while thinking how wonderful he was.
She quietly padded around the bed and into the bathroom. She closed the door before flicking on the
light switch. She grimaced when she saw
her reflection in the mirror. She
pulled a clean washcloth from the towel rack and ran it under cold water. She applied the welcome coolness to her face
and held it there for several seconds.
She dropped the cloth on the side and noticed the two cigarette butts
lying around the drain. She shut off
the water, grabbed a tissue and removed the disgusting objects and threw them
in the toilet. "God, good thing
Kevin didn't see those lying there," she thought with a small smile. She turned back to the mirror and saw the
shadows beneath her tired eyes. She ran
her good hand across her forehead, sweeping her hair back and off her
shoulders. She noticed her cosmetic bag
on the counter, with her toothbrush lying neatly next to it. "Someone certainly knows how to take
care of a girl," she murmured to herself.
She used the side of her bandaged hand to press the top of the Mentadent
container to squeeze some toothpaste onto her brush. She groaned slightly and placed her toothbrush carefully on the
side of the sink so that she could turn the water back on. She found it difficult to brush her teeth
with her left hand, something she never considered doing before. Finally, she felt better and left the room,
after neatly putting everything back in its place.
She walked quietly over to the windows on the other
side of Kevin's bed. She looked out
briefly and shivered at the rain still coming down. The wind had lessened and she felt some comfort for that. She stood lost in her thoughts for several
long moments when she heard Kevin turning in the bed.
"Hey," he said softly. She turned and looked over at him. He was so gorgeous, she thought. His eyes were barely open and he had a
beautiful smile on his face. "Come
here."
She went over and sat on the bed next to him. His right arm was flung out and she
automatically traced his scar with her bad hand. Her touch was so light, but it sent a shiver down his spine.
"You okay, hon?" he asked.
She nodded and replied, "Just had that dream
again. But I'm okay." She looked into his eyes and smiled.
He drew his blankets back and said, "Come in
here with me."
Without hesitation she turned and snuggled next to
him. He drew the blankets back up
covering her shoulders. She rested her
bandaged hand between them and snuggled deeper against his throat and chest as
his arm wound around her waist.
"You're nice and warm," she said as she
drew her knees up slightly. She hit one
of his legs and said, "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," he said sweetly into her
hair. "Do you want to talk about your dream?"
"It was the same as before, except this time
as my car kept spinning and spinning, I kept seeing images of you and AJ and
Howie and Kim and Nick and Brian. It
was weird. As each face flew by
everyone was smiling and then the next time they were crying. The last time you were all being pulled away
from me by something I couldn't see, like you were being pulled off into the
dark sky." She shivered slightly.
Kevin pulled her a little tighter to him and slowly
started rubbing her back. Her
sweatshirt had pulled up slightly and he felt his hand on her smooth bare
back. He continued to move his hand in
small circles at the base of her spine sending another shiver through her. "That feels nice," she whispered.
They laid that way for a while and Kevin could feel
her warm breath against his throat. She moved her bandage hand up and over his
bare chest. Her fingers traced small
imaginary patterns as she softly caressed him. He pulled away slightly so that he could look into her
face. Her eyes met his and he leaned
down and kissed her nose. God, did she
feel good in my arms, he thought. He
moved his lips to beneath her eye and placed a small kiss there. He felt her intake of a small breath as he moved
his lips over to her other eye. She
automatically closed her eyes and he continued to kiss her eyelids. His right arm curled around her shoulder
bringing her face closer to his. She
tilted her head slightly and felt his warm lips against her own. She moaned lightly and kissed him back with
longing.
His hand moved from her back to her stomach and he
continued massaging her warm skin until reaching beneath her breasts. His thumb moved upward and gently stroked
her hardening nipple. This caused another
moan to escape from her lips and he took the opportunity to slide his tongue
between them. He drew in a breath when
he felt her suck lightly on it. He
entered her mouth further and explored her passionately. She in turn forced her tongue into his
mouth, pushing his and she felt him draw her further in. His hand found her other breast and gave it
as much pleasure as the first one. Both
of her hands were on his chest now, running across his nipples and then down
over his muscular abdomen. His solid,
beautiful, hard body entranced her.
He pushed her gently so that she rolled onto her
back. He broke the kiss and moved his
lips to her chin and then over her jaw and down to her slender neck. He sucked on her skin lightly and ran his
tongue down and along her collarbone.
His hands pushed her shirt upward to expose her breasts. He gazed lovingly at them and kissed and
tongued his way to her nipples. Her
hands gently explored his back and waist.
She let out a rush of breath as he sucked her harder. His hand roamed back down her stomach and
abdomen inching its way to where she wanted him to touch. He ran his hand over her pelvic bone and let
his fingers stray over to where her leg met her body.
"Oh Kevin!" she moaned and untangled her
arms from beneath his and wrapped them around his neck. She forced his head back up and pulled his
mouth down to hers. She kissed him
passionately. She felt his hand caress
her mound and he massaged her so seductively.
She pushed her crotch towards him, silently begging for more.
He pulled himself up and onto his knees. Grabbing the bottom of her shirt, he pulled
it over her head, removing it as gently as possible and then flung it to the
floor. He gazed at her with desire and
brought his lips down onto hers again with a groan while his hands roamed her
chest and abdomen. She pushed his shirt
upwards and he quickly whipped it off before falling onto her again. Her hands roamed his back and then moved
lower to his backside. He moaned when
he felt her fingers caressing and squeezing his cheeks.
He pulled away from her once again and moved down
the bed slightly and began pulling her pants and panties off her hips. As he drew them down he planted soft wet
kisses all over her belly and thighs.
She eased her butt off the bed to assist him in removing the cumbersome
items. He drew them off all the way and
flung them aside. His hands roamed up
and down her legs gently pushing them apart as he bent his head to kiss the
insides of her thighs.
She reached forward and stroked his hardened member
beneath his boxers. He drew in a sharp
breath and moved to her treasure, inhaling her sweet scent. He ran his tongue along one side and then
the other. He found her bud and lapped
at it hungrily, before plunging his tongue into her.
She groaned loudly and pushed her hand into his
shorts. She tugged at his waistband
frantically, wanting to see his beautiful hard cock. She managed to get them down to his upper thighs and then forgot
about them as she encircled his meat, sliding her hand up and down
seductively. He groaned just as loudly,
and heard her say, "Kevin, please. . . "
He brought himself upwards and kissed her mouth
possessively as he kicked off his shorts and moved between her legs. "Michelle, I want you so bad," he
cried. She wrapped her arms around his
waist and pulled him forwards. He
entered her quickly and they both gasped.
She thrust her pelvis up to him and wrapped her legs around his. He cupped her heaving breasts as he
continued to devour her mouth hungrily.
He plunged into her harder and faster. "Kevin, oh god, fuck me baby!" she
cried. He wrapped her in his arms and
continued to invade her depths over and over.
He felt her walls tightening around his cock and knew she was on the
verge of orgasm. He pulled her still
tighter and thrust into her as far and as hard as he could. She moaned his name over and over as her
hands clutched and clawed at his back.
He finally exploded within her and with ragged breath cried, "Oh
god, Michelle!"
They lay silently for several moments, both
catching their breath. Kevin pulled his
head up from her chest and softly kissed her mouth, sucking on her lower lip
and running his tongue along the inside.
She responded by grabbing him tighter and kissing back. Finally, he broke the kiss and slid off her
to lie on his side. He pulled her close
so that her back was to him. He held
her tight against him and curled his legs into hers. She wrapped her arm over his and snuggled against him. Within moments, both were sleeping soundly.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Michelle awoke in a cloudy haze and felt a chill
wash over her. She was alone. The arms that had held her so securely all
night were gone. She opened her eyes
and looked towards the windows at the gray morning. At least the storm is over, she thought. She lay there breathing slowly and not
daring to move. She was stiff, lonely
and filled with shame. Someone entered
the room quietly and she held her breath.
Howie moved silently across the room with a tray in
his hands. He placed it on a low table
before the windows and then turned towards Michelle. He saw her eyes open and moved toward her.
"Oh god, Howie, what have I done?" she whispered
with fear, her eyes laden with guilt.
He took in her bare shoulders and wild hair spread
around her and across the pillow. He
sat down gently beside her and reached for her hand. He held it tightly in his and smoothed back her hair with his other. He watched a tear slide down her cheek and
he brushed it away. "Sssh, don't cry, sweetie." He bent down and
kissed her cheek before leaving her side.
He walked across the room to the closet and opened
it. After a few seconds he pulled a
long satin robe from a hangar and brought it back to her. She slowly sat up clutching the sheet to her
bare chest. He helped her slide the
robe onto first her left arm, around her back and then over her right.
He got up and turned around, heading back to the
small table. "Come, have some tea
with me," he said quietly. She
gathered the robe around her and climbed out of bed. He pushed the table closer to the window and brought the two
chairs together, side by side. He turned
and held his hand out for hers. She
took it and let him pull her over to a chair.
He gently pushed her down onto it and proceeded to pour her a cup of
tea. "Milk and sugar?" he
asked kindly.
"Just sugar, please." She replied
softly. He prepared her drink and held
it out to her. She took the cup from
him gratefully and brought it up to her lips.
"Thank you."
He fixed his own tea and sat next to her,
"Talk to me, sweetie." His
stare was filled with kindness and concern.
She looked up at him, expecting to see disgust in his eyes, and was
momentarily taken aback to see none of that.
He reached over and gathered her bandaged hand into his, rubbing her
covered palm and then her fingertips.
"Howie, I don't know what to say. I. . . I think I used Kevin last night. Oh god, he's been so comforting and good to
me and this is the way I respond?" she replied as fresh tears threatened
to spill from her eyes. She was so
confused and shook her head slightly. "Howie, I'm not a slut. I’ve never ever slept with someone the day
I’ve met them. God, I haven't even had
sex in over a year and I haven't thought of men in that way for just as
long." The tears slid down her face.
Howie gently caressed her fingers and said,
"Michelle, none of us would ever even consider thinking of you as anything
but a warm, caring, loving person. I
know in my heart you wouldn't just sleep with anybody unless there was
something there. I understand why you
slept with him, believe it or not.
Yesterday was an incredibly emotional day. We all felt and went through things that have shaken us up, more
so than we've been affected since Deanna.
You and Kevin sharing last night together was a culmination of all the
emotions we exposed yesterday." His voice was smooth and his tone so
incredibly comforting.
Michelle looked up at him in amazement. "God, Howie, how do you do it? How do you just keep on being more and more
precious to me? But the fact remains; I mistook Kevin's feelings and turned
them into my own desires. God, I
haven't even looked at another man in so long and in one day I find three
gloriously beautiful men and am attracted to each and every one of them. What does that say about me?" She lowered her eyes and fixed her gaze onto
her teacup. "I'm so confused. I love Kevin, but I'm not in love with
him. He makes me feel safe and special.
He was so tender with me yesterday and he kept me from falling apart several
times. How could I repay him like
this?"
"Michelle, please, I know Kevin inside and
out. He wouldn’t have allowed you to
use him. I guaranty he wanted you and
needed you just as much as you did him.
You have a connection and he saw a lot of himself in you yesterday. You have been given to us for a reason. We all need you. Look at how your presence finally got AJ to respond to Deanna's
death. Kevin found a soul mate in
you. Brian got over his self-pitying
and you gave him the courage to call Lauren.
You should see his smiling face today," he said smiling at
her. "Nick has a new best friend and
someone he can look over and care for.
You wouldn't think a twenty-year-old would need that, but he did. He's been the youngest for so long and now
he feels needed taking care of your baby."
Michelle looked at him gratefully and smiled
warmly, "How do you need me, D?"
Howie sat silently gazing at her, "I. . . I'm
not sure, but I know in my heart that you are giving me something that I've
been missing for so long. My heart
beats stronger when I look at you or think of you. I'm drawn to you inexplicably."
Michelle felt her heart skip a beat or two and
pulled Howie's hand to her lips and kissed his open palm. "God, Howie, you are so amazing. I love you!"
He took her cup from her hands, stood up and pulled
her up to him. He gathered her against
him and held her tightly as she started to sob. He clung to her, whispering soothing words in her ear.
*******************
Kevin had been in the hotel gym working out very
aggressively for well over an hour. AJ
had joined him, but had been moving at a much slower pace. Kevin laid back on the bench press and
placed his hands on the barbell over his head.
He gripped the cold steal and groaned.
AJ looked up from his position on the floor where he'd been doing
pushups. He got up and stood over Kevin.
"What's going on, Train? You've been pushing yourself over the limit
for the last hour and I know something is troubling you. Don't start holding back from me again!"
AJ stared fiercely at Kevin.
Kevin groaned again and sat up, placing his head in
his hands.
"I've fucked up royally, AJ. I totally took advantage of Michelle last
night." His voice caught in his
throat and he looked up at AJ. AJ was
glaring at him.
"What did you do!" he said in a deathly
low voice. His hands clenched at his
sides.
"I took advantage of her vulnerability and
slept with her. Go ahead, hit me. I can
tell that's what you want and I deserve it."
"You're damn right," AJ said and swung
his fist at Kevin's face. Kevin
expected it but didn't block the punch as it knocked him off the bench. He sat on the floor with his hands by his
side, hanging his head.
After a few moments, AJ walked over to him and held
out his hand. Kevin's head shot up
expecting another blow and was surprised to see AJ's offer of assistance. He grabbed his hand and got up. AJ gathered him into a hug.
"Kevin, we both know that if I was in that
room instead of you last night, I would have done the same thing, or at least
made my best attempt." AJ said gruffly.
They parted and headed over to the water cooler.
"AJ, then why the hell did you hit me?"
Kevin looked at him pissed.
"Because it was you instead of me. I've wanted her ever since we found
her. I can't explain it, something
about her makes me want to love her and keep her in my arms forever. God, she's wonderful. She's brought out all those feelings we
talked about yesterday, but she's also made me really care for someone other
than myself finally. I'm extremely
attracted to her. She's not like all
the fake whores who throw themselves at us day after day. She's real and she's good." AJ stopped and shook his head. "God, Kevin what are we doing?"
"I don't know, Bone. I love her too, but I've got Telly. I'm in love with Telly, for Christ sakes. And what does this say about my love for
Telly when I slept with another woman last night. God, I barely even thought of her all day yesterday. Michelle has been the constant one in my
mind. I've probably hurt her so badly
and when, or if, I tell Telly, I'll be hurting her too." Kevin took a long
drink of the cool water and then poured some over his sweaty head.
"Kevin, I understand, but we've got to stop
and remember that you weren't the only one in that bed last night. Was she responding? Did she want you?" AJ asked cautiously.
"Well, yeah. . . but AJ her emotions were all
out of whack yesterday. Christ, you
heard all of the shit she's been through in the last few years. She needed someone to love her in that way,
and I should have stepped back and controlled myself and let her find someone
when she was ready and in control."
Kevin walked towards the door of the gym. "I've got to talk to her."
AJ followed him and said, "We've got to talk
to her."
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Michelle finally pulled herself from Howie's
embrace. "Thank you, Howie. What the hell would I have done without you
this morning? I can't believe how
wonderful you are. Actually, you are
everything I've imagined you to be and so much more."
Howie winked at her and said, "So you've
thought about me before, eh?" he chuckled softly.
Michelle smiled back at him and said, "Oh yes,
I may not have thought of any men in reality, but in my dreams were you, AJ and
Kevin, to be honest. I'm sorry. Kim made me love you. I feel like a damn teeny bopper." She
looked up at him shyly.
"Michelle, thank you, you flatter me. I'm
honored that I was one of the men in your dreams." He pulled her back into another hug and
kissed her cheek.
"Where is everyone?" she asked.
"Brian, Nick and Kim went down to the hotel
restaurant for breakfast and have probably gone out to check the damage from
the storm. Kevin and AJ went to the
gym. I'm sure they'll be back
soon."
"I've got to talk to Kevin and
apologize." She said. "I better
get dressed. Who unpacked me
anyway?" she asked looking in the corner at her empty luggage.
"Kevin did this morning." He answered.
'He did? Do you think that means he wants me to
stay?" She asked with trepidation.
"We all want you to stay, Michelle. In fact, there is no way we are letting you
leave!"
"You are not going anywhere, Michelle!"
Howie and Michelle both turned quickly to the door
to see AJ walking towards them. He
walked up to them and said, "Good morning, D, sleep well?"
Howie looked at him confused, "AJ, we already
saw each other this morning."
"Right! Sorry." AJ turned to Michelle and threw his arms around her and hugged
her tightly. "Don't even think of
deserting us now, babe." He said in a husky voice. "Not when you have just come into our
lives. That would be just too
mean."
"Oh AJ, I love you!" she whispered in
response.
Kevin walked in the room warily. He caught Michelle's eye and said, "We
need to talk."
Howie moved as if to leave the room when Michelle
grabbed his arm and said, "No, no one leaves this room." She moved
away from both AJ and Howie and walked over to Kevin. Without saying anything she wrapped her arms around his waist and
held him tightly. He was surprised, not
expecting her action. After a moment he
wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly.
"I'm sorry!"
"I'm sorry!"
They pulled away from each other with questioning
eyes.
"Kevin, I'm sorry about last night. It was wrong of me to mix your concern with
my desire and needs."
"No, I'm the one who took advantage of the
situation and your vulnerability." He said. They stared at each other with confusion.
"Kevin, this is not your fault!"
"Hon, it is totally my fault! God, you don't even realize how much I've
done wrong, here. Michelle, I have a
girlfriend, whom I'm in love with."
Kevin watched her face for her reaction. He didn't see what he expected.
"Kevin, I would be highly surprised if you
didn't have someone you were in love with.
God, you are amazing and any woman would be so incredibly fortunate to
have you as her own. I'm sorry, I've
compromised your relationship now." She lowered her head and stared at his
glistening chest. "Kevin, I wish last night never happened, but on the
other hand, I'll never ever forget it.
You were incredible and made me feel desirable and loved. I haven't felt that way in so long." She looked back up at him to gauge his
reaction.
He returned her look with a small smile. "Michelle, I'll work it out with
Telly. And as for you, I was having
regrets this morning too, but I must admit last night was fantastic. I crave you even now, but I cherish you and
want you in my life as my dear friend, my soul mate, and I'm not going to act
on my cravings, for fear of losing you."
Michelle's eyes grew misty again and she inched forward and hugged him
once more. She didn't care that his
beautiful body was sweaty. She inhaled
his musky scent and sighed deeply.
"I love you, Kevin. I don't
want to lose you either."
He held her tighter and buried his face in her
hair. "I love you." They stood in their embrace for several
moments.
"Well, I have cravings too, you know!" AJ
said with a wide grin on his face.
"Oh yeah? What about me, I crave her
too." Howie stood defiantly and looked at AJ. All four burst out laughing and ended up in a group hug.
"Happy Thanksgiving!" shouted Kimberly as
she walked through the bedroom door, followed by Nick and Brian. "What's this?"
The group broke apart with guilty smiles on their
faces.
"I'm just being thankful!" said Michelle
and gathered Kimberly in her arms.
"I love you, baby!"
"I love you.
You're feeling better, huh?" Kim questioned her with a smile on her
face.
"Yes, I am.
Now, I better get dressed."
"Heck, I like what you're wearing!"
blushed Nick. Everyone looked at him
sharply and then laughed.
"Oh, Nick, please don't even go there!"
said Michelle as she reached for him and gave him a brief hug.
Brian stepped forward and with a flourish drew a
bouquet of flowers from behind his back and presented them to Michelle with a
bow. "Sweet Lady, for
you!" Michelle looked at him with
surprise.
"Brian, thank you, they are beautiful!"
"It's my way of saying thank you, for
encouraging me to call Lauren. We've
spoken twice today already. I can't
wait until she returns from England." Brian beamed.
"I'm so happy for you, Brian." She hugged him too and then turned towards
the bathroom. "Okay, everyone
leave so I can get showered."
They all started out and Michelle hesitated, then
turned back, "Kevin, please stay?" she looked at him hopefully.
He nodded, closed the door and turned to her with
questioning eyes. Michelle walked over
to him and grabbed his hand.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
"I need to know if we are really okay?"
she looked up at him. He led her over
to bed and they both sat down.
"Michelle, I'm still not feeling great about
last night. Like I said, I'm full of
guilt, but, again, I can't deny I didn't enjoy it." He said slowly.
"Me too, Kev.
But. . . I don't know where this is coming from, but I need you. Not sexually, but I need you in my life as
my friend too. You're the first person
I've connected with since I got out of the hospital. You and AJ were the first people to actually care about me
without knowing me or judging me first.
You could have just driven on by or left me at my hotel, but you
didn't. You stayed with me, a complete
stranger, and you took care of me, and of my baby." Tears were streaming
down her cheeks. "You've comforted me, you've listened to me, and you made
me feel loved last night." Kevin
wrapped his arms around her tightly.
"God, Michelle, I'll never leave you, I
promise. I need you too, you know? For
eighteen months I've lived with the guilt of my suicide attempt. Like you, I've been getting help from
therapists, but there's been something missing. They can all sit there and nod their heads at me while I try to
explain my actions, they can give me solutions to ensure I don't slip
backwards, but they can't give me what I think, what I know, you can give
me. And that's a soul mate, someone who
understands totally and can bring me peace." he closed his eyes tightly
and hugged her fiercely.
They were both silent for several moments, just
taking comfort from being in each other's arms.
Michelle started singly very softly:
I'll be the one... I guess you were lost when I met
you
Still there were tears in your eyes
So out of trust and I knew No more than mysteries
and lies
Kevin took over, just as softly:
There you were, wild and free
Reachin' out like you needed me
A helping hand to make it right
I am holding you all through the night
She joined him again:
I'll be the one Who will make all your sorrows
undone
I'll be the light When you feel like there's
nowhere to run
I'll be the one...
Michelle stopped and
listened to Kevin's beautiful voice, as he continued.
To hold you and make sure that you'll be all right
'Cause my faith is gone And I want to take you from
darkness to light
There you were, wild and free
Reachin' out like you needed me
A helping hand to make it right
I am holding you all through the night
You need me like I need you
We can share our dreams comin' true
I can show you what true love means
Just take my hand, baby please
I'll be the one I'll be the light
Where you can run To make it alright
I'll be the one I'll be the light
Where you can run
I'll be the one I'll be the light
Where you can run
To make it alright
I'll be the one I'll be the light
Where you can run To make it all right
I'll be the one To hold you And make sure that
you'll be alright
I'll be the one
Michelle gave Kevin one last squeeze and pulled
away.
"God, I'm sorry Kevin, I just ruined an
absolutely beautiful song with my caterwauling."
Kevin laughed at her and said, "That's our
song from now on. Just keep it in
mind. We'll get out of here tomorrow
and take a walk or something and talk more, ok?"
Michelle nodded her head. "Ok," she drew
in a deep breath and stood up before him. "but, God, Kevin, you really
need a shower. What the hell have you
been doing? And what the hell is that
on your cheek bone!" she gently touched his slightly swollen cheek.
He winced slightly and smiled, "Our good
buddy, AJ, popped me one in the gym this morning when I told him about last
night."
"Oh my god," whispered Michelle and then
she cracked up laughing.
"Hey, I don't think its funny!" Kevin
said trying to look serious, but he started laughing too.
"Kevin, just go. I'm about to pass out from
your stinkiness."
It took Michelle well over an hour to shower,
shampoo and get dressed. The worse part was trying to clasp a bra using her
left hand and the fingertips of her right hand. She gave up on trying to do
anything with her hair, except blow drying it and leaving it loose. She decided to dress better than her normal
jeans and shorts, after all it was Thanksgiving and she needed to brighten her
mood, so she chose a long thin white skirt covered with thousands of tiny dark
blue flowers, with a matching blue scooped-necked, sleeveless top.
When she finally emerged from the bedroom, she
noticed how quiet the suite was. As
she stood looking around she heard someone in the kitchenette and went in. Howie was sitting at the counter reading
some paperwork.
"Hi, Howie," she said with a beautiful
smile.
"Wow, look at you!" He jumped off his stool and went over to
her. He put his arms on her shoulders
and said, "You look gorgeous!"
She laughed and said "And you, Sweet D, look
even more gorgeous than usual."
She looked him over thinking how any man could be any more
beautiful. He had on tailored black
slacks, a crisp white shirt and a burgundy tie. "What's the occasion?”
“Well, it is a holiday. We’ve made reservations for the seven of us for dinner
downstairs, for one o’clock. Where’s
the bandage on your hand?” he asked.
“Oh, well, try as I did, I couldn’t keep it from
getting wet in the shower, so I just took it off. I was going to ask if Kevin could rewrap it. Where is everybody, again?” she said as he
guided her out of the kitchen.
“Kevin and AJ went to check out your car and make
sure it was taken care of. Kimberly
begged to go with them and, I think, Brian went with them. Nick went back to bed.” Howie drew on his
suit jacket and said, “We can run down to Carey’s room and see if he’ll redo
your hand, ok?”
“Ok,” She walked back into her room and scooped up
a small handbag.
Half hour later, Howie and Michelle were thanking
Carey for his assistance and urging him and his wife to join their group for
dinner. Carey and Karolyn begged off
and said they had already made plans for a quiet celebration just for the two
of them.
When they got to the lobby, Michelle went into the
gift shop, while Howie went to check on their reservations. Michelle bought a pack of menthol cigarettes
and rejoined Howie.
“D, I’m going outside for a bit, to smell the fresh
air and feel the sun on my face, ok?
I’ll be back soon.”
“Do you want company?” Howie asked concerned.
“No, thanks for offering though. Ok, truth is I’m going out for a cigarette
and I don’t want to see any disapproval from you,” she said, slightly blushing.
“Michelle, how could I disapprove of anything you
do?” he replied sincerely.
She was silent for a moment, thinking wildly. “Please Howie, you’re pushing the Sweet D
act a little too far here. You don’t
know how easily I could make you disapprove of me. From what I’ve read and heard about you, I’m sure a few of my
beliefs and ideas would not be to your liking.” Her tone had gotten louder and harsh. She stopped herself, wondering what brought this on. She looked over at Howie and saw the hurt
look in his eyes. “Howie, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it to sound like that.” She turned and walked quickly out of the
hotel.
He stared after her, shaking his head in
confusion. Brian appeared at his side
and said, “What’s wrong, D?”
Howie shrugged his shoulders and looked at Brian,
“I have no idea. She suddenly got
pissed at me and left.”
“Well, man, don’t even think about it. She’s had a rough couple of days and
probably just needed to spout off to someone.
Come on, let’s have a drink at the bar before dinner.” Brian pulled Howie off into the lounge.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
By 1:15 everyone had finally arrived at the
restaurant. Michelle wouldn’t look at
Howie when she arrived and seated herself between Kevin and Nick at the round
table. Kimberly was between Nick and
Howie and AJ sat to the left of them, Brian on Kevin’s right. It was evident to all that something wasn’t
right between Michelle and Howie as they didn’t look or speak to the other. They both tried to appear animated at times
when they caught bits and pieces of other’s conversations.
When the meal was virtually over Kevin leaned over
and whispered to Michelle, “What’s going on with you and Howie?”
Michelle shrugged briefly and replied, “Nothing.”
“Don’t nothing me.
Come on.” He guided her out of her chair and out of the restaurant
telling the others they’d be right back.
Michelle struggled to release her arm from Kevin’s grasp as they walked
towards the lobby couches.
“Kevin, this isn’t necessary! Let go!” Michelle said with clenched teeth.
“What did we say to each other this morning? That we’d be there for each other, didn’t
we? So, what is the problem?” Kevin sat
them down and looked at her sternly.
She said nothing for a few moments and finally
returned his stare. “I’m not sure. . .
I got mad at him for being too nice to me.
I don’t deserve it, especially from him. We are two worlds apart.
I don’t want. . . I don’t know.”
She turned her head and stared out the windows
across from them. “Michelle, I don’t
get it. What are you trying to say?”
Kevin turned her head back to look at him.
“I don’t want to fall in love with him, because I
know I can so easily, and then have him get to know the real me and not want
me.” Michelle swallowed and shut her eyes.
“Fuck!” she swore under her breath, “You guys have been so good to me
and you don’t even know anything about me except for what I’ve told you.”
“I know a lot of things,” said a voice softly
behind them.
Michelle and Kevin turned around in surprise. Nick walked towards them hesitantly with a
shy smile and then sat on the table in front of the couch.
“Kimberly and I have talked a lot, early this
morning mostly. She told me lots of
things, good things, about you. She
told me how you always made sure she kept up on her school work, even while
you’ve been traveling. How you made
sure she joined dance classes when she expressed a desire. How you signed her up for music lessons and
then went right out and bought her a bigger and better keyboard because the one
she already had wasn’t adequate. How
you’ve decorated her room, several times, to exactly the way she wanted. How anytime she got upset over her dad being
drunk, you’d take her into another room and keep her mind occupied with other
things or you’d take her out somewhere.
She told me how you worked really hard at your job and how you’d go
visit your mom in the hospital every day for a month. How you quit your job after her dad died and you just held her
and cried with her.” He looked up at
Michelle, blushing slightly. “She said
you are the best mom in the whole world.”
Michelle stared at his bright blue eyes and the
wisp of hair falling over his right brow.
She was speechless.
“Michelle, I’m sure everything Nick has just said
is the real you and I don’t see how Howie could hate any of that.” Kevin said
softly as he held onto her hand.
Michelle shook her head and whispered, “Kimberly
doesn’t know everything.” She looked
back at Nick, and took a deep breath.
“Did she tell you I’m an atheist?
Did she tell you I had an abortion when I was a teenager? Did she tell
you how I’ve abandoned my only sister, when she needed me the most? Did she tell you how often I said I hated
Rob when he was drinking? No! Because I didn’t tell her those things. And those are the types of things that Howie
would hate, aren’t they?” she turned to Kevin with questioning eyes, then she
groaned, “God, Nick, I’m sorry!” Nick
got up and sat on the other side of her and wrapped her into a hug.
“Michelle, no one is going to judge you on things
you’ve done in the past. Or at least,
we won’t. We’ve all made decisions
others wouldn’t like. We’ve all made
mistakes, especially us. We have the
world at our feet practically and you don’t think we’ve taken advantage of that
now and then. You don’t think we’ve
done things that we cringe about now?
How do you know how Howie will feel until you talk to him?” Nick asked
softly. Kevin looked over at Nick, not
believing this was coming from him. He
felt a surge of pride towards the younger man.
“Thank you, Nick.
I’m sorry I just blurted out those horrible things to you. I don’t know what’s going on. Everything is just happening too fast these
last couple of days. I haven’t talked
about myself this much with the same few people in so long. God, I’m sick of hearing my own voice!” she
said looking from one man to the other.
“This is suppose to be your get-away, and I’ve come barging in and
wrecking havoc all over the place. . . I think Kim and I will go back to our
hotel this afternoon after all.” She stood up to leave but was unable to as
both tall men stood up around her.
“Don’t do this, Michelle, please. Think of Kim. She’s so happy here with us.
We’re happy having her here.
Both of you have brought the real life back into our hearts. You’ve brought us back down to earth a
little. Please, don’t go.” Nick said
passionately.
“Please, babe, you know I need you. You can’t just walk out on me, or us,
now. You promised me this morning you’d
be here for me too. I’m not going to
let you come into my life and then try to run out of it just as fast because
you feel bad.” Kevin had his hand
gripping her upper arm and the anguish in his eyes made Michelle cry for him,
“We’ve only just opened the flood gates, there is a lot of work ahead of us and
I know you are not a quitter anymore!”
He pulled her into a hug so fiercely she caught her breath. She held him tightly and felt his tears
sliding down her face.
“I’ll stay. . . ” She said barely above a
whisper. She felt Nick’s hand on her
shoulder for a brief moment before he left the room. “Kevin, I’m sorry. I
swear I’ll be here for you too. It’s a
little lopsided right now, but I promise I’m here for you.” She turned her head up and kissed him hard
on the lips. “And I don’t care if you
do have a girlfriend, I’m not going to stop kissing you or hugging you,
ever! And I don’t mean that in a sexual
way, so don’t get nervous.”
She felt Kevin start to shake slightly and realized
he was chuckling. They pulled away from
each other and smiled. They wiped their
eyes and walked back into the restaurant hand in hand, happily this time.
When they reached the table, Michelle stood behind
AJ and placed her hand on his shoulder and gave a squeeze. Then she said, staring directly at Howie,
“I’m sorry everyone. I’ve been
extremely self-absorbed since I’ve gotten here and I promise to end it
now. You’ve all be so helpful and
wonderful. I’ve been blessed to meet
such caring people and for that I’m more than grateful, to you all.” She watched Howie’s brown eyes change from
hurt to love in a matter of seconds. He
pushed back his chair and came around to her and hugged her tightly. “I’m sorry,” she whispered to him. He answered by leaning down and kissing her
tenderly on the lips before pulling away and giving her a gorgeous smile.
“Gross!” said Kimberly under her breath causing
Nick, Brian and AJ to start laughing.
The mood was lightened and they returned to their seats to finish their
Thanksgiving meal.
Afterwards, Nick bugged Kimberly and Brian to go
shoot some hoops outside. After much
groaning, Kimberly finally agreed and they took off running. AJ, Kevin, Michelle and Howie went into the
hotel lounge and relaxed on comfortable couches around a low table, listening
to the soothing music playing in the background and chatting amiably. After a couple of drinks apiece, Michelle
finally talked Kevin into playing the piano for them. He played several beautiful songs, including Michelle’s favorite,
<I>Back to Your Heart</I>, which AJ and Howie sang along to. When he finished, Michelle pulled AJ and
Howie up for a standing ovation. Kevin
looked over in embarrassment and got a little redder when the other few patrons
in the lounge did the same.
“I’ll get you for that, Ms. Wyman!” he growled at
her but smiled anyway while he sank back into his seat.
“This is nice, but my body is just dying to get on
a dance floor and shake itself silly.” exclaimed AJ, “who’s coming with me?” he
asked looking at each of them.
“No way! I
don’t dance!” said Michelle.
“What?
You’ve got to be kidding me, everyone dances!” AJ was shocked at her
proclamation.
“I’m serious, only slow dancing occasionally, and
maybe, if I was buzzed enough, I could do the dirty dancing thing from that
movie. But that’s it,” laughed
Michelle.
“Well, I’ll have to add that to my list of ‘Fun
Things To Do With Michelle’, eh”, he smiled brightly at her. She laughed and nodded her head.
Kevin had been watching them silently and thought
this would be a good opportunity for Michelle and Howie to spend some time
alone and, hopefully, talk. “I’m up
for it, AJ. Let’s get Nick and Brian
and Kim, too.”
“Kim? You can’t take a ten year old dancing at a
club!” Michelle was shocked at his suggestion.
“Babe, we’re in a party town, they have dance clubs
all over the place and since its not even 4:00, we can so take her in a couple
places. Don’t worry.” Kevin replied
with a firm voice.
“Yeah, we’ll keep her under control, make sure she
doesn’t dance too suggestively or anything,” AJ added.
“You guys are awful!” Michelle said laughing.
“D? You coming?” asked AJ, itching to be on his
way.
“Nah, I’ll stay here with Michelle.”
Kevin got up and leaned over to Howie and
whispered, "Go easy on her."
He stood up and Howie was about to question him when Kevin walked away.
“Okay then, catch y'all later.” AJ and Kevin left to find the others.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Howie and Michelle sat in silence for a few minutes
after they left. Michelle was trying to
find the best approach to explain to Howie about her earlier tantrum. Howie was watching her and wondering what
Kevin had meant. Michelle seemed nervous
and was picking at the soft cast on her hand.
He eased himself out of his chair and moved towards her. Her head shot up and she watched him slowly
come closer. "God, I'm falling for
him fast." She said to herself.
He stopped next to her and then leaned down and
picked up their empty glasses.
"I'll be right back," he said smoothly. Michelle watched his retreating body,
admiring the ease with which he carried himself. She kept her eyes trained on him as he leaned against the bar,
chatting easily with the older woman behind it as she made fresh drinks. She saw him laugh out loud and thought again
how incredible he was. So easy going,
friendly and beautiful. He came back to
her, put his drink down on the table and sat next to her, handing her a drink.
"What's this?" she asked.
"Sombrero, try it," he said.
She lifted the glass to her lips and took a small
drink. He leaned over as soon as she
pulled the drink away and kissed her cool lips softly.
"Mmm, good," he said. Michelle's hand started to shake so he took
the glass from her and placed it back on the table. He eased back and put his arm around her shoulders and turned her
face up to his. He leaned in again and
brought his lips down towards her again.
Before letting his lips touch hers he whispered, "I've been waiting
to do this for hours." He kissed her slowly, savoring the softness and
fullness of her mouth. First kissing
both lips and then moving ever so gracefully to concentrate on first her top
lip and then her bottom lip, before pulling her closer and deepening the
kiss. She moaned slightly and
shivered. He pulled back and ran his
thumb over her mouth.
She stared into his eyes, "Oh Howie. . .
" She said breathlessly.
He kissed her again, running his tongue lightly
across her lips. She wanted him to
continue so much, but finally gently pushed him back.
"Howie, please, I need to talk. . . "
He interrupted her. "I love this song, dance
with me." He pulled her up from the couch and led her to the small dance
floor. He held onto her hand and
brought it close to his chest as he moved his other hand to the small of her
back. Her bandaged hand automatically
went to his upper arm and she marveled inwardly at the firmness of his
body. He leaned his head against hers
and sang softly:
Childhood living is easy to do
The things you wanted I bought them for you
Graceless lady, you know who I am,
You know I can't let you slide through my hands
Wild Horses, Couldn't drag me away,
Wild, wild horses, Couldn't drag me away...
I watched you suffer a dull, aching pain
Now you decided to show me the same
No sweeping exits or offstage lines,
Can make me feel bitter or treat you unkind
Wild Horses, Couldn't drag me away,
Wild, wild horses, Couldn't drag me away...
I know I dreamed you a sin and a lie,
I have my freedom but I don't have much time
Faith has been broken, tears must be cried,
Let's do some living after we die
Wild Horses, Couldn't drag me away,
Wild, wild horses, We'll ride them someday
Wild Horses, Couldn't drag me away,
Wild, wild horses, We'll ride them someday
(Wild Horses, Rolling Stones)
Although the song had ended, neither wanted to let
go, they stood there on the empty dance floor holding each other. Finally, Howie led them back to their seat,
their arms wrapped around each other.
They sank as one onto the sofa and sat with their foreheads touching.
"Howie, you can't do this to me,"
Michelle said ever so quietly, "there are things I need to tell you."
"Sssh, not now, babe, we have plenty of time
to talk. Right now I just want to hold
you in my arms and feel my love grow." He empathized his comment by
squeezing her to him gently.
"Howie, I don't deserve you! I've done things, in the past, that would
make you hate me." She tried to pull away, but he held his grip on her
firm.
"Michelle, what's in the past is over and done
with, and no matter how horrible you may think they are, I'll never hate
you. I love you." he found her
lips and kissed her passionately.
She couldn't hold back, she grabbed the back of his
neck and pushed her mouth against his, just as passionately. "Howie, I've loved you since the moment
I saw you yesterday. I've never felt so
much love for someone so instantly."
They stayed that way for a long time, relishing in
and absorbing their new feelings.
Alternately kissing each others lips, cheeks, eyes and neck.
***********************
At the club, Kimberly was doubled over from
laughing so hard. She'd never danced so
much in her life. She had no idea what
she was doing, but with AJ and Nick constantly dragging her back onto the dance
floor and teaching her moves, she was having a blast. Brian and Kevin shared a table off to the side, drinking sodas
in honor of Kim.
"Kevin, what's happened the last two
days? Everyone is more relaxed, despite
the emotions flying left, right and center.
I haven't seen Nick having so much fun in ages. You've got a glint back in your eyes. I've got my heart feeling whole
again." Brian was watching Kevin
watch the dance floor with a smile.
"It's her and her mother," he said
pointing to Kimberly. "They've
brought something back into our lives.
Kimmie has brought her youth and her giggles and her sadness. We see little kids, with their big smiles and
screams, all the time, but we never really know them. We don't know what's behind those smiles. We don't know what heart break they've
endured. We don't listen to their
voices when they talk animatedly about something they love." He paused and took a sip of his drink and
turned to Brian, "We've all felt her pain and her joy lately. Look how much fun we had this morning with
her. Shit, even I couldn't stop
laughing when she was mimicing her friends and how they gush over Nick. We see kids doing that all the time, but
not on a personal level like this."
Brian nodded his head and watched Kimberly trying
to copy AJ's swinging hip moves. "I know what you mean, Train."
"And Michelle, well, despite her heartaches,
she's kept a positive attitude. Sure,
she's feeling loads of guilt and gratitude right now, but I can see the person
she really is. She's loving and caring
and strong. I've just got to help her
see all that in herself more. She's
good for me. I've felt the same sort of
anguish she has, for different reasons of course, but we've shared the same
thoughts and feelings. There are things
none of you could ever understand, but she could." He broke off and shook
his head. "Anyway, let's get up
there and show Kimberly the right way to do that move, before AJ ruins her for
life."
*******************
When the dancing fools returned around 8:00, they
found Michelle and Howie cuddled in a corner of one of the sofas, watching
television. They’d taken a walk around
the grounds of the hotel and had discussed their plans for the next few
weeks. Michelle needed to find a new
car, an apartment, a school for Kimberly, a job and most, importantly, a way to
make up to her sister. Howie told her
of a few promotions they were doing locally, the plans for their next video,
his desire to have a few relaxing weeks and his hopes for their next tour. They walked hand in hand, comfortable in
each other’s presence.
“Hey, Mom!
Don’t you look comfy?” Kimberly said with a wide grin.
“Hush you!” replied Michelle laughing, “Did you
have a good time?” She could tell just by the sparkle in Kim’s eyes and the
huge smile she couldn’t get rid of.
“Babe, you have got the makings of another Britney
Spears here. This chick can move.” Said
AJ pulling Kim into a dance spin.
Brian came over and flopped into a chair beside
them. “God, I’m beat!”
Kevin walked around the couch and bent to kiss
Michelle on the top of her head.
“Everything okay?” he whispered.
She nodded and gave him a big smile.
He smiled back and threw himself onto the other couch.
AJ looked at his buddies and then exclaimed, “I
can’t believe you guys, I did all the dancing and you two lumps are acting like
you’re ready to die!” He pulled Kim
towards his room, “Come on Kim, this party ain’t over. Nick, you coming?”
Nick ran after them. “Count me in!”
An hour later, Kim emerged from AJ’s room
quietly. Kevin heard the door and
looked up from his position on the couch and bolted upright. He stared at Kimberly in shock and shook his
head. Kim purposely walked behind the
couch to address her mother. “Mom, you
awake?”
Michelle nodded and was about to turn her head when
she noticed Kevin.
“Kevin, what’s wrong!” she was about to jump up to
go over to him, when he held up his hand to stop her.
“Kimberly, come over here, please.” he said slowly.
Kim groaned slightly and walked between the
adjacent couches and stood before Kevin.
He stood up and turned her to face Michelle.
“Oh my god!
AJ MCLEAN, YOU ARE SO DEAD!” shouted Michelle. She stood up quickly and almost fell over Howie’s foot. He grabbed her and prevented her from
falling.
He stood up and looked around in confusion. “What’s going on? Oh man!” He looked at
Kimberly and started chuckling. Her
light brown hair was covered in purple streaks, compliments of none other than
AJ. Brian woke up and started laughing
quietly.
“Howie, it’s not funny!” cried Michelle. She heard giggling behind her and flew
around to find AJ and Nick, both with purple streaks as well, doubling over in
laughter.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Michelle walked towards AJ with fury on her
face. She pulled Nick out of the
doorframe and pushed AJ into the room, slamming the door behind her.
“Whoa, chill, babe, it’s not permanent. It’ll be gone by next week.” He said with a wild grin, while backing into
the room further as she advanced. He
hit the bed and fell back onto it.
“A week!
She has to walk around like that for a week? AJ, you are nuts! I have
to sign her up for school and find somewhere to live next week and now I have
to do it with purple hair! God, I don’t believe you!”
AJ pushed himself into a sitting position and
grabbed the back of her legs pulling her towards him. He rested his head on her abdomen and ran his hands up and down
the back of her thighs.
“Please, baby, don’t yell at me.”
Michelle struggled to push him away from her, but
he wrapped his arms around her ass to prevent her from moving. He let one hand loose and scooped up the
back of her skirt so he could run his hands over her bare legs.
“Listen, Mr. Hot Shot, if you think you’re going to
get back in my good graces by trying to feel me up, then you’ve got another
think coming.” Her anger quickly faded
away.
“Oh baby, you are so hot!” he said while pushing
her shirt up with his nose and then kissing her belly.
“AJ” Michelle couldn’t help laughing, “Come on,
this has been fun, but stop. Enough is
enough.”
“Mmm, never enough” he mumbled and licked around
her belly button.
“AJ, stop, that tickles and. . . ” she gasped.
“Baby, I know this is turning you on and you want
me!” he said seductively into her belly, while running his hands all over her
thighs and ass. He slid one hand under
her panties and trailed his fingers down to her wet pussy. She grabbed hold of his shoulders,
moaning. He slid a finger into her and
brushed his thumb over her clit.
“Feel what you do to me, baby,” he said hoarsely as
he pulled her good hand down to his crotch.
He was rock hard and groaned when he pressed her palm onto his bulge.
“AJ,” she moaned.
With all her strength, she pulled her hand from him and pushed herself
away from his grasp, “God, AJ, I’d like nothing better than to climb onto your
lap and let you fuck the hell out of me,” she said breathlessly, “but I can’t.
. . I can’t do that to you, or me, or Howie!”
“Howie, what’s he have to do with this?” he asked
trying to pull her back to him.
“Please, AJ, I love him. . . ” She looked into his
eyes and saw his confusion. “You are incredibly
sexy and you really turn me on, and I love being with you. You make me laugh, but I can’t just have sex
with you.” She felt a good cry coming on.
“You make me feel so sexy, AJ. I
wish things were different, but I don’t think either one of us wants to ruin
our new friendship with this.” She bent
down and kissed the side of his face and pulled him in tight against her
chest. “Please, don’t be mad at me. I couldn’t stand that. I love you, but not like I love Howie.”
AJ wrapped his arms around her waist and stood
up. He tilted her chin to look up at
him. “I’m sorry, babe. As much as I want you, I know it’s not
right. I love you too, and I’m just
really horny and I almost used you to quench my lust. God, I’m sorry, forgive me?”
He looked down at her with his beautiful brown eyes full of affection,
silently begging her for forgiveness.
“AJ, I doubt I could ever stay mad at you,” she said smiling and reached up to
kiss his cheek again. “Let’s just be friends that flirt outrageously with each
other and never act upon it, ok? Like I
said, you make me feel so sexy and I like that!” God, I’m sick, she thought.
“My buddy D, is one lucky man. Once you let him get down and funky with
you, you’ll forget all about me anyway.” He said with a wicked grin. Michelle started blushing. “God, you blush at me just mentioning that,
you must have it bad for him!” She
laughed and turned towards the door.
“Oh and AJ, good job on your hair, but I’m still
pissed at you for Kimberly’s.” she said with a huge smile and left the room.
She returned to the living room, only to find it
empty. She walked over to Nick and Brian’s room and poked her head in. They were having a fierce game on
Nintendo. “Where’s Kim?” she asked
softly.
Neither one would take their eyes off the
screen. “Check your room, Shelley.”
Said Nick, whooping as he kicked Brian’s butt.
Michelle shook her head, wondering why he called her that. She smiled and walked towards her room.
She heard grumbling coming from the bathroom and
walked to the partially closed door, quietly poking her head in. Kim was leaning over the sink between Howie
and Kevin. They both had their hands in
her hair trying to shampoo out the purple streaks.
The young girl wasn’t happy and was hollering at
them, “Ouch, you don’t have to pull so hard! What’s wrong with purple hair
anyway. I like it and I want to keep
it!”
“Yeah, but your mom don’t like it and I don’t like
it,” replied Kevin with a grin.
Michelle leaned against the doorjamb and caught his eye. She smiled at him and he winked at her.
“Ok, Kev, let’s see if this is any better.” Howie
said as he squirted more water over the squirming child’s head. Michelle reached out her hand and gently
caressed his back. He turned his head
and flashed her a gorgeous smile.
“Just wait until I tell my mom how mean you two are
being!” Kim shouted into the sink.
Michelle raised her eyebrows and hid a laugh behind her hand. Kevin chuckled and threw a towel over Kim’s
head.
“Ok, Squirt, let’s hope that did the trick.” He
said laughing. Kimberly pulled herself
upright and caught her mother’s eyes in the mirror.
“Mom, it’s not funny!” she wrapped the towel around
her head and pushed her way past Howie to stand before her mother. She had tears in her eyes. Michelle felt a rush of sympathy for her and
hugged her.
“Kimmie, please, it’s okay for Halloween or a
party, but not for a whole week. I’m
sorry you’re mad at us, but I’m not letting you walk around like that. Despite how mature you may think you are,
you’re still my little girl.” Michelle
looked up at Howie and Kevin and they saw the anguish in her eyes. She hated hurting her.
Kimberly pulled herself away and looked at her
mother. She instantly felt bad for her
behavior. “Fine, but on the weekends,
I’m getting some hair mascara and I’m coloring my hair! And it will be a lot funkier than what AJ
does!” she said grinning. Michelle
nodded and kissed her towel-covered head.
Kim rushed out of the bathroom, yelling, “AJ, look what they made me
do!”
The three of them burst out into laughter and
straightened up the bathroom together.
When they were done, Kevin decided he was going to bed and shut the
bedroom door behind them.
He walked over and sat on the end of his bed while
removing his shoes and chuckled to himself.
He really liked having Kimberly around and couldn’t wait to have a child
of his own some day.
Howie and Michelle went back into the living room
and collapsed on the couch laughing. He
wrapped his arms around her shoulders and she wrapped hers around his waist,
reveling in the warmth of each other.
“Michelle, I never realized all the things that
come along with being a parent. You do
a good job,” he said.
“Thanks, Howie.
It’s nice to hear that. And
thank you for learning quickly.”
“Did you kill AJ in there? He’s awfully quiet?” Howie asked. Michelle felt a moment of guilt and then
decided to be straight with him.
“He’s okay, and no I didn’t kill him. I’d never be able to hurt him. He’s special to me too, Howie. I hope that doesn’t bother you. I can’t help reacting to his flirting and I
don’t want you to get the wrong idea, but I enjoy it too. He’s so much fun, but I promise I’ll never
let it get out of hand.” She said looking into his eyes. He smiled and hugged her close.
“Michelle, he’s my best friend and I do trust him,
but if he didn’t at least try to get you in his bed, I’d think he was turning
gay or something,” he replied laughing.
“Oh Howie, you are just too incredible!” she
said. They laid in each other’s arms
for another hour watching television, but not really watching it. Finally, at 10:30, Michelle got up and said
she had to go to bed. Howie walked her
to her bedroom door and kissed her sweetly.
“Sleep well, my love. I’ll make sure Kimmie is all set and I’ll be dreaming about you.”
He kissed her more passionately and then pushed her into the room, closing the
door behind her.
Michelle let her eyes become accustomed to the
darkness. Kevin had left the bathroom
light on, with the door opened just slightly.
She gathered some pajamas from the dresser and quietly went to
change. When she emerged, she turned
the bathroom light off and walked around her bed to Kevin’s bed. She leaned over and heard his even
breathing. She ran her hand along his
head and bent to kiss him, whispering, “I love you.” She climbed into her own bed and fell asleep with a smile on her
face.
Around 1:00 Michelle was awakened by a noise. She lay still in her bed trying to decipher
what it was. Finally, she turned her
head towards Kevin’s bed and realized it was him, whimpering.
She eased out of her bed and knelt behind him. She touched his shoulder and felt him
shudder. She ran her hand along his
cheekbone to his forehead. He felt
clammy. She couldn’t understand his
words as he started to mumble. She
eased herself against the headboard and wrapped her arms around his shoulders
and pulled him close. She continuously
ran her hand through his hair and over his forehead, trying to offer him
comfort. She reached down and pulled
the covers up high over both of them and leaned her head against his. She softly whispered comforting words to him
over and over until she felt him settle down and sleep peacefully. After making sure he was fine, she closed
her eyes and fell asleep.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
- DAY THREE
“Michelle, get up sleepy head!” she groaned and
fought off a hand that was shaking her.
“Come on, Sunshine, its a brand new day, the sun is beaming down and we’re
going out!”
She opened her eyes slightly to see Kevin leaning
over her, pulling the blankets off.
“Kevin, go away. . . ” she moaned.
She felt his hands pulling her feet from the covers and heard him swear.
“Damn, Michelle, don’t you own any socks?”
“What?. . . .What the hell are you talking about,
Kevin?” she whined in her dazed stated.
“Socks, I can’t find any in your stuff. Don’t you have any? Oh, never mind, I’ll be
right back,” he ran from the room.
Michelle curled onto her side pulling her legs up to her chest and fell
back asleep.
“Oh no you don’t,” he was back and she
groaned. He pulled her legs back
straight and sat down at the end of the bed.
He pulled some white socks onto her feet and then stood up. “Come on, lazy ass!” he said laughing. He pulled her into a sitting position and
grabbed her tank top and pulled it off over her head.
“Kevin, what the fuck are you doing?” Michelle’s
eyes snapped open and her arms went to cover her bare chest. She looked up at him fiercely to see him
coming towards her with a strapless bra.
“Relax, babe, it’s not like I haven’t seen them
before,” he said with an exaggerated wink.
He pulled the bra over her and then pulled a pink top over her as
well. He stood up and grabbed her arms
and pulled her into a standing position.
“Just what do you think you are doing?” she looked
at him wildly still not comprehending what was going on.
He just laughed some more as he pulled her shorts
down and flung them aside. He pushed
her back onto the bed and quickly pulled panties and white shorts over her
legs. He pulled her back up and pulled
the clothing up and into place. While
he was zipping up her shorts he looked at her with a wide grin. “This is called pay back, baby! You and me are going out to enjoy this
beautiful morning.” He grabbed her
sneakers and quickly put them on her feet and tied them up.
“Kevin, please I’m so tired. Can’t we go out later,” she whined some
more.
He dragged her towards the bathroom. On the counter was her toothbrush with
toothpaste on it all ready for her.
“Okay, you have as long as it takes me to piss to brush your teeth and
then we are outta here!” He turned his
back to her and started relieving himself.
Michelle picked up the toothbrush and brought it
towards her mouth. She looked up into
the mirror and laughed. “Oh like I
can’t see you!” she said.
Kevin turned his head towards her and grinned
wickedly. He finished up and flushed
the toilet. He bumped her aside with
his hip and washed his hands. He took
the toothbrush from her mouth and rinsed it off. “Let’s go!” he caught her hand and dragged her from the bathroom.
“Kevin, please, you’re going too fast.” She whined
yet again. He groaned and told her to
stop being a baby. When they entered
the living room, Kevin ran over to the phone table and scribbled a quick
note. He then grabbed his wallet, room
key and sweatshirts off the end of the couch and pulled her from the suite.
They entered the elevator in silence, with Michelle
throwing mean glances his way. She
walked over to him and grabbed his left arm and fixed her gaze on his watch.
“Christ, Kevin, its only 6:00 a.m.! Have you lost your mind?”
He laughed and pulled her towards him, with her
back to him and held her in place. He
bent and leaned his head on top of hers.
“This is my way of thanking you for last night.” He said softly. Michelle was quiet and nodded her head.
When the elevator reached the lobby they walked
hand in hand out of the hotel.
“Okay, boss, where are we going?” she turned to him
with a smile. He looked down at her
with a smile and then remembered something.
“Almost forgot.” He pulled a hair band from his
front pocket and held it before her eyes.
“Oh God, I’m out in public and never even brushed
my hair!” she looked up at him and laughed.
He went behind her and raked his fingers through her golden hair and
gathered it into a ponytail and then slipped the band into place.
“There, you’d never know.” He bent and kissed her
cheek and pulled her off down the street.
They stopped at the only store open and got coffees
to go, then they continued strolling down the street until they were standing
at the dock looking up at a huge cruise ship.
“God, its so big.” Michelle said. Then smiling slyly, she turned and craned
her head up to Kevin and said, “not as big as you though,” and she burst out
laughing. He grabbed her and started
tickling her right side. He lifted her
into his arms and ran to the edge of the dock, threatening to throw her
overboard. She laughed uncontrollably
and begged him to spare her.
They walked arm in arm for a half hour chatting
about the sites around them and anything else that came to mind. They finally found themselves along a beach
and Michelle pulled Kevin towards it.
The removed their shoes half way through the sand and left them there
with their sweatshirts. They started to
race down to the water, but Michelle complained her leg was still aching and
the race was unfair. Kevin ran back to
her and made her climb onto his back and he ran them both down to the
ocean. She held his neck tight and
wrapped her feet around his stomach and was laughing like crazy. She couldn’t remember feeling this free or
enjoying herself to this extent in so long.
She cocked her head to the side and planted a big wet kiss on his
cheek. He swung her around so she was
now facing him and teased her that she was going in the water with a
splash.
“No, it’s freezing!” she screamed.
“How do you know, you haven’t even felt it yet!” he
said and moved as if to throw her in.
She screeched and clung to him tighter.
He just laughed and walked further into the water with her and then
threw them both sideways into a wave.
They broke apart when they hit the water and Michelle came up sputtering
and laughing so hard that she started choking.
Kevin grabbed her and slapped her back gently, laughing. When she was okay, she stood up and
pretended to walk away, only to run back and push him backwards into the
water. He managed to grab her shirt
just as he lost his balance and he pulled her under with him. They played in the ocean for a while longer
and then finally dragged each other out and went and sat on their sweatshirts.
“God, Kevin, I haven’t had fun like that in so
long. Thank you.” She was trying to
wring the water out of her wet shirt.
He laughed and lay back on the sand and sighed happily. She fell back next to him and they both
laid there absorbing the sun. “Now,
I’ve got my cast all wet again.” She commented bringing her arm up to look at
it. He reached out his arm and caught
hers and pulled it toward him, making her roll to her left. She propped her head up on her elbow and
watched him. He gently stroked her
fingers.
“What are you thinking about?” she asked him
smiling. He turned his head towards her and smiled, his bright green eyes
sparkling.
“Ah, I was just thinking about how much I enjoy
your company,” he replied slowly. “When
I first woke up this morning, I almost died when I realized you were in my bed
and we had our arms around each other.
For a moment I thought we did it again.
But then I remembered feeling these soft warm hands on me and hearing an
angel whispering soothingly to me.” He
leaned towards her and kissed her gently on the lips, “Thank you, babe.”
Michelle lost her smile and was concentrating on
his face. She could tell something was bothering him and he was having a hard
time finding the right words. She
pulled her hand from him and brushed her fingertips along his cheek. “What aren’t you telling me, Kevin?”
He looked out to the ocean and sighed. “I’m okay, really. I know it’s my turn to talk openly to you about my past problems,
but somehow, it’s hard to put everything into words.”
“Just say whatever comes to your mind, and I’ll
sort it all out eventually,” she suggested, “or if you don’t feel like talking
about it now, I’ll understand, and I can wait”.
He turned his gaze back to her and smiled slowly,
“Now that’s what I like to hear.
Everybody always expected answers right away and couldn’t comprehend it
if I was willing to talk one moment and silent the next. They, mostly my mom, felt they needed to
know absolutely every little detail of my downward spiral, as if to justify to themselves
not noticing how deeply troubled I'd gotten.”
“Do you really feel you’ve gotten most things under
control? Do you still have some demons who just won’t go away?” Michelle asked.
“Yeah, to both questions, actually. I do feel and know I’m in control most of
the time, but in the back of my mind, there is this nagging feeling that every
now and then I’m not in control as much as I think I am and I get afraid it’s
all going to come crashing down again.” He replied.
“Kevin, no one is ever totally in control. There are things going on constantly that
shake up our lives and make us question our decisions or sanity. God, more so in your situation. Look at you! Famous world wide, you have the
demands of so many people to deal with.
You are constantly under pressure to perform perfectly and look
perfectly. . . and if you happen to be in a bad mood, everyone starts to look
at you with pity and fear, thinking you’ll snap again.” She stopped when she
felt his hand on her face. She looked
down at him and saw the tears in his eyes.
He sat up and grabbed her tightly.
“See, this is what I knew, that you would
understand without me having to go on and on and on about everything. Thank you.” He said, smiling now.
“What about last night? You want to talk about it?”
Michelle asked.
“I don’t really remember everything to tell you the
truth. Something about missing a flight
and having to walk to our next gig - stupid,” Kevin shrugged his shoulders.
“That’s not stupid, that’s your subconscious at
work. You care so much about your
career and your fans, and whoever else relies on you for their livelihood, that
you would do whatever you had to do to make it to the next place. I think that’s admirable.” Michelle said.
“How’d you get so smart, huh?” Kevin stood up and
pulled her up after him.
“I’m not that smart, I just try to think a little
more logically these days.” She said brushing the sand off her legs. “Now, since you forced me out of my. . . I
mean, your warm bed this morning, you have to buy me breakfast, cause I’m
starving!” She picked up their damp sweatshirts. “No place fancy though!” she laughed and brush at her damp sandy
clothing.
They walked back into town and found an outdoor
café to breakfast at. While they ate
Kevin told Michelle all about Telly and how they met six months ago when Brian
dragged him into the pet shop she owned.
“Doesn’t she mind having you gone so often?” she
asked.
“Well, sure, but she knew who I was when I met her
and she knows it can’t be a normal relationship right now. She is great though, but refuses to join me
when we’re on tour. Says she can’t
leave her business and that she doesn’t want to suffer at the hands of our
fans.”
“What?” Michelle asked wide-eyed, “What does that
mean?”
Kevin chuckled and said, “That’s right, you haven’t
experienced any of that yet. Down here,
it’s so peaceful and not busy right now, so you haven’t seen what happens when
we get recognized. Sometimes the fans
get a little jealous and treat our friends and girlfriends pretty bad. They’re just trying to show their love for
us, but unfortunately it hurts sometimes.”
“Wow, that’s rough. I keep forgetting how popular you are.” She said with a smile.
“Anyway, I’ll see her Monday when we go home and
introduce you to her. I think you’ll
like her, she’s sweet and caring,” he said.
“I look forward to the woman who has captured the
heart of Mr. Kevin Richardson.” She said standing up. “Let’s go, these wet shorts are starting to bug me.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
By the time Michelle and Kevin got back, Michelle
had been grumbling over and over for fifteen minutes about her aching leg and
soggy panties. Kevin sympathized about
the leg and laughed about the panties. He
reminded her that he was just as uncomfortable. When they entered the suite at 9:00, Brian was just strolling out
of his room, looking half-asleep.
“Hey, what happened to you two?” he asked looking
at their damp clothes.
“Went swimming!
I’m going to shower and change.” Michelle said walking towards the
bedroom.
“No way, I’m going first!” Kevin declared and ran
past her.
“Oh god!” Michelle rolled her eyes and went to sit
on the edge of the couch with Brian.
“How’s everything going, Bri?”
“Good, I just got woken up by Lauren. She keeps forgetting the time difference.”
He said rubbing his face with his hands.
“Why is she in England, if you don’t mind my
asking?”
“Her sister is getting married this weekend. That’s sort of what we fought about. She was mad I wouldn’t go with her.” He
said, “I just couldn’t make her understand how tired I am of flying all over
the place, especially since we just finished the tour. But, we talked it out yesterday, and we’re
cool.” He said smiling at her.
“That’s great.
Do you know where everyone else is?” asked Michelle, wondering where and
who her daughter went off with this time.
“Nah, I didn’t hear anyone leave. Well, I’m off to the shower too, see you
soon.” He said and went into his room.
Michelle went into her room and grabbed a cigarette
from her handbag and went back out to the balcony off the living room.
She stood on the balcony, leaning against the
railing watching the town come to life before her, thinking of how she had to
rent a car and make reservations at a hotel in Orlando for Monday. She and Kim had planned on hitting a park or
two next week and then spending the rest of the week looking for an apartment. She sighed wondering what was taking Kevin
so long in the shower, when she felt a pair of warm, muscular arms come around
her waist. She smiled and leaned back
against the warm body. "Mmm, you
feel so good," she sighed happily.
"Good morning, Beauty, how'd you sleep?"
he said softly. She wrapped her arms
around his and stroked her fingers along his smooth tanned skin.
"Excellent, and you?" she asked turning
in his arms to face him. She let out a
small gasp when she saw the gorgeous sight before her. She pushed him back gently and with a wide
smile she eyed him up and down. He wore
only a pair of small black shorts and this was the first time she'd had the
opportunity to see his beautiful body up close. "God, D, can you be any more perfect?" she murmured as
she looked up into his eyes and placed her hands on his chest.
He grinned and leaned down to give her a quick
kiss. "Believe me, I'm not
perfect," he replied with a chuckle.
"Oh, from what I'm seeing, yes you are,"
she reached up for another kiss, sliding her hands down to his sides and then
around to his back. He responded
fervently and the kiss deepened. She
parted her lips slightly and teased him with her tongue. He matched her actions and groaned as he
wrapped his arms around her pulling her closer, plunging his tongue into her
mouth. Several moments later, she
pulled back and smiled.
"So, why are you practically naked?" she
asked.
He pulled her back and nuzzled her neck, "Mmm,
you taste salty. I was working out and
then went for a quick swim. Why are you
salty and damp?"
"Kevin dragged me out at 6:00 this morning and
then threw me in the ocean," she said laughing. "I've been waiting to
take a shower, but he's been in there forever."
"Come, you can use my shower," he said
pulling her back into the suite.
They walked with their arms around each other to
his bedroom. He closed the door behind
them and nudged her towards the bathroom.
"No, I don't want to leave your arms just
yet," she said shyly.
He moaned slightly, and pulled her back up against
his chest, kissing her more passionately than before. She responded likewise and ran her hands all over his strong
back. He jumped slightly and released
an embarrassed giggle. "That was
my tickle spot," he said while kissing her neck.
"You have a tickle spot?" she laughed and
ran her fingers back over the same area.
He broke away laughing.
"Oh, you are nasty!"
"Nasty? I think not! Get back here." She reached for him and he tried to hold her
off with his hands.
"No fair, you're stronger than me," she
laughed and ducked under his arms and got him again. He laughed harder and tried tickling her.
They ended up falling on the end of his bed and
proceeded to tickle each other gently.
Michelle wound up on top of him and scooted up higher on the bed to
straddle his stomach while leaning her head against his shoulder, trying to
tickle his ribcage.
Breathlessly he said, "You know what's not
fair? You have more clothes on than me."
He pushed her up and grabbed the bottom of her top and pulled it over
her head. He gasped when he saw her
full breasts almost spilling from the strapless bra. "Wow!" he said and ran his hands over the top of her
chest.
"Mmm, Howie, you have magical hands," she
said closing her eyes and enjoying his touch.
He pulled her back down to him and captured her in another passionate
kiss. Michelle rolled to the side so
she was lying next to him on the bed, their arms wrapped around each other,
legs entangled and they continued kissing deeply until the bedroom door flung
open.
"Well, well, kids, what do we have here?"
asked AJ as he stared down at them, grinning wickedly.
"Good timing, AJ," mumbled Howie
sarcastically. Michelle pulled her head
up and looked over at AJ.
"Go away, AJ," she said sticking her
tongue out at him.
He laughed, "No way!" and sat himself on
the end of the bed, reaching out to tickle her feet.
"AJ, STOP!" she screamed laughing and
trying to kick his hands away, still holding on tightly to Howie.
Kevin showed up at the door and smirked while
raising his eyebrows. "What do we
got here?" he asked.
"God, what is this, Family Affair?"
Michelle asked while releasing Howie and getting off the bed. "How
embarrassing!" she mumbled.
All three laughed and Michelle said, "It's
your fault, Kevin, for taking forever in the shower!" She picked her shirt
up off the floor and caught AJ's leer.
"Keep your eyes in your head, AJ." She said with a laugh and
walked out of the room.
**********
When Michelle emerged from a long, hot, much-needed
shower, she found Kimberly lying across her bed reading a book.
“Hi Sweets, where have you been?” Michelle asked while stretching out on the
bed alongside Kim and giving her a kiss and hug.
“Nick and I went to the Marina. He’s rented a boat big enough for all of us
for today. He’s going to teach me to
water ski.” She looked at her mother with a huge smile.
“Really? I don’t like little boats on big oceans.”
She said with a shudder.
“Don’t be a scaredy cat, Mom. It’ll be a blast! Put your bathing suit on and let’s go. Everyone else is waiting for us.” Kim jumped off the bed and threw her book in a bag that already
contained her towel, discman and at least fifteen cds.
“You bringing enough cds?” Michelle asked while
getting up and grabbing her backpack and adding some sun block, sunglasses, cds
and her own cd player. “I hope you
aren’t bringing any rap crap.”
”Oh please, Mom.
I suppose you’re going to bring some stupid old Rolling Stones or
Monkees.” Kim said rolling her eyes.
Michelle laughed at her while pulling on her
swimsuit. She grabbed a t-shirt to go
over it. “Well, maybe I will, maybe I
won’t. Maybe I’ll bring that crappy
Backstreet Boys cd?” She teased while pulling on a new pair of tan shorts and
slipping some sandals on her feet.
“Kevin! My mom said you guys were crappy!” Kim
shouted into the living room after opening the door. Michelle lunged for her and they both fell to the floor with a
thud.
Kevin came over and helped them both up with a
grin. “You think we’re crappy?” he
asked, “In that case, we’ll have to prove you wrong.” He said with a glint in
his eye. “Ok, everybody. . . ”
“Rock you body!” shouted Nick
“Rock your body, right!” screamed Brian, wiggling
his hips.
“Oh god, help me!” Michelle cringed and walked out
of the suite, hands covering her ears.
Howie came up behind her, pulled her hands away
from her ears and whispered to her, “You are my fire, my one desire.”
Michelle moaned slightly and replied, “Oooh, keep
that up, babe, and I’ll be your biggest fan.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
They walked the block and a half to the marina in
high spirits. Brian, Nick and Kim
lagging slightly behind the others, engrossed in a low conversation. Michelle looked back at them with a
questionable expression. “Something’s
not right with that picture.” She said to AJ, who was walking with her, his arm
thrown around her shoulders. Kevin and
Howie were walking a few feet ahead talking quietly.
“Trust me, babe, they are conspiring against
us. Brian and Nick wouldn’t miss a
perfect opportunity like this to pull something. You just got to be ready for them.” AJ replied with a grin and
pulled her sunglasses off, putting them on his own face.
“Hey, I don’t want to look like a freak with purple
shades,” she said laughing. “But, I do like this hat.” She pulled his hat off
his head before he could pull away and put it on her own.
He put her pink sunglasses on and batted his
eyelashes, “How do I look, Dahling!”
“Scrumptious!”
“Scrumptious enough to eat?” he asked licking his
lips.
“Oooh, baby, pass me a fork!” she shrugged his arm
off her shoulders and grabbed his hand instead, pulling him towards Kevin and
Howie. “Do either of you have a fork?”
she asked them, giggling.
They turned and looked at the two of them laughing
their asses off. Howie smiled broadly
and grabbed her backpack from her shoulder.
Kevin shook his head and was about to turn forward again when he
shouted, “Look out!”
Before AJ and Michelle could react, they were hit
with water balloons from the back.
Michelle squealed at the coldness of the water and ran behind Howie to
hide. AJ screamed out, dropped his bag
and flew around to face the culprits.
Nick, Brian and Kimberly were armed with fresh balloons and threw them
again, mischievous grins adorning their faces.
Nick’s hit AJ in his forehead and water streamed down the shocked man’s
face. Brian’s aim caught Kevin in his
chest and Kim’s hit Howie just above his crotch.
“You are so dead, Nick!” shouted AJ while lunging
for him.
“Brian, you ass!” shouted Kevin and ran towards
him.
“Kimberly Wyman! I’ll get you!” shouted Howie and
tried to go after her, but Michelle was clutching his sides so tightly to keep
herself falling to the ground from laughing so hard. He gave up and turned towards her with a huge smile and wrapped
her up in his arms.
AJ nearly tripped over the backpacks strewn on the
ground, but finally caught Nick by the back of his shorts and tackled him to
the ground. Kimberly ran over to them
with a couple of balloons in her hands, ready to saturate AJ. While AJ sat on top of Nick he pulled her
towards him and grabbed the balloons from her hands. She screamed and tried to pull free, but he managed to get her
down on top of Nick with him. He held a
balloon over her head and squeezed it until it broke, covering her with cold
water. He released her and she took off
running. AJ then turned his attention
back to Nick who was trying to throw him off his back. AJ cackled and brought the other balloon
down on Nick’s butt, bursting it all over his ass.
Kevin grabbed Brian who didn’t even try to run
because he was laughing so hard. Kevin
reached behind Brian and grabbed the waistband of his underwear and yanked them
up really hard and fast. Brian’s
laughter turned to screeching as he pushed Kevin away. Kevin laughed so hard he fell backwards onto
the ground clutching his stomach. He
looked back up at Brian and watched him try to unpick his shorts, causing him
to laugh even harder.
Five minutes later everyone was sitting or lying on
the ground gasping for breath from laughing so much. Nick was grumbling about his wet ass. Brian was rambling on in a high falsetto voice, cracking himself
up even more. Kimberly was trying to
glare at AJ for soaking her hair, but ended up crawling over to him and shaking
her wet head in his face. He grabbed
her under her arms and tickled her ferociously. Kevin was lying on his back, clutching his sides and trying to
compose himself. Michelle and Howie
were lying on the grass along the sidewalk, wrapped in each others arms and
trying to catch their breath, in between giving each other light kisses.
“Ok, guys, we better move. People are starting to gather. We don’t need to see this scene in
tomorrow’s paper.” Nick said as he got up and rubbed his hands across his butt
to clean off the dirt. “Shit. AJ, this
isn’t over!”
Everyone got up and began picking up their bags
when the guys were suddenly surrounded by nearly twenty fans, varying in ages
from six to sixty. Michelle and
Kimberly went back to sit on the grass and watched in amazement as the guys
took it all in good stride, signed autographs and charmed and chatted with the
folks. A couple of teenagers were
eyeing them and whispering to each other.
They finally came over to Michelle and Kim and looked at them with a
combination of curiosity and jealousy.
“Who are you two?” asked a tall skinny
brunette. Her eyes were boring into
Michelle’s and Michelle felt her animosity.
“Friends of theirs,” she said nodding to the
guys. “And you are?” she asked forcing
a polite smile on her face.
“Someone who would be a lot better suited for Howie
than you! I saw you trying to get your
claws into him. He deserves someone a
lot hotter and younger than you!” she said looking at her disgustedly, hands on
her hips.
Michelle looked quickly over at Kimberly and saw
her look of shock and anger. Kevin had
heard the girls talking to Michelle and turned towards them. Before he could speak, Michelle got up,
bringing Kimberly with her. “Let’s go,
babe.” She started moving away, but
stopped and turned back to the brunette, “If you think you are so much better
for him than me, then please go right ahead and introduce yourself and ask him
out. Have a nice day!” Michelle saw
Kevin looking at her with concern and she indicated that she and Kim would meet
them at the marina. He saw and felt the
hurt in her eyes.
As Michelle and Kim started walking down the
street, the brunette stared at her and shouted, “Bitch!” Kevin saw Michelle’s shoulders flinch, but
she kept continued walking with her hand in Kimberly’s.
Kevin strode over to the girls, “Ladies, please,
that’s no way to treat someone you don’t even know.”
“Who cares about her! Can I have your autograph, Kevin?” asked the girl with a huge
smile on her face.
“Sorry, but we’re late for an appointment and have
to get going. Maybe some other time?”
he smiled politely and walked away. The
brunette stared at his back in shock, then shrugged her shoulders and walked
over to Howie. Howie had seen the
confrontation, but hadn’t heard what was said.
By Michelle and Kim’s reactions, he knew it hadn’t been pleasant. As the brunette neared him, he looked her
straight in the eyes and shook his head, then walked over to pick up his stuff
and jogged over to walk beside Kevin.
“What happened, Kev?” he asked him with concern.
“The usual, being nasty to anyone who happens to be
with us. Michelle handled it pretty
good though, but I know she’s upset."
He grabbed Howie’s bag and said, “Go talk to her.”
Howie nodded and took off. Brian, Nick and AJ caught up to Kevin and
they continued to the marina. When
Howie reached Michelle, he heard her talking softly to Kim.
“Kim, please don’t be upset. We can’t take that sort of thing
personally. Those girls were just being
jealous because we happened to be with some very famous people. I keep forgetting how famous and sought
after they are. If you want to be their
friend, you’ll need to learn to live with crap like that, ok?” Michelle squeezed Kim’s hand. She was really thrown by the girl’s
reaction, but for Kim’s sake shrugged it off.
Howie came closer and put his arms around both of
them. “Sorry about that, girls.”
“Don’t be sorry, Howie. I found it fascinating having all those people recognize you guys
and swoon over you,” she replied smiling at him. “Wasn’t it neat, Kim?”
Kim nodded, “I don’t like the way that girl was
being so mean to you, Mom. You didn’t
do anything to her!”
“Kim, some fans just get a little too jealous, but
trust me, most of them aren’t like that.
They’re really great and treat us so well,” Howie leaned down and kissed
her cheek. “Let’s go boating!”
After everyone was aboard, Nick put the boat in
gear and eased it smoothly over the ocean.
Kim sat at the end of the boat with Brian and AJ, absolutely loving the
ride and yelling for Nick to go faster and faster. Michelle, on the other hand, was sitting on the bottom of the
boat right behind Nick’s captain seat and clutching tightly to Howie’s leg as
he sat on a side seat. She hated the
ride and was petrified someone would fall overboard. Everyone was laughing and teasing her, but she just groaned and
kept her head on her knees. Finally
Nick slowed the boat after half an hour, announcing that this looked like a
great place to swim and snorkel. He had
selected a small cove area near Torch Key.
Michelle finally got up and stretched her
legs. She didn’t mind being in the boat
when it was so close to land. She sat
on the bench seat next to Howie as he was removing his sneakers.
“So, you think I’m a big baby?” she asked with a
smile. He chuckled and pulled her
sandals off her feet for her.
“Depends. You coming in the water with me?” he
asked pulling his white tank top off to reveal his tanned torso.
“I really don’t want to, but, how can I resist
you?” she laughed and removed her t-shirt and shorts. Howie let out a low whistle and winked at her. She was wearing a black strapless one-piece
with tiny gold stars and moons on it.
“Yummy!” he said as he reached for her.
She backed away from him shaking her head.
“Nope, not when the children are around, dear.” She
backed up again and fell onto Kevin’s lap.
“Oops, sorry about that, Kev,” she said starting to
get up, but he scooped her up in his arms and turned to Kim and Nick. “Who wants me to throw her in?” he asked
with a devilish grin.
“Yeah! Throw her overboard!” Nick yelled as he
jumped in the water.
“Wet that woman!” urged AJ as he picked up Kimberly
quickly and threw her in the water near Nick.
She resurfaced coughing and screaming at him and Nick grabbed her to
keep her afloat.
“KEVIN! Put me down now! No way are you throwing me in the ocean twice in one day,” she
screeched while struggling to get down.
“Howie, please, save me!” she looked at him imploringly. He was laughing at them and shook his head
as he climbed up onto the seat and neatly dove into the water. “Brian!
Save me!” she asked seeing him at the end of the boat.
“Are you kidding?
There is no way I will suffer the wrath of Kevin Richardson any further
today.” He replied and jumped in the water pulling AJ as he went.
“Ok, babe, just you and me left. Now, what shall I do?” asked Kevin as he
walked to the end of the boat.
“If you throw me in, I swear I’ll make you pay!”
she said trying to sound evil. He
laughed and jumped into the water with her in his arms. When she surfaced, she said, “You are all
evil and you will suffer!”
CHAPTER TWENTY
ONE
Michelle swam over to Howie and wrapped her arms
around his neck. “Sweet D, I can’t
believe you didn’t help me.” She looked
up at him while batting her eyelashes.
He laughed and wrapped an arm around her waist while nuzzling her
neck. She returned his playful kisses
and moved one hand tantalizingly down along his chest and abdomen. He moaned at her touch and let his hands
roam across her back and buttocks. She
snuggled closer to him and starting lightly kissing his neck and
shoulders. She looked up at him
playfully when she started lowering her kisses to his upper chest, then she
held onto his sides and slipped under the water kissing and licking his chest
and down to his belly. She knew she
surprised him and laughed inwardly.
Within seconds she brought her hands to the waistband of his shorts and
swiftly yanked them down to his ankles, catching a quick glimpse of his prized
package as she pushed herself away.
She resurfaced several feet away laughing
uncontrollably as she watched him struggle to pull his shorts back up. She ducked back under the water and swam
over to the end of the boat to hide and resurface for some air. She spotted Kevin several feet to the right
swatting a beach ball back and forth with Brian. She silently slipped beneath the water and swam quickly towards
him. As she neared him, she stretched
out her arms and swiftly pulled his shorts down as well. She could hear his yell from beneath the
water. She was laughing to herself so
hard she accidentally opened her mouth and swallowed some water. She came back up coughing and sputtering.
Suddenly two sets of hands were grabbing at
her. She turned her head and screamed
as both Kevin and Howie were clawing at her, attempting to yank her suit
down. She kicked out at both of them
and swam quickly around the boat to the other side. She waded there, catching her breath, when Kevin suddenly
surfaced in front of her and Howie behind her.
She started to scream again as both grabbed the top of her suit and
yanked it down. She was laughing so
hard while trying to get her suit back up and smacking their hands away. Kevin laughed and swam back around the boat,
gloating in his achievement. Howie was
laughing like crazy as he swam around her and pulled her tight against him,
preventing her from getting her suit all the way back on.
He leaned his face towards hers and captured her
lips in a salty wet kiss. She grabbed
onto a handle on the side of the boat to help keep afloat and fleetingly
thought how glad she was that Kim and the others were all playing in the water
on the other side and couldn't see them.
She wrapped her other arm around Howie's shoulders and her legs around
his waist.
"Mmm, are we even now?" asked Howie
breaking away from her lips. His
beautiful brown eyes were sparkling as brightly as the sun reflecting off the
crystal blue water. She gazed lovingly
into his eyes as her fingers gently stroked the side of his neck. Instead of answering him verbally, she
lowered her gaze to his full pink lips and leaned in to kiss him again. She tightened her legs around him as the
kiss deepened and their tongues entwined.
His hands slid upwards from her waist to her ribs and around to her
stomach. She broke the kiss and moved
her lips over his jaw and then to his ear and started nibbling on it. He lowered his head to her neck and sucked
on it softly, moving across her shoulder slowly.
"God, Howie, it feels so good to be in your
arms," she said while licking and sucking on his neck. He brought his hands up to her bare breasts
and cupped them. He ran his thumbs back
and forth from her breastbone to her hardened nipples. He pulled back slightly and lowered his head
to her left nipple, sucking gently and twirling his tongue around it in a
circle. Her leg hold on his waist
prevented him from slipping away and she could feel his hardened cock pressing
against her butt. His hands moved down
and around to her ass while he gyrated his hips slowly sending chills through
her body.
"Michelle, I want you so bad," he said
while making his way back up to her lips.
She responded by pushing her pelvis against him and moaning into his
mouth.
"I want you. . . " She whispered,
loosening her hold on him slightly and bringing her hand down between them to
massage his cock. He groaned and
brought one of his hands to her crotch and rubbed his fingers back and forth. She slipped her hand into his shorts and
pulled up on his cock while using her heals to push his shorts down to his
thighs. He untangled her legs from
around him and pulled her swimsuit off completely, passing it up to her to
hold. He drew her legs back up around
his hips and then reached for the boat handle to support himself as he
encircled her waist and entered her slowly.
She groaned loudly and found his mouth again. As they passionately kissed, he pumped in and out of her in a
steady rhythm. She clutched his shoulder more tightly and
moaned seductively into his ear, whispering words of passion and lust. She used her legs around his waist to assist
him in increasing his speed. She felt
her muscles tightening and reached for his lips again as she exploded. He moaned deeply in response and pushed into
her faster and harder, finally emptying his desires into her.
They clung to each other afterwards, alternately
kissing and talking softly.
"Oh God, D, you are so amazing." She said
while stroking his ponytail.
"Aaaaah, Michelle, that's certainly not how I
pictured our first time together." He grinned and kissed her again.
"Oh yeah? And what did you have in mind?"
she said softly.
"I think I'll just keep you guessing for
now," his kissed her again and then released himself from her hold to pull
up his shorts. He reached up and pulled
her suit from her hand holding the boat handle and skillfully put it back on
her.
"Now, I won't be able to think of anything
else," she smiled broadly at him and gave him one more kiss before leading
him to the end of the boat.
They both climbed aboard and turned their heads in
the direction of the other's voices.
"Hmm, they didn't seem to miss us." She smiled as she handed
Howie a towel.
"Lucky for us," he took the towel and
wrapped it around both of them, holding her close and nibbling on her ear.
"HOWIE!" he turned his head and saw Kim
wildly waving her arms. "You have to come and play chicken with us! You and me against Brian and
Kevin."
He smiled over at her and nodded his head, but
groaned lowly and whispered, "I don't want to play with anyone but
you."
She giggled as his tongue stroked her neck. "You are insatiable."
He grinned, kissed her quickly and jumped back into
the water. Michelle watched him swim
quickly over to Kim and disappear under the water. When he came up he had Kimberly straddling his shoulders. She was whooping with joy and proceeded to
tackle with Brian, who was on Kevin's shoulders just as quickly. Michelle chuckled and grabbed her backpack
and made her way to the front of the boat.
She climbed up and stretched out her towel before sitting down on
it. She pulled her discman from her bag
and selected Bob Marley, recalling how much she loved his music and always
pictured a hot paradise while listening to it.
Now she was in it.
She watched the chicken game for a while and then
turned her attention to Nick who was snorkeling along some rocks. She smiled when she saw the purple streaks
glistening in his hair. She reached
back into her bag and pulled out a cigarette.
After lighting it, she laid back, closed her eyes and enjoyed the smoke
and "Is This Love".
Within moments her peace was disturbed when she
felt cold water falling onto her. She
turned her head and opened her eyes to see AJ standing over her. "Hey, what are you listening to?"
he asked, reaching down and removing the headphones from her. He held them up to his ears and smiled. "This is too good to keep to
yourself." He threw the headphones
back to her and ran to the back of the boat.
He pulled a larger cd player from inside a bench and brought it forwards. He removed the cd from her player and put it
into his and cranked up the volume. "No Woman No Cry" blared out and he stood up and started
slowly gyrating his body to the beat, mouthing the words.
Michelle laughed up at him and sat up. AJ reached down and grabbed her
cigarette. "Hey!" she said
and jumped up to grab it back. He pulled
her into his arms and swayed to the music with her. She laughed and put her hand around his shoulders while stealing
the cigarette from him and putting it to her lips, inhaling deeply. He grabbed it back and took another drag
before flinging it into the sea. He put
both hands on her waist and started a slow dirty dance with her. She laughed and followed along.
"And you said you didn't dance." He
grinned wickedly.
"Must be the sea air intoxicating
me." They danced until the song
ended, breaking apart laughing.
He leaned down and switched the track to "One
Love/People Get Ready" and proceeded to dance around the whole boat. Michelle laughed and marveled at his ease in
moving his lithe body. Nick climbed up
the back of the boat, grinned widely and copied AJ. Michelle sat back down and watched them with fascination. Within moments everyone else had climbed
aboard and started a dancing frenzy, singing in high voices along with the
opening of "I Shot The Sheriff".
Kevin danced his way over to Michelle and offered
her his hand. She shook her head
smiling. He shrugged and went to sit
next to her, shaking his wet hair at her and laughing. "Damn, I'm beat!" he said.
"Well, maybe if someone wasn't up with the
birds this morning, then that someone wouldn't be so tired," she
teased.
He laughed and put his arm around her shoulders,
"Someone seems to be smiling a lot more," he grinned at her.
She laughed in response and swatted his leg. Her gaze drew over to Howie as he was sexily
moving his body to the music. He
grabbed Kimberly's hand and twirled her slowly a couple of times. Michelle laughed out loud, thinking this day
had been so perfect. "God, Kevin,
can life get any better than this?" she asked looking back at him.
His eyes twinkled as he smiled at her, "We'll
just have to keep making sure it stays that way." He replied as he leaned
down and kissed her cheek.
"Oh yeah? 'cause You Want It That Way?"
she asked laughing. He groaned at her
lame joke and pulled her up and back down into the boat. Everyone was collapsing on the seats and
benches, exhausted from their fun.
Michelle went over to Kimberly and hugged her, whispering that she loved
her dancing. Kim blushed slightly and
hugged her back. Nick opened a cooler
and handed everyone cold drinks. They
spent the next half hour lounging in the sun and laughing and talking.
Finally, Kimberly begged Nick enough to get going
and teach her to water ski. Everyone
packed up their belongings and AJ drove the boat away from the cove while Nick
gave Kim some important pointers on water skiing. He decided to show her how it was done first and he slipped into
the water and performed perfectly.
Howie and Kevin each took turns afterwards and both did equally as
well. When it was finally Kimberly’s
turn, Michelle was a nervous wreck and went to sit beside AJ, refusing to look
backwards for fear her daughter would get seriously injured. She felt foolish for her reactions, but she
never could stand watching her daughter in potential danger. After three attempts, Kim finally got up on
the skis and lasted for about thirty seconds before plunging into the
water. The guys all cheered her on and
she swam back to the boat smiling and tired.
They decided to head back to Key West after a fun-filled and exhausting
outing.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-TWO
When they returned to their suite, everyone headed
off to their respective rooms to shower and change. Kimberly went with Michelle and Kevin and used their
bathroom. While she was in there,
Michelle flopped onto her bed, groaning how tired she was. Kevin laughed and teased her about the
varied events of the day. Finally, he
got serious and stretched out next to her on her bed.
“So, you and Howie?” he asked with raised eyebrows.
Michelle turned her head towards him smiling and
asked, “Me and Howie, what?”
He tickled her stomach affectionately and replied,
“You did it, huh? I want dirty details.”
“Kevin! You sure are nosy. But, what makes you think that anyway?” she asked
trying to remain nonchalant.
“Well, aside from the fact that you’ve had a huge
smile on your face all damn day, you two couldn’t take your eyes off each
other, nor keep your hands to yourself.” He was starting to make her squirm.
“I’d rather not talk about it,” she said and turned
over so that her back was to him.
“What’s up? I’m happy for you. Why are you reacting like this?” He leaned
over her to peer into her eyes.
“Kevin, I’ve slept with two men in the last three
days. While both were incredibly
enjoyable, I do feel somewhat dirty about it,” she said slowly avoiding his
eyes.
He sat up and looked out towards the window. “I’m
sorry about that, it’s my fault.”
“No, it isn’t, it’s mine and it’s my conscience
that is suffering.” So much for the big smile on my face, she thought.
“Cut it out, Michelle. Just let it go. You can’t
do this to yourself. Neither Howie nor
I think badly of what’s happened between us and you. You and I weren’t planned, it was just one of those things. If it bothered Howie, he would have said so
or he wouldn’t have begun a relationship with you. You and I have already talked about us and I thought we were okay
with it.” He had a disturbed look on
his face.
“Kevin, you don’t understand.” She said turning back
to him. “I know what you and I talked about and I know what we said about
staying just friends, but there were times when I looked at you today, I
thought about us making love and how good it feels to be in your arms, and I
like those thoughts. And then every
time I look at Howie, I want him just as much and my heart beats faster
thinking of being in his arms too.” She
sighed heavily and closed her eyes, “This is just too confusing.”
Kevin laid aside her remaining quiet. He couldn’t believe she just vocalized the
same feelings he’d had throughout the day, about her. He felt just as badly as she did, he realized. Here he was in love with Telly, but
entranced with Michelle. He didn't want
to lose her, he wanted her to be in his life, even if it meant living with
guilt.
"Michelle," he said turning back onto his
side and turning her head to look at him.
Before continuing he leaned over and kissed her lips lightly. "I'm in love with Telly and you are in
love with Howie. And that is good. They are both very special people and they
deserve the best we can give them.
Neither one of us knows yet how much we can give them, but for now that
is our best. Howie really does
deserve you. He is kind, caring, loyal
and perfect for you in every way. You
two both come to life a little more when you are around each other. Telly is also incredibly good to me and for
me. She's sweet, supportive, trusting
and makes me feel so loved." He gently brushed away the tears that were
silently sliding down her cheek.
"But then there is you and me.
We have a strong need for each other, not just sexually, but
emotionally. We are alike, inside, in
so many ways. We've shared the same
fears, have felt our lives slipping away from us and now we both live with more
than our share of guilt, inner turmoil and the need to regain control and make
everything right again. We cannot let
go of each other now. We've only just
found each other and if we happen to be sexually attracted to each other too,
then I say we just consider that another blessing and not another failure. All of our feelings and emotions are so new
and fresh. We need time, lots of time,
to sort out our true feelings and we need to do it together. We need to keep an open line of
communication. We need to be able to
trust each other enough to just say or do what we are feeling. If you and I end up making love again, we
can't let ourselves believe that we are really betraying them or ourselves. Totally unconventional way of thinking, I
know, but we need each other… Any time
you need me, I promise with my whole heart and soul that I will be there. Do you understand?"
Kimberly had emerged from the bathroom in time to
hear Kevin's promise. She stood frozen
by the bathroom door clutching her wet towel and swimsuit.
Michelle wrapped her arms around his neck and
pulled him towards her, hugging him fiercely.
"Kevin, how do you always know what to say?" she asked quietly
against his ear. God, she did need
him! She loved him more than she
thought she was capable of loving. It
was a totally different love than what she felt for Kimberly, or Howie, or
Patti. This was a new kind of love for
her and she was overwhelmed with the magnitude of it. "And I promise with my whole heart and soul that I will be
there for you too, any time, any place.
You ever need me and I'll come running, I swear!" she said
passionately and sobbed in his arms more so than she'd done in years, releasing
all her anger, shame, guilt. She felt
his shoulders shaking as he cried against her too. He was so right. They
needed to help each other and no one else on this earth could take each other's
place.
Upon hearing her mother's anguish, Kimberly sank to
the floor and placed her head on her knees and cried along with them, her sobs
gone unheard for several moments.
Michelle suddenly jumped up and climbed over Kevin,
startling him. She cried out when she
saw her little girl and dropped to her knees before her, pulling her against
her and hugging her with all her might.
"Oh baby, oh god, I'm so sorry. I love you so much. I'm so sorry." She kept saying those words over and over
and over. Kevin flew off the bed and
pulled them both up, into his arms. He
backed them up towards the bed and sat down, pulling Kimberly onto his lap,
holding her against him tightly and rocking her back and forth. He pulled Michelle against him with his
right arm and she clasped Kimberly's hand.
"Please don't cry, sweetie, please. We're going to be okay now. We're going to be okay." She leaned her head down onto Kimberly's
hand and silently begged her for forgiveness, while she continued to cry until
she felt Kimberly start to calm down.
She looked up into her blue eyes and saw hope.
"Kevin," Kimberly said softly looking up
at him, "do you mean it? Do you really promise to help my mom?"
Kevin softened his hold on her and pushed her back
slightly to look her straight in the eyes, "I absolutely promise, and not
just your mom, but you too. If you ever
need a friend, a big brother, an uncle or anything, you can come to me,
too! Ok?"
She nodded her head and smiled slightly before
turning to her mother. "Mommy, I'm
sorry. I promise to be a better kid
and. . . "
"NO! Don't ever say that! You have been the best daughter a mother
could have ever asked for. You are not
to blame for anything! Do you understand?
None of this is your fault! You saved me, Kimmie! I love you so much, baby and you saved
me! I let myself get into this mess and
I promise you, until the day I die - old and gray, that I will be here for
you! I love you and you are the one
that saved me!" Michelle swore as she pulled her daughter to her. "Don't even think you ever did anything
to make me try to kill myself. It was
never you. Never you!"
Kimberly clung to her mother while Kevin stroked
her back softly. "Kim," he
said softly, "I tried to kill myself a long time ago, too." Kimberly
looked at him shocked. "Your mom
is not the only one who has ever gotten so sad like that. She and I know what each other felt when we
wanted to die. We are going to help each other deal with things. And if you let me, I want to help you to,
help you have a new and happy life in Florida.
Heck, I can even introduce you to those N'Sync guys, if you want."
He ended rolling his eyes.
Both Michelle and Kimberly laughed a little at
him. He hugged them both and gently
pushed the young girl off his lap and stood up. "Now, I'm going to shower, that's if you left me any hot
water." He ruffled her hair and
went into the bathroom.
"He's really nice." Kim said staring
after him.
"Yes, he is.
He's a good friend and now you've got Nick and the others as good
friends too. We are going to have a
happy life from now on. No more misery,
if I can help it. And we are going to
find Auntie Patti in Orlando and tell her we love her and get her back into our
life too. Ok?" Michelle looked
deeply into her child's eyes, "Are you okay, sweetie?"
Kim nodded her head and stood up, bending back down
to give her mother one more hug, "I love you, Mom. Thank you for coming
back for me." She smiled and
kissed her cheek, then she picked up her towel and swimsuit and walked out of
the room.
Michelle sat for a few moments, feeling drained,
yet renewed. She got up slowly, dried
her eyes and walked into the living room.
She could hear Nick and Brian arguing in their room and Kimberly
laughing at them. She smiled slightly
and walked towards Howie's closed door.
She tapped lightly leaning against the doorframe.
AJ pulled the door open quickly, surprising
her. He laughed quickly and then
stopped when he saw her faint smile. He
pulled her into the room and hugged her tightly. "You okay?" he asked with his voice filled with
concern. He noticed her puffy red eyes.
"Yeah, sexy, I'm okay. I need to see Howie," she said softly
while hugging him back. He nodded his
head and walked her over to the bathroom.
"Hey D! Open up."
Howie opened the door and was surprised to see AJ
pushing Michelle towards him, "Someone needs to see ya." AJ said softly as he turned and grabbed his
sunglasses and hat off his bed and left the room.
Howie looked at Michelle as she closed the space
between them and wrapped her arms around his waist. His arms automatically enveloped her and he gently kissed her
head.
"I just want to tell you that I love
you," she said pulling back to look into his eyes, "You don't have to
love me back the same way, but I need you to know how I feel."
He pulled her back against him and hugged her
tightly. "I do love you too."
"Will you come out with me tonight, just the
two of us?" she asked against his chest.
"Definitely!
I have to go out now and take care of a few things. I'll find a nice restaurant and make us
reservations, ok?" He bent down and
kissed her again.
"Great!
I have to lie down for a while, but I'll be ready when you are."
She said smiling at him.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-THREE
They walked arm in arm out to the living room, as
AJ was walking out of the kitchenette with a bottled water.
"D! You ready, man?" he asked
exasperated. "Bri and Nick have already left. Kevin, who knows? And Kimberly is still doing her hair!
Women!"
Michelle laughed at his expression and walked
towards Kim's room, as she came running out.
"I'm ready!" Kevin
came out of his room at the same time, "Me too."
"Where are y'all going?" Michelle asked.
"Y'all!
Oh, man, she's been hanging around the Southerners too long!"
laughed AJ. "We're going shopping,
of course!"
"Shopping? Figures." Said Michelle turning
to Kim, "Do you have any money left?”
Kim grinned and shook her head. Michelle laughed and pulled her towards her
own room.
"We've got money and. . . " said Kevin.
"Nope!" Michelle interrupted and led Kim
into her room. She pulled a couple of
twenties from her bag and handed it to her.
"Wow, thanks Mom!" Kim kissed her cheek
and flew out of the room.
Michelle chuckled as she closed her bag and stood
up, noticing Kevin staring at her.
"What?"
"Michelle, we can get her anything she needs,"
he said sincerely, leaning against the door.
"Oh, Kevin, thank you," she said walking
over to him and putting her hand on his arm, "but, first off, she doesn't
actually NEED anything. And secondly,
I've got some money. I sold our house
last summer and had a little savings and, then, there was Rob's insurance
money. We're okay. Do I look like someone who's concerned about
not having worked in the last six months?" she asked grinning at him.
"Well, I just want to make sure you're both
okay," He replied quietly.
"We are.
I plan on getting a job once we get settled in Orlando and a small house
and a new car. I've got enough. Don't
worry" she said and hugged him quickly.
"Okay, but if you ever need anything, please
tell me."
"Thank you, babe, but you've already given me
so much. You don't realize how much I
appreciate everything these last few days.
Now, go! And don't let my wild
daughter blow all her money in the first store." She said laughing and
pushing him out the door.
"Well, at least let me change your
bandages. I don't know why you can't
keep your hands out of water." He said laughing.
She pinched his butt and laughed back, "Later,
I have to shower anyway." She
gave everyone a hug good bye and went back into her room. She climbed between the cool sheets of her
bed and snuggled her pillow.
An hour later she awoke feeling less tired. She climbed out of bed and took another
shower. She pulled the soggy bandages
off her right hand. She flexed her
wrist and was glad it didn't hurt as much anymore. Her pinkie was still swollen and wouldn't bend. The back of her hand was bruised, but no
longer throbbing. She called Carey's
room and asked him if he had a smaller splint and could he rewrap it. He agreed and was at her door within fifteen
minutes.
"Hi, Carey, thank you so much for coming right
down. I hope I didn't interrupt
anything." Michelle said as she led him to the kitchenette.
"Nope, Karolyn and I were just relaxing,
planning our evening. How does it
feel?" He asked indicating to her hand.
"Much better, I can't seem to keep it out of
water though." She laughed and told him about her two dunks in the ocean
that day. He noticed the huge smile on
her face as she spoke.
"I'm glad to see you are doing so much
better. What about your ribs and hip,
they okay?" he asked as he splinted and wrapped her hand in much smaller
bandages.
"They're better too, still pretty ugly to look
at, but much better. I think the
company I've kept has been great medicine." She said still smiling.
They chatted for ten more minutes and then he left,
promising to join them for lunch tomorrow.
Michelle returned to her room and pulled her laptop
from the closet. She placed it on
Kevin's neatly made bed and laid down on her stomach as she turned it on. Half hour later she was just finishing
reserving a Jeep Cherokee from an Orlando dealer, as Howie and Kevin came in.
"Hey, guys, how was your shopping trip?"
she asked sitting up and brushing the hair from her face.
Howie sat next to her and pulled her in for a hug
and a kiss. "Excellent! How are you?"
"Great!
I just bought a Jeep. Aren't
computers awesome?" she asked with a grin. Kevin came over to the other side of the bed and looked at the
screen.
"Black.
Why a black jeep?" he asked scrolling down the page.
"It's my favorite color and I've always wanted
a Jeep. I can pick it up Wednesday, but
I'll need to rent something in the meantime." She replied kissing Howie
again lightly. "You smell
nice."
He chuckled and said, "Your daughter insisted
I try some new cologne. Hey, your hand
looks better." Howie said holding her hand and inspecting it.
"It is - Carey came down. I asked them to meet us tomorrow for lunch,
ok?"
"You don't have to rent anything," said
Kevin looking over at them and smirking, "I have a car at home I rarely
use and you can use it as long as you need."
"Oh, Kevin, I can't," she replied looking
at him adoringly.
"Michelle, don't start or I'll. . . Just let
me loan you my car, ok?" he said slowly changing his tone from harshness
to tenderness. Michelle searched his
face, seeing the frustration. She moved
her hand over to his chin and stroked his goatee with her thumb.
"Ok, thank you, babe." She said quietly.
"Good, that's settled," Howie said,
getting off the bed and holding his hand out to her. "You need to get ready, Beauty. We have reservations in an hour."
"Wait! I just have to make a quick reservation
at one of the Disney Hotels for Monday.
What is the name of the one with the luau's?" she asked looking
from one to the other. When she looked
over at Kevin, she saw his angry face, "What's the matter now, Kev?"
Kevin snapped her laptop shut and pulled it
forcefully into his hands and placed it on the table by the window. "You are not staying at some
hotel! You, and Kimberly, are coming
home with me!"
He loomed over her causing her to shrink back just
a little.
"What? Kevin, you have a girlfriend, whom you
said you couldn't wait to see on Monday!
I am not going to invade her territory," she replied getting off
the bed near Howie, and glaring at Kevin.
She strode around the bed and stood defiantly before him with her hands
on her hips looking up at him.
"Her territory? It is not her territory, nor am I! It's my house, and Brian's, and you are coming home with
me!" he leaned towards her and placed his hands on her upper arms.
Howie sat down on the edge of the bed and watched
them with amusement. "Sweetie, you
don't want to see Kevin get any angrier, it's not a pretty sight."
Michelle turned her head to look at him, seeing his
bemused smile. "What? You agree
with him?" He nodded and smiled.
"Stop it, both of you," she turned back to Kevin and put her
hand on his cheek, "Please, Kevin, listen to reason. What if she suddenly took in some guy she'd
just met a few days before, wouldn't that piss you off?"
"NO! I trust her, as she does me. I've already told her about you and
Kim. I called her earlier and explained
what's been going on. She’s looking
forward to meeting you," he said, watching her eyes grow larger.
"You told her everything?" she asked
softly.
"No, not everything," he said looking
over at Howie. Howie just stared back
with no animosity. "I'm not going
to tell her about the other night. I've
decided that's between the three of us and I'm not going to hurt her with that
knowledge."
She backed up and sat on the end of the bed. "Oh Kevin," she said slowly,
looking down at her feet.
“Michelle, don’t worry about it. I agree with Kevin, why jeopardize his
relationship with Telly? We all know you and Kevin share a bond and Telly will
eventually see that too, but for now, telling her everything is not necessary.”
Howie said as he crawled over to her, putting his arms around her shoulders and
kissing her ear.
“Howie, what do you really feel knowing Kevin and I
slept together?” Michelle asked him, taking a deep breath and not believing she
had the nerve to finally ask. She
looked over at Kevin as he sat down next to her, putting his hand on her leg
for support.
Howie didn’t respond right away. Michelle turned to him and tried looking
into his eyes, but he had them cast downwards, trying to formulate this
thoughts. “Howie?”
He took in a deep breath and them looked up at both
of them, “Michelle, I love you, I really really do. And I love Kevin. I’m not
going to stand in the way of you two and your relationship. I actually support it, you both need each
other to deal with the past.”
“You aren’t answering my question,” she said
softly.
“Something tells me I can’t have you one hundred
percent right now and I’m accepting that.
If I have to share you with Kevin, I will.” He said looking at her directly.
The shock on her face was almost laughable.
“Holy Christ, D, do you realize what you just
said?” Kevin asked.
“Absolutely!
I know what I want and I know what we’re getting into. If Michelle needs you, Kevin, or if you need
her, then you should have each other,” he replied evenly, looking back down at
Michelle. “Michelle, I love you and as
I said the other day, something about you has me captured. I want to know everything about you. I want to spend the rest of my life with
you. I want you, period. As long as I know that you love me and want
me, I’ll support anything you may do, with Kevin.”
Michelle closed her eyes to prevent the tears from
falling. Her eyelashes glistened. She sucked in her breath slowly, not
believing this wonderful, beautiful man was telling her he wanted her, forever,
and, holy christ, giving his permission for her to sleep with one of this best
friends. She finally opened her eyes
and turned her body to him fully. She
wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him forcefully and fully on the
mouth.
“Howie Dorough, I love you so much. I can’t believe you are real! What did I ever do to deserve you? Why me? I
don’t deserve this, I really don’t.” she asked trying to absorb
everything.
“You do deserve everything good in life and we are
going to make sure you have it from now on,” said Kevin as he caressed her hair
hanging down her back.
“He’s right.
Now, no more questions. You’ll
stay with Kevin and Brian for a few days, then we’ll take you to Disney and
stay at that hotel with the luau’s if that’s what you want. And next weekend, I’ll help you find a house
or an apartment, and we’ll all start to live our lives happily ever after. Got it?” Howie said with avowed authority.
Michelle choked back her sobs and kissed him again. He pulled away and got up. “Now, get your ass dressed or we’ll be
late!” He walked towards the door and blew her a kiss. She smiled after him and blew one back.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-FOUR
She and Kevin sat there, in shock, silently for
several minutes, not looking at each other.
“I have to get dressed.” She said and walked over
to the closet.
“Hey,” he said following her slowly, “Let’s not
dwell on this. Just because he said
what he said, doesn’t mean we are going to jump in bed and fuck each other
silly just for the hell of it and I think you know that.”
She turned and looked at him, “I know.” She said
quietly.
“Ok, I’ve got to go, AJ and I are going out for a
few drinks. Brian and Nick are keeping
Kim and taking her for pizza, so don’t worry about her, ok?” he said hugging
her from the back.
“Thanks, Kev and thanks for wanting me to stay with
you. I still don’t feel good about it,
but I’m not going to argue with you anymore.
I appreciate your offer.” She said turning and hugging him back.
“I know you do.
I love you, you know? We’re all
going to be fine. We’ll work everything
out, I promise, ok?” he bent down and kissed her cheek.
“Ok. Go,
have fun!” she said pushing him away, “I love you too.”
After Kevin left, Michelle sighed deeply and turned
her attention back to the closet. She
pulled a black linen suit from the hangar and warily eyed a silver halter she’d
bought in Miami last week. She’d never
worn anything like it before. She never
had the figure to wear something so revealing, but after losing thirty pounds
in the last year and a half, she had decided to buy it after the saleswoman
insisted she looked great in it. She
went over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of black panties and headed to
the bathroom.
When she was dressed in the slacks and halter, she
eyed herself in the mirror critically.
Her long hair fell a few inches above her waist, hiding most of the
nakedness of her back. The wide strings
of the halter fell an inch or two below her hair. She felt nice, but was nervous, thankful the short jacket would
hide the bareness. She moved back out
into the bedroom and stood before the large mirror over the dresser, deciding
how to do up her hair. As she clumsily
held the brush in her right hand, the door opened. AJ stood there with his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open.
“Holy Shit!
You look awesome!” his eyes raked her from head to toe. He slowly walked over to her and noticed the
bare back. He gently lifted her hair
and whistled softly.
“AJ, please, you're embarrassing me!” A warm blush
creeping over her cheeks.
“My god, Howie is one lucky mother fucker!” he said
watching her in the mirror. “Need help
with that?” he asked indicating the brush.
She shrugged her shoulders and smiled back at
him. “I told you, you were good for my
ego!” she replied handing him the brush.
“Now, what shall we do with this mop?” he asked,
holding her hair in his hands, sighing and rolling his eyes.
“AJ,” she said laughing, “You are a riot! I thought
I’d just clip up the sides.” She handed him two hair clips.
“You trust me to do this right?” he asked
surprised.
“Of course, silly.
Now hurry up before I’m late.” She watched as he gently brushed her hair
back into place. “I thought you were
going out with Kevin?”
“I am, I’m just late as usual. He’s hanging with Howie in my room anyway,”
Michelle looked up quickly at that. AJ
caught her look. “What’s that for?”
“Nothing, it’s complicated. You do a good job, maybe when your voice is
old and weak, you should consider opening a salon,” she teased.
“Yeah, okay, and you can be my shampoo girl, but
I’ll be the only one allowed to do the dye jobs, got it?” He put the brush down
and surveyed his work, “Excellent, if I may say so!”
“Thank you, sexy!” she said, turning and picking up
her jacket and sliding it on. As she
reached past him for her small handbag, she caught his look. “What now?”
“You totally don’t need that jacket. Take it off and be proud of what you’ve
got!”
“No way, I’ve never worn anything like this before
and I’m extremely self-conscience.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why haven’t you worn anything like that before and
why are you self-conscience?”
“Oh, AJ, please, where was I going to wear
something as beautiful as this before.
To the local barroom with Rob?
To my boring little office? By
the time I quit there, I’d been wearing jeans and sweatshirts almost
daily. And, besides, I haven’t been
this size just before I got pregnant for Kim. After giving birth to her, I
never lost the weight until recently.
One of the benefits of being depressed.” She said looking back at him,
catching his concerned expression, “AJ, I was kidding about that one, there is
no benefit to being depressed. I’m sorry.”
“Oh, Michelle, will you ever cease to amaze me?”
“Uhh, let’s hope not, eh? I’ve got to go. Thanks for your compliments and your help.”
She said, reaching up to kiss his cheek.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-FIVE
An hour
later, Michelle and Howie were seated adjacent to each other in a small,
beautifully decorated restaurant. They
had a corner table and were grateful for the privacy. They each had a glass of white wine and a trio of white candles
burned slowly near them, casting flickering reflections on their glasses.
“D, this is so beautiful, thank you.” She said softly looking at him. The candlelight cast a warm glow on his
face, making him look more angelic than ever.
"I can't believe I'm sitting here with you, loving you, and feeling
the happiest I've ever felt in my whole life.
I keep expecting to wake up and find that this has all been a
dream."
He smiled and leaned closer to her, taking her hand
in his, "Michelle, I love you, I've never felt this strongly about anyone,
ever." He brushed his lips lightly
across hers, "I want it to last forever."
"Oh Howie, what if next week or next month,
when all the newness has gone and you're back into your regular crazy life. . .
what if you wake up one morning and wonder what the hell you've been doing or
thinking about me? I'm afraid. . .
" The fear on her face made him clench her hand tighter.
"Please, babe, don't even think like
that. I know what my heart wants. I'm
27 years old, I've been in love before and I know this is real. In another month, I'll wake up one morning
and wonder how is it possible to love someone more and more each day. And when we're separated because of my
schedule, I'll suffer greatly when you're not by my side. Please don't
worry."
"Babe, I can't help but worry. So much has happened so fast. I was married at 18 and had to learn to be a
wife and mother so fast. For the last
ten years, I've lived such a completely different life than you. I've been sheltered in a small town, going
about my daily life, never expecting anything to change. Within the last three years my life had
completely fallen apart. Within the
last three months, I've finally started picking up the pieces and putting them
back in different, better places and coming alive again. I've never felt so much love and care as I
have from you guys lately. It's scary
and I keep expecting it all to come crashing down." Howie pulled his chair closer to her and
pulled her into his arms.
"My life hasn't always been like this
either. I've never felt so much love
and care as I have from millions of people around the world since we’ve gotten
well known. I, too, expect it all to
come crashing down at any time or to wake up one day and realize it had all
been a dream. So, you never know what
life will bring. Cherish what you have
at the moment and treat each day as a new day full of promises, hope and
happiness and take it from there.” He
finished by pulling away and handing her a glass of wine. “Now, let’s finish up and take a walk and discuss
our future, one new day at a time.” She
smiled widely at him and finished her wine.
PART TWO
CHAPTER TWENTY
SIX
Six Months Later
Michelle woke up on Saturday morning with a huge
smile. <I>One more day and he'll be back!</I> The guys had been on a short promotional tour for their new
album for the last week and a half.
Michelle and Kimberly had settled down happily into
a fabulous townhouse Howie had found for them.
Kimberly was back in a real school, not having suffered from her two-month
absence. Howie had charmed Michelle
into working for his real estate development company on a part time basis. Her past experience as a paralegal in the
real estate field proved that she was totally suited for the job and she became
a great asset to Howie and his partner.
She chose to work only part-time to keep the stress level down and to
spend more time with Kimberly, as well as the guys.
Kevin and Michelle kept their promises to each
other and grew closer in their relationship, keeping each other in control and
spending hours and hours discussing their fears, thoughts and lives. Kevin introduced her to his therapist and
she took to him immediately, seeing him every couple of weeks at Kevin's
insistence. Kevin and Michelle even
went to sessions together several times and found it beneficial and
comforting. They had only gone beyond a
platonic relationship once more after Key West, well actually six times over a
twenty-four hour period. Kevin had
broken down over Christmas and Michelle had finally found him, with Howie's
help, all alone on December 26th in a small inn near Fort Walton
Beach. She comforted him. Howie had stayed with Kimberly and then
graciously welcomed them home with open arms.
Telly was inhibited by their closeness at first, sensing their strong
affection with each other, but over time she and Michelle warmed to each other
and became great friends.
Brian was still totally in love with Lauren, and
had proposed to her on April first.
Lauren took to Kimberly immediately and took her under her wing as a
little sister. The three of them were
often found planning some outrageous high jinks on everyone.
Nick was totally amazing and spent most of his free
time at their house, entertaining both Kimberly and Michelle. He reminded Michelle of her younger brother
and she couldn't have loved him more.
He was still Kim's favorite and he took her
everywhere he could think of, especially the ocean.
AJ and Michelle still flirted outrageously with
each other, but had developed a deep friendship. They spent a lot of time together and AJ helped Michelle renew
her relationship with her sister Patti.
Things were still a little strained between the women at times, but as
every week past they felt their sisterhood returning to the way it used to be,
mainly due to AJ. AJ was totally
infatuated with Patti. She was young,
intelligent and totally independent after having been on her own for five
years. She played hard to get for a
couple of months and then finally gave in to his charm and they've been
inseparable ever since.
Howie. . . Howie was perfect. He and Michelle had mutually agreed to slow
things down after their dinner in Key West and taken each day as it came. They spent every free minute together
falling more deeply in love and finally fell back into bed with each other in
mid-January. Neither had ever been
happier in their entire lives. This
last separation due to his schedule had been the hardest and he had asked her
last night to move in with him, which she readily agreed to with tears of
happiness pouring down her face.
Michelle climbed out of bed and began her day by
putting every Backstreet Boy cd they had in the player and blared it
outrageously. Kimberly awoke with the
same giddy feeling and soon joined her mother in dancing all over the house as
they dressed and cleaned. The day
proved to be a long one with much anticipation. They met Telly, Patti and Lauren for lunch at the House of Blues
and between the five of them, the noise level in the restaurant was
unbelievable. Numerous fans came over
to them and begged for autographs and promises to let their favorite boy know
they loved them. The rest of the day
was spent shopping, with everyone buying new clothes and silly gifts for their
men. Kimberly was hilarious in her
imitations of her mother and "aunts" being so extremely excited and
goofy. They finally split up at six
that evening with promises to meet in the morning at Kevin's house to plan a
great welcome home party.
The telephone rang at 8:30 that night. Michelle grabbed it excitedly, expecting
Howie's call. Her happy expression
immediately slipped away as she listened to AJ. She ended the call quickly and drove as fast as she could to
Telly's house to drop off Kimberly, giving her only the briefest excuse that
she had to take care of something.
*******************
Michelle used Howie’s key to unlock the back
door. The whole house was in darkness,
but she could hear music playing softly from somewhere within. She closed the door behind her and placed
her coat and bag on the kitchen counter.
“AJ? Where are you?” She felt fear crawling up her
back. She walked through the darkened
kitchen to the hall. She stood and
listened carefully, trying to determine where the music was coming from. She ventured a few feet to the left and felt
along the wall for a light switch.
Finding none, she continued down the hall, the music becoming slightly
louder.
“AJ? I’m here.
What’s wrong, sexy?” she called out into the dark. She continued down the hall and noticed a
slice of light coming from beneath the door leading to the studio. She quickened her step. Her heart was beating wildly, intuitively
knowing something was wrong.
She quietly opened the door and stepped in. AJ was at the piano, his head resting
against the top as his hands hovered above the keys; a half empty bottle of
booze lie by his side. She stood
momentarily frozen, watching his shoulders heaving up and down, assuming he was
crying. He had the cd they had all made
during the small private engagement party they had for Brian and Lauren playing
in the background. She could hear her
own voice singing "I Need You Tonight" with Howie She rushed over to him and wound her arms
around his neck.
“Oh baby, what’s wrong? What’s happened?” she clung
tightly to him absorbing his movements.
His head shot up and he grabbed her right hand
pulling her to his side. She stumbled
and landed on the bench next to him. The
grip on her hand scared her. Her eyes
flew to his face. His eyes were full of
anger, rage and hate.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-SEVEN
He glared at her and sneered, “Well, well, if it
isn’t the one and only Michelle.” He
licked his lips as he stared at her. He
swung his legs to the left, never letting go of her hand. He walked slowly to stand right before
her. She stared back at him
confused. Was it only a half hour ago,
he had called her crying, saying he needed her right away? Now he was drunk, belligerent and mad as
hell at her.
“What the hell is wrong with you, AJ!” she shouted
while attempting to stand up. He pushed
her chest causing her to fall back onto the bench. He clutched the neckline of her shirt and pulled her towards him.
“Don’t act all innocent with me, babe! You know damn well what’s wrong.” He moved
closer to her and grabbed her chin, forcing her to tilt her head up to meet his
eyes. “You’ve been fucking with me ever
since we met and I think it’s time we did things my way.”
“AJ, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I haven’t done anything to you. I love you, you know that! I’d never do anything to hurt you.” she
tried pushing his hand off her face. She’d never seen him like this and it
scared the shit out of her. Hell, she’d
never even seen him get really mad.
He stepped back and pulled her up roughly, yanking
her against his body and holding there with his arms. He pushed his face against hers, licking her cheek with his
tongue and fighting her struggles.
“Knock it off, whore! You know
you want me and I’ve decided you shall have me.” He brought his lips down onto hers, mashing them against her and
trying to pry them open.
She pushed against him wildly and cried out in
panic. He shoved his tongue into her
mouth forcefully. Sensing she may bite,
he withdrew it and pulled his head back, cackling at her.
“You see, Michelle, I can do anything I want and
you can’t stop me,” He pulled her several feet over to the sofa and pushed her
down onto it.
“AJ, stop!
Please, stop! What the fuck has
gotten into you. God damn it!” she
screamed while kicking out at him. He
grabbed her feet and flung her clogs off her.
He twisted her legs to the left, causing her to turn her whole body towards
the edge of the couch. He brought his
hand down hard onto her ass, twice.
“AJ, stop!” she cried out and proceeded to cry wholeheartedly.
AJ froze and sank slowly to his knees next to her,
his hand still on her ass, and stared at her.
He heard her sobs, realizing what he was doing to her.
“FUCK!” His scream startled her and she looked up
at him scared. He bent over and leaned
his head against her hip. He was
deathly quiet. She couldn’t even hear
his breathing.
“AJ?” she said timidly. He didn’t respond. She
started shaking lightly and her mind was in a turmoil. She wanted to get up, but was afraid of his
reaction. She wanted to scream and kick
him, yet she wanted to take him into her arms and comfort him. She wanted to get the hell out of there, but
she wanted to stay and find out what was wrong. <I>Something horrible
has happened to make him act like this.
God, he’s never even uttered a single hurtful word to me, and now
this? Oh god, have I been leading him
on all this time? We've had a natural flirtatious relationship. I'd made it
clear to him back in the Keys that it would go no further. What the hell went wrong?</I>
She tried to think of anything that she may have
done or said to him in the last few weeks to enrage him. He’d seemed so happy before they went on the
promo tour. He’d only been gone ten
days. She’d spoken to him every morning
since, except this morning, and he never hinted anything was wrong. She closed her eyes and laid quietly
listening to her own breathing.
AJ was horrified at how he’d just acted. He kept his head down, leaning on her
hip. <I>What the fuck am I doing? Why
am I doing this to her? Of all people, she’s the last I’d wanted to hurt. What the fuck is wrong with me?</I>
He could hear her.
He knew she was terrified and hurt.
He couldn’t look at her. He felt
her warm body beneath his forehead and hand.
He slowly moved his fingers over her, not moving his hand. <I>How
could I have hit her? How could I have
been so brutal to her?</I> He
felt the tears sliding down his face. <I>She has trusted me completely. God, she trusted me from the first few
moments we'd met. And this is how I
repay her? Berating her, almost raping
her, hitting her?</I>
His breath caught in his throat and he gasped
wildly. Without realizing it, his hand
started softly and smoothly caressing the area he had slapped. He started sobbing and whispering over and
over, ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry’.
Michelle froze the moment she heard him, holding
her own breath. <I>Oh god, what have I done to him?</I> She sensed immediately that he was
sorry. She listened to him for several
minutes, the tears sliding down her cheeks.
She felt his hand soothing her ass.
She felt his shaking against her body.
Drawing in a quiet breath, she gently pulled
herself up towards the end of the couch.
His hands fell off her. She
looked at him carefully and sensed he wasn't going to stop her. She pulled her legs up slowly and crouched
at the end of the sofa. His head was in
his hands, sobbing continuously. She
slowly got off the couch and stood at the end, hesitating briefly. Her head was telling her to run, her heart
won out.
She slowly sank to her knees beside him and wrapped
her arms around his chest and shoulders.
She leaned her head against him and cried with him.
AJ felt her pulling away from him slowly. In his mind he was screaming and begging her
to stay. Once she was out of his touch,
he felt the greatest loss imaginable in his heart. <I>Oh, god, I’ve lost
her forever. Why did I do this? Why did I hurt her? I’m not mad at her, I’m mad at Deanna. God damn it all! What?? She’s not going?
Oh god, I don’t deserve her. Oh
god, she’s holding me, crying for me.</I>
Michelle forced AJ’s body to turn towards her and
she tucked her arms under his and held him for dear life. He automatically wrapped his arms around her
and clung to her just as tightly. Her
face was buried against his neck. She
could smell a mixture of cologne, sweat and alcohol. His goatee rested against her ear, causing a small tickle as his
sobs raked his body, causing him to move slightly back and forth. She pressed her lips against his skin and
murmured soothing words to him over and over.
She pulled her left arm from his side and brought it up and over his
shoulder to hold him tighter. Her upper
body was pressed tightly against his.
She ran her fingers lightly along the back of his neck, hopefully
soothing him with her touch. She
absentmindedly ran her right hand over his back in small circles.
She felt his sobs decrease and his body shook less
violently. She continued kissing his
neck and throat, telling him everything was okay and that she loved him. She moved her body slightly and placed her
left leg over his bent knees, so that she sat directly in front of and against
him. His arms pulled her tighter once
again. She felt one of his hands move
to the back of her head and he started stroking her hair. They stayed that way for twenty minutes,
crying against each other.
Michelle pulled her head away from his throat and
slowly turned his face towards her. The
anger, rage and hate were gone from his eyes. Only sorrow and disbelief were
evident. She ran her fingers gently
across his hairline, and then down to his eyes, which shut automatically as she
leaned forwards and kissed each one.
She pulled back and watched his eyes open, staring at her with shock,
amazement and guilt. She moved her eyes
to his cheeks and nose and softly caressed them as well. She ran her thumbs across his swollen lips
and along his jaw line. She looked him
straight in the eye and brought her lips to his, kissing them ever so lightly.
She pulled back and whispered, “I love you , AJ,
and no matter what you do, I will continue to love you, because I know the real
you. And this isn't you. I know you’re sorry and I know you didn’t
mean any of it. I'm sorry for making
you this way.”
New tears came rushing from his eyes. He gently grabbed her face in his hands and
leaned his forehead against hers. “Oh
god, babe,” he gasped, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” They both cried again, clinging to each other.
When their tears slowed, their mouths joined
together as if magnetized. The kiss was
incredibly passionate, almost as if they couldn’t get enough of each
other. AJ’s hands spread across her
back, pulling her closer, deepening the kiss.
His tongue searched wildly inside her hot mouth. Hers was equally as frantic. She moved her hands to his shoulders and
clutched at him pulling him closer still.
When they finally broke apart, both were totally breathless.
Michelle moved her hands between them and grabbed
the bottom of AJ’s shirt, and pulled it upwards and off, never tearing her eyes
from his. Taking her lead, he quickly
removed her shirt and threw it aside.
She lowered her mouth to his chest and licked and suckled his damp skin,
while moving her hands to his belt buckle and struggled to release it.
AJ’s hands entangled themselves in her hair as she
sucked at his nipple, causing him to groan loudly. He moved his hands down and over her shoulders until he reached
her bra, quickly unclasping it and drawing it away from her, pushing her away
from him to remove it completely. His
hands engulfed her chest, kneading and stroking and lightly pinching. He found her mouth again and she eagerly
clamped her lips to his.
Her hands continued their struggle to unzip his
jeans. She groaned in frustration and
he pulled back and unzipped them himself.
He pushed her up so that she sat on the edge of the couch, while he
quickly stood and shed the rest of his clothing. He dropped to his knees again and reached for her zipper,
carefully pulling it down swiftly. He
pushed the fabric apart and leaned his head down to kiss her lower
abdomen. She moaned and entwined her
fingers in his hair. Never taking his
lips off her, he quickly pulled her jeans over her hips and legs and threw them
aside. His hands grabbed the back of
her thighs, pulling her crotch higher as he lowered his kisses. He breathed in deeply, enthralled with her
feminine scent. He ripped her panties
off and shoved his tongue deep into her, squeezing her ass with his fingers. She moaned loudly and ground herself against
his mouth. He groaned as well and
pulled her down onto his lap, impaling her.
They frantically rode each other, as tears continued to cascade down
their faces.
When they were exhausted, they fell against each
other. AJ lifted her briefly to slide
out of her. They clung together sobbing
for several brief moments.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-EIGHT
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!" Michelle and AJ both jumped at the harsh
voice and fell off each other. Kevin
strode into the room, deathly calm, and picked up AJ's jeans and threw them at
him.
"Get dressed!" He stared at him
venomously. He turned slightly and
picked up her jeans, shirt and bra. He
eyed her ripped panties and then scooped them up and shoved them in his pocket.
AJ and Michelle were frozen in shock. Kevin leaned over and pulled Michelle up by
her arm and led her over to the half-bathroom behind the piano. He turned to AJ again when he reached the
door.
"I said get dressed, NOW!" AJ jumped at
the sound of his voice and pulled his jeans on. Kevin pushed Michelle into the bathroom and handed her clothes to
her. He watched her carefully as she
stood there avoiding his eyes and clutching her things before her. "Michelle, get dressed," he said
softly, then closed the door and turned back to AJ.
AJ was sitting on the edge of the couch, shirtless,
with his head in his hands, moaning and mumbling. Kevin walked over to him and yanked him upwards.
"What the fuck did you just do?" The anger in his eyes made AJ cringe, he
turned his head away.
"Christ Kevin, I hurt her!" Another sob
wrenched from his mouth, "I took all my anger over Deanna out on her! Oh, God, what have I done?"
"What the fuck are you talking about? I saw you two. She was willingly participating!" Kevin turned away from AJ and began pacing back and forth, his
hands clenched into fists. Suddenly he
stopped and rushed back over to AJ, grabbing him by the arm once again. "You better start making sense, Bone, or
I swear I'll kill you!"
Michelle stood trembling in the bathroom for
several moments before absentmindedly pulling on her clothes. She leaned against the bathroom door and
sank to the floor, mentally kicking herself over and over. <I>Oh
God, Howie! Oh god, I've betrayed him
so bad. And Patti, my own sister! I'm nothing but a whore, AJ's right. This is all my doing! I don't deserve to live…</I>
"Let go, damn it!" AJ shouted at
Kevin. He yanked his arm away and fell
back onto the couch, covering his face with his hands.
"You reek!
What the fuck have you been doing?
Drinking all day? And why did you take off last night?"
"Yes! Jesus Christ, I couldn't deal with
it! All I could think of was that one
year ago today, Deanna was lost and alone and killed herself! God, Kevin, didn't you realize what date it
was?" AJ looked wide-eyed and
frantic at Kevin.
"Yes, I did, AJ." He replied quietly.
"So I came here, full of rage for not being
there for her. Hating myself, hating
you, hating Michelle! I called her, not
intending to hurt her, and she came rushing over! God, she doesn't even know what day it is!" AJ pulled at his
hair and slammed a fist down onto the couch.
"Jesus, Kevin, she came here out of concern for me and I treated
her like shit! I called her names, I
forced myself on her, I hit her and thank god I stopped when I did, or. . . I
don't know what I would have done!"
Kevin stared at him wide-eyed. He sank down onto the coffee table and put
his head in his hands. "What I saw
was not you attacking her."
"It wasn't.
She forgave me and then gave herself to me. Fuck! She has to think
this is all her fault. God, what is she
a fucking saint or just totally deranged?
How could she have forgiven me? How could I have done this to her!"
he screamed.
Michelle heard his screams and cried harder. She stood up quickly and started wildly
kicking the door, screaming incoherently and throwing anything in her sight
against the mirror. It shattered down
upon the counter, bits flying out at her.
She grabbed a piece of the glass and stared at it.
AJ and Kevin jumped up and rushed to the
bathroom. Kevin flung the door open,
grabbed her and pulled her out, slapping the glass out of her hands. AJ stared hopelessly at her. <I>Oh
God, look what I've done!</I>
Michelle screamed and struggled against Kevin,
pounding her fists against him.
"Let me go!
Let me go! I'm a fucking whore
and I don't deserve to live. Let me
gooooo! Oh god, I've betrayed Howie. Oh
god, Howieeeeeeee!" Her legs
buckled and Kevin drew her down onto the floor, not releasing his hold on her. AJ sank to his knees next to them, tears
cascading down his face.
"Ssshh, stop babe. Stop, this isn't your fault.
Howie loves you. We all love
you. Stop, baby!" Kevin said
softly over and over.
AJ reached out his hand to touch her, but pulled it
back quickly. <I> I don't deserve
to touch her, ever again. I've done
this to her!</I> He lowered
his head and stared at his hands.
Michelle collapsed against Kevin out of exhaustion,
but continued to cry and gasp.
"Kevin? Oh Kevin, promise
me. . . promise me you'll take care of Kimberly. She loves you like a father. Please, please take care of my
baby!"
AJ's head flew up at her words. "Michelle. . . please don't. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean any of this. Please, baby, I'm sorry." He laid his hand on her back this time. She flinched briefly and he pulled away.
"Michelle, don't talk like this. Kimberly has
you, a wonderful mother. . . “ Kevin
said, suddenly extremely scared.
"NO! I
don't deserve anything. I just want to
die! I'm not worth shit and I'm going
to die! Let me go!" She struggled against him again and tried to
stand.
AJ grabbed her from the back and held onto her,
along with Kevin. His wild sobs against
her back made her stop struggling and she listened to him for a moment before
pulling her face away from Kevin's chest.
She turned towards AJ and stared at him incredulously. <I>Why
is he crying like that? This is all my fault..</I>
"No, no, no!
God, Michelle, I didn't mean it.
This is not your fault. I'm the
one who attacked you. I said horrible
things to you - I didn't mean them. I
forced myself on you. GOD! I hit
you!" He screamed.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-NINE
"YOU HIT HER?" Nick and Brian had run
into the room, hearing the screaming upon entering the house. Nick rushed over to AJ and pulled him up
swiftly. He glared at him with
rage. "You hit her?" Getting no verbal response from AJ, he swung
his fist wildly and caught AJ in the stomach.
AJ fell to his knees and Nick pushed him away from him. Brian ran over and grabbed Nick and pulled
him backwards.
"What the hell is going on?" he asked looking frantically at the four
of them.
"Brian! Help, AJ!" Kevin shouted. Brian ran over to AJ and helped him onto the couch. Michelle stared in disbelief at Nick.
"What the fuck are you doing, Nick! I'm the fucking whore who has led him on for
months and I deserve everything, EVERYTHING!" Michelle struggled against Kevin again, catching him off
guard. He fell backwards and she jumped
up swiftly and ran for the door.
"STOP HER!" He screamed scrambling to his feet. Nick stood frozen looking at AJ and then Kevin.
Kevin pushed past him and ran after Michelle.
AJ looked up at Nick and saw the confusion in his
eyes. "Don't listen to her, this
is not her fault! All she did was
comfort me and I took out all my anger and rage on her. Oh god!" he moaned into his hands again
and Brian wrapped his arms around him.
Nick walked slowly over towards them and sat on the coffee table.
"Tell us, AJ, what happened." He said
quietly.
**********************
Kevin ran through the hall frantically. "Michelle!" He heard the back door bang open and ran
towards the kitchen. He flew to the
door and saw her running towards her Jeep.
"Stop!"
She reached the jeep and was fumbling with her
keys, trying to make one fit, blinded by her tears. She felt Kevin’s arms wrap around her again. “Don’t touch me, I’m scum!” she said
hoarsely, but quietly.
“No. I’ll
never let go. I’ve promised you that
and I won’t stop now. I love you and no
matter what happens, I will always love you.” He spoke slowly turning her
towards him. The anguish, fear and
guilt in her eyes tore him up. “Please
listen to me. You are wonderful, caring
and very loyal to Howie. None of us
think you are a whore or scum. What you
did for AJ was incredible.”
She pushed against him and cried, “NO! Don’t you
see? I made him get like that. I went too far. I flirted with him too much.
I’m a fucking tease and a whore.
I want to get out of here, please!
I don’t deserve to live anymore.”
“STOP IT! I
won’t let you talk that way! Jesus
fucking Christ, this is not your fault!
It’s not you! AJ is consumed
with guilt and rage today because this is the day, one year ago, that Deanna
killed herself. It’s not about
you!” The tears were streaming down his
face and landing on her head.
She was silent, trying to and failing to absorb
what he’d just said. She suddenly felt
incredibly tired. He sensed her
exhaustion and picked her up into his arms.
She kept her eyes closed, head turned towards his chest and cried softly
to herself. He turned towards the
kitchen door to see Howie standing there, scared and confused.
“Kevin, what’s happened? What’s wrong with
Michelle?” The fear in Howie’s voice
tore through Kevin.
“D, let’s get her upstairs and I’ll tell you
everything, ok? I promise.” Kevin
walked past him and through the kitchen to the stairs. Howie hesitated briefly and then followed
him quietly. Kevin brought her into
Howie’s bedroom and laid her gently on the bed. She curled into a tight ball and kept her eyes closed. He drew a blanket over her and backed up
towards the door. Howie just stood
there staring at her in shock.
Kevin leaned against the doorjamb and watched
him. He slowly started explaining to
Howie.
“D, AJ snapped today over Deanna. Michelle came to comfort him. AJ freaked out and basically attacked her
verbally and physically. I don’t know
exactly how it all happened, but when I walked in, they were locked together,
naked and crying uncontrollably. He
says he didn’t rape her, but that she forgave him for his assault and thinking
it was all her fault for flirting with him all these months, she gave herself
to him, sexually. Now, they are both
tearing themselves up over everything.
AJ is wrecking himself over his guilt of abusing her and Michelle wants
to kill herself for betraying you.”
Kevin stared at Howie, not being able to read his thoughts. A tear slid from each of his brown eyes, but
that’s all Kevin could see.
“Howie, say something.”
Howie continued staring at Michelle, his jumbled
thoughts flying around his head fiercely.
<I>How do I deal with this?
What do I say to her? God, I love her so much.
I know she loves me. I can’t let
her go. AJ? What the fuck do I do about him? God, he’s my best friend. I love him.
Why didn’t I see his suffering? Why did he take it out on Michelle? Fuck!</I>
Howie felt Kevin shake him. He swung his eyes over to him and slowly
made his way to Michelle. He sat down
gently on the side and placed his hand on her arm.
“Michelle?” he spoke gently and calmly.
Michelle’s eyes flew open at the sound of his
voice. <I>Oh God! I love him, why did I
betray him? Why isn’t he yelling at me?</I> Her eyes searched his, not sure of what his said.
“Howie, I’m sorry.
I honestly love you so much and I’m sorry. You have been so good to me and I’ve destroyed everything. Kevin is going to keep Kimberly for me and
if you can stand to look at her, after what I’ve done, I want you to promise to
help take care of her too. She loves
you so much. I’m so sorry, I’ll never
hurt anyone again!”
Howie’s eyes turned angry. He jumped off the bed backing away
slightly. He stared down at her, not
believing what he was hearing.
Finally, he inched back towards her, his finger
pointing at her and said, in an extremely low and angry voice, “You listen to
me. . . I refuse to let you walk away from me now. You are going to cut this shit out now and don’t even think about
killing yourself. You hear me? You are
not leaving me now! I’ve waited my
whole fucking life for you and I’ll be damned if I’ll let you go!” His voice rose, stronger and more passionate
with every sentence. He choked out a
sob and fell onto the bed beside her, pulling her into his arms and crushing
her. “Don’t leave me, Beauty, I need
you, I love you. I’m not mad at you or
AJ, I love you and I’ll never stop.”
Michelle was paralyzed against him. She couldn’t think straight. She gasped for each breath, not knowing what
to say. <I>He still loves mer? How could he? I fucked his best friend. How could
he not hate me?</I>
He gave her one more squeeze and then released her,
pushing her back gently onto the pillows.
“I have to speak to AJ, but I’ll be back. Please believe me that I love you and I don’t want to lose
you.” He bent down and kissed her lips
lightly. “Please stay here with Kevin
and promise me you won’t do anything rash.”
She nodded mutely and watched him walk to the door,
incredulous over his lack of hatred.
Kevin hugged him briefly before closing the door behind him.
Howie walked slowly to the stairs and started down
them. Half way he stopped, took in a
deep breath and raised his eyes to the ceiling, “God, help me on this. Help me
understand. Help me deal with this the right way.”
CHAPTER THIRTY
Nick and Brian sat with AJ and listened mutely as
he told them every little detail. He
kept stopping to take deep breaths or to slam his fist against his leg. Brian had released him soon after he started
talking and now sat facing him on the end of the couch. Nick was bent over resting his head in his
hands, sitting still on the coffee table.
He looked up at AJ from time to time, but the anguish in his eyes hurt
him too badly and he had to look away.
“AJ, why didn’t you tell us how bad this was
affecting you? We all loved Deanna too,
we could have helped you through this,” Brian asked softly.
“None of you seemed affected by it, none of you
even mentioned her name this week.” AJ
looked up confused.
“We were and still are affected. We just decided not to mention it to you,
out of respect for your feelings.”
“God, AJ, I’m sorry, we didn’t see this happening,”
said Nick softly, confused by his concern for AJ’s sanity, but still furious
with him for his actions.
“Guys, can I talk to AJ alone?” Howie stood quietly
at the door and spoke in a remarkably calm tone.
Brian and Nick exchanged looks and turned to
AJ. He nodded his head and they got up
and left the room. AJ stood up from the
couch and walked around the table towards Howie. Howie put up his hand to stop him from coming any further.
“D! I’m so sorry!
Please believe me.” AJ started towards him again and fell to his knees
before him.
“AJ, don’t do this, get up!” Howie pulled on AJ’s
arm and led him over to the couch.
They sat silently for several moments. Finally AJ stood up and faced Howie.
“Christ, D, just get it over with!”
“Get what over with?” asked Howie looking up at AJ
questionably.
“Get up and beat the shit out of me! I deserve it. You’d have every right! I abused and fucked your girlfriend! Come on, man, hit me!” AJ was shaking with fury.
Howie stood up and locked eyes with AJ. His fists were clenched at his side and he
took a slow, deep breath.
“AJ, I’m not going to hit you. Sit down.”
AJ stared at him in disbelief and allowed Howie to
guide him back down onto the couch.
Howie ran his hands through his hair and turned to AJ. “Bone, I’m not going to freak out over
this. It’s evident to all of us that
you need help in dealing with Deanna.
I’m sorry none of us knew how badly this has been getting to you. Promise me, that tomorrow, you’ll call
someone and go talk to them about this and everything else. If you don’t, then we’ll be in even deeper
shit.”
AJ continued to stare at him, shaking his head
slowly. “D, how can you sit there and
look at me? Do you know what I did to
Michelle?” Howie nodded slowly, “I freakin’ hurt her like crazy, I called her
names, I took all my anger out on her, because she cared, because she reminded
me of Deanna, I hit her for Christ sakes!
How can you not hate me? What is
wrong with you?”
Howie closed his eyes and let out a slight
sob. “Fuck, AJ, keep it up and I will
fucking deck you right here and now. I
am trying my best to stay in control and not flip out. The last thing we need here is me ranting
and raving at you or Michelle over this.
I love her deeply and I know she didn’t fuck you because she was in love
with you or because she wanted to hurt me.
From what I’ve heard she thought all this was her fault. Do you realize she’s up there planning on killing
herself, because she thought she led you to this?” He stared at AJ and watched his friend fall apart.
AJ gave up and slumped sideways onto the couch,
covering his head with his hands and cried again. Howie watched him for several moments, with tears running down
his face. He wiped them off and stood
up. He looked around, not sure what to
do. He walked over to the bar and
poured himself a small glass of whiskey.
He gulped it down rapidly and wiped his arm across his mouth. He grabbed another glass and refilled
both. He brought it over to AJ and
knelt down before him.
“AJ. AJ,
stop. Here, drink this,” AJ sat up and
took the glass from Howie. He stared at
him briefly before downing it. Howie
drank his slowly, watching AJ. AJ just
stared at the empty glass, turning it over and over in his hand.
*********************
Nick and Brian were in the living room, pacing
around, not sure of what to do with themselves.
Brian strode over to the front window and leaned
against it. “Where the hell is Kim?” he
spoke out loud thoughtfully. He pulled
his cell phone from his coat pocket and punched in Lauren’s number. He spoke to her briefly and turned to
Nick. “She’s not with Lauren.”
Nick walked towards him, his face ashen, his hands
shoved deeply into his pockets. “Try
Telly’s.”
Brian dialed Telly and held his breath.
“Hello?”
“Tel, it’s Brian.
Is Kimberly with you?”
“Brian? Yeah, Michelle dropped her off a couple of
hours ago, what’s wrong?” Telly heard something strange in Brian’s voice.
“Tel, just keep her there, please. Something’s going down over here with AJ and
Howie and Michelle. This is the
anniversary of Deanna’s death and it’s not going well. Please don’t let Kim know anything is wrong,
ok?”
“Sure, Brian.
Don’t worry about her. I’ll make
sure she’s oblivious to everything. Where’s
Kevin?” Telly was shaking slightly; sensing something terribly wrong was going
on.
“He’s here, upstairs with Michelle right now. I’ll have him call you a little later to
explain everything, ok?”
“Ok, and Brian? I’m sorry for whatever is going on. I wish I could do something to help.”
“Telly, you are, just by taking care of Kim. I don’t know when Michelle will be able to
get her. If things don’t change, it may
be a while, ok?” Brian was scared of
what he had seen in Michelle’s eyes. He
knew she was in deep trouble emotionally.
“Ok, I’ll call Lauren in the morning and we’ll take
her to shopping or something, ok? Keep me informed, please.”
“I will Tel, thanks, bye.” Brian hung up the phone and joined Nick on
the couch. The house was deathly
silent.
*************************
Michelle got off the bed slowly and walked towards
the bathroom.
“Where are you going?” Kevin rushed over to her,
frightened for her.
“I’ve just got to go to the bathroom,” she said
quietly looking at the floor.
“No, you don’t, not alone at least.” He
took her hand and led her into the bathroom.
“Kevin, I’m not a baby, I don’t need you in here,”
She looked up at him with defiance. Her
eyes were so puffy and rimmed with red.
He pulled her against him and hugged her
fiercely. “Please don’t do anything,
Michelle. I love you so much and can’t
stand seeing you like this. Please
don’t go backwards, you have me to help you through anything, remember? Howie and AJ both love you too, you know that. AJ didn’t mean to hurt you. He needed us to deal with Deanna and we
didn’t realize it. Howie will never
hate you. I’ve never seen him so happy
as he has been since you’ve gotten together.
Please believe everything I’m saying.” God, how was he going to get
through to her?
“Kevin, I’m so tired. I just need to pee and I swear I won’t do anything else. Ok? You can even leave the door half way open,”
she said pulling away from him. He
nodded and stepped out of the bathroom, keeping his hand on the doorknob, just
in case.
She walked out after a few minutes and headed back
to Howie’s bed. She looked down at it,
sighed and climbed in, pulling the blanket up over her head. Kevin lowered the lights and sat at her
feet, and kept a watchful eye on her.
CHAPTER THIRTY-
ONE
Howie stood up and turned to AJ. “You should go to bed or something. Don’t just sit here and keep drinking, it
won’t help.”
AJ looked up at him and replied softly, “I won’t, I
swear. I need to talk to Michelle, if
she’ll let me. I need to fix this.”
“Stay here. I’ll see what’s going on upstairs. Ok?”
Howie sighed deeply and walked towards the door. AJ leaned back on the couch and closed his
eyes. The cd they had made was still
playing, he had it set for continuous play.
He heard Kim and Nick’s voices as they belted out their rendition of
Baby One More Time. He smiled slightly
and then groaned realizing that he alone has destroyed all the happiness
they’ve all shared for the last six months.
**************************
Howie walked down the hall and into the living
room. He saw Brian and Nick sitting on
the couches, staring off into space.
They both jumped when they realized he was in the room. He looked at them and sat on the couch with
Nick.
“D? You okay?” Nick asked tentatively.
“I don’t know, I’m numb,” he replied quietly. They sat in uncomfortable silence for a
while.
Brian watched Howie just sit there and stare at the
wall. <I>I wish I knew what to say.</I> He finally got up and went into the kitchen. He grabbed a few sodas and brought them back
into the living room. He handed them
out, without speaking, and sat back down.
Nick shifted uncomfortably on the other couch and
sighed a few times. “Where’s AJ?” he
finally asked looking at Howie.
“In the studio,” Howie answered not looking at him,
“I guess someone should stay with him.”
Nick looked at Brian and shook his head. Brian understood and said he’d go. He walked down to the studio and hesitated
before entering. AJ was leaning against
the sound booth, listening to the cd playing.
He turned when he sensed someone was behind him. Brian saw the anguish on his face and felt
his heart go out to him. <I>No matter what, he’s my brother.</I> Brian walked over to AJ and put an arm
around his shoulder.
“Bone, you okay?”
“Not really, Bri.
I’ve fucked up so bad and no matter what I do or say, I can’t take any
of it back. I don’t know what to do,”
he said lifelessly.
“I know.
I’m sorry. I wish I knew what to
say too. This is all so unreal.” Brian
sighed deeply and put his hands in his jeans pockets.
******************************
Michelle didn’t sleep, how could she? She had a hundred things going through her
head and couldn’t organize her thoughts.
One second she was condemning herself, the next she was furious at AJ.
<I> How could this have happened? I
need to talk to everyone and get this straightened out. What do I do? I can’t bail out on Kimberly again, but how do I survive this?
How does this just go away? How do I make it up to Howie? What does Kevin
think? Will AJ and I ever get past
this? Fuck!</I>-
Kevin stood at the window, alternately staring
outwards and then watching Michelle.
She hadn’t moved in almost an hour.
He knew she wasn’t sleeping; her breathing was irregular. <I> How do I help her? How do I help AJ? Christ,
what Howie must be going through. He’s
gonna break eventually. He can’t keep
calm like this. I’ve got to call Telly.
Where the hell is Kim?</I>
“Michelle!” he startled her and she sat up quickly
searching for him, “Where’s Kimberly?”
Michelle saw him leaning against the window.
<I>God, he looks
awful.</I> “She’s with Telly.
Oh god, I better call her!”
She climbed out of bed and ran into the hall,
momentarily disoriented. Kevin followed
her quickly and guided her down the stairs.
They walked into the living room silently and Michelle froze at the
sight of Howie and Nick sitting there.
They both turned as they heard her small, sharp intake of breath. Her eyes darted quickly back and forth
between the two. <I>Oh God, what do
I do?</I>-
Howie jumped up and went over to her. He searched her eyes to gauge her state of
mind. She stared back confused and
unsure of herself.
He pulled her gently towards him and hugged her
fiercely. “Oh Babe, you had me so
scared.”
She clung to him, afraid to say anything, and cried
quietly. Kevin said he’d call Telly to
see how Kim was doing and walked into the kitchen. Nick got up quietly and followed him.
Howie led her over to the sofa and they sat down
together. Michelle kept her head down,
staring at Howie’s hand clasped between both of hers. After a few moments, Howie gently lifted her head to look at him,
“Talk to me,” he said quietly.
Michelle shook lightly from head to toe, her chin
and lips trembling. Howie bent over and
kissed her cheek softly. “It’s okay,
just tell me what happened.”
*************************
Brian led AJ from the studio towards the kitchen,
having finally convinced him that staying in there was unhealthy and that he
needed some coffee or food. As they
passed the entrance to the living room, AJ stopped suddenly and stared at Howie
and Michelle sitting on the couch, their backs to him. He let out a tiny groan and clutched his
stomach, feeling instantly nauseous.
Brian reached out, caught his arm and pulled him into the kitchen. Nick sat at the round table, a newspaper
opened before him, but not reading.
Brian guided AJ to the table and he fell into the
seat next to Nick, instantly putting his head in his hands. Kevin watched them cautiously while ending
his phone conversation with Telly, promising to call her in the morning. Brian set about making a pot of coffee. Nick looked over at AJ and felt sympathy and
remorse for punching him. He placed his
hand on AJ’s back and patted it softly.
No one knew what to say.
AJ got up and walked towards the kitchen door. Kevin started to go after him, but stopped
when he saw AJ lean against the door dejectedly, just looking into the living
room.
**************************
Michelle didn't know what to say. She just looked at Howie for several
minutes, with quiet tears streaming down her face. In her mind she couldn't get over the fact that he was sitting
here, next to her, holding her hand and not throwing her out of his house.
"Howie," she said finally, "don't
blame any of this on AJ. He's been your
friend for so long and this isn't his fault." AJ took a step forward, but Kevin rushed over and held him
back. AJ looked at him with imploring
eyes, but Kevin shook his head and held him firmly in place.
"I don't deserve you, Howie. For god's sakes, I slept with Kevin the
first night meeting him, I slept with you on the third day I knew you, and all
along I've flirted outrageously with AJ.
I didn't think I was doing any harm at the time. I just enjoyed his company and he's never
been anything but sweet and kind and loving.
I pushed him to his limit."
She dropped her eyes, "I don't know exactly what I did lately to
cause him to break, but. . . "
AJ made a strangled cry and Michelle and Howie
whipped around at the sound. Michelle
nearly fell off the couch but Howie caught her in time. She stood up quickly facing AJ.
"AJ, oh god, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do this to you!"
AJ stumbled forwards, pulling Kevin along. Kevin released his hold and AJ went to the
back of the couch and held out his hands.
"Michelle, please, you didn't do
anything! It's all me! Christ, I'm so sorry!" The ravaged look
on his face caused Michelle to fall back onto the couch on her knees and she
grabbed him quickly around his waist and held on to him.
"Don't!
You didn't do anything wrong, I did!”
“STOP IT!
It’s not you. I swear! It’s because of Deanna! God, I’ve been killing myself for the last
few days, because I wasn’t there for her.
I’m sorry I took out all my anger on you.” AJ croaked out his words
hoarsely, “I didn’t mean to.”
“Deanna?
What are you talking about?” Michelle pulled back and looked at him
strangely. “What does Deanna have to do
with me?”
“God, Michelle, I don’t know what I was
thinking. I was so enraged that she
just killed herself and didn’t care enough about me to consider how I’d feel
when she was gone. I’m so mad at her
even now. I wasn’t thinking rationally
earlier. I didn’t call you to hurt
you. When you showed up, I was. . . I
don’t know, I was just so furious. I
didn’t mean to take it out on you.” he looked down at her, seeing her
confusion.
“AJ, you said I was a whore and you’re right. You said I’ve fucked with you since the day
we met and you’re right. You didn’t do
anything I didn’t deserve! You know
that! I told you earlier it was
okay. I tried to show you that
everything you said and did was the truth!”
Michelle’s voice rose higher as she spoke, “You’re so right, AJ!” she
quickly got off the couch and backed away from him. She looked over at Howie and cringed at his tears. She looked past AJ to see Kevin right
behind him and Nick and Brian at the doorway, all with tears in their
eyes. “Howie, I’m sorry I’ve hurt
you. I’ve never loved anyone the way
I’ve loved you, but this can’t go on. I
can’t stand here and watch the people I love most in the world destroy their
lives because of me.” She slowly backed away from them all. “God, next thing you know I’ll probably be
fucking Brian or Nick! I’m sorry, I’m
so sorry. I swear I’ll never ever
bother any of you again!” She turned quickly to run towards the door, blinded
by tears and not seeing the entertainment center right behind her. Her head smashed against the hard surface
and her eyes glazed over as she fell to the floor.
CHAPTER THIRTY
TWO
With strangled cries, Howie and AJ bolted at the
same time, falling to their knees on either side of her. Howie gently pulled her head onto his lap,
smoothing her hair off her face. His
hand froze when he saw the blood on his fingers and trickling down from over
her eye.
He screamed, “NO! God, no! Please be all right, baby, please. Oh, God, someone help!” He looked up wildly and saw AJ sitting
across him with a dazed expression covering his face.
“YOU! You
did this! You fucking asshole, you did
this!” Howie clawed and clutched at Michelle’s shoulders, “Please wake up. Please, baby, wake up. I love you so much. Oh God!”
Kevin threw the phone to Brian and ordered him to
call an ambulance. He dropped to his
knees beside Howie and forcefully pulled Howie’s hands off Michelle. “Stop it, D! Let me see how bad it is.” Howie wouldn’t move away. “AJ, get him out of here!” Kevin screamed looking at AJ.
AJ jumped up quickly and ran behind Howie, pulling
him backwards away from Michelle. Howie
flew around to him and with fury in his eyes pushed AJ backwards, “You stay the
fuck away from me! You stay the fuck
away from her!” he shouted pointing at Michelle and then turning back quickly
and forcefully punching AJ on the side of his face. AJ stared at him briefly before flying out of the room.
“Nick! Go with him! Brian?” Kevin was frantic
watching Howie put his hands over his ears and screaming incoherently. God, this is it, he’s reached his limit,
thought Kevin.
Brian joined Kevin on the floor beside Michelle and
spoke quickly into the phone. The
ambulance was on its way. Kevin jumped
up to go to Howie as Howie turned quickly and slammed his fist through the
front window. Kevin caught his arm as
he was preparing to swing again. Howie
swung wildly with his other arm and caught Kevin’s chin, forcing his head
backwards. Kevin quickly righted
himself and overpowered Howie pulling him away from the window and over to the
couch.
“Please, D, stop! Don’t crack, I need
you. Michelle needs you. Please D!”
Kevin didn’t know what to do and was feeling the weight of the world
upon his shoulders. He held Howie in
his arms and heard his ravaging sobs as he released all his emotions.
Within moments an ambulance came quickly to a halt
before the house, it's sirens off per Brian’s instructions. Brian ran to the door and threw it open
before rushing back to Michelle. The
paramedics came in and looked inquiringly at everyone. Brian yelled at them to help Michelle and
they fell about checking out her injuries.
Within ten minutes they had her in the ambulance. Brian yelled at Kevin that he was going with
her and that he’d call him as soon as they were there.
Kevin continued to hold onto Howie until his sobs
subsided. Howie pulled himself up and
wiped his face. “Oh fuck, Kevin, I
didn’t mean to do that.”
Kevin looked at him with compassion. “Christ, D, I’m surprised you stayed calm
for so long,”
Howie smiled slightly. Kevin smiled slightly back.
“We’ve got to get to the hospital,” Howie said
jumping off the couch.
“NO! She’ll
be in good hands. First thing we need
to do is resolve this, right here, right now.”
Kevin pulled Howie towards the studio.
AJ and Nick were leaning against the glass doors to the back yard. AJ remaining silent while Nick was speaking
softly to him.
“AJ, please, you know Howie didn’t mean it, just
like you didn’t mean anything with Michelle.
God, it's just all the frustration and emotions flying around. Everybody’s sorry, but nobody knows how to
make it better. Michelle will
eventually realize none of this is her fault.
Kevin will help her I’m sure. And I guarantee he’ll call Dr. Towers to
go see her tonight. Oh, AJ, this isn’t
all your fault. Yeah you freaked out,
but it wasn’t really you! Please don’t
keep berating yourself. We’ll all get
through this.” Nick hung is head, not
sure if he was helping, not sure what to do.
Howie and Kevin heard Nick’s words and walked
towards them. Howie went up to AJ and
turned him around slowly. AJ was
shocked to see him and backed up slightly.
“AJ, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean any of it. I’m so freaked out right now and I guess I
just did what you did to Michelle earlier.
I know that you really didn’t intend to hurt her. I’m begging you for your forgiveness, now.”
Howie held out his hand to AJ.
AJ stared in amazement at Howie, before pulling him
into a hug. “D! I’m sorry, man!”
“I know, its okay.
We all need to calm down and think rationally. We’ve got to get Michelle some help. Kevin, can you call Towers and call Carey too? He knows her and maybe there’s something he
can do.” Howie regained his control and
pulled away from AJ, looking at Kevin.
Kevin grabbed both men on the shoulders and squeezed gently, then left
the room to make the calls.
Howie turned to Nick and smiled gratefully at
him. “Thanks, Nick, for being
here!” Nick nodded slightly, not sure
what good he’d done.
“Guys, I think we need to clean this place up. All this glass lying around is scaring the
shit out of me. D, your hand is
bleeding and AJ, your cheek is bleeding.”
Nick moved towards the half bath and surveyed the mess in there. He mumbled something about getting a broom
and left the room.
AJ and Howie walked up the stairs to their
respective rooms to clean up, agreeing to meet back downstairs in fifteen
minutes.
***********************
Michelle regained consciousness just as the
ambulance reached the hospital. She
looked around the ambulance with confusion.
Her eyes finally settling on Brian who was holding her hand and watching
her.
"Bri, why am I here? What did I do?" A scared look came over her face as she
probed his eyes.
"Shell, you didn't do anything. You whacked your head pretty good and passed
out. Don't worry, though. They said it
wasn't serious." Brian patted her
hand affectionately.
"Then I want to go home." She started to sit up and the paramedic
sitting near her head gently held her down.
"Please, miss, just relax and let the doctors
inside check you out properly."
Michelle groaned and cursed lowly.
*************************
Thirty minutes later, Kevin finished his
conversation with Carey after assuring him that everyone else was as well as
could be expected. Carey had become a
great confidant in the last six months and Kevin didn't hold anything
back. He sighed deeply and dialed
Brian's cell phone.
"B, what's happening?"
"Nothing serious, Kev. She's fine physically, but. . . "
"What!" Kevin was tired and anxious.
"Well, she's gotten really mad at
everything. When she first came to, she
was pretty disoriented and I think she thought she had tried to kill herself at
first. Then when I explained what
happened, she just kind of started getting angry. She's been cursing the doctors and nurses like crazy. She's with Dr. Towers now and I don't think
she's being very cooperative."
Brian sat in the empty waiting room outside of an office Dr. Towers had
taken her into.
"Ok, we're on our way down. Thanks, Bri."
"How's everybody there?"
"Better.
Howie calmed down considerably and he and AJ have talked. I think D
scared him into sobriety. We'll be
there soon though and can talk more then." Kevin hung up and helped Nick finish boarding up the front
window. When they were done, Kevin went
up the stairs to find AJ and Howie sitting side by side at the top step talking
quietly. They both looked beat, but
calm.
"Let's go guys, Brian said Michelle's okay
physically. She's talking to Towers
now, I guess."
CHAPTER THIRTY
THREE
"Michelle, just sit down and relax," Dr.
Jack Towers had been at a dinner party with his wife and several close friends
when Kevin reached him on his cell phone.
After listening to Kevin's voice trying to explain what had happened,
he'd rushed the twenty miles to the hospital to find Michelle in a rage. He signed her out after talking to the
doctor on duty and had led her and Brian to a vacant office on the second
floor.
"RELAX! How the fuck am I suppose to relax,
Jack?" Michelle stopped her pacing and turned to him with her hands on her
hips, "I want to get the fuck out of here and forget this fucking day ever
happened!"
Jack chuckled lightly, causing her to stare at him
with fury. "Christ, Jack, this
isn't a laughing matter!"
"Well, this certainly isn't the Michelle Wyman
that Kevin was describing to me earlier.
From what he said, you were on the verge of suicide and, well, you can
rant and rave all you want, because it's a lot healthier having you in this
state." He got up and guided her
to a seat next to his. "Let's just
sit down, you're making me tired watching you stalk back and forth across the
room. I've had a long day!"
"Tell me about it! Well you can forget worrying about the suicide shit. When I came to earlier, I was freaked
thinking I'd done it again. I had
promised Kimberly I was past that crap."
Michelle slouched in her chair and groaned. "Jack, I just want to go home!"
"You can…later. Now, why are you so mad?"
Jack watched her twisting her hair and staring stormily out the window.
"I'm mad, Jack, because I've fucked everything
up! Howie has been the best thing to
ever happen to me and I've totally screwed that up! I'm mad because AJ was hurting and he didn't let me know. I thought we were close!"
"Michelle, listen to yourself. How many people did you hide from when you
were hurting?" Jack looked at her
pointedly.
Michelle swung her head towards him and gave him a
baleful look. "What the fuck are
you talking about Jack? I didn't even know any of them back then?"
"I'm not talking about AJ, Kevin, Howie or the
others. I'm talking about the people
who loved and cared for you. Your
husband, your friends, Patti. Did you
turn to any of them? Did you come out
and let them know how depressed you were?
Did you ever stop to think that maybe any one of them could help
you?"
Michelle stared at him open mouthed. "Oh, like Rob could help me! He was part of the problem, remember? Anyway, I get your point! Ok then, why the hell didn't any of them
tell me this was the anniversary of Deanna's death? For christ sake's, she's the one who pretty much cemented my
relationship with AJ. Her death
devastated him and, according to him, my presence helped him deal with
it!" Michelle got up and strode
over to the windows, shoving her hair behind her ears. "I guess not enough though," she
said softly.
"Who's the only one he called today?"
Jack asked her quietly.
Michelle turned and sat on the credenza. "Why did he treat me like that?"
"Only he can answer that. And I understand he's already tried. You just wouldn't listen to him. You took all the blame onto yourself."
"I am at fault. We've had an incredibly flirtatious relationship from the
beginning. I didn't realize I'd gone
overboard." Michelle looked down at her feet and found them hypnotizing.
"I know you didn't! Michelle, I've know you for five months now and they way you and
AJ interact is just a reflection of his flirty attitude. It's contagious. You've enjoyed each other's company and have become great
friends. You haven't done anything
wrong. You yourself told me thats not
all to your relationship anyway. You've
described some very intense and serious discussions with him."
"I know, but, oh Jack, why do I feel so dirty?
Why did I have sex with him, really? It's probably because I am just a
whore. I probably just gave into my
sick, whoring ways. I've always been
like that." Jack stood up and quickly walked over to her. He pulled her head up gently and looked
deeply into her eyes.
"Michelle, you've told me that before you met
the guys, you'd only slept with two people in your life. Your husband and Brad. You know, Michelle, you've sat before me
several times and have always asserted that you never regretted having that
abortion. Well, you do and you've held
it inside all these years. Just accept
the fact that it was a wise decision at the time and face reality that you are
not a whore. You've made yourself
believe that because of the abortion.
You were young, innocent, and just discovering a whole new world. So you made a mistake. Everyone does. And then with Rob, you did what you felt was right and had the
baby. Do you regret that?"
"NO!
God, no! How can you even ask
that? I love Kimberly more than
anyone. I'd do anything for
her." Michelle looked up at him
incredulously.
"I know that.
Just checking." He chuckled softly, again.
"How the hell did you ever get your
license? You're not supposed to be like
this. You're suppose to be stern and
quiet and just nod your head and make little notes about how screwed up I am." Michelle smiled slightly at him.
"If I was that way, would you still see me?"
"NO!
God, I'm sorry, Jack. You are
awesome and I'm glad Kevin introduced us.
You make me feel better, you know?
Anyway, back to AJ and Howie.
What do I do?" Michelle
jumped off the credenza and started pacing again.
Jack smiled inwardly, glad to see she was calming
down. "You need to talk it
out. You all do. You need to sit down and not place blame on
yourselves or each other. You need to
listen to each other. AJ needs to confront his feelings about Deanna and his
guilt for not being there for her. You
need to explain to them why you felt it was all your fault. By the way, I take
it you still haven't told Howie about the abortion?"
Michelle swung back to look at him with fear in her
eyes, "No, only Kevin and Nick know still. How can I tell D that now? I tried in the beginning, but he kept
saying the past was past and he loved me for who I am today. He won't love me anymore." She sighed and sank into a chair.
"We'll need to discuss your guilt
further. But, until you face your
biggest secret and share it with him, you won't be able to forgive
yourself."
Michelle sat silently for several moments before
rising again slowly.
She and Jack talked for ten more minutes.
********************
Brian had sat in the waiting room for ages. He was so relieved to see Kevin and AJ walk
in that he jumped up and ran towards them.
"What the heck took so damn long?
Where's Nick and Howie?"
"Howie's getting a couple stitches in his
hand. Nick's with him." replied AJ
while absentmindedly rubbing his jaw.
"What's up with Michelle and Jack?" asked
Kevin looking towards the door of the office.
"They've been in there forever. No screaming or crashing sounds
though." Brian tried to smile, but only half succeeded.
Just then Jack opened the door. "Kev? Hey good to see you." He
said shaking his hand and looking at Brian and AJ inquiringly.
"Jack, thanks for taking the time for us. We
really didn't know what else to do besides calling you. This is my cousin, Brian and this is
AJ. Guys, this is Dr. Jack Towers, my
psychologist, and Michelle's. Our
savior!" Kevin grinned fondly at Jack.
"I wouldn't go that far, Kevin. But, thanks. Brian, AJ, nice to meet you.
AJ? You feel like talking?" Jack Towers was kind. He noticed the tired, ravaged, guilt ridden
face of AJ.
AJ shrugged his shoulders lightly, then nodded his
head.
"Good, come on in." Jack reached out and
guided AJ towards the door.
"Michelle in there?" AJ asked frightened,
pulling back slightly.
"Yes, and she wants to see you and talk to
you. Come on, she's past the biting
stage." Jack grinned and tugged AJ
into the room.
Kevin sighed in relief, glad that Jack was so
comforting. He collapsed onto one the
sofas, leaned his head back and closed his eyes.
CHAPTER THIRTY
FOUR
Carey finished stitching Howie's hand and told him
where to find the others. He helped him
off the table and held his jacket out to him.
"D? You sure you're okay? You look exhausted and. . . "
"Yeah, Carey, I'm, ah, alright. Incredibly tired though. I'm just really worried about Michelle and
her state of mind. She just doesn't
seem to get it that I really do love her.
Hell, if I didn't, would I even be here?" Howie was hurting. He told himself he could get past the thing
with AJ and Michelle but didn't understand why she couldn't comprehend how much
he loved her.
"Howie, you just keep telling her that if
that's what you really feel. She's
scared, confused and hating herself.
How can you feel love if you hate yourself?" Carey walked him out of the examination room
and towards Nick, who was waiting patiently in the hall.
Howie looked over to Carey and smiled slightly,
"Maybe you should change your specialty, Carey, and get into
psychotherapy?" Carey chuckled and
directed them to the elevators.
"Call me tomorrow and let me know how it's going, ok?"
"Yeah, thanks Carey. You're a good friend."
Howie slapped his back affectionately and indicated to Nick to join him.
*************************
Michelle stood nervously by the window, biting her
thumbnail. <I>Oh god, what do I say
to him?</I>
Jack led AJ into the dim office and cleared his
throat. Michelle turned at the sound
and let out a small gasp, before rushing towards AJ.
"Oh, AJ, I'm so sorry!" She threw her
arms around his neck and held him tightly.
AJ wasn't expecting her reaction and stood stunned. Tears slid down his face as he stood there
immobilized. Slowly, he wrapped his
arms around her. <I>Oh thank god! She doesn't hate me!</I>
"I'm sorry, Michelle. God, I didn't mean it. I love you so much. I'm so sorry." They stayed in each other's arms for several
minutes, crying softly and holding each other for dear life.
Jack sat on the credenza and watched them
silently.<I>This is going to be
easier than I expected.</I>
AJ and Michelle broke apart, unwillingly, upon
feeling Jack's hands on their shoulders.
"Let's sit, shall we?"
They both nodded and walked the few feet to the
chairs, holding hands.
"Ok, let's get this over with. AJ, what happened to you today?" Carey leaned back against the credenza and
lit a cigarette.
"Can I have one of those?" AJ asked.
"Me too."
"Sure," he handed them each a cigarette
with a slight chuckle and held a match out to them.
"Thanks, Dr. Towers."
"AJ, call me Jack. I hate that stuffy doctor crap," Jack said with a
smile. They all sat in silence for a
few minutes, smoking and thinking.
AJ looked at him gratefully and then took a deep
breath. "You know? If I'm going to
do this, I'd rather the guys hear it too," AJ said softly, looking
questionably at Michelle. She nodded in
agreement and squeezed his hand before putting her cigarette out.
Jack nodded his head and strode over to the
door. As he stepped out, Nick and Howie
were entering the waiting area. Jack
looked at Howie and smiled comfortingly.
"Hi, you must be Howie. Michelle's described you so often, I'd know
you anywhere." He said shaking his hand.
Howie looked surprised, then smiled widely. "Nice to meet you." Kevin introduced Jack to Nick and then Jack
asked them all to come in.
A few eyebrows were raised and Jack explained,
"AJ wants to explain, not just to Michelle, but to all of you. I think it’s a wise decision. This day has been hell enough without having
him, or her, go through it over and over.
Come on in, it's okay."
They all entered slowly and with trepidation. Michelle and AJ turned in their seats and
stood up cautiously. Kevin was the
first to move towards them. He engulfed
Michelle in a hug and then looked down at her, running his fingers lightly over
the small bandage on her forehead.
"You okay?" he asked softly.
She nodded and pulled him back against her. "I'm so sorry, Kevin. I didn't mean to cause so much grief,"
she whispered.
He squeezed her lightly and said, "I love you
and everything is going to be okay."
He let go and moved over to hug AJ.
"You okay, Bone?" AJ
returned his hug hesitantly, nodded and gave him a slight smile.
Howie went to Michelle next, tears filling his eyes
as he hugged her. She clung to him and
cried. Jack came towards them and
guided them to the sofa along the left wall.
They stood before it, in each other's arms for several moments,
oblivious to their friends in the room.
Jack walked back to Brian and Nick who were
hesitating by the door. He pulled them
in gently and closed the door behind them.
Kevin sat in the chair Michelle had vacated, next to AJ. Nick and Brian leaned against the right
wall.
Michelle and Howie finally broke apart and sat
gingerly on the sofa. Howie grabbed her
left hand and gave her a slight smile, before turning his head towards AJ. He looked at him momentarily, feeling AJ's
remorse. Howie nodded slightly to him
and said, "Ok, Bone, talk to us."
AJ took a deep breath and started talking, directly
to Howie, "It started a few days ago.
I couldn't get Deanna out of my head." He paused and shook his
head, "I kept picturing her being all alone, struggling with her thoughts
and. . . I looked out into the sea of
faces at the show last night and watched the fans freaking out, happy and
having a great time. As I danced and
sang all I kept thinking was that the same time last year, my best friend was
killing herself while I jumped around on a stage before thousands of happy
people," he gasped out a small sob and turned his eyes to the ceiling,
"I flew out of the venue the second the show was done and jumped into a
cab. I couldn't think straight. I just knew I had to get away from all that. After a couple of hours of just driving
around, I finally had the cab driver bring me all the way here from Miami. I got in about four this morning, I
think." He paused, crushed out his cigarette and took another deep breath.
"I just sat and looked at pictures and home videos of her from the past
three years. I cried like a freakin’
baby for hours. I'd been drinking the
whole time and must have passed out.
When I woke up about six tonight, I was so numb. I went into the studio and played some old
songs Deanna loved. I called Michelle,
hoping she'd come over to cry with me and make me feel better. She was always able to talk me out of my
sorrows," he turned to Michelle and looked at her with love and gratitude,
then guilt, "I swear Michelle, when I called you, I had no bad intentions,
I just wanted you with me." He reached over, grabbed her hand and looked
at her with tears sliding down his face.
Michelle stared back at him, tears spilling from her eyes and nodded
slightly.
Nick's eyes were cast down to the floor, his arms
folded over his chest, his blonde hair hanging over his face, remembering
Deanna. Brian had sunk down along the
wall, his hands holding his knees tight against him, looking up at the ceiling,
aching for AJ. Kevin lifted his head
from his hands, turned to AJ and placed an arm around his shoulders for
support. Howie moved slowly to the
edge of the couch and firmly placed his hand over AJ's and Michelle's.
"Bone, we know you'd never hurt anyone on
purpose, least of all Michelle."
AJ shot him a grateful look, "What next?" Howie asked.
AJ pulled his hand away from them, stood up, walked
a few steps towards Jack and then turned back around to his friends. With his hands covering his eyes, he
continued.
"The cd we all made with Kimberly and Michelle
a while ago must have been in the player, because it suddenly came on and kind
of threw me for a loop. I listened to
it for a while and about half way through, I got really pissed off, remembering
how much fun we had that day. I
remember thinking that Deanna would never have fun like that again, but
Michelle still could, cause she was saved.
I got so damn mad thinking about Kevin and Michelle and them trying to
kill themselves. I flew into a rage and
started kicking and hitting everything I could. When I finally tired out, I sat at the piano and cried. That's when Michelle came in, I
guess." He stopped and looked up
at everyone. They all were staring at
him with tears rolling down their faces.
Kevin jumped up and grabbed him fiercely, hugging him so tight. "Jesus, AJ, why didn't I insist you
talk to Jack sooner. Fucking christ, I
should have known!"
Jack moved over to them and drew them apart. "Don't start blaming yourself,
Kevin. You can't force someone to seek
help if they aren't ready."
Kevin nodded and Jack eased them back into their
seats. "Go on, AJ."
Bent over, with his head in his hands, AJ
continued, "When I felt Michelle's arms go around me, I just snapped and
said so many horrible things." He
looked up and turned to her. "I swear I didn't mean them. I was just confused. Deanna and I never had a sexual
relationship. She had said that she
loved our friendship too much to complicate it and potentially ruin it. I was hurt by that, but never told her. Memories of when we first met you flew into
my head and all I could think of was that I had wanted you from the very
beginning and you had said the same thing to me. That you didn't want to ruin our friendship with sex. Well, I got so mad because you'd slept with
Kevin and Howie. . . "
"KEVIN?"
Both Nick and Brian looked over at him in shock, then looked at Kevin
sharply. Kevin shot them a dark look
and shook his head.
AJ continued, "I had thought that maybe if
Deanna and I had been more intimate, I'd have known she needed my help. I confused those thoughts with you and
something inside of me decided that I wasn't going to let you get away with the
just friends crap." He dropped out of his seat and kneeled before Howie
and Michelle. "I'm sorry, I really
am. I swear I haven't even thought of
you in that way since Key West. I
respect you and Howie and your relationship totally. I never ever wanted to come between you." He finished by whispering, "I'm
sorry!"
Everyone was deathly quiet, watching AJ and
Michelle. Michelle leaned forwards and
wrapped her arms around AJ's shoulders and cradled him against her.
"It's okay, AJ, I know you're sorry and I know
you didn't mean it. It's okay,"
Howie looked down at his friend and grabbed his
shoulder, "Bone, I'm sorry too. I
wish I was there for you."
CHAPTER THIRTY
FIVE
After a couple minutes of nothing but slight
sniffles and short gasps for breath from everyone, Jack stood up and walked
towards them.
"Michelle," he said quietly causing her
to pull away from AJ and look up at him. "Ready? You need to explain your
reactions." Michelle stared at him
wide eyed.
AJ was watching her and felt his heart
tighten. "NO! God, she's been through enough! Just leave her alone. She doesn't need to explain anything, she
was just being a great friend to me."
He stood up and pulled her up with him.
"She's had enough!"
Jack moved towards them, but Michelle stopped
him. She looked at AJ thankfully and
smiled slightly. Then she looked down
towards Howie, who had tears and questions in his eyes. She let out a small sob while turning back
to AJ and placing her hands on his chest.
"AJ, I need to. I need Howie to know why I did it." She pushed him back gently and sat down
facing Howie. "Howie, after I tell
you this, I don't expect you to love me anymore and I won't blame you. I've never meant to hurt you or hide
anything from you." She paused and closed her eyes.
Howie watched her, holding his breath, fearful of
what she was going to say.
"When I was sixteen I had my first real
boyfriend and lost my virginity to him.
I was naďve, young, feeling unloved.
We had unprotected sex numerous times out of stupidity and I eventually
got pregnant." She spoke softly, afraid to continue, "It was pure
hell. My mother found out and took me
to a clinic. At first I planned on
keeping the baby. I really did! I thought I was in love with Brad - that was
his name. But, after a few weeks the
stress got unbearable. Everyone was so
uptight. Brad and I barely spoke to
each other and when we did it was hateful and hurtful. One day my mother and I finally clashed and
threw out all our frustrations at each other; and I just decided to get rid of
the baby on the spur of the moment. We
felt a great deal of tension and hatred leave ourselves. I aborted it." She slowly opened her
eyes to look at him.
Howie listened to her, his heart breaking even more
for her. <I>Why does she think this
will make me hate her? God, it was over
twelve years ago. I love her so
much! Doesn't she realize it? Why can’t she see how much I love
her?</I>
Michelle closed her eyes again, the pain in Howie's
eyes making her realize she was right. <I>He does hate me now!</I>
Drawing on all the strength she could muster, she
continued, "A year later I met Rob.
I went a lot slower with him, but ended up getting pregnant again. I was so stupid. You'd think I'd have learned my lesson the first time
around. The only good thing was that
Rob married me and promised me that we'd have a wonderful happy family life
together. I believed him. . . And then, last fall I met you guys and the
very first night I slept with Kevin.
Two days later I slept with you.
I've never regretted any of them, except for Brad of course. Oh, Howie, I've loved AJ since the first day
I met him. Not in love with him, but I
still love him like crazy. When he was
shouting at me earlier, saying those things to me, I believed him." She
looked up at Howie briefly, but the tears streaming down his face wrenched her
heart and she had to look away.
"Based on my past and the fact that he knew how quickly I slept
with you and Kevin, I figured he had every right to say what he did and that I
owed him. I'm sorry. . . " She couldn't go on, full of shame and
remorse.
Everyone remained silent, crying inwardly for AJ,
Michelle and now Howie. Howie
continued to stare at her, but not out of hate. <I>If anything I love her even more.
Why didn't I let her tell me all this in the beginning. What a fucking idiot I am. God, maybe I could have saved her from all
this pain!</I> He jumped up quickly and ran from the room.
Michelle flinched at his sudden departure and
dissolved into heart wrenching sobs on the couch. Kevin ran over to her, shouting at the others to go after
Howie. He pulled Michelle into his arms
and comforted her the best he could.
"I knew it! I knew he'd hate me! Oh God!" Michelle wailed. Jack moved to the door and stared out
pensively, slightly taken aback at Howie's reaction.
Fifteen minutes later, Brian returned and spoke
quietly to Jack. "He's outside with Nick and AJ. He's sort of calm but, I don't know. . . Said he just needs to think about things and
to tell Michelle he does love her." Brian shrugged helplessly. Jack looked at him with compassion as he
placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Thanks, Brian. Why don't you guys take him home? Do me a favor though?" Brian nodded, "Stay with
them."
Brian left and Jack walked over to Kevin who was
cradling Michelle against his chest.
Michelle had cried herself to sleep.
He relayed what Brian had said and then, "Take her home, Kevin. I seriously doubt any of you can handle any
more of this tonight. Here's a few tranquilizers. Give her one if you feel it necessary -
should help her sleep." Kevin
picked up Michelle and then walked side by side with Jack to the elevator.
"Call me in the morning and we'll schedule
appointments for Monday. But if you
need me at all before then, I'll come over, ok?" Jack said while hitting
the elevator button.
It was almost 1:30 a.m. by the time Kevin got
Michelle back to his house. He couldn't
take her to Howie's, he didn't know if Howie wanted her there right now. He couldn't take her to her house, what if
Kimberly came home? After he got her
settled into bed in one of the guest rooms, he called AJ and Howie’s house.
“Nick? Hey man, what’s going on over there? What’s up with Howie? How’s AJ?” Kevin asked quickly, while dropping
onto a chair.
“Kevin, slow down.
Howie has said nothing since the hospital. He came home and went right up to his room. He won’t talk to any of us. AJ is basically camped out by his door
waiting for him. Damn, Kev, this is a
freaking mess!” Nick paced back and forth through the kitchen as he spoke,
nervously running a hand through his hair.
“I know, Nick.
Ah, listen, I know we’ve got some explaining to do to you and Brian, but
we’ll leave it for another day. Please
don't say anything to the girls about that, ok? I’m so freakin’ beat and I don’t want to leave her alone, so
I’ll talk to you in the morning. And,
ah, Telly mentioned that the girls were all planning on coming here first thing
tomorrow to plan a welcome home thing for us.
Do me a favor and call Patti and Lauren and tell them not to come
over. I don’t know what AJ wants Patti
to know, so I guess you should talk to him first, ok?” Kevin locked up the house and shut lights
off as he talked to Nick.
“Ok, I’ll do whatever I can. But, what do we do in the meantime? I mean, AJ can’t sit outside of Howie’s room
all night and Howie needs to get things off his mind, you know?”
“Fuck, Nick, I don’t know anymore. Just you and Brian keep an eye on them and
try to get AJ into his own room. If
Howie does come out, tell him to call me.”
Kevin ended the conversation and went back to the guest room.
Michelle was lying in the bed, awake, but not
moving. She heard Kevin enter and
watched him walk slowly towards her.
“You’re up?” he asked quietly.
“Yeah - Kevin?” she shifted on the bed so she was
facing him.
“Yeah?”
“Would you mind just holding me?” she said it so
softly he almost didn’t make it out. He
shed his pants and shirt and climbed on the bed, lying down beside her and
pulling her into his arms. She rested
her head against his chest and listened to his heart beating for several
minutes before speaking.
“I want you to know that I really appreciate you
being here for me, but I think this time you ought to be with Howie. He’s one of your best friends and I’m sure
he needs you now.” She kept her gaze
down at his chest as he held her.
“You know Howie, babe. He needs to think things over, alone, before he’s ready to talk
to anyone. Nick, Brian and AJ are with
him now and he won’t even talk to them.”
He softly kissed the top of her head and gently rubbed her back.
“Why did all this have to happen? Did you know he asked me and Kim to move in
with him and AJ last night? God, this day started out so perfectly. The sun was shining gloriously, everyone was
in ecstatic moods. All I kept thinking
about all day long was that in less than twenty-four hours I’d be in his arms
again, telling him how much I loved him.
Now look, it’s all ruined.” She was remarkably calm, “I told you and
Nick months ago that he would hate me for my past.”
He pulled away to look into her eyes, “Babe, he
doesn’t hate you. At the hospital he
told Brian to tell you he still loved you.
Just give him a little time to absorb everything that happened
tonight. It’s been one hell of a
day. All of us were worried sick Friday
night when AJ took off and we spent all day today worrying about him, calling
him and rearranging things so we could get back here. Howie was almost out of his mind that his best friend was gone
and he didn’t know where. We all knew
why, but by then it was too late.”
Kevin’s voice broke slightly and he turned his face towards the pillow. She lightly kissed his neck and hugged him
tighter. They both fell asleep soon
thereafter without speaking again.
CHAPTER THIRTY
SIX
Howie heard the others banging against his door and
pleading with him to open up. He heard
AJ begging him to let him in and talk to him.
Instead, he remained in the easy chair for hours, by the windows, in the
darkened room, staring out until the sun slowly made its first appearance.
****************************
Michelle awoke at 5:00 a.m. and quietly slipped out
of the bed being careful not to wake up Kevin. She stood watching him sleep for several moments before leaving
the room.
<I>Dear
Kevin,
I’m sorry to have
caused so much grief for everyone. I need to get away from all this and figure
out where to go from here. Please don’t
hate me for leaving Kimberly with you.
I know you’ll take good care of her.
I love her so much, but I can’t let her see me like this. I promised her I’d always be there for her,
but I just can’t right now. I beg you
to tell her that I’m not going off to kill myself, because I’m not. I have to grieve over my loss of Howie and
you on my own. Don’t worry. Tell
everyone I will always love them.
I love you so
much,
Michelle</I>
*******************************
Kevin woke up with a start and bolted out of the
bed, looking around frantically. <I>Where
is she? Oh God, help me.</I>
*****************************
AJ slowly pulled himself up from the floor outside
Howie’s bedroom door. He looked at the
white wood morosely and placed his palms against it. “Please?” he pushed himself away and walked slowly to his own
room.
******************************
Michelle put the pen down slowly and then burst
into tears. <I> I can’t do
this. I can’t run away from them. God, how can I even think of abandoning
Kimberly? Oh, my sweet Howie, how the
hell do I go on without him? I lose
Howie, I lose Kevin too.</I>-
****************************
Howie eased himself out his chair and smiled
slightly while stretching. He walked
into the bathroom and turned the shower on full force. He removed his clothing slowly, folding each
article neatly and placing them on the vanity.
He climbed into the shower and moved under the steady stream of hot
water while gently reaching for the razor.
*****************************
Michelle eased herself off the chair and stared
down at her note. She ran her hands
over her face removing the wetness left from her tears and heaved a great
sigh. The note was suddenly pulled off
the table and she flew around to face Kevin.
“What’s this?” he asked harshly.
“Nothing, I was just about to throw it away,” she
said watching his eyes darken. “Relax,
Kevin, I’m not going. I can’t. I don’t know what to do, but I can’t leave
Kimberly, even with you. I've got to
deal with this calmly somehow and set things right again.” She walked around him to the kitchen sink
and turned the cold water on. “Do you
really think Howie still loves me or did he just say that out of habit?” She grabbed the kettle off the stove and
filled it half way, before turning to Kevin.
He was leaning against the counter, reading her
note over and over. “Why’d you write
this? You were gonna just leave without
even telling me?”
“I was. But
once the words were out, I realized I couldn’t. Kevin, come on, I wouldn’t be standing here if I didn’t have
second thoughts about it. Yes, my first
reaction was to run, yours would be too, I’m sure. But I won’t do that to Kimberly again.”
“That’s just great! What about me? Or Howie?
Are we not even part of your decision?
Do you not care about how I’d feel if you were gone?” He looked at her evenly as he tore the
envelope in two and flung it to the floor.
****************************
AJ walked out of his bathroom and straight into the
closet. He pulled on the first pair of
jeans he saw. As he reached back over
for a shirt, his eye caught sight of Howie standing at the doorway, causing him
to jump backwards.
“D? You scared the shit out of me!” he rasped.
Howie laughed at his friend’s expression, “Bone, I
need you to do me a favor.”
****************************
Kimberly awoke early and crawled out of bed,
slightly confused about where she was.
She crept from the guest room and peeked her head into Telly’s
bedroom. Seeing she was still sound
asleep, she quietly shut the door and went into the living room. With a wide yawn, she turned the television
on and flicked the channels until she landed on MTV. She listened attentively and then grabbed the phone next to the
couch.
“Hello? Nick? What’s going on? Why are you at
Howie’s house? I just saw MTV and they said your last concert was canceled and
that someone was sick?” Kim sat rigidly
on the couch, nervously chewing on her thumbnail, sensing something bad had
happened.
“Um, hi kiddo, hang on a sec?” A groggy Nick placed
her on hold and stumbled towards the stairs.
Howie and AJ were just descending and stopped when they saw Nick’s face.
“Nicky, what’s the matter with you?” asked a
smiling Howie.
“D? Ah, Kim’s on the phone and she knows we didn’t
do the last show. Heard it on MTV. What are we suppose to tell her?” Nick held out the phone to them, silently
begging one of them to take it.
“Does she know Michelle came here for AJ last
night?” asked Howie uncertainly.
“I don’t know, possibly. I’m sure Michelle must have said something to her when she took
her to Telly’s,” replied Nick.
“Just tell her I had a case of food poisoning or
something and came home early. Don’t
get into details though,” said AJ taking the phone from Nick and passing it to
Howie.
“Me? Just great!
Ok.” Howie took the phone,
clicked the hold button and said, “Hey, sweetie? How are you?”
“Howie?
What’s wrong? Who’s sick? And
isn’t my mom there?” Kim was walking towards Telly’s room to wake her up.
“Ah, no big deal really. AJ came down with severe stomach aches from something he ate, so
we sent him home early and the rest of us decided we wanted to come home
too. Don’t worry though, everything’s
fine. Um, your mom is still
sleeping. She was up late taking care
of him.” Howie was hoping Kim didn’t hear the uncertainty in his voice.
“Oh, okay, then.
I was scared for a minute there.
But, if AJ was so sick, why didn’t he call Auntie Patti?” She turned
back around and flopped onto the couch, flicking to the Disney channel instead.
“Patti? Well, she wasn’t home when he called, so I
guess he couldn’t ask her. Anyway,
how’s everything with you? I've missed
you, Silly Goose. We know you guys were
hoping to plan something today to welcome us home, but we’ll do something tonight
instead, ok?” Howie looked at AJ and
Nick and shrugged his shoulders.
“Ok, Howie.
I’ll see you later, and I’ve really missed you guys!” Kim hung up the
phone happily.
“That was close!
We better call Kevin and get all our stories straight.” Nick said as he
headed back to a spare room. “I need
more sleep! And Howie, call Kevin!”
CHAPTER THIRTY
SEVEN
.
“Oh, Kevin, of course I care about your
feelings! How can you even say
that? I love you guys more than you
know and I never want to lose you. I’m
just scared that if Howie and I are over, then I will lose you too and I can’t
fathom that.” She walked towards him and placed a hand on his arm, “I'm scared
my wonderful life, that you have helped create, is falling apart. I owe virtually all of my happiness to you
and Howie and the others. Please don't
be mad at me, I can't take that." She pulled him over to the table and
into a chair. She stood behind him and
wrapped her arms around his shoulders.
"Don't you realize, that it's you that has given me the strength to
stay? All these months you've been my
rock, the person I share my thoughts and feelings with. The one who has helped me overcome so much
heartache and guilt and fear. If not
for you…" Her last words were barely audible as an overwhelming sob
escaped from her throat.
Kevin closed his eyes and absorbed her words
slowly. Turning in his seat, he pulled
her down onto his lap and forced her eyes to meet his. "I'm sorry. . . don't cry.
I'm scared too, that's why I snapped at you. You've been my rock too and I can't help but fear how life would
be without you in it anymore. No one
understands me the way you do. I'll
always be here for you, Howie or no Howie." He crushed her against him, as
the kettle began its slow whining cry.
"Now, turn that fucking thing off and let's go back to bed. It's inhumane to be up this early."
***********************
A couple hours later AJ hung up the phone
slowly. He pensively walked out to the
back patio towards Howie.
"How'd it go?" Howie asked pushing a cup
towards AJ.
"Well, I'm not totally sure. She's concerned and confused naturally. Do you think I did the right thing telling
her everything except. . . you know?"
AJ sat in the chair across from him and took a large sip. "Christ, this isn't coffee! What are you trying to do D, punish
me?" He grimaced at the tea and put the cup back on the table.
Howie chuckled at him. "Don't be so dramatic,
Bone. Tea is very soothing. And as for your question, yes. We already discussed this, AJ. We agreed that if Patti ever finds out it
will only be because Michelle tells her.
We can't be the ones to destroy their relationship, especially you. You're the one that got them back
together." Howie looked at AJ authoritatively.
AJ blanched at Howie's look. "Ok, I just needed reassurance. You
talk to Kevin?"
Howie nodded, "It's all set. He's taking Michelle to her house in a
couple of hours, so she can change her clothes. Telly and Lauren are keeping Kim occupied for most of the day. Brian and Nick will stay here and make sure
everything is ready for later." Howie turned his gaze to the shimmering
water of the pool and took a deep breath.
"This better work though!"
************************
Patti carefully replaced the phone into its
receiver while climbing out of her huge bed slowly, and then stumbled towards
the bathroom. As soon as she pushed
open the door, the nausea overwhelmed her and she dropped to her knees,
retching violently. After several
moments, she stood up carefully and flushed the toilet. She mindlessly reached for a washcloth and
ran it under the cold water while staring at her white face in the mirror. "Ohhh, God, not now!"
************************
Michelle unlocked her front door and gently pushed
it open, pausing at the thresh hold.
Kevin nudged her forwards sensing her hesitation. "What is it?"
She looked over her shoulder at him and forced a
small smile. "Yesterday, this
house was filled with happiness. Today.
. . I feel. . . nothing." She turned
her head away from him and walked down the hall, her eyes filling with tears
once again. She entered the living room
and carelessly dropped her handbag on the floor before crumbling onto the
couch. Kevin closed the door behind him
and walked towards her. The sight of
her curled up on the couch, with her head buried in her hands, sent a shiver
through him. He wanted to tell her that
Howie was on his way, but had been sworn to secrecy. He walked over to her and pulled her up into a sitting position.
"Kevin, please, leave me be. I just want to sleep all day and not
think." She tried to pull back but his large hands held firmly to her
shoulders.
"NO!
Come on!" He pulled her up and led her upstairs to her bedroom at
the back. She walked in begrudgingly
and headed towards her bed. Kevin
stopped her and turned her in the direction of her bathroom. "Go!" She groaned loudly at him
and shot him at mad look.
"What the hell? Why are you being so freaking
pushy?" She stopped at the door and turned back to look at him. The grin on his face caught her by surprise
and she looked at him shrewdly.
"What are you grinning at?"
He laughed out loud and turned her back around,
pushing her into the bathroom.
"Just get your ass in the shower and stop being a miserable
mope. I've got things under
control."
She looked at him puzzled. "What do you mean you have things under
control? What the hell are you talking
about?"
He laughed harder at her expression. "Go now! Get yourself all prettied up and I'll be back in half an
hour. We've got things to
do." With that he pulled the door
closed on her and headed back out to the living room, pulling his cell phone
from his pocket and punching in a number.
"D! All set at this end."
Michelle stared at the closed door for a few
seconds before flipping the light switch on and grimacing at her appearance in
the mirror. <I>God, I look like
shit. Now I understand why he forced me
in here.</I>
***********************
AJ pulled his car into the driveway behind Kevin's
truck, pulling the trunk latch before hopping out. Howie climbed out of the passenger seat with a mixture of
excitement, anticipation and fear. They
met at the back of the car and proceeded to pull out several bags.
The front door was pulled open and Kevin strolled
towards them. "Hey guys! Glad to see you." He embraced each of them briefly; a feeling
of relief overwhelming him.
"Kevin, thanks for all your help
yesterday. I'm sorry again for taking
off last night, I just needed to gather my thoughts," Howie said
shyly. Kevin grinned at him and took
one of the bags into his hand before leading them into the house.
Quietly they set about unloading the bags and
putting the contents in their proper places.
AJ strolled into the living room and selected a variety of CD's. He brought them back to Howie and said,
"These should do the job."
Howie looked at the selection and smiled broadly.
Kevin finished in the kitchen and walked towards
them pointing at his watch. "Bone,
we better get out of here." AJ
nodded his head and turned back to Howie with a look of hope.
"No matter what happens today Howie, I want
you to know you've been the best friend I ever could have asked for. I'm really sorry I've put you in this
situation and I'd give up everything right now to make it all go away."
Howie watched him with compassion. "AJ, you don't realize what you've done
for me. You've given me the push in the
right direction, you know? You've made me realize I can't lose her." He pulled AJ towards him and hugged him
tightly. "Thanks. . . and thanks for pulling all this together for
me this morning."
AJ nodded with tears in his eyes and walked out the
door. Howie turned to Kevin and clasped
his shoulder. "Ok, Train, this is
it. Wish me luck."
Kevin smiled broadly at him and covered his hand
with his own, "You don't need it, D.
You've had it for the last six months.
We'll see you in eight hours."
He released him and walked out the door, closing it quietly behind him.
CHAPTER THIRTY
EIGHT
Michelle finished blow drying her hair and added a
touch more eye liner before tightening the sash of her short black satin robe
and pulling open the bathroom door.
Her eyes grew large in surprise when she saw him
leaning against the closed bedroom door, with a single red rose held loosely in
his hand.
He smiled tentatively at her as he slowly closed
the distance between them.
"Howie?" she whispered overcome with
emotion. <I>He's here! Oh god, he's so beautiful.</I>
********************
AJ swung his car into the parking garage and
removed his sunglasses automatically, while searching for a vacant spot. He found one near the elevators and smoothly
slid the vehicle into place. Once in
the elevator he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the shiny gold plating of
the doors. He adjusted his backwards
cap and slid his glasses back on, while inhaling the fragrant scent of the
dozen tulips in his hand. <I>Please
don't let her turn me away.</I>
Upon reaching the tenth floor, the doors slid
quietly apart and he took a deep breath before exiting and walking to her
apartment. He unlocked the door and
quietly entered. The room was dim, the
blinds still closed. He looked around
cautiously and headed to the bedroom door.
"Babe? You in here?" he asked
quietly. Hearing no response he entered
the room briskly and peered around while removing his glasses once again,
catching sight of her sitting at the end of the bed. "Patti? What's wrong, baby?
You're still in bed?"
He sat next to her and caught her hands in
his. They were cold. She looked up at him then, shimmering tears
glazing her blue eyes. "AJ? I. . .
I'm sorry I didn't hear you come in."
She eased off the bed and headed towards the bathroom once again. "I'll be right out." Her tone was
hushed and subdued.
He laid the bouquet of tulips on the bed and
followed her; concern covering his face.
"Babe, is this because of what I did yesterday?" He touched her shoulder and felt the
clamminess through her thin shirt.
"Patti? Are you sick?"
He turned her towards him and looked at her pale features.
She shrugged her thin shoulders slightly and looked
up to his eyes. His beautiful brown
eyes, flanked by his long black lashes caught her breath. <I>How can I do this to him?</I>
"AJ, I'm sorry, but I've decided we need to
move on. . . I can't see you anymore." Her voice was soft, on the verge of
breaking.
"NO!
Patti, please! I explained
everything to you this morning. We're
getting through this. Howie has
forgiven me for my actions. Michelle
did too. . . I thought you understood this?" The agony on his face caused
her heart to tighten.
"AJ, it's not about last night, it's about
me. I. . . I can't tie you down. You have too much ahead of you. You are an extremely talented man and you'll
become even more famous as time goes on.
I can't hold you back." The confusion on his face made her sigh,
"AJ, I'm pregnant!"
**********************
His eyes locked with hers as he stood before her,
holding the flower out to her. She
looked at it longingly and slowly reached for it. Her fingers graced his ever so lightly, but the shiver that ran
through her took her breath away. Her
eyes flew back to his begging him to say something.
"I didn't run off last night because I hated
you. I ran because I loved you so much and I couldn't watch you in such pain
anymore. I'm sorry I didn't let you
tell me everything you wanted to in the beginning. If I had, I could have spared you so much pain and guilt."
He sank to his knees before her and gently grasped her left hand, "I've
never loved anyone as much as I love you, Michelle. I don't want to ever love anyone but you. I don't want to live my life without you in
it." The tears were streaming down her face as she listened to him
incredulously. "Marry me!"
She released a sob, the rose falling from her hand
as she sank down before him, pulling his hand up to her lips. "Oh, Howie. . . I love you so
much!" She threw her arms around his shoulders and clung to him
desperately. He gathered her in his
arms, running his hands through her hair and over her back.
"Is that a yes?" he asked holding his
breath.
"Yessssssss!" she replied laughing and
crying at the same time.
**********************
AJ stared incredulously at Patti and then pulled
her against his chest. “God, Patti, are
you sure?”
She nodded her head and sniffled. “I’m sorry.”
AJ wrapped her firmly in his arms and groaned
hoarsely. “Oh, baby, don’t be sorry! I love you!”
Patti pulled her head away from his chest to look
into his eyes. He looked down at her
and brought his hands up to cup her face, lightly rubbing his thumbs beneath
her eyes.
“I know we haven’t been together all that long, but
I do love you! I want this child. I want to love you and our baby
forever! Please Patti! Say you’ll let me stay, promise me I can
have you for all eternity!”
She released a small sob and pulled his head down
towards hers. “AJ, oh god, I never
expected this! I love you too, but I
never expected you to want me, or a baby.
You’re still so young and have so much ahead of you. I don’t want to stand in your way of making
all your dreams come true.”
“I’ve been an incredibly lucky man, all my dreams
have come true so far!” he replied hoarsely as he brought his lips down onto
hers. She gasped and pushed her mouth
against his passionately, reeling from
the force of his kiss. She raised her
hands to his chest and clung to his shirt as she plunged her velvety tongue
into his hot mouth. “Oh, baby!” she
moaned moving her hands to his waist.
He responded by wrapping her tight in his arms and
leading her over to the bed. He sank
onto it and spread his legs, pulling her between them and grasping her
hands. “I love you."
He looked up into her smoldering blue eyes, and
softly began singing to her:
Wise men say
only fools rush in
but I can't help
falling in love with you
Shall I stay
would it be a sin
If I can't help
falling in love with you
Like a river flows
surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
some things are meant to be
Take my hand,
take my whole life too
for I can't help
falling in love with you
for I can't help falling in love
with you
for I can't help falling in love
with you
(Can't Help Falling in
Love - (words & music by George Weiss - Hugo Peretti - Luigi Creatore)
CHAPTER THIRTY
NINE
Howie released a small cry of relief as his lips
frantically sought hers. He crushed her
to him and kissed her with all his heart and soul. She moaned huskily against his mouth, her body suddenly warm and
tingling all over. She fervently
returned his kiss, digging her fingers into the back of his neck.
"Oh Howie, I love you so much!" she cried
as his lips moved down to her neck. He
responded by lavishly sucking and licking her neck. He pulled away quickly, breathing heavily and snatched the fallen
rose from the carpet. "Come with
me," he murmured pulling her up and leading her over to the bed.
He gently pushed her down onto her back and
straddled her hips while tantalizingly running the delicate rose lightly over
the base of her throat. Her hands
automatically reached for his face. He
obliged her and fell easily across her and found her succulent lips once
again. She slowly trailed her hands
down to his chest but the weight of him on top of her prevented her from going
any further. She gently pushed him back
and her fingers flew to the buttons of his shirt. Within seconds she had his broad tanned chest exposed and moaned
deeply. "Oh baby, I need you
inside me so bad!"
He flung the rose aside and allowed his hands to
roam across her chest, causing her nipples to harden and poke through the thin
fabric. He bent down and caught one
between his lips and sucked hungrily.
She moaned louder and arched her back slightly wanting more. His left hand covered her other breast and
squeezed it gently before sliding closer to the middle and parting her
robe. He raised his mouth only long
enough to push the fabric aside. His
lips latched onto her nipple once again and he drew his tongue around her light
brown bud.
Her warm hands stroked his sides and lowered
themselves to his waist. He pulled up
quickly and moved back slightly, allowing her to release the snap of his
jeans. His hands grabbed her shoulders
and he kissed her deeply while she lowered his zipper and plunged her hand into
his shorts. She encircled his rock hard
rod and squeezed gently.
He fell to the right side of her, never breaking
his kiss, as his hands quickly undid the sash of her robe, lightly grazing
across her abdomen. She pushed his
pants down quickly as far as she could and cried out of desire. He kicked them off urgently and then peeled
his shirt off with just as much expediency.
He drew the robe away from her body so that it lay beneath her, out of
his way.
Her hands flew to his exposed member, cupping his
testicles and stroking his length. He
groaned deeply as he moved himself higher on the bed, allowing her better
access. He closed his eyes, kneading
her breast and drew in his breath sharply as she squeezed and tugged him. She shifted her position quickly so that her
face was but a breath away from his beautiful prize. She flicked her tongue softly over the head and rubbed her thumb
lightly along his throbbing vein. His
hands entangled themselves in her hair, pushing her on. She drew the head of his cock into her mouth
and clamped her lips around it tightly, sucking and nibbling. She released him and drew her wet lips and
tongue up and down along the underside, applying pressure as she neared the
head each time.
He cried out hungrily as he twisted his body and
stretched out next to her, running his mouth down along her hips towards her
triangle. He leaned over her as she
continued to lavish extreme pleasure on his pulsating member. His tongue teasingly lapped through her
light pubic hair as his hands moved beneath her buttocks. She pushed her pelvis closer to him,
yearning for his touch. He spread her
legs and proceeded to blow lightly on her swelling clit, causing her to moan
and take more of his engorged cock into her mouth.
His hands kneaded her ass possessively as he sank
his tongue into her glistening canal.
She in turn sensually slid her hands over his sensitive ass as she
continued to run her tongue down and around his hardened balls. Within moments both were panting
heavily. Howie slid his thumb smoothly
into her and skillfully applied pressure to her most erotic zone. She cried out lustfully and released her
juices into his mouth.
“Howie, NOW!
Oh, please, baby, take me now!” she cried while pushing his ass
downwards. He quickly flipped his body
and scooted between her legs on his knees.
He pulled her ass up onto his thighs and plunged deeply into her wet
pussy. Her fingers encircled his wrists
as he held her hips, while he fucked her hard and fast.
“Oh, baby, I can’t wait, I need to explode in you
NOW!” screamed Howie while grasping her hands beneath his and filling her with
his hot seed.
****************************
Kevin walked around the side of Telly’s house and
let himself in through the back door.
Kimberly was sitting at the counter, eating cereal and singing along to
a Steps song on the radio. He walked
quietly up behind her and grabbed her around her waist while tickling her neck
with his goatee.
She jumped a mile and her spoon flew out of her
hands, landing on the floor.
“Kevin! Why do you always do
that!” she asked loudly while grinning at him.
“Cause you always react the same way,” he laughed
back at her and grabbed her hand, “I missed you, Squirt! You been good?”
Kimberly rolled her eyes at him, “Aren’t I
always? I have no chance of being
anything else with all of you guys always around!”
Kevin laughed again while bending down to pick up the spoon and then sponging
up the droplets of milk. “Poor
baby! Where’s my woman?”
She giggled as she got off her stool and placed her
bowl in the sink. “She’s in her room.
Nick is coming over in a minute.
Brian and Lauren too. They said
we all have something important to do today,” she turned to him and looked at
him questioningly, “Do you know what it is?”
He nodded and smiled at her, “I swear you've grown
another inch in the last two weeks. We
have something extremely important to do today. . . We are planning a wedding!”
Kim looked at him sideways, then shrugged her
shoulders, “Oh, you mean Brian and Lauren? Well that’s nothing new. They’ve been talking about it so much for
the last seven weeks. . . ”
“Not Brian and Lauren,” he replied softly, guiding
her to the living room.
****************************
AJ gathered Patti in his arms after they made slow
passionate love with each other. “Will
you marry me, Patti?” he asked softly.
She remained silent for several moments before
meeting his eyes and stroking his face gently.
“Maybe some day, AJ, but not now, not because of this.”
AJ closed his eyes briefly to hide his pain. She ran her thumb over his brow, “Please,
baby, I do love you, but I don’t want to get married right now. Can’t we just see if this will work out
first? We’re both still so young and
don’t need to make a mistake like Michelle and Rob did.”
He looked back at her smiling slowly, “I
understand. . . and you’re right. I
just want you to know that you won’t be going through this alone. I do love you and I’ll be here every step of
the way.”
She smiled happily at him and wrapped her arms
around his shoulders. “I know you
will.”
CHAPTER FORTY
Howie and Michelle collapsed in each other’s arms,
breathing heavily. She placed soft warm
kisses all over his shoulder and neck, while he ran his hands lovingly across
her back.
“Oh, Howie, you are so incredible!”
“You are!”
“No, you are!” she said laughing and kissing his
face all over. “How ever did I manage
to get so lucky with you?”
He responded by groaning deeply and rolling back on
top of her. “I’m the lucky one, you
goof. Now shut up so I can get lucky
some more!”
His knee parted her legs gently as she captured his
lips and gasped when she felt his cock plunge into her again. “Oh god, you are amazing!” she said before
succumbing to the passion boiling inside.
*******************************
Kimberly looked inquiringly at Kevin and began to
question him when the doorbell rang.
“Saved by the bell,” Kevin said grinning as he
opened the door, “Hey Nick, how’s it going?”
Nick entered quickly and ran over to Kimberly. She smiled broadly at her best friend and
flung her arms around his shoulders as he picked her up and spun her
around. They both collapsed on the
couch laughing and tickling each other.
Telly entered the room and stood smiling at them,
before casting a desirable look at Kevin.
She walked slowly towards him into his open arms, “Hey baby, I’ve missed
you!” she said huskily before he crushed his lips down onto hers.
“Not as much as I missed you,” he finally responded
holding her tight.
“Ah, look at all the lovebirds!” Brian said coming
through the front door with Lauren on his back.
Lauren pinched his cheek and slid off him. “You’re such a little boy, Brian!”
"That's not what you were saying an hour
ago!" he whispered in her ear.
He cracked up at her blush and pulled Kimberly off
the couch and into his arms. “Hey you!
Miss me?”
Kim nodded her head before kissing his cheek and
hugging him tightly. “Of course, I missed
you. It’s been sooooo boring here
without you guys!”
“Hey! Are you saying we’re boring?” asked Telly as
she tucked her arm into Lauren’s and drew her towards the kitchen.
“Well, ah, no, but. . . ” Kim was blushing
slightly.
“It’s okay, I was just kidding! Who wants iced tea?”
**************************
“Come on, baby, we’ve got to get going. We have a lot of things to take care of
today and now we need to add baby clothes and junk to this list.”
“AJ! You goon.
We’ve got seven months to take care of that stuff. Today, we concentrate on Michelle and
Howie. You driving or am I?” Patti pulled several items from her closet and
eyed AJ questionably.
“No, the other one.” He said pointing to a short
red dress, “And, I’ll do the driving.
You’re a maniac behind the wheel!”
She laughed and ran over to him knocking him onto
the bed, “Maniac, eh? I’ll show you how
much of a maniac I am!” She straddled
his lap and ran her hands through his spiky hair.
He looked at her hungrily and slid his hands over
her breasts before diving into her mouth and groaning deeply. “You insatiable little minx!”
*****************************
Michelle exited the bathroom and was surprised to
find Howie gone. She drew her robe
tightly around her and walked into the hall, “Howie?”
“Down here, Beauty! Come on.”
She smiled happily and ran down the stairs
lightly. “Oh, my god, D! What did you do?” she looked around her
living room with wide eyes! Red and
white roses covered every available surface.
The stereo was quietly playing Otis Redding. The shades were drawn against the bright Florida morning. The coffee table had been cleared and now
was flanked by a dozen white candles, two china plates and crystal goblets.
She absorbed the entire scene with a shocked
expression before turning to him. The
smile on his face was priceless. She
couldn’t hold back and burst into tears.
She walked slowly towards him and let him draw her into his embrace.
“Oh baby, I love you. No one has ever treated me as wonderfully as you do. I love you so much and I swear I will never
hurt you again!” She clung to him and
reeled inwardly from the force of her feelings. “I promise you, Howie, I’ll never make you regret loving me
again.”
He buried his face in her hair and inhaled deeply
before pushing her back a bit. He
tilted her chin and kissed her lips lightly.
“I have never regretted loving you and I never will. And I swear I’ll never hurt you
either.” He empathized his vow with
another loving kiss and embrace. “Now,
let’s eat! I’m starving and honestly
can’t remember the last time I did eat!”
She laughed lightly at him, “How did you do all
this?” she asked as he pushed her gently back into the living room.
“Sit. AJ
and I were busy this morning and then Kevin helped us when we got here.”
“AJ was here?” she asked with concerned eyes before
sitting down on the couch, “Is he okay?
Did he seem okay?”
Howie sat gently next to her and held her hand
while brushing her hair away from her eyes, “Michelle, he’s okay. We’ve spent the last four hours together and
while he is still feeling really bad, he’s better. Don’t look so scared, sweetie.
You can see him later and talk to him, okay?”
She closed her eyes quickly to blink away the tears. “Okay, I really think we need to help him
with Deanna.”
Howie nodded and kissed her forehead before
standing up, “I’ll be right back and we’ll talk about it some more.” He returned moments later with a platter of
food. Michelle looked at it incredulously. “Howie, when did you cook all this?”
He laughed heartily as he served her, “I didn’t,
silly. It’s called ‘catering’. Kevin just unpacked it all for us and left
it warming in the oven. Now, eat!”
They ate slowly, feeding each other bits of food
and kissing the crumbs away. Howie
poured more champagne into each of their glasses before turning to her and
grasping her hands. “Michelle Jade Wyman, I love you more than life
itself. I promise to honor, protect,
cherish and love you for the rest of my days.” He brought her hands up to his
lips and kissed them gently while staring into her green eyes. She smiled beautifully at him and felt her
heart skipping a beat as he suddenly slid a ring onto her finger. She gasped at the beauty of the sapphire and
diamonds. Her eyes flew back up to his
and she was overcome with the love pouring from him.
“Howie, I promise to honor, protect, cherish and
love you for the rest of my days! I
love you more than words can say.” She leaned towards him and kissed his soft
lips gently. He smiled and kissed her
back.
“I’m glad you said that, cause we have a wedding to
go to today,” he said softly against her ear.
Michelle blinked her eyes and pulled back from him,
confusion written all over her face, “Huh, who’s getting married today?”
“We are. . . I can’t wait, Beauty.” He grinned
shyly at her, “I can’t let another day go by without you realizing how deep my
love really is. I don’t want you ever
to question my love again. Please, let
me do this my way. Let me marry you
today.”
Michelle stared back at him in shock, “Oh Howie, I
don’t know what to say. . . there is so much to say! First, thank you. Thank
you for loving me and for forgiving me.
I do so want to marry you, but we can’t do it this way! Aside from the fact that you need blood
tests and a license, I know that you’d want a big church wedding. I can’t ruin that for you. . . ”
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
Telly and Lauren returned to the living room and
passed out drinks before taking seats next to each other on a couch. Kevin looked from Nick to Brian and
indicated to Nick to break the news to Kimberly.
Nick turned to Kim, who was seated between him and
Brian, and ruffled her hair. “Kim,
we’re gathered here today. . . ”
Brian reached over and punched him lightly on the
shoulder, causing Nick to laugh uproariously.
“NICK!” Kevin looked at him with fierce eyes, “If
you can’t do it, then I will.”
Nick composed himself and shook his head, “Don’t
worry, Kev, I’m in control.” He faced
Kimberly again and looked into her confused eyes.
“Kim, Howie is asking your mom to marry him this
morning and if she says yes, then we are having a wedding tonight!” He beamed
at her briefly before noticing her eyes.
She looked at him incredulously and then shook her head.
“NO! You’re
a liar, Nick! I don’t believe you!” She
jumped up and walked quickly towards the hall.
Kevin caught her as she passed his chair. “Let me go! I’m not
listening to this crap. Let me go!”
Her outburst totally surprised everyone. Nick jumped up and watched her struggling to
remove Kevin’s hand from her arm. Telly
and Lauren glanced at each other quickly and saw the mutual concern.
Brian stared open-mouthed at Kimberly. “Kim!
What’s wrong with you? I don’t understand. . . ”
Kevin pulled her down onto the seat next to him and
hugged her shaking body, “Oh, baby, it’s okay.
Why are you so upset?” He looked
up at everyone and was glad to see he wasn’t the only confused one. “We thought you loved Howie. He loves your mom so much and will make her
very happy.”
Kimberly covered her ears with her hands, “NO! Don’t talk to me about this!” She yelled
before bursting into tears.
Kevin pulled her closer and stroked her light brown
hair. “Please. . . tell me what’s
wrong.” She didn’t respond so Nick came
forward and knelt down before her.
“Kim? Please tell us.” He asked gently pulling her hands away from her
head. She looked up at him and saw his
eyes glistening with tears.
“If she marries him . . . then he’ll be like my new
father and. . . when she divorces him. . . I’ll lose him, like I lost my real.
. . dad.” She gasped rapidly trying to get the words out.
***************************
Howie placed his finger against her lips and looked
deeply at her, “Nothing matters except you and me. I realized last night that no matter what our differences may be,
whether its religion, politics, morals, ethics or whatever, I love you for who you
are as a whole person. We may not believe
in all the same things, but that doesn’t stop us from loving each other, does
it?” She shook her head slowly, “We just continue to love and respect each
other and compromise like we have for the last six months and we’ll be fine.”
***************************
"Ok, I'm serious this time. Let's go!" shouted AJ from the front
door tossing his keys from one hand to the other.
"God, you are so impatient!" Patti said
as she exited the bedroom with a dress bag and a shoulder bag. "The least you could do is carry a
pregnant woman's bags!"
AJ eyed her thoughtfully. "Holy Shit! I'm going to be a father! This is totally unreal!" He laughed
then and grabbed her things. "Come
on, the best man and the maid of honor have lots to do."
They coasted along the highway, arguing over the
radio station. Patti wanted rap crap
and AJ wanted classic rock. They
compromised by sliding in a homemade CD containing both.
****************************
“Oh, Kimmie, no!
I swear that won’t happen. Howie
and your mom are so much in love. She
won’t divorce him just because she’s already been divorced once. It doesn’t work that way.” Nick watched Kimberly’s terrified face, “You
can’t think like that about your mom.
She had her reasons for divorcing your dad and it’s not her fault he
died. I’ve told you that before,
remember?” Everyone looked up at Nick
shocked.
“Nick,” hissed Kevin, “What are you talking about?”
Kimberly cast her eyes down to the floor and leaned
heavily against Kevin while Nick quietly spoke, “Kim confided in me before, how
she sometimes thinks it was her mother’s fault that her father died, that
perhaps if she had stayed married to him, he would have quit drinking and they
would have all lived happily ever after.”
Kevin felt his heart lurch for the young girl, “Oh
Kim, I’m sorry, we didn’t know that’s how you felt.”
She pulled away from him and stood up quickly,
“It’s not. . . well, not all the time, just sometimes. I know deep inside it’s not her fault, but
sometimes I can’t help thinking that way.” She sniffled and walked quickly down
the hall to the back door.
************************
Michelle gazed upon him with wonderment. "Howie, I understand what you're
saying. But, what about your
family? Your mother will be so
disappointed. . . "
"Michelle, please, listen to me. I want it to be today! Just us, Kimberly, the guys and a few
others. We can always have a second
ceremony with everyone else," he hugged her to him tightly, "Please.
. . I'm begging you. . ."
"Oh Howie," she ached deeply for
him. <I>How can I say no to him? He's
been so forgiving. How can he be this
good? How can he love me this
much?</I>
She pulled away and kissed him lightly, "Are
you sure?" she asked quietly. He nodded. She nodded her acceptance.
"YES!" he pulled her up quickly and
danced her around the room, laughing and crying. She laughed and cried along with him. Howie ran over to the phone and dialed quickly, “She said
yes! We’re on!”
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
Everyone looked at each other, at a loss for words.
"Oh no! Nick, why didn't you tell us she was
feeling like this?" Kevin asked him while standing slowly, rubbing a hand
through his hair.
Nick tore his eyes away from the hall and looked at
them with frightened eyes. "Kev,
it was only once that we talked about it.
A few months ago. Damn it, I
thought she was over it," he watched Brian get up and walk down the hall,
"Brian?" Nick ran over to
join him.
They found Kim sitting outside with her back to the
house, cradling Telly's Shepard, Hildy.
"Kimmie?" Brian asked softly while
sitting down next to her, "You okay?"
She nodded her head, but when he turned her face to
his, he saw the tears streaming down her pink cheeks. He pulled her into his arms.
"Don't cry, sweetie. You'll make me cry," he rubbed her arm and patted her back.
Nick sat on the other side of her and scratched the
dog behind its ear. "Kim, don't
you want your mom to be happy?"
She shrugged her shoulders and sighed, "Yeah,
I do, but. . ."
"But, what?"
She looked up at Nick with confused eyes, "Ok,
I get it that it wasn’t her fault my dad died, but I do still miss him, you
know? And, I know she's Howie's
girlfriend, but, I sort of thought Kevin would end up being the one, you know?
I just don't get it." She lovingly
stroked Hildy and then sighed into Brian's chest.
Nick and Brian looked up quickly at each other,
seeing the unanswered questions in each other's eyes.
"I do love Howie too. I really do, I’m just confused and
overwhelmed and. . . I'm sure she'll be
very happy," Kim said quietly after several moments.
Kimberly drew in a deep breath and looked up into
Nick’s eyes. “Nick?”
“Yeah?”
“You ready to let me kick your butt in Mario Cart?”
she smiled quickly before lowering her eyes to her hands. He laughed slightly and said yeah.
“Kim, does this mean you’re okay with the wedding?”
asked Kevin moving from the doorframe towards her and kneeling before her. His thoughts about what she said about him
being the one spiraling furiously around inside his head. “Cause, you have to be truthful and tell us
now. If you can’t accept it, then it’s
very important we know now.
Understand?”
Kim nodded. “I’m fine. At first I was just totally shocked. Most people don’t get engaged and married in the same day, you
know. Besides, I know Howie makes my
mother really happy. And I do love him,
just never expected a Backstreet Boy to become my step-father,” she answered looking
at him shyly and thoughtfully.
He continued to gaze at her while she spoke, how
he'd love to be her father, what it would be like to have Michelle in that
way. No, she was his best friend, Howie
was one of his best friends, they belonged together. He had Telly anyway, he loved Telly. He could still be a father figure to the young girl even if she
was going to become Howie's step-daughter, couldn't he? He loved her like a daughter, hell, Brian
did too he was sure. He lightly ran his
hand along her cheek, before giving her an encouraging smile and pulling her to
her feet.
Everyone started talking at once, expressing their
relief and finalizing the plans. Nick
and Kim played a few video games while Lauren and Telly ran to the mall for
last minute wedding attire. Brian and
Kevin went back to AJ and Howie's house to meet the caterer and make a few last
minute arrangements.
**********************
A couple of hours later, AJ and Patti pulled into
Michelle's empty driveway. Michelle
walked to the window curiously.
"D? Where's your car? And AJ and Patti are here."
Howie came up behind her and wrapped his arms
around her waist and nuzzled her neck.
"Mmm, I love your perfume."
Michelle giggled as his lips sucked on her
ear. "Howie! Stop, they're coming in."
"Ooh, they're too early. I drove over with AJ this morning. Come on, let's go downstairs."
Michelle hesitated, "I'm scared, D. How do I face her?"
He sympathized with her and spoke quietly, "She doesn't know about you and AJ. I mean she knows most of what when on last
night, but we decided not to tell her absolutely everything." He turned
her face towards him, "She doesn't know that you slept together."
Michelle nodded, "It's my duty to tell
her. But how can I? I lost her for so many years because I
wasn't truthful. Now, if I am truthful,
I'll lose her again." She sighed
deeply and sat on the edge of the bed.
"Oh, Howie, I don't know what to do..."
Howie knelt down before her. "Please, babe, don't. . . "
"No, Howie!
I have to tell her! Oh god, I
can't lose her again." She grasped
his hands between hers.
"Hey!
Can I come in?" Michelle
and Howie both turned to the door quickly, "I need to talk to you
both," said AJ walking towards them.
"Where's Patti?" Howie asked as he got to
his feet.
"She's in the bathroom. I need to tell you something, Michelle, and
I hope it will change your mind."
Michelle walked towards him and held her arms open,
"AJ?"
He stepped into her embrace and hugged her tightly,
"You okay, babe?"
She nodded and kissed him on the cheek. "I'm okay. You?"
"Yeah, I'm okay. I really need to talk to you though."
Howie walked towards him and asked, "Bone?
What's wrong?"
AJ released Michelle and turned towards the windows
while running his hands through his hair, "Patti's pregnant."
Michelle gasped in surprise and looked at Howie who
was watching AJ carefully.
"And what's going to happen with that?"
Howie asked placing a hand on his shoulder.
AJ turned back to them with tears glistening in his
eyes, "We're having a baby!" he smiled broadly at them.
Michelle released her breath and closed her
eyes. "AJ? You want this
baby? You want to stay with Patti? For
real?"
He nodded before realizing her eyes were
closed. He walked towards her and
touched her hand. "Yes, I
certainly do. I love her, Michelle. I even want to marry her, but she said not
now. That's okay, I'll wait."
Michelle looked back up at him with concern,
"So, you're asking me not to tell her about us?"
He nodded with pleading eyes. "I can't jeopardize my relationship
with her. Not now. Telling her will do that.
Please, for me? I know I don't
deserve to ask any favors from you, but please. Just this one time."
Howie walked towards the door, "I'll go check
on her."
Michelle watched him leave and then turned back to
AJ. She pulled him over to the side of
the bed and sat down with him.
"AJ, I want you to know that I harbor no hard
feelings about yesterday. Please
believe me. You are one of my very best
friends, I love you and I'll always be here for you, no matter what." She dropped her eyes down to their clasped
hands, "I won't tell her if that's what you want. . ."
He released a small cry before hugging her
fiercely. "Thank you!"
"On one condition," she said into his
shoulder.
He pulled back and looked at her hesitantly.
"We go to Deanna's grave and you say goodbye,
properly. Today. Before your best friend marries me,"
She smiled at him, "okay?"
His eyes closed and he drew in a deep breath,
"I don't know. . ."
"Please, AJ.
You need to do this for your own sake, for Patti's sake and the child's,
for me?" she asked softly.
He pulled her left hand up to his lips and kissed
it lightly, "Okay."
CHAPTER
FORTY-THREE
AJ and Michelle made their way downstairs arm in
arm chatting quietly to find Howie and Patti in the kitchen laughing together
while Patti hungrily munched on their leftovers.
“Hey you! Congratulations.”
Michelle hugged Patti tightly, “I can’t believe my baby sister is going to have
a baby. How do you feel?”
Patti grinned back and swallowed her mouthful, “I’m
great! Morning sickness sucks, but I’ve
never been happier.” She cast her eyes towards AJ. “I’m very happy.”
He smiled back as Howie slapped him on the
back. “Damn, Bone. Who’d have ever thought you’d be the first
to have a kid and me be the first to get married? We always figured it’d be Kevin and Brian!”
They all laughed and settled themselves around the
kitchen table. Howie pulled another
bottle of champagne from the refrigerator.
“Patti, you drinking this?”
She rolled her eyes and groaned slightly. “Damn, my timing is bad. Just a tiny sip and then I’ll go alcohol free
for the next ten years!”
“Howie, is this marriage going to be legal?” asked
Michelle thoughtfully.
He grinned and handed her a glass, “Of course,
Carey took care of the blood tests first thing this morning.”
“Carey? How?” she asked surprised.
“He snagged some blood samples from the hospital
last night. By the way, how’s your
head?” he asked suddenly.
“Fine, I almost forgot about it. How’s your hand? Not that it was rendered useless at all today, that I noticed.”
She said winking at him.
Patti slapped her lightly on the arm, while AJ
threw Howie a high five.
“Anyway, Carey took care of the blood test and AJ
charmed a friend of his into going into work at City Hall and getting us a
license.” Howie beamed at his friend.
“Wouldn’t my signature have to be on an
application?” asked Michelle laughing.
“It is, don’t you remember going there this
morning?” asked Patti laughing while she grabbed a pen and signed Michelle’s
name on a piece of paper.
“Are you serious? You forged my name? Holy Shit.
You guys are too much.” Michelle finished off her champagne and handed
her glass back to Howie. “I suppose AJ
signed Howie’s name?”
“No! I got the application before he came over
here. His name is legal. Don’t worry about it.” AJ replied while
heading into the living room and returning just as quickly with two suit
bags. “And, here’s your duds.”
Howie pulled both bags from him and handed Michelle
one. “What do you mean?”
“Just look inside,” said Patti excitedly.
Michelle placed the bag on the counter and slowly
unzipped it. She gasped in shock as she
slowly removed the dress from the bag.
“Oh my god, you guys got me a wedding dress?” She turned to them incredulously. “I can’t believe it. How
did you manage all this?”
She admired the ankle length white dress
lovingly. “Jesus Christ, this is a Vera
Wang!” She ran over to Patti and hugged her fiercely from the back, then
AJ. “How did you get this?”
Patti and AJ were laughing and Howie was staring in
amazement at them. “Man, AJ, when I ask
for a favor you sure do know how to fulfill!”
AJ downed the rest of Patti’s apple juice and stood
up to put the glass in the sink. “Let’s
just say I have my sources!”
The four friends sat around for another hour before
Michelle dragged Patti upstairs to help her with her hair. AJ and Howie went out on the back patio and
shared the remainder of the champagne.
“Bone, thanks again for all your help today. I could never have pulled it off without
you.” Howie held out his hand to him.
AJ clasped it firmly.
“D, anything for you!” They sat silently for a short while lost in thought. “So, does this mean I have to move out of my
own house now?”
Howie laughed and choked on his drink, “Damn, Bone,
you’re gonna kill me. Of course you
don’t move out. You should have Patti
move in actually. It’s your house too
and she should be with you. That is
unless you want to move out.”
AJ shook his head.
“Nah, it’s big enough for ten people, let alone five. I think it would be good for Patti to have
Michelle and Kimberly around more often, don’t you?”
Howie nodded, “It’s settled then. You stay, Patti moves in. At least, now we’ll have built-in baby
sitters!”
It was AJ’s turn to swallow quickly. “Get real, D! What the hell do you think we keep Nick around for?”
“You guys are so mean to poor little Nick.”
Michelle and Patti emerged from the kitchen in cut-off shorts and tank tops.
“I thought you two were getting dressed?” Asked
Howie, eyeing them with laughter in his eyes.
“We are dressed!
I’m not putting that gorgeous gown on until the last minute. I’d die if anything happened to it.”
Michelle moved over behind AJ and wrapped her arms around his shoulders before
whispering in his ear. “You ready?”
He nodded and stood up. “Where you going?” asked Patti.
“We’re going to the cemetery to say good bye to
someone special. Do you want to come?”
AJ asked Patti softly.
She thought briefly before shaking her head, “No,
babe, you guys go. I’ll stay here and
hold down the fort!” She kissed him
sweetly.
*******************************
It was almost six o’clock when the first guests
arrived; Carey and Karolyn Ferguson.
Kevin and Telly showed them into the studio and handed them each some
champagne.
“Well, Kevin, leave it up to one of you guys to
invite us to a wedding at 6:00 in the morning and have everything together
twelve hours later!” Karolyn smiled broadly at him.
“I don’t know what to say to that, Kar, we’ve never
done anything like this before! All, I
know is that when I get married, I’m going to make sure we have at least twelve
months to plan, not twelve hours!” He
said pulling Telly closer to him and smiling down at her.
“We?” she asked with sparkling eyes.
“We!” he bent down and kissed her lovingly.
Kimberly entered the studio with Howie’s mom
wrapped around her, his dad following along, chatting happily with Nick.
“Oh Kevin, can you believe, I get a new daughter
and a new granddaughter all in one day!” she said kissing him quickly. “This is so wonderful!”
CHAPTER
FORTY-F0UR
AJ, Howie and Michelle drove to the cemetery in
companionable silence. AJ parked and
drew in a deep breath before walking somberly over to Deanna’s grave. Michelle and Howie hung back, allowing him
to have his private time with her first.
“Howie?” she spoke softly, “I hope this wasn’t a
dumb idea.”
“It’s a good idea.
He never even went to her funeral, so he needs this.” They watched AJ slowly sink to his knees and
lovingly pass his hand over the gravestone.
“Deanna? It’s me, AJ. I’m sorry I haven’t been here before now. I just couldn’t. . . I wish you were
standing here beside me. You were my
best friend and I miss you so much. I’m
still mad at you, though!” He gently plucked a few stray weeds from the grass.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you that night, or even before. I wish you’d had let me know that you were
so sad. I’d have done anything to help
you, you know? Damn, I wish I had seen
the signs, but you always were a good actress.” He glanced behind him briefly
to see Michelle and Howie leaning against the car. “I’ve got a new friend now.
Her name is Michelle and she’s helped me deal with your death a
lot. More than I care to admit
even. I’ve been a jackass lately and I
came here to say goodbye to you. I need
to move on with my life. I’m going to
be a father next year and I need to be free from you to move on. I’ll never forget you. I’ll never stop loving you. . . ” The tears slid slowly down his face as he
stared at her headstone.
Howie came over to him and helped him up, “You
okay, buddy?”
AJ nodded his head and continued to stare at
Deanna’s headstone. “I don’t know,
D. This is so hard.”
Howie embraced him lightly, “I know it is,
man. You needed to do this though. You can’t go on and make a new life with
Patti and the baby if you don’t let go.”
AJ nodded again and slapped Howie on the back,
“Thanks, man.” They walked slowly back
to the car. Michelle pushed herself
away from the car as they neared.
“AJ? You feel any better?” she asked grabbing his
hand and bringing it up to her lips. He
smiled and removed his sunglasses.
“Thanks, babe, thanks for the push.” He hugged her quickly and pulled the
passenger door open, “Now, get in. I
don’t want to be the one responsible for making the bride and groom late for
their own wedding.”
Howie and Michelle laughed nervously looking at
each other. “I don’t believe we’re
going to do this, Howie.”
Howie smiled broadly and winked at her as he pushed
her into the car and slid in next to her.
“Let’s go!”
They swung back to Michelle’s house and picked up
Patti and their clothes.
It was 6:15 by the time they pulled into the
driveway of AJ and Howie’s house. There
were already several cars lining the street.
“Who’s all these people?” asked Michelle in surprise.
AJ chuckled and helped Patti from the car. “Well, that’s Carey’s and that’s Howie’s
folks. Then there’s Kevin’s, Nick’s,
Brian’s, Telly’s. Hey, that’s my mom’s
car. I didn’t expect her to make
it. Wait ‘til she finds out she’s gonna
be a grandma.” He laughed merrily as he pulled Patti towards the door.
Michelle and Howie hung back at the car. “D? Did you actually talk to your parents
today?”
He pulled their bags from the trunk nodding his
head, “I did. I spoke to Mama first
thing this morning and told her I couldn’t wait any longer and was planning to
get married today. Of course, she was
speechless, so I did all the talking.
After twenty minutes of rambling on and on, she finally told me to shut
up and that she gave us her blessing.
She loves you and Kimmie you know?”
His face just glowed from happiness.
She gazed at him with love spilling out of every pore of her body.
“Oh Howie, I do so love you!” she kissed him gently
and they proceeded to the front door.
As soon as they entered, they were quickly
surrounded. Kimberly wrangled her way
through all the bodies and hugged her mother fiercely.
“Hey, Mom! I’m
really happy for you.” Michelle shut
her eyes tight to prevent any further tears from flowing as she hugged her
daughter back twice as fiercely.
“Thank you, sweetie. That means so much to me!”
Michelle pulled back and looked Kimberly up and down. “Wow, you look great! Where’d the dress come from?” Kimberly was
wearing an ankle length dark blue Chinese silk. “It is so gorgeous!”
Kimberly twirled slowly before her mother, laughing, “Telly and Lauren bought
it for me. I think it's cool. I like it!”
Howie whistled lowly at her and she threw herself
into his arms! “Hey Howie! Or should I
say, Father?” she giggled at him as he kissed her cheek.
His eyes grew large in surprise, “Baby, you can
call me anything you’d like.” He pulled
her off to the side and spoke quietly to her, “Kim, I’d be honored if you’d
think of me as your new dad. I already
love you as my own daughter.” He hugged
her to him.
She looked up at him with a flurry of
emotions. “Howie, I was kidding about
calling you Father, but maybe I’ll call you Dad some day, just not right away,
ok?” He nodded, “I love you already
like a dad, but when I say that word, I think of my real dad and. . . ” she
stopped herself from saying anything about Kevin. She may be only eleven, but she knew when to hold back,
sometimes.
“I know, sweetie, I don’t want you ever to forget
your real dad, okay? But you have to
promise to call Mama D, Grandma, or she’ll just about die!”
Kimberly laughed out loud and replied, “I’ve been
calling her that for the last twenty minutes!
She’s loving it!”
“Good girl!” he turned back towards the crowd
gathered in the front hall, “Hey everybody, let’s move this inside where we
have more room.” He caught his mother’s
eye and smiled sweetly at her, “Hey, Mama, you look beautiful.” His mother embraced him and kissed his
cheek, before hugging Michelle tightly.
“Howard, I expect a complete set of whatever
photographs that are taken today, as I’ve forgotten my camera in all this
rush!” she laughed heartily and kissed him again, “Congratulations, son. You made an excellent choice!” Howie beamed proudly at his mama and turned
to his father who’d just come up to his side.
Michelle moved from person to person, extending her
gratitude to everyone for making such wonderful wedding plans for her. When she reached Nick, he stooped down and
hugged her quickly.
“Shelly? I have a favor to ask?” She laughed up at
him and brushed his blonde hair out of his eyes.
“Anything for you, Nick.”
“Well, since, you’re moving in here and all, I was
wondering if I could take over your townhouse.
Ya know, I’m kinda sick of being tossed between this house and Kevin and
Brian’s. I need a local place of my
own.” Michelle nodded her head
vigorously at him.
“Excellent idea, Nick. Of course you can have it,
but you better get the landlord’s permission first. You know how picky they are about their tenants.” She said
teasingly while looking at Howie. Howie
caught her look and moved over to them.
“You talking about me?” he asked sliding his arm
around her waist.
“Well, Mr. Landlord, Nickolas Carter would like to take over my lease of your
townhouse,” she smirked at him playfully.
“Is that a fact?
Well, Mr. Carter,” he said turning to Nick, “I can certainly take your
application, however, as today is my wedding day, I shan’t be reviewing any
applicants today. Perhaps, you could
call the office tomorrow?” He burst out
laughing as Nick punched him in the arm and shook his head.
“What the hell, D?
Don’t jerk me around, can I have it or not?” Nick laughed down at him.
“Damn, Nick, you’re no fun. Of course you can have it, you dork. Just don’t make me sorry by having too many
loud parties.”
CHAPTER
FORTY-FIVE
AJ moved through the living room to the kitchen and
quietly advanced on his mother.
“Hey, Ma! Glad you could make it. I didn’t think you’d be able to get back
from New York,” he leaned over and kissed her cheek.
She turned to him and smiled, “Would I miss one of
my son’s wedding days? You’re looking good, despite that nice bruise you’re
sporting on your cheek.” She said tenderly touching his face.
He winced slightly, “Yeah, well, long story.
I’m fine.” He pulled her over to the table and sat her down, “We just
came from the cemetery. I made my peace
with Deanna.” He said quietly.
She locked her fingers with his, “I’m sorry,
Honey. Nick told me what happened last
night. . ."
AJ’s head shot up and he looked at her in surprise,
“Nick, what?”
“Don’t freak out, AJ. I am your mother and I need to know what goes on with my wild son
when I’m not around. Nick didn’t just
come out and blab everything. Believe
me, it took a lot of questions to get the full story out of him.”
“I don’t understand?” AJ said looking at her
curiously. “When did you have time to
talk to Nick?”
“Sweetie, I’ve been here for hours,” she laughed,
“You don’t think Nick and Brian cleaned this house and did all these
decorations by themselves, do you?” He
shook his head and smiled slightly, before looking pensively again.
“How much did he tell you?”
“Baby, I know everything and I don’t want you to
feel embarrassed or anything. I’m sorry
I wasn’t here for you either. I guess
we’ve all been saying that lately, eh?
But, most importantly, are you okay?”
Denise looked at her son pensively, her heart bursting with love for her
precious son.
He nodded and looked her in the eye, “I can’t
believe the last twenty-four hours. So
much has gone on. I’m beat, but I’m
feeling sort of peaceful for the first time in a long time.” She nodded at him. “Howie and Michelle have been so incredibly understanding
too. It just amazes me.”
“You’ve got some wonderful friends.”
“I know it and. . . ” he looked down at their
joined hands, “Ma, I’ve got something else to tell you.”
Denise looked at him tenderly, “Tell me, baby.”
“Patti is having my child,” he looked up in time to
see her startled expression, “I’m really happy about it, Mom. I really am.”
Denise was rendered speechless for several moments,
“Oh, AJ, don’t you think it’s a little soon?
You’ve only been with her a little more than three months.”
AJ looked her straight in the eye, “I know, but, I
love her and I want this baby. I really
do.”
Denise thought quietly, being able to sense AJ’s
need for something new in his life. A
new life, to replace the one he'd lost last year. She looked back at him and decided to keep her thoughts to
herself. “AJ, I may be your mother, but
I’m not your keeper. If this is what
you want, then I’ll stand behind you, and Patti. She's a lovely girl.” She smiled sweetly at him and noticed the
sparkle come back into his eyes.
“Thanks, Ma,” he leaned over and hugged her
tightly, “I love you. You’ve always
been there for me and I really appreciate your acceptance of this too.”
Denise nodded her head and wiped a single tear from
the corner of her eye. “Well, let’s go
find your lovely lady and let me congratulate her personally.”
************************
After a half hour of mingling, Kevin came over to
Michelle and Howie. “Hey, you guys,
better start getting ready. You’ve got
a little more than an hour before the Justice of the Peace will be here.”
Michelle and Howie looked quickly at each other and
burst out laughing. “Oh god, I’m
getting really nervous!” said Michelle clutching her stomach.
“Hey, don’t start that or you’ll make me get
nervous,” Howie said pulling her hands away from herself and kissing them. Michelle took a deep breath and nodded her
head.
“Kevin? Can I talk to you?” she asked looking up at
him inquiringly. He breath caught in
his throat, he nodded and guided her towards the den down the hall.
“How you doing?
Did you have a nice day?” he asked with a sly grin. She shot him a dirty look before laughing.
“I had a nice day, Kevin, and you?” she led him
over to the sofa after closing the door.
He laughed and shrugged his shoulders, “Well,
considering I’ve been running my ass off all day organizing your wedding and
not even getting ten minutes alone with my woman, I guess I’m having a nice
day.”
She laughed back at him, “You’re just jealous.”
“Jealous? Who, me?
Now, why would I be jealous?” he asked raising his eyebrows, his heart
suddenly beating faster. <I> No, I'm not jealous, am I? Stop it, Kevin!</I>
“Don’t play dumb with me, Train. You know damn well, I’ve spent most of my
day on my back!” she laughed heartily and fell back against the sofa at his
expression.
“Oh, so you do kiss and tell. I knew it!
Women are actually worse than men, you know.”
“Please!
Who’s idea was all the flower petals all over the place and the
candles?”
“What? Not me, that was Howie I assure you! I just arranged them.” He said tickling her sides.
“Stop! Oh
man, Kevin, this is all so unreal.” The laughter died down and she looked at
him seriously. “Do you think this is
the right thing to do? I mean, Howie is
just too good. Not only does he forgive
and forget, but he spends all night thinking about our relationship and then
deciding and ensuring we get married immediately. To be honest, I’m a little afraid.”
Kevin watched her quietly, thoughtfully. <I>She deserves Howie's love, they are so right
for each other</I> “It has
been an incredible weekend. Do you
really and truly love him?”
“Of course I do, how can you even ask that
question?” she looked at him with surprise.
“Then, stop worrying about everything and make him
happy. Marry him and make him the
happiest man on earth. I’ve known him a
long time, Michelle, and if he’s gone to this extreme, then you know he really
wants it. He doesn’t do many things
impulsively, you know.”
Michelle listened to him carefully, playing with
the rings on his fingers. She looked
back up into his bright green eyes and studied his face. She smiled slightly at him before leaning
over and kissing his lips softly.
“Thank you, Kevin.
If you agree to all this, then I know it’s the right thing to do. I value your opinion, you know?” he nodded
his head and hugged her quickly.
“But, I have one more question for you?”
He looked surprised, “Anything.”
“Will you give me away?” she asked shyly.
He smiled broadly and squeezed her tighter. “I’ll walk you down the aisle if you like,
but I’ll never give you away.”
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
The excitement level rose as Michelle and Howie
left their friends to go upstairs to get ready. AJ ran quickly after them and guided a protesting Howie down the
hall into his own room.
"D!
Let her get ready on her own. Since
this isn't your normal wedding, you could at least follow one tradition and not
see her in her dress until she walks down the aisle."
"Yeah, but. . ." Howie looked back
longingly at a smiling Michelle and grinned when she shot him a quick wave and shut
the door quickly behind her.
Patti soon joined Michelle and swiftly changed into
the red slinky dress AJ had picked out.
"Man, I just bought this dress and now I'll barely have any time to
tease AJ in it before I get all fat."
She stood before the mirror on the back of the closet door and eyed her
physique critically.
"You goose, you'll probably be able to get
back into it right after the baby is born.
With your metabolism, I'm sure you'll lose the baby weight right
away," Michelle perched on the edge of the bed and looked at her sister
wistfully. "Patti, I love
you."
Patti caught her eye in the mirror and dropped her
hands to her side before cocking her head slightly, "I love you too. Are you okay? You look funny. And, I
never heard you say those three little words more in the past six months than
you have in my whole life and I'm not just talking about you saying them to
me."
Michelle watched her turn and advance towards her
and felt a horrible pang in her heart. <I>My little sister and I've hurt her again! Except, she doesn't even know it. Please don't let her find out about AJ and me, it's not right,
but it's for the best. She deserves
some happiness after all these years of being without a family. God, I hope AJ really does love her, I hope
she knows what she's getting into.</I>
Michelle shook herself out of her inner thoughts
and stood to gather Patti's hands in her own.
"Thank you."
"For what?" Patti asked confused.
"Just for being a great sister and a great
friend. I hope your life turns out as
happy as mine has. You deserve it and I
just want to tell you again how sorry I am for abandoning you before."
"Stop.
That's all behind us now, isn't it?" Patti hugged her quickly and
placed a soft kiss on her cheek.
"We've got to bury our ghosts too, just like AJ did. We both had a few tough years and now we're
going to push them way deep into the back of our minds."
Michelle nodded and hugged her again quickly,
"Ok, excellent advise! And, yes, you are absolutely right. I've been saying 'I love you' constantly,
but how can I help it being surrounded by so many incredibly wonderful loving
people? You look fabulous by the way.
AJ has definitely improved your sense of style, I see."
Patti laughed and looked down at herself and then
twirled around, "Yes, he has. He's
so great. I'm still overwhelmed that he
wants me and this baby." She shook her head slightly, "I guess some
things will just take you completely by surprise."
**************************
Kevin paced nervously around the patio, a glass of
wine in his hand.
"What's up with you, cuz?" Brian asked
coming out from the sliding glass doors leading to the studio, "You've
been pacing back and forth out here for the last fifteen minutes."
Kevin avoided his inquiring look and sat heavily on
the stone bench flanking the pool, "Damn, I don't know Brian."
"It's what Kim said, isn't it?" Brian
asked softly sitting next to him. Kevin
shrugged his shoulders resolutely.
"Kevin, why didn't you tell me sooner about
you and Michelle in Key West? I thought
we shared everything," The slight hurtful tone in his voice caused Kevin
to look at him.
"Rok, I'm sorry. I don't know, I just couldn't.
It was the first night we met and we both had some regrets and guilt the
next morning." He took a sip of the cool red liquid, "But good ole
Howie was his usual peaceful, logical and wonderful self that he always
is. He accepted it and even made us
okay with it."
Brian stared in amazement at him, absorbing Kevin's
slow words, "What?"
"That's not all, either. When I took off at Christmas, Howie tracked
me down and sent her to me."
"Holy shit!
Kevin, I don't believe this.
Howie sent his own girlfriend to comfort you?" Brian saw Kevin's eyes start to glisten as
he nodded.
"He understood our connection, he encouraged
it. He knows how much we needed each
other to deal with the past and our actions.
Damn it, now I can't help but wish it was me upstairs getting ready
instead of him." He placed his glass on the ground and buried his head in
his hands.
"Kevin, I thought you were in love with
Telly?"
"Me too. . . Fuck, why today? Why is this shit coming into my head
today? For god's sakes it's their
wedding day!" he choked out the words painfully.
"Listen, Kevin, calm down. You can't do this. I bet it's just because Kim said she thought it would end up
being you that's thrown all these thoughts at you," Brian placed his arm
around Kevin's shoulder supportively.
"You're just confused. You
won't lose Michelle as your friend just because she's marrying Howie. Damn, if he's been so supportive of your
relationship all this time, why would he stop now?"
Kevin looked at him, torn and confused, "I
don't know. We haven't been together
since Christmas. I haven't been jealous
or envious all these months. I've loved
Telly, I told Michelle not a half hour ago to go for it and make Howie the
happiest man in the world, what the hell is wrong with me?"
Brian didn't know how to respond. After a few silent minutes, he sighed
heavily, stood up and faced Kevin.
"Kev, no matter what you do, don't fuck this up for them today. I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound like a
prick, but think about them. Despite
what went on this weekend, they've been so happy together. You know that! Let them have their happiness for as long as they can."
Kevin clenched his hands together and blinked away
the tears threatening to spill.
"And what do I do, Rok? Sit on the sidelines and watch them live
happily ever after? How the hell am I
suppose to do that?"
"Think about Telly, Kevin! You've been with her almost a year now! Do you want to hurt her? A couple of hours
ago you practically proposed to her.
Snap out of it for crying out loud!"
Kevin remained silent, lost in his thoughts, until
he heard footsteps approaching, "Hey, guys, why the long faces?"
Telly. She
stood before them, in her icy blue dress, blonde tresses swept up into a French
twist, smiling dazzlingly at them.
Kevin felt a half smile tug at his lips and forced
it into a full blown one. "Hey,
babe, have I told you how beautiful you look today?" Brian watched him
cautiously.
"Thank you, darling," she said softly as
she reached over and hugged him, "Now, what were you two looking so sad
about? Today is a happy day,
right?"
Brian sensed Kevin's hesitation, "It's a great
day, Tel. We're just set adrift on
memory bliss. It's not everyday one of
our best friends gets married!" He
smiled brightly at her and nudged Kevin's foot with his own.
"Yeah, babe.
We're just acting like a couple of mothers, crying out of
happiness." Kevin stood up and caught her hand, "Well, I guess we
should get in there." He shot a baleful look over her head at Brian. Brian nodded slightly and gave him a thumb's
up.
<I>Oh man! What the hell do I do to help him?</I>
CHAPTER FORTY
SEVEN
As soon as Brian, Telly and Kevin entered the house
Kimberly ran over to them and pulled on Kevin's arm. "Come on! They're
ready!"
Kevin looked down into her shining eyes and smiled
sadly. <I> If she can adjust to this, then so must I.</I> He
straightened his shoulders, gave Telly a quick peck on the check,
affectionately slapped Brian on the shoulder and pulled Kimberly towards the
hall.
"Ok, Squirt, this is it. You're okay, right?"
"Yes, Kevin.
I'm fine, now go up there and get my mother." She hugged him quickly and turned back into
the studio with a huge smile. Nick
tenderly slung his arm around her shoulder and guided her to the chairs the
caterers had set up. Kevin headed
towards the staircase, his heart heavy, his head down slightly, his hands
clenching and unclenching unconsciously.
"Hey Kev, damn, this is so exciting," AJ
sprang down the last few steps to stand directly before him. His dark hair freshly dyed with purple tips
in honor of his friend, his beautiful brown eyes shining with new-found life,
his black suit sculpted to his lean frame.
Kevin stared at him in wonder, in happiness, in relief.
"Bone, you look good. I can't tell you how happy I am to see you
looking so full of life again." The smile on Kevin's face was finally
genuine.
"Well, I've decided to try D's philosophy on
life and treat each day as a new day, full of promises, hope and happiness and
take it from there. Come on, D! Move your ass!" AJ bounded back up the stairs and pulled
Howie away from Michelle's door just in time.
"No way, dude, I told you already, you ain't seeing her
yet!" Howie smiled guiltily at him
and allowed his friend to lead him down the stairs, the stairs which would lead
him down to his new life, to be shared with the one woman he loved like no
other.
Kevin hugged him firmly when he reached him,
"Howie, what can I say? Keep her happy." He winced sharply at the pang in his heart. "Good luck, man."
"Thanks, buddy!" replied Howie with a
huge smile on his face. "You know I intend to."
Howie and AJ took off and Kevin turned slowly and
sat on the stairs. <I>Ok, Kevin, you can do this. You're just over-reacting. Michelle loves Howie, not you. You love Telly. Telly is wonderful, bright, beautiful, she's the one for
you. Get your act together, man!</I>
"Hey you!
Waiting for me?" he turned his body to the right and saw her slowly
descending the stairs. Her golden hair
swept up with small tendrils escaping around her face, her body sheathed in the
beautiful designer gown, her smile incredibly bright. He watched her descend and smiled as he stood, holding his hand
out to her.
"You look beautiful," he whispered. She blushed slightly and from her position
on the bottom step, threw her arms around his neck and hugged him fiercely.
"Thank you." She kissed his cheek before
pulling away. "You look incredibly
handsome as always," she said with a laugh, "Oh Kevin, you can't possibly
imagine how happy I am right now!"
He couldn't help it, his eyes betrayed him pooled
up, "Michelle, I. . . " he
drew in a deep breath and held her hands firmly between his, "I. . . need
to tell you something." She looked
at him, really looked at him and noticed something in his eyes. Something different, something sad,
something unsure, something unsaid.
"Babe, what's wrong?"
Before he could utter a single word Patti flew down
the stairs, all apologies. "God,
sorry, to keep you waiting. I just had
to go one more time. This is really
gonna suck, you know. Going to the
bathroom every freakin’ fifteen minutes." She stopped aside her sister,
panting slightly, and looked at her with a silly smile, "This what you had
to endure?"
Michelle looked at her like she had two heads, then
burst into laughter, "You are nuts!
And, yes, but wait, it gets even worse." Her infectious laughter even had Kevin chuckling. He released Michelle's hands and offered one
to Patti as she stepped down the last stair.
"Patti, you look fabulous and congratulations." He bent down and
hugged her affectionately.
"Thanks, Kev.
Well, we ready to do this?" she looked back and forth between the
two and grabbed their hands and led them down the hallway. Just before the door leading into the studio
she released them and smoothed down her dress as she walked in slightly and
waited.
Michelle turned to Kevin quickly, "I'm sorry,
Kevin. What did you want to say?"
He stared into the studio and was transfixed by the
scene before him; so filled with gaiety, laughter, excitement. The room beautifully decorated with massive
amounts of colorful spring flowers provided the perfect setting to compliment
the atmosphere . Atop of the shiny
black lacquered grand piano sat a lavish three-layer cake, waiting to be sliced
and consumed. The sofas had been
removed temporarily - only to be replaced by rented white folding chairs and in
those chairs were their friends and family.
Every one of them showing nothing less than happiness. Brian and Lauren cuddled together with their
heads just touching, talking animatedly about their own forthcoming wedding no
doubt, while a young, overwhelmed Kimberly was being fawned over by both
Karolyn and Mama D. Ever so gracious
was Telly with her arm linked comfortably through Howie's dad's, smiling
sincerely at his unknown words. Nick,
looking so mature in his black suit, laughing merrily, and hugging Denise while
his good friend Carey chuckled along with her and the Justice of the
Peace. Shaking Howie's brother's hand
was Dr. Jack Towers, looking slightly tired, but nodding vigorously at John's
enthusiasm.
Kevin drew his eyes back to Howie, whom he had seen
first but avoided taking in the sight of him until now. Howie was standing by the piano talking to
AJ and Pollyanna, while bobbing around slightly in anticipation. His facial features spoke loudly, spilling
his obvious mirth for all to see.
Patti turned slightly and looked over her shoulder
at him, "Kevin, ready?"
Kevin met her eyes and shook his head just the
tiniest bit. "Yes. . . "
"Kev?" Michelle watched him and squeezed
his hand in hopes for a response to her question.
He looked down upon her and smiled for her
benefit. "The big question is, are
you ready?" He entwined his
fingers through her own, "I just wanted to say that I'm happy that you are
happy. I'm sure Howie will be the
perfect husband for you and I believe you deserve no less." He bent down and kissed her cheek, kissed
away his chance of stopping this wedding and hurting three people he loved
dearly.
"Oh, Kevin, thank you. You always say exactly what I need to hear,
but truthfully, you look more nervous than I do," she gave a short laugh,
"Are you ready?"
He nodded and drew her into the entrance and caught
Howie's eye. He nodded to him and hoped
his smile conveyed what he wanted it to convey. <I> I've never seen
him happier. They do belong
together. I could never stand in their
way.</I>-
EPILOGUE
The ceremony was simple, sweet and brief. Michelle and Howie barely heard the JP's
words, so entranced in their love for each other they were. They promised again to honor, protect, cherish
and love each other for the rest of their lives. After Howie had placed a golden band onto her finger, she in turn
gently and lovingly threaded a small gold hoop through his ear with a mixture
of apologies for not having a ring for him and promises to give him one at her
first opportunity.
The small yet boisterous reception went long into
the night. Everyone was in high
spirits, except for Kevin, but he hid it well.
His heart was aching, his mind numb with the knowledge that he really
and truly did love her, not just love her, but was in love with her. Why didn't he see it sooner? There was nothing he could do now, but move
on, try to come to terms that he'd never be the one for her. Howie had captured her heart, body and soul. Telly deserved so much more of his heart
and he felt compelled to stretch it even further to allow himself to love her
the way he should.
When they weren't being smothered with hugs and
kisses by the others, Michelle and Howie were constantly within each other's
touch. The mere thought of him leaving
her side for just a moment caused her to shiver slightly inwardly. She shivered in a different way even more so
when his hands, arms, or lips found their way back to her. Her fingers were found more than once slowly
trailing through his wavy dark hair or along the back of his smooth neck. Her breath caught numerous times when his
eyes met hers. She loved him more than
words could say, more than she could ever possibly show him, yet, she resolved
to herself while dancing in his arms to the last song, to strive towards her
utmost ability to let him know, forever and ever.
The End
Tell Michelle
what you thought of this story!
I'd just like to express my extreme gratitude to
the following special people.
To Danielle, Tina and Kat - thank you for being my
inspirations to write this story. Your
incredible creativity and writing abilities blew me away.
To Patti & Sue, my sisters - thank you for
supporting me in this endeavor, for not judging me and for always being there
to support and guide me in my life as a whole.
I love you guys!
To Nikki - my first "fan" - your enthusiasm and praise kept me going and
has inspired me to go on and write further, even a sequel to this one! Thank you for inviting me to join our special
group of friends, who have brought so many smiles and "WEG's"
Michelle T