Branded By Ambition
By: Lara
“I
don’t know about this.” JC looked at
the sheet music and frowned. “We’ve
never done anything like this before.”
“I think it’s cool,” Chris volunteered, tossing his
music onto the table and taking a gulp of his Coke. “I think we should totally
do it.”
“They’re gonna put it on some movie soundtrack or
something,” Lance told JC. “Half the world will probably never hear it.”
“And that sucks,” Joey offered. Everyone turned to
look at him. He was so easygoing, and
it was rare that he had a negative opinion about something. “This is an amazing song. I think it could
be one of the best things we’ve ever done.
What do you think, Justin?”
Everyone looked at the teenaged leader of their
group, who was dribbling his basketball from hand to hand. Justin shrugged. “Sure. As long as my part is good, I don’t care.”
“That was kinda rude,” Chris said later to Justin.
He loved pointing out any of Justin’s faults.
“Saying what you did about your part being good. You always get the good parts and you know
it.”
“You’re just being bitchy,” Justin said, climbing
behind the wheel of his car. Everyone
else had left as soon as the parts had been handed out.
“I’m not being bitchy. This song rules. We all get solos…even Lance and Joey. You just need to not take your voice for
granted,” Chris said in a paternal tone. “You are not the end all be all of
NSYNC, Justin.”
“I know, Chris,” Justin muttered, picking at his
steering wheel. “I didn’t ask to get the magazine shoots, I didn’t ask for the
way my voice can do leads well. It just happened, okay? And it’s what’s gonna
make me secure for life. It’s gonna get
my mom a house, and eventually a Harley Davidson and anything else she could
want. I can’t help it if I’m a bit
selfish that way.”
“That makes more sense,” Chris said, relieved. “You
sounded like what YOUR voice did was all that mattered.”
“I don’t believe that, not really,” Justin
promised, though he was slightly fibbing. Everyone could sing, that he agreed
with, but he felt that only JC had a voice close to his in quality.
“Okay…Chris…that was good. Joey, behind the mike, please,” the
recording engineer ordered.
“I’m gonna run for snacks…anyone want anything?”
Justin asked, standing up. His part was already finished and he was itching to
get up and walk around.
“I’ll go,” JC said, holding out his hand. Lance
dropped money into his palm and asked for a soda. Justin asked for water, and Chris declined. Justin fell back into his chair, pouting. He
wanted OUT.
“Okay, Joe.
Go for it.” The engineer pushed the button for the playback and Joey
started to sing.
Justin stared at Joey. Justin sat up in his chair, and eventually stood. He leaned on the control panel, his eyes
never leaving Joey’s face as he sang.
Joey made a mistake and laughed out loud, his laughter so contagious
that even the engineer had to grin as he stopped the tape and rewound it. “Here.”
JC thrust the water at Justin.
“Justin. Water. Dude.”
“Yeah.”
Justin grabbed the water, not even looking at JC. He turned to the engineer. “When this is done,” he said in a low voice. “Can I have a copy of his part? I wanna sing against it at home.”
“Sure thing, kid,” the engineer said. “Okay,
Joey…try it again.”
Justin lay on his bed, eyes closed and Walkman on.
He kept rewinding the tape and listening again. Why hadn’t he noticed this before? Joey had the voice of a freaking angel. An angelic voice hidden behind the boy with the angelic face:
Justin. Suddenly his part of the song
was nothing. Joey was everything. The voice was incredible. Why hadn’t he ever looked at Joey in this
light before? The voice shook him down
to his soul.
“Justin.”
Someone shook his ankle and he sat up quickly, ripping the headphones
from his head. It was Joey. “Dinner’s
ready. JC didn’t burn it this
time.” JC, Joey and Justin all shared a
house when they were in town.
“I’m, uh, not hungry,” Justin said, embarrassed to
even look Joey in the eye.
“You okay? Something happen today at the studio I
don’t know about?” Joey sat on the edge
of the bed, concerned.
“No…everything was fine. You…” Justin took a breath.
“Damn, Joe. You sounded
incredible. I’ve heard you sing a
zillion times, but…damn.”
“Yeah, it was okay,” Joey said with that
smile. “The song brings it out, you
know? We all sound great on that song.
I think it’s my favorite.”
“Mine too,” Justin replied immediately.
“We’ll save you something,” Joey promised, patting
Justin’s leg before standing up. Justin
looked down, his skin seeming to burn where Joey had touched it.
Here and now…is the way
I live…unafraid of what life gives…respect things I don’t understand…
“Justin! Chris is on the phone for you!” JC
yelled. Justin groaned. He was in the
living room watching TV with Joey. Actually, he was watching Joey watching TV.
Suddenly everything Joey did fascinated him.
Justin wondered if there was something else about Joey he had missed,
besides the amazing voice.
“Yeah?”
Justin said into the phone that JC handed to him.
“Let’s shoot baskets,” Chris said.
“I’m busy.”
“Doing what?”
“Hanging out with Joey.”
“Bring him along.
JC, too. We can play two on two.”
“Maybe Joey wants to just hang with me,” Justin
said.
“Huh?” Joey looked up.
“Wanna shoot hoops with Chris and maybe JC?”
“Sure. I need the exercise.” Joey stretched, and Justin’s eyes never left
the long torso.
“We’ll be right over.”
“Ooh…I like this song.” Joey turned up the radio
and started to sing along. Justin was
grateful he was in the backseat of Joey’s car and that JC was riding shotgun,
because he was suddenly thinking thoughts about Joey that shouldn’t be thought
about Joey, at least in his mind.
“Damn,” he muttered, adjusting his shorts. This was too odd.
“What’s up with you?” Chris yelled angrily after
Justin missed yet another easy lay-up.
“That was a cake shot!”
“Shut up, Chris,” Justin muttered. “Maybe we should
switch teams.”
“Yeah…that’s good.” Joey came over and threw an arm
around Justin’s shoulders. Justin
shivered. “I’ll take the kid here.”
“I’m not a kid,” Justin mumbled, but he didn’t push
Joey away. He didn’t play much better
with Joey as a teammate, and JC and Chris ran all over them.
“Wanna get something to eat?” Chris asked as they flopped onto the grass
next to the court.
“Nah…I need a shower,” Joey said.
“Me either,” Justin said immediately, looking at
Joey.
“I’ll go,” JC volunteered, and Justin could have
kissed him. JC climbed into Chris’
little car and Justin followed Joey. As
Joey started the engine, Justin dug a tape out of his bag.
“Music?” He asked, and Joey nodded. He slipped the tape into the stereo of
Joey’s car and turned it up. “It’s Here
and Now.”
“Cool!”
Joey said, turning it up louder.
He blinked as his own voice boomed from the speakers.
“Oh, shit!”
Justin said frantically, ejecting the tape. “Wrong tape!”
“What was that?”
“Oh, I grabbed the wrong tape, that’s all.” Justin quickly inserted the correct tape and
pushed play. “There we go,” he said as
the violins filtered through the speakers.
Joey turned the car off.
“Was that just me on that tape?”
“Um, yeah,” Justin said, his blue eyes shining with
adoration. “You sound amazing on that.”
“Why do you have a tape of just me, Justin?”
“I…well…” Justin squirmed and Joey grinned. “You sounded incredible and I couldn’t
listen to it enough and…”
“Is there something you’re trying to tell me,
Justin?” Suddenly Joey’s twenty-two
year old eyes looked very wise as he turned them on Justin.
“I don’t know,” Justin whispered. “I don’t really understand…”
“Okay, just checking.” Joey started the engine.
“If you ever figure it out…tell me.”
He smiled his same old smile, but the way he squeezed Justin’s thigh was
new. Justin looked down at the hand on
his leg and slowly wrapped his fingers around it, pulling it off his leg but
settling it on the seat between them.
His fingers intertwined with Joey’s.
Justin reached up with his free hand and slightly turned up the
volume. Joey smiled and started to
sing. Justin sighed, looking out the
window.
The End
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