Hard Habit To Break
Sequel to Paradise by the Dashboard Light
by Jennifer Jayde
© 2001

“You gotta do what you can, and let Mother Nature do the rest.  Ain’t no doubt about it, we were doubly blessed…”
-Paradise by the Dashboard Light by Meatloaf

Alexia

    “So what are you going to do once Justin gets back?”  JC Chasez asked from his perch on my bed, where he sat, diligently watching me as I toyed with my hair.  I caught his dark blue eyes in the mirror and shrugged my bare shoulders.

    “I don’t know, he wouldn’t tell me,” I replied, picking up a sparkly butterfly clip from the dresser and pushing it into my golden tresses.  My hair wasn’t really blonde, it was more of a light brown, but I spent enough time in the sun doing photo shoots that the highlights made it appear golden.  Many people have told me they would kill for my hair. I would kill to have it all cut off.

    “Leave it down,” JC told me, stretching his arms over his head.  I admired the play of muscles across his chest as he yawned.  JC had short, dark brown hair, a smile that lit up his whole face, and a thin body that had just enough muscle to make girls wish that body was wrapped around them.  It was no wonder he graced the walls of so many teenagers across the world.

    “My hair?”  I asked when he finished yawning, something he did rather often.

    “Yeah, I like it down.”

    “It gets in the way,” I frowned into the mirror, letting it loose from its butterfly captivity.  The whole mass of it fell down my back, coming to rest at the curve of my spine.

    “Well I know that Justin likes it when you wear it down,” JC teased, standing up to check his teeth in the mirror.  “Anyway, Alex, I hope you have fun tonight.  I’ve gotta go pick up Kristy from the Galleria before she maxes out my credit card.”

    “You left her there unattended?” I gasped, shaking my head.

    “Uh, no,” JC stammered.  “Lesa and Kendra are with her.”

    Lesa and Kendra were two of the other band members’ girlfriends and the thought of them all shopping together with unlimited access to *NSYNC credit cards had me in peels of laughter.  JC just shook his head, moving to answer the phone when it rang.

    “Alexia’s room, what’s the password?” he answered.  There was a pause, then he laughed and said, “Ok dude, I didn’t want to know, hang on.”  He handed me the phone shaking his head.

    “Hello?” I asked, raising my eyebrow at JC and trying to contain a giggle at the faces he was making at me.

    “Hey there, baby…” a soft voice crooned in my ear and I felt my whole body relax.

    “Puppy,” I smiled brightly, turning away from JC to focus on my boyfriend’s voice.  “Where are you?”

    “I’m still at the interview, Lexi,” he sighed.  I snuck a look at the clock.

    “Justin, it’s already 7, I thought you would be back by now,” I pouted.  “I’m almost ready to go, and we have reservations…”

    “Aw, Lexi, they started asking me about the foundation, you know how that goes,” he whined, and I could almost see him pouting.  He was like a little kid sometimes.  “I’ll be there, I promise I will, just a little late, that’s all.”

    “Because I KNOW you wouldn’t miss our anniversary, would you, Curly?” I told him, putting a hand on my hip.  JC frowned at me and I shrugged, shaking my head to tell him that Justin wasn’t canceling.

    “Not in a million years,” Justin told me, then immediately burst into the chorus of the Aerosmith song “Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing”.  I giggled, twirling the phone cord around my finger.

    “Ok, well I’ll be here with JC, so….if you take too long….” I grinned at his gasp.

    “I’ll be there, I’ll be there!” he exclaimed.  “Meet me in the lounge at 8, ok, baby?”

    “Ok, I’ll be there.”

    “Wear something sexy.”

    “I’m always sexy,” I told him.

    “Ain’t that the truth though…” his voice trailed off.

    “Justin?” I laughed.  “Stay with me, sugar.”

    “I’m with you,” he said, his voice lowering to the husky level.  I visibly shivered, and JC laughed.

    “So I’ll see you at 8?”

    “Beware of the lobby fans,” he warned me.

    “Todd is already down there, making sure they’re staying outside.  I’m a step ahead of you.”

    “As usual,” he chuckled.  “See you then, Junior.”

    I hung up the phone with a sigh, plopping back down to the bed, not minding how my dress rode up my thighs at the un-ladylike gesture.

    “Um, Lexi?  I am in the room,” JC told me, motioning to my dress.  I pulled it down without taking my attention from the ceiling.

    “I have an hour to wait,” I sighed, tossing my arm across my forehead.

    “Well I would love to stay and entertain you, Alex, but I have to go get the girls from the mall before they spend every penny I’ve earned to date,” JC stretched and grabbed his keys off of the dresser.

    “First of all, that’s not possible, and second of all….you’re going alone??”

    “Alex, I am perfectly capable of…”

    “You are not going anywhere, Chasez,” a deep voice interrupted him.  We looked up in surprise to see Lonnie, one of *NSYNC’s bodyguards, standing in the doorway that connected my room to JC’s.  He was sure quiet for a man so huge, and BOY was he huge.

    “Aw but Lonnie,” JC whined, grudgingly handing over his van keys to Lonnie’s outstretched palm.  He was still pouting after Lonnie left the room, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

    “Well Jace, how about you go get a jacket on and we go get ourselves a drink in that fancy lounge downstairs?” I offered, pushing him gently towards the door.

    “So I can help you pass the time until the curly haired wonder gets here?” he wanted to know.

    “Yup.”

    “Alright, sounds good, be with you in a minute.”  I shook my head at his departing back, then went to check my makeup.

Justin

    It’s pretty flattering when you’re in a group, but a magazine wants to do an article just about you.  I’ve gotten that a few times, though I never did understand why.  It must be my big hair.

    “So basically what you’re trying to do is get music programs back into the school systems?” the woman, I already had forgotten her name, asked.

    “Exactly,” I replied, trying not to yawn.  It got a tad monotonous repeating yourself about twenty times in one day.  “Some schools are trying to get rid of their music programs to save money, but the Justin Timberlake Foundation is trying to do away with that.  Music is very important for young people…”  Yeah, and I’m old.  “…and it’s been proven to strengthen the mind.”  Boy, did I sound like a jackass.  It felt like I had this memorized script that I used in every interview, and it was starting to annoy even me.

    “Great!”  she exclaimed, a little too excited.  The woman had to be in her late 30s, and she looked like she had gotten dressed a little too quickly that day.  Her shirt was halfway untucked, her stockings were too big, her hair all over the place, and she had lipstick on her teeth.  That wasn’t even the worst thing about her.  The freak was actually checking me out, it was disgusting to see someone that age giving a 20-year-old boy the “eye”.  You know what I’m talking about.

    “So are we done?” I asked, starting to get out of my chair.  Her eyes widened and she scrambled to get up as well.

    “Of course,” she stammered.  “Thank you so much, Justin…can I call you Justin?”

    “No,” I chuckled, shaking her hand.  She blushed a bright red, making me want to laugh even more, but I managed to hold it in until Todd got me back into the limo safe and sound.  I only lost a shirt sleeve, a lock of hair, a shoe, and a finger in the process.  Teenage girls were ruthless, I was learning that more and more everyday.

    “Back to the hotel, Curly?” Todd asked, poking his head through the glass window that divided the back of the limo from the front.  I toyed with the radio, ignoring the people pounding on the window as we pulled out of Teen People’s headquarters.

    “Yup, I was supposed to meet Lexi like an hour ago, dude,” I told him, hinting to the driver that he should drive quickly.

    “She has you whipped, boy,” was all Todd would say before he shut the window, leaving me to think about what he had said.  That took all of two seconds before my attention drifted out the window to a guy about my age walking down the street.  He was wearing baggy jeans, a basketball jersey, and a backwards hat, but that’s not what caught my attention.  He was actually WALKING down the STREET…unprotected and unnoticed.  What I wouldn’t give for a day in his shoes.

    By the time we pulled into the parking garage at our exclusive hotel and managed to get me into the freight elevator and up to my room, I was ready to jump out of my skin.  Lexi was going to be so mad at me, I could just see her now, waiting impatiently in the lounge, her fingernails tapping on the shiny wood.  I knew I wouldn’t have a problem getting the reservation moved to a later time, but I still hurriedly yanked on my suit jacket and pants, barely remembering to splash on some cologne before I dashed out of the room.

    “Man, she is gonna kill me,” I muttered as I crossed through the doorway to the lounge.  The sight ahead of me made me stop in my tracks.  Lexi was sitting at the bar, just like I had expected, but instead of the pout I was picturing, her head was thrown back in laughter at something JC was saying, a portion of her long hair trailing down her bare back, the rest pinned on top of her head in a twist.  The dress she was wearing was a bright blue and cut in a low V down her back, the sleeves so thin they were almost transparent.  As she laughed, I got to examine her long, silky neck and profile.  Suddenly, I didn’t care about dinner, dancing, or our anniversary date.  She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

    Before I knew it, I was standing directly behind her, wrapping my arms slowly around her waist.  JC stopped in mid-sentence and grinned at me, but I barely noticed him.

    “Hey, beautiful,” I murmured, bringing my lips to the sensitive spot on her neck.  I felt her shiver, and she turned in her stool to face me with a trace of laughter quivering on her lips.

    “Well look who finally decided to show up,” she scolded, pressing her hands against my chest when I pulled her against me.

    “Miss me?” I chuckled, kissing the top of her tempting forehead.

    “Eh, I guess,” she shrugged and we both laughed.

    “You know you did.”

    “OK!” JC interrupted.  “Alex, I’m glad I could entertain you, but my girlfriend is probably upstairs deciding which shirt she’s going to tear up first if I don’t get up there soon.”

    “Yeah, dude, I saw Kristy in the hall on my way out,” I told him.  “She had that orange turtleneck in her hands…”

    “Crap,” he muttered, leaning over to kiss Lexi on the cheek.  “I’ll see you guys later.”

    “Kiss me and you’re a dead man,” I warned him.  He shot me a “get real” look and hurried out of the lounge.

    “Alone at last,” I teased, offering my beautiful date my arm.  “Shall we?”  She smiled up at me, making my heart do a couple of flips, before taking my arm and slowly sliding off of the stool.

    “We shall, Mr. Timberlake,” she purred, squeezing my arm.  I felt a twitch in my trousers.  She would be lucky if we even got to the restaurant at the rate Little Shot was going.  Well….not LITTLE, but…

    “Justin?” Lexi got my attention away from my anatomy.  “Are you going to go into the elevator or are we going to spend our two month anniversary just standing in the lobby?”

    “Brat,” I kidded, giving her a playful push.  “Get in there.”

    “Aren’t I the one who’s supposed to be saying that to you?” she shot back as the elevator doors closed.  I looked down into her mischievous eyes and just shook my head, reaching down to adjust my pants.

Alexia

    I don’t think I had ever seen the looks that Justin was giving me at dinner ever before in the year or so that I had known him.  His eyes were a smoky, dark blue, and he wouldn’t stop staring at me, his hand occasionally drifting under the table to rub my knee.  Part of me was worried, but the other part was more than a little excited at the prospect of what was going on in my boyfriend’s mind.

    “I still don’t…” I started to say, but then I looked up and met his eyes and I seemed to forget the words.  His hand moved to cover mine, his thumb tracing circles on my palm.

    “You still don’t what, baby?” he asked, his voice low and husky.  He had been talking that way all night, and it was becoming very disconcerting.  I swallowed.

    “I still don’t see why they have to just stand there,” I mumbled, motioning to the two bodyguards that were positioned a few feet away from our secluded table.  Justin had managed to get us in a private room in the very back of the exclusive LA restaurant.  The guards were facing the other direction, keeping an eye on the surroundings, but they were still there, and I know I should have been used to it, but I just couldn’t bring myself to feel comfortable.

    “So the reporters outside don’t come charging in here,” he replied.  “So the boys and girls outside don’t run in here and start screaming and yelling their hatred for us both.”  He moved closer to me, if that was possible, his leg pressing into mine.  “So noone bothers us when I decide to do this.”  His lips lowered before I could protest, and he kissed me with a passion I rarely felt in him, his hand moving to my neck to keep me in place while he ravished my lips with his.  I whimpered in protest when he pulled away, staring at his beautiful mouth in longing.

    “Ah, all in due time, Junior,” he grinned, moving his hand away so he could dig into the tiramisu we had ordered.  I was pretty full from dinner, but watching him as he ate, moving his tongue in circles around the spoon, made my body respond with a whole different kind of hunger.

    “You’re a goddamn tease,” I muttered when he caught my eye over the spoon and grinned wickedly.

    “You love it,” he told me, holding out the spoon so it rested on my lips.

    I slowly opened my mouth and let him feed me the elegant dessert, but my patience was wearing thin.  The second it was in my mouth, I grabbed his jacket and pulled him to me, kissing him much the same way he had kissed me almost moments before.  The growl that sounded at the back of his throat was not a patient one.

    “So are we still going dancing?” he sounded the growl into my ear, his hand slipping up my leg from under the table.

    “We sure are,” I replied, pulling away abruptly.  “You’re the one that was late, it’s not my fault that Little Bounce is just going to have to wait.”  Justin called his dick “Little Bounce”.  I remember when he first told me that, I think I laughed for hours…probably because there was nothing little about Little Bounce.  Men amuse me.

    Dancing was not a good idea, so I soon found out.  The second we got to the dark, crowded club, every nerve ending was on full alert.  Before we had gotten out of the car, Justin had put on a cute black hat, much like Indiana Jones, but less worn.  His curls were pulled back under the hat by a bandana, and he held his head down as he walked, trying to remain as inconspicuous as possible.  I was a little more creative and put on a silky scarf, different makeup than I usually wore, and a dark wig.  We were set, and determined not to get noticed as we started to dance to the heavy beat of the loud techno booming through the club’s speakers.  The form-fitting dress I was wearing strongly inhibited my movement, but Justin didn’t seem to mind, and neither did his hands.  More than once, I had to pull them off my ass, wagging a stern finger in his face.

    “Behave yourself, Mister,” I warned him.

    “Or what?” he asked, pulling me closer and burying his face in my neck as he started to guide me back towards a dark corner of the dance floor.

    “Or I’m going to molest you right here,”I purred into his ear, my hands restless on his back as we maneuvered a spot in the dark area amongst the other couples who couldn’t keep their hands off of each other.

    “Sounds like a plan to me,” he replied, moving his hands to cup my hips, pulling me flush against his.

    I felt his excitement through his trousers and I grinded myself against him to the beat, the mysterious look of the hat on him exciting me even more than I was before.

    “Oh God, baby, you’re killing me,” he groaned.

    “How am I doing that?” I asked, innocently, tracing my hand down his chest to play with the top of his pants.

    “I really like you as a brunette,” he groaned again, wrapping his arms around my waist.  “Think you can keep that wig on all night?”

    “If you leave the hat on,” I told him, straddling one of his legs and moaning when he moved it up so he could rub me through the dress.  If it’s one thing I can say about my relationship with Justin, it’s that our sex life is not boring.  I never got tired of him, of feeling his body against mine.

    “Lexi,” he whispered into my ear.  “Do you have any idea how much I want you right now?”

    “I think I might,” I mumbled back, clutching his shoulders as he started to rotate our hips together, using his hands to guide us.  He caught my earlobe in his lips and nibbled, breathing so heavily that I thought I was going to pass out right there.

    “Can we get out of here?” he asked, flicking the lobe with his tongue before he moved his kisses to my mouth, his tongue moving in and out of my mouth in an imitation of what I wanted his body to do to mine.  I clung to him, returning every kiss with a rampant hunger.

    “No,” I growled, grabbing his jacket by the collar as I pulled away.  “Follow me.”

    He lowered the hat more over his face and touched the brim in agreement, so I turned, grabbing his hand as I led him through the crowd.  There were several bathrooms in the back, they were all singles, and they all had locks.  I couldn’t walk fast enough.

Justin

    My girlfriend’s wild side was one of my favorite things about her, but I never in a million years expected her to drag me into one of the club’s bathrooms.  I had been overly excited all evening, and I knew I was making that painfully clear, but I hadn’t meant that we just strip each other down and do it in public.  Even so, I can’t say that the idea didn’t thrill me, more than I can express in words without keeping my halo that was supposed to be there in place.

    “Lexi, what on earth..” I couldn’t help asking, but she was having none of that.
    “Shut up,” she rasped, locking the door behind us, then shoving me against it.  “You, my dear, have been teasing me all night, and it’s time you paid up.”  I smiled down into her beautiful, upturned face and flicked my hat’s brim with my pointer finger.

    “Well, yes, ma’am,” I replied, barely getting the words out before she attacked, her hands wrapping around my neck, forcing my lips down to hers.  I groaned my defeat and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her so tight against me that I could feel her breasts flatten against my chest.  That only excited me even more and I turned us around so that she was the one pressed against the door.  I wasn’t in the mood for foreplay, and neither was she, so I quickly slid my hands under the dress and pulled down her panties, breathing in their moist scent before tossing them to the floor.

    “A little wet, aren’t we?” I breathed against her mouth.  She took my bottom lip in between hers and nibbled on it with her teeth while her hand cupped the bulge in my pants that had been there all evening.

    “A little hard, aren’t we?” she answered back, squealing when I lifted her off of her feet and turned to set her on the marble sink.

    “Little, my ass,” I mumbled as her hands moved to unbutton and unzip my pants hurriedly, her lips lifting in invitation.  I grabbed it, kissing her hungrily while I hurriedly grabbed the bottom of her dress and lifted it up her legs, pulling her legs apart as it went.  She lifted her bottom from the sink so I could lift the dress over her waist, leaving it bunched there while she freed my dick from its captivity.  Her long fingers wrapped around it, impatiently putting on the condom, her legs drawing me towards her.  She was out of birth control at the moment, so we had to resort to safety measures until she could make it back to her doctor's.

    “Now, Justin,” she begged against my lips, finally letting me go as the tip of me touched her hot entrance.  Her hands stole around my back and moved to my ass, pushing as I was pushing, both of us sighing loudly when I finally was inside of her fully, pausing to savor the sensation of her tight walls around me.  She was having none of that, squirming on the marble sink as her nails dug into the skin of my back.  “Yesssss,” she hissed, burying her face in my shoulder as I pulled out, then thrust in again, only harder.

    “God, baby, how do you do it?" I managed to ask, sweat pouring from me as I kept up the semblance of a rhythm, pushing in and out of her with as much control as I could muster up.  I made sure that I was hitting her pleasurable spots as much as possible, so I could speed it up quicker.  She had me so hot that it wasn’t going to take much longer before I came.

    “Justin, God, go faster,” she begged, her voice catching in her throat.  I was quick to obey, and I moved my hands to her ass to lift her hips closer to mine so that I could go even deeper into her.  I moved frantically, thrusting faster and harder with every one, driven by her moans and cries of ecstasy.

    “I can’t….hold out….much longer…” I panted against her neck, licking the sweat from it as I drove into her, the pain from her nails as they moved over the sweat on my back turning me on even more.  Her answer was a cry of completion, and she clutched me against her as she came, her walls tightening around me in waves.  I put my hand on the top of the counter behind her and gave it to her with one final thrust, growling as I came into the condom.

    Needless to say, we both had to take a minute to catch our breaths after that episode.  Finally, I pulled away from her, kissing her nose before helping her down from the sink.  She giggled at me as I leaned down to pull my pants up, wiggling her dress back over her hips and down her legs.

    “We need to save that one for the record books,” she commented, picking up the panties and shoving them into my pockets.  “Now come on, let’s go back to the hotel.”

Alexia

“Alex, your wig is crooked,” Chris Kirkpatrick commented with a wicked grin as Justin and I let ourselves into the *NSYNC common room. It was a single hotel room that was used for the sole purpose of having a place for them to hang out in without having to deal with all of the fans and the media. I pitied whoever had to clean up the common rooms, I really did.

“Is it?” I asked innocently, reaching up to pat the top of my head. Feeling that he was right, I just took the thing off and laid it on the dresser, frowning at myself in the mirror. I was a mess, a complete mess.

“Must have been a really exciting evening,” Joey Fatone added, his head resting on Lesa’s stomach.

His girlfriend had fallen asleep, but she was absently running her hand through his hair in her sleep, a small smile playing on her face. Considering our past, I was surprised that Lesa and I had become so close. She had actually slept with Justin herself at one point, before we had ever gotten together, and it had caused a lot of tension when we started out our tour with *NSYNC. Luckily, her and Joey had finally realized how great they’d be together, and so everyone was happy.

“I take it back,” Justin said, stepping up behind me, his fingers stealing into my hair. “I like your hair better than the wig.” He started combing through it, staring at me through the mirror without another word.

“You guys couldn’t even wait until you got back, could you?” Joey teased. “You both have that “just got laid” look goin on, should I be scared of our limo now?”

“Just got laid….Friday night…” Crystal, Chris’s girlfriend, started to sing, giggling softly. He rolled his eyes at us.

“I try to teach her real humor, but she just doesn’t listen,” he informed us.

“Sounds like a Chris joke to me,” I observed. “Now where are the others?” Lance, Kendra, Kristy and JC were all missing from this little get-together, and if they didn’t show up soon, I was ready to pull Justin into our hotel room for another round.

“Hey.” I felt his arm circle around my waist. “The others aren’t here, maybe we should…”

As if on cue, the door burst open at that moment, revealing a very drunk JC, followed by a ticked off Lance, then trailing behind were Kristy and Kendra, their arms draped over each other’s shoulders as they giggled at apparently nothing.

“Hold that thought,” I interrupted Justin, reaching up to kiss his cheek. He rolled his eyes, but barely held back a smile as we regarded our friends.

“Something is wrong with this picture,” Chris commented, looking pointedly at Lance. “Who designated you sober asshole of the night?” The tone in his voice proved he was kidding, but Lance shot him a look of pure evil that I didn’t even know he was capable of.

“Well if anyone would know anything about being an asshole…” Lance shot back, watching as Chris’s eyes widened in surprise.

Even though Lance was a lot less quiet than he seemed to the public, he was still not the type to blow up like that. With his bright green eyes and trendy, spiked blonde hair, he was the epitome of sweet. Seeing him with an angry scowl on his face was not a usual thing.

“Now boys,” Kendra stepped in between them, unlocking herself from Kristy’s side. She held out both arms, swaying as she tried to stay balanced. “If you’re going to fight, I at least want a piece of the action.” She burst into giggles, along with Kristy and JC, leaving the rest of us to exchange annoyed looks. Joey decided to ignore us all and shut his eyes to savor Lesa's touch on his head.

“What did you guys do tonight anyway?” Justin wanted to know.

“Nothing!” Lance spat out. “We were in the damn lounge the entire night, taking advantage of their happy hour.”

“Yay Mike’s Hard Lemonade!” Kendra grinned, finally plopping herself on the floor in front of Lance’s feet.

“That’s the only hard thing she’s going to be seeing tonight,” Justin commented to me a little too loud.

“Oh, Justin’s got the funny bug,” JC laughed, leaning back on his elbows from his landing point in front of the coffee table. He looked us both over, than wrinkled his eyebrows in confusion. “Did you two get laid tonight?”

“JC!” Kristy exclaimed, covering her mouth with her hands. “That is none of your business.”

“Ok,” he shrugged, looking over at her with a smirk on his face. His eyes traveled up and down her form before he spoke again. “Am I getting laid tonight?”

“Man, do we have to hear this?” Lance groaned. I wondered what had gotten to him, but decided to let it go until I could talk to him alone.

“Only if you put your ear against the door,” Kristy informed him, reaching out to help her boyfriend to his feet.

“Lance is kinky like that,” JC slurred, punching the angry blonde on the shoulder. I swear, even his blonde spikes turned red, along with his face, his ears, and his neck.

“I suggest someone gets him out of here,” he hissed, his voice low and husky with anger. “Very very soon.”

“Why don’t you guys go play a game?” I suggest loudly, hurriedly guiding Kristy and JC to the door by their elbows.

“What kind of game?” Kristy wanted to know.

“Twister,” Justin recommended with a wry smile. I glared at him before ushering them out the door, watching as they stumbled down the hallway to JC’s room.

“At least if they get into trouble, they’ll be together,” I sighed, propping the door open as I re-entered the room. “So who else needs help?” Kendra looked up at me through a wall of hair, chuckling to herself. Her eyes were as glassy as my grandmother’s crystal dishes.

“I’ve got this one,” Lance grumbled, pausing before standing up. “She can pass out on the bathroom floor.”

“How sweet,” I heard Crystal muttered.

“Well this is where we came in anyway,” Justin announced, gently taking my arm.

“I guess I’m going to bed,” I smirked, not arguing one bit.

“Note how she didn’t say sleep,” Chris pointed out to anyone who was listening.

“Note how I know where you sleep,” Justin replied smoothly.

“Aw, I’ll expect you later,” Chris grinned at his friend.

“Alright, we’ll see you guys tomorrow,” Justin laughed, shaking his head and pointedly ignored his friend. As we exited the room, we heard Chris yell,

“Goodnight, Peaches!”

Justin

A loud knocking woke me from a pretty decent dream, and even though I chose to ignore it, Alexia’s arm smacked me in the face as she rolled over in her disturbed slumber. Needless to say, I was awake after that, and hoping I wouldn’t get a black eye from the experience.

“Oh please, let ME get it,” I grumbled, tossing the covers off of both of us as I rose out of bed. I didn’t miss her sly little smirk before moving to the door and pinched her toe on my way there. She squealed and drew her feet back under the covers, not once opening her eyes. Damn she was cute.

“Johnny?” I mumbled in confusion, rubbing my eyes against the bright light in the hallway after I opened the door to our manager. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Delivering you breakfast in bed, Timberlake,” he snapped, pushing his way into the room and slapping a tabloid down at my girlfriend’s feet. She barely acknowledged it and waved her hand at him.

“Can’t it wait, Johnny?” she groaned, pulling the pillow over her face.

“No, Alexia, it can’t WAIT!”

Reluctantly, I picked up the tabloid, holding it as if I would somehow contract some kind of disease just by being near it. Ironically, a tabloid like this was one of the things that had brought Alexia and I together. One night, we had gotten a little freaky deaky at a dance club, and it had been posted all over every trashy newspaper this side of the Pacific by the next day. After a little planning, we decided to play it out as if we were actually together, but of course a scheme like that backfired right in our faces. I was lucky she was still talking to me at all, let alone that I was waking up next to her every morning.

“Now I told you two that I don’t mind that you’re together anymore….I mean, I would rather Justin single, but what can I do, right?” Johnny started babbling, and my brain automatically tuned him out as I scanned the cover. A 600-pound baby had made the main story, but right there on the bottom left corner was what had to be the cause of the smoke coming out of Johnny’s ears.

“`*NSYNC’s Justin Timberlake and model Alexia get naughty….in a public restroom!’” I read from the caption on the picture, my eyes widening. Even though we were both in wigs and our disguises from the night before, the picture clearly showed both of our glowing faces as we emerged from the dance club’s bathroom together. Our wigs were crooked, our clothes muffled, and there were huge grins on our faces. I smiled, thinking that I was the one who had put that grin on her face, then frowned when I remembered the whole world was getting to see it.

“We do what?” she gasped, finally opening her eyes and sitting up quickly. Johnny just shook his head and threw her another copy of the tabloid. She scanned it, her mouth forming into a very distinctive O.

“There are about four other magazines with the same picture,” he told us. “They all have different variations of the story, but most are the same….couple enters restroom, couple is in restroom for long period of time, couple leaves restroom…looking….like…..this….” With each word he emphasized, he slapped another tabloid onto the bed.

One of them must have caught Alexia’s eye because she frowned and picked it up, gazing at the front before quickly opening it, obviously scanning for something.

“Don’t tell me you’re going to read that thing,” I scowled at her. She held her hand up as if to quiet me, her attention on the paper.

“You two can’t do this anymore,” Johnny was saying. “You’re going to be the death of me. The youngest member of my hottest act was just caught having SEX in a public restroom, this could kill me, it really could.”

“Johnny, I think you’re being a little overdramatic,” I told him, looking at Alexia in confusion as she calmly handed me what she was reading.

Across the top of the page read “Torn Timberlake….Who will he choose?” and under it had the picture of Alexia and I from the night before next to an obviously recent picture of me in a secluded restaurant, sitting in a booth and holding hands with Britney Spears. How in the hell…

“Please explain that to me, Justin,” Alexia murmured quietly. “I hate those things as much as you do, but that is a PICTURE.” Her voice was rising slowly. “A picture of you and her….after you got your hair cut….God, that was only a few weeks ago, Justin.”

“Alexia, I…”

“Hey!” Johnny scowled, trying to get our attention. “I’m going to let the other guys know not to talk about this to anyone, so you two work out whatever you have to work out….hell, break up if you want at this point….and we’ll talk about this later.”

He was gone as fast as he had entered, leaving me in a very uncomfortable situation. Alexia was staring up at me with those big beautiful blue eyes, making it hard not to reach down and hug her.

“Please tell me you can explain this,” she whispered.

This wasn’t the Alexia I had grown to know when we had just started. She used to get angry when I messed up, or she’d give me the silent treatment. This was so much worse because she was letting me see inside the pain in her eyes, into her very soul. My silence was hurting her, and it killed me. “Justin?” I looked down at the floor.

“What do you want me to say, Lexi? Anything, I’ll say anything.” It was a stupid statement to make, but it had really caught me offguard.

“Say you didn’t have dinner with her,” she cried suddenly, throwing the tabloid on the floor in front of my feet. “Tell me it’s a fake!”

“I can’t do that.” She just stared at me.

“Did you sleep with her?” she finally asked. A vision of her standing outside of our hotel rooms months before, asking me the same question about our friend Jen, came into my head. My heart had felt broken then too.

“No, Lexi!” I answered quickly, falling to my knees in front of her. “You have to believe that, I wouldn’t…” Her eyes burned into mine, searching for the truth.

“I wish I could believe you,” she whispered. My jaw fell open. My girlfriend didn’t trust me.

Justin

I wanted to believe him, I really did. His eyes told me that he was telling me the truth, and deep down I think I knew that he hadn’t slept with Britney….but there was still a part of me that couldn’t forget what a player Justin had been when I had first met him. It was ridiculous, I know, but I couldn’t shake the jealous feeling and it was driving me nuts. The last time I had even talked to Britney was that night that she had freaked out in Justin’s hotel room, the same night we had discovered our mutual feelings for each other. Since then, I had only seen her in passing on television appearances and at awards shows. Justin made it a point to say hi to her everytime, but not much more than that, probably because of me. Even I could see the longing in her eyes when she looked at him.

“You WISH you could believe me?” he asked, snapping me out of my trance. “Ouch.” He drew away, his hands letting go of mine as he sank back to his knees on the floor.

“I’m sorry, Just….I mean, I DO believe you, but…” My eyes fell back to the picture of him and Britney sitting in that booth. They looked so….perfect. Catching his eye, I finally sighed and lowered myself to the floor in front of him, kissing him softly on the forehead. “Ok, sweetie, ok…” I murmured, engulfing him in a hug. His arms wrapped completely around me, holding me tightly against him.

“Don’t listen to them, Junior,” he whispered against my hair. “We can’t let them ruin us, can we?” I shook my head and gave a semblance of a grin before pulling away.

“Ok so what really happened?” I asked, nodding toward the tabloid. “Why were you and Britney so cozy? Blackmail? Dead goldfish?” His eyes clouded over and suddenly the floor must have become very interesting because that’s all he would look at.

“Lexi, um….”

“What?”

“I can’t tell you,” he finally mumbled, covering his face with his hands. I blinked.

“You can’t TELL me?” My voice caught in my throat. “Don’t we tell each other everything?”

“Yes.” It was a statement, but there was no emotion behind it.

“So I don’t get it, Justin. You can’t tell me why there is a picture of you in a secluded restaurant getting all cozy with your ex-girlfriend who still looks at you like you were made of 14 karat gold?” I got that all out in one breath, but still got no response from my boyfriend.

“No, Lexi, I can’t,” he whispered. “I’m sorry, I wish I could, but..”

“But you’re hiding something.” I couldn’t help it, I was getting angry. Anyone would in that situation, wouldn’t they?

“No! I’m not hiding anything, I just…”

“You just have priorities,” I interrupted. A funny noise rose from the back of Justin’s throat and he jumped to his feet, glaring down at me.

“Damnit Lexi, I just can’t, ok?” Not letting me answer, he quickly moved to the door and let himself out without another word.

After closing my jaw, I felt tears spring to my eyes, which I quickly blinked away in anger. I accidentally looked down at the magazine which had Britney, Justin and me gracing the cover. How it got ripped in half and tossed over the balcony, I have no idea, but a piece of the paper almost hit Lance in the head as he and Kendra were heading out for breakfast. Oops. Ducking back so he wouldn't see me, I Mission Impossibled my way back into the room only to catch my cell phone ringing angrily.

"Yes?" I answered with no emotion, just in case Justin was calling to beg my forgiveness.

"Is there a reason why Britney Spears just landed on my head?" a deep voice asked, an amused tint behind it.

“I hope you mean the one on your shoulders,” I told Lance, almost grinning.

“Yes, you sicko,” he laughed huskily. “I saw a very guilty looking shadow ducking behind your balcony, so I was wondering if perhaps the culprit was inside.” I moved the phone to my other ear, shaking my head as I once again stepped out onto the balcony to look down at Lance and Kendra. They both waved up at me, Lance still holding onto his cell phone.

“You guys going to breakfast?” I asked.

“Yeah, K’s a tad hungover, and I need to buy her breakfast for being such a prick last night…where’s Justin? You guys should come with us,” he replied. I sighed and just shook my head.

“We had a fight.”

“Wha…” I watched as he covered the phone with his palm and said something to Kendra. Her face contorted, than she grabbed the phone from his hand before he could even blink.

“Alex, you’re coming with us,” she informed me, holding the phone into the air and ending the connection with a triumphant smile.

Looking down into their caring faces, I shut off my phone and glared down at the pair. They both stood, arms folded across their chests, waiting impatiently. I threw up my hands and went to grab some clothes. I guessed I was going to breakfast whether I liked it or not.

Justin

“Hello?” I groaned. It would figure that the phone would start ringing the second I entered the common room. Alexia was brooding in our room, so I had to go somewhere, and luckily the common room was empty at that hour.

“J, is that you?” the shaky female voice asked.

“Brit?” My eyes widened in alarm. “Boy do you have bad timing…”

“Justin, please…” I stopped in mid sentence when I heard the tone in her voice. It was desperate…alone…my heart flipped.

“I’m sorry, B, are you ok? What’s going on?”

“No,” she choked out. “I’m NOT Ok, J, I need you.” There went my stomach.

“What happened, baby, tell me…” I begged her. She was really scaring me.

“Those pills, J…the ones that made me flip on you and Alexia that day? I…I….” She started to cry, her sobs filling my ears with pain.

“Brit, wha…”

“I took them again, J, I couldn’t help it. They made me feel so….” She trailed off.

“In control?” I finished. “You told me that at dinner that night.” She swallowed loudly, obviously painfully if I could hear it over the phone.

“Yes,” she whispered. “I couldn’t help it.”

“You already said that, Brit, now where are you?” I was pacing at that point, covering one end of the small room to the next, my left hand running restlessly through my hair while the right held tightly to the phone.

“I’m in the hospital, J,” she admitted softly. “I’ve been here for three days, they had to pump my stomach…” That stopped my pacing.

“Where? What city? Which hospital?” The vision of one of my best friends lying in a hospital bed all alone killed me.

“I’m in Virginia,” she sobbed. “I’m alone in Virginia, even my mother isn’t here anymore. Fairfax Memorial Hospital.”

“Shhh, baby listen to me,” I said softly, trying to calm her down. “Are you listening?”

“Yes,” she rasped.

“I’ll be there,” I assured her. “I’m on my way now, Brit, count on it.” I heard her sigh in relief.

“I knew I could count on you, J,” she whispered. “I’ll sleep now.” I said goodbye to her for the meantime and hung up the phone in a panic.

I would have to go back to the room to get Alexia and convince her to go with me, but I didn’t care at that point how I did it. I just knew that I needed her with me to deal with this.

Alexia wasn’t there when I got back to the room. I had already called and made arrangements to fly to Fairfax, Virginia, and I barely had a half hour to get myself packed and to the airport. No matter how many times I tried my girlfriend’s cell phone, she wouldn’t answer, and I had no idea where to find her. In the back of my mind, I probably resented her for not being there for me when I needed her, so when I grabbed my bag and quickly left the room, leaving the key alone on the counter, I didn’t feel guilty one bit. Britney really needed me, and even though we were no longer together, I still cared about her very much, and no matter how much I would deny it in my life….it felt really good to be needed. Not wanted and not lusted after, but NEEDED. Britney needed me. I had a feeling that Alexia never would.

“Damnit,” I muttered for the tenth time, hanging up the pay phone that was perched right outside of my gate. Ten times I had tried to reach my girlfriend, and ten times I had come up with nothing. Where had she gone? She couldn’t have been that mad at me after thinking things through, could she? The notion that I would be unfaithful to her was ridiculous in my eyes. I never even looked at other women anymore, it was a given.

“Final boarding for Flight 243 to Dulles International. All passengers please proceed to Gate 14.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, grabbing the phone one last time. Letting the air out of my lungs, I grudgingly released my firm grip on the handle, telling myself that it was useless. She wouldn’t be there. I boarded the plane with a weight on my shoulders, ignoring the pointed stares of the passengers around me as I settled into my first class seat. I normally didn’t mind the stares, you get used to something like that. It was just a really bad day.

“Did I sprout two heads or something?” I growled at the lady in the seat across from me. She flushed a bright red and immediately faced forward, folding her arms across her chest. Feeling a little better, I picked up the headset and settled back for the long flight to the Washington area, hoping there were no twelve-year-old girls gracing the flight with their giggly presence.

Alexia

“Well where is he?” Kendra wanted to know as we entered my vacant hotel room.

“Got me,” I replied, checking the bathroom. Not only was Justin gone, but I noticed his shaving bag was missing as well. My hand froze on the doorknob. Why would his shaving bag be missing? Unless…

“Alex, did Justin switch rooms or something?” Lance asked from inside the room.

“His clothes are gone.”

“I didn’t realize the fight was THAT bad,” Kendra commented, raising her eyebrow at me. I was still frozen in the same spot, my eyes glued to the sink.

“It wasn’t,” I whispered. “And I should be mad at him, not the other way around.”

“You can’t really believe he was cheating on you with Britney,” Lance said with his classic half grin, sitting on the edge of the bed. I just shrugged in response.

“He wouldn’t have had time, he’s with Alex all the time!” Kendra chuckled, looking over at me to check my reaction. Apparently it wasn’t funny, because I wasn’t smiling.

“He sure has time now, doesn’t he?” I pointed out sourly, sinking to the floor and putting my head in my hands.

Ok, what had happened in the course of our argument to make him walk out on me like that? I ran over every sentence in my head, ever facial expression, and kept drawing blanks. When I finally lifted my head, turning it to the side, my gaze fell on a tabloid. It was turned open to the page of Justin and Britney sitting together on that booth. Crying out in frustration, I grabbed the thing and tossed it against the opposite wall, almost smacking Kendra in the head.

“Whoa,” I heard her say softly. “This is pretty serious.”

“Serious?” I closed my throat and replaced my emotions with sarcasm. “No, what could be serious? The love of my life just left without a word, after a fight we had about his perfect ex girlfriend. Why would that be serious?”

“I still don’t believe it,” Lance cut in, his deep voice rumbling into the conversation. “Justin hasn’t taken his eyes off of you since the day you two met, and Britney…well, we all know what happened with Britney…”

“She freaked out!” Kendra exclaimed. “That night that you and Justin first got together, remember Alex? She flipped out on you guys, and THEN we find out that she had been hitting on every guy in the group…”

“And she had,” Lance said with a grin. “She was all over…”

“Anyway,” Kendra interrupted with a scowl. “Justin was there for that, I think you’re just being paranoid.”

“Oh I must be,” I told them, standing up and brushing off my pants. “I mean, why would someone in my position even think about not trusting her boyfriend?” The sarcasm was apparent in my voice and they rolled their eyes at each other while I continued my rave, the newspaper with Britney and Justin on it back in my hand as I walked around the room smacking the walls with it. “His clothes are gone, his bathroom stuff is gone, he wouldn’t answer me when I asked him about THIS picture, he hasn’t even called…” The phone rang, cutting me off.

“That’s gotta be him,” Lance grinned, motioning to the blinking light on the phone. I just folded my arms across my chest and motioned for Lance to answer it, acting as if I didn’t want to talk to Justin at that moment. In truth, my heart was beating in my chest at the thought of hearing his voice, and I hoped beyond all hopes that I really was overreacting. I had to be. “Alexia’s phone,” Lance answered, shooting us a half grin. “Joey? Bro, I can barely hear you…” Kendra and I moved closer to the beds, our eyesbrows crinkled in confusion. “He called from where?” Lance continued the conversation, not looking at either of us. “Are you kidding? No….no, she’s right here….yeah, we went to breakfast….no……..he WHAT?! Joey, I can’t hear you, you’re breaking up…..well get out from under the bridge!! Hello? Joey….Joey, why is he in Virginia? HELLO? UGH!” Lance let out a loud groan of frustration as he slammed down the phone, a sheepish look of….disappointment?…on his face.

“Lance, what?” I finally asked, sitting on the floor at his feet. “What did Joey say?”

“Um…” He only looked up to look at Kendra. Watching the two of them have a conversation without talking wasn’t making things any better, so I grabbed both of his knees roughly.

“Lance! Tell me!”

“Ok, ok,” he sighed, running a hand over his spiky blonde head. “Well first of all, Joey’s phone was cutting out, so I only got part of it…”

“Lance, cut the crap and just tell us,” Kendra spat out, almost making me smile.

“Well Justin called him….after he had TRIED to call here all morning, I might add….but he um…called Joey from a plane…”

“A PLANE?” I gasped. “Where the fuck was he going?”

“From what I could tell…Virginia,” Lance frowned. “Really, he was driving under a bridge and…”

“And what’s in Virginia?” I wanted to know. Lance shook his head.

“Britney,” he replied, simply.

“Alex,” Lesa whispered, leaning over the table of the hotel’s diner. “It’s only lunch, are you sure you want another drink?” I scoffed at her and flipped my hand at the waiter, showing him to ignore my friend and get me another one.

“Should I clear the floor of my bathroom for you, Lex?” Joey teased, ruffling my hair. I pushed his hand away, not appreciating the reference. He was bringing up a night a few months back when I had drank so much that I ended up spending the night on the tile of Joey’s bathroom floor, bonding with his toilet. That had been over Justin too.

“Only if that’s where you want me to kick your ass, Joe,” I shot back, only smiling when the waiter brought me my drink.

“Thank you,” I breathed, taking a long drink.

“Oh, anything for you, Alexia,” he grinned broadly, his metal braces shining brightly. “Can I um….get your….autograph?” He glanced around our table nervously, under the scrutinization of every person there.

“Sure you can….David,” I answered, reading his nametag and taking the pen and paper he handed me. After giving him a nice little message, I finally settled back in my seat and ask Joey the questions that I had.

“So, Joe, you said he called you from the PLANE?” I asked, taking another drink.

“Knowing Justin, he was probably on the crapper,” Chris commented, blowing a straw wrapper at Lesa.

Chris Kirkpatrick and Joey Fatone were two other members of the vocal group that Justin, JC, and Lance were in. *NSYNC, you might have heard of them. Anyway, Joey was the goofy one who was never taken seriously when he wanted to be serious, and always laughed at when he attempted humor. With his dark goatee, fake blonde hair, and somewhat disappearing New York accent, Joey was like a cartoon character. You still had to love the guy, he was too cuddly not to.

Chris, on the other hand, was anything but cuddly. He might have been if he sat still long enough to let you hug him. Even though he was the oldest member of the group, Chris was by far the youngest at heart. Everything he did was either funny or annoying, but everyone loved him anyway. The guy was all heart.

“No, he was calling from one of those phones on the back of the seats,” Joey told us, his mouth stuffed full of garlic bread. “So he didn’t talk long, you know Justin…” We all nodded. As much money as that boy had, he didn’t like to throw it around.

“Well what did he say?” I prodded.

“From what I could hear, which wasn’t much, all he said was that he was on his way to Virginia,” Joey said, swallowing his bite of food and tearing off another piece of bread. “He said that he had been trying to call you all morning, Lex, and that he had to go see Britney. That was it, I think we got cut off. Damn bridges in this city.”

“Why would he go see Britney?” I asked, a little too harshly. I got several worried looks from my lunch companions.

“I thought you would know, I was wondering the same thing,” Joey said honestly. “I didn’t know he still talked to her, after that whole incident in the hotel room.” Again, another reference to Britney’s fit when she had discovered Justin and I together.

“Oh he still talks to her,” I grumbled, pulling out a copy of the tabloid that I hadn’t been able to let go of all day. Joey let out a low whistle as he looked over the picture, then the article, passing it around the table.

“It’s nothing,” Lesa scoffed with a wave of her dainty hand. “That boy loves you more than he loves HIMSELF, there is no way he’s cheating on you.”

“Who said anything about cheating?” I wanted to know, my eyes getting wide. “He didn’t cheat, he would never CHEAT, he should know by now that if he even THINKS about…”

“Hey party people!” an enthusiastic voice sounded, the Minnesota accent clear even in three words.

“Hey Kristy,” we all murmured as she pulled up a chair and plopped into it. JC’s credit cards had obviously gotten put to use, seeing as she was donning a new orange blouse, black skirt, matching orange boots, and new blonde highlights in her shoulder-length hair.

“You wouldn’t believe the moods Lance and Kendra are in,” she commented, reaching across the table for a piece of garlic bread, her eyes falling onto the tabloid. “Whoa.”

“He’s not cheating on me,” I growled, grabbing up the paper and putting it back into my bag.

“Of course he’s not!” Kristy exclaimed, looking down at the piece of bread in her hand. “So um…where is he?” I groaned loudly, pushing back my chair and leaving the dining room in a huff. Luckily, I remembered to stop by the front desk and order a bottle of zinfandel on my way upstairs.

Justin

“Mom,” I groaned, backing away from her wet napkin. “I can get it myself!” It was four hours after I had landed at the Dulles International Airport, and we were still at the hospital, waiting for the doctors to let me in to see Brit. My mother was there, along with Britney’s mother and her assistant, Felicia. We had all gotten sandwiches from the hospital cafeteria and I had some mustard on my cheek that my mother felt the need to wipe off herself with her napkin that she had just licked. I loved my mother, but I had two brothers for her to baby, I was a little too old for it.

“You don’t need to get mad at me, Justin,” she told me softly. “You’ll get to see her soon.” I sighed, balling up my sandwich wrapper and tossing it across the room into the garbage bin with a flip of my wrist.

“I wish they’d at least tell me what’s going on. Last I heard was Britney’s voice on my telephone telling me that she needed me to get out here. She sounded so desperate, Mom…” I felt my voice choke up as my mother’s arms wrapped around me in a hug. It felt good, really good. There is nothing at all like a mother’s love, nothing.

“She’s going to be ok, sweetie,” Mom whispered into my hair. “She just had a little trouble breathing earlier today, that’s why they’re in there. We’re taking no chances.”

“I don’t get it,” I sniffed, pulling away. “Why did she have to take those damn…”

“Justin!”

“Darn pills again? She was doing fine!” I was so angry. Angry at myself for letting Britney down, angry at Britney for letting herself and the rest of us down, angry at Alexia for not being there with me.

“That’s something you’re going to have to ask Britney, baby,” Mom sighed, handing me a glass of water.

“I’m just glad you’re here,” Britney’s mother, Lynn, told me. “She’s done nothing but ask for you for the past few days, Justin.” My heart lept into my throat.

“I wish I had known sooner,” I told her, honestly. “I would have been here.”

“She said something about not wanting to disturb your anniversary…” Lynn said, her brow wrinkled in confusion. Before I could answer her, a door opened and a young woman stepped out, looking at her clipboard.

“Justin Timberlake?” she asked, and I jumped to my feet. She looked up at me with a small smile.

“I’m glad you’re here,” she told me. “Don’t worry, Britney is going to be fine, but I think seeing you will really help.”

“Can I see her now?” I asked, nervously running my hand through my hair. The doctor nodded and pushed open the door, guiding me through as she gave the other women an assuring smile.

“Justin!” Britney’s normally peppy voice sounded soft and raspy.

“Hey Brit,” I murmured, trying to smile as I moved to her bedside, pulling up a chair. She looked ghostly pale, and she had lost more than a little weight since I had last seen her. Even her normally full and healthy hair was limp.

“I look like hell,” she rasped. “I wish you didn’t have to see me like this.”

“You look beautiful,” I assured her. “You’re always beautiful, Brit.” She gave me an attempt of a smile and reached down to squeeze my hand.

“There’s something I should tell you,” she whispered, lowering her voice more as if speaking was painful for her. I took her hand in both of mine, reaching up to smooth her hair out of her face before taking her hand again.

“You can tell me anything,” I told her. She just shook her head.

“I hate disappointing you, Jus,” she started. “You’re the one person whose opinion I even care about, ya know.” I nodded, urging her to continue. “I’ve been….kind of sick lately. More than just the pills.”

“Sick? Ok you’re worrying me,” I told her, gripping her hand tighter.

“Don’t worry about l’il ole’ me,” she smiled softly. “I’m tough.”

“I know you are,” I grinned, my heart quickening even more.

“I have a mild case of bulimia, Justin,” she finally said outright, her eyes searching mine for a reaction. Bulimia? Wasn’t that an eating disorder? Where you…

“You’ve been throwing up your food?” I asked, angrily. “Why would you do that, Britney?” She sighed, releasing my hand from its grip.

“I wouldn’t expect you to understand,” she told me. “I just wanted you to know, and I’m being treated before it gets any worse. That’s why the pills hit me so hard.”

“I…I don’t know what to say,” I whispered, dropping my head into my hands. “I’m so sorry I didn’t see that you were in trouble…”

“Oh stop,” she hushed me by holding up a hand. “I hid it from y’all so well, y’all thought I was the picture of health. I’m just too good for my own good.”

“Say that ten times fast,” I teased her. Not knowing what else to say, I just looked at her sheepishly until she held her arms out and pulled me into a tight hug. I clung to her for dear life, not trying to hold back the tears anymore. We both spent that time crying, just holding each other, with me smoothing back her thin hair and whispering,

“Shhh, I’m here, Brit…I’m here.”

I woke up to someone shaking me and sat up so quick that a sharp pain shot through my back.

“Ow,” I groaned, rubbing the area and squinting up at my mother, who was standing over me with a backpack and a tray of food. I stretched out my legs and sleepily surveyed the room I had woken up in, only finding that I had fallen asleep with my head on Britney’s bed and my body in a chair. No wonder I was in pain.

“Since you insist upon staying here, I brought you a few things,” she whispered, so as not to wake up Britney. Wrinkling my brow, I surveyed the food in disgust.

“Do you know how long she’ll be here, Ma?” I asked, thinking about my girlfriend for the first time since I had gotten to the hospital.

“Not long, baby,” my mother told me, running her hand over my hair. “She’ll be out of here by tomorrow.” I let out a sigh of relief and stood up, relieving Mom of the backpack.

“I need to call Alexia,” I murmured, searching through the bag for my cell phone. My mother scowled at me. She had always thought that Britney was better for me than Alexia, thinking that the latter was a bad influence on me and my career. Britney, according to my mother, was a “sweet southern girl with high morals and not a dishonest bone in her body.” I didn’t tell her about Britney’s tantrum from a few months back. It would break her heart.

“You can wait to call her,” Mom whispered. “Britney needs you now.”

“So does Alexia, Mom,” I argued back. “Brit’s asleep.”

“Not for long, she’s going to be moved to a rehab center this afternoon, Justin.” Hearing the news was a shock to me and I immediately sat down again, looking at the sleeping figure on the bed in sorrow.

“It just doesn’t seem real,” I whispered, needing Alexia now more than ever.

“Tell me about it.” We both turned in surprise as Britney’s soft voice floated up to us.

“Britney, sweetie, we didn’t mean to wake you!” My mother exclaimed, clapping a hand on my shoulder in accusation.

“You didn’t,” she whispered. “I was awake before Justin was, Lynn.”

“You should have waken me,” I told her, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze.

“Where’s my mother?” she asked, looking at my mother without acknowledging my gesture of comfort.

“She was getting some breakfast in the cafeteria last I checked. Would you like me to get her?”

“If you wouldn’t mind,” Britney replied, finally looking at me. She wanted to talk to me about something, that much was apparent. I didn’t have to wait long to find out what.

“Go home, Justin,” she said as soon as my mother left the room.

“Say what?” I was confused.

“Go home to your girlfriend and your band,” she said. “Go back to the tour, I want you on the next plane out.”

“But…I thought you wanted…” I stammered, not understanding.

“What I wanted was to know that you cared,” she interrupted, softly smiling as she ran a hand down my cheek. “Now I know you do, and I feel better already.”

“Of course I care, Brit, we’ve known each other way too long for me not to.”

“I guess I just had to prove that to myself,” she sighed. “I never really apologized to y’all for how I acted that night in the hotel room, did I?”

“Yes you did, that night at the restaurant,” I told her.

“I should apologize to Alexia too,” she said, determined. “I will, as soon as I get out of…” Her voice trailed off, choking on tears. “How did this get so out of control?” I immediately reached for her, cradling her shaking body against me.

“You’re so strong, Brit,” I whispered into her hair. “You’ll get through this, and no matter what city I’m in, if you need me, you just call me, ok?” She lifted her tear-stained face to mine, smiling the second real smile I had seen from her in months.

“Ok.”

Alexia

I stared at my phone, blinking as it rang for the second time in ten minutes.

“Justin again,” JC told me. The day had gone by so slowly without hearing from my boyfriend, and now that he was calling, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to talk to him. My friends had taken turns barging into my room with excuses to check on me. They acted like things were normal, but I knew they were just waiting for me to crack.

“Alex? Aren’t you going to at least talk to him?” I didn’t answer, just stared out the window, so JC took it upon himself to pick up my phone. “Alexia’s personal secretary,” he answered. “Yeah, hey Justin….what do you mean? We’re just hanging out…..bro, you have no rights to accusations like that…..no, she sure isn’t….should she be?……yeah hang on…..DUDE HANG ON!” He sighed, clapping a hand over the mouthpiece and giving me a questioning look. “At least he’s still the jealous, pig-headed punk we all know and love,” JC grinned.

“All of my favorite traits,” I muttered, sarcastically, taking the phone from him with a grimace. JC crept out of the room so I could have privacy, and I didn’t lift the phone to my ear until the door had closed behind him.

“How’s Virginia?” I snapped, more harshly than I had intended.

“Horrible,” Justin told me, his voice creating a new rush of emotions. “I miss you, Lexi.”

“I’m sure you do,” I scowled. “When you’re not with Britney…”

“Now wait a second…”

“Justin, come off it!” I exploded. “Do you know what I’ve been through in the past day alone? We had a fight and you left without telling me anything, then I find out that you’re in Virginia. With HER…”

“I didn’t leave because of the fight, I just…” He was struggling to keep his temper in check, that much I could tell. It was horrible knowing someone so well, I could always tell when he was lying or not.

“You just what?”

“Look, Lexi, I don’t know what to say, I really don’t. I’m leaving in a few hours to come back to the tour…”

“Well good for you.”

“Please, just let me talk, ok?” he requested. I sighed outloud, so he took that for a yes. “As I was saying, I’m in Virginia. Yes, Britney is here. No, it’s not what you think it is. No, I can’t tell you what’s going on yet. You will be the first to know when I can, I promise…”

“You’re telling me that you’re not even going to TRY and have an excuse for what you’re doing in Virginia with your ex-girlfriend?” I cried. “Come on, Justin, a little credit, please.”

“BUT,” he practically shouted into the phone, than quieted down. “But…I miss you and…”

“And what?” I asked when he wouldn’t finish his sentence.

“And I love you, and I can’t stand the thought of coming back and having you upset with me.” His voice broke at the last word and he sucked in a breath the way he does when he’s trying not to cry.

“I don’t want to be upset with you, Curly,” I whispered, my resolve breaking. “But you really hurt me…”

“I know,” he interrupted. “And I swear, I’ll make it up to you, baby, I will. You will know everything there is to know as soon as I am allowed to tell you. In the meantime, please….please just trust me.” Somewhere inside of me, I did trust him. My heart trusted him. I had no choice.

“I do trust you,” I murmured. “And…I guess I’ll wait to hear your explanation before jumping to conclusions.” I heard his sigh of relief like it was in person.

“I knew there was a reason I loved you so much,” he told me, and my hand immediately moved to wrap itself in the phone cord.

“I love you too, Justin,” I couldn’t resist saying. I had a feeling that he needed to hear it, and it was the complete truth.

“Oh baby,” he breathed, his voice breaking again. “You have no idea how much I needed to hear you say that.”

“I think I have some idea.” We were quiet for a few moments before we said our goodbyes, him promising to meet me in my room by the end of the night.

“Now, what time was he supposed to be here?” Joey mumbled, sleepily. He stretched out like a cat and yawned, raising his eyebrow in my direction.

“His flight was supposed to come in at 11,” I replied, yawning in response to his yawn. Looking at the alarm clock, I groaned and laid my head back against the bed. Everyone else had left my room at around two in the morning, all of them there to greet Justin and see how things were. I had never seen so many looks of pity in my life as I had that night.

“It sure is taking a long time for him to get his bags,” Joey teased, obviously trying to stay awake. It was almost 3:30, and he had refused to leave with everyone else.

“No way,” he had said when I told him to go to bed. “I’m waiting here so I can punch him in his curly face when he shows up.” That had made me smile, but it still didn’t change the fact that I had been waiting for Justin for over four hours.

“Joey, really, you should go to bed,” I told him, softly. “He might not even be back tonight, and you need to rest up for the show tomorrow.”

“Yeah, we’ll be heading out of here in the morning,” he said, looking out the window. “Feels weird, after being here for a week.” The continuing tour had stopped in Los Angeles for a week to do a couple of concerts, an awards show, and rest up a bit before we were continuing on to San Diego.

“I hate LA,” I said back, frowning. “The traffic here sucks, the people are rude, the street signs are practically non-existent…”

“And you haven’t had Justin to share it with for the past day, blah blah blah,” Joey grinned at me, yawning again. “Ok, I think I’m going to…”

“Get out of my room.” Joey and I both turned in surprise, not even hearing the door open in our sleepy hazes.

“Justin,” I whispered. “You look like hell.” His hair was even more wild than usual, flying in every direction imaginable, there were heavy bags under his half-closed eyes, and his shoulders were slumped with fatigue. He was so beautiful.

“I missed you too, baby,” he murmured, setting down his bags and opening his arms. I was about to move into them when Joey cleared his throat and put a hand on my arm.

“Ok, I’m going to bed,” he told me, kissing me on the head. “Let me know why he was late later, and then I’ll decide what to do to him.”

“Nice to see you too,” Justin scowled as his bandmate pushed his way out the door.

“Hey, don’t forget about me,” I smiled, moving to wrap my arms around his waist.

He smelled like an airplane, but that scent that was just…Justin…was still there. His arms wrapped completely around my body, pressing me against him so tightly I could barely breathe. I felt his cheek press into my hair as he let out a gush of breath in a huge sigh.

“You feel like heaven,” he told me, not letting me go until I pushed away.

“Nah, I’m just not wearing a bra,” I teased. He grinned back at me.

“See?” he chuckled. “Heaven.” Pulling me back against him, he lowered his head to mine and kissed me softly, just once, until I grabbed the back of his neck and forced his lips back down and continued the kiss until we were both out of breath and sweating. I don’t know why I was getting so emotional, but a part of me was still worried that he wasn’t being faithful. That part made me want to cling to him and savor whatever time we might have left.

“You’re late,” I whispered when we pulled apart, running my hands down his arms.

“I know, I’m sorry,” he sighed, taking off his jacket and putting it in the closet. “I fell asleep in the airport and missed my flight, I had to take a later one.”

“You can’t sleep anywhere but in a bed,” I accused him. It was true, if it wasn’t a bed or a bunk on the tour bus, he couldn’t sleep. JC, now he could sleep anywhere.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t get much sleep last night,” he grumbled, sitting on the bed to take off his shoes. My eyes widened in fear and I just stared at him until he looked up. “Oh geez, Lexi, I didn’t mean anything by that, really.”

“I know,” I whispered, looking at the ground. He took my hands and pulled me closer to the bed so I was standing in front of him, in between his legs.

“Is it always going to be like this?” he asked, his blue eyes staring up into mine, our hands dangling in between our bodies. “You doubting me?”

“Until you tell me what’s going on with you and Britney, that’s a very strong possibility,” I told him, honestly. His face fell.

“I don’t want to talk about this tonight, Junior,” he said, simply, letting go of my hands to wrap his arms around my waist and resting his head on my stomach. “It’s late, can we just sleep?”

“Yes,” I replied, leaning over him to kiss his forehead. He grinned at me and lifted me on top of him, scooting back on the bed. “But we will talk about this, Justin, you know that.”

“Yeah, I know,” he whispered, cuddling up to my back and wrapping his arms around me. I felt him nuzzle my neck and sighed, deciding to just be happy to have him with me, no matter how long it was for.

Justin

I was dreaming that I was in heaven. Heaven smelled faintly of roses and was soft to the touch, making me feel all warm and bubbly inside. I had a permanent smile attached to my face when the phone rang and heaven squirmed out of my arms.

“Justin!” Alexia was hissing, pushing against me. “Let me up, I have to answer the phone!”

“No,” I murmured, reaching for her cell phone while keeping her pinned under one arm. “Hello?” I answered.

“Now that voice is way too sexy to be my Alexia,” an accented male voice teased. “Justin I presume?”

“Yeah, I’d better be the only guy in her bed at 8 o’clock in the morning,” I yawned, untangling Alexia from my grasp and sitting up. “How you doin, Raul?” Raul Stone was Alexia’s manager, and also had a slight crush on me. It was flattering….I guess.

“Much better now, Mr. Timberlake,” he answered. “I called to speak to Alexia, but if you’d like, we can…”

“Here she is!” I exclaimed, practically throwing the phone at her. She wrinkled her eyebrows at me in confusion and lifted the receiver to her ear.

“Raul? You haven’t called for two days, I was starting to worry…” Alexia grinned, cradling the phone on her shoulder to lean over and kiss me lightly. “No, I’m actually in Los Angeles…” she was saying, sitting up straight and concentrating on her manager. I stretched and threw the covers to the side, flinging my feet to the floor. “Really? And how much would that…..wow…..of course I’m interested. Why wouldn’t I be? Raul, really, just tell me where and…did you say brunette?” The portions I heard of Alexia’s conversation interested me, but I tried not to look too nosy. “Are you serious?” she laughed. “You were that sure that I’d say yes? I guess….ok so what time is the appointment? Oh, I’m sure she’s good….it’ll be a nice change….yup…..in an hour? Are you sending a limo? Ok, I’ll be in room 1431 at the Beverly Wilshire….ok thanks, Raul….sure, I’ll kiss Justin for you. Bye.” She hung up with a huge smile on her face and I was dying to know where she would be going in an hour.

“So what did he have to say?” I wondered outloud. She shrugged, placing her hand on my cheek and leaning in to kiss me.

“That’s from Raul,” she smiled. I wrinkled my nose. “And this,” she continued, pulling me closer and kissing me again, this time much slower. I grinned against her lips and pulled her against me, kissing her back with a renewed vigor. Finally she pulled away, brushing a curl away from my forehead. “Is from me,” she finished simply, getting up to, I assumed, get ready to go.

“As much as I enjoyed that,” I told her. “I’m still wondering where you’re going.”

“Well first I’m going to a salon to get my hair dyed,” she called from inside the bathroom.

“I like your hair,” I pouted. “Why would you change it?” Alexia had been a blonde….dirty blonde actually….since I had known her.

“I’m going to be in a video, and it calls for a brunette,” she said, matter-of-factly as she emerged from the bathroom with her face scrubbed and hair up.

“A video?” I questioned. “Who’s video?”

“Joey McIntyre,” she answered, pulling a tube of chapstick out of her bag and applying it heavily. “He’s filming today somewhere in the Valley.”

“Whoa, you mean New Kids Joey McIntyre?” I frowned. “The Mac? The blue-eyed wonder? The guy whose posters graced your wall for four years?”

“Yup, that’d be the one,” she grinned. “Isn’t it exciting?” This must have been how the way she felt when she saw the picture of me and Brit.

“I don’t see what’s so great about him,” I scowled. Alexia laughed and paused in the midst of her prepping to walk over and give me a kiss on the forehead.

“You’re not jealous, are you, Curly?” she asked with a gleam in her eye. I couldn’t help smiling.

“Never,” I told her, pulling her onto my lap and hugging her tightly. “So you’re gonna do it, huh?”

“Of course I’m going to do it,” she replied, pulling herself up and ruffling my hair. “How could I pass up this opportunity? Plus I’ve never been in a video.”

“I didn’t know you wanted to, you could be in one of ours,” I told her sensibly. It seemed like the perfect solution to me.

“Too little too late, dearest,” she practically sang, holding a blue shirt up to judge in the mirror. “Of course I’d be happy to make an appearance in yours too, but I’m still going today.”

“Well when will you be back?” I pouted, already bored. We had a new video to film as well, but there had been some technical difficulties on the set, so we had some time off while the production crew took care of it. I guess we were supposed to have left an hour ago, but because of the difficulties, it looked like we would be staying in LA for a lot longer than we had planned.

“Oh wow, Justin, I don’t know,” she answered honestly, the joke out of her voice. “You know how videos are….probably late. And I’m sure it’ll take a few days at least.”

“Well what am I supposed to do in the meantime?” I knew I was being a baby, but I really thought that we needed some quality time after that whole Britney episode. I needed to gain Alexia’s trust back. I suppose in doing that, I should trust her as well…and I did...but her spending the day with a guy that used to be the object of her adolescent fantasies didn’t sit well with me. It didn’t sit well at all. I was such a hypocrit.

Alexia

Walking onto the set of Joe’s video “We Don’t Wanna Come Down” was like walking into another world. It was like a step back in time from every decade since the 40s. One side of the huge room contained a street scene that looked like it came straight off of the Guys and Dolls set, the extras all dressed in the classy suits and colorful dresses of the era. Another glance showed a 50s diner, complete with a jukebox, guys with greasy hair, and girls in poodle skirts. The 60s set, I’m assuming, was a view of the inside of a house with a very preppy looking family sitting at a kitchen table. The father’s pants were rolled up way too high, and his glasses were way too thick, and the daughter was dressed like she was rebelling against the era. That led my gaze over to the 70s set, which was the most realistic one in the room. It was a simple grassy hill where teenagers sat with guitars and flowers, all dressed in hippy clothing, and a burning metal trash bin in the center of it all.

I was in awe of the work that had been put into the creation of this set, and barely noticed the people staring and pointing at me as I made my way through the center of all of the chaos. The 80s set made me stop in my tracks and I grinned, recognizing the Soul Train feel of it. The outfits were the best part, all of them topped with lots of jewelry, big hair, and loads of makeup. I assumed that this was where the big dance scene was going to take place.

“Alex?” a familiar voice questioned from inside all of the children of the eighties. I squinted into the fogginess of it all and recognized Kendra walking towards me, a huge grin on her face.

“Kendra? What the hell are you doing here?” I smiled back, looking her up and down. The 80s outfit she wore suited her perfectly, she looked like she could have missed the past decade all together.

“Got a call yesterday,” she replied with a shrug. “I had auditioned for a series of dance roles a while back, and I guess they kept my name on file.”

“That’s so cool!” I exclaimed. “And let me tell ya, diggin the hair…” She patted her teased hair with pride.

“Did it myself,” she informed me, looking over my shoulder and sighing. “Man he still gives me shivers, everytime…” her whisper trailed off when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

“And the love of my life arrives,” a raspy voice sounded in my ear and I turned around, a huge smile on my face.

“Joe McIntyre,” I sighed, fanning my face. “I pray I do not swoon.”

“Swoon? That’s all?” he pouted, making Kendra and I both giggle. Yes, I said giggle. It was so hard not to flirt with Joe McIntyre, he was the picture of an innocent devil.

“Sorry, McIntyre, that’s all you’re gonna get,” Kendra told him, making me raise my eyebrows. I guess they had met.

“Whatever, so is this like an NSYNC girlfriend convention or what?” he asked.

“What do you mean?” I wanted to know, but before he could answer, I heard a loud voice yell,

“Well it’s about damn time, Alexia, now get your butt to wardrobe!”

“Kristy?” I questioned. Kendra and Joe both nodded and we all turned to see a very frazzled Kristy Murray hurrying towards us.

“She’s assisting the director,” Joe informed me. I nodded briefly before she reached us.

“Great, you too?” she groaned, looking Joe up and down. “Both of you, wardrobe, now!”

“Yes drill sergeant!” I shouted, saluting her bravely. She shot me a death look before turning around and making a few notes on her clipboard. I could see it now. “Video stars being beligerant.” The thought made me laugh.

Kendra accompanied me to wardrobe, where we found an outfit from all of the different time eras hanging on a rack with my name on it. While I sorted through them, Kendra filled me in on the big dance sequence, which she was helping to choreograph.

“You are not doing the Running Man!” I accused, holding the blue poodle skirt up to my waist.

“Of course we are!” she laughed. “It’s an 80s dance sequence after all.” I rolled my eyes.

“Are Joe and I going to have to learn it?”

“Yeah, but only parts of it,” she said. “The difficult stuff you guys are going to have to leave to the professionals.” I shrugged off her teasing with a sigh of relief.

“You guys are welcome to it,” I replied, putting the poodle skirt away and pulling out a pink tutu with attached blue stretch pants. “I already know I can’t dance.”

“It’s a great concept, I really can’t wait to see the finished product…and we haven’t even filmed it yet!” she laughed. I turned away from the clothes with a question mark on my face.

“What IS the concept anyway?”

“They haven’t told you?” She looked surprised. I shook my head and waited for her to tell me.

“Basically, Joe is chasing you through time, starting with the 1940’s. You guys will do a scene in the streets where he’ll be dressed as a gambler and you’ll be dressed as a missionary, and he’ll be following you through the crowds until you step through a door and into the 50s diner.” She motioned to the poodle skirt. “Basically it’s a dream world and….`we don’t wanna come down’. Even the song is remixed a bit for the video, to fit in the dance sequence.” Picturing it in my mind, I smiled. It was a great concept, and one that I knew I would enjoy doing.

“Hey girls!” an out-of-breath voice came from behind me. “Not to interrupt cause ya know I love you both, but Alex, could you please get into the 40s costume and get your BUTT into makeup?” Kristy smiled sweetly at us both.

“You got it, boss lady,” I grinned, grabbing the outfit off the rack and tossing them both a grin before making my way into the dressing room with my name on it. It felt good, REALLY good, to be working again, and my problems with Justin had yet to cross my mind.

“Are we having fun yet?” Joe groaned, leaning heavily on my shoulder. I wiped the sweat off my forehead and gave him an evil glare.

“No,” I stated, removing his arm and sitting down in the middle of the 80s set. Kendra looked down on both of us with laughter in her eyes.

“You two are really out of shape,” she told us, shaking her head. Joe collapsed next to me and laid his head in my lap.

“Your point?” he groaned and I giggled, looking up at her with a shrug. We had already finished four of the seven scenes, and were now attempting to learn the dance sequence that was going to be the most difficult part of the video. It was the one time all day that we were allowed to wear normal clothing, at least until it was time to film. The girls mostly had on biker shorts and sports bras while the guys looked pretty sexy in exercise pants and wifebeaters. All in all, we were a pretty sad looking bunch by the time the sun went down.

“This is not that hard of a routine, folks!” Kendra pointed out to everyone, getting glares of pure contempt back. She put her hands on her hips and chuckled again as she surveyed the sad bunch of us. “Madonna you’re not,” she told me, raising an eyebrow.

“No, no I’m not,” I replied, laying back to stare up at the disco lights that would be turned on for the actual scene.

“Which is too bad,” Joe yawned. “Madonna is fiiiine…” I playfully slapped his head.

“And I’m not??”

“Not as long as Timberlake keeps lifting weights, you’re not,” he grinned. I shook my head, grinning, when Kristy stepped out from behind the cameras.

“Ok folks, we’re calling it a day!” she announced. “But you all had better be up and ready to do this scene tomorrow because it’s going to be filmed by LUNCH!” We all groaned, but moved quickly to escape to the showers.

“Hold it!” I heard Joe’s voice over the megaphone and turned around with a groan. “Thanks for your hard work today, everyone,” he grinned, surveying all of the people with a gleam in his eye. “To show my appreciation, I rented out Maloney’s for the evening, drinks on the house.” A loud chorus of cheers and shouts met his announcement and everyone found a new wave of energy as we all hurried to get ready for the bar. I knew there was a reason I liked Joe.

Justin

“You’re WHERE?” I yelled into the phone, straining to hear my girlfriend’s voice. Amidst the background noise, all I hear was a scrambled version of,

“Joe…..people……drinks…..soon…..ok?”

“Lexi, I didn’t understand a word of that,” I sighed. I heard her groan on the other side, then finally we got a clear connection and I heard her yelling,

“I’ll be right there! Ok baby, I have to go, I’ll see you later, ok?”

“When later?” I wanted to know.

“Sometime before dawn!” she laughed. “Goodnight, sweetie.” She didn’t even give me a chance to answer her before she hung up and I was left staring at the receiver.

“I can’t believe she…” I was muttering when a loud knock sounded on my hotel door.

“Hey dude, you up for some dancing?” Lance wanted to know, his arm propped against the doorjam. Surveying him carefully, then turning my head to look in the mirror, I let a slow smile spread across my face.

“Yeah, ya know what? I think I am,” I told him, running my hands through my hair. “But first, I need to take care of something.” He shrugged.

“So what time do you want to go?” I checked my watch. It was 7 o’clock.

“How’s 8:30?” I asked, already forming a plan in my head. Lance grinned.

“Sounds good to me.”

“Where’s Kendra tonight?” I wondered, realizing that she, for once, wasn’t attached to his side.

“Same place that Alex is,” he told me. “They went out with Joe McIntyre and the rest of the crew. I guess he rented out some bar.”

“So that’s what she was trying to tell me,” I mumbled. Lance raised his eyebrow, but I shook my head, changing the subject.

“I didn’t know Kendra was on the crew.”

“Yeah, she’s actually choreographing part of it,” he grinned, a look of pride crossing his face. “She called to tell me how amazing it was and…”

“And?”

“And to say she loves me.” I wanted to beat that grin off of his face, I really did. “Didn’t Alex call you?” I nodded.

“She sure did,” I murmured, suddenly finding my pants very interesting. Lance didn’t seem to notice my discomfort, but instead let out a chuckle.

“Can you believe they used to write FAN FICTION about that guy?” he chortled. “And now they’re working with him, how funny is that?”

“Pretty funny,” I pretended to agree. “Ok, I gotta get moving, I’ll see you at 8:30.”

“You got it, bro,” he made a gun with his hand and shot it at me before leaving. The frown on my face deepened as I remembered a song that our rival group performed called The Call. This situation was strangely reminding me of that song, but in my mind, this was one song that was going to have a different ending. With that in mind, I picked up the phone and called the front desk.

“Yes, Mr. Timberlake?” the man answered cordially.

“Do you have a salon in the hotel?” I wanted to know, again running my hand through my hair.

“Why, yes sir, it’s just downstairs.”

“Wonderful, do you think they could squeeze me in in say…10 minutes?” I smiled, knowing very well that even a full salon would squeeze me in whenever I wished.

“I still can’t believe you did that,” Lance shook his head, thanking the security guard at the club with a nod of his head as he let us through the VIP area.

“Did what?” I asked, innocently. At Lance’s look of contempt, I grinned. “I’ve been wanting to for awhile, it was a whim.”

“That’s one hell of a whim,” he commented, squeezing into a corner booth and looking around the club with his usual calmness. I joined him, stretching my arms out over the seats and crossing my legs straight out in front of me. It was my non-chalant stance, and seemed to work whenever I didn’t want anyone to approach me. I figured that if I gave off a cocky vibe, people would assume that I was too snobby and wouldn’t want to talk to me at all. Sometimes it actually worked, but other times they got to find out that I put off those vibes for a reason. It meant that I wasn’t in a good mood, and to leave me alone.

“Yeah, you look especially badass tonight,” Lance laughed at me as a scantily-clad waitress hurried over to take our orders. Lance ordered a Hefeweizen, a beer he had learned to love while visiting the southwest of all places, and I decided to be daring and ordered a double Captain and coke. Not missing Lance’s raised eyebrows, I carefully surveyed the room through my sunglasses.

“Holy shit, Curly??” a female voice gasped. I looked up to see Joey and Lesa gaping at me like I had sprouted horns.

“Not anymore,” I grinned, motioning with my head for them to join us.

“What happened to your hair?” Joey asked incredulously, still studying me.

“It fell out,” I snapped, making Lesa laugh. She reached over and ran her hand across my newly buzzed head, shaking her own head in amazement.

“I can’t believe you did that,” she sighed. “Alexia is going to kill you.”

“It’s not Alexia’s head,” I informed them, accepting the drink set in front of me with a curt nod and smile. The girl grinned and quickly moved to take Lesa and Joey’s orders.

“She’s still going to kill you,” Lesa added, continuing the conversation after her drink order had been taken.

I shrugged and downed half of my drink, doing another survey of the room. A girl’s form caught my eye by the bar and I lifted my sunglasses off of my face to study her more closely. Her back was to me and she was talking animatedly to a guy standing next to her, but there was something so familiar about the way she held herself, casually like she was comfortable in any situation, yet straight that made it obvious that she was trying to look that way.

I was out of my seat before I even realized what I was doing, drinking the remained of the Captain and coke and putting the empty glass down on the table before moving purposely for the bar. The questions my friends were calling out to me flew right by me as I wheedled my way into a spot next to the girl, ordering another drink quietly while trying to listen to her conversation. She was still faced away from me, but I had to hear her voice to know if I was right.

“So when did you get to town?” the guy was asking, his voice deep and very fake, obviously someone who talked just to hear himself talk.

“Just this afternoon,” she answered and I took a long gulp of my second drink. “I haven’t had a chance to do anything yet, and they already have me working club events.” Her tinkling laugh gave me no doubts as to who she was and I grinned, working up the nerve to say something.

“Well this isn’t exactly work,” the guy pointed out with a chuckle, and she seemed to agree.

“Ah, yes, the tough life,” she laughed. The pause in conversation told me she was taking a drink, leaving me a perfect opportunity to cut in.

“Compared to Arizona anyway, right?” I said, staring straight ahead and keeping any bit of expression off my face as I took another sip of my drink. I felt her turn around to see who had spoken and heard her gasp of surprise.

“J…Justin?” I finally turned my head to meet my ex’s blue-eyed gaze, which was wide with wonder.

“Hello Jen,” I smiled, ignoring her shock at seeing me. She shook her head in amazement and smiled back, turning her head to say,

“Hey, Darrick, I’ll catch up with you later, ok?” Darrick nodded, but frowned at me before be picked up his own drink and sauntered away.

“Well well,” she said, taking a sip of her drink. “Justin Timberlake, how the hell are you?”

“Well well, Jennifer Jayde, I’m just fine, and how are you?” I answered, not able to keep the grin off my face.

To explain a bit, Jen was the one who brought Alexia and me together. Then again, it was because of her that we had been fighting to begin with. See, back when Alex and I were just friends, I met Jen at a radio interview in Arizona and was immediately attracted to her. In reality, I think my attraction was fueled mainly by my unconscious need to make Alexia jealous, but at the time, I thought Jen was just what I needed to get my mind off of other distractions, the main one being my current girlfriend. At any rate, I pursued her pretty hard and finally slept with her one night, only to have Alexia catch us the morning after. Seeing the hurt on Alexia’s face was what made me realize that she might actually have feelings for me, and that very day, Jen herself intervened and had a long talk with my “best friend”. I found out later that Jen had told her that all I ever talked about, all I ever thought about, was her…and that she’d be stupid to throw that away. Hours later, we shared our first real kiss, the first one that meant anything. Jen left that day without saying goodbye, and I hadn’t heard from her since. I had always wanted to call and thank her, but had never gotten up the courage to do it. I had, after all, completely led her on, even if she did know it. I’m sure it hadn’t been easy for her to see all of the tabloid articles about my relationship with Alexia.

“Pretty good actually,” she was saying, gesturing to the bar around us. “Can’t think of too many places I’d rather be.” I shrugged.

“Well, LA is known for its night scene.”

“So Justin, what the hell did you do to your hair?” she wanted to know. I chuckled against my glass, honestly glad to see her. Jen was never known for being coy or dishonest, and that was the main thing I liked about her.

“Um, I shaved it,” I replied, pointing out the obvious.

“No shit,” she responded sarcastically, running her hand over my head the same way Lesa had. “I guess I should have asked why…for the love of all that is good and pure, WHY?” The devastated look on her face had me laughing all over again.

“What’s wrong, it doesn’t make me look older and more sophisticated?” I asked, turning my head from side to side. She regarded me carefully, sighing.

“I guess so,” she mumbled, skeptically. “But it’s not you.”

“Oh thanks a lot!” I pretended to be offended.

“So how’s Alexia?” she asked in the next breath, almost making me spit out my drink.

“She’s….fine,” I told her, looking down at the ice at the bottom of my glass. “Why do you ask?” Jen shrugged, turning back to the bar.

“Usually people don’t do things that…drastic…unless they’re inspired to,” she replied.

“You always were a smart one,” I told her, earning another smile.

“Not always,” she said, meaningfully, and we locked eyes for a brief moment, both of us remembering our mini-affair. I cleared my throat and set down the glass uncomfortably.

“Hey, how about a dance?” I asked, standing up and holding out my hand. “For old time’s sake?” She smiled up into my eyes and, with a moment of hesitation, took my hand and let me lead her onto the dance floor.

Alexia

“I’m thinking…” Kendra was saying, studying her Mike’s Hard Lemonade in confusion.

“Don’t hurt yourself,” Kristy commented, making us all laugh.

“What are you thinking, K?” Joe wanted to know, drumming his fingers on the Maloney’s table that we had been sitting at for the past hour.

“I’m thinking…” she started again, but this time I interrupted her.

“This sucks,” I blurted out, shrugging my shoulders at Joe’s glare.

“I’m sorry, Joe, it’s not your fault,” I told him, patting him on the arm. “But I do think we should move this party elsewhere.”

“Well it’s a pretty big night at The Palace tonight,” Kristy commented, finishing off her midori sour. “I think KIIS is there…hey did I tell you guys about Jen?”

“No, but I knew,” Kendra grinned. Kristy smirked at her, then turned back to Joe and me.

“Jen just nailed a job at KIIS,” she informed me. “Pretty cool huh?” I could tell that both girls were waiting for my reaction, seeing as this was the girl Justin had slept with only hours before we had become an official couple.

“That’s great!” I said, enthusiastically. It was an honest response. Jen had been the one to open my eyes to the entire situation, and had given me the courage to talk to Justin about my feelings. It wasn’t her fault she had been attracted to him, who wouldn’t be? “What?” I asked seeing their skeptical expressions. “It is great, Jen’s a great girl.”

“Who’s Jen?” Joe wanted to know. I grabbed my purse from the table and stood up, waiting for everyone to follow.

“Well if we’re going to the Palace and KIIS is there, you might just find out,” Kendra grinned. “I think she’ll like you.”

“Well who wouldn’t?” Joe teased, holding open the door to Maloney’s for us to step through.

“Obviously not that guy,” I pointed out, and everyone turned to see a male dressed from head to toe in red leather blatantly checking Joe out. Seeing the disgust on his face made us all laugh all the way to the car. A tiny part of me felt guilty for not calling Justin again to tell him where I was going, but only a tiny part. I deserved to go out and have fun every now and then, especially if he was going to fly out to VIRGINIA without telling me. It wasn’t like I was cheating on him or anything.

The Palace was kicking by the time the security guard let us through the VIP door. Even the plush room that was meant only for the VERY important was packed with people dancing and talking loudly. After a quick survey of the room, I noticed a few familiar faces sitting in a corner booth and elbowed Kendra in the ribs.

“Hey, what was that for?” she yelled in my ear. I pointed to the table where her boyfriend sat and watched a grin spread over her face. She barely had time to say “Oh” before she was heading his way, only leaving us to follow behind her.

“Well look who’s here!” Lance’s face lit up as he pulled Kendra onto his lap, kissing her soundly on the mouth. “I missed you.”

“Please gag me,” I joked, pushing my way to the table and plopping down in the booth. I looked up to smile at Joey only to see that he was looking at me with wide, scared eyes.

“What?” I asked him, looking back at Joe McIntyre with a shrug. That was when I noticed that everyone else was looking at me with the same expression. “WHAT?!” I asked again, throwing my hands up. “Why is everyone looking at me that way?”

“Maybe they’re all on crack,” Kristy offered. I ignored her, suddenly realizing that my boyfriend wasn’t with the usual group.

“And where is Justin?” I asked pointedly, only managing to widen their eyes even further. Silence greeted my question, making my own lip quiver in anticipation.

“So who wants a shot of…” Joey started to say.

“Really, guys, where’s Justin?” I asked again, cutting him off. This was silly, I only wanted to know where my boyfriend was. Why were my friends looking at me like I had just asked them who killed JFK, and they knew the answer?

“I’m thinking a shot is a great idea!” Lesa spoke as if she hadn’t heard me.

“Fine,” I laughed, putting my hands on the table and standing up. “You guys are so intent on having some shots? Allow me.”

“Alright Alex!” Joe Mac hooted. “I’m up for some jager myself…”

“Buttery nipple!” Kristy grinned, tossing a few bills at me.

“I am not a stripper, don’t throw money at me,” I frowned. “It’s on me, folks, not to worry.”

“I don’t want a shot!” Joey protested all of the sudden. I gave him a weird look, shaking my head as I turned to head for the bar. The whole shot thing was HIS idea!

There are some moments in life that stay with you forever. One of those moments for me was very clear in my mind. The picture of Justin holding my hands while we were sitting at a hotel bar at 10 o’clock in the morning, telling me for the first time that he loved me, was clear as crystal. He had been so beautiful that day. I remember every detail of his expression, every sparkle in his eyes, and every nerve ending that had tingled when he kissed me.

It’s amazing how those are the moments that come back to you when your heart is being ripped from your chest. I would probably remember that moment forever too, the moment that I knew I would love Justin for the rest of my life. You don’t really appreciate what you have until you think you’ve lost it, I have learned that way too many times for one person. When I turned around to get everyone their drinks, I saw something that almost slammed me against the wall, the impact was so strong. Justin, MY Justin, My Justin without HAIR, with his arms wrapped around a girl’s waist, pulling her tight against his body as he… A sob caught in my throat and I had to grab the back of the booth for support. He was kissing her. My Justin was kissing a girl in the middle of the dance floor. It wasn’t a friendly kiss, I saw vividly. It was a real kiss, a passionate kiss. They broke apart for a moment, and I caught a view of her profile. God, it was Jen. The girl was Jen, the same girl he had slept with only hours before he had said that he loved me. The girl that had told me to follow my heart, and not to second guess how Justin felt about me. The only girl I had ever truly been jealous of. She was kissing Justin, right there in the middle of the dance floor for everyone to see. I was humiliated. I was shocked. I was stone. I was the definition of hate.

It was strange how my body picked that moment to declare its forever love to the man who was being about as faithful as a praying mantis. Seeing him with another woman in his arms practically ripped my heart from his chest. I knew that I loved him, I had always known that. It was that moment that made me realize that I would always love him, that I was meant to love him. I wanted to kill her. I wanted to kill my friends for not warning me. I wanted to rip my own hair out and scream at the top of my lungs. But most of all what I really wanted to do was cry. I hated to cry, I hated to lose that control over myself, to have that weakness. The fact that I wanted to cry just made me more angry.

Imagine all of these emotions going through your body within a matter of seconds. I didn’t even hear my friends as they all scrambled up to hug me, or talk sweet to me, or try to take me away. I shrugged them all away and just started running. The security guards didn’t bother to try and stop me as I pushed my way into the cold night, the crisp air burning my lungs as I half-stumbled, half-ran my way down the street and far into the night, where I wouldn’t have to face anyone but my own visions.

Justin

The alcohol started to hit me right as I was pulling Jen onto the dance floor. I peeked behind me as we pushed our way through the crowd to see her smiling up at me, holding my hand as I led her, her face trusting. I felt a tug at my heartstring, and I couldn’t resist pulling her close as soon as I found an empty spot, burying my face into her neck so I could inhale her familiar scent. Memories flooded my mind of how it was with Jen, how sweet and easy she had been to be with. Lexi on the other hand, Lexi was the most difficult person I knew. I could never read what she was thinking, and she never really needed me the way Jen did, and the way Britney did. If that had been her, she would have led ME through the crowd, not the other way around. I sighed, resting my cheek against Jen’s as if we danced all the time. She giggled, her breath brushing across my ear and making me shiver. My natural reaction was to brush my lips against her temple, moving them down to her neck.

“Justin, what are you doing?” she asked, pulling back a bit to look into my eyes. Man, she had intense eyes. They were assisting her in reading my thoughts, and I knew she was. The difference between her and Lexi was that Jen’s look wasn’t accusing, it was simply curious.

“Nothing,” I said, noting how husky my voice had gotten. My hands started wandering over her back absently, relearning the curves there.

“Stop doing nothing,” she scolded, her voice actually far from inviting. She tried to pull back, but I pulled her closer. She felt too good, and my body felt so warm from the amount of alcohol I had consumed.

“So I should do something?” I asked, my lips grazing her earlobe. I felt her shiver and smiled to myself. One thing I always could count on when it came to Jen…no matter how much her conscience tried to resist me, her body never could. We were good together, there was no denying that. I wondered if Joe McIntyre would think the same thing about Lexi…

The rush of anger running through my body at the thought surprised me, and in response to it, I moved Jen’s body until it was flush against mine, our hips pressing together. All it took was one tip of my finger on her chin, and her soft lips were pressed against my own, a small whimper of disapproval coming from the back of her throat. Ignoring it, I deepened the kiss, a fierce anger that I never knew before fueling my actions.

“Justin,” she tried to protest against my mouth, but I held her there with my hand on the back of her head. Again, I felt her body respond to mine, our breaths mingling as the heated kiss went on and on. In truth, no matter how good the kiss felt, all I saw was Lexi’s face in my mind. Her face gave power to my passion, and I kissed Jen harder. In the clouds of my mind, I wasn’t doing anything wrong. Stupid, I know, but that’s what I was thinking. In my mind, I was kissing Lexi, and punishing her at the same time. There was no excuse for it, just feeling….and I loved the way I was feeling.

“JUSTIN!” Jen finally protested loud enough for me to hear, and I pulled back in surprise.

“What?” I wondered, frowning at the shocked look on her face.

“JUSTIN!” The loud yell from Joey made me roll my eyes.

“What now?” I muttered, trying to take a step in my drunken haze, but feeling my knees buckled as I did. Jen’s shoulder became my leaning post as the hazy form of my friend Joey closed in on me. “Joey, what do you…” His fist flew out, and a white pain filled my head just before I felt the floor slip out from under me and everything went black.

I woke up to a swarm of blurry faces, all studying me like I was an exhibit. Blinking against the fog, I struggled to raise myself on my elbows, groaning as a sharp pain shot up my jaw.

“What the hell happened?” I muttered, rubbing my jaw with one hand while my other pushed my body into a sitting position. Bright lights blinded my eyes, and the heady smell of alcohol filled my nostrils. It didn’t take long to realize that I was sitting in the middle of a dance floor that had very recently been occupied by several sweaty bodies. The thought made me wrinkle my nose and I tried to get to my feet, but a wave of dizziness prevented it.

“First of all, the club is closed and we need to get you out of here,” I heard Lance grunt from above me. I blinked and looked up to see Lance, JC, Lesa, Jen, and…Joe McIntyre?…standing above me with mixed expressions on their faces. Another glance told me that Joey was standing off to the side with a pack of ice to his hand and fire in his eyes.

“Wh…” I shook my head, trying to clear it. “Is it my imagination or did Joey punch me?”

“He sure did,” JC almost chuckled as he and Lance helped me to my feet. “I didn’t know he had it in him.”

“Neither did I,” I muttered, trying to shove them away. I stumbled a bit as soon as they let go, so Lesa and Jen immediately moved to my side to help me make my way out the door. “So why’d he do it?” I heard Lesa choke on a laugh from under my arm and I gave her a scowl.

“Wipe that look off your face, Timberlake,” she scowled back. “You deserved it.”

“Deserved to get knocked unconscious???” I gasped, looking to Jen for help. She just blushed and looked down at the ground, easing her way out from under my arm as we made our way into the parking lot.

“Yes, deserved to get SOMETH…” Lance was cut off by a few shouts from the other side of the parking lot. We all looked up to see Kendra and Kristy racing towards us, worried looks on their faces.

“We couldn’t find her,” Kendra panted, coming to a stop in front of us.

“And we looked EVERYWHERE,” Kristy added, throwing her hands in the air. “You’ve done it this time, Curly...uh, Mr. Clean. What happened to your hair anyway?”

“Me??” I looked from one accusing face to the next, even more surprised when I saw Joe McIntyre scowling at me as well. “What’d I do?”

“He has a very convenient memory,” Lance told them with a shrug. “Now we’ve gotta figure out where Alex might have gone, you guys.”

“Well she’s Justin’s girlfriend, don’t you think he should at least have an idea?” Joe finally spoke. I wondered what he was doing here.

“Wait a second,” I blurted out. “Lexi was here tonight?” A picture flew through my memory of gyrating bodies, rose scented cologne….Jen. Oh my God.

“Yeah she was here, Justin,” Kendra sighed. “We all were. Joe’s little party sucked, so we decided to check this place out.”

“And ran into you guys…” Kristy’s voice trailed off as everyone looked from me to Jen.

“Oh my God,” I murmured, glad to have reached the car so I could sit on the bumper. “I kissed you.” Of course, the words were spoken to Jen, whose face turned an even darker shade of red.

“You sure did,” she said with a frown, absently touching her bottom lip.

“And Lexi…she saw it, didn’t she?” My voice was almost a whisper. An image of her face flashed in my mind, from months before when she had caught Jen in my room without any clothes on. I would always remember Alexia’s face from that day. I had known then that I loved her, and even better, that she loved me back. The pain she had experienced had given me pain, making me want to take care of her forever.

“I can’t believe what an asshole I am!” I shouted to no one in particular. “God, Joey should have done more than punch me.”

“I almost did.” Joey’s voice startled all of us, but when I met his stare, my eyes were begging his forgiveness.

“In Justin’s defense,” Jen said, her voice soft for a change. Everyone listened carefully, wondering what on earth she could possibly say in my defense….even me. She swallowed and turned to look at me. “It wasn’t you out there, Justin,” she said. “There was…something else taking you over. Besides the alcohol, I mean, you were drunk, but there was something else…like you were angry about something. I don’t know, but it wasn’t the Justin that I knew that kissed me tonight.”

“You tried to push me away!” I gasped, my hand flying to my mouth as I remembered the evening. “I…I forced you…” She held up her hand, stopping what I was about to say.

“You know that’s impossible,” she whispered, her eyes speaking more than her mouth could. She had wanted me to kiss her and I had known it, and taken advantage of it.

“I’m sorry,” I told her, softly, finally turning back to my friends. “What did she do? What did Lexi say?” They all exchanged a glance.

“She left, Jus,” JC informed me. “She just stood there and stared, then…”

“She ran,” Joey cut in. “I’ve never seen her look that upset before, she just ran.” My face fell.

“I’ve got to find her,” I told them, rubbing my jaw absently. Joey packed a pretty mean punch, I had to give it to him. “This is all my fault, and I have to find her.” I fumbled in my pocket for car keys, only giving up when Kristy dangled them in front of my face.

“No way are you driving,” she informed me. “Get in, I’ll drive. K, JC and Lance will go with us. Joe, Joey, Lesa and Jen in the other car. Cell phones on, everyone?” We all nodded. “Alright then, let’s move!”

By 5 AM, I still wasn’t ready to give up searching, but everyone else already had. Jen and Joe had long gone home, and the rest of us were on our way back to the hotel, despite my objections.

“Maybe she left a message for us there,” Kendra suggested, and that was the only thing that made me not take the car hostage and continue to search all of Los Angeles for a sign of my girlfriend. I had never been so scared.

There wasn’t a message at the front desk of the hotel. We could only assume that Alexia had gotten herself another room for the night in hopes of avoiding me, so we parted ways and decided to get some sleep before morning. Knowing there was no way that was going to happen, I shucked off my shirt the second I walked into mine and Lexi’s hotel room, and immediately went for her teddy bear. His name was Honey, and she took the thing everywhere she went in this little duffle bag that she had carried with her to every city since the beginning of the tour. There was something about this bear that she loved dearly, and just holding him made me feel like she was with me. I breathed in the toy’s scent and surprised myself by letting my tears drop onto his fur. I must have dozed off like that, sitting in the armchair in the corner of the room with my arms wrapped around the bear, because I woke to a phone ringing from that same position.

“Lexi?” I breathed into the phone, out of breath from having gotten to my feet so quickly.

“Um, is this Mr. Justin Timberlake?” The older man’s voice startled me and I squinted to see the clock. It was almost seven o’clock in the morning.

“Yes, who’s this?” My voice was shaking as I cradled the phone to my ear.

“Thank God,” he sighed. “You celebrities are extremely difficult to get ahold of, you know that?”

“Who is this?” I gritted my teeth in frustration.

“My name is Dr. Emmett Goldstein,” he answered. “I have a woman here who I believe is your girlfriend.” I let out a cry and tried to sit on the corner of the bed, but ended up falling to the floor.

“You have Lexi?” I asked, excitedly. “Where is she? Is she ok? Can I talk to her?”

“I’m afraid not, Mr. Timberlake,” he stated, his voice void of emotion. “Miss Carter is unconscious.” My jaw dropped open. This man knew Alexia’s last name. No one but me knew her last name, it was something that her agency never used or spoke of. They said it gave her a cloud of mystery that people loved.

“God,” I choked on my own throat. “Where is she? Please tell me everything, doc, please…”

“Someone found Miss Carter on the ground in a small park by Hollywood Boulevard,” he told me. “She had been assaulted, and has yet to wake up. That is all we know.” He told me which hospital they were at, and how to contact him, but by that point, my hands were shaking so badly, and my tears were blinding me so badly, that I couldn’t write. I just dropped the phone and pounded on the wall, praying that Joey and Lesa would hear me and wake up.

“You can’t tell me anything???” I asked for the fourth time since we had arrived at the hospital ten minutes before. After waking up Lesa and Joey, I had somehow told them what happened, and Lesa had worked her female magic and gotten everyone together into the lobby of the ER. Kristy and JC were leaning against each other, both looking sick with worry. Chris and Crystal and gone to get everyone coffee and soda. Lance was pacing around the chairs. Joey and Lesa were with me at the counter, trying to prevent me from killing someone, and Kendra had taken one of the cars and gone to get Joe and Jen. Alexia’s manager, Raul, had been called and informed to notify her family, whom she never spoke about. All in all, I was in hell. It was like someone had told me to think of the worst thing that could happen to me, and having it really come true.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Timberlake, but she is still unconscious. The doctor is in there now, so if you’ll just…” I was already walking to the double doors before she had finished her sentence.

“Justin!” Joey grabbed both of my arms while Lesa pushed on my chest, just like last time. “They’re doing their best, bro.”

“My ass,” I growled, shrugging them off of me. “If they were doing their best, she’d be here right now…” I struggled to maintain my composure, but ended up choking on my words. Alexia, MY Alexia, had been assaulted in the middle of a park in the middle of the night, and here she was lying in some hospital unconscious….and it was all my fault.

“Justin!” I turned to the lobby doors and caught sight of Jen, Kendra, and Joe as they all rushed inside. Jen moved as if she was going to hug me, than seemed to think better of it and stood her ground. “How is she?” she asked quietly. I was somewhat disappointed. My heart was with Alexia, but I respected Jen, and needed the comfort. Noone would understand that.

“They don’t know,” Lesa answered just as quietly, putting a hand on my shoulder.

“Talking softly isn’t going to make me not hear you, ya know,” I grumbled, trudging through the lobby and sinking into one of the hard, uninviting chairs. An hour passed…maybe two, I had lost count. The linoleum on the floor had become my best friend, I had been staring at it so long, biting a hole in my lip. More than once, I had to brush unwanted tears away, pretending that my friends hadn’t seen it.

A commotion by the counter caught my attention. A woman was standing at the desk, waving her fists at the lady angrily. Funny, I hadn’t even noticed her come in.

“You tell me what happened to my daughter or I’ll come over there and…”

“Mrs. Carter?” I had instinctively moved towards the woman, knowing without really knowing that she was Alexia’s mother. I had never met her, nor heard anything about her, but I knew it was her. She had Alexia’s anger stance, and the same fire in her eyes.

She whipped around to face me, those eyes flashing with anger, than softening when she saw my reddened eyes. I easily caught the recognition as it flashed across her face and wondered how often she talked to her daughter.

“Justin Timberlake,” she said simply, moving to give me a hug that seemed way too strong to come from such a little woman. I hugged her back, blinking back the tears. “I’m so glad to finally meet you,” she told me, laughing at the irony of the situation.

“It’s an honor, ma’am,” I said honestly. She waved my comment off with a flip of her hand.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to my daughter,” she said, taking my arm. “I’m just glad you’re here.”

“I’m not.” I never could come up with the right thing to say when I had to say it.

“She’s going to be ok, Justin,” her mother told me. “My daughter is a fighter. I might not talk to her anymore, but she’s a fighter.”

“I um…noticed that she doesn’t talk about her family much,” I observed, guiding her into a seat. “May I ask why, Mrs. Carter?”

“Please, it’s Lily,” she said. “And that’s another story for another day…right now, let’s just pray that she wakes up soon.” With that, she closed her eyes and literally started to pray, showing the only trait that didn’t remind me of her daughter.

“She’s awake.” They were the most beautiful words I had ever heard in my life. We were all half-dozing on the hard chairs of the hospital lobby when the doctor came in to tell us. Mrs. Carter grabbed my hand and squeezed, both of us letting out a long breath.

“Thank God,” I heard someone behind me whisper, and more than one hand moved to rest on my shoulder.

“When can we see her?” Her mother asked, brokenly. The doctor frowned, looking us all over with distaste.

“Family only,” she replied. “At least for the time being. Alexia is awake, but she doesn’t remember anything about the night of her attack, so don’t push her. Let’s focus on her getting better first.” Family only. I cursed the hospital and their damn policies.

“I want this young man to go in my place,” Alexia’s mother said, putting a hand on my arm.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t allow that,” the doctor started to say.

“Bullshit,” she replied. “I worked in a hospital for 15 years, young lady, so don’t tell me what you can and cannot do. I know my daughter and I know what’s best for her, so give me the papers that I know you have that will let Justin go in my place.” All of us were very impressed by this woman, coming in and taking everything over.

“No, Mrs. Car…” I stopped when she shot me a death look. “Um, Lilly….you’re her mother, you should go see her.”

“She would rather see you,” she assured me, patting my arm softly. Without waiting for the doctor to reply, she got up and walked over to the main desk to get the papers she was talking about. I could see where Alexia had gotten her stubborn streak.

Alexia

I hated having to stay in one place for too long. The hospital bed was like a prison, and ever since I had woken up from what they said was a minor coma, I just stared out the window, trying to jog back the bit of memory that I had seemingly lost from the night before. “Selective amnesia” the doctor called it. She said that my mind was trying to block out the unpleasantness that I had experienced, and that it would probably come back gradually. I touched the tender skin on my face, flinching at the pain. I wasn’t sure I wanted to remember whatever it was that my mind didn’t want to bring back.

“Miss Carter?” the soft voice made me turn in surprise. I hadn’t heard anyone call me by my last name in so long that I had almost forgotten that I had one. I turned to blink at the doctor, the one eye that wasn’t swollen shut trying to focus on her face.

“What?” I croaked, unable to speak clearly. Apparently my assailant had gotten his hands around my neck, and the after effect was that my voice was very hoarse and scratchy. I guessed I was lucky that I had gotten away alive, but at that moment, I wondered why he hadn’t just killed me.

“Your mother is here…” she started to say, and stopped when she noticed the shocked look on my face.

“My MOTHER?” I whispered, shaking my head. What in the world was SHE doing there?

“Yes, but…” she started to say, but was cut off by the most beautiful sound in the world.

“Lexi?” My boyfriend shoved his way past the doctor and into my room, his face tight with worry. I saw the emotions flicker in his eyes when he saw me. It was unfortunate that I could read him so well. His eyes showed surprise, disgust, sorrow, anger…guilt?…and finally sympathy as he moved to my side, wiping his lids with the back of his hand.

“Justin,” I whispered, reaching out for him.

“But, she decided to send Mr. Timberlake in her place,” the doctor finished. “I’ll be back when it’s time for him to leave.” She left the room without a care from either of us. Justin was clutching my hand tightly, his other hand brushing the hair back from my forehead.

“I was so scared,” he murmured, brokenly as he cupped my cheek in his head. His fingertips grazed over the bruise there, then moved to the cut above my eye and around the swollen skin of my right eye. “I don’t think I’ve ever been that scared, Lexi.” I reached up to wipe a tear from his cheek.

“I’m ok,” I whispered, seeing as that was all I could do. “A little banged up, but I’m ok, baby.” Why did he continue to have that flash of guilt in his eyes?

“I can’t…I don’t even….God.” He shook his head in disbelief. I knew what he was trying to say. He couldn’t even fathom this happening, like it was all a dream. I knew how he felt.

“I don’t remember anything,” I admitted, holding back a sob. “I don’t even know if the person…if they…” Before I could finish, Justin pulled me into his arms, and we cried together, pulling on each other’s strength to keep us going.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” he whispered against my hair, his hands restless across my back. It hurt to sit up, but all I wanted at that moment was to be in his arms. It was the only place I felt safe.

“You wouldn’t be disgusted?” I asked, unable to look at him. “I mean, if he had raped me, I could be pregnant or have some disease or…”

“Lexi!” Justin gasped, holding me tighter against him. “You could never disgust me. Whatever happened, we’ll deal with. Together…ok?” I nodded silently, another tear spilling down my cheek.

Justin pulled back a bit to study me thoroughly, his faze moving across the bruises and cuts on my face, down to the hand-shaped bruise across my throat. His hands moved down my arms to my hands, where he studied the rope burn on my wrists. When he finally looked back into my eyes, the pain reflected there made me cry out and pull him against me again. It was very strange, feeling more pain for Justin than myself. I had never seen him look that lost before, so out of control. It killed me inside.

“I’m going to find the son of a bitch that did this, Lexi,” he assured me, his hand pressing against the back of my head as he held me to his shoulder. “And when I do, I’m going to kill him.”

God must have been smiling on me the night I was attacked. All of the tests that the hospital performed on me came back negative. After some more poking and prodding, they also discovered that there was no evidence of forced entry, so it appeared that I hadn’t been raped. Despite my relief, I still was troubled that I couldn’t remember anything from that night. I wanted to see the guy’s face, I wanted to know who I should focus my hate on. Plus, there was a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach that I couldn’t quite shake, no matter how much I tried. I had a feeling that it will all fall into place if I could just remember…

“They’re letting you out of ICU today,” Justin announced cheerfully, opening the curtains to let some of the sunshine in. I sat up a bit to watch the family of birds that had settled on a branch just outside of my window.

“So I’ll get to see everyone?” I asked hopefully. He grinned and nodded.

“They sure have been waiting long enough,” he told me, his voice trailing off. “Your mother has too.” It had been a couple of days since my attack, and I knew the whole gang had been in and out of the lobby, waiting to see when I would be able to have visitors. Justin also told me that some fans had also somehow found out where we were and were congregating outside, making themselves a nuisance for hotel security. We both laughed at that, knowing that our fans wouldn’t give up for anything….God love ‘em.

“So I have to see her, huh?” I grumbled, a vision of my mother’s face in my mind.

“Yes, and after you’re done, you can also tell me why you don’t want to see her.” He was trying to sound light, but I could tell he had been thinking about this for awhile now. I never talked about my family, not to Justin, not to anybody. I didn’t want to start now.

“We’ll see, baby,” I replied, not taking my eyes off of The Robinson’s, which is what I had started to call the family of birds.

“Lexi,” his voice suddenly turned serious as he moved to sit on the end of my bed and took my hand in his. “You know you can trust me, right?” The intensity of his blue eyes usually had me trembling, but there was that flash of now-familiar guilt again.

“Of course I can, baby,” I murmured, cupping his cheek in my hand. “And I promise, I’ll tell you all about my mother…just not now, ok?” He seemed to accept that and nodded dutifully.

“Well, I’d better go see when they’re going to move you,” he finally sighed, leaning over to kiss my cheek. I pouted.

“That was supposed to be a kiss? I must look worse than I…” His lips interrupted what I was going to say next, kissing me with a longing that only I could understand. I sighed into his mouth, reliving the taste of his kiss after what seemed like so long without it.

Justin

Two weeks later, Alexia was finally able to sit up in her own bed. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to get out of the house and get back into the swing of things, but the doctors strictly ordered her to just stay in bed. I was relentless during those two weeks. If the doctors said that my girlfriend was going to stay in bed, than stay in bed she was.

“I am so sick of card games,” she sighed that Friday night, tossing the deck to the end of her bed, the cards scattering everywhere.

“Fifty-two card pickup!” I joked, starting to gather the cards myself. “My favorite game.”

“That’s because you’re a freak,” she grinned, her frustrated features softening. I shrugged and stuffed the deck back into its box.

“Takes one to love one,” I told her, leaning over to kiss her softly.

“It must,” she replied, stretching. “So when are you going to let me out of this damn room, Justin? I’m dying in here.”

“Don’t worry, it’ll only be another two years.”

“Justin,” she groaned, obviously not in the mood for my jokes. Her pout weakened my resolve and I finally held my hands up in defeat.

“Ok, ok, but if you tell ANYONE that I told you…”

“Told me what?” she asked, suddenly excited. She pushed the light hair out of her sparkling eyes and watched me carefully.

“Everyone is throwing you a party tonight,” I grinned. “We even rented out the Palace, it should be pretty happening.”

“A party!?” she practically shrieked. “Oh baby, are you serious? Please tell me you’re serious.”

“I’m serious. But DON’T tell anyone I told you!” I wagged a finger at her.

“Who would I tell?” she replied, throwing back the covers and hopping out of bed a little too fast for my taste. I stood from my perch on the end of her bed.

“Lexi, you should really take it slow…” But she was already hidden in the depths of her closet, clothes flying everywhere.

“I’ll take it slow, I promise,” she assured me, stepping out of the mess holding up a sleek black dress that shimmered blue when she turned a certain way. It was an Alexia, part of her clothing line.

“Why don’t I believe you?” I raised an eyebrow. She shrugged and without another word, had skipped into the bathroom to prepare herself for the evening’s festivities.

Even I was amazed at how all-out Kendra, Kristy and Lesa had gone to get this party organized. The things women could do, man, it amazed me everytime. The club was filled with it’s usual laser shows and disco balls, but besides that were huge banners that told Alexia to feel better, and welcomed her back to the scene. The DJ spinning was her favorite local DJ, mixing familiar songs with some modern techno beats to create the perfect mesh of dance music. The drinks were flowing strong, and we had one in our hands before we could say hello.

“Who are all these people?” she asked incredulously, looking around with wide eyes. I followed her gaze and shook my head.

“I have no idea, baby,” I laughed. “I recognize that group over there from Jive….and there’s a few people from Access Hollywood…” She wrinkled her nose, making me laugh again.

“Oh shit, there’s that group….that sucky one, ya know?” she told me, a teasing glint in her eyes. “Nsuck or something?” Sure enough, right by the bar stood my four other halves, happily tossing back a few shots.

“Nstink,” I told her, tucking her hand under my arm and leading her over to the bar.

“ALEX!” Chris wasted no time jumping on her, only to be blocked by me before he could knock her over. He stared at me in confusion for a minute before giving me a huge Chris grin. “Alex’s BODYGUARD!” This time, he tackled me instead, unfazed as I shoved him away and growled menacingly.

“Oh man I missed you guys!” Alexia laughed merrily, giving hugs to all of the guys. “Now who wants to buy me a drink?”

“Another one?” I questioned, motioning to the empty glass in her hand. “Don’t you think you should slow down?”

“Justin, it’s a party,” she informed me as if I were a little kid. “Lighten up.”

“Yeah, Timberlake, lighten up,” Joey grinned, motioning to the bartender so he could buy my girlfriend a drink. I was about to tell him where he could take his comment when a hand clapped on my shoulder.

“Well it’s sure good to see you two out and about,” Joe McIntyre yelled above the music. “We’ve been holding off shooting the video, and man it’s been boring…”

“You STOPPED taping for ME?” Alexia asked, sipping at her new drink. “You didn’t have to do that, Joe.” He shrugged.

“When I have someone in mind to do a video, and she wants to do it….well, she’s gonna do it!”

“Do what exactly?” I wondered aloud, ignoring the elbow that JC planted on my ribs.

“Well I can’t wait to get started again,” Alexia was telling Joe excitedly. “I can’t remember what happened that night, but that day I vaguely remember a slave driver named Joe McIntyre…”

“I plead the fifth,” he said, holding up his hands in defense.

“Is the fifth a tall blonde in a red dress?” I asked, raising my eyebrow at the girl approaching Joe from behind. He turned in surprise to see what I was gawking at and immediately slipped his arm around the girl’s waist.

“Cindy,” he murmured, his voice dropping in tone. “I was hoping you’d be here.” She giggled and pecked him on the cheek, leaving a red mark from her lipstick and making her dress ride up to show some very smooth-looking thighs. Alex had to elbow me in the ribs to get me to look at her again, and I gave her a sheepish grin.

“You know I go anywhere you want me to, Joey,” she giggled again in a voice that was so high it made me cringe.

“Right, well…um, Cindy, this is Alexia and Justin….guys, Cindy.”

“Oh like I don’t know who these two are,” she squealed, pumping Alexia’s hand up and down before taking mine and rubbing my palm with her thumb. “Justin is the hottest guy in the world next to you, Joey,” she told him, winking at me. Hearing her call him "Joey" actually got on my nerves, despite the massive size of her chest. Alexia slipped her hand under my arm.

“Well I must have a biased opinion,” she said, tugging lightly. “Justin, are you ready to go mingle?” I choked back a laugh.

“Sure, baby, let’s go. Nice meeting you, Cindy….Joe, we’ll catch you later.” He nodded his goodbyes and left with the hot blonde on his arm. Alexia and I both watched them leave, sighing.

“Not bad,” I commented.

“No shit,” she replied. We grinned at each other, than moved on to chat with Lesa and Joey. It didn’t bother me anymore that she thought that Joe was all that. It was like having a celebrity crush, I felt the same way about Janet Jackson.

“Ah, Joe McIntyre,” Lesa smiled at my girlfriend. “Pretty sexy, Alex…”

“Isn’t he?” she sighed.

“She made him herself,” I joked, looking toward the bar and almost choking on my champagne. Jen was sitting alone on one of the barstools, staring longingly after Joe and Cindy’s departing back.

“Hm, you think Jen has a thing for Mr. McIntyre too?” Joey asked, also looking at the bar area.

“Oh Jen has always been a Joe fan,” Lesa confirmed. “She’s only recently had a real crush on him….oops.”

“Oops?” I questioned.

“I don’t think I was supposed to tell anyone that,” Lesa laughed. “Oops.”

“Well she’ll have to fight my girl for him.” I gave Lexi a squeeze around her waist and kissed her cheek. “Right baby?” She turned to look at me, and my breath caught in my throat at the fire in her eyes, the blind hatred displayed there. She remembered.

Alexia

The memory of Justin and Jen kissing on the dance floor of the club was so vivid, I felt the pain of it all over again. Just like it had that night, my chest tightened and tears sprang to my eyes, and my first thought was to turn and run. I had done that before. I ran and I ran until I was out of breath and couldn’t run anymore, and only then did I stop, falling onto my knees in the middle of the park that I had wandered into. Only then did I notice how dark and alone it was out there, the only sound being the rustling of the leaves in the wind. I remember wiping my tears with the back of my hands and rubbing my chilly arms in an attempt to get warm. When I finally decided to stand, I was grabbed. I didn’t even hear my attacker approach, just felt his sweaty hands and smelled his putrid breath on my face and body. I was shoved to the ground and backhanded, a cry escaping from my throat as I begged the man not to hurt me. He turned my onto my back then, and as he ripped and my clothing and beat his fist against my flesh, I saw his face. It was pot-marked and drawn into the scowl of an insane man, one on a mission to deface and destroy. Seeing the wild look in his eyes, I knew the man would not hesitate to kill me, and through my cries of terror and my tears, I managed to stop fighting him. Laying there with my back pressed against the damp grass and my mouth covered by a smelly, sweaty hand, I let him remove a majority of my clothing, and just watched as he pawed parts that only a select few have seen. I felt him force my legs apart, and only then did God allow me the blessing of unconsciousness.

Opening my eyes once again, I found myself back at the same club that had started the nightmare. This time, Justin was there, looking as if he was about to say something, but afraid of how I was going to take it. I blinked back tears. Remembering everything that had happened at once was too much, way too much, for my senses, and when he reached out for me, I yelped and jumped back, glaring at my boyfriend as if he was the devil.

“Lexi,” he pleaded, his eyes begging me. I felt myself withdraw from the scene, wishing I could be unconscious once more.

“Justin, we’ll leave you two to talk, ok?” I faintly heard Joey tell him, and watched as he took Lesa’s arm and led her into the crowd, both of them looking over their shoulders at me in question.

“Please talk to me, baby,” Justin tried again, but this time I slapped his hand away.

“How dare you,” I hissed, backing away. “Don’t touch me, don’t EVER touch me!” The feeling that was rising in my chest I could only identify as hysteria. The emotion was becoming a familiar one. Along with it came anger, the anger that came with the memories of the horrible night, and the anger that came with the thought that the one person I had given my trusting heart to had betrayed me.

“If you would just let me explain…” His voice made it worse. It made it so much worse.

“No,” I shook my head, my voice rising and my body itching to run. “I don’t want to hear you explain, Justin. I don’t want to talk to you, I don’t want to see you….my GOD, you lied to me this whole time. You were probably GLAD that I didn’t remember, weren’t you?”

“Of course not, Junior…”

“Don’t CALL ME THAT!” I screamed, drawing the attention of more than a few people around me. “It’s YOUR fault I was attacked that night!” I almost regretted saying that the second it came out of my mouth. Justin’s face pinched in pain, as if he had just been punched in the gut. I looked away, holding out my hand when I saw him move closer. “Just leave me alone,” I growled, turning on my heel and making my way for the door.

Over by the entrance, I saw JC leaning against a bar, talking to a guy that I hadn’t seen in this environment before. A guy with a pot-marked face. I froze, a scream dying in my throat. My hand flew to my neck, and I shook my head in disbelief.

“Justin.” The whisper came out so softly that even I couldn’t hear it. I turned back around, fumbling through the crowd and finally finding my voice, “JUSTIN!”

“Lexi!” He must have heard the urgency in my voice because, like the magic that he always has been, he was by my side in seconds. “Lexi, what’s wrong?”

“He’s here!” I gasped, nodding my head back towards the entrance. “Justin, he’s here…” I was gasping for air and clinging to him as if my life depending on it. I had never been so scared.

“Who’s here, baby, who?” He grabbed my arms and looking into my eyes, his own eyes worried and frightened at my hysteria.

“My attacker,” I breathed, looking out of the corner of my eye. He was walking towards us. I didn’t even think, didn’t say a word, just broke away from Justin and ran for the back door and the safety of the alleyway behind it. I could hide there, I just had to get away.

Justin

The second I saw Alexia run back towards me, I knew something was horribly wrong. One minute she had been angrier than I had ever seen her, and the next she looked so frightened, I thought she was going to pass out. Only when did she say the word “attacker” did I understand. I felt the hate rise in my chest. He was here. I was going to kill him.

My emotions were a scrambled mess as I chased after Alexia, screaming at Todd on my way out back, “TODD HELP!” He must have seen the desperate look on my face because he also gave chase, along with our new sound guy, Chaz. I was grateful for the backup. The cold wind slapped my face as I shoved open the door to the alley, searching frantically for the woman that I loved. I didn’t see her right away and immediately panicked, shouting her name into the night. Todd and Chaz closed the door behind them, also searching for Alexia.

“LEXI!” I shouted again. “God baby, where are you?” I felt my voice choke on the words and finally a garbage tin to my right moved and I saw Alexia poke her brunette head out.

“Justin,” she breathed in relief, shoving the thing over and running to my side. “What do I do, Justin? You’ve got to…” Her voice trailed off as she looked up at me, her eyes focusing on a spot over my shoulder. Her mouth formed into a silent O and before I could turn around, I heard the dull sound of metal hitting bone and just managed to jump away from the heavy form of my bodyguard as he slumped to the ground. Chaz was standing over him holding a gun, the blunt of it pointed downward, and a snarl on his normally nice features.

“Pleasant dreams,” he said, a wicked gleam in his eyes as he looked at his victim. It didn’t take Alexia’s violent shaking at my side to guess that I was looking at my girlfriend’s attacker. It was written all over his ugly, psychotic face. I wanted to ram my fist into his face so many times that even his mother wouldn’t know who he was.

“You,” I hissed. He cocked his head at me and smiled.

“Well of course, Justin,” he grinned, taking a step towards us. “You knew it was me, dude. Hell, you were in on it! Boy did we get a laugh…” The moan that came from Alexia’s throat was the sound of a caged animal and I felt her withdraw from my side, her face pinched in confusion and horror.

“Lexi, no…” I begged as she backed away from me. “Don’t believe him, it’s…”

“What are you talking about, Jus??” he exclaimed, clapping me on the back with the hand that didn’t hold the gun. “We’ve been planning this for months now, and we’ve got her right where you wanted her, don’t we?”

“NO we haven’t, you freak, shut up…” By that time, the horrified Alexia had backed at least three feet away from me and Chaz picked that moment of distraction to make his move, reaching out at a lightening speed to grab her around the neck and pull her back again him. “NO!” I shouted, making a move to go after him, but the gun against Alexia’s forehead stopped me in my tracks. The lump in my throat almost threatened to cut off my breathing as I watched my girlfriend’s eyes widen with terror. She swallowed and said,

“Look you asshole, haven’t you done enough?” Man, I loved her. She was stupid as all hell, but I loved her.

“Shut up you stupid bitch,” he growled into her ear. “Timberlake, you haven’t trained her yet, I see. It’s a shame…” He trailed the butt of the gun down her cheek. “Such a sexy bitch you have. I’ll bet she’s a real wildcat..”

“Shut the fuck up,” I couldn’t help snapping, cringing when he pressed the gun harder against her temple. Todd still didn’t stir from his spot on the ground, and I was starting to run through my options. If I was one of those badass tough guys in the 1800s, I would be able to count the bullets in the gun or something. I wasn’t.

“I think I like you better as a blonde,” he murmured in Alexia’s ear, then without warning stuck out his tongue and ran it up her cheek. She let out a cry and physically shuddered, her hands reaching out to grab the arm around her throat.

“Why are you doing this?” I moaned, the pain and fright in Alexia’s eyes driving me to near insanity. “We trusted you, Chaz.”

“You KNOW him?” she gasped, shutting up when he tightened his grip around her throat.

“You want to know why?” he laughed bitterly. “Oh, Justin Timberlake, you of all people should know why. Don’t you recognize me?” I frowned, studying his pot-marked face.

“Um…you’re Chaz the new sound guy?” I stammered, not knowing what else he expected me to say.

“No.” He shook his head sadly. “I’m Charles, the guy who should have won YOUR spot on the goddamn Mickey Mouse Club nine fucking years ago.” Oh my God. I recognized him then, recognized his marked up face. He had been my only real competition in that audition, the thirteen-year-old boy named Charles. He had a wonderful voice and could act and dance with the best of them, but his acne problem had prevented him from getting the role….my role.

“Holy shit,” was all that came out of my mouth.

“This,” he hissed at me through gritted teeth, motioning around him. “This should be mine. The house, the cars, the fame…the girls…” Alexia let out another cry as his arm tightened again. “You took it from me.”

“I had nothing to do with who judged those auditions, Charles,” I spat out, trying not to rush him and ram my fist into his face. “I’m sorry you lost, but..”

“I DIDN’T LOSE!” he yelled at me. “I was CHEATED out of those auditions, YOU cheated me!” I could tell right away that there would be no arguing with this guy.

I bit my lip, debating on what to do next, what else I could say to distract him, when all of the sudden Todd leapt to his feet and grabbed the gun from Charles’s hand with a speed that I didn’t know he possessed. The gun went off into the air as they struggled, and Alexia immediately ran from his side, falling against the wall and gasping for air. I took the opportunity and drew my fist back, slamming into Charle’s face with as much force as I could muster up. Amazingly, his head flew back and he fell to the ground in an unconscious mess. Somewhere in the distance I saw a flash go off and muttered curses at the media people who weren’t offering their help to people who obviously needed it. I rubbed my sore fist in my hand, staring down at the one man I had every really hated, when I felt Alexia’s soft hand touch my arm. Looking down into her beautiful face, I almost smiled.

“I can see it tomorrow,” I said gruffly, running a hand down her cheek. “’Sexy Justin Timberlake Beat the Hell Out of Psychotic Sound Man’”

“No way,” Alexia argued, shaking her head. “It will probably say something like ‘NSYNC Superstar Has Violent Streak’”

“My luck,” I muttered, reaching out to shake Todd’s hand, who was shaking as badly as we were. “Thank you so much, man, you saved our…” As I said it, Charles’s hand shot out and grabbed the forgotten gun, rising to his feet before we had a chance to say a word.

Alexia

I could see the murderous intent in my attacker’s eyes before he took action. Without thinking, I grabbed Justin’s hands and we both turned to dive behind the solid metal trash bins, almost as if we were moving in slow motion. Milliseconds after we had ducked down, the gun started firing at a rapid pace and I found myself huddled against Justin, clinging to him for dear life as we literally dodged bullets behind the trash bins of a downtown LA club. It was like a bad soap opera, a poorly-written action film, a really cheesy fan fiction story. At any rate, it all seemed to go by in slow motion until finally, a silence fell over the alleyway. Todd had passed out again, the blood from his wound dripping over his collar, and all Justin and I could do was listen to figure out what would happen next.

“Oh don’t think you can stay back there forever!” Charles cackled. I heard the chamber of his gun opening and the distinctive sound of more bullets being placed inside. “I have plenty of ammunition back here, Timberlake, so this is your call. What’s it gonna be?” Justin snuck an angry look over the top of the trash bin and was met by a gun shot that barely missed his ear. I yelped and pulled him back down.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I hissed at him. Justin’s eyes pleaded with me.

“Lexi, I…”

“Come on, Timberlake, I only want you, you fucking coward,” Charles was taunting him. “Here you are, putting your woman in danger to save your own skin, what a loser…”

“Why that little…”

“JUSTIN!” I grabbed his arm again, anticipating his move. “Please don’t, he’s just trying to rile you up.”

“It’s working,” he grumbled. “Lexi, we’ve got to do something, he’ll kill us both if we stay back here.”

“Someone will find us,” I protested.

“Yeah, and get killed in the process,” he answered, logically, ducking again as another two bullets slammed into the brick above our heads. “That’s it.”

“Justin, what are you doing?” I was starting to panic. The look in his eyes was determined, and whatever he was planning, there was no stopping him.

“Here,” he thrust a brick into my hand. “When I give the word, I want you to throw this at him as hard as you can.”

“It’ll never reach him.”

“No, but it will distract him.” Justin was sizing up our predicament. “Promise me you’ll do it?”

“Tell me what you’re doing!” I snapped, and another bullet hit the wall. He just shook his head.

“Whatever happens, you just get out of here, you run, hear me?” he pleaded with me from his crouched position, backing up against the wall even further.

“What about you?” Yes, I was mad at Justin for what he did to me that night, but he was still the man that I loved. He still represented my entire world and everything that I stood for and everything I ever hoped to be. If anything happened to him, that world would collapse.

“I’ll be fine, just throw the brick, ok?” He was peering in between the bins.

“Justin…” I started to say, then lowered my voice. “Curly…there has to be another way to handle this. If anything happens to you…”

“Shh.” He immediately pulled me into his arms, hugging me against him so closely that all I could breathe was his familiar scent. He took a deep breath and pulled back, looking me in the eye. “I love you, Alexia Carter. I love you more than anything. Always remember that.”

“I love you too,” I choked, barely having time to tell him how I felt before he took his position at the edge of the bin.

“When I say go, ready?” He nodded at me and I held up the brick. “1…2….3…GO!” Without thinking, I rose up an inch and heaved the brick as hard as I could at Charles. His alarm was evident and he shot at me, forcing me back down to my hiding spot. I heard Justin let out a shout as he dove at Charles, watching him throw his arms up to his face as he charged. Charles barely had time to react before Justin reached him and just as he had gathered his wits once again, Justin’s shoulder had slammed into his chest and they both fell to the ground in a heap, the gun sliding away from the two scrappling bodies. Justin had the upper hand, being the larger of the two, and the one with the most anger, but Charles had insanity on his side. Either way, all I could do was stand there and watch as they rolled over and over again, each fighting for the top position. Finally, Justin was on top of Charles, slamming his fists into the man’s face with a force that I didn’t know Justin had in him. Over and over he hit him, yelling obscenities and trying not to lose his own sanity in the process. Charles somehow managed to reach out and nearly grab the fallen gun, but Justin put an elbow to his chest that stopped him in his tracks. Grabbing the gun in his own hands, Justin pressed the butt to Charles’s temple, his hands shaking like leaves.

“You fucker,” he breathed, his face contorted in rage. “How dare you touch her? How dare you..”

“Justin,” I finally spoke, quietly so as not to startle him. “Justin, it’s over, it’s ok.”

“It’s not ok, Lexi!” he shouted. “He HURT you, he tried to kill us, he deserves to rot in hell!” I took another step towards them, seeing Charles’s eyes, crazy with fear.

“That’s not our decision to make, baby,” I told him soothingly. “Now give me the gun.”

“No,” Justin trembled. “They’ll just let him go, I can shoot him and it would be self defense, no one would know…”

“You would know,” I pointed out, trying not to let my own fear get the best of me. Justin was scaring me, but at the same time, my love for him grew even more. He was frightened and angry and ready to kill someone…all because of me. It was a very bad time to be flattered, but I was none the same.

Finally I stood behind my boyfriend and carefully slid my hands across his shoulders and down his arms, closing my hands over his shaking hands. The gun trembled against Charles’s temple.

“Shh, baby it’s ok,” I whispered into his ear, slowly retrieving the gun from his grip. Charles and I both sighed when I finally had it, but looking into his crazy eyes once again, remembering the horrible things he had done to me, made me want to shoot him myself. He was lucky I never got the chance. As we all tried to slow our breathing, the back door opened and police swarmed the alleyway. I only had enough time to hand over the gun before I collapsed into Justin’s arms, sinking with him to the ground and sobbing out my fear against his comforting chest. I felt the tremble of his shoulders and knew he was crying too, but it was ok. It was all going to be ok.

“God, Alexia, I am so sorry, baby,” he sobbed into my hair. “I don’t deserve to breathe the same air as you do, you have every right to hate me, but I just love you so much and if I ever lost you, if I lost what we have..”

“Shut up,” I told him, looking up at him with a grim expression. “I think we have a lot of talking to do when we get home, Justin, I won’t deny that. But I also know that I’m going to forgive you, just because I love you so much, and you’re worth it to me.” His arms around me clutched me tighter against him as the breath rushed from his body. We shook back and forth, not even noticing the chaos around us as we drank from each other’s strength and took comfort in the love we shared. Tomorrow, I told myself. We can talk about everything tomorrow.

Justin

We didn’t get back to the hotel until about three in the morning. After fighting off the media, taking Todd to the hospital, and filing the police reports, I think Alexia and I both felt like we had been run over by a semi with spikes in the tires…twice.

“Mmm, I never want to leave this room again,” she sighed as she lowered herself to the king-sized bed and cuddled up to my pillow. Her eyes closed, her lashes fanning across the apple of her cheek as she sighed again. I couldn’t resist running the tips of my fingers down her beautiful face. She looked like an angel.

“Then let’s stay here forever,” I said, my voice husky with emotion. I couldn’t believe how close I had come to losing Alexia, whether it had been to the attacker or to my own stupidity with Jen. Either way, I had to be the luckiest guy alive.

“You’ve got a deal,” she smiled, her eyes still closed as she lifted her hand to stroke my fingers. I was still staring down at her when one of her eyes opened and peered at me. “What are you doing all the way up there, Curly?” she practically purred, patting the pillow. “Lay down with me.”

“There’s nothing I would rather be doing,” I grinned, immediately taking the pillow out of her hands and crawling into bed in front of her. I kissed her forehead before settling myself on my back, taking special care to see that Alexia was comfortable as she cuddled up to my side.

“I just want to forget any of this every happened,” she finally said after a few minutes of companionable silence. Her breath fanned my cheek and I couldn’t resist planting a kiss on her nose. “The club, the park, the alleyway, the ki…” Her voice trailed off and I felt her body stiffen. Tears stung my eyes as I realized how very much I had hurt her by kissing Jen that night. I still had no idea what had come over me, what had possessed me to touch someone that wasn’t Alexia.

“You won’t be able to forget it, will you?” I asked, tightening my arms around her. She blinked once, than slowly shook her head.

“No, probably not as easily as I had hoped,” she said, softly, the fingers of her left hand tangling in the fingers of my right. “Justin, your hands…” I frowned at the alarm in her voice and lifted my hand to examine. They were scraped and cut up at the knuckles. I flexed the hand to test the pain and found that it actually really hurt.

“It’s nothing,” I told her, attempting manliness. “Just a few scrapes.”

“For me,” she whispered. “You did that for me.”

“I did it to save our lives,” I pointed out, wondering how she could have known that she was all I had been thinking about when I was smashing that guy’s face in.

“Of course you did,” she smiled at me knowingly. After a few minutes of grinning at each other, I finally reached out and kissed her, not able to hold back any longer. She caressed my cheek as her lips moved under mine until we finally broke apart, our foreheads pressed together.

“I love you,” I whispered to her.

“You’d better,” she chuckled. “After all we’ve been through, I think you’re stuck with me.” I was about to start singing Hewy Lewis and the News when a knock sounded on the door.

Alexia groaned loudly and rolled over so I could get up.

“Who in the hell…” I was grumbling when I pulled the door open to find a very sheepish looking Jen standing there, shifting her weight from foot to foot. “Jen?”

“Hi, Justin,” she said softly. “Can I come in?”

“Uh, Lexi’s here,” I said immediately, feeling the heat rush to my face. Would this never end? Jen coughed and I could have sworn I saw a smile.

“Of course she is, you goof,” she replied, finally smiling. “I want to talk to both of you.”

“Justin, who…oh.” Alexia had gotten out of bed to see who I was talking to. “Jen, I’m glad you got us together and all, but do you think you could stop trying to hit on my boyfriend?” Jen’s face was slowly turning a deep shade of red.

“Alexia, please, I am not hitting on your boyfriend,” she scoffed, moving into the room as I held the door open for her, ignoring the look Alexia was giving me. I was curious as to why Jen was here so late, and figured she wouldn’t have come if it was bad.

“Actually that night was all my fault, baby,” I told my girlfriend with a sigh. “I swear, I’ll explain it all to you later, but please don’t blame Jen, she tried to push me away…” I pretended not to notice Jen’s soft smile.

“Look, you guys, I’m here for a reason, so let me talk, ok?” We both looked at her in surprise and sat on the bed to hear her out. She took a seat on the couch so that she was facing us directly. “Ok, first of all, I wanted to apologize to you, Alexia.”

“To me?” Alex seemed surprised.

“Of course to you.” Jen seemed even more surprised. “It was YOUR boyfriend I kissed that night, and if I hadn’t…” Her voice trailed off and she looked away quickly, her eyes shiny with tears. “Well I just had to say that I’m so sorry for everything. And Justin, I should just stay away from you I think.”

“You don’t have to do that,” I assured her. I would never cheat on Alexia again, that I knew for a fact.

“Really, there’s always trouble when I’m around and we all know it,” she attempted to laugh. “I think it’s better if I just fade into the background.”

“No way, Jen,” Alexia cut in. “Who would be there to actually give us the good interviews?” The tears in Jen’s eyes were starting to pool.

“Really, and who would keep us laughing when things are so frustrating you want to pull your hair out?” I added.

“Is that what happened to your hair?” Jen quipped, breaking the tension. I ran my head over my buzzed head with a wry grin.

“Nah, that was a whim.”

“You guys sure about this?” Jen wanted to know. We both nodded.

“I mean, of course I was mad,” Alexia finally said. “Livid, really.” Her hand reached out to hold mine. “I’m just always scared that I’m going to lose him, you know? And seeing that was like someone reaching down and smacking me in the head saying ‘Oh, you actually thought you’d hold onto this one? Right.’” My hand turned over to tighten around hers.

“You will never lose me, Lexi,” I whispered. “I don’t even deserve you.”

“That’s the smartest thing you’ve ever said, Buzz,” Jen laughed, giving me a new nickname in the process. “So are we all cool here?” Jen and I both looked at Alexia, who looked from her to me, her features softening.

“Yeah,” she murmured. “We’re cool.” I couldn’t resist pulling her into a tight hug, then pulling her up so we include Jen in on it.

“Aw, group hug,” Jen joked, patting me on the back.

“You know, if you girls ever wanna….ya know….” I wiggled my eyebrows and motioned to the bed.

“No, Justin!” they both exclaimed, laughing with a new gusto.

“Jen?” A new voice broke into the conversation and we turned to see….Joe McIntyre!….sticking his head into the room. “Hey you guys made up yet? I’m bored.”

“Hey Joe!” I reached out to shake his hand. “Welcome to the party.”

“Sorry to party and run,” he grinned, giving Alexia a kiss on the cheek. “BUT I’m going to take the little one and get back to my own hotel if that’s alright with y’all.”

“Fine with me,” Jen grinned. Alexia and I looked back and forth between the two of them grinning at each other.

“Wait, you’re taking her back to your hotel room?” Alex gasped. “Joseph, I’m shocked.”

“Joseph, I’m proud!” I grinned, pounding him on the back.

“Joseph, I’m ready,” Jen announced. “Can we go?”

“Aw yeah, baby,” he smiled down at her. Winking at us, he said his goodbyes and quickly escorted Jen out of the room, starry eyed the whole way.

“Well who’d of thunk it?” Alexia smiled, reaching her hand out to me. I took it and let her lead me back to bed, where we promptly fell asleep tangled against each other.

Alexia

Two months later, I was still waking up in Justin's arms, and things could not have been better. It was the last day of the tour, and neither of us could wait to get back to his house in Orlando, where we would spend two weeks just enjoying each other. Even though I was only a face on the tour, it had worn me out almost as much as it had the performers, and I was ready to relax. The incessant pounding on our hotel room door in St. Louis, MO wasn't making it very easy.

"Who in hell could that be?" I groaned, pressing my face into Justin's chest to try and block out the sound. Amazingly, he was already awake and patted my head patiently.

"Don't worry, baby, I'll get it," he answered, smoothly untangling himself from my arms and legs so he could get up to answer the door. I couldn't resist peeking at his well-formed body as he moved across the room. The only thing on his form was a pair of grey sweatpants, and I could do nothing in my sleepy state but admirer the smooth expanse of his shoulders and the smooth skin of his back. His ass wasn't so bad either.

"Johnny," I heard Justin groan from the doorway. "What are you DOING here?" I pulled a pillow over my head to try to block out the sound of Johnny storming into the room. It didn't work.

"Wake up," he growled at me, pulling the pillow out of my hands. I can just imagine how I must have looked, wild hair and red eyes staring venemously up at my boyfriend's manager at 8 o'clock in the morning.

"What now?" I groaned, rolling over and cuddling up to the other pillow.

"Oh take a wild guess," Johnny sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed and tossing a newspaper at my head.

"Gee, would you like me to look at this, Johnny?" I grumbled, pulling it off my head so I could look at it. Justin sat next to me to peer over my shoulder.

POPSTAR JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE POPS THE QUESTION

I gaped at the blatantly made-up headline, along with a picture of Justin and I. He was on one knee, lifting something up, while I looked down at him with a huge grin on my face. It was obviously a fake picture and I felt the usual rush of anger returning to my chest.

"Johnny, this is SO fake," I laughed, pointing to a part of the picture where the colors didn't blend together. "Look at that, it's so obvious, it's funny."

"You two can't be pulling stunts like this without telling me," he continued, ignoring my protests. "I've already had to deal with enough crap about your relationship without surprises like THIS being thrown in my face!"

"Johnny, really, I think you should just..."

"Here, Lexi," Justin said softly, his breath brushing against my ear. "Let's read the article and see what they have to say." I turned to look at him questioningly. He just shrugged and turned his attention back to the tabloid. "Just for shits and giggles."

"Ok, baby, whatever you say," I laughed, slowly opening the paper. My eyes widened considerably and I think my jaw must have been setting a record as to how wide it was open. The inside of the paper was just a blank page, but in clear black letters, across the entire page, it said,

"ALEXIA, WILL YOU MARRY ME? I LOVE YOU" with Justin's signature gracing the bottom of the page. Underneath it, held up with enough scotch tape to start a factory, was a beautiful diamond ring.

"Justin?" My breath caught in my throat as I stared at the paper, my fingers tracing over the ring. I couldn't believe that I hadn't felt the weight of it before then.

"Yes, baby?" he whispered from behind me, taking my right hand in his.

"Did you...what are you....oh my God." The door suddenly shut loudly, and my head shot up to see that Johnny had left. The tears that had been welling up in my eyes started to spill over.

"Alexia," Justin's soft voice wrapped around me. "Don't cry, baby, please don't cry." I finally turned my face to him, my eyes searching his for some sort of clue that it was a joke.

"How can I not cry?" I whispered back, looking back at the faked-tabloid. "How did you do this?" Justin laughed, pulling his hand from me. It was shaking, his hand was shaking. He was nervous!

"Pulled a few strings, gave a few interviews," he shrugged. "Can we discuss the particulars later, Lex? The suspense is killing me." The love in his beautiful eyes overwhelmed me and I had to close my own to absorb it all.

"You want to marry me?" I asked, still not able to believe it.

"No, I want to get a dog," he teased, then seemed to pull himself together. "Yes, Alexia Jean, I want to marry you. I want to have children with you, I want to hold you everynight and wake up to your beautiful face every morning." A sob escaped from my throat as he continued. "I want to share everything with you, from Britney's bulemia.."

"It was bulemia??" I gasped suddenly, realizing that he had just told me the big secret that had gotten us into so many fights before. He nodded and continued.

"I want to grow old with you, I want to cook dinner with you everynight and kiss you before bed, and take showers with you in the morning...I want to tell our grandchildren the stories that we have and the times we've shared...I want..."

"JUSTIN," I interrupted, openly crying. "Shut up, you babbling fool, of course I'll marry you!" It was his turn to look surprised.

"You will?" His grip on my fingers tightened considerably. Shaking and crying, I gathered him to me and held his head against my chest.

"God yes," I whispered against his hair. "I can't imagine my life any other way than sharing it with you." His arms wrapped around my back as he finally let himself cry with me.

"I love you," we whispered together.

And so we sat, crying like the sentimental idiots we were, clutching each other as if we never wanted to let go. This time, it was different. Justin had become an addiction to me, a habit that I couldn't imagine breaking, no matter how many times our love had been put to the test. Each time, we had pulled through. This time....this time, we wouldn't have to let go.

The End

Tell Jen what you thought of this story!