After All

By: Foxy Lady

The minute she heard the words come out of his mouth, she knew it must be some kind of cruel joke. The look on her friend's face told her that it wasn't. His light green eyes were filled with too much sadness for it not to be true. Jamie was leaving. He would no longer be just down the street from her. Laughing and talking with her to all hours in their tree house. He was moving. Abigail brushed away a tear that was starting to creep out her eye.

The young man standing pulled the girl into his arms. "Abby, please don't cry. You're still my best friend. We'll write letters and emails. There is always the telephone. Just remember if you ever need me, I'll be here."

The girl nodded against his chest trying to will the tears to stop. She knew this was his dream. He had always enjoyed singing. Even though she would miss having her best friend around, she knew this would make him happy. "When do you leave?"

The young man sighed. "In the morning." He looked down when he felt her lift her head.

"So soon," she whispered.

"I know, but listen we have tonight. Why don't we just stay here in our tree house and have one of our talks." The young man sat down and leaned against the wall. Reaching up he pulled Abigail down so she was sitting leaning against him. For the next few hours, they talked as if nothing major was about to happen. Both of them trying to forget that in the morning Jamie would be gone.

During a moment of silence, he lay his head on hers and sighed. "I think I will miss this the most."

Looking up, she whispered, "What?"

Kissing the top of her head, he whispered, "Just sitting here like this with you talking about nothing at all."

"Me too, Jamie." Abigail sighed as her brown eyes closed. She had been fighting sleep, but could not fight it anymore. She knew in the morning her best friend, the boy she loved, would be gone. Nothing would change that.

Five years passed from that last night they spent in each other's arms. At first, the two of them kept in touch. Phone calls and email were exchanged daily, but as the years passed each of them moved on. Abigail with her schooling, and Jamie with his career the two drifted apart.

During one of Abigail's breaks from school, she came home to visit her parents. They still lived in the same house, and the Bass' still lived down the street with the little tree house in between the two. During her trips home, Abigail would venture to that place and sit. Remembering her green eyed Jamie that everyone now knew as Lance. She wondered if he hadn't left for the group all those years ago if they had gotten married by now. She always knew that she loved him, but had never told him so.

Abigail sat in the kitchen watching her mother cook and prepare a basket of food. "Abby, dear, I need you to run this over to Diane. She needs all the help she can this week."

Abigail wondered at that statement, but let it slide. She picked up the basket, and began to walk out the door. "I'll be back in a little bit, mom."

"Take your time dear. No big rush."

Stepping on the front porch, Abigail took a deep breath. One of the many things she missed at home was the air. In Los Angeles, the air was always full of smog. She was attending UCLA on scholarship, a journalism major. Although creative writing was her first love. She walked quickly to the neighbors house about a quarter mile from her own. As she got closer she noticed a few strange cars in the driveway. Perhaps they had company visiting. that would explain the basket.

Walking up the steps to the front porch, she readied her hand to knock, when the door flew open and a young man with curly blonde hair followed by a shorter dark haired man came running out. "I am going to get you, Curly."

She stepped aside and watch the two men run all over the front yard. She turned back to the front door when she heard a light laugh. "Hi, beautiful."

Letting out a soft giggle of her own, she motioned to the basket. "I am here to drop this off with Diane. My mom sent it over. I think I see why she said Diane would need it."

The young dark haired man reached out and took the basket from her hands. "I'm Joey, and those two are Chris and Justin."

"Abigail. My family lives next door. It was nice meeting you, but I better be getting back." She turned and began to step of the porch when she was stopped by someone stepping in front of her.

"Leaving so soon. We are all bored and you're the first new person to pop in that is actually near our age," the young curly haired man said.

The short dark haired jumped up. "Yeah, come to the backyard. Josh and Lance are in the pool."

Lance? Jamie was here? "He's home?" Abigail whispered.

"Yep. We are on break, so we decided to come out here for a few days. Who knew Mississippi could be so boring," the short man laughed. "I'm Chris, by the way."

Abigail nodded. "Yes, Joey told me. I'm Abigail." Reaching out her hand, she shook his and Justin's before turning back to the house. Just on the other side of that structure was her Jamie.

Justin shook his head thoughtfully for a second. "Wait a minute. You're Abigail? Guys, this is Abby. You know the girl Lance always would talk about when we were in Europe."

Abigail felt her heart jump into her throat. "He talked about me?" She looked down at her feet.

There was an awkward moment of silence before the screen door opened. "Abby, dear. I was starting to wonder if you had made it. Your mom called after you left. Now I see what happened. These boys already kidnapped the food." Diane stepped aside and opened the door so that the group from outside could enter.

"Hi, Diane. Yes, Joey took it hostage the minute I was on the porch. I guess the stories about my mother's famous double fudged brownies have been told here." Abigail stepped inside and her ears almost instantly recognized the sound of laughter from the back.

"Double fudge...," Justin reached over to the basket and began to dig through it.

Abigail reached over and slapped his hands. "Down, Curly."

Justin looked over at her with a slight pout on his face. "Oh, come on, Abby. Just one."

Abigail laughed as she ventured closer to the patio door. She stood and watched the scene outside. She could see Lance in the pool laughing at something the other man said. She stood there and remembered their last few moments together all those years ago.

The sun filtered through the tree house window and Abigail opened her eyes slowly. She could feel arms surrounding her and knew that this would be the last time she would feel them. Everything would be changing in a few short moments. She raised her head and looked up into the eyes of the boy who was her best friend. The boy she wanted to be so much more, but that would not be happening.

"I've got to go, Abby," he whispered, putting his arms around her tighter.

"I know," she whispered, her heart breaking. Standing up, she brushed her pants off. She helped him up, and stood in front of him. "Jamie..." She was interrupted by his finger touching her lips, and before she knew what was happening he was kissing her softly.

When he lifted his head, she could see the unshed tears in his eyes. He then turned away and left the tree house leaving her there to shed her own tears alone.

She shook her head at the memory. The two men outside had gotten out of the pool and were walking toward the house. She stepped back from the patio door and walked back towards the counter. She noticed Justin and Chris watching her from the corner of her eye. "So who wants a brownie?" She reached for the basket and pulled the pan out from the bottom.

She heard the patio door open behind her and the two men enter. She closed her eyes as she heard the voice that spoke next. "What happened to you guys? We were starting to wonder if we lost one lead singer."

Joey walked up behind her. "Well, this beautiful thing here came bearing another beautiful thing... double fudge brownies."

She let out a soft giggle. "On the one count you are correct. Mom's brownies are beautiful."

She heard the small gasp behind her. "Abby?" She felt the hand touch her shoulder, and she slowly turned. He looked even better than he did when he was sixteen. However, when she looked into his green eyes she saw the same boy.

"Hello, Jamie." She took a step forward and wrapped her arms around him. "It is nice to see my best friend again," she whispered. she felt his arms tighten around her. In his arms, she felt perfect. A feeling she had missed for the past five years. She didn't want it to end, but she knew it had to so she stepped back. "Mom sent over a basket of goodies for you boys."

Lance stepped up and lay his hand on the small of her back. "Thank her for us."

Abigail nodded. "Justin already enjoyed the brownies." She could feel his hand through her light blouse. Looking back at him, she smiled softly.

Diane walked over and placed a glass of lemonade in front of her. "You are staying for dinner, dear. Your parents are going out."

Taking a sip, she nodded. "Okay." Standing in the kitchen, she felt like she was fifteen again eating dinner with the Bass' after school, but she wasn't fifteen anymore. Neither was he. She glanced back and her mouth went dry. When had he developed a chest like that.

"Your mother says you are here on break." Diane busied herself pulling the rest of the food out of the basket.

"Yes, Diane. Spring Break. I go back in a few days, but then I will be back here after graduation in a couple of months."

Justin spoke up with a mouthful of brownie. "Where do you go to school?"

"UCLA. Full scholarship," she replied.

Lance's smile grew big. "You always wanted to go to school there. What's your major?"

"Journalism, but you know I still dream of writing the great American novel someday."

Lance nodded as he reached for the pan of brownies. "You were always good at writing stuff."

A short time later the whole group sat down together to eat dinner. Abigail told them all about her schooling and her friends at UCLA, and the guys told her about all the crazy stuff they did. Over the next few days, Abby spent time with the five young men next door. She knew it wouldn't last much longer. She had to get back to school, and they had to get back on tour. She wished it didn't have to be that way, but it was and there was nothing she could do to change it.

With Lance, it felt as if no time had passed though. All she had to do was stare into those green eyes and she was sixteen again in love with the boy next door that suddenly went away. If only... Abigail shook her head trying to free her mind of the thoughts of a life with her Jamie. He wasn't hers anymore. He was now Lance, famous international pop star. He was not the same boy that she used to laugh and talk with. Not the same boy she used to dream of kissing.

Sitting up in bed, she looked out her window at the quiet night. Tomorrow she would leave and return to her life in LA, and he would leave and return to his life... somewhere. Getting up from her bed, she slipped on her shoes and grabbed her coat. she knew she would never sleep tonight. Perhaps a walk would help. She crept slowly down the stairs so she would not disturb her parents. Once out the back door, she looked around. Over the distance, she thought she could hear the sounds of laughter, but knew it was impossible.

Abigail began walking toward the property next door. It was a route she had walked many times over her lifetime. She could almost do it with her eyes closed. Before she knew it, she was at the tree house. Their tree house. They had spent so many days and nights here. Studying, talking, sharing their lives like best friends do.

Slowly she made her way up the tree and into the tree house. Abigail walked over and stood at the railing, leaning on it so she could look at the sky above. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a shadow move. She turned around and faced the inside of the structure. "Who's there?" The shadow moved closer to her, and she finally recognized the cat like eyes she had learned so long ago. "Jamie?"

He reached out and stroked her cheek with his thumb. "It's me Abby."

With that one small gesture, the tears began to fall down her face. She didn't even know they were there just beneath the surface. Covering her face, she turned her back to him. She had promised herself she would not do this, and especially not in front of him.

He reached out and touched her back trying to get her to turn towards his embrace, but she shrugged his hand away. "Abby, please don't cry."

She shook her head and wiped at her eyes. Turning slowly, she looked up at him. "You can't ask me not to cry, Jamie. Do you know how much I cried five years ago?" He shook his head. "I cried all of the time. I missed you so much. Yes, there were the letters and the phone calls, but even those hurt me. That is why I stopped writing you. It hurt me too much to know that you were off somewhere and not here with me." Lance took a step closer and reached out to take her in his arms, but again she stopped him. "I need to say it all, Lance. Before I lose the courage."

He nodded. She was glad he kept silent. If he said anymore she would not be able to say what she needed to say. To tell him what she should have told him all those years ago. "Do you ever think about what your leaving did to me? I know you had to go. I know you would be happy, but even knowing all that I had lost everything. I had lost my best friend, my confidant, the boy I...," she closed her eyes and paused before continuing. Abby knew the next word out of her mouth would change everything. When she opened her eyes, she found him standing just inches from her. She didn't know how he had gotten so close without her knowing it, but now there he was his mouth just inches from hers as she spoke the last word, "loved."

Abigail reached up and ran her fingers over his lips for a brief moment. She had just done the one thing she had promised herself she would never do. After he had left all those years ago, she swore to herself that she would never tell him. The silence of the night surrounded them. Shaking her head, she took a step back. "What did I just do? You are not the same person that left me here in this very place five years ago. You are, Lance, pop icon, not the Jamie I once knew. you can have any woman in the world. I need to go before I even make a bigger fool of myself." She began to walk towards the tree house exit, but felt a hand on her arm stop her.

When she turned, Abigail closed her eyes, not wanting to see the face before her. "Abby, I'm still that same person. I always will be." He reached up and touched her cheek. "I missed you so much. All those nights in lonely hotel rooms, going to places we had talked about seeing someday. I wanted to share it all with you. You were everything to me, Abby girl. You still are. The past few days brought all back to me. I remembered your smile, your laugh, how I felt when you looked at me. I remembered how much I loved you."

At those last words, Lance pulled Abigail closer to him and lowered his lips to hers. The moment she felt his lips on hers, she knew that this was right, but something deep inside her made her break the kiss. "I can't do this, Jamie. It is five years ago all over again. I won't spend night after night crying over you. It nearly killed me the last time." She turned and climbed down from the tree house.

"Abby, don't go." Lance stood at the railing and watched her as she stopped and looked back up at him. He could see the tears falling down her face.

"Jamie, just do one thing for me."

"Anything."

"Remember that even after all this time I still loved you. I loved you enough to let you go."

As he saw her turn and run away, he whispered, "But I won't let you go."

Abigail returned to her studies in Los Angeles. She had papers to write and tests to take. Her days were filled with school and friends, but her nights were once again filled with sadness and tears. Even though she had told herself she wouldn't do this again, it was unavoidable. She had lost him again.

The last months of her schooling went by quickly, and soon it was time for her to return home. Since her Spring visit, she had heard from the other members of the group. They had each called to check in on her and make sure she was studying hard, but Lance had never called.

Her first night home, she found herself once again sleepless. Giving up before it became a totally lost cause, she pulled on a pair of jeans and her shoes. She once again walked through her backyard, but did not stop at the tree house. she knew that would only be asking for trouble. Abigail continued walking until she found herself at the edge of the property next door. A ball could be heard bouncing on the ground. She walked closer to the sound and saw the familiar figures of the youngest and oldest members of *Nsync. Taking a deep breath, she walked out of the bushes and called out. "Hi, guys."

The two men stopped playing and glanced over. "Abby, is that you?" Justin walked over to look closer.

"Yes, it's me. I was just taking a walk and heard the ball. Decided to investigate. what are you guys doing here?"

"Lance needed to come here to do something, but we leave again tomorrow." Justin put the basketball down on the ground, and wrapped his arms around her. "You know he's missed you."

Not finding herself able to speak, she simply nodded her head. After a few moments of silence, she finally spoke. "I love him so much, justin. I think I have always loved him."

A voice from behind her spoke. "We think he feels the same. In fact, I know he does. you are all he ever talked about for the longest time, and after seeing you again, he couldn't stop," Chris said.

At the sound of the patio door opening, Abigail looked up. She saw the remaining group members coming outside. She stepped back into the bushes. "I can't..." Turning she ran back into the woods surrounding the property.

When the three men reached the basketball court, Justin motioned to the bushes. "Lance, you have to go after her."

At first, Lance looked puzzled. "She was here?"

Justin just nodded, but Chris spoke up. "She loves you, man. Don't let her get away from you this time."

Lance stood silent for a moment. He had promised himself that next time he saw her he would tell her that he didn't want her to let him go. He loved her, always had, and wanted to spend the rest of their lives together.

Chris laid a hand on his shoulder. "Go after her, man."

Not saying a word, Lance walked through the bushes into the woods surrounding his home. The four other men stood there until they could no longer see him.

Abigail ran through the woods with tears streaming down her face. She couldn't keep doing this. Lance and her would never work. He performed concerts every day to thousands of screaming fans. He wouldn't want her. She finally found herself at the tree house. Climbing, she sat down in the back corner and continued sobbing.

That is how Lance found her. His heart broke as heard the sobs through the air. Not even aware of his approach, Abigail continued to cry. Lance lowered himself to the floor next to her waiting for her to notice his presence. It didn't take long for her to raise her head and look at him.

Reaching out her hand she spoke, "Now I know I've lost it. I'm seeing things." When she touched solid flesh, Abigail let out a soft gasp. Standing up, she walked to the other side of the tree house before turning back to face him. "What are you doing here?"

Lance stood and walked over to her. He reached up to touch her cheek, but she took another step back. "Abby girl, why do you keep running from me?" Not knowing how to answer him, she shook her head. Lance reached out again, as he saw the tears leave her eyes. "Abby girl, stop running." He pulled her into his embrace. When she lifted her face to look into his eyes, he smiled. "I love you enough not to let you go."

It was at that moment Abigail knew she couldn't keep running. Her place was with this man. Her Jamie. This was where she belonged. Held in the safety of his arms. "Then don't let go of me Jamie."

Lowering his mouth to hers, he whispered against her lips, "I don't plan on it."

The End

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