6, 8, 12

By: Ari

Do you ever think about me / Do you ever cry yourself to sleep?

He pulled another cigarette out of his pocket, quickly lighting it and inhailing deeply. He gazed blearily at the ornate grandfather clock that was chiming in the hallway. He reached over for his drink, quaffing down another shot of tequila. She had always loved that damned clock. Loved it on sight. That's the only reason he'd bought the damned thing in the first place.

In the middle of the night when you awake / Are you calling out for me...

The clock chimed three times. He had been up for over an hour now. He couldn't keep reliving that night. His eyes flickered over the overflowing wastebasket, a few bottles even littered the floor. He knew he shouldn't drink so much, but it seemed to be the only way he could sleep anymore...drinking until he passed out. Every time he shut his eyes, her face would appear, just as he had last seen her. Her chin trembling and the hurt in her eyes enough to split his heart in two.

He narrowed his eyes at the rapidly emptying glass. Nick and Howie had stopped in the day before, complaining about his reclusive lifestyle. He angrily wiped away a tear with the palm of his hand. He refused to cry. That was all he seemed to do anymore. He took another drag off his smoke, inhailing deeply, and exhaling slowly. He reached over and refilled his glass. He brought it up to his lips, but at the last minute, he threw it across the room, the crystal shattering with a satisfying tinkle of glass. THAT was what had caused all of this in the first place.

Do you ever reminisce / I can't believe I'm acting like this / I know it's crazy / How I can still feel your kiss

The guys had taken him to a Gentlemen's club for his birthday. They had been out on a world tour, and he couldn't spend it with his family or his lady, so they had gone to a place right outside of Paris. He snorted. Gentlemen's club, strip joint, it's all the same, the girls are just classier and it's ok to go to a Gentlemen's club when you're high profile. They had all had their share of drinks, him more than the rest of course. The girls had all been gorgeous, and more than willing to do whatever asked of them. One of them, her named turned out to be Betheny, was a pretty little thing, cascades of red curls, striking violet eyes. Very Pretty. She had given him a lap dance, probably the best he'd ever had.

She was sweet too. Eagerly helped him back to his hotel, half carried him to his suite. He had stumbled in his room, staring questionably at the flickering candles. Betheny helped him back towards his bedroom, that was his downfall. SHE was there. SHE had flown in from the states as a surprise for him. But SHE was the one who had gotten the surprise. He sobered up quickly as the emotions flickered across her face. Her chin had started to tremble and her eyes...those eyes which had always mirrored her emotions and her soul were perfectly mirroring her pain, her hurt, her anguish. She didn't say a single word, just walked over to the corner where she had left her bag and tugged on a shirt and jeans over her naked form. She didn't even glance at him as she grabbed her bag and coat, walking stiffly out of the room. He flung Betheny's hands off his torso and hurried after her. He pleaded with her as they raced down the staircase. He ran after her through the lobby, ignoring the glares of other guests at his state of undress. He begged while she waited for her cab. Her gaze cut clean through him, not seeing him even as he stood before her, taking her hands in his own, tears flowing freely down his rough cheeks. <br>

He remembered watching the cab pull away from the curb, speeding off into the night.<br>

That was the last time he had seen her.

It's been six months, eight hours, twelve days since you went away / I miss you so much / And I don't know what to say...

He jammed the butt of his cigarette in the ashtray, quickly snatching out another one. He shifted his chair, his eyes traveling over to the mantle over the fireplace. He still had all of their pictures up, he couldn't bear taking them down. The one of the two of them in front of the Christmas tree, her sitting in his lap as she opened one of her gifts, the one with all of their friends after a concert one night, the professional one they had had taken. And now, added since she left, the ring he had bought her, the same ring he had intended to give to her once he had returned from the tour. It was sitting up there among the pictures, open so he could always remember his mistake.

I should be over you / I should know better / But it's just not the case / It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours since you went away...

He pushed himself up from the recliner, tossing the half spent cigarette in the ashtray. He needed to go for a walk, get some fresh air. Maybe that will help him get some sleep. He knew he had to get out of the house and start living his life again, but it still hurt. More than he would let anyone know anyway. He thrust his arms in a leather jacket and slid some shoes on and left.

Do you ever ask about me / Do your friends still tell you what to do....

She looked over to the sleeping form next to her, letting out a soft sigh. She couldn't sleep, again. She'd been trying for the past three hours now, and the only thing that she had to prove it was the raging headache. She slid from the bed; stopping for a moment when the young man next to her shifted. She didn't want to have to explain why she was up again. He was such a sweetheart, but he was always trying to get her to bare her soul to him, that was just something that she couldn't do. She had done it once before, and it was the last time she would ever give herself so completely to anyone but herself. She would NEVER let anyone be able to hurt her like HE did. She quietly padded downstairs, rummaging through the fridge and poured herself some iced tea. She walked out onto the back patio, sipping her drink, watching the moon dance over the pool.

Everytime the phone rings / Do you wish it was me callin' you....

She bit her lip. No matter what, she had never gotten over him, even after she had found him that night. She had moved on with her life, or at least she let everyone think she did...hell, she was getting married in less that eight hours. No one ever knew what had happened, they had kept it to themselves, it wasn't anyone's business but their own. But every night it was HIS face she saw before going to sleep, even with her sweet angel lying beside her. What she wouldn't give for it to be HIM. She walked over to where she had hidden some cigarettes behind a plant. He didn't like her smoking, and for the most part she had quit. It was easier to do that then listen to him whine whenever she lit up. But she needed this right now. She inhaled deeply, coughing delicately. She swiftly wiped away a stray tear. God what had she gotten herself into.

Do you still feel the same / Or has time put out the flame / I miss you / Is everything ok....

She regretted the way she had acted...perhaps if she had listened to him, at least given him a chance, but no. She was her normal pig-headed self. Now look what she had roped herself into. She had flown back to the states that same night, going straight from the airport to their house, packed up everything and left. She had a small cottage near the beach that she had bought, an escape if you would, for when she needed time to herself. Only one other person knew about it. She had been careless one day after one of their spats, and Brian had followed her there. He knew that whenever she got upset, that was where she ran off to, and would often come down to check up on her if she disappeared without telling HIM.

Of course, that was who came to her when they returned from their tour. HE had been upset, coming home to find his house emptied of her belongings, no note, nothing. The guys had gotten worried when he didn't appear for over a week after their return, so they all showed up on his doorstep one afternoon, finding a weeks worth of overgrown whiskers covering his face, the same clothes the had last seen him in, and a funky odor. After throwing his stank ass in the shower and making him somewhat presentable, they made him fess up, but he only told them that she had left, giving them no other details.

Brian had left to find her an hour later, gaining no more information from her than what he already knew. From then on, he was a constant visitor in her house, always there for her to the point of harassing her, but she grew to care for him. They had kept their relationship secret, not wanting to cause any strife, but then he proposed to her. The guys were shocked to say the least when Brian had announced the upcoming nuptials. But HE wasn't there....she still didn't know to that day if he knew about them.

It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours since you went away / I miss you so much / And I don't know what to say....

She glanced down at her wrist watch. It was closing in on 4am. She quietly stomped out her cigarette and slipped back into the house. She quietly slunk back into their bedroom and slipped on a pair of shorts and a tank top, then pulled on some sandals. She needed to get some fresh air, clear her head and her thoughts.

There was somewhere she had to go. She needed to come to terms with all of this, and now. She didn't want to spend the rest of her life miserable, but she also knew...she would never be able to spend her life completely happy either.

Do you still feel the same / Or has time put out the flame / I miss you / Is everything ok....

He made his way across the well-manicured lawn, the damp grass crunching softly underneath his weight. He didn't know why he had come here, but he ended up here all the same. He walked along the water's edge, then stepped onto one of the many piers that lined the waterside. It had been so long since he'd been here. He quietly padded down the ancient wood, lost in his thoughts. This was where they had met. He had been sitting on the pier, smoking and silently fuming from an argument between him and his current or ex-girlfriend rather. She had showed up, tears streaming down her face. She glared at him and demanded for him to move his scrawny ass, that was her spot. He told her to go to hell. He fell in love with her at that moment. She had plopped down and stole a cigarette, insisting that since he was taking her spot, the least he could do was give her a good reason why he was there. They had sat there throughout the rest of the night and from that moment, even through their worst fights, had always been there for each other. That was...until the incident.

It's hard enough just passing the time / When I can't seem to get you off my mind.....

He made a left and started down towards the end of the pier, heading for his spot, but stopped dead in his tracks.

"Erin?"

She tipped her head in his direction at the sound of his voice.

"Alex?" Of all the times, of all the places...why here and now. She sighed inwardly, watching his familiar strut close in the distance between them.

"Is that really you?" he whispered, longing to run his fingers through her hair, loving the way the wind was blowing it about. "Can I?" he asked softly, gesturing towards the spot beside her. She shrugged, trying to act as if she didn't care, but she was screaming inwardly. God how she had dreamt of this moment.

"How've you been?" she asked politely.

"I've been" he answered, taking off his sunglasses to meet her eyes. Lord he missed her! The way she was acting, like she didn't care that he was there, the coldness, he saw past that. He knew her well enough. "Yourself?"

"The same. What brings you out here?"

"I dunno, just kinda ended up here. What's your excuse?"

"I needed to think."

"About?"

"What is this....twenty questions?" she snapped, then mentally kicked herself.

"I haven't seen you in over six months, I was just asking. You know, friends talk to each other, that's kinda why they're there....a shoulder to cry on" he gave her a small smile. Funny she thought...that was almost the same thing another man had said to her once. She shook herself from her inner thoughts when she felt his intense stare focused on her. "Are you going to tell me?" he pushed.

And where is the good in goodbye / Tell me why, tell me why...

"Alex, I have to go" she said softly, fighting the urge to bury herself in his chest, to wrap her arms around him and never let go.

"What's the rush? Got someone waiting for you?" he said only half-teasingly. She stared down at him, those chocolate eyes boring into her very soul almost. Obviously he didn't know.

"As a matter of fact, I do Alex." She turned her eyes away at his sharp intake of breath. "I figured the others would have told you by now...dammit!" she swore, turning back to him, but not quite meeting his eyes.

"Who is it?" he managed to choke out. He finally found her, and lost her again just as quickly.

"I'm getting married in a few hours, he and I are flying out somewhere quiet." she whispered, kneeling down in front of him.

"Who..is it" he said a little more firmly.

"It's Brian Alex" she whispered, cupping his cheek with her hand, a tear straying down her cheek. She could feel herself dying inside, his eyes twin mirrors of hurt and heartbreak. "I have to go..." she said quietly, trying to stand, but her grabbed her and pulled her so that their foreheads were touching.

"Please....don't leave me again" he pleaded, ignoring the hot tears that were flowing freely now.

"Alex, please don't do this..." she whimpered, trying to pull away, but he held her close.

"Erin....don't...please" he begged, and she could feel the heat of his words against her lips.

"Goodbye Alex" she whispered and pulled away. She stood, turned and ran down the pier, not looking back. He pulled his knees to his chest, sobbing.

It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours since you went away / I miss you so much / And I don't know what to say / I should be over you / I should know better / But it's just not the same / It's been six months, eight days twelve hours since you went away.....

The End

6, 8, 12 Brian McKnight Back at One

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