November 27, 2002

The Pilgrims' 1621 Thanksgiving

November 26, 2002

The network is down right now at work so I’m wasting some time. If I could actually work right now, I would probably find a million other things to occupy my time but now that I can’t work, I want to. What’s that logic about? Well, there seems to be something wrong. Maybe it’s on my end but there is a communication breakdown somewhere and it’s bugging me. I hate being the last to know stuff. It makes me feel so unimportant. You know what’s also a nice feature about people? When they have problems and you are the usual nice type who wants to help…their problems are made to be this huge mountain of an issue…when you have a problem…It’s treated as shit. I don’t even know why I bother to wake up and attempt to speak.

November 21, 2002

What the hell? Don’t you love these pop up ads? This one made me laugh. Good grief. So, I am going to be away for a few days. (I know, try to contain yourself) I’m going to Arizona to visit my mom for a pre thanksgiving visit. Going home is like a time warp for me. Everything just slows down to a snail pace. My mom hasn’t graduated to cable or a satellite. Still only local channels, which blow by the way. Not to mention a computer with no internet connection and my dog who has never been neutered so he is like a humping bean with everyone. JOY! It’s a walk back into suburban life where kids play in the streets and no one locks their doors. The neighborhood gossip is spoken like its actual CNN news. Ahhhhh…home sweet home.

November 20, 2002

There is this 400-year-old oak tree that is a big deal in Santa Clarita because its in the path of a road widening project. I guess there is some guy living in it to try to save it. All I can think of is that Simpson’s episode where Lisa decides to camp out in an ancient redwood tree to stop deforestation and she prevents some loggers from destroying the tree. But when she sneaks down for one night, the tree is struck by lightning. I just don’t get what the big deal is. It’s a tree. A 400-years-old tree, but a tree. Does it heal the sick or something? Instead of caring about a tree so much, why not go down to a shelter and volunteer some time in a soup kitchen or at a nursing home. If the tree could talk, do you think it would give a shit about us humans? No. We have nothing to offer it and now there’s some retard sitting in it trying to save it!! People will never stop amazing me. A cause for a tree over helping a fellow human being. Nice.

November 19, 2002

It seems this weeks journal has been about commercials so why stop now. I saw an ad for some SUV with the works. The thing that struck me was this addition…The factory-installed Satellite-Linked Navigation System and DVD Entertainment System. DVD SYSTEM? Technology is awesome but some comforts of home really need to stay at home. People have a hard enough time driving with their radios on not to mention cell phones and now DVD players? Remember those old skool (yes it’s spelt wrong on purpose) movies of what the future was going to look like? Weren’t we supposed to be flying in cars by now? They went something like this one called The World of Tomorrow . Something else was bugging me earlier. Nothing to do with a car or a commercial but people. I really need to stop thinking sometimes and just let things go but I cant stand when people complain about others and then do nothing about their situation, or act like nothing is wrong around the person they are talking shit about. How foreign to actually just be honest with yourself and others. I just don’t get it. Life it too short to waste energy on unhappiness and complaints without action. Maybe this just comes from learning it the hard way. But it annoys me at the moment.

November 18, 2002

I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I am sooo tired lately. I think maybe I’m fighting a cold. I had one before that camping trip adventure but it went away and now I think it’s returning. I’m not sure but I think seeing the new Harry Potter movie through me into a coma state that I can’t quite get out of. That movie was ok but its one of those movies where the first half of it could have been cut out. But anyways, I was waiting for my laundry to finish last night and I saw a commercial for the new American Idol 2 try outs. It made me think. People are so obsessed with being famous even if it’s fleeting. I don’t get that. What’s the fascination with being the flavor of the moment? Getting even more people to talk shit about you? Cuz rarely are people overjoyed with anyone’s success. It’s just funny to me. Everyone wants to be noticed for something instead of being content with who they are. Like it’s a final acceptance or something. The American Idol thing just annoys me. Who cares what people think of your singing voice? You don’t need some retarded has been judges to tell you if you will “make it” or not. What’s that chick’s name that won? Kelly? I guess more power to her. I’m sure its exciting and all. It just annoys me. Another prefab entertainer with stars in their eyes. I think instead of DJs and video shows getting paid to play this stuff, we should get paid for having to hear it!

Check out this funny link How to Be a Cyber-Lovah

November 15, 2002

Comedy Central has been advertising this roast of Chevy Chase every commercial break. A few thoughts, WHO CARES? Who decided he would be good to roast? Does he have stock in Comedy Central? Is he one of the main share holders that holds the glue of that station together? Is this an honor for him to be roasted or a sympathy show? Maybe its just me but some people need to stay out of the spotlight. His 15 minutes of fame ended with that Chevy Chase talk show. Remember that? Here is a link to that train wreck in case you forgot. Oh yeah, and here is a photo of Chevy...in case you forgot him too.

This is sortof a two part journal. I wrote the above last night while watching TV. I must say. TV sucks. But anyways, I had some weird dreams last night. The three things in my dream were marriage, proposal and mannequins. The first 2 things, would have freaked me out under other circumstances but they didn’t this time at all and also knowing that dreams have hidden meanings was insight to. Here is what this all means to me.

To see a marriage in your dream, signifies commitment, harmony or transition. You will undergo an important developmental transitional phase. It may also represent the unification of formerly separate or opposite aspects of yourself. In particular, it may represent the union of masculine or feminine aspects of yourself.

To dream that you are being proposed to, indicates that you are merging a previously unknown aspect of yourself More directly, the dream suggests you are thinking about marriage or some serious long-term commitment/project/situation. Your reaction to the proposal indicates your true feelings about marriage or commitment.

To see a mannequin in your dream represents an extension of your own self that you are projecting. You may feel that you are not playing an active enough role in some situation. Consider how the mannequin is dressed for clues as to what you may wish to act out, but have not done so.

so there you go. This all makes sense to me. I’m in a relationship that is completely new to me. Its so crazy how you can do the same thing over and over and date over and over knowing something is lacking. That’s always how it has been for me. Something was always missing or just not right. I don’t feel that way with this one. Nothing is lacking and maybe that is the harmony part or the transition part. The merging a previously unknown aspect of myself. Whatever it is, it’s a great feeling to have. A sort of peace of mind and heart for once.

November 14, 2002

November 13, 2002

I remember having a boyfriend who was full of ultimatums. It doesn’t really do anything for the relationship but build resentment and boy did it. I guess you live and learn though. Some lessons are easier to learn then others. I was talking to my boyfriend last night about that little voice, you know, that gut instinct you have when something isn’t right. Sometimes I wish that voice came with a pair of boxing gloves to knock me on my ass. I’m so stubborn and deaf sometimes not to mention a dopey romantic so I’m just a mess when it comes to bad relationships and getting out. Luckily, I don’t have that problem now. It’s nice to finally have some peace in that area. And blah blah blah and blah blah blah..I know what a boring journal today. So let me liven it up with some wisdom of super models .

November 12, 2002

uh…yeah…so I was at rehearsal last night and we were standing outside taking a break. They are filming a movie on Hollywood Blvd which is right outside of where we rehearse. These 2 guys from the photo over here walked by and then stopped to talk to our singer/guitar player. She’s a beautiful girl so there is no wonder why they stopped to talk to her. See...let me give guys some advice. Not that any really read this but if you know of any girls who play music...Dont be a tard...we aren’t a novelty. The 2 guys were saying..”so you guys are the girl band?” GIRL BAND? Yeah we are the girl band but we aren’t discussing what nail polish and lipstick looks better during rehearsal. We leave that to Britney and the other clones out today. Guys are just dumb like that. But anyway, these two are in a band called Logans Heroes . I got a good laugh at the poser photos they have. They are a must see. Straight out of every 80s glam record sleeve with their “in the alley” pose. More power to them if they are happy and enjoying themselves. Hell, more power to any musician and entertainer who is enjoying themselves and doing what they love. I’m just entertained by people and how they “make their move” on others. It usually comes down to a lack of respect or a lack of skill most times. Last night, the one guy was telling our singer/guitar player she had nice eyes while starring at her chest. Hahahaha…smoooooooth. It’s just so entertaining.

November 11, 2002

So pretty isn’t it? The fresh air, beautiful scenic view, the great outdoors…ahhhhh. What better way to spend a weekend right? Now add tons of rain, no fire to cook your food because camp fires are restricted but your friend assured you they were allowed, below 40 temperatures, wet clothes, wet gloves, heavy winds, sleep deprivation, an air mattress with no air pump, a heater that doesnt heat anything that isnt in danger of burning from being so close, a tent that leaks water from the condesation of the rain, 2 tweaked out dogs who havent been out of their apartment for more than a walk and being frozen in parts of your body you didnt know could freeze…mmm…sounds like a good time huh? That was my weekend. Although I have to say it wasn’t as bad as it sounds because the company I was with was great but this is a bitch journal, so why sugarcoat what tons of rain and a few layers of wet clothes can do to a person’s motivation on having “fun”. I guess it’s good to be away from the comforts of home to a degree sometimes. Made me appreciate my tiny apartment and all its small amenities. Just know that if you are going camping and the forecast calls for rain, either wait for a sunny time or note that if you go to BigBear you can get a Starbucks mocha only ten minutes from your soggy campsite. Now that is roughing IT!

November 8, 2002

Im a little under the weather so I don’t have much to say but I thought this photo was funny. Something about living so restricted always humors me. Much like religion. Here are some good sites that go against the grain of rules and religion and are actually more educational then the torture of going to church on Sunday. NormalBobSmith.com Home of pray for Satans salvation. I love that idea and landoverbaptist.org

November 7, 2002

See this nun? That was me for months at work just surfing all the fine quality sites on the internet. My journal may not get updated so timely anymore. I know, hold back your tears. Its ok. At least I will be busy working instead of wishing I could time travel to a more exciting life.

November 6, 2002

I had the weirdest dream last night about this van that was kidnapping all the kids in my moms neighborhood in Arizona. All I remember is knowing the van was coming and just waiting to get the license number. WHAT THE HELL!? So, this is what the Dream Interpreter says it means:

“To dream that someone has been kidnapped, indicates that you are not letting aspects and characteristics of that person be expressed within you. You are trying to contain and/or suppress those qualities of the kidnapped person. To see or drive a van in your dream, symbolizes convenience and/or practicality. Consider the load that you are carrying and what you can handle. Don't stress yourself out. To see a license plate in your dream represents liberty and freedom to run your own life. “

and my horoscope for today: “After a few hectic, stressed-out days, your powers are returning. For just a moment when you wake up this morning, you wonder if it was all just a nightmare, but reality comes rushing in along with some much-needed daylight. If you want to step forward now, your risks should be considerably less. There's no need to worry about what others are saying about you. This is your own life and you are free to do with it whatever you please.”

wanna see what your dreams mean? Check out DreamMoods.com

November 5, 2002

I cant even say what I am thinking right now. What a fun fucking day!

November 4, 2002

I went to Costco this weekend since my mom was visiting. Everything is oversized and so are most of the people. Damn. We live in such an excess world. If something is good, it must be even better in the 100 pound size!!! We also went to IKEA. I sat in the car waiting for my mom to return something in the store and just watched people. Ever do that? I think I watched 1 out of 3 people drive like complete asses in their shiny status symbol cars while I waited. The more expensive the car, the more the lines on the road must not be visible to these drivers. Traffic laws??? What traffic laws???!! I have a Mercedes! Not to mention the ones on phones. Nothing against cell phones. Really…if you can drive and talk.. more power to you.. But some people need to be maimed. I think I may just be the last of only a few who are cell phone ignorant since I don’t have one. Another reason why I’m again… not cool. I don’t have a phone that rings to Rock the Cashbah…sniff…or 50 other song tunes for each caller..sniff..

November 1, 2002

For 21 years Pat Sajak has been hosting Wheel of Fortune. 21 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why is this even something to mention? I don’t know. I was listening to Howard Stern and a commercial for Wheel of Fortune came on and I just thought...”Who even watches that show anymore?” I then tried to remember the last time I watched a game show. I think it was Who Wants to be a Millionaire . You know that show. The one where you at home think you are so damn smart when you shout out the answers and could easily win the million? Yeah, that was me too. I think when I was younger, all those old game shows like Hollywood Squares, Price is Right and Family Feud were entertaining, but after 20 years …Jesus … Its kind of like all this Reality TV stuff…in 20 years will CBS still be shooting Survivor or the next Amazing Race? Fear Factor will be upgraded to actual murder as a challenge. Some things just need to end regardless of staying power. Check out JumpTheShark.com for more examples.