Jens July Bitch Journal 2002

Wednesday July 31, 2002

I found this website called withoutsin.com I think this guy is so right on with what he posts. So here is a bit of his stuff. Check out the site too. A link is at the bottom.

" I have, as of late, learned a harsh lesson about the world. It is full of literal morons who will belligerently defend their right to be stupid. People will pursue with violence the right to not know and not care about anything more than a cigarette and a drunken stupor.
    These people don't care who you are or what you know. All they care about is whether or not they can overpower you. It took me a long time to figure out what the intellectual axis of their attitude was and I think I may have made some progress.
    The fear of change runs deeply in the minds of the stupid. Change signifies unknown variables entering their lives that they may not be able to deal with. It means that they may have to become dynamic and change. Their minds might have to learn and grow. They fear the real work... Thinking. The real effort in this world is the act of using creative intelligence to solve problems. These people must learn... If we were left to fend for ourselves in nature with our only defense being brute strength, we never would have left the trees.
   They are terrified of a world full of things that they do not and will not understand. I believe that a greater part of them could if they tried. They just give up. And then they punish you and me for making them remember their failure. You see, we are the top ten percent. Those making change happen and not just dealing with it. Those that recognize that without cooperation and dynamic and dangerous thought progress is slow and halting.
    These people, the other ninety percent, are willing to be made into drones. Worker bees not capable of independent thought. Not worth the trust instilled in the average well-trained sheep dog. They are perfectly happy with others doing their thinking for them. The government feeds them huge doses of tobacco and alcohol to placate them. The Media feeds them obvious lies so that they can go about their meaningless lives with a false sense of security. The entertainment industry creates false icons that they can imagine themselves being... An escape from the banality of their horrible wasted existence. They believe that they have it all... They do. All but a soul.
   By artistic metaphor these people are fed lies about what life is supposed to be like. They hide behind the twin fallacies of tradition and history to give their actions a false sense of importance. They use illogical pet causes to massage their guilt at not helping the pain and suffering all around them. I remember that in a book I read a long time ago there were proletariat masses kept in check that very same way. It was by George Orwell. If you refuse to think America, your thinking WILL be done for you. Don't you at least want a choice?"

Tuesday July 30, 2002

I don’t know where I find this crap, but its damn funny. Oh come on, you know you’ve been thinking about buying a baby over the internet..dont even lie.

Black Market Babies

Friday July 26, 2002

Adult Panties, with a Christian Message

I found this site and not to bash religion or anything again, but...this just made me laugh so there. Now go pray for me.

Thursday July 25, 2002

Thursdays...YAY

This picture should sum up my day. I'm so bored right now. Here are some ramblings about fake crap. I hate fake people and the ones who talk just to hear their own voice. Shut up and save your brain cells.

You've got nothing but your ego

you've got nothing but your wasted breath

over and over

You fake it beyond your borders

and hope nobody ever knows it

over and over

Threatened by not being misunderstood

reinvent the wrong impression to make it worse

I want to know you

I want to believe that your not what I see

the image you wear

like a cheap suit

imitations knock off queen

You wear your anger loud and clear

hate anyone who doesn't adore you

over and over

Misjudge others like they misjudge you

and it just continues

over and over

I want to know you

I want to believe that your not what I see

the image you wear

like a cheap suit

imitations knock off queen

Wednesday July 24, 2002

I don’t really feel like writing anything today. I feel like I’m wasting my time in some areas of my life with things. Why I wear my heart on my sleeve every time I like someone, I will never know. Its not that this person is a waste of time, not at all, I really like him a lot, I just feel like I'm putting myself out there like an idiot. It pisses me off too. I really need to learn to not give a shit like most people I know.

Monday July 22, 2002

OH MY GOD!

the real Spiderman has been found

click here

Sunday July 21, 2002

Lets see.. what to write today. I haven't had much time to write any new lyrics or random crap but here is some older stuff.

P.S. here is the advice for the weekend. If you are going to drive drunk, smoke pot first-D

I don't wanna be your bed friend

and I don't wanna be your second best plan

I don't wanna be the secret that you keep

the one that you're afraid could be

miles from committed but closer than you think

just wanna know that wanting you means your wanting me

I don't wanna sit in silence all day

don't wanna to wonder what you cant say

I don't wanna be your afterthought

or the deep reflection you keep to yourself

I wanna see you're all in knots like me

that I'm not the only one here losing sleep

Couldn't it be real

just to let yourself feel

say good bye to the games and the names

or what you cant let yourself get caught up in again

I don't wanna be your late night call

I don't wanna be a mess from it all

I don't wanna be the one asking you out

don't want you to be the only one I'm about

I wanna know that I'm not alone in this

that there's something more of a hit than a miss

Couldn't it be real

just let yourself feel

say goodbye to the games and the names
for what you cant let yourself get caught up in again

Tuesday July 16, 2002

Today I thought I would put some lyrics up for a song called Normal Like You. I'm so not the norm. I don't really drink, don't smoke or do drugs. I'm so uncool. I need to go shoot up some heroin so I can make friends. (insert sarcasm anywhere)

If I could be normal just like you

addicted to the same things you are too

Controlled by habit just like you

when cancer sticks and a drinking fix

control you

why am I the one you're putting down

Normal like you

If I could be normal just like you

confuse what others don't do as prudes

you're in your glass house throwing rocks like its shatter proof

tell me

how's that working out for you

Normal like you

Normal like you

Don't wanna be

Wouldn't wanna be

like you

Normal like you

If I could be normal just like you

when you need your crutch to help you through

Hate others being strong

oh there's gotta be something wrong with

taking emotions as soberly as they come

Normal like you

Normal like you

Don't wanna be

Wouldn't wanna be

Like you

Normal like you

I can be enlightened just like you

without the phony high

nothing wrong with having my own mind

go against the grain I know

how insane

its not the same as being a clone

of the social norm like you

Normal like you

Normal like you

Don't wanna be

Wouldn't wanna be

Like you

Normal like you

Sunday July 14, 2002

So lets see, I thought I would put something up about religion. YAY! I'm not against religion but I do think that most out there suck. Its not about god, its all the social politics as well as being an outcast for not believing like a little drone for 18 years. This one is called Save Me.

So you say your gonna save me save me

better hold off on your score card

maybe

if you preach a little longer and louder I might understand

maybe

if you force your beliefs it will sink into my head

and then, born again I'll be

So you say your gonna save me save me

and tell me all about your god who loves me

your the only one who can save me save me

better go on now and save me save me

When I ask you questions you can

read me a verse or two

and forget the contradictions of your duplicate views

You can have an emotional prayer session to save my soul

and

when I fall from grace you can say you

told me so

and then born again I'll be

So you say your gonna save me save me

and tell me all about your god who loves me

your the only one who can save me save me

better go on now and save me save me

On a street corner selling god

all the masks for what your not

pleading prayers

hearts grow hollow

lord please save us from the ones

that follow

(amen)

So you say your gonna save me save me

and tell me all about your god who loves me

your the only one who can save me save me

better go on now and save me save me

better go on now and save me save me

Tuesday July 9, 2002

I thought I would continue writing in my journal with some more poetry/lyric type stuff...why? because I feel like it. This one is about this guy who I used to work with who would give the worst love advice EVER! His name is Foolio. OOOOOH yeah!

Boys Say

I've got one guy in my ear saying how I gotta be true to me

and its more than face value that he's looking for and needs

as he's swooning over every beautiful face that's walking by

makes me think that brain damage is contagious and why would I

listen to what boys say

listen to what boys say

listen to what boys say

He's all about speaking his mind

and how 24 years have made him refined

be it as it may

I cant help but roll my eyes when I hear him say

three ways are fun

and wink wink I should try one

OH YEAH

listen to what boys say

listen to what boys say

listen to what boys say

Thinking with what fits in his CKs

never mind the impression that it makes

all the advice

matter over mind

like a fine wine

he's waiting on time

oh he's waiting

for the right lines to work on me

Never listen to what boys say

listen to what boys say

listen to what boys say

Monday July 8, 2002

I'm not sure what the last entry was all about but whatever. I kinda take the moment I'm in and just write it down even if it is a freak chick moment. That's right chick moment. Here is more :

I remember when you'd sing to me

How the sound of your voice was so soothing

You could carry me away

Like the faint music of a beautiful dream

When you sing that song for me

when you sing that song

Hanging on your every word

The hidden soul of harmonies that you've captured

When you sing that song

go on and sing that song

go on and sing that song for me

the song you sing gives the speechless envy

when its hard to find

the true song is your heart and mind

you can go on and sing that song

go on and sing that song

Reflections of your thoughts entwined with verse

Sharing over and over what the heart recalls as hurt

As its said thoughts that breathe can come with words that burn deep

and when its your turn

you can sing that song for me

go on and sing that song for me

the song you sing

with effortless ease

brings revelation to her knees

When its hard to find the true song

is your heart and mind

you can go on and sing that song

go on and sing your song

Tuesday July 2, 2002

And I know if I was her you would stop to say hello everyday
And I know if I was her, you would think of something to say

Without me speaking first
And I know this but still I want to believe

Who you want is me
And I know if I was her you would parade me in front of your friends
And I know if I was her you would sacrifice them to make plans
And I know this but I want to believe
Who you want is me

And you walk on by, not a word
Pass me right on by to say meaningless chatter to her
Is it jealousy I’m feeling?
Or is it stupidity I’m living
Believing who you want is me
She’s 100% beautiful
And you’re not a percent away from a fool
To believe she’s anything more than
A centerfold
Paper thin holding no weight within yeah
I know I know
And I know if I was her you would be right here
And I know if I was her your intentions would be so clear
I wouldn’t have to doubt myself
Or wonder if there’s someone else
Because Id know and you would say its so
And I know if I was her
She’s beautiful
And I know if I was her
She’s beautiful

Monday July 1, 2002

I was supposed to put this on yesterday’s journal but like a tard I updated my editor and didn’t update online. Smart ...so here it is (an actual entry YAY!*whimper*) This weekend was a good one. I’ve started playing with this band

that’s really cool, so I’m excited about that. There’s also other stuff going on that is good but if I put that here, god knows everything will fall apart. So for now. Life is dealing a good hand. Sometimes I wonder why I am even doing this journal. Does anyone read these things? Blah blah blah

-Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control-