January 31, 2003

I was going to put a photo of satan up today but I thought this doll being thrown into the toilet was a good enough demonstration of how I feel about my ex. He called last night asking if I had some of his things. He was all cheery and happy. Like I don’t remember what a dick he is. I think being in a really healthy relationship now only exaggerates what an asshole I was dating before. I guess even the dumb things we do have a purpose for happening. I mean, even though I think about how life would be if I didn’t go down a certain path, its better to accept what mistakes I’ve made and learn from them so I don’t repeat the same things. I think my loser dating streak is over, at least for now. I found this article that pretty much sums up my last relationship. Its like a top 10 of Warning Signs That You’re Dating A Loser It’s a bit of reading but I think almost everyone can relate. I found myself agreeing and having flashbacks with each of the signs. That just sucks!!!

January 30, 2003

January 29, 2003

This little Casanova over here is Jason. The female he is with? I believe it’s some porn star that was probably forced to take the photo with him but if you ask him, she begged for him to take a photo of them together. He is one of those guys who only talks about how he “scores” but we have yet to see a live female with him at anytime that wasn’t in a photograph. He also talks larger than life. A big flashy money clip full of $1s. I guess if you are into all that material BS, he might be the one for you, but I think he tries to hard. Its almost like his effort with the ladies is more like repellent. I found an article called Bragging Discreetly.
Below was some of my earlier stupid rantings about him.

I've got one guy in my ear saying how I gotta be true to me

and its more than face value that he's looking for and needs

as he's swooning over every beautiful face that's walking by

makes me think that brain damage is contagious and why would I

listen to what boys say

listen to what boys say 

listen to what boys say 

He's all about speaking his mind 

and how 24 years have made him refined

be it as it may 

I cant help but roll my eyes when I hear him say

three ways are fun

and wink wink I should try one

OH YEAH

listen to what boys say

listen to what boys say

listen to what boys say

Thinking with what fits in his CKs

never mind the impression that it makes

all the advice

matter over mind

like a fine wine

he's waiting on time

oh he's waiting

for the right lines to work on me

Never listen to what boys say

listen to what boys say

listen to what boys say

January 27, 2003

I decided not to play with the band I had been playing with. But no hard feelings towards any of them. I really do wish the girls well. I came to this conclusion while at a show watching this band Sickwater play. They were really good but their set was super long. I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing when a bands music inspires you to start to prioritize your life during their set. It was a memorable night. Some guys got in a fight; I got pulled over by a cop for the first time in my life! They thought I was fleeing the scene of the fight. I’m so thug now.

January 24, 2003

  I got an email from a guy in the band  Logans Heroes . I mentioned them awhile back after a rehearsal one night. I guess I fail to mention often that this is a bitch journal. Not a thematic essay on roses. I don't think there is anything wrong with men admiring a woman. But nice or not, its damn funny when the conversations eye contact is between a mans eyes and woman's boobs. That's all. I think the girls and I should start starring at men's fly's when we speak and see how they like it. Actually no. I take that back, bad idea...Love it or leave it, its a bitch journal. Please forgive me for printing the wrong pictures of the two we met that night, NOT in the promo photo that I chose to use from their site. My bad...and on that note, here is a link for those who aren't into my bitch journal. May the bubble of your world be brighter with someone's filtered opinion.

Here was the journal entry from November 12, 2002

uh…yeah…so I was at rehearsal last night and we were standing outside taking a break. They are filming a movie on Hollywood Blvd which is right outside of where we rehearse. These 2 guys from the photo over here walked by and then stopped to talk to our singer/guitar player. She’s a beautiful girl so there is no wonder why they stopped to talk to her. See...let me give guys some advice. Not that any really read this but if you know of any girls who play music...Dont be a tard...we aren’t a novelty. The 2 guys were saying..”so you guys are the girl band?” GIRL BAND? Yeah we are the girl band but we aren’t discussing what nail polish and lipstick looks better during rehearsal. We leave that to Britney and the other clones out today. Guys are just dumb like that. But anyway, these two are in a band called Logans Heroes . I got a good laugh at the poser photos they have. They are a must see. Straight out of every 80s glam record sleeve with their “in the alley” pose. More power to them if they are happy and enjoying themselves. Hell, more power to any musician and entertainer who is enjoying themselves and doing what they love. I’m just entertained by people and how they “make their move” on others. It usually comes down to a lack of respect or a lack of skill most times. Last night, the one guy was telling our singer/guitar player she had nice eyes while starring at her chest. Hahahaha…smoooooooth. It’s just so entertaining.

January 23, 2003

January 22, 2003

Today on Howard Stern they were playing clips from American Idol and this singer who was pretty bad yelled back at the 3 judges. It reminded me of High School when the “popular” kids made fun of someone who was fat or ugly or just not cool in their eyes. I was the girl who would stand up and tell them what fucks they were for making fun of someone. They were all confident to make fun of someone else but not so confident after being brought back down a few notches. That show annoys me. Just seeing that smug little Simon judge guy. I guess it makes good viewing for people who like to see others get made fun of. I just can’t stomach it. And since when is Paula Abdul a critic of anything close to talent? Her telling someone they can’t sing is ironic...Dont ya think?

January 21, 2003

I was watching this movie called Bloodwork    starring Clint Eastwood this weekend. Whenever a movie starts out with an old retired FBI agent with a heart condition, you know it cant be a good premise. Especially when that retired agent is Clint Eastwood. He is grabbing his heart throughout the movie and when a chase scene came up, I couldn’t help but wonder if this scene would be when his heart gave out. It was good, but Clint kinda looks like death. Maybe thats just him "playing" the role well, I dont know but his face kinda reminded me of skeletor.

January 17, 2003

The asscrack cleavage chick walked by hanging on this one guy she has been flirting with. I think its funny considering for awhile most people thought he was gay. Maybe it was just the way he would stand at the copier talking about how many shirts he had tried on before going out on a Friday. I don’t know. It’s cool to be up on your looks and appearance as a guy but sometimes they way things come out just yell fruity. Im listening to the radio right now and they are talking about Brad Pitt begging his wife for a baby. I wish this wasn’t the topic because its *yawn* boring. More and more I think all the BS about stars lives is like one big high school reunion of whose it and who’s just shit. People Magazine is like the yearbook and Entertainment Tonight and Extra are the annoying Editors who would ask dumb questions in the halls for the quotes in the yearbook. I don’t know about you but I thought High School sucked ass and anyone who says they loved it is living in a bubble and needs help.

Numerology calculator    if you are into this stuff or even if you aren’t, its kind of neat to check out.

January 16, 2003

I was watching the news this morning while I was getting ready for work and they had this news story about the Titanic and how they are bringing up a part of the ship. I thought it was funny that the footage they were showing of the titanic was none other than Leonardo De Caprio and Kate Winslet from the movie Titanic. Is that what our history has come to? Hollywood’s version? Anyway, I found this site   right after talking about that girl who shows her ass crack at work. Now she’s working her cleavage. (Making list to help new girl: Hanes Her Way and a turtleneck sweater )

January 15, 2003

Its one of those days where I have tons of thoughts in my head and think no one really gives a shit. Nothing against you my little readers, I just don’t have anything wonderfully funny and great to say today. You know how they say there is a devil and an angel each shoulder? I wonder if there is an angel for confidence and a devil for insecurity because Id like to punch insecurity out for awhile.

January 14, 2003

There is this new girl at work who wears these jeans that are low rider style. She likes to lean over the guy’s desks and whether she knows it or not. Her ass crack shows. I think it’s funny. She gives other girls here this look like she has one up on them. The thing is, none of the females are competing for any of the men here. No one wants any of the guys here, so she is on her own in that competition. We just aren’t excited about seeing ass crack, know what I mean? I was thinking of putting a package of Hanes Her Way on her desk one night when she leaves. I know that’s mean huh? I can’t help it. Ass crack at 8 am is not pretty. At least today she is wearing a belt.

January 13, 2003

Yep, its another exciting Monday. I’m learning more and more how much I am not a morning person as my boyfriend told me I am bitchy every morning. That always helps start the day off well. I think I should come into work doing cartwheels and walking on my hands with a smile on my face just to prove a point of how annoying a person who LOVES mornings can be. Whatever tho, it’s who I am I guess. An unenthused person when it comes to waking up when I’m tired. In general, I think people forget to put the shoe on the other foot sometimes or think before they speak. So I try to let things go. Not just with being called bitchy in the morning, but with other things. My life and responsibilities are no ones problem but mine. I accept that. I just think that people should look outside themselves for a moment to understand others and why they are acting how they are. Cutting people down because they aren’t how you want them to be always ends in someone getting hurt and it only makes you look like a selfish ass for insulting someone. I think something is wrong with me…my soapbox is entirely too big right now. Someone knock me off. Please!

January 9, 2003

There is this girl at work who works in my boyfriends department. She also does porn on the side. Intriguing? I think women do a lot of things for $$ and more power to them if they are comfortable. I don’t have a problem with it. The problem I have with this chick is that she is flirting with my man and sending him pictures of herself in lingerie. I'm home sick today and I feel like going in with my slippers on a PJs and punching her right in the face!! Is that bad? I'm not worried my boyfriend will leave me. In fact, I'm 100% confident that her skanky ass will never be with him. The thing that is pissing me off is a lack of respect. Women and men can be so classless and disrespectful to each other. This girl knows my boyfriend is with me. So its not innocent on her part. But anyway. who is this girl you ask? Here, look at this site. (*not work friendly) I must say the photos make her look great. I think many can be photographed well. I also think that when you act like a little shit, it doesn't matter what you are wearing or who you know, you are still shit.  

January 8, 2003

I’ve had this flu/cold thing on an off this past week and its annoying. My head feels like it’s about to pop from the pressure and I just want to sleep. But that stop the fun websites from being found. I heard about this one    on the radio. A guy had been dating this girl for a long time and came home to find out she had married them online. Can you imagine?

January 7, 2003

January 6, 2003

Ya ever get to a point were you have something to say but no one to really say it to? Or no one who really wants to listen for that matter? I think it’s interesting how we act with others. I will straight up listen to peoples BS until the cows come home just because I know I have BS of my own and want someone to listen. Just seems my concerns or thoughts are sidelined if it doesn’t pertain to the other person listening. Are those types of people selfish? Or am I an idiot for being nice and listening to others even when the subject has no effect on me or my life. I always love being told by someone I’m talking to that they don’t want to talk about a certain subject. Why not just tell me to shut up right when I open my mouth. It’s just as rude and effective. And then question why I am so shy and never talk. Why aren’t we as people more considerate instead of trying to master the art of being selfish assholes? I’m all for looking out for number 1 and all but don’t be a dick about it. I guess I just think that when someone is talking, they are expressing who they are, not just in the boring subject or words you’ve probably heard over and over...there is more behind it, and they are choosing you to share apart of themselves with. Some people just take this for granted but then again I think too much about stuff sometimes.

January 3, 2003

I was walking down the hall at work and was sized up by a female coworker. You know, the look over up and down. It made me wonder why as women we do this to each other. Looking for flaws in each other and gossiping about this persons looks or that person’s attire. It all comes down to a lack of self esteem. I know Im not the most secure but I also don’t think there is anything wrong with admiring someone who is beautiful. Its kinda funny to have a conversation with someone who is tearing another down with gossip and insults and to interject only positive things about the person they are dogging. It totally changes the whole tone of the conversation. I just don’t get it. There will always be someone better or worse than me, so why fight it by ripping on one another. I will probably be eating my words in a matter of minutes but whatever, its what I thought when I was sized up.

January 2, 2003

Something about the New Year, always brings out that crap 80s music marathon BS. Is it some kind of American torture by DJs? It’s so painful. Wanna see what my New Years Eve consisted of? See the nice little playstation graphic?

I guess Im just a stupid girl or maybe I just havent embraced the male side of my being and wanted to play a video game for hours. Playstation is cool and all but New Years just wasnt what I had in mind. What about a little romance, a little kiss at midnight...sigh.. I dont know, I just hope a new Tekken game isn’t released near Valentines Day.