February 28, 2003

I think everyone knows someone who tries to one up their situation. Like a competition of whose problems are worse. People who see the glass half empty types. Maybe satisfaction or thankfulness comes with age, I don’t know but life is never as bad as people think. There is always going to be someone better than you and someone worse off. I learned this young with girls and their catty ways. We need some positive self image classes in the schools over bias history books. Some coping with the hand life dealt you education over sewing classes. Every issue we have as adults stems from our childhood, yet we get no training on how to deal with any of it until one day, as an adult, a light bulb goes on in our heads to figure stuff out. I don’t even know what I’m babbling about. I just think sorting through our own personal BS is half the battle to getting to enjoying life. So many people would rather hang on to crap and stink, then learn about themselves and why they are the way they are and let crap go and deal with life refreshed. Change is scary but when you make the right decision, you will be amazed at the feeling you will have inside. Wow, those Loraine shortbread cookies I just ate are almost as inspiring as the band sickwater. That’s a whole other journal entry right there.

February 27, 2003

I was talking to my boyfriend today about something and got on the subject of single parents. I always think its interesting how a single father is seen as respected and being responsible and a single mother is seen as somewhat of a slut or used up in some way. I guess there are a lot of bad examples of single mothers but for the most part, anyone who has a child and takes care of it deserves respect, female or male. I think a lot of times; guys think a single mother is looking for a father for the child. What about the single father? Is he not looking for a mother for his child? I think women would be far more accepting of a single dad than the other way around. Men have real issues with women having kids. Me personally, I don’t see myself as a “typical” single mother that you would hear about on some trash talk radio show. I’m not looking for a father for my child or money. Its just weird what people judge and how they do so. Single mother=baggage. Single father=honorable

February 25, 2003

Do you think we have a lot to be worried about with the “war” they are talking about in the news? It always amazes me what is the next crisis for Americans to worry about. I remember the news covering shark attacks like sharks had legs and were trying to kill people while they slept! Anthrax made us worry about our mail, the sniper made us wonder what loon was lurking to randomly take us out. Children were being kidnapped and somehow this was the lead story like it was something new. Now it’s the war and of course the terrorist alerts. Fear sells doesn’t it? It makes us believe less in ourselves and more in what is being fed to us by those in power. The more they bombard us with info on what to fear, the more we live our lives trapped in their web. It’s insane. Right now my only concern about war is the one I’m having with the roaches in my new apartment!!!!

February 24, 2003

Every time I see an awards show, I have to wonder what the award is really for. Is it for the artists who feel and put emotions and time and effort into their work? Who write the lyrics that spell out how you the listener feel? Is the award for the artist who clubbed and gigged, dealt with rejection, and disappointment and finally made it to being recognized? Naw, it’s for the corporate guys who saw a pretty little face, body and moldable package and the 30 plus year old songwriter behind the scenes. Not to knock the songs, hey they sell, and that’s the point for most, to make money. But I think it would be more honest for most of these award winners to thank their stylist and writing team over god himself!

February 20, 2003

Angelfire decided to cut the amount of megs you get for free for websites so I’m in the process of changing a bunch of stuff. So if you see a photo missing or a link that isn’t working, just know I’m thinking what angelfire can do with there “free” webshell!

February 17, 2003

A Stormy Night

A couple were alone in the house. It was a cold, dark stormy night. The storm had come up quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump.

She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance and wished that he would take her in his arm, comfort her, protect her from the storm, she wanted that ... then the power went out.

She screamed.

He raced to the sofa where she was cowering. He did not hesitate to pull her into his arms. He knew this was a forbidden union and expected her to pull back. He was surprised when she didn't resist but instead clung to him. The storm raged on ... as did their growing passion and there came a moment when each knew that they had to be together. They knew it was wrong, their families would not understand, but....

So consumed in their passion they didn't hear the door or the click of the light switch ... the power was back on ....... click here

February 14, 2003

Happy Valentines Day! I found a really cool little article about Valentines Day and love. I thought I'd share it. Here is the link . I was talking to a few friends who have been in relationships for years and they don’t celebrate Valentines Day because its just a way for companies to make more money off of them. I found this funny since these are the same people who were scrambling to find the perfect gift a few months ago, to celebrate a holiday, for a god they don’t even believe in. Maybe it’s just me but if there is a day to celebrate loving someone, or just love in general, why not celebrate. It’s a beautiful thing. You can have everything in the world, but without love, who cares.

February 13, 2003

Yet again another person has mentioned that I am too shy. It really annoys me. Heaven forbid anyone think before they speak and contemplate why I might not be a jabber mouth. Hmm...Maybe I have been burnt in the past by people? Maybe I don’t have anything to really say? Maybe I don’t know what to say? Or hmm...Maybe I’m being nice and biting my tongue at what you are spewing? I just don’t run my mouth with people. I hear so much stuff all day; I hardly see what I have to say as important to anyone really. People come and go, friends come and go. If anyone took any real interest in me as a person, they would get over my outward façade of being shy and just talk to me. Anyhoo...I was listening to the radio yesterday and kept hearing this dumb news ad for coffee addiction and teens. From the commercial you would think it was a federal offense to go to starbucks if you are under 18. I don’t get it. We all have our crutches in life. Healthy or unhealthy. Whats next? A Fox news exclusive on teens and the dangers of chewing gum? Media just blows.

February 11, 2003

“Dude I’m getting some jail” So I couldn’t resist this one. Remember when the sniper was out there targeting innocent people. I had suggested that the sniper target this guy. The Dell Guy because his annoying commercials were on every 5 minutes. It seems he has been arrested for buying a bag of weed. Surprise. Who didn’t think this guy was high? Have you ever met someone who used the word “Dude” that didn’t smoke pot? Anyway, here is the story . Doooooooode

February 10, 2003

Awww Valentines..everywhere. For the first time in my life I actually have a valentine. I mean, not to get all gay and stuff but its kinda neat to actually have someone for once that makes a day I used to think was really lame, special. I think the only reason I didn’t like Valentines Day before was because I was with the wrong person or single. Either one will make cupid your enemy. So why do we celebrate this day anyways? I’ve heard that it’s a sham by big business to make more money so they created valentines day. Because as we all know, us Americans really need a day to dictate more spending. This was made up by some bitter women or single man, no doubt. Here is a link to some history.

February 7, 2003

  Everyone is buzzing about the Michael Jackson interview last night. I heard a lot of people saying how he is lying about his plastic surgery. Who cares? I mean, who hasn’t shaved a few pounds off their weight or said they were younger than they really are. There is no impact for anyone’s life in knowing anything about Michael Jackson’s surgeries. I guess since we are a society preoccupied with the appearance it makes sense why people are so consumed with it. But really, if he said he had hundreds upon hundreds of surgeries, the same criticism would follow. I think he is just living up to what everyone expects him to be, all freaky and weird. Hell, jokingly holding his baby over a balcony got more reaction than winning a lifetime achievement award. I think he’s just playing the media which is completely entertaining.

February 6, 2003

My journals have been lacking any real content lately. I’ve been so tired and I also caught a cold or something. I usually get sick around the holidays like this but not this year. I hope I’m not sick on Valentines Day. Last year I was so violently ill. Maybe it was because I was living with a forked tongue nightmare. I’m also moving into a new apartment. I’ve had to call a bunch of places to schedule my services to be turned off. I forgot how much good customer service is a lost form of communication. Everyone is so bored with their jobs. You can hear it. You would think having an agent repeat information because Im all stuffed up was like asking them to stick needles in their eyes. Ah well..I think this cartoon sums it up best.

February 5, 2003

February 4, 2003

February 3, 2003

This weekend I went to see my boyfriend play a show. The club turns into a dance club later in the evening. I don’t know but all the women in their tight little outfits only brought one thing to mind. Sausage. They were all squeezed into these little tiny dresses with folds here and there. Literally, their body shapes were like sausages. The front was all round and the back was all pushed forward. When we were walking to the car, there was this black woman in front of us and all these guys were going on and on about her ass. It was HUGE! Each guy she walked pass would try to touch her arm or call her to them. It was insane. She was all proud of her ass too. She kept looking in the store windows at her reflection. Nothing wrong with that. Big and beautiful is cool. I just thought it was crazy how men react to women. It’s no wonder those guys were standing at a gas station at 1:30 in the morning on a Saturday yelling and hollering for some sausage ass.