December 20, 2002

Im off until next weekend to mormon country. Yep. UTAH! WOO HOO! Everyone who reads this, have a great holiday! See you when I get back.

December 19, 2002

I heard an ad for the show called The Mole, only it’s the celebrity edition which has people like Stephen Baldwin and the super model Frederique as players. In some ways, I think its kinda cool that these ‘stars” are doing something a little different but on the other hand I think Reality TV blows! There was this article , just today talking about how half of 2,500 tapes shot for the six-episode run were waterlogged yesterday after firefighters doused a blaze at Hollywood Center Studio. I don’t know about you but some would see this as a set back. I would see it as divine intervention.

December 18, 2002

Can you believe Christmas is 1 week away? We keep getting baskets of cookies here at work and I can’t stop eating them!!! No wonder we all make New Years resolutions to lose weight after pigging out through the months of November and December. On another note. There are some new people here at work. I will never understand how a body part alone can make guys retarded. I guess it’s because I’m a girl and I also like the whole package. This new girl has cleavage but really, she is just fat. Is that catty? If she lost all her weight, her boobs would be tons smaller. She’s a pretty girl but I have decided I will never understand the way men think…the average retarded, undersexed or preference confused male that is.

December 17, 2002

December 12, 2002

There is a band called Race 2 Red that was sharing our rehearsal space and like some “rock star” wannabes here in L.A., they decided they didn’t have to pay their share of the rent. Therefore I think they SUCK ASS. There seems to be a character flaw with some musicians out here. They start worrying about their stage moves and dress over the bridges they burn along the way. I’m not saying you should bow down to everyone you meet but have some integrity. I found This Interview by Race 2 Red and I thought it was funny. They say that all that matters is what you think at the end of the day. True enough… but crap from these flakey Bitches. They have a website too called Race2Red.com , but it doesn’t work. It says you need a username and password. I could think of plenty of user names and passwords but alas, Username FlakeyBitches and password AreUs, failed.

I’m off to Arizona tomorrow for the weekend to go to my brother’s funeral. My mom asked if there was anything I would like to say and there is plenty but it wouldn’t be appropriate for me to get up to the mic and say “all of you are hypocrites” now would it. I would like to tell them all that sometimes love isn’t easy and tender and sweet. Sometimes its work and sometimes people struggle with taking help. It’s hard to show your weak and it’s hard to accept others for their weaknesses especially when they aren’t socially acceptable. God works in mysterious ways, I just wish his followers understood they are apart of the work.

December 11, 2002

I love the fact that people can capitalize on the unoriginal in the world. The ones who cant think for themselves and need a template for everything. This site LovingEulogies.com struck me as odd. When someone dies and you are asked to speak at the funeral what’s the first thing that comes to mind to do? Be alone for a little while and think about that person and how you feel? Or go to the internet and look up how you can purchase a Eulogy about your loved one for only $29.95? A sort of fill in the blank type of thing? I just don’t get it. Are we that out of touch that even remembering a loved one is means for swiping our credit card to have someone tell us how we feel? Its all to weird to me.

December 10, 2002

I found this link and thought it was funny. Ticket To Heaven I wonder if people really order it with the belief that they will go to heaven? I also found another link. It’s so bad. FuneralDepot.com This site has caskets with the Last Supper by Leonardo da Vinci painted on it!!! What the hell? It’s almost as bad as the Kiss Kasket. Have you seen this monstrosity before?

December 9, 2002

Leave it to me to find a comic about funerals. Actually, my horoscope that I get in email says “Humor may be the best way to cope with a grim situation. Laugh at the impossible, and then begin to make a list of the practical. The total collapse of something long established could be liberating.” My other one that I read from AOL says “Are you feeling like a square peg in a round hole? You open your eyes and suddenly everything seems strange today, Taurus. There must have been a big change when you weren't looking. It's not a good thing to be this off balance for too long. Adapt quickly to a new situation, but do your best not to force the issue. Everyone else is able to tell if you are a real player versus someone who's faking it. Doing something out of character tonight covers up the fact that you feel nervous.” Both of these make sense. It’s weird. I’m not an overly emotional person where I am all high strung and wear my feelings out in the open. I’m just finding it hard to know what feeling to go with. There’s a mixture of so many right now. I found this site about the History of Funeral Customs Dark, I know, but it is interesting reading. Like how fear of the dead caused the burning of bodies to destroy evil spirits. Here are a few other ones that were more for my own personal knowledge since I am a square peg in a round hole like my horoscope says and haven’t ever done drugs but I thought I would put them up anyway…. HeroinAddiction.com and Heroin

December 6, 2002

I found this poem a when I was younger only it was about cocaine. But I guess it’s a fill In the drug sort of poem. I’m not feeling to joker like right now so the bitch journal will turn into the depressed journal for a bit. I found out my brother died of an overdose of heroin yesterday so I’m not sure what I feel. It sucks that there is only so much help people can offer someone with an addiction. If they don’t want to take it, there’s nothing you can do. It’s a helpless feeling. I guess if there is anything I can say it’s that you can’t be afraid to ask for help or be afraid of change. Death is not the end, but a transition.

December 4, 2002

Its days like this that remind me of why I wish my gender was unknown. What is it about being female that makes men think we are all PMSing when we have a problem with something? Never mind how small or big the problem. “female upset…must be pms” What the fuck is that about? Speaking of asshole thinking, I found an article on Avril Lavigne called Rising Star or Rising Asshole . The title drew me in. Its done in just the style I like. Honestly Sarcastic. Here is another link I found since I have an issue with something..cough, I mean “PMSing” BOYS SUCK

December 3, 2002

There is this German guy who is offering $125,000 to any woman, from anywhere in the world, who can kill him with sex. Interested ladies? Here is the ABC Article . Oh the dreams of bored horny men with money. Here are some ramblings too.

December 2, 2002

It was a free preview weekend on DirecTV. So you know what that means. Free cable porn. I’m not a big fan of porn really but it’s entertaining enough. Most of it is more funny to me than anything else….the cheesy acting and music that sounds like something a high schooler made on his Casio keyboard for a school project…the 30 year olds playing 16 year olds with breast implants and bodies to die for. ..Sigh…The one I saw that was memorable (ok maybe that’s giving it more credit than it deserves) was Close Enough to Touch. One of the only ones that didn’t have the word SIN in the title. Here is a review , but here are a few notes on this quality masterpiece...The dad in this film does EVERYONE accept his wife, everyone’s name is repeated like 50 times (as if it matters) and all these skinamax (err Cinemax) flix are followed by the movie “The Mexican”. What a depressing follow to such quality entertainment. (insert sarcasm here)

And on a side note. If you own a cell phone and it is sitting next to you RINGING. ANSWER IT!!! Most people get this growing urge to smash your phone as the clever little ring tone your chose completes.