Martial Arts is a way of life.... It is about exploring what a person is capable of doing or not doing, and about being the kind of person that someone wants to be or does want not to be in life. A student can see many things about themselves and about others from their studies in the Martial Arts. So much self discovery can be opened to the student if they wish to see it/find it . The student can gain more respect for things in their life and also learn that violence is not always the best answer. At the same time they can gain skills that could save their life in a life threatening situation. It is so much deeper then just learning to protect yourself and the benfits are numerous. One also can see how important patience can be especially if you are an instructor. All students are different and all people learn at different rates of speed. Some students may learn better by using different approaches or different means. A good teacher will have patience in their teaching. There are countless benefits to gain from the arts both physically and mentally. Many students have gained a much deeper insight to all things/people that are around them. Some see these effects in different ways and some see things more deeply then others do. Martial Arts can open a whole new World for some people. It can be so rewarding and
it is also wonderful to feel the sense of confidence that perhaps the student can protect themselves in this World full of dangers.
Some people have the wrong idea about what the Martial Arts really is. Some think it is simply about being rough and
hurting people that get in your way. I have heard some negative things from uninformed people that will put the arts down without
really knowing much about the true martial artist, the ones that do use and carry the arts with a great respect and do not misuse their skills. Yes, there have been martial artists that have done things that were wrong and then all of a sudden some people say, "oh that person was/is involved in the martial arts" and then
people label the arts as bad because of what a few people have done that was wrong that were known to be involved in the arts. I think before people do this they should check out things.
In all of life anyone can misuse anything! There are good people and people
that are not so good, this is a given, but we should learn to see beyond gossip, and to educate ourselves with facts about things/people in life before we bad mouth anything or anyone.
Written By Mary L. 2002
My theory on bullies...
My theory on bullies...
I have found that most bullies are people that usually do not like themselves which is why they find it hard to like others. How can people like others if they can't even like themselves? Bullies tend to pick on people that are by nature are passive and often on the shy side, etc. They usually pick people to bully that they feel are no threat to them or their ego of being tuff. So if someone appears easy going and against violence the bully will go after that type of person before they will some other bully type that can damage their ego.
So many students at school encounter bullies and I feel sorry for those students. I think a bully lacks confidence in themselves, and they probably have had rough lifes and or have come from an environment where there they themselves have been pushed around or hurt by others. I think deep down they want to be liked and loved as perhaps they see that other people are liked and loved. Perhaps they are jealous of what they do not have in their own life, then it can turn to a deep seated anger which can then produce a bully.
I feel that a bully pushing others will gain a sense of power and control and it also gives them a form of attention from others that can encourages the bully. I think it is equally bad for others to encourage the bully. Maybe sometimes if a nice person would reach out and try to be nice or even befriend a bully it could change that person around. A bully does seem to want attention, it seems they pick the wrong way to gain the attention they want and need. A friend could perhaps set the bully on the right track by showing them attention and showing the bully that someone does cares about them. Maybe this would not work in all cases but I would say it might be worth a try. I think if you are being bothered by someone you should let someone else know about it. Keeping it to yourself does not let you vent and it also makes others aware in case you should need help at a certain point for your own safety. There is no shame in being fearful, or concerned over a bully. We all have fears and concerns that should be addressed. It could ease your fears if you share them with another person you trust.
I think the best thing to do is to avoid a bully if possible, if it is not then one could try the befriending, if that fails then I would let parents and teachers or law enforcement help handle the issue. If left go it could become a worse situation and even become dangerous. If you have some bully bothering perhaps you should be around at least one or more friends and try to avoid situations where you will encounter the bully. It might be a good idea not to feed into the their attitude by talking ill of them or being smart aleck to them as this will just ad fuel to the fire. Sometimes a bully will need to be put in their place if things get to bad. This may consist of the non bully victim using a very firm self assured tone in their voice, Warning the bully to back off. Using direct eye contact and a firm confident voice when you do warn them.
If the bully does attempt to hit you then perhaps a nerve technique/blocks will help you keep from being injured. Rememeber in many schools it does not matter who starts a fight both involved are suspended from school. In this case the victim is also punished for trying to protect themselves. You could use a block to stop the strike from hitting you then do a nerve technique of some sort to control the bully you are not setting yourself up for law suits as much as from inflicting very visible injury to that bully like broken bones. If you hit back when they do you could be be looking at having to pay the others hospital bill and also have to go to court, depending on who sees what happened and the events that take place before the altercation.
It is a shame that we have bullies, but I believe that there are different ways of handling them depending on the people involved and the situation. Since no two situations or bullies are the same what you have to do depends on certain factors. I see that there are a lot of bully related sites on the web for more info - they included hotline type chats and services or general information on the topic of the bully and how to deal with one. There are also books out on how one can deal with and protect yourself against aggressive people. If you do not study the martial arts perhaps buying a book on nerve or control techniques might be wise.
More on this topic soon. Mary
PEACE AND HARMONY IN LIFE
I FEEL A MARTIAL ARTIST SHOULD PROMOTE PEACE AND HARMONY IN LIFE..
Peace and harmony can be obtained by each of us accepting the different beliefs that people have, and by accepting people for what they are. We should not judge people by race, their religions beliefs, or their age, ect. If we learn to love unconditionally, like our pets often love us this place could be a better world in which we live.
We often find fault and see the mistakes others make and ignore out own short comings. We can often be to hasty in our judgement of others. Peace and harmony can come from trying to understand others better, being patient, and learning by the mistakes in life that we make or those that we observe other people make. We need to learn to accept ourselves for who we are as individuals. We can not change many things about ourselves, yet so many of us think we want this or that to be different. Other people usually see us different then we see ourselves. For example, we may hate a physical feature we have, yet others may find beauty in that feature.
We need to look deep inside of ourselves and see what is there!! The outside appearance is not nearly as important as what kind of person we really are. I have seen people very beautiful on the outside, but their inner self is not very nice. They may have mean, and unpleasant actions that they show to others. Beauty is something that is in the eye of the beholder. To be truly beautiful, I think a person needs to be compassionate, kind, thoughtful, and caring towards others. If we act these ways then we do indeed appear beautiful to others no matter what our physical appearance is. I have seen people get made fun of, called ugly, ect. I wonder what gives anyone the right to judge beauty? Who sets the guidelines for beauty anyway? Well, I feel we should not judge people like we do, or set the standards for what we think beauty is.
Peace and harmony means to be content, not in turmoil, at ease, happy, without conflict. To me it is to like our surroundings, who we are, what we do, and where we are with our lifes, and the people we are around, and the blessings in life we have. Often this is hard to do, but we must make the best of what we have and who we are. If we do not do this then we create conflicts within ourselves that can drag us down. Yes, we all want to change things in our lives, but often we can not. We should try to make changes in the things that are not good, and things we can change for the better. One can get a great sense of happiness if one accepts what life has to offer.
I have found that pleasure and beauty can be found in the simplist of things. I can look at some silly thing and find great beauty in it. Find something laying around and look deeply at it, think about it and you too may see more then just the surface of the object. You may see beauty and harmony in the form of a memory that comes to mind when you gaze at the item, or thinking about where the object came from. Try it if you think very deeply you will be amazed at that thoughts that will get into your mind about the object. I love finding pleasure and beauty in the simple things that are around me. We are not always aware of things because we do not take the time to REALLY look at things. We need to stop and just appreicate all that beauty around us that we usually are to busy to see. If we learn to do this we appricate things in life more. Life is to short to live in turmoil.
We should live life as best that we can and really look at things. Harmony is something we all need to find in our own way. To each of us it is something different. If we resist as many negative things as we can, and look for the beauty we each have in ourselves we will be more content in life. I thank God that I can still see the beauty of things that have passed, and look forward to the beauty that God still has to show me on my path to where I am going.
Mary, COPYRIGHT 1999