1. PREMI: Tum mujse sadi kab karogi?
   PREMIKA: jab mere parivar wale man jaye tab! PREMI: Tere parivar me kon kon he. PREMIKA: Mera pati or 3 bachhe!
2. Dekhne me CHIKNI ho, badan SILKY ho, Breast MILKY ho, pehni BIKINI ho, Neche uske MAKHMALI ho Lamba apna DANDA ho, usme jake hi THANDA ho!
3. Ek Ladka train me ladki se takraya.. Ladki boli tum aadmi ho ya JAANVAR? Ladka: Nahi ji.. JAAN to aap hai hum to VAR hai...
4. Customer: Iss kaanch (Mirror) ki guarantee kya hai. Shopkeeper: 100 feet ki uchai se fenko to 99 feet tak kuch nahi hoga!
5. 11girls asked 4 11 bananas from banana seller.
   Seller: Main darjan hi bechta hoon. Ek ladki ne kaha: lele yaar, ek kha lenge!
6. Boy: Yeh tumhari dono tango ke beech kya hai?
   Girl: Bus aise hi LAKIR hai. Aur tumhari tango ke beech yeh kya latak raha hai? Boy: Yeh bus uhi LAKIR ka FAKIR hai.
7. Boy: kash main teri chaddi hota to teri CHUT se chipka rehta.. Girl: Soch le chutiye, main kisi aur se CHUDA rahi hoti aur tu kisi kone mein pada rehta!
8. HU sugandh majani ne tame vas cho, hu varas anokhu ne tame adhik mas cho, hu dudh madhur ne  tame khati chaash cho,
   hu het haiya nu ne bhaisab tame moto tras cho!
9. Aadmi or janwar me kya fark hota hai?
   Aadmi buddhiman hota hai, uske pas emotion, feelings etc hota hai.
   AUR JANWAR.. Just a minute APNA INTRO TUM KHUD DO...!!
10. Dil kya chahta hai?
    Dil toh bas yahi chahta hai ki saat janmo tak teri-meri yaari rahe...
    Aur jab tak teri-meri yaari rahe, MERE msg ki baarish jaari rahe..!
11. 7 nude men standing in a row with their erected penis. Seeing them a guy asked r u all advertising 4 a condom? They replied "No, for 7Up"
12. Teacher to Sardar: akkal badi ya bhains? Sardar after thinking for sometime: Pehle dono ki date of birth to batao!
13. 1 sardar: yar ye murghi ke bache ande tod kar bahar kese aa jate hai? 2 sardar: pehle ye to  bata ke ye bandh ande me ghus kese jate hai??
14. Maine phone kar k pucha: hello is it 221714?
    Lady: Hindi me bolo. I asked Do-do-ek-sath-choda?
    Lady: nahi sir RELIANCE hai teen-teen-ek-sath-choda
15. Palat ke dekh zalim, tamanna hum bhi rakhte hai, husn tum rakhti ho to jawani hum bhi rakhte hai gehrai tum rakhti ho to lambai hum bhi rakhte hai!!
16. Ladki apne BF se: Kya shaadi ke baad bhi tum mujhe itna hi pyar karoge? BF: kyu nahi, arrey me to diwana hu shaadi shuda aurato ka!
17. Close ur eyes & imagine: Chand ka bed, taro ki razayi, phoolon ka takya aur pariyo k sapne! Come back 2 earth & sleep on ur own KHATIYA!
18. Shadi aur sagai ke bich me thodasa samay kyun rakha jata he? taki koi ye na keh sake ke mujhe DURGHATNA se bachne ka moka nahi mila!
19. Son kills butterfly, dad says, no butter 4 2wks. Son kill honey-bee, dad says, no honey 4 2wks. Mum kills cockroach,
    Son says: Dad, u tell her or should i??
20. Teacher: beta jimmedari kya hoti hai.
    Chintu: mam apke blouz ke 4 button mein se agar 3 too jaye to 4th button pe jo aayegi usko jimmedari kehte hain!
21. Q: whatr is Bill's definition of safe sex?
    A: When Hillary is out of town!
22. One day sardarji goes to the Bank for Withdrawing Cash. Lady Cashier asks in hindi "So-so ke loge? Sardarji replies: khade khade bhi chalega!
23. Womens life is hard. Morning: Wash clothes. Noon:Hang clothes. Evening:keep clothes. Night: Iron clothes. Midnight: Take off clothes.
    Middle of night: Find clothes!
24. A couple in train: Girl: my hand is paining. Boy kisses her hand Girl: my neck is paining. He kisses her neck.
    An old man: Bhai piles ka bhi ilaj karte ho kya?
25. Taxi driver to Marwadi passenger: Sir, car ki break fail ho gayi hai, kya karu? Marwadi: saale pehle yeh meter band kar!
26. Sardar ne ek admi ko pucha: kitna padhe ho? Admi bola "B.A." Sardar: Sala do akshar padha woh bhi ulta?
27. SMS Bhai Terms: To defeat-gand faad dena, To beat-gand mar dena,
    To make jealous-gand jalana, To think-gand khujana,
    To work hard-gand ghisna, To praise-gand chatna!
28. Sardarni sardar ka chus rahi thi CAR me. Achanak accident hua. 1admi ne kaha: Aap bal bal bach gaye. Sardar: CHUTIYE SIRF BAAL HI BACHE, BAKI KA WOH KHA GAYI!!
29. What r u doing? I'm propagating a Unicameral form of idiosyncrasy occuring malevolently in the meritorious piece of claterubial brain!
    In short, I'm thinking of U.
30. Sardar with 2 burnt ears to his DR. I was ironing pant & accidently pick up iron instd of phone. Dr:but wat abt othr ear?
    Sardar:that bastrd called me again!
31. Son asks his Dad diff btwn LOVE, RELIEF & BELIEF.
    Father says: Ur mom is my LOVE. Ur maid is my RELIEF & I'm your Dad- Well that's my BELIEF!
32. BRUCE LEE's Fav.:
    Vegetable: MU-LEE, Breakfst:ID-LEE, Festvl:DIWA-LEE, Actrs:SONA-LEE, Film:COO-LEE, Animal:BILL-LEE, Timepass:KHUJ-LEE!
33. Y do women atend coleg regularly? bcoz they knw tht mising a single period is sign of pregnancy!
34. Sardar: Mere jitna bada CONDOM milega?
    Vepari: tum itne bade CONDOM ka kya karoge?
    Sardar:Fancy dress me main LUND bana hoon!
35. Chal mere auzar ho ja taiyar, hila de chut ke taar, pi lena doodh bar bar, gand pe ho jana sawar, wo bhi yaar karegi mila tha koi ghodesawaar!
36. Try dis out! Go 2 msg, select write msg, go 2 options, now 2 dictionary & activate english. Then type these buttons 7867092784640846310.
    Arrey Try karna Mamu!
37. 1Sardar: Main ek aisi khoj karne ja raha hu jisse hum deewar k aar paar dekh sakte hai!! 2Sardar: Kya? 1Sardar: Khidki!
38. A girl to mom: Is it true that babies come out from same place where the boys put their penis?
    Mom: Yes. Girl: It means my baby will come out breaking my TEETH!!
39. SMS Bhai Presents GUJRATI GEETMALA:
    Odhani Odhe ne udi udi jaay, tu to nagi keway, tara bobla dekha, taro bhosdo choday, mara lodda ne kai kai thaay!!
40. Taxi driver: mam, u r 3rd pregnant lady that i'm dropping off to Airport today. Lady: I'm not pregnant!
    Driver: Ya but we have not reached Airport yet!
41. Ladkiya bahot smart hoti hai. Hame Rs 8 ka doodh pilati hai aur hamara Rs 140 ka ghee nikal jati hai.
42. Prove AB/AG+2MP+4WS+9MC= ABC ANS:A boy upon a girl+2 minute pressure+4 white drops +9 months course = A Beautiful Child
43. Dil armano se Houseful hai, poore honge ya nahi ye doubtful hai! Is duniya me har cheez wonderful hai, par khali haath jana ye kudrat ka fixed rule hai!
44. VEERU: Basanti in kutto k aage mat naachna. DESI RABARI WITH HIS DOG IN THEATRE: Arre naachengi kem nai? Kutta ni bi ticket lidhi se!!
45. 1 thing i like about u.. ki tum har kaam dil laga ke karate ho. You know why? Kyonki dimag ka option tumhare paas nahi hai!
46. Jack & Jill went up the hill to make their sex very hotter. Jack fucked Jill & broke her seal and came down with their daughter.
47. When you were born SHAITAN said: OH SHIT, ANOTHER ANGEL. When JuNeD, SMS Bhai was born
    SHAITAN said: OH SHIT, COMPETITION!!
48. Baap bete se: Tumhein kaisi biwi chahiye? Beta: Mujhe chaand jaisi biwi chahiye, jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye!!
49. Dravid was arrested in a rape case & brought 2 court. Judge asked: How did U do this? Dravid: WATCH ME IN ACTION REPLAY ONLY ON UR HUTCH GPRS PHONE..
50. Apke hath me mobile he.. chehre pe kuch smile he.. sms ki achhi-khasi file he.. phir bhi sms nahi karte ye kaun sa stupid style hai?
51. Logo ne pyar kiya to kya kiya. Pyar ki bewafai mein khud ko mita diya, Isi pyar mein log bane devdas. Par koi na ban saka mere jaisa bindas! (Contributed by my 12yr old cousin, Faizan)
52. Wo raat suhagwali thi. piya se chudnewali thi. Koi aako chod gaya. lund panty se phonch gaya.
    Uski maa ne kiya virodh koun chod gaya meri beti ko bina nirodh.
53. Kaho sardarji suhaagraat kaisi rahi?
    Kuch mat pooch yaar! Pehle 8 bar to Missed Call aur Wrong number lage aur jab sahi number laga to balance NIL thi.
54. Chaha hai jise chahat se zada, samjha hai jise muhabat se zada, bharosa hai jispe khud se zada... wo hi hai tu HARAAMZADA
55. Message from ladies hostel to electricity office after a power cut during night.
    "SEND UR MEN FAST, GIRLS ARE USING CANDLES"!!!!
56. A Gay donated money to the church. Priest to the Gay: U can select any 3 hymns. Gay stood up & pointed to 3 men & said HIM, HIM & HIM!!!!!
57. Y does a man marry? Bcoz romance is not the only element of life. U should also face horror, terror & Tragedy!!
58. Santa: I am organising Group Sex at my home, will u join? Banta: yes, yes, of course, how many people are there? Santa: Just three, Me, U & ur wife.
59. What will 2 homosexual men tell each other when they see a sexy girl?
    Yaar ladki aisi maal hai to iska BHAI kaisa chikna hoga???!!!!!
60. Jab tumhe dekhu, my dil start flyin, tumse baat karne ko i keep tryin, jab tu dur jaye i feel like cryin, arre itna tension matle i was lying!!
61. Bhoot ko chudel se pyar ho gaya, bola chalna dono CHODTE hain. Chudel: Chalo.. Bhoot: Lekin kahan? Chudel: Bhosadike, Lodde, kahin bhi chod le na, hame kaun dekhnewala hai!!
62. Wife: Dekho na woh aadmi mujhe ghoor ghoor ke dekh raha hai. Husband: Oye, tu fikar na kar, woh KABADI hai
    BHANGAR par nazar to rakhega hi..!!!
63. Pav bhaji without potato is jain pavbhaji. Bhel without onion is called jain bhel. Sixteen times rape in 3 years without complain is jain rape!!
64. Kid: What's sex? Mom gets tensed but tells him all about it. Kid takes out a school form & says: how do i write all that in this small box??
65. Boy: 2inch ki gufa, 5 minute ka maja, akhkha ghus gaya to 9 mahine ki saza
    Girl: A lund nadan, tune kahan dekha chuto ka maidan, jo aaya akadke wo gaya labadke
66. There is a nerve which connects ur asshole 2 ur eyes calls ANAL OPTIC NERVE.
    Dont believe me? Pull a hair 4m ur asshole & see tears coming 4m ur eyes!
    
     

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