|
|
|
JuNeD™ Presents Khujlis™
|
Khujli of the Week
One day a
Sardarji was having his morning tea on the 83rd floor of a building in New
York. All of a sudden ,a man comes to his room and tells him,"banta,i've got
bad news for you. your daughter died today." |
|
| Musharraf's Condom Dilemma |
| General Musharaf,
President of Pakistan was awoken at 4 am by the telephone. "Jannab, its the
Minister of Health here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Rawalpindi has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire Pakistani supply of condoms will be gone by the end of the week." "What a disaster! The economy will never be able to cope with all those unwanted babies- we'll be ruined!" "We're going to have to ship some condoms in from abroad..." " Afghanistan?..." "No chance!! The tabloids will have a field day on this one!" "What about India?" "Maybe- but we don't want them to know that we are stuck. Call the Indian Prime Minister, Vajpayee- tell him we need one million condoms; coloured gold and green; ten inches long and eight inches thick! That way they'll know how big the Pakis really are!!" Miyan Musharaf called Vajpayee, who agreed to help the Pakis out in their hour of need. Three days later a flight arrived in Islamabad- full of boxes. A delighted Gen. Musharaf rushed out to open the boxes. He found condoms; 10 inches long; 8 inches thick, all coloured green and gold. He then noticed in small writing on each and every one: MADE IN INDIA SIZE : SMALL |
| Here are the 25 signs that life is getting ridiculous. |
| 1. You just tried to enter
your password on the microwave. 2. You have a list of 15 phone #'s, to reach your family of three. 3. You call your son's beeper to let him know it's time to eat. He e-mails you back from his bedroom, "What's for dinner?" 4. Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her website. 5. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken with your next door neighbor in years. 6. You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea. 7. You need a new computer. Your computer is working fine, but you need one with a bigger hard drive to store all of your MP3's. 8. Your grandmother clogs up your e-mail inbox asking you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver. 9. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home. 10. Every commercial on television has a website address at the bottom of the screen. 11. You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date and now sells for half the price you paid. 12. The concept of using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase, is foreign to you. 13. Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car. 14. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses. 15. You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow. 16. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet. 17. Your idea of being organized, is multicolored Post-It notes. 18. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person. 19. You get an extra phone line so you can get phone calls. 20. You turn off your modem and get this awful feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one. 21. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee. 22. You wake up at 4 AM, to go to the bathroom and check your e-mail on your way back to bed. 23. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :-) 24. You're reading this. 25. Even worse; you're going to forward it to someone else! |
| SARDAR MUMMY WRITES A LETTER TO HER "CANADA WALAH" SON |
| Dear Gurmeet, I am in a well here and hoping you in the same well there. I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles. I wont be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they wouldnt have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address Plate here, so that our address will remain same too. The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket. Your sister had a baby this morning.I haven't found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your uncle, Jetinder fell in a the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfil his fathers last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father. There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened. Love Mom. P.S : Beta, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized,I had already sealed off this letter. |
| Endless Search |
| A lady placed an
advert in the local paper Rich Widow in search of a Man to share life and
Fortune, with the following qualifications: * Won't beat me up. * Won't run away from me. * Must be great in bed. Her phone rang off the hook for a whole month, but all to no avail. None of the men seemed to meet her needs. Then when she had all but given up, the doorbell rang, she opened the door and found a man with no arms or legs, lying on the welcome mat. Perplexed, she asked, "Who are you and what do you want?" "Hey," said the man "Your search is over - I'm the man of your dreams. I've got no arms, so I can't beat you up and I've got no legs, so I can't run away." The lady asked, "And what makes you think you're so great in bed?" To which he replied, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?" |
| Mera Bharat Mahan! |
| An Indian dies and
goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes first to the German hell and asks what do they do here?" He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell. Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a very long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks, "What do they do here?" He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?" Because there is never any electricity, so the electric chair does not work, someone stole all the nails, and the devil used to be a public servant, so he comes in, punches his time-card and then goes back home..." |