Originally published at Mogenic (March 2002)
Rosie O' Donnell, the actress, comedienne, talk show host, and namesake
for the popular magazine once known as McCalls, is publishing an
autobiography in which she comes out as a lesbian. The book isn’t due until
April, but the cat, as they say, is out of the bag and a topic of discussion on
every talk show but her own.
"What do you think of Rosie O' Donnell coming out of the closet?" Mario Lopez asked the audience on The Other Half, a show whose trio of male hosts is led by Dick Clark, still known as America's Oldest Teenager but looking more like Boris Karloff in The Mummy everyday. "Sexuality is such a private matter," piped one member of the predominantly female audience. "I think her children will suffer," said another. Co-host Danny Bonaduce, whose name appears on records with both the Partridge Family and the Los Angeles Police Department, agreed. "Sexuality is such a personal thing," he said. Besides, he wondered, “Did anyone think Rosie O’ Donnell was NOT gay?”
Satisfied that they had done their part to build a barricade against Rosie's closet door, they turned their attention to other matters. First up was a discussion of women's sexuality. Do women use their sexuality to get ahead? Many thoughts on this, but no one, not the audience nor the hosts, expressed the opinion that sexuality is a "personal, private thing" unsuitable for discussion in public.
Next came an interview with the author of a book in defense of the "other woman." Again, no "personal," no "private," and no "thing." On an earlier show, there was a visit to a hair salon in Brooklyn, N.Y. to learn what women talk about under the dryers (men, naturally, and sex), and a discussion meant to answer the question, “Does Size Matter?” (One brave soul said yes. "Sex is an important part of a relationship and if you can't feel anything..."). Sex, sex, and nothing but sex, and never any mention of sex as a "personal, private thing" until the sexuality in question includes an extra two syllables, as in homosexuality.
That such double standards are so blatantly practiced and accepted without question is one reason why Rosie O' Donnell needs to come out. The fact is there is nothing less private than a person’s sexuality. A man and woman who hold hands in public are announcing their sexuality to everyone who observes them. Dating, courtship, and certainly marriage are all expressions of sexuality. Place your true love’s photo on your desktop at work, and your sexuality is trotted out for the benefit of your co-workers.
Sexuality is more freely expressed than political views, and it’s overwhelmingly encouraged unless, of course, it’s homosexuality. Two women who hold hands in public are committing a major no-no. (If it’s two men, add an extra no.) And if one’s sexuality isn’t readily apparent, it will be assumed, like it or not. Why else would Danny Bonaduce think Rosie O’ Donnell is gay even when her closet door was closed?
Gay people are a threat, of course, but not to “traditional family values.” The threat is to the concept of majority rule. As a result, gay people who dare to express their sexuality in public invite stares, whispers, gasps, giggles, and sometimes harassment and violent assault. Being openly gay can also cost a person his or her job, and, in Florida, where Rosie O’ Donnell lives, laws forbid gay people from adopting children. As the mother of three adopted children, as well as a foster parent to a child she hopes to adopt, Rosie O’ Donnell is coming out in self-defense and in defense of other gay and lesbian parents.
She is wealthy enough to simply pull up stakes and move elsewhere, but has bravely chosen to fight at great cost to herself. Such a move is commendable. It’s also beyond the comprehension of TV talk show hosts for whom sexuality is always salacious: A topic to sensationalize as they snicker their way to big ratings.
Like it or not, Rosie O’ Donnell is coming out, and she’s coming out fighting.
© Copyright 2002 Brian W. Fairbanks
