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Witty Comebacks, Insults, & Other Mean Stuff to Bullies

Welcome, welcome! Just to tell you, "P" is for the person you're talking to!

P.S.I hv my resources... you may recognize them somewhere...


Witches, Costumes, Barbies, and Halloween:

P: My friends have a bet. They bet that you're not around here, but I just think you want a six-month head start on Halloween.
U: You're right, it's the Halloween thing. Now just lend me that mask you're wearing and it'll be the most hideous costume ever!

P: What, are you trying to be Barbie [Ken] or something?
U: You should know. You're acting like Ken [Barbie].

P: Halloween isn't until October, [girls, guys]
U: Then why are you acting like such a [witch, {insert guy subsitute}]?

Random Comeback to Any Insult:

Right. I am a total [geek, nerd, freak, dork, ditz, brat] *insert smirk here* Whatever.

Stop insulting yourself, [insert name of person you're talking to here].

If whoever is talking keeps on talking, just say, "I'm busy, do you mind?"

Are You Smart?:

If the class genius points out you [got a C or D on the pop quiz, failed the final, are not in the honor roll] properly reply, "Why, how kind of you to notice," and say it like you don't really care!!!

U: Your hair is messed up.
P: Your brain is messed up.
U: At least I have one.

Random Acts of Unkindness:

It's funny, how a [guy, girl] like you can have such a tiny brain and still have a huge mouth.