my page of megolomania exists for the following reasons:
here's an introductory quiz to see just where we stand:
do you do drugs?
do you have an interest in any of the arts?(i.e. theatre, music, dance, etc.,)
can you sit through an entire lakers game?
have you ever commited a violent crime?
do you drink alcohol?
if you answered yes or no to any of these questions, my opinion of you is that you are a fucking retard for even answering them.
just kidding, motherfucker. don't be so goddamn fucking anal.
by the way, this page will contain profanity and nude images of burnt monkeys.
so...
if you're offended by things like that, you're a fucking retard and must keep reading on.
jesus christ this html shit is a pain in the ass. i don't know how to do spacing so all my sentences are gonna be very uniform and conform, just like you, you piece of shit.
i'm just kidding again, you fucking derelict. seriously, you need to get a sense of humor.
so anyhow, my name is charles and i'm a 21 year-old illegal alien living in this family's attic without their knowledge. my only possessions are this computer, three cans of gasoline and a bic lighter.
sometimes at night i'll sneak down into the parents' bedroom and quickly punch the dad in the face and hide under their bed to hear their arguments of mass confusion.
my reply?
GO, you fucking illiterate son of a bitch, i never wanted you here anyway.
i'm...i'm sorry, baby. i don't know what came over me...
please stay--i need you, baby. i...i love you.
but seriously, asswipe, i'll wind down my longwinded ramblings now, and leave you with my last diary entry dated December 21, 1994:
Dear Diary,
today is Wednesday and i'm fucking starving. i haven't been able to sneak downstairs and eat anything because the goddamn kids are home all fucking day for christmas break. yesterday, i almost lost it and barely stopped myself from just killing them to steal a piece of their kfc. instead, i just ate some of the old lady's noxzema cream. it's funny though, as i was eating it, i kept getting angrier and angrier at her for buying such a shitty tasting facial cream. i know it's not her fault and now i feel guilty for taking a shit on her pillow. i overheard her screaming when she got home that night. fuck man, i guess the fact that there was all this noxzema-diarhea on her bed really freaked her out 'cause i think i heard them beating the shit outta their dog. anyway, i'm doing alright, i guess. earlier today, i took that old used condom that was up here and hid it inside one of the dad's pockets. should make for an interesting laundry day.
but seriously, those fucking kids NEVER leave the house. i remember the only time was last thursday. they finally went out to the market for like an hour, and i snuck down and stomped on all their christmas gifts. it was really relaxing until i discovered one of them was a pet lizard. WAS a pet lizard. heh. hmm, let's see, what else did i do...oh yeah, i was digging through the son's room and i found this old issue of 'Naked Sailors' magazine. i took it, and left a note in its place that read
"Son, you know just as well as I do that I am an ignorant, close-minded asshole. So, it should come as no surprise when I tell you that I would rather play a game of catch in the yard with a corpse than a homo. Don't ever bring this up or I'll prove it.
Love, Dad.
i'm tired now. good nite.
I'm a hemophiliac and I have a bloody nose
backdoor action-- into it?
meet someone new.
boo boo play gamey
i'm trying to become a script-writer, read or buy my script
click here to move forward in your pathetic search for happiness
click here for a recent update. i actually did an update. jesus christ i'm pathetic.
click this unless you're a gutless chickenshit
Lookin for Love in all the wrong places? Click here to finally find it, you inept prick!
pikachu harbors crabs
