Part 7 ~ ... Or Dare

 Emily stretched across the couch and reached her hand into the popcorn bowl. She popped half of the kernels into her mouth before settling more comfortably into Lucky’s lap, “Carly, truth or dare?”

 Carly groaned, and drank her water, “Do I have to?”

 “Got something to hide?”

 Carly sighed, “I’m an open book. What do you want to know?”

 “So that’s truth? Hmmm... do you regret anything you’ve done?”

 “Ever?”

 “Since you’ve been in Port Charles.”

 Carly thought for a second, “Honestly, I regret hurting people. Tony, Bobbie, Jason, AJ, everyone. I didn’t see it as doing anything wrong. But when I scheme and lie, I feel alive. I won’t lie to you, I like living.  I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.”

 “Grand?” Lucky repeated, taking the last half of Emily’s popcorn and throwing it at his sister.

 Carly reached back into the bowl, “Grand, grand grand!” She taunted, tossing popcorn back at him.

 Lucky just laughed, “Whatever. Go ahead, your turn.”

 “Hmmm.” She rubbed her hands together greedily, “Nikolas! Truth or dare?”

 Nikolas held up his hands, “If I told you that I didn’t know how to play, could I skip my turn?”

 Lucky sighed at his older brother, “It’s truth or dare. Truth or dare! What else do you need to know?”

 Nikolas laughed, “I just wanted out. Okay Car, truth.”

 “Okay, okay, I’ve got it. Since you’re a prince and never really wanted anything in life, what’s the one thing you would give up everything for?”

 He didn’t even hesitate, “Laura. Or, to be more to the point, her love. To know that it’s unconditional, and accepts me, and doesn’t feel the need to hide me away, or put my needs behind Luke’s, or Lucky’s, or Lulu’s.”

 Lucky looked at his brother, “Man, I didn’t kno-”

 “It’s my turn now, right?” Nikolas interrupted, “And I choose Sonny.”

 Sonny looked at Nikolas from where he stood on the steps, “Excuse me? I go up to check on Lulu and Michael, and I come down to this? What are we doing?”

 “Truth or dare.” Emily answered, scrapping the last of the popcorn out of the bowl.

 “I hate that game.” He reached over Emily and grabbed the bowl, “I’ll go refill this.”

 Lucky took it back, “That’s okay, Em’s had enough. Sit, talk, play the game.”

 Sonny sighed, “Fine. Truth.”

 “What’s your biggest fear?”

 He walked around to sit next to Carly, “Losing Carly.” She leaned against him and he wrapped his arm around her waist, “Losing Michael. Not having a family. Never getting to know my father. Becoming like my stepfather. Family scares me. Having a family scares me as much as not having a family.”

 Carly leaned over and kissed him on the lips, “Good answer.”

 “Who hasn’t gone yet?”

 “Lucky.” Emily answered.

 Lucky gently pushed Emily from his lap and stood up, “I guess it’s time to refill the popcorn bowl...”

 Carly laughed, “I guess it is. But you play, I’ll go refill it.”

 Nikolas stood up, “I’ll come with you.”

 She smiled at her brother, “Okay.” She stood up, “Ask him something good Sonny.” She smiled at Lucky and took the bowl from his hands, while pushing him back onto the couch, “Truth, remember?”

 “Or dare.” He reminded her. “You’re not making any friends with your newest brother. I could convince myself not to like you.”

 She leaned down, “You don’t have to like me,” she placed a loud, smacking kiss on his cheek, “You just have to love me!”

 Nikolas laughed as he followed her into the kitchen, “Carly, can I ask you something?”

 She reached into the cupboard and pulled out a bag of microwave popcorn, “Sure.” she replied, placing it in the microwave.

 “Have you ever thought that you have no control of your destiny?”

 Carly turned to her half brother, “Have you ever seen me in action? I’m almost never in control.” She watched as Nikolas’ face fell, “And that has nothing to do with what you were asking...”

 “What if someone you never met, someone you never talked to, someone you ever saw, was the only someone for you?”

 Carly placed her hands on the counter, and pushed herself up so she was sitting on it, “I’m not really sure what you’re asking. Is this about you, or about me?”

 “Me.” Nikolas sighed, “I’m twenty-three. In two years I’m going to be head of the Cassidine Industries. I’m not even dating anyone.”

 “What do the two have to do with each other?”

 “I’m the Cassidine Prince. When I take over the family in a few years, everything will be to my discretion. But no Cassidine man has ever been head of the family without a wife by his side.”

 “You can’t rush love. Things take time.” Carly gently reminded him.

 Nikolas raised his eyebrows in disbelief, “You really think I’m going to find someone in this town?”

 Carly reached out and took one of Nikolas’ hands in her own, “Close your eyes.”

 “Carly.”

 “Close your eyes. Very good. Now, picture the wife of your dreams, and describe her to me.”

 “I can’t.”

 Carly scooted down off of the counter and placed a hand on her brother’s face, “I won’t tell anyone, if you’re worried about that.”

 Nikolas shook his head, his eyes still closed, “No, I can’t tell you, because I can’t  picture someone that I could imagine marrying.”

 “Why not? I thought everyone had an idea about the perfect person.”

 “That’s just it. There’s no perfect person for me. I don’t know how to love. I struggle with that everyday of my life. I see Lulu, and I know I should be feeling more than I am. I look at Laura and at Leslie, and I know something’s missing inside of me. I grew up with only Stefan loving me, and wanting a mother. I can’t love a woman. I just can’t.”

 “You never have?”

 “I’ve had affairs. Women in Greece, Katherine. But I’ve never loved anyone, because I don’t know how. I never learned how. There’s this wall inside of me that I can’t break down to love someone.”

 Carly held up her hand, “Time out. What exactly to you want me to do?”

 “Teach me how to love.”

 “Nikolas.....” She broke off, not knowing what to say, “I can’t teach you how to love.”

 He sighed, disappointed, “Then how did you learn to love?”

 “Virginia loved me, and I just knew what it felt like. When I had Michael, I knew I loved him, because his needs were more important to me than mine ever could be.”

 “How did you know when you loved Sonny?”

 “I would lose my train of thought when he would walk into the room. He’d smile at me, and my knees would go weak. He would hold me in his arms, and I’d have to force myself to pull away. For the first time in my life, I planned ahead, because I wanted to spend as much time with Sonny as I could.”

 “So it’s like an obsession?”

 “I guess, only it’s like they’re obsessed with you too. When you find the perfect person for you, you’ll know, without a shadow of a doubt. When the person comes for you to love, you’ll be able to.”

 “Are you sure?”

 Carly pulled Nikolas into a hug, “If I can find true love, anyone can.”

****

 Emily knocked on the kitchen door before entering, “All clear?”

 Carly laughed, “Come on in Em.”

 Emily walked into the kitchen and saw Carly wiping her eyes, and Nikolas’ hand pressed to her back, “I can come back....”

 Nikolas shook his head, “Nah, I was just about to take the popcorn back in.”

 Emily nodded, “Okay.”

 Carly watched her brother leave the kitchen and she wiped her eyes again, “You must think I’m pretty silly. There’s just so much going in my head today, it’s hard to think straight.”

 “Don’t worry about it.” Emily said, “You just got a whole new family. I remember when the Quatermaine’s adopted me, I was in a daze for weeks. And I knew they were going to adopt me. You had no warning about this whole thing.”

 “It’s weird though. I mean, I was a Spencer. I was related to all of these people, but now, it’s like I don’t know anyone. I baby-sat for Lulu. I’ve taken Lucky out for lunch, and I’ve spent time with Laura, and now it’s like I don’t know them. Like they’re strangers.”

 “They are.”

 “No they aren’t.” Carly hopped back up onto the counter.

 “Yes. There’s a difference between being someone’s cousin, and sharing a father. Take Lucky for example:  Lucky prided himself on being the heir, if you will, to the Spencer’s. And then Nikolas came along, and he wasn’t Laura’s oldest son anymore. Now you’re around, and you’re Luke’s oldest daughter. He’s going to feel left out in all of this exictment. He’s lost his position as the oldest twice. First as Laura’s son, and now as Luke’s child. Include him. If you go out to lunch with Luke take Lucky with you.”

 “Okay.” Carly whispered, intrigued, “Tell me more.”

 “Then we have Lulu. Everyone thinks she’s very shy, but once you get to know her, she’s all talk. Help her with her homework when school starts again. Take her shopping, swimming. Include her, and you’ll have a permanent in with Laura. The woman adores her daughter. Loves her to pieces and will do anything for her. Remember that.”

 “Laura has a special place in her heart for Lu. Got it. Anything else?”

 “And then you have Nikolas. He’ll swear that Laura loves him the least, but she always treats him the best. I don’t know if it has to do leaving him behind, but she’ll do anything for him, even if he doesn’t realize it. Now, I know Nikolas wants to become friends, and if you accept that, you will have to spend time with Laura. She worships her kids, even if she doesn’t show it. And if you help your father become close with Nikolas, Laura will be in your debt for the rest of your life. She’s been trying to get her husband and son together for years. Succeed in that, and you will have succeed in something most of this town has been trying to do forever almost. I love Luke, and Nikolas is my best friend, and I know that I hate having to check myself around them.”

 “So if I bond with the kids, Laura will like me?”

 “Yes.”

 “I need her to like me Em, I want my stepmother to love me.”

 “I like you Carly, and who ever thought that was possible?”

 Carly laughed, “Flattery will get you no where.”

 “Come on, let’s get back into the living room. I don’t want your boyfriend teaching my boyfriend any bad traits.”

 “As if Lucky doesn’t have any.”

 “Lucky’s perfect. I’ll swear to that!”

 “Sure, sure. You know what they say ‘love is blind’!”

****

 “This has been real fun, but I’m going to bed. Some of us have to work in the morning.” Sonny said, standing up and kissing Carly’s forehead good night.

 Emily checked her watched, “Three in the morning. I have a shoot tomorrow too. I’ll walk upstairs with you.”

 “Wimps.” Lucky muttered.

 “Hey!” Emily said, gently smacking the back of his head, “The makeup artist will kill me if I have bags. At least Sonny gets caffeine at work.”

 “Leave the address of the shoot on the desk when you leave, and I’ll have someone bring over hazelnut for everyone.”

 “French vanilla for me, and you’ve got a deal.”

 “Deal.” Sonny said, walking away. “Lucky and Nikolas, take the room at the very right when you come to the top of the stairs. Em, the room across from Michael is all ready. ‘Night.”

 “I’ll be up later.” Carly said, standing up and starting to pick up the trash.

 Lucky kissed Emily good night, and went after his sister, “Call me during your break.”

 “I will.” She said, standing up, “Nikolas, you coming?”

 “Yeah, I’ll come to bed. Good night Car!”

 “Good night Nikky!” She called back laughing.

 “Nikky?” Lucky questioned, putting glasses into the dishwasher.

 “He said I could call him that. Sort of a welcome into the ‘Secret Child of the Spencer’s’ club.”

 Lucky nodded slowly, “Sure....”

 Carly instantly felt bad, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean to make you feel like Nikolas and I are planning something without you and Lu.”

 Lucky silenced her with a smile, “Carly, it’s okay.”

 “So you’ll try and accept me as family?”

 “You are family.” Lucky reassured her, “Just a different kind now. It’s going to take some getting used to. I hate my family’s lies. I hate secrets, and I hate being kept in the dark. Dad wasn’t planning on telling any of us, you do realize that, don’t you?”

 She nodded, “Bobbie wasn’t going to tell me until I asked. This might be hard on you Luck, but it’s so much harder for me.  I grew up thinking that my mother was my birth mother. Then on my fifteenth birthday, I find out I’m adopted. So I track my birth mother down, and in the process my real mother dies. Bobbie and I were finally connecting. She was trusting me not to lie, and I was trusting her not to leave me. And today I learn that the person I thought was my uncle is my father. Try to see it from my point of view.”

 “That’s not the point.”

 Carly sighed, “During your life, has there every been a time you felt unloved? Or unwanted?”

 “No.”

 “I have. It’s a horrible feeling Lucky. You might have had countless identities growing up in life, but you’ve always had two parents, the same two parents that always loved you, no matter. That is what I want. That’s what Nikolas wants. I bet you didn’t even know that Nikolas feels unloved by Laura, did you?”

 “Not until tonight.”

 “You’ve never taken the time to really get to know our brother. Sure, you were gone for a year, but after that, you were to busy falling in love with Emily to show your brother that you still cared. Nikolas and I were brother and sister when I thought Bobbie was my mother. I learned some things from him. Bobbie was the first woman that he felt truly loved him. I want Laura to like me. To love me, in fact. But if she can’t love me, then she’ll love Nikolas the way he needs to be loved. I’ll see to that.”

 Lucky held up his hands in surrender, “Honestly, I don’t know how we started talking about this, but I didn’t mean to make it seem like you and Nikolas are less important because you’re not true Spencers.”

 “I am a true Spencer.” Carly informed him, “I’m more of a Spencer than your mother, because I have Spencer blood in my veins. I don’t think Nikolas even wants to be a Spencer, he just wants Laura to love him unconditionally, and Luke to tolerate him, maybe to invite him to dinner on his own accord.”

 Lucky watched Carly stalk out of the kitchen. He quickly threw the rest of the garbage in the trash and chased after her, “Carly!”

 “What?” She snapped.

 “I’m sorry.” He ran a hand through his spikey hair, “I don’t know how we always end up fighting.” He grinned at her, trying to lighten the situation, “But at least we’re acting like brother and sister...”

 She rubbed her hands over her face, “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Things will be going fine, and then boom! Everything’s wrong, and I twist things around until it seems like people are attacking me.”

 “Anything I can do to make things easier?”

 “Make your mom like me?” She asked.

 He laughed, “Mom does like you.” He looked into her eyes and saw she was about to collapse. He opened his arms, “How about I just hold you?”

 Carly nodded and slowly stepped towards him, “That’s the best offer I’ve had all day.”