microsoft windows + viagra =
THE HAND IS QUICKER THAN THE EYE... THAT'S WHY WE DON'T SHAKE EACH OTHER'S PUPILS WHEN WE MEET
if time is a river
please give me a few minutes
to drown my sorrows
CAN CANNIBALS READ PALMS
WITHOUT MOVING THEIR LIPS??
CELL PHONES DON'T
GIVE US BRAIN TUMORS.... WHAT CALLERS ARE SAYING TO US IS WHAT'S
GIVING US BRAIN TUMORS!
ALL THE DWARVES JUST PASSED THEIR
DRUG TEST BUT HAPPY!
AFTER ARISTOTLE SAID
"EVERYTHING iN MODERATION"
DID HIS FRIENDS START SENDING HIM
"GET FAIRLY WELL" CARDS WHEN HE WAS SICK?
if BVD merged with DVD
we could all just
download our underwear
and carry it around with us
in our pocketS
we were so poor
we didn't even have a crock pot to piss in slowly for 8 hours while mom was at work
OK, YOU KNOW WHY THE CAGE BIRD
SINGS - NOW TELL ME WHY IT HAS TO ACCOMPANY ITSELF ON THE ACCORDIAN
ALL HOURS OF THE DAY AND NIGHT!
TARZAN is just one i short
of being a backwards nazi rat
IF YOU'VE GOT TALENT,
AND BURGLARIZE ENOUGH MUSIC STORES
YOU TOO CAN BECOME
A ONE-MAN CHAIN GANG!
if jesus had been a plumber
instead of a carpenter,
would he have died for our sinks?
I JUST BOUGHT A 2-WAY REARVIEW
MIRROR SO THE COPS CAN'T SEE ME SPEEDING
i'm not really stupid myself
i've just been exposed to a lot of
in restaurants and bars
if i were a day trader
i'd be the guy stuck with a warehouse full of mondays
HEADS UP: THE SUPREME COURT HAS JUST OK'D THE WIRETAPPING OF SUSPICIOUS FIRES!
IF THE SQUEAKY WHEEL GETS THE GREASE EVERY DAY AT WORK WHAT DOES IT GET AT ITS RETIREMENT PARTY?
it's a paint-by-numbers world
and all i have is this lousy spray can of black
(all this crap ©1999 by d.j. birtcher)