~Chorus~

Stop the tape! This kid needs to be locked away! (Get him!)
Dr. Dre, don't just stand there, OPERATE!
I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die
(Fuck that!)
I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive
(Huh yup!) Am I comin or goin? I can barely decide
I just drank a fifth of vodka -- dare me to drive? (Go ahead)
All my life I was very deprived
I ain't had a woman in years, and my palms are too hairy to hide
(Whoops!) Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk (hachhh-too)
I spit when I talk, I'll fuck anything that walks (C'mere)
When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits
HOW YOU GONNA BREAST FEED ME MOM? (WAH!)
YOU AIN'T GOT NO TITS! (WAHHH!)
I lay awake and strap myself in the bed
Put a bulleproof vest on and shoot myself in the head (BANG!)
I'm steamin mad (Arrrggghhh!)
And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah?)
Tell him that I slit his throat, in this dream I had

~Chorus~

Guilty Conscience

Announcer

Meet Eddie, twenty-three years old. Fed up with life and the way things are going, he decides to rob a liquor store. ("I can't take this no more, I can't take it no more homes") But on his way in, he has a sudden change of heart. And suddenly, his conscience comes into play... ("Shit is mine, I gotta do this.. gotta do this")

Dr Dre

Alright, stop! (Huh?)
Now before you walk in the door of this liquor store
and try to get money out the drawer
You better think of the consequence (But who are you?)
I'm your motherfuckin conscience

Eminem

That's nonsense!
Go in and gaffle the money and run to one of your aunt's cribs
And borrow a damn dress, and one of her blonde wigs
Tell her you need a place to stay
You'll be safe for days if you shave your legs with an aged razor blade

Dr. Dre

Yeah but if it all goes through like it's supposed to
The whole neighborhood knows you and they'll expose you
Think about it before you walk in the door first
Look at the store clerk, she's older than George Burns

Eminem

Fuck that! Do that shit! Shoot that bitch!
Can you afford to blow this shit? Are you that rich?
Why you give a fuck if she dies? Are you that bitch?
Do you really think she gives a fuck if you have kids?

Dr. Dre

Man, don't do it, it's not worth it to risk it! (You're right!)
Not over this shit (Stop!) Drop the biscuit (I will!)
Don't even listen to Slim yo, he's bad for you
(You know what Dre? I don't like your attitude..)

sounds of static

"It's alright c'mon, just come in here for a minute"
"Mmm, I don't know!"
"Look baby.."
"Damn!"
"Yo, it's gonna be alright, right?"
"Well OK.."

Announcer

Meet Stan, twenty-one years old. ("Give me a kiss!") After meeting a young girl at a rave party, things start getting hot and heavy in an upstairs bedroom. Once again, his conscience comes into play... ("Shit!")

Eminem

Now listen to me, while you're kissin her cheek
and smearin her lipstick, I slipped this in her drink
Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little bitch's earlobe..
(Yo! This girl's only fifteen years old
You shouldn't take advantage of her, that's not fair)
Yo, look at her bush.. does it got hair? (Uh huh!)
Fuck this bitch right here on the spot bare
Til she passes out and she forgot how she got there
(Man, ain't you ever seen that one movie kid?)
Pssh no, but I seen the porno with SunDoobiest!
(Shit, you wanna get hauled off to jail?)
Man fuck that, hit that shit raw dawg and bail..

sound of static pickup idling, radio playing

announcer

Meet Grady, a twenty-nine year old construction worker. After coming home from a hard day's work, he walks in the door of his trailer park home to find his wife in bed with another man. "WHAT THE FUCK?!?!" "Grady!!"

Dr. Dre

Alright calm down, relax, start breathin..

Eminem

Fuck that shit, you just caught this bitch cheatin
While you at work she's with some dude tryin to get off?!
FUCK slittin her throat, CUT THIS BITCH'S HEAD OFF!!!

Dr. Dre

Wait! What if there's an explanation for this shit?
(What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick?!)
Alright Shady, maybe he's right Grady
But think about the baby before you get all crazy

Eminem

Okay! Thought about it, still wanna stab her?
Grab her by the throat, get your daughter and kidnap her?
That's what I did, be smart, don't be a retard
You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped DEE BARNES??!

Dr. Dre

What'chu say? (What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember?)
I'ma kill you motherfucker!

Eminem

Uhhh-aahh! Temper temper!
Mr. Dre? Mr. N.W.A.?
Mr. AK comin' straight outta Compton y'all better make way?
How in the fuck you gonna tell this man not to be violent?

Dr. Dre

Cause he don't need to go the same route that I went
Been there, done that.. aw fuck it...
What am I sayin? Shoot em both Grady, where's your gun at?

gun fires, is cocked, and re-fired

Still Don't Give a Fuck

A lot of people ask me,
am I afraid of death?
Hell yeah I'm afraid of death
I don't want to die yet
A lot of people think, that I worship the devil
That I do all types of. . .retarded shit
Look, I can't change the way I think
And I can't change the way I am
But if I offended you? Good!
Cause I still don't give a fuck !
I'm zonin' off of one joint, stoppin' a limo
Hopped in the window, shoppin' a demo at gunpoint,
A lyricist without a clue, what year is this?
Fuck a needle, here's a sword, bodypierce with this.
Livin amuk, never givin' a fuck
Gimme the keys I'm drunk, and I've never driven a truck
But I smoke dope in a cab.
I'll stab you with the sharpest knife I can grab
Come back the next week and re-open your scab
A killer instinct runs in the blood
Emptyin' full clips and buryin' guns in the mud
I've calmed down now, I was heavy once into drugs
I could walk around straight for two months with a buzz
My brain's gone, my soul's worn and my spirit is torn
The rest of my body's still bein' operated on
I'm ducked the fuck down while I'm writin' this rhyme
'Cause I'm probably gonna get struck with lightnin' this time

~Chorus~

For all the weed that I've smoked - yo this blunts for you
To all the people I've offended - yeah fuck you too!
To all the friends I used to have - yo I miss my past.
But the rest of you assholes can kiss my ass!
For all the drugs that I've done - yo I'm still gon' do
To all the people I've offended - yeah fuck you too!
For everytime I reminisce - yo I miss my past.
But I still don't give a fuck, y'all can kiss my ass!

I walked into a gunfight with a knife to kill you
And cut you so fast, when your blood spilled it was still blue
I'll hang you till you dangle, and chain you with both ankles
And pull you apart from both angles
I wanna crush your skull 'till your brains leaks out of your veins
And bust open like broken water mains
So tell Saddam not to bother with makin' another bomb
'Cause I'm crushin' the whole world in my palm
Got your girl on my arm, and I'm armed with a firearm
So big my entire arm is a giant firebomb
Buy your mom a shirt with a Slim Shady iron-on
And the pants to match. (Here momma try 'em on)>
I get a master ticked with a mouth full of adjectives
a brain full of adverbs, and a box full of laxatives
(Shittin on rappers) 'Causin hospital accidents
God help me before I commit some irresponsible acts again

~Chorus~

I wanted an album so rugged nobody could touch it
Spend a million a track, and went over my budget. (Oh shit!)
Now how in the fuck am I supposed to get out of debt?
I can't rap anymore, I just murdered the alphabet
Drug sickness got me doin' some bugged twitches
I'm withdrawn from crack so bad my blood itches
I don't rap to get the women, fuck bitches.
Give me a fat slut that cooks and does dishes
Never ran with a click I'm a posse
Kamikaze. Strappin' a motherfuckin' bomb across me
From the second I was born, my momma lost me
I'm a cross between Manson, Esham and Ozzy
I don't know why the fuck I'm here in the first place
My worst day on this earth was my first birthday
Retarded? What did that nurse say? Brain damage?
Fuck, I was born during the earthquake

~Chorus~