I've decided to pass on a little something...

I'm sure we've all come across the situation where you log on to find that there's just ONE space left in 'Flying Toaster'. This very thing happened to me last night. Like myself, I'm pretty sure that more than one of you would have missed a few opportunities to get into a room from either:

a)  Being busy responding to an ICQ message. (More often than not it is from someone asking if you are to play in the said room, or them telling you a space is soon to come about as so-and-so is leaving!)

b)  Typing an ICQ message. (More often than not bemoaning that there is NEVER going to be a space in the said room) "D'oh!"

c)   Starting up Solitaire or Minesweeper.
 
d)   Looking at other rooms' high scores (or maybe only I do this?!)
 
e)   Temporarily nodding off to sleep (although you will only know about this one if, upon awakening, you have key impressions on your forehead).
 
f)    Searching the www fruitlessly for something you have previously not been able to find.

g)   Playing with your cat, dog or goldfish. - I'd suggest that swallowing and then regurgitating your goldfish more than three times would be considered cruel. Swallowing and then regurgitating your cat or dog three times however would be considered a miracle. Take the show on the road and then retire to the Swiss Alps, where you can play Acrophobia until the end of your days. "Choke" comments, however, would be taken literally, as one would come to expect a few hairballs over the years of performing to the masses.
 
h)   Picking your nose.

i)    Scratching your nose.

j)    Blowing your nose.
 
k)   Plucking hairs from your nose!
 
So, maybe one or two of the above applied to you (I was going to do the whole alphabet, but thought better of it!!). But how does one make sure to get into a room the moment the "Continue..." button appears? Read on for the answer:
 
1)   Buy two woodpeckers - one male, one female.
 
2)   Take as hostage the female woodpecker.
 
3)   Send the male woodpecker a note, threatening his companion will be roasted and eaten if he does not follow through with your demands.
 
4)   Buy a piece of cork (a corkstop from a wine bottle will suffice).
 
5)   Attach cork to the end of the male woodpecker's beak.
 
6)   Position cursor to where the "Continue..." button will appear.
 
7)   Build a small campfire.
 
8)   Instruct the woodpecker to peck at the left mouse button for all he's worth (keep reinforcing the threat to his companion... light the fire!).
 
9)   If you feel the male woodpecker is flagging, or not taking you seriously, pluck a feather from the female and wave it infront of him. Also, lick your lips and rub your stomach occasionally.
 
10) If the male woodpecker has died from exhaustion, and you are still not in a room, untie the female and repeat exercise.

**DISCLAIMER**  "It's the voices, the voices!"

Mark (aka Sarnia)