This was a good log, and I had a lot of fun with it. Before Schaefer quit the military, she was a bit bitchy, but mainly quiet. But, uhh... afterwards, you can see the effects. :)
Street market
Sights and sounds of a classic street market overwhelm the senses in this bustling concourse. More than a corridor, its huge arched expanse is home to countless loud-voiced vendors and shopkeepers hawking their wares. Booths, tables, and portable videopanels offer everything from the latest shipment of pulpy Martian oranges, to exotic fashions, to fresh-cooked treats. Other residents stroll through the chaotic crowd, and the chatter and sales pitches blend together in a comforting blanket of random noise.
Obvious exits:
[ Pavilion | O'Sullivan's | Threads ]
Lieutenant Kain walks in.
Schaefer paces around. So she's a little shabby, and her hair is a complete mess. But there isn't very much she can do about it. Owl-like eyes scan the market for good deals- something to eat, maybe, or just anything that catches her eye would be nice. Of course, she's so intent on the exotic fruits at one stand, she doesn't catch the sight of Benny in the area.
Lieutenant Kain
Beneath orange-reddish hair that's been allowed to grow out a little from it's previous close cut, Benedict Kain lays claim to a pair of steelish grey eyes. These are framed by a face that is perhaps thinner than average and usually combine with his smirk, the most common expression his mouth finds itself in, to give him a somewhat constant sarcastic look. Well, to those he doesn't know well, anyways. His build is a faint echo of his face, being a tad thinner than might be common for a man just short of the average height mark.
Surprise of surprises, Benny's duty uniform is in tip-top condition. Mostly somber colours, the black pants and the charcoal grey jacket, are relieved only by the violet turtleneck showing above the jacket's collar and the violet stripe running down the outside of each pant leg. The right cuff of the jacket bears markings indicating three years of service. Each shoulder is marked with the single gold strip indicating this man's rank as Lieutenant. And finally, on the left chest, above the V for Victory Stellar Defense Force insignia is a single medal: The Meritorious Service Bar.
He is awake, but has been staring off into space for 2 minutes.
Kain is 23 years, and 29 days old.
Carrying:
Node (#292)
And what /is/ Benny doing out this way, anyways? Well, does one always need a reason? Maybe he's got some spare MUs to spend.. maybe he's someone to spend the MUs on. Whatever the case, he slowly heads through the food section, eyes going almost glossy as he gazes at a few different pastries.
It seems that the pastries look good to Petra, too, because her eyes hook onto the sweets and seem to reel her up to the stand. In fact, right next to Benny. But she's looking at the pastries. Finally after a few seconds of gawking, Petra clears her voice quietly, and speaks up to the vendor. "Hi there, I'd like one of those bear claws." But they look so good... "Oh, uhm, make that two."
"Yeah.. I'll take a couple of those too, eh?" Once he makes the order, Ben turns his head to get a quick look of the person that inadvertantly helped him make up his mind. He almost dismisses her out of hand.. but beneath the dishevled look, she seems familiar. Ping. "Athena?"
Schaefer's head slowly turns away from her sugar-laden quarry and towards the one who has uttered her other name. "Benny?" Whoa. "Long time no see... I ahh... I'm surprised to see you here." To say the least. Her face is smitten with a rather blank look, as if she's too surprised to show it. "But I don't go by that anymore. Athena, I mean."
"Long time no see no kidding... What the heck happened t'you?" Benny, quite obviously, has heard nothing about her decision. "What'd'you mean you don't go by that name anymore? It's as much yours as your others..."
Schaefer shakes her head. "Not anymore." The man behind the counter offers the bear claws to both pilot and former pilot, each order in a hand. "You know when the SDF took the station back and we were all made citizens for a while? Well, I didn't check to see if they called me. I got out." A faint smile of triumph is set on her face, and she hands the vendor a few MUs for the treats- hers and Benny's. "It's on me." The triumphant smirk becomes a warm smile.
One might wonder how a guy who seems to always be so slow on the draw managed to make it as a pilot. Maybe. A slightly pained look is what he gives her in return of that triumphant grin.. but in seconds it's changing into a mathing smile. "Alright.. but only if y'join me in the Commisary for a bite to eat... I wanna hear about it."
Schaefer thinks for a moment. Well. She might just have to do that. "Sure. If you don't mind my ramblings." And that's what they are, too. Just rehearsed thoughts that run though her mind every moment of the day. She goes ahead and makes starts off for their destination, comfortable in walking next to her former co-worker.
Well, t'least she doesn't hate him. "So.. eh.. whatever happened to that guy you were chasing after, anyways? The guy with 'the great butt'?" Hey, it may have been a while, but Ben remembers.
As Schaefer walks, she sighs and bites her lip. This is going to be a long conversation. "I don't know. I just sort of... lost him. It happens that way when your life changes, and you don't know much about the guy in the first place." You know. Puppy love. "I think I was finally getting ready to sit down and have a great relationship, and when I didn't go back to the military, my other life was gone, so..." she lets the sentance hang in the air, and then takes a bite of her bear claw. Good stuff, even though it doesn't show on her face.
Lieutenant Kain leaves for Commerce Pavilion.
Commissary (#293J)
Clattering of silverware and dishes, voices of myriad diners... Near the entrance, a large food court holds row upon row of edibles; beyond it lies a sea of tables. Alpha Quad's commissary is certainly a busy one; the cooks, of course, insists that the quality of the food is to thank. those who frequent it, though, often point to such factors as accessibility and dirt-cheap prices before culinary considerations.
Kain is here.
Obvious exits:
[ Rec Lounge ]
Schaefer walks in.
Kain's head bobs slowly. "Too bad. Y'seemed pretty happy when you were talkin' bout him. So where you been keepin' yourself, then?"
"Around," she says quietly. "I had to get out of my quarters, so I stacked all of my stuff in storage and found myself a small place. It's not that bad, actually. It's well, as I said, small, but it'll do for now." Petra rips off another piece of pastry, chews, and swallows before muttering, "The hard part is getting a job."
Kain has his pastires packed away in their.. er.. packaging. Saving them for later. He leads the way towards the trays and the food counters, snatching himself one of the former. "Why'd that be? I figure a skilled pilot like yerself'd have the credentials for something.. fly for one of the merchantile corps, or something. I still don't know what made you decide not to stick around with the SDF.."
A cool retort is all Benny is going to get. "I left because of what they've done, and because of what I've done. I left because I couldn't stand /them/. That's the reason I joined the HMC, you know." Schae goes ahead and gets a tray as soon as they're within reach, her eyes focusing on the tray and silverware- not anyone else. The intensity blazing through her long, black lashes might scare them away.
Kain doesn't miss the venom in that retort.. and being Benny, he blinks. "What... Hey, I detest the SDF too... hell, for a while I couldn't even be in the same room as one of those bastards.. but 'Thena, lookit you. What've you got now? At least with the SDF you'd a had your bird.."
Good point. But- "The bird doesn't matter to me because of what it /stands/ for. I can't sit be near it if it sings the wrong song." And the song it sings now is horribly out of tune. A second later, Petra raises her voice a bit after she thinks, "And /don't/ call me that. I'm /not/ Athena. That's the name /they/ gave me. It's not my real name. Just call me Petra."
Kain sighs. "So what if they gave it to you. You're the one you turned the name into a person." But what's the use of arguing about something so trivial, eh? "Y'know.. I think you're lookin' at the situation all wrong." *splock* A spoonful of some goop likely loaded with nutrients goes into a small bowl.. and onto his tray.
"But I'm not even that person anymore. I'm... different." Somehow. Petra gets the same, and shuffles down the line. "And how am I looking at this all wrong? That the SDF has offended everything I have ever stood for? That they treated me like crap? You know what the worst thing was? It was that I /took/ it. I should have gotten out of there after the first few years. Never should have stayed. I should be a cargo pilot somewhere far, far away."
What's next in the line? Mmmm.. a carbohydrate supliment drink. "Yeah. Right. I can't see you doin' that. C'mon... What about Hope Station? You'd give up on defending her just because she's changed owners again?" Well. There you have Ben's reasoning for staying.
Ahh, Benny. Ever so gallant in fighting for the Station. "I never fought for the station. I fought for the station because it would pay me and it wouldn't harrass me. And maybe even because I did love flying." Schaefer takes a slice of some kind of multi-grain, multi-vitamin bread and keeps going. For her, she just has plain old water to drink. "I never fought for anyone except my family. And most of them are probably dead, so there's nothing left for me to defend."
"Well. Geez. Just so I get the record straight... why d'you hate the SDF so much? I mean.. what's left? The Pervs? D'you like them better?" Sure, Ben seems a little disappointed.. but more than anything, he just wants to know.
Schaefer sighs a little. Maybe she could tell him. Why not? It's not as if he's the station's most prolific gossip. "When I first started out, a few of my commanding officers were... corrupt." She pauses to think about her wording on this next part. "I was young then, even though it lasted a while, it started when I was young. I made this mistake of being in relationships with a few of them- they basically said, 'Fuck me if you want to go anywhere with your life,'" Schae spits out the words with more than a touch of anger, "And I believed them. So. When I said No More, I stopped moving up. And things started to go wrong. I was blamed for the death of a squad member. Not by the government or the military, but everyone thought I killed him." Of course she doesn't say who. "Now, how's that for a reason?"
Well... /Ouch/. "Goddamn.. no wonder." Ben hasn't been in that situation... so what can he say? "That's... a damn good reason, 'Then.. Petra. But... " Sigh. But what? "But what've you got now? C'mon.. most of the SDF died out there.. we're all that's left. Who says that the powers that be in the SDF are as corrupt as those you dealt with? I mean.. if ever there were a time, it's now, to be part of the rebuilding. To make it the way it should be."
"They won't take me now. Now that I've proven that I hate their little opperation, and everything that it's stood for." Petra's all but snarling, but not at Benny. He's not /really/ one of them, even if he does wear the uniform. But unlike him, she can't take the /appearance/ of being so... unclean. "No, they know I'd make trouble for them if I could. And I would." She snorts, "I'd rather build up another PRS from scratch than be in the SDF." She takes a chunk out of her slice of bread, having already paid, and munches quietly, her eyes focused on nothing in general except the comings and goings of people.
Kain winces as he makes one last purchase.. the soup du jour. Woo. "C'mon, Petra.. y'don't mean that. No matter how corrupt the SDF might be.. The Pervs are a bunch of cold hearted bastards."
Schaefer snorts at this, too, but stops to look Benny straight in the eye. "I can only tell you that the SDF hurt me. Very much. And I will do /anything/ to fight against them." That could get her sent to jail. Pent up for the rest of her life. "I've been hurting a very long time, and when the HMC died, so did my faith. I have /nothing/ left except this hate, Benny. Nothing."
Kain closes his eyes.. "Don't say that, Petra. Hate's a bad way to live. There's always something else. Always. I found it.. most everyone else's found it.. all you need to do is find it. Doesn't have to be with the SDF."
Schaefer rolls her eyes. "There may be." He's pretty good at this steering-evil-personalities-to-good Thing. Has he done this before? "But I haven't found it yet. This is who I am. I can't deny it now." Maybe later, though.
Never done it before, nope. Well, except for when he talked himself into sticking with the SDF. Ben's frown speaks volumes of disapproval. "You aren't even trying to. Petra, look at you. Just look at you. You've changed... and I really wish I could say it was for the better, but I'm afraid that it isn't.."
Owl-gray eyes glance away from Benny's, and towards her tray. Schaefer's jaw clenches just a bit, and she says, "I can't stop the train once it's on the wrong track. Even if I don't know I'm heading straight for a cliff." She reaches up to passively scratch an itch, and mutters, "Benny, you're right. But, I can't do anything about what I feel. This is Petra, Benny. Not Athena. She doesn't exist anymore."
Martinez shrugs, having been a few Marines down from the pair, "You're wrong, Schaefer.." she opinionates, pulling a dish of strawberry cheesecake out of a box and setting it upon her tray of food: Cheeseburger and fries.
Kain blinks. "Shorty?" He whirls his head around... sure enough.. there's the Commander. What'd she hear? Not much, he hopes... as good a friend she is, it'd probably be better for everyone that his own opinions of the SDF aren't known. '
Schaefer would laugh at Shorty's comment if she weren't feeling so sane right now. "Athena died when the HMC died. She might as well have been on the casualty list, because sure as hell, I am /not/ Athena. Athena would at least tolerate all the military pomp and crap. She would feel honored if she was praised by her commanders, or, heaven forbid, given a medal." Petra lifts an eyebrow, "So what do you know of Athena, anyway?" It's almost a sneer... Commander Jykyll Athena and Ms. Petra Hyde.
Martinez rolls her eyes, a curt giggle passing between slightly parted lips through, "The HMC was a grand operation which I adored and will forever defend in my heart. But the SDF is the force that enlisted me, the force that trained me, and the force of this station. I am a defender of this station and shall forever be with my heart, mind, soul, and loyalty. I protect those who need protecting and serve those who believe in me." She pauses, reaching for some chocolate pudding before pointedly noting, "You took an oath do defend this station and honor the badge you bore. The badge may have melted into history but this station is still survived. Perhaps you should face the lesser of two evils, Schafer."
Schaefer whispers, "That was before the badge screwed me over. Sure, I learned everything I know about life and flying when I was in the SDF. But it also taught me that once I got out, there was a better way to live. And because there's no better way now, I thought it was time that I went ahead and found another lifestyle. One that wouldn't make me plan the deaths of my commanders, for instance." Oh, the inner bitch is really coming out now. "I can barely stay on this station, let alone anywhere near pilots or SDF personel. You know what it's like to live in hell, don't you, Martinez?" Schaefer sets her tray down on a nearby table, but remains standing.
Martinez follows, setting her tray down across from the crazy woman. Nodding, the smirk on Shorty's face agrees with that of her nod, "Yes. I do know what it's like to live in hell. And I'll tell you this much. It is because of us-- the people who wear the uniforms and risk their lives day-by-day that you and every other civillian, military personnel, and any other form of life are living or continue to live. We are the people who stand on the brink of danger and tell death to kiss our ass. Y'know, you can sit there and say that you've chosen a better life when all you've done is trap yourself in an illusion because no matter how hard you try to ignore or deny it all, you'll be right where you were before. Except, you'll be worrying about those people in the 'pits and not being able to do anything about it. So, I guess that it is I who should welcome you to hell."
"So what are you gonna do then, Petra?" After all.. if she was only flying for the pay... well.. are those the kind of people that you really want flying with you? "Look.. I'm not trying to convince you to rejoin.. I know that you probably couldn't, like you said. But.. That hate'll consume you... " How exactly does Ben know this? Or does he? Maybe he's pretending.. maybe he's full of bull.
Schaefer does laugh now, throwing back her head and cackling for all she's worth. She directs her comments to Shorty, just to make sure she gets the picture. "You don't... understand... do you?" She starts a fit of insane giggling, "I've been gone from the SDF for so long, I can't go back. I'm not a pilot anymore, Shorty. Like Benny said, There's no way they'd even take me back now." Even if she did want to go back. "As for you protecting my ass, I thank you both, but you see," she abruptly stops, her face stone cold. "I don't want to protect anyone's ass anymore but my own. I'm done with that. You will never see me in a uniform again for as long as I live. I'll just dwell on living day to day. And most of all, you will /never/ see me kissing SDF ass again in my life."
Martinez shakes her head at Schaefer and can tell who /obviously/ doesn't get it. "Look, you can be out on your own like the badass you apparently think you are all fine and dandy. You won's see me outside your door, waiting to be let in, with enlistment papers in my hand. But, I will tell you this much about your military service. You /WERE/ one damn fine pilot and a good humanbeing. Cheerful. Now look at you? You've become a hasbeen-- some shell of a person. You've lost everything that made you /you/. You've lost the passion in your heart, the burning in your soul, and your sense of purpose. You went from being /somebody/ to just being some ordinary Jane with a huge chip on her shoulder. Congratulations."
Aiee.. conflict, conflict. The alarm bells ring loudly in Ben's head as he sits himself down at the table. Spoon in hand, he starts to sample the goop.. and finds it not all that bad! "There're those of us who'll miss you, Athena.." he says, deliberately using her callsign. "There're those've us who already do."
Well hot diggity damn. Kain's trying to reach Athena. The phone's ringing, but nobody's home, aparently. Schaefer positivly radiates hatred, and Martinez's words aren't making her feel any better- but maybe to get better you have to get worse, first. Schaefer's words are cool, despite her flushed cheeks, "Just wait a few years... a few years and we'll see what happens. But Athena's gone. Don't try to find her because she isn't there anymore. Petra Schaefer was born a while ago, and I have to find out who I am without damned SDF and their damned 'craft." A twange of hurt, there, at the mention of her ship. But she has nothing else to say.
Martinez shrugs, again, sitting herself down before her tray. Plucking the pickles from her cheeseburger she turns a nonchalant gaze to Schaefer and retorts with, "Ten years from now? I'll tell you where you'll be. You'll be in one of three places, dead-- suicide, stuck in some dead-end job, or married with two children and a third on the way. And to say that you're not dead would be both a lie and truth. The truth is that you breathe the same air that fills my lungs but you don't have the soul of anyone your age. You have no soul, no being, no motivation. You'd just settle with living day-to-day until something jumps in your way and says 'stop.' You've given up and want everyone to feel sorry for you, deep down, because you know that you're already dead. You died the moment you put Athena to rest. For that, I'll give you what you want-- pity. Because it's a damned pity to see you now and remember what was."
Kain winces again.. Hmm.. maybe those pickles'll go well with the goop. Without really asking for them, Ben plucks a couple of those discarded pickles and dips them in his bowl. "Go easy on 'er, Angie. The SDF screwed her over... she's got a reason to be bitter."
"Don't pity me. Don't you /ever/ pity me. I don't need that." Deep inside, Petra know she's right, but will she accept it? No. "And what will you be doing, Commander? Either stuck at a desk job, or dead. Like me- only I broke away from what was hurting me for a little while, at least. Just a little while..." Whatever pride she has now is gone, whatever dignity she had is gone. She straightens up, "I guess I should go, considering no matter what I say you're going to shoot me down like you shoot down anyone in those little high-tech banshees. Too bad my reliable old bird doesn't have the shields." She turns to go, forgetting about the meal she came here to eat. "I'll see you around. Maybe."
Martinez's hand move to wave g'bye to the departing Schaefer, standing to her feet even. "You're wrong, I hope you know. Ten years from now, I'll either be dead or in the 'pit of a fighter. Unlike you, I /know/ where I belong. I belong where you left Athena, with the stars. For all that it's worth, I'm sorry that you got screwed over and all but don't agree with your attitude." she informs the other woman as she stands and prepares to leave. Once she's a small distance away from the table, Shorty calls out, "'Sides, the planes aren't the ones who are or aren't reliable-- it's the pilot."
"Ach.. just leave it be, Angie.. She's gotta discover this for herself." Ben watches the retreating back of Schaefer for a second, not sure of what to say.. then he settles on, "I /will/ see y'around, Petra. Hopefully you find what you're looking for..and hopefully you're lookin' for it."
Schaefer gives Benny a nod, and tries in vain to keep her head high as she strides out to whatever place she calls home.
[end my log]