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If the government is going to insist that appropriate health warning
labels are placed on all beer, wine and liquor containers, than
let's at least have a little truthfulness about the matter!
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| WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a garbage truck at 100 yards. | WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer, and smarter than some really, really huge biker guy named "Big Al". |
| WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally "disappear". | WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you REALLY THINK while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas party. |
| WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4:00 in the morning. | WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering about that really, really huge biker guy, when you're NOT! |
| WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your head in. | WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember). |
| WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to
"Thay shings like thish". |
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead. |
| WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. | WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy. |
| WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the heck ever happened to your pants (panties) anyway. | WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. |
| WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot. | WARNING: (Do you have a good one I can add? email me.) |
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Last Updated on 12 Feb 1999 By J. Wayne Rhine |
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