This could happen to anyone. I had been attending a home bible study for about five years. I attended faithfully, knowing that God was going to do something in this small group. When I say faithfully, in a stretch of five years I might have missed maybe three studies and never missed anything else the group or guy leading the group was doing. I went week after week knowing that knowledge, wisdom, understanding, and even anointing would come out of it. We waited for gifts of the spirit from God. We waited for marching orders. We all knew God would give us something to do that we might serve him.  We learnt and grew in our knowledge of the Lord and his ways. After five years I would say I was still a beginner, a babe in Christ with little more than desire. I always believed that what we read in the bible are more than stories. They are the truth of God a way of life. Every detail true.

   After these five years had passed, I was confident in my call and position with Christ even though I didn’t know what either were. Well one day we went to another couples house. They also attended the same study my wife and I did. It was simple we were going to have a regular cook out like people do in the spring and summer. It was going to be fairly normal but on the way over a muffler problem I was having with my car got worse. It became obvious that I would not be able to drive it without getting it repaired. As luck would have it, the guy's house I was going to was pretty good with cars. My buddy and I decided to fix my car while the girls made the food.  We thought the car would be an easy fix but you know how that goes. Besides that it was late Saturday night and we weren’t exactly working hard.

   Now it’s time for the food and little progress had been made on the car but no big deal we just went to eat and would continue with the car later.  We sat down and had a pleasant meal.

   Now I have to fill you in on a little back ground information. I had received the holy spirit a few years before so I was spirit filled at the time as all four of us were. My buddies wife had been raised in a very irresponsible manner.  Her family had been nearly nomads. A broken home men in and out, drugs, abuse you know how it goes you had to have heard it a hundred times at least. The one thing that made this different was that her mother had spent some time I mean years with a cult (Devil worshipers).  Amongst us friends it was common knowledge that her mom was possessed.  None of us knew a lot about it or it’s severity. We only knew what we had read in the bible.  Not only that we certainly didn’t know the true condition of this woman’s mother in her late 40s at this time. What we did know was that someone had been casting the demon out of her the weekend before. He had said it wasn’t done there were devils still in there.

So guess who shows up at our little cook out. Yep mom.  As young disciples we all talked and decided, shoot we know Jesus he said we can cast that demon out. We all wanted to see her delivered anyway. There’s four of us right we can do this?  The ladies start a casual conversation in the living room just to get things started.  When they felt she was comfortable with us all being there they came and got my buddy and I.

  My buddies wife led the pack and began to speak to her mother.  She started talking about our going to this bible study and how much we had learnt. She then asked her if we could pray over her. Now check this out. She just up and said ok. So shoot this is gonna be easy, we just started to pray. My wife and her friend are directly in front of her and my buddy and I are behind our wives. We weren’t chicken or anything but with them starting out and the room layout coupled with where her mom had seated herself it just happened that way.  We pray for a few and then here it comes devil I rebuke you in the name of Jesus come out you foul spirit. We all went at it pretty good and got louder as we went. Within just a few minuets much to our surprise she began to smile. Victory was ours, so we thought. Just then her voice changed dramatically and the smile got evil man I mean scary evil. She let out the deepest voice I had ever heard. As if that wasn’t bad enough, what she said, well what was in her, had been even worse. This deep growling voice said no you go away I want to talk to Bill. Just Bill. Oh yeah guess what my name is? Ok you give? My name is Bill. What on earth had just happened I thought!  It freaked me out a bit to say the least. All three of my helpers turned and looked at me. So not really having much of a choice I moved up front. Of course by now the path was pretty clear.  We went about praying just as we had been and this thing calmed down and quit groaning I want to talk to bill! I of course seized the moment to proclaim my need for a drink of water. I headed for the kitchen leaving those guys standing there so I could shake in peace. I did get a drink of water. As I did the Lord spoke to me and said “there is a devil lingering” Remember I was young in Christ. I told the Lord yeah I figured they didn’t flee when the other guy tried either, so I kind of expected that. All full of faith right.  Well as you might imagine the fact that I didn’t ask for help or an explanation or anything our wise and gracious Lord did exactly what you would expect. He kept silent.  Now that we had the lady calm we felt good and she said she needed to go and none of us were about to stop her. She left.

   Mean while still in a daze and my car is in pieces. Its late Saturday night now and the auto parts stores are closed. That only leaves me a few hours to get the car fixed Sunday so I can make it to work on Monday. My buddy and I talk and I said I hadn’t missed church in five years I can miss this one. I then asked if he would help me fix my car Sunday morning. He agreed.

   The next day my wife and my friend’s wife went to church and we stayed to finish my car. We had the most horrible time trying to get that car fixed. Meanwhile Church started at 1:00 PM and it was approaching 7:00 PM and they were just getting back from church. Obviously we wanted to know where they had been. They replied church, so we replied the whole time! We could see they were pumped totally excited. We began to enquire as to what had happened. They were so over joyed when they expressed that that afternoon God had chosen to confirm them in his kingdom and pass out some gifts for the first time in that group I might add. I had been waiting for five years for something like that to happen. I miss one stinking Sunday in five years and look what I get. Nothing but grease under my finger nails. I began to feel a rage I had never felt before build inside of me. I was able to fight it off or fake it while we were there. They continued how powerful the service was how they had both received the gift of tongues. I just kept getting more rage build up.  Finally my wife and I went home and got ready for work the next day. I just couldn’t shake how badly God had screwed me over. Oh yeah don’t forget he said there was a devil lingering.

Now my wife was always excited about the Lord but even more so now. I on the other hand was more confused and angry than ever. I had always been the rock people could count on. I was often asked for spiritual and everyday advise. People knew they could trust me and the God in me. Now I didn’t know me. Nearly a week had gone by and I just got more miserable by the day. My wife would work in the kitchen doing dishes making dinner and sing praise songs the whole time. I wanted to hurt her bad. It was a real battle within. Every time she would say the name of Jesus I literally wanted to strangle her. I was truly tormented. The week before I loved the Lord and no one could come between me and my Lord. Now I wanted to kill when I heard his name. I couldn’t even really pray. It was truly the lowest state I had ever been in.

   That Saturday night my wife had a woman’s prayer meeting to go to. I was left alone in the apartment. I sat in my recliner questioning what had happened to me. It wasn’t a good prayer but I did begin to talk to the Lord as I had no answers. I guess it was a half hour to and hour or so but eventually not hearing anything from Jesus and didn’t really expect to after cursing his name for a week. I began to weep. I then began to really weep and sob fervently as I was so distraught. As I cried and cried I began to say help me Jesus help me Jesus it was all I could say.  I cried and cried out myself to the point I was half asleep.  Around ten that night my wife came in from prayer meeting. She knew I had had a bad week to say the least she now knew I had had one of the worst nights of my life.  She came in put her purse down I stood up and she immediately grabbed my face and began to pray. She then told me to go in the bedroom to get on my knees and begin to pray. If I did I would be praying in tongues in a short time.  I was so exhausted and hurt I didn’t even argue. I went and fell on my knees and began to pray. If that wasn’t miracle enough at this point I indeed began to pray in tongues for the first time in my life. I was tired and it had been a long week so I didn’t really pray very long I don’t think. Soon my wife came in to go to bed. We both laid there on our backs looking up. She suddenly said we should pray before we go to sleep. At this point I could actually well sorta pray again. We must have prayed for a good 45 minuets. Then all the sudden this figure was at the end of our bed with such brilliant light and such awesome power I immediately began to weep. I knew it was the Holy Spirit. Now it is virtually indescribable and some of the few I have told this story to have tried to convince me that it was an angel. Let me tell you something. When the Holy Spirit physically shows up at your house he doesn’t need an introduction or explanation. You know exactly who it is. As I said I immediately began weeping I was struck with such fear. I had cursed Jesus I had wanted to kill anyone that spoke his name for a week. I had been angry with everyone. I had been the opposite of a Christian. I knew I was in big big trouble. I was so scared the first thing that came out of my mouth was “what are you doing here?” With such gentle power he said “this is your confirmation.” I immediately felt such a peace come over me. I really felt so many things I can’t even really express it. I would think you could imagine the gamet of emotion I must have felt. The one thing I knew without a word spoken was that a week ago. As I stood in that kitchen in foolishness, stupidity, and pride one of the very demons we had attempted to cast out had possessed me. I also knew the second the Holy Spirit showed up it fled like a scared rabbit on opening day of hunting season. 

As I realized I was just me again and I wasn’t in trouble after all, I saw me praying. I had asked to be shown what Jesus must have felt on the cross many times. I saw these prayers. The Holy Sprit spoke to me and said I can not allow you to feel what Jesus felt physically but I will allow you to feel the emotion he felt. Suddenly I was engulfed in the most overwhelming state of love and compassion. It was true love for man kind it was compassion for the lost and the saved. There was no remorse no anger no bitterness absolutely nothing but the purest love and compassion. It was so incredible I could hardly bare it. To this day I believe it was tempered so I could bare it. I obviously began to weep again but differently. I now wept out of love and gratitude. The Holy Spirit had been sent to save me and restore me. Even at this as he moved what must have been his arm I said “what are you doing now?” he replied “I am anointing your children” There is nothing that will bring a man to the depths of gratitude as that phrase did. When he had finished this he was gone as quickly as he had shown up. I still remember the brilliance and awesome power of the Holy Spirit. More than that no one needs to tell me what kind of love God has for us, nor what kind of savior we have in Jesus. There are moments that transform us from those that believe to those that know.

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