GARAK

Bashir: They broke seven of your transverse ribs and fractured your clavicle!
Garak: Ah, but I got off several cutting remarks which no doubt did serious damage to their egos.

~Way of the Warrior

Garak: I'd like to get my hands on that fellow Earl Gray and tell him a thing or two about tea leaves.

~In Purgatory's Shadow

Bashir: So of the stories you told me, which ones were true?
Garak: My dear doctor, all of them were true.
Bashir: What about the lies?
Garak: Especially the lies.

~Civil Defense

(Bashir tells the story of the boy who cried "Wolf")
Bashir: If you lie all the time, no one is going to believe you, even when you're telling the truth.
Garak: Are you sure that's the point, Doctor?
Bashir: Of course. What else would it be?
Garak: That you should never tell the same lie twice.

~Improbable Cause

Garak: The truth is usually just an excuse for a lack of imagination.

~Improbable Cause

Garak: It's a full life, if a trifle banal.

~In Purgatory's Shadow

Worf, referring to Garak: At the first sign of betrayal I will kill him, but I promise to return the body intact.
Sisko: I assume that's a joke.
Worf: We will see.

~In Purgatory's Shadow

Garak to a Jem'Hadar: Ah, are we glad to see you! Could you point us in the direction of the wormhole?

~In Purgatory's Shadow

Odo: You'd shoot a man in the back?
Garak: It's the safest way, isn't it?

~Call to Arms

Garak: I am no more a spy than you are...
Bashir: ...a doctor.

~Cardassians

Garak: I believe in coincidence. Coincidences happen every day. But I don't trust coincidences.

~Cardassians

Garak: Major, I don't think I've ever seen you looking so ravishing.

~Second Skin

Garak, on a clearance code he wasn't supposed to know: Oh, it's just something I overheard while hemming someone's trousers.

~Second Skin

Garak's impression of Bashir's Bond lifestyle: I think I joined the wrong intelligence service.

~Our Man Bashir

Garak: I must say, Major Kira's certainly throwing herself into the role.

~Our Man Bashir

Bashir to Dr Honey ("Dax"): What a waste... no one can see what a beautiful woman you are.
Garak: Is that your plan?

~Our Man Bashir

Garak, as Dr Honey kisses Bashir: I'd give you both some privacy if I could.

~Our Man Bashir

Garak: Kiss the girl, get the key! They never taught me that in the Obsidian Order!

~Our Man Bashir

Garak: Doctor, did anyone ever tell you that you are an infuriating pest?
Bashir: Chief O'Brien, all the time, and I don't pay any attention to him, either.

~The Wire

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