Steel Magnolias

Steel Magnolias

Clairee: I've just been to the dedication of the new children's park.
Truvy: Yeah, how did that go?
Clairee: Janice Van Meter got hit with a baseball. It was fabulous.
Truvy: Was she hurt?
Clairee: I doubt it. She got hit in the head.

Truvy: In a good shoe, I wear a size six, but a seven feels so good, I buy a size eight.

Truvy: Time marches on and sooner or later you realize it is marchin' across your face.

Shelby: Pink is my signature color.

[Referring to her daughter's many pink wedding decorations.]
M'Lynn: That church looks like it's been hosed down with Pepto-Bismol.

Ouiser: I am just about at the end of my rope with you.
Drum: Well, then why don't you tie a noose and slip it 'round your head?

Truvy: I kind of like hiring somebody with a past.
Clairee: She can't be more than eighteen. She hasn't had time to have a past.
Truvy: Oh get with it, Clairee. This is the eighties. If you can achieve puberty, you can achieve a past.

Ouiser: I don't see plays, 'cause I can nap at home for free. And I dont see movies 'cause they're trash, and they ain't got nothin' but naked people in 'em! And I don't read books, 'cause if they're any good they're gonna make 'em into a miniseries.

Ouiser: This is it, I've found it, I'm in hell.

Drum: Ouiser, can we call a truce long enough for me to get a piece of cake?
[Ouiser slices him the tail piece of an armadillo cake.]
Drum: Thanks Ouiser, nothing like a good piece of ass!

Annelle: I think we should pray.
Sammy: I'd rather eat dirt!!

[About the new mayor's wife dancing.]
Clairee Belcher: Looks like two pigs fightin' under a blanket.

Truvy: When it comes to pain and suffering, she's right up there with
Elizabeth Taylor.

Clairee Belcher: All gay men have track lightin'. And all gay men are named Bruce, Rick, or Steve.

Shelby: Well, we went skinny dipping and we did things that frightened the fish.

Annelle Dupuy Desoto: Miss Truvy, I promise that my personal tragedy will not interfere with my ability to do good hair.

Shelby: Truvy, you know what you need in here? You need a radio, takes the pressure off of everyone feeling they have to talk so much.
Truvy: I had one once, but I threw it up against the wall when I couldn't figure out where the batteries went. I know now I was suffering from pre-menstrual syndrome.

Shelby: I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.

Truvy: There's so much static electricity in this room, I pick up everything but boys and money.

Clairee Belcher: Well, you know what they say: if you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!

Truvy: I'm just screamin' at my husband; I can do that any time!

Clairee Belcher: They were both high. They'd been smokin' everything but their shoes.

Truvy: Oh, Sammy's so confused he don't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt.

Ouiser: The only reason people are nice to me is because I have more money than God.

Ouiser: I'm not as sweet as I used to be.

Truvy: I have a strict policy that nobody cries alone in my presence.

Clairee Belcher: I love ya more than my luggage.

Ouiser Boudreaux: You are a pig from hell.

Ouiser Boudreaux: You are too twisted for color TV!

Ouiser Boudreaux: I'm not crazy, I've just been a very bad mood for the last 40 years!

Clairee Belcher: That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.

Clairee Belcher: The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.

Ouiser: My God, you look different. Have you shrunk?

[Sammy is wearing an Easter bunny contume]
Annelle Dupuy Desoto: We'll talk about uncomfortable when you're nine months pregnant!

Louisa 'Ouiser' Boudreaux: Yes, Annelle, I pray! Well, I do! There, I said it, I hope you're satisfied.
Annelle Dupuy Desoto: I suspected this all along! vLouisa 'Ouiser' Boudreaux: Oh! Well don't you expect me to come to one of your churches or one of those tent-revivals with all those Bible-beaters doin' God-only-knows-what! They'd probably make me eat a live chicken!
Annelle Dupuy Desoto: Not on your first visit!
Clairee Belcher: Very good, Annelle! You've spoken like a true smart-ass!

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