Glenn Michaels: Oh, man, if I wasn't stoned there is no way you would have talked me into this!
Maurice "Snoopy" Miller: You know, a situation like this has a high potentiality for the common motherfucker to bitch out.
Maurice "Snoopy" Miller: Well, the man don't just have to die, Foley. I mean, he could accidentally hurt himself falling down on something real hard, you know? Like a shiv, or my dick?
Jack Foley: It's like seeing someone for the first time, and you look at each other for a few seconds, and there's this kind of recognition like you both know something. Next moment the person's gone, and it's too late to do anything about it.
[Opening a birthday gift from dad.]
Jack Foley: Is this your first time being robbed?
[With Karen's heel on his back.]
Jack Foley: Most bank robbers are fucking morons.
Jack Foley: Alright, now I can say that I fucked a U.S. marshal. Do you think I will?
Jack Foley: Where's your sunglasses? Did somebody finally step on them for you?
Jack Foley: Hey! Sign says "shut the fuck up," or can't
you fellas read?
Adele: Hey bank robber! Hey, want some advice? Next time keep the engine running.
Jack Foley: Give me a minute to talk to Buddy.
Maurice "Snoopy" Miller: I've, uh, vertically integrated myself. You know, diversified and shit, and now I'm into the occasional grand larceny, home invasion... shit like that.
[Snoopy's prison bodyguard, Himey, threatens Jack]
Jack Foley: What kind of name is Hejira?
Buddy Bragg: Here ma'am. Let me help you with these. Beautiful
young lady like you shouldn't be carrying groceries. Let a man do that
Jack Foley: What's in this can?
Glenn Michaels: Oh, I see, you guys are cynical.
Kenneth: Tuffi was a good bitch, and I gave her what every good bitch wants, a bone.
Jack Foley: You'd be surprised about what you can get, if you ask for it the right way.
Marshall Sisco: Yeah, so I read in the paper that this
guy escapes from jail, ends up at this guy's wife's house and she let's
him in. So he tells her his story and she feels, sorry for him, and they
Glenn Michaels: What are you going to do with a hatchet?
[Ray is wearing an "FBI" t-shirt]
Jack Foley: Shit, shit, shit, shit.
Karen Sisco: Oh, that's right, you have my wallet. Why
don't you come by the house, you can drop it off?
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