Shaun: I have to go to college.
Shaun: Because it's what you do after high school.
Lance: Do you want me to get naked and start the revolution?
Ashley: Shaun, do you remember when you told me to pray
every night that you'd get into Stanford?
Principal Harbert: People, June is just around the corner,
let's talk graduation speakers. Ideas?
Bud Brumder: A writer? What do you have to write about? You're not oppressed. You're not gay.
Shaun: Mom, you know that money can't buy happiness.
Lonny: Dude, face the fear.
Arlo: Dude, let's go get lit and jump off the roof of my house.
Ashley: If you actually believe that Stanford is the only place where you can be somebody... well then I just feel sorry for you.
Lance: It was, it was a total electrical fire, it as like
a the switches had sparks comin' out and the sockets an a... it was like
the fourth of July man.
Don.Durkett: SEAN! You're my same height, that is neat.
Shaun: Lance, I want you to stay in your room.
Shaun: Hey guys, what's up?
Mr. Burke: Shaun! I read your story. You used a lot of big words. Great! Good for you! It was a little long, so I didn't read the whole thing, but who cares 'cause I gave you an A!
Cindy: Is Bob Dead? Did something break?!
Mr. Burke: Hehe poop.
Lance: Dude, I never went to college and check me out. I'm kick ass!
Shaun: You think you're going to create a T-shirt company? You can't even dress yourself!
Bud Brumder: If you do this to me I will eat your face!
Krista: Bud is getting so fat. You should really talk to him, he's going to have a heart attack. Plus he's fat.
Lance: Yeah, she was all "I hate my job! I'm gonna burn this mother down!" and I said, "You better not.....you better not."
Mr. Burke: Now, when I say "Romeo and Juliet," who comes
Bud Brumder: [to ex-wife] Ugh, you look like a beast.
Lance: You banged mom?!
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