Frank: It's true what they say: Cops and women don't mix. It's like eating a spoonful of Drano, sure it'll clean you out, but it'll leave you hollow inside.
Jane Spencer: I've heard police work is dangerous.
Frank: It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.
Frank: Just think, next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested.
Frank: It's fourth and fifteen and you're looking at a full-court press.
Frank: When I see five weirdos stabbing a guy in broad daylight, I shoot the bastards. That's my policy.
Ed: A hunch won't stand up in court, Frank. Going into Ludwig's office without a warrant, you're taking a big chance.
Frank: Jane, since I've met you I've noticed things that I never knew were there before; birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights.
Frank: Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute before until he's behind bars. Now, let's grab a bite to eat.
Frank: Interesting... Almost as interesting as the photographs I saw today.
[Jane climbs a ladder.]
[Frank Drebin is emptying out his files after being kicked off the force]
[Frank Drebin is angrily breaking up with Jane Spencer]
Jane Spencer: I wanted you to know, now, I've loved you since the first day I met you, and I'll never stop. I'm a very lucky woman.
[Drebin searches a drawer]
[offering a cigar]
Jane Spencer: Would you like a nightcap?
Ed: Doctors say that Nordberg has a 50 - 50 chance of living, though there's only a 10 percent chance of that.
Ludwig: So they were able to get him to the hospital in time?
Frank: Yes, he's in the intensive care ward at Our Lady of the Worthless Miracle.
[While Jane is erotically sucking his finger]
Nurse #2: Mrs. Nordberg, I think we can save your husband's arm. Where would you like it sent?
Mrs. Nordberg: Oh, my poor Nordberg! He was such a good man, Frank. He never wanted to hurt anyone. Who would do such a thing?
Frank: A good cop - needlessly cut down by some cowardly hoodlums.
Frank: Protecting the Queen's safety is a task that is gladly accepted by Police Squad. No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, as Americans we must be gracious and considerate hosts.
Frank: I've finally found someone I can love - a good, clean love... without utensils.
[Frank recalls a prior love]
Jane Spencer: How could you do something so vicious
Frank: oh, say can you see, buy the dawn's early light, what so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming. who's bright strips and broad stars, in the parelious night, o'er the rampart's we watched, as the da da, da, da, da, da, and the rocket's red glare, lots of bombs in the air, gave proof to the night, that we still had a flag, oh say does that spangle banner wave, over all-l-l-l-l that's free, over the home, of the land, and the land of the free!
Jane Spencer: I was only doing what i was told to do.
[Frank Drebin walks through town]
~ Home ~ Movies ~ Songs ~ Anonymous ~ Women ~