The Muppet Christmas Carol

The Muppet Christmas Carol

Gonzo: I am here to tell the story.
Rizzo the Rat: And I am here for the food.

Rizzo the Rat: Light the lamp, not the rat, light the lamp.

Vegetables: If he became a flavor you can bet he would be sour. Yuck!
Muppet Man: Even the vegetables don't like him.

[Gonzo and Rizzo are flying over London.]
Gonzo: Hello, London!
Rizzo the Rat: Goodbye, lunch!

[An urchin steals a talking vegetable.]
Vegetable: Help! Help! I'm being stolen!

Ghost of Christmas Past: Let us see another Christmas at this place.
Ebenezer Scrooge: They were pretty much all the same. Nothing ever changed.
Ghost of Christmas Past: You changed.

Fozziwig: At this time in the proceedings, it is a tradition for me to make a little speech.
Robert Marley: And it is a tradition for us to take a little nap!

Fozziwig: Here is my Christmas speech. "Thank you all, and Merry Christmas."
Robert Marley: That was the speech?
Jacob Marley: It was dumb!
Robert Marley: It was obvious!
Jacob Marley: It was pointless!
Robert Marley: It was... short.
Jacob Marley, Robert Marley: I loved it!

Rizzo the Rat: Mother always taught me: "Never eat singing food."

Ebenezer Scrooge: You're a little absent-minded, spirit.
Ghost of Christmas Present: No, I am a LARGE absent-minded spirit!

Ebenezer Scrooge: What business has brought you here?
Ghost of Christmas Past: Your welfare.
Ebenezer Scrooge: Heh, a night's unbroken rest might aid my welfare.
Ghost of Christmas Past: Your salvation, then.

[Describing Fozziwig.]
Ebenezer Scrooge: What an employer he was. As hard and ruthless as a rose petal!

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