The Mirror Has Two Faces

The Mirror has Two Faces

Rose Morgan: When my date takes me home and I don't hear the philharmonic in my head, I dump him.

Rose Morgan: A wedding is the final scene of the fairy tale, they never tell you what happens after. They never tell you that Cinderella drove the Prince crazy with her obsessive need to clean the castle and that she missed her day job.

Claire: You are the mother of the bride, not the opening act.

Claire: Now you spend an extra hour in front of the mirror every morning and every night. And now you'll be the one to walk into a room and scan it for who looks better than you and who doesn't. And as the years go by, the numbers change. One day you'll walk into a room and you're the last woman any man notices.

Rose Morgan: What, what? Yes, I do have breasts. Unfortunately, they cannot, however, be the subject of your next report.

Claire: If he weren't gorgeous, rich and straight, I wouldn't even have bothered.

Henry Fine: I don't date these women for their minds. I gave her a copy of Farewell to Arms. She thought it was the latest diet book.

Gregory Larkin: The mathematical world is completely rational, uncomplicated by sex.

Rose Morgan: I look like an over-the-hill Barbie Doll.

Rose Morgan: It's not a date. We're just agreeing to eat at the same place.

Gregory Larkin: I want to be upfront. I am not interested in sex with you.

Gregory Larkin: You don't use make-up.
Rose Morgan: What's the point? It'd still be me, only in color.

Rose Morgan: Let's face it. They're not standing in line for me.

Rose Morgan: By the way, would telling you now that I want sex tonight be enough of a warning?

Gregory Larkin: I don't care if you're pretty, I love you anyway!

Rose Morgan: I just can't eat a cheesburger in the middle of the day anymore. Doesn't it make you bloated?
Doris: Bloated? No, I thought it went rather nicely with the spare ribs I had for breakfast.

Gregory Larkin: I liked the old Rose! She eats carrots now, isn't that tragic?

Hannah Morgan: Why are you going to all of this trouble unless there's something special about this one?
Rose Morgan: Mother, would you stop calling him "this one," it sounds like you're picking out a lobster!

Rose Morgan: Why don't you get the coffee?
Hannah Morgan: I've buried a husband, I've raised two daughters. I've made my coffee.

Claire: Your hair looks good, the curls work. Why don't you get a perm?
Rose Morgan: I tried that once, I looked like Shirley Temple on crack.

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