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Mystery Men

Mystery Men

Blue Raja: May the forks be with us.

The Shoveler: We've got a blind date with Destiny -- and it looks like she's ordered the lobster.

Mr. Furious: I don't need a compass to know which way the wind shines!

The Sphinx: We are number one! All others are number two, or lower.

Blue Raja: I'm a superhero, Mother. An effete British superhero.

Monica: I don't find you threatening.
Mr. Furious: Well, you're... kind.
Monica: At all.

The Shoveler: We're not your classic heros. We're the other guys.

Shoveler: God's given me a gift. I shovel well. I shove very well.

The Bowler: [To her father's skull, after avenging his death] OK, now I'm going back to graduate school. That was the agreement.

Mr. Furious: Right now I'm kinda like a powder keg.

Mr. Furious: After all, I am a ticking time bomb of fury.

The Sphinx: To learn my teachings, I must first teach you how to learn.

The Sphinx: You must lash out with every limb, like the octopus who plays the drums.

The Sphinx: He who questions training only trains himself at asking questions.

The Sphinx: You must be like wolf pack, not six-pack.

The Shoveler: We fight crime. Call it what you will.

[Invisible Boy becomes visible in front of everyone and he's naked]
The Bowler: Maybe you should put some shorts on or something, if you wanna keep fighting evil today.

Mr. Furious: Don't mess with the volcano my man, 'cause I will go Pompeii on your... butt.

Mr. Furious: You must've torn out the "Q" section in my dictionary, because I don't know the meaning of the word "quit"!

The Sphinx: When you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you can head off your foes with a balanced attack.

Vic Weems: I'm a publicist, not a magician.

The Bowler: There's another chicken. Crazy chicken world.

The Sphinx: When you care what is outside, what is inside cares for you.

[Commenting On The Disco Boy's arsenal]
Mr. Furious: What? Guns? That's your power, you shoot guns?
Blue Raja: There's no theme at all here.
Mr. Furious: Weak.
Blue Raja: At best.
[They high-five each other]
Mr. Furious: See, you've got a chain, I would at least make it a gold chain.
[A Disco Boy wields a pipe]
The Shoveler: And who are you, the Disco Plumber?

[The Heroes Talk about Hero Recruits]
Blue Raja: Well, there's The Sphinx.
Mr. Furious: Who?
Blue Raja: The Sphinx.
The Shoveler: Yeah, I've heard of this guy. He's a big crime-fighter down east.
Mr. Furious: What's his power?
Blue Raja: Well, he's terribly mysterious.
Mr. Furious: That's his power, he's mysterious?
Blue Raja: He's TERRIBLY mysterious, actually.
The Shoveler: Yeah, plus he can cut guns in half with his mind.

[The Spleen is shot in the rear]
The Spleen: I CAN'T FEEL MY ASS! I CAN'T FEEL MY ASS!
Invisible Boy: Doe's your power still work?
The Spleen: Uh-oh, weapons check. Pull my fingers.
[Invisible Boy pulls. Spleen lets loose a wind of gas, wiping out an entire gang.]
The Spleen: It'll do.

Mr. Furious: Rage... taking over...
Casanova Frankenstein: Yes, yes, we've heard that before.
Mr. Furious: No. Rage... REALLY taking over...

Capt. Amazing: Oh I knew that... and I knew you'd know I'd know you knew.

The Blue Raja: Am I to understand that you have inserted your father's skull in that ball for bowling?
The Bowler: No, the guy at the pro shop did it.

The Shoveler: We struck down evil with the mighty sword of teamwork and the hammer of not bickering.

Mr. Furious: What kinda crazy man blows up a crazy house?

Roy's Boss: When are you going to tear down that jeep out there?
Mr. Furious: Now we went throught this yesterday. That "jeep" is actually an armored car of some kind. It was made to withstand bombs, I can't just rip it apart with a crowbar.

Mr. Furious: I'm a Pantera's box you do not wanna open!
Casanova Frankenstein: It is "Pandora."
Mr. Furious: Please don't correct me, it sickens me.

The Spleen: Hiya fellas. Word on the street is you're lookin' for superheroes.

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