Miss Congeniality

Miss Congeniality

Victor Melling: (about Gracie) This woman has no talent! I was not told I'd have to provide a talent.
Gracie Hart: It's ok, I have a talent. It's sometihng I learned in high school.
VIctor Melling: You are not having sex on that stage!

Gracie Hart: F.B.I. You might want to stay out of this.

Gracie Hart: You think I'm gorgeous... you want to kiss me... you want to date me.

[To models refusing pizza and beer.]
Gracie Hart: It's lite beer, and she's gonna throw it up anyway.

Stan Fields: Miss Rhode Island, please describe your idea of a perfect date.
Cheryl "Rhode Island": Well, my idea of a perfect date would be April 23rd. Because it's not too warm or too cold, and all you need is a light jacket.

Gracie Hart: I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night, I'm starved, AND I'm armed! Don't MESS with me!

Gracie Hart: Donut Nazi.

Gracie Hart: I would so like to hurt you right now.
Victor Melling: As long as you smile.

Victor Melling: What, no armored car?
Gracie Hart: It's in my other dress.

Kathy Morningside: Of couse he had a gun. This is Texas! Everybody has a gun. My florist has a gun!

Victor Melling: Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown.

Eric Matthews: Is this you not arguing? 'Cause you suck at it.

Victor Melling: The last time I saw a walk like that was in "Jurassic Park."

Kathy Morningside: I would much rather cancel the show than have my girls blown up.
Stan Fields: Especially without their knowledge.

Stan Fields: And we'll be right back with our five final lesbians -- contestants!

[After McDonald sees himself in a bikini on the computer.]
Eric Matthews: We were just looking for someone to go undercover at the Miss United States Pageant, sir.
McDonald: And I'm the best we got. That doesn't inspire much confidence.

Eric Matthews: Don't look at me like I betrayed you.
Gracie Hart: No, betrayal implies an action, you just stood there!

Gracie Hart: Gracie Lou Freebush?!
Eric Matthews: I thought you'd like that.
Gracie Hart: Yeah, well. My IQ just dropped ten points.

Eric Matthews: Operation "Thong" has commenced.
Gracie Hart: Why don't you stun-gun yourself?
Eric Matthews: I knew she'd like that one.

Victor Melling: Why is New Jersey called "The Garden State"?
Gracie Hart: Because "Oil and Petrochemical Refinery State" wouldn't fit on a license plate?

Gracie Hart: You think I'm gorgeous... You want to kiss me... You want to hug me... You want to love me... You want to smooch me... You want to hug me.

Stan: What is the one most important thing our society needs?
Gracie Hart: That would be... harsher punishment for parole violaters, Stan. [Crowd is silent.] And world peace!
[Crowd cheers ecstatically.]
Stan: Isn't she lovely! Thank you, Gracie Lou.
Gracie Hart: And thank YOU, Stan.
[Gracie walks offstage.]
Victor Melling: That was wonderful, are you drunk?
Gracie Hart: I'm glad you enjoyed it. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go unscrew my smile!

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