Fight Club

Narrator: This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time.

Marla : "I haven't been fucked like that since gradeschool."

Tyler Durden: How much can you know about yourself if you've

[after vigorous sex with Tyler Durden]
Marla Singer: I haven't been fucked like that since grade school!

Narrator: I am Jack's smirking revenge.

Tyler Durden: Our generation has had no Great Depression, no Great War. Our war is a spiritual war. Our depression is our lives.

Tyler Durden: We are a generation of men raised by women. I'm beginning to wonder if another woman is what we really need.

Narrator: First one through this door gets a, gets a LEAD SALAD!

Narrator: Marla was like that cut on the roof of your mouth that would go away if you'd stop tonguing it, but you can't.

Tyler Durden: I look the way you want to look, I fuck the way you want to fuck.

Boss: Is that your blood?
Narrator: Some of it, yeah.

Narrator: I wanted to destroy something beautiful.

Tyler Durden: You are not your job. You are not the money in your bank account. You are not the car you drive. You are not how much money is in your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis. You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

Narrator: With insomnia, you're never really asleep; you're never really awake.

Tyler Durden: We were raised on television to believe that we'd all be millionares, movie gods, rock stars, but we won't. And we're starting to figure that out.

Tyler Durden: You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else.

Narrator: With a gun barrel between your teeth, you speak only in vowels.

Narrator: On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

Tyler Durden: First rule of Fight Club, you do not talk about Fight Club. Second rule of Fight Club, you DO NOT talk about Fight Club. Third rule of Fight Club, when someone say "stop" or goes limp, the fight is over. Fourth rule of Fight Club, only two guys to a fight. Fifth rule of Fight Club, one fight at a time. Sixth rule of Fight Club, no shirt, no shoes. Seventh rule of Fight Club, fights go on as long as they have to. Eighth and final rule of Fight Club, if this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight.

Narrator: We were selling rich women their own fat asses back to them.

Narrator: When people think you're dying, they listen--
Marla Singer: --instead of waiting for their turn to speak.

Tyler Durden: It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything.

[After meeting and having sex with Marla]
Tyler Durden: Man, you've got some weird fucking friends. Limber, though...

Tyler Durden: The things you own end up owning you.

Narrator: Well, what do you want me to do? You just want me to hit you?
Tyler Durden: C'mon, do me this one favor.
Narrator: Why?
Tyler Durden: Why? I don't know why; I don't know. Never been in a fight. You?
Narrator: No, but that's a good thing.
Tyler Durden: No, it is not. How much can you know about yourself, you've never been in a fight? I don't wanna die without any scars. So come on; hit me before I lose my nerve.
Narrator: This is crazy.
Tyler Durden: So go crazy. Let 'er rip.
Narrator: I don't know about this.
Tyler Durden: I don't either. Who gives a shit? No one's watching. What do you care?
Narrator: Whoa, wait, this is crazy. You want me to hit you?
Tyler Durden: That's right.
Narrator: What, like in the face?
Tyler Durden: Surprise me.
Narrator: This is so fucking stupid...
[Narrator swings, connects against Tyler's head]
Tyler Durden: Motherfucker! You hit me in the ear!
Narrator: Well, Jesus, I'm sorry.
Tyler Durden: Ow, Christ... why the ear, man?
Narrator: Guess I fucked it up...
Tyler Durden: No, that was perfect!

[Tyler and Narrator are discussing ideal opponents.]
Tyler Durden: OK: any historic figure.
Narrator: I'd fight Gandhi.
Tyler Durden: Good answer.
Narrator: How about you?
Tyler Durden: Lincoln.
Narrator: Lincoln?
Tyler Durden: Big guy, big reach. Skinny guys fight 'til they're burger.

Narrator: A new car built by my company leaves somewhere traveling at 60 mph. The rear differential locks up. The car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now: should we initiate a recall? Take the number of vehicles in the field, A, multiply by the probable rate of failure, B, multiply by the average out-of-court settlement, C. A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one.
Business woman on plane: Are there a lot of these kinds of accidents?
Narrator: You wouldn't believe.
Business woman on plane: Which car company do you work for?
Narrator: A major one.

Tyler Durden: How's that working out for you?
Narrator: What?
Tyler Durden: Being clever.
Narrator: Great.
Tyler Durden: Keep it up, then.

Tyler Durden: You have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh.

Tyler Durden: Our fathers were our models for God. If they bailed, what does that tell you about God? You have to be prepared for the possibility that God does not like you.

Tyler Durden: Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.

Narrator: I am Jack's cold sweat.

[Holding up a wad of cash]
Marla Singer: You're not getting this back. I consider it asshole tax.

Narrator: If I had a tumor, I'd name it Marla.

Tyler Durden: We're designed to be hunters and we're in a society of shopping. There's nothing to kill anymore, there's nothing to fight, nothing to overcome, nothing to explore. In that social emasculation this everyman is created.

[meeting aboard an airliner]
Narrator: What do you do for a living?
Tyler Durden: Why? So you can pretend like you're interested?

[squeezing out of an airliner seat]
Tyler Durden: Now, a question of etiquette: as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch?

Narrator: He was the guerilla terrorist for the food service industry. Apart from seasoning the lobster bisque, he farted on the meringue, sneezed on braised endive, and as for the cream of mushroom soup, well...
Tyler Durden: Tell 'em.
Narrator: get the idea.

Narrator: I am Jack's raging bile duct.

[at a cancer support meeting]
Narrator: Oh yeah, Chloe... Chloe looked how Meryl Streep's skeleton would look if you made it smile and walk around the party being extra nice to everyone.
Chloe: Well, I'm still here. But I don't know for how long. That's as much certainty as anyone can give me... I have some good news: I no longer have any fear of death. [audience claps] But I am in a pretty lonely place. No one will have sex with me. I'm so close to the end and all I want is to get laid for the last time... I have pornographic movies in my apartment, lubricants, and amyl nitrate... [the group leader takes the mic]
Group Leader: Everyone, let's thank Chloe.

Narrator: A guy started at Fight Club, his ass was a wad of cookie dough. After a few weeks, he was carved out of wood.

Narrator: I ran. I ran until my muscles burned and my veins pumped battery acid. And then I ran some more.

Tyler Durden: Did you know that by mixing equal parts of gasoline and frozen orange juice concentrate you can make napalm?
Narrator: Really?
Tyler Durden: One could make all sorts of explosives using common household items...
Narrator: Uh-huh...
Tyler Durden: ...if one were so inclined.

Narrator: After fighting, everything else in your life has got the volume turned down.

Narrator: If you wake up at a different time in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?

Tyler Durden: Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing.

Tyler Durden: Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate, so we can buy shit we don't need.

Narrator: Losing all hope is freedom.

Tyler Durden: Do you know what a "duvet" is?
Narrator: It's a comforter...
Tyler Durden: It's a blanket. Just a blanket.

Narrator: [While brutally beating Angel Face] I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all the French beaches I'd never see. I wanted to breathe smoke.

Narrator: [reading] "I am Jack's colon."
Tyler Durden: I get cancer, I kill Jack.

Tyler Durden: You just had a near-life experience.

Narrator: Everywhere I travel, tiny life. Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter. The microwave Cordon bleu hobby-kit. Shampoo-conditioner combos. Sample-packaged mouthwash. The people I meet on flights? They're single-serving friends.

Narrator: We'll split up the week. You can have lymphoma, tuberculosis and --
Marla Singer: You take tuberculosis. My smoking doesn't go over at all.
Narrator: I think testicular cancer should be no contest.
Marla Singer: Well, technically, I have more of a right to be there than you. You still have your balls.
Narrator: You're kidding.
Marla Singer: I don't know -- am I? ...I'll take the parasites.
Narrator: You can't have both parasites. You can take blood parasites --
Marla Singer: I want brain parasites.
Narrator: Okay. I'll take blood parasites and organic brain dementia --
Marla Singer: I want that.
Narrator: You can't have the whole brain!
Marla Singer: So far, you have four and I only have two!
Narrator: Then take blood parasites. It's yours. Now we each have three.

Marla Singer: You know, I bought this dress at a thrift shop for a dollar.
Narrator: Worth every penny.

Narrator: I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.

Tyler Durden: It could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you're sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car.
Narrator: There's always that.

["Jack" pulls a loose tooth out of his mouth.]
Tyler Durden: Hey, even the Mona Lisa's falling apart.

[about attending support groups for diseases she doesn't have]
Marla Singer: It's cheaper than a movie, and there's free coffee.

Narrator: Look, no one takes this more seriously than me! That condo was my life, okay? I loved every stick of furniture in that place. That was not just a bunch of stuff that got destroyed, that was ME! [voice-over] I'd like to thank the Academy...

Narrator: I am Jack's wasted life.

Narrator: I am Jack's inflamed sense of rejection.

Tyler Durden: Forget about what you think you know about life.

Narrator: I am Jack's broken heart.

Narrator: Is Tyler my bad dream? Or am I Tyler's?

Narrator: You met me at a very strange time in my life.

Narrator: Life insurance pays off triple if you die on a business flight.

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