Conspiracy Theory

Alice Sutton: He said a dog bit his nose.
Jerry Fletcher: Arf.

Jerry: I resolve to call her up a thousand times a day, and ask her if she'll marry me in some old-fashioned way. Every little thing she does is magic.
Alice: Jerry, those are song lyrics!

[Walking through a metal detector.]
Jerry Fletcher: Why is this thing safe for me and not for my keys?

Jerry Fletcher: A good conspiracy is unprovable. I mean, if you can prove it, it means they screwed up somewhere along the line.

Jerry Fletcher: Love gives you wings. It makes you fly. I don't even call it love. I call it Geronimo. When you're in love, you'll jump right from the top of the Empire State and you won't care, screaming "Geronimo" the whole way down. I love her so bad, I just... whoa, she wrecks me. I'd die for her.

Jerry Fletcher: I am an American citizen, and I demand to see Alice Sutton.

Dr. Jonas: In one hour, I want to know where she eats, where she sleeps, the name of her kindergarten teacher, everything.

Dr. Jonas: Have you ever been a place where hope was gone? Where all that's left is patience?

Jerry: David Berkowitz, Ted Bundy, Richard Speck...
Alice: What about them?
Jerry: Serial killers. Serial killers only have two names. You ever notice that? But lone gunmen assassins, they always have three names. John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, Mark David Chapman...
Alice: John Hinckley. He shot Reagan. He only has two names.
Jerry: Yeah, but he only just shot Reagan. Reagan didn't die. If Reagan had died, I'm pretty sure we probably would all know what John Hinckley's middle name was.

[About lone gunmen having three names each.]
Jerry: I just thought of another one: James Earl Ray, the guy who got Luther King. Then of course, there's Sirhan Sirhan. I still haven't figured that one out. Maybe it's Sirhan Sirhan Sirhan, I don't know.

Jerry: It's on the tip of my brain.

Jerry: I'm only paranoid because they want me dead.

Jerry: I love you.
Alice: Jerry, no, no, you don't love me.
Jerry: Sure I do.
Alice: No, no.
Jerry: I don't?

Jerry: You can't hurt me any more.
Dr. Jonas: I'll be the judge of that.

Jerry Fletcher: To be normal, to drink Coca-Cola and eat Kentucky Fried Chicken is to be in a conspiracy against yourself.

Alice Sutton: I love you.
Jerry Fletcher: Now you tell me.

Agent Lowry: If the intelligence community is a family, think of us as the uncle no one talks about.

Alice Sutton: This guy's a restraining order waiting to happen.

Jerry Fletcher: The Vietnam War was fought over a bet that Howard Hughes lost to Aristotle Onassis.

Alice Sutton: Where are you, Jerry?
Jerry Fletcher: I'm here.
Alice Sutton: Where's here, Jerry?
Jerry: I'm on the floor, under a waffle. I can see the smokestacks
Alice: Jerry, I'm coming to get you
Jerry: You're going to fit through there?

Jerry: "All the fathers of Nobel prize winners were rounded up by United National Military and actually forced at gunpoint to give semen samples in little plastic jars which are now stored below Rockefeller Center underneath the ice skating rink. You don't want to be there for the thaw. I mean it's disgusting."

Jerry: "You know what they put in the water don't you? Fluoride. Yeah, flouride under the pretext that it strengthens your teeth. That's ridiculous. You know what this stuff does to you? It actually weakens your will. Takes away the capacity for free and creative thought, it makes you a slave to the state."

Jerry: "You ever wonder about all these militia groups? Survivalist type groups? They say they're defending the country from the UN troops. These guys are yelling so loud, my theory is, and this is a conspiracy pal, that they ARE the UN troops and that they're in place, the infra structure is pretty complete, when the time comes they'll just take over and we'll all be killed."

"Ever see those advertisements like, Got Milk? Hey open up, open it up, I mean that's kind of like saying smoke cigarettes, or drive cars; I mean it's really, this guy looks at me and says "you think we're living in a free country? You think this is a Democracy? Of course it's not. Web sites, newsletters, self published manifests, they think we're kooks. I mean George Bush knew what he was saying when he said "New World Order." Remember those three little words? New World Order. Well, he was a 33rd degree mason, and listen, ex-director of the CIA. ......... spinning, spinning their wheels, hey, I'm sure your hearts in the right place. The chip for identification so they can track down an animal anywhere he's at. You'll insert in under the dog's skin and that's kinda like an identification thing. I mean, it's only a small logical step till they start putting in us, and then before we know it they'll probably come with a ......."

Jerry: "Hey, is that one of those new hundreds? You know when they changed the picture of Ben Franklin? Yeah, he looks like the love child of Fred Mertz and Rosie O'Donnell. Yeah, that's it, get rid of it as soon a you can lady, hold it up to the light, see the metal strip in it? That's a tracking device. Gotta be more of those, get rid of it, they know where..."

Jerry: "Three and a half years and the space shuttle up in orbit for every single one of them (earthquakes). Don't you think that's a little bit strange?
Alice: Testing some secret seismic weapon?
Jerry: We're talking weapon of the future.
Alice: Okay, I still don't see what this has to do with the President.
Jerry: The President's in Europe at the moment and uh, the , in Turkey, right along this fault line and the thing of it is the space shuttle went yesterday.
Alice: Motive?
Jerry: Motive? How about $50,000,000. How's that for a motive? The President's cutting funding of NASA, the milk cow of the Aerospace Industry and that's a lot of milk.
Alice: So you're telling me that NASA's going to kill the president of the United States with an earthquake."

Jerry: You know why the Grateful Dead are always on tour? Because they're all British intelligence agents. They're all spies. Jerry Garcia himself has a double 00 rating, just like James Bond.
Alice: Jerry Garcia is dead.
Jerry: That's what they want you to think."

Alice: Space Shuttle Seismic secrets? The Oliver Stone-George Bush connection? Oliver Stone?
Jerry: Oh yeah, he's they're spokesman. Yeah, you think if anyone had the information he's got and had a national podium to shout it from, you think they'd actually let him do it? No, it's quite clear that he's the disinformation for him. The fact that he's still alive says it all. He should be dead but he's not.
Alice: Can you prove any of this?
Jerry: No, absolutely not. A good conspiracy is an unproveable one. "

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