Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

Austin - "Oh, there you are."
Stranger - "Do I know you?"
Austin - "No, but you're there!"

[Noticing Dr. Evil's spaceship on radar]
Radar Operator: Colonel, you better have a look at this radar.
Colonel: What is it, son?
Radar Operator: I don't know, sir, but it looks like a giant--
Jet Pilot: Dick! Dick, take a look out of starboard.
Co-Pilot: Oh my God, it looks like a huge--
Bird-Watching Woman: Pecker!
Bird-Watching Man: [raising binoculars] Where?
Bird-Watching Woman: Over there. What sort of bird is that? Oh goodness, it's not a bird, it's--
Army Sergeant: Privates! We have reports of an Unidentified Flying Object. It has a long, smooth shaft, complete with--
Baseball Umpire: Two balls! [looking up from game] What is that? It looks just like an enormous--
Colonel: Johnson!
Radar Operator: Yes, sir?
Colonel: Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this.

Scott: If you've got a time machine, why don't you just go back and kill Austin Powers when he's sitting on the crapper or something?
Dr. Evil: No, no, no.

Austin: Let's hop on the good foot and do the bad thing!

Austin: So, Basil, if I travel back to 1969 and I was frozen in 1967, I could go look at my frozen self. But, if I'm still frozen in 1967, how could I have been unthawed in the 90's and traveled back to the Sixties? [goes cross-eyed] Oh, no, I've gone cross-eyed.
Basil: I suggest you don't worry about those things and just enjoy yourself. [to camera] And, you too.

Dr. Evil: As you know, every diabolical scheme I've hatched has been thwarted by Austin Powers. And why is that, ladies and gentlemen?
Scott: Because you never kill him when you get the chance, and you're a dope?

Dr. Evil: The moon unit will be divided into two divisions: Moon Unit Alpha and Moon Unit Zappa.

Austin: How could you sleep with Fat Bastard?
Felicity: I was just doing my duty, Austin. I had to.
Austin: No, I mean, literally, HOW could you sleep with him? He's so fat! The mechanics of it is just mind-boggling!

Dr. Evil: You're not quite evil enough. You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil, just one calorie, not evil enough.

Austin Powers: [About her skintight clothes.] How do you get into those pants?
Felicity Shagwell: Well you can start by buying me a drink.

[Driving on a supposedly English road, clearly *not* filmed on location.]
Austin Powers: You know what's remarkable? That England looks in no way like Southern California.

Austin: I put the "grrrr" in swinger baby, yeah!

Felicity Shagwell: Felicity Shagwell. Shagwell by name, shag-very-well by reputation.

Dr. Evil: As the French say, that certain "I don't know what."

Ivana: Do you know how we keep warm in Russia?
Austin: I can guess, baby.
Ivana: We play chess.
Austin: I guessed wrong.

Ivana: When did you get "The Clapper"?
Austin: November, 1964, Dutch East Indies, shore leave.

Felicity: Move over, Rover. This chick is taking over.

Number Two: Dr. Evil, wouldn't it be easier to use your knowledge of the future to play the stock market? We could literally make trillions!
Dr. Evil: Why make trillions when we could make... billions?

President: C'mon, let me nuke that bastard.
Commander Gilmour: You want to blow up the moon?
President: Would you really miss it that much?

Fat Bastard: I eat because I'm unhappy, I'm unhappy because I eat.

Woman: Oh my god, look at that! It looks just like my husband's--
Carnival Worker: ONE-EYED MONSTER! Come see the One-eyed Monster!
One Eyed Monster: Oh my god, it's a giant--
Chinese Teacher: Wang! pay attention!
Wang: Sorry, sir I was distracted by that giant flying--
Fan: Woody! Woody Harrelson! Could I have your autograph?

Dr. Evil: [deep voice] Austin, I'm your father
Austin: Really?
Dr. Evil: No, I can't back that up.

Dr. Evil: Mini-me, you complete me.

Dr. Evil: I turned the moon into something I like to call a "Death Star."

Fat Bastard: I've got more chins than a Chinese phonebook.

Dr. Evil: Talk to the hand, 'cause the face don't wanna hear it anymore.
The President: What hand?
Dr. Evil: You aren't all that and a bag of potato chips.
The President: What are you talking about?
Dr. Evil: Don't go there, girlfriend.
The President: Whose girlfriend?
Dr. Evil: Don't mess with me. I'm one crazy mo fo. I once popped a cop cause he wasn't giving my props in Oak town. I've heard that somewhere.

fat bastard: first things firts. wheres your craper. i got a shit on deck that could choke a donkey.

fat bastard: he looks like a baby. i'm gonna eat you. get in my belly. i'm higher in the food chain. i've got corn in my crap bigger then you.

austin powers: you are one sweet too many babbies.

dr.evil: ahhh you shoot me you a-hole.

[massaging Felicity]
Austin Powers: How does that feel, baby?
Felicity Shagwell: Mmm, lower.
Austin Powers: [deep voice] How does that feel, baby?

Austin Danger Powers, Dr. Evil, Fat Bastard: Baby, the other-other white meat. Baby: it's what's for dinner.

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