Dr. Buddy Rydell: Temper's the one thing you can't get rid of, by losing it.
Dr. Buddy Rydell: In Europe, it's not considered unusual for three or four men to share a bed.
Dave Buznik: That's why I'm proud to be an American...
Linda: How 'bout a kiss?
Dr. Buddy Rydell: I'd love a kiss.
Dave Buznik: I think she talkin' to me. And, uh, I think I can handle it.
Dr. Buddy Rydell: [throws a plate of eggs across the room] I SAID OVEREASY!...Now why did I do that?
Dave Buznik: Because I refused to spoon with you last night?
Nate: Ohh, the anger sharks are swimming in my head!
Dr. Buddy Rydell: Sarcasm is anger's ugly cousin.
Dave Buznik: I feel pretty, oh so pretty.
Rudy Giuliani: You can do it!
[fleeing the monastery]
Dr. Buddy Rydell: You kicked some serious monk-ass there, baby!
Lou: I told you not to go there! I told you not to go there!
Lou: Eskimos seem nice.
Dave Buznik: I'm not a homophobe, I'm a pulling-out-my-penis-in-front-of-you-ophobe.
Dr. Buddy Rydell: Can you please give me your name Mr. Head, and please don't tell me it's Dick!
Dr. Buddy Rydell: She said she was going out with a friend named Andrea.
Dave Buznik: She doesn't have a friend named Andrea. Did she say Andrew?
Dr. Buddy Rydell: Oh, ah, yes Andrew...the testicle with legs.
Chuck: Here's my phone number.
[Dave reads it]
Dave Buznik: "I'm going to kill you bitch"??
Chuck: Oh sorry. That's a letter I'm writing to Geraldo Rivera.
Dave Buznik: Hi, I'm glad I'm not the only one in anger management.
Bobby Knight: What? I don't need anger management! I thought this was sexaholics anonymous!
Dave Buznik: Uh, I think that's down the hall.
Bobby Knight: Oh SCREW THIS!
[throws his book across the room and stomps off]
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