In days of old,
when knights were bold,
and toilets weren't invented,
We left our loads
beside the roads,
and people where contented.
I jumped off a tall cliff,
Plummetted,
Hoping to grow wings before impact
But instead the wind pulled my armpit flesh back to my toes like a squirrel.
Farts are fun there is no doubt
you raise yer leg and slip one out
as others gasp in the stinking fog
you just shrug and blame the dog.
Curious willy
Willy with a thirst for gore,
Nailed his sister to the door.
Mother said with humor quaint,
"Now willy dear, don't scratch the paint!"
Sister Nell
In the family drinking well,
Willy pushed his sister Nell.
She is there yet, because it kilt her.
Now we have to buy a filter.
Little Willy
Willy saw some dynamite,
Couldn't understand it quite.
cuiosity seldom pays,
It rained Willy for 7 days.
Molly McBride was a barmaid,
And the fairest lass in all the land.
Until one day,
in the kitchen,
she slipped on a turnip,
and fell face first right into a burning flaming can o' lard.
and she was horribly blinded,
and perminently disfigured,
and she had to live under the porch 'cuz she scared away tourists.
And she made the dogs vomit,
and the goats gave sour milk, and all the nuns drank it and DIED!
that's it.
And Reese, he was off on a journey of peace
And the day he returned,
She met him at dawn.
She ran to his arms,
but his arms were gone!
The IRA had put a pipe bomb in his bed,
blew off everything but his friggin' head
now he's missing a leg,
and he's got half a face,
and his parts are all scattered all over the place!
So she's out looking for
that's it.
Roses are red Violets are blue
sometimes i drink from the toilet.
the
"Wings"
Willy poems
Molly McBride
a love poem
Fiona loved a man named ReeseREESES PIECES
"untitled"
that's