Triple H as "The Crock"
Roaddogg Jesse James as Vince McMahon
Chyna as the Big Bossman
Jason Sensation as "HBGay"
Badd Ass Billy Gunn as Shane McMahon
X-pac as Ken Shamrock
with supporting cast Gerald Brisco and Pat Patterson played by two midgets.
History: In the last couple months of 1998, Vince McMahon put together his own group that he called the Corporation, consisting of the Rock, the Big Bossman, Ken Shamrock, Commissioner Shawn Michaels, and Shane McMahon. One of the first things they did was try and court the New Age Outlaws, who were a part of DX at that time. They were not successful, as the Outlaws teased joining but then betrayed the Corporation to continue their involvement in DX. The next week on Raw, they came out to the ring in spectacular fashion. The announcers were Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler.
(The D-generation X theme plays and they come out dressed like the Corporation, to a huge pop.)
Michael Cole: What?
Jerry Lawler: Can you believe this, Michael Cole!?
(Michael Cole laughs.)
Lawler: I saw DX earlier in the locker room. I didn't think they'd have the guts to actually DO this!
Cole: D-generation X is the Corporation! DX is Team Corporate! This his hilarious!
Lawler: No, this is not... oh, this is not funny! This is not good.
Cole: Nearly twenty thousand people on their feet holding their sides in laughter at the Tacoma Dome! D-generation X... is masquerading as the Coporate Team!
Lawler: Look at Triple H! Is he supposed to be the Rock?
(They eventually make it to the ring, and the Roaddogg grabs the mic. The Pat and Gerald midgets' mouths are attached to his rear end.)
Cole: Look at these two. King... look at the two behind Mr. McMahon.
Lawler: What are they doing? They're attached to the rear end.
Cole: There it is. Can you believe this? That must be the associates!
(Michael Cole laughs.)
Lawler: That's not Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco, is it!?
Cole: This is Brisco Bros. Body Shop! Oh my!
Lawler: They're gonna be punished for this, I assure you.
(Cole continues to laugh as Road Dogg tells the crew to cut the music.)
Road Dogg Jesse James: First of all, ladies and gentlemen, let me make one thing perfectly clear, mind you: I am not an asshole!
Road Dogg: Ha, ha, ha.... very good. Shane... do you got poopies in your diaper?
Lawler: Is that supposed to be Shane!?
Badd Ass Billy Gunn: (speaking in a high pitched baby voice) Nope. No doo doo's.
Roaddogg: You see, as the chairperson and owner of the World Wrestling Federation, I am both a scholar and a gentleman. I take great offense when you people call me a sphincter. Or a starfish. Because you see, I am nothing less than a scholar, ha, ha, ha, and a gentleman.
Cole: Look King, Shane has a silver spoon! Look at this.
Billy: You tell'em Pops. You tell'em. You're not a sphincter, Pops.
Road Dogg: Mr. Brisco, does my ass taste good?
Midget: Yes it does, Mr. MacMahon.
Cole: Oh no. Oh, man. Oh no! This is not a good way to get on the good side of the Corporate Team.
Billy: You're not a sphincter, Pops. You're a scholar and a gentleman, Pops. This... this is a sphincter! (He pulls his pants down and moons the crowd)
(Cole and Lawler laugh.)
Lawler: Aah! What!?
Road Dogg: Very good, son. That is a sphincter!
Triple H: Shaaaane, pull up your paaaants, because The Crock doesn't wanna smell what you're cookin'!
Lawler: The Crock?
Cole: Look at the eyebrow. Look at Shane.
X-pac: Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh! All this talk about sphincters is puttin' me in the zone! It's five knuckle shuffle time!
Lawler: I can't believe the nerve of these idiots!
Cole: Look at the Bossman! (laughs)
(Chyna steps into the center of the ring and twirls the nightstick a few times, throws it up into the air color guard style, and doesn't bother to catch it.)
Lawler: Well I guarantee you the Big Bossman doesn't think this is one bit funny!
Triple H: Hold on, hold on... If you're gonna talk about sphincters, there is only one man, and The Crock means only one man, who is the biggest sphincter in the World Wrestling Federation, and there is only one man who can take his own Corporate Head and stick it up his own Corporate Ass.
Cole: who is he talking about? This is great, King.
Triple H: And when The Crock is not takin' his own Corporate Heeeeeaaaad, and stickin' it up his own Coorrrrporate Aaaaasssss...
Lawler: That's enough of this.
Triple H: ...he's got his own two Corporate Lips buried right down deep inside Mr. McMahon's sphincter!
Lawler: I'll tell you one thing, the Corporaton's gonna come out here, the REAL Corporation! They've got to!
(Jason Sensation comes out of the dressing room dressed as Shawn Michaels, in a cowboy hat and holding a basketball.)
Jason Sensation: Now hold on a minute here!
Cole: Is that Shawn!? It's the Hearbreak Kid, the Commissioner!
Lawler: He ain't gonna like this...
Jason: As the Commissioner of the World Wrestling Federation, I'm ordering D-generation X to clean up their act. (he drops the basketball.)
Triple H: Hold on, HBK, hold on you've dropped the ball again.
Lawler: (to Cole) Better quit your snickering.
Jason: Now, you can't say sphincter on Monday Night Raw and get away with it.
Cole: Close your eyes. It sounds like him.
Jason: And if you wanna know who the real ass kisser is in the WWF, it's me, HBGay!
Jason: And if you wanna know why The Heartbreak Kid doesn't lay down for anybody? Cause he's always bendin' over! (He bends over, drops the basketball again and chase it down the ramp.)
Lawler: These guys are going way too far!
Cole: Oh my.
Triple H: Uh Shawn, you've uh, dropped the ball again. (HBGay joins the rest in the ring.)
Lawler: I'll tell you one thing, the Corporation are gonna be... well... they're gonna be hot over this!
Cole: I agree with you there, I don't think they'll be too pleased. I hope they have a sense of humor.
Jason: And if anybody knows about kissing sphincters, it's me, the ICON, the main event, the SHOWSTOPPA!
Cole: Oh, man. Look at the Corporate Team huddling in the middle of the ring.
X-pac: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh! I said, all this talk about sphincters is puttin' me in the zone! It's five knuckle shuffle time! (He goes after HBGay, who begs off in the corner)
Triple H: The Crock thinks maybe Kenny should switch to decaf. But in other words, Corporation, if you don't get what DX is sayin', there's only one thing, and The Crock means only one thing left to say, and that is "We've got two words for ya..."
Crowd: SUCK IT!
(DX music plays, but the real Shawn, Shamrock, Bossman, and Rock come out of the dressing room.)
Cole: Well, these nearly twenty thousand fans in Tacoma like what the Crock is cooking. D-generation X... uh oh...
Shawn Michaels: Cut MY music! D-generation X, doing yet another skit, another parody. This time of the Corporation. Gosh golly gee, how original. DX, you and your parodies are like a worn out rendition of your favorite song. But to show you that the Commissioner and the Corporation also have a sense of humor, New Age Outlaws, I'm going to award you a rematch for the World Wrestling Federation Tag Team Titles against the Big Bossman and Ken Shamrock. And dare I say, right here tonight, when it happens, it will be the Corporation who has the last laugh.
The Rock: I'll tell you what, Triple H... you wanna come out here, and try to imitate the Great One... well the Rock says this: The Rock hopes you're not too busy tonight, because the Rock plans on whippin' your monkey ass all over Tacoma!
Shawn: Wait a minute, Rock, wait a minute. Now, he's only used to hanging out with main eventers. He's never been in a main event, so obviously, since he's mid card for life, this will be a non title match, correct?
Rock: You think that jabbronie down there deserves a shot at the big shot gold!?
Shawn: He only hangs out with World Champions. He's never been one.
Triple H: Rock, let me remind you of one thing, because I know you don't wanna lay that gold on the line, because I may have been gone for a couple of months, but let me refresh your memory, when I was here, I was the guy kickin' your ass every single week on TV! And don't forget one more thing: Last time we were in the ring together, Rock, and you had gold around your waist, it was me who walked out of the ring with it. It was me who laid your monkey ass down, and it was me who was standing when it was done.
Rock: Well, don't forget that the last time you and the Rock went one on one, it was Chyna who nailed the Rock in his Corporate Jewels, giving you the Intercontinental Title! But I'll tell you what, no, no, no, no... I'll tell you what... The Rock said it before, and he'll say it again: You go one on one with The Great One, make your monkey ass famous, tonight, Tacoma, World Title Match. For now, for now Triple H, the Rock says Whatcha gonna do, when the 24.... no, wait, that's not it, that's not it. Oh, this is it, this is it. To be the man, Whoooooo! You gotta beat... no, that's not it, that's not it. Oh, this is it. Ooooohhhh yeah, dig... no, dammit, that's not it either.
Triple H: Don't worry, yours is no better!
Rock: Oh, wait, this is it, this is it: I am the best there is, the best there... no wait, that's not it either. That damn sure ain't it. This is it. The most electrifying line in Sports Entertainment, if you smell what the Rock is cookin'!