July 2002

 

[After seeing a Ravello customer climb out of a Lexus RX-300]

Annie:  Sir, you don’t have a spoiler on your Lexus?

My personal hero:  Why would anyone put a spoiler on an SUV?

 

Danny:  Let me put this in your drink.

Annie:  What is it?

Danny:  Drugs.

Annie:  So I’ll be dancing on the bar later?

Danny:  No, I don’t really want to see that.

 

Danny:  How can you eat like THAT and still have THIS body?!

 

Josh:  Ann, I like you.

Annie:  Thank you.

Josh:  I like your…shirt.  Very sexy.

Annie:  Thank you.

Josh:  I like your…

Annie: [raises eyebrow]

Josh:  …facial expressions.

 

[After I spill a glass of water on an old man]

His companion:  This is the only restaurant I know that cleans your pants while you eat!

 

The ultimate dysfunctionality in a restaurant: 

Danny doing a sexy dance/striptease with his apron while counting the checks…not realizing there was a customer still behind him.

Josh making a catchy tune out of the f-word while another customer came out of the ladies room and snuck up behind him.

Eric sleeping on the floor near the wine rack.

 

Uncle Ang:  They’re scanning my wife’s brain right now.

Dad:  Have they found anything?

Uncle Ang:  Not yet.

 

Mike:  How long have I been reading Red Dragon, a week?

Annie:  I don’t know…but you told me you were reading it the night I might you.

Mike:  Well, I had read part of it…like the cover.

 

[Driving]

Annie:  Curb.

Brian:  Don’t worry.  I know the dimensions of this car better than I know the dimensions of my own penis.

 

Brian:  I think I need to go to the dermatologist too.  I’ve got a big black spot on this shoulder, and one on this shoulder.

Annie:  That’s called hair.

 

Brian (to Annie):  You have boobs, and therefore you can hold the world in your hands.

 

Josh B:  [patting Danny’s stomach]  Is it a boy or a girl?

Danny:  Actually, it’s an elephant.

Josh:  Then I hope it has a big trunk!

 

Dad:  Your Nan was a great cook.  And remember Harold—

Annie:  Who’s Harold?

Mom:  Nan’s husband.  Actually, his name was Pat, but for some reason, we all called him Harold.

Dad:  Maybe that’s why your family’s so fucked up.

 

Frankie (frequent Ravello patron, to me):  I couldn’t help but notice how very white, white, white your legs are!

 

Danny:  How do you eat like that and still have this body?!

 

Danny:  What’re you smiling about?

Annie:  I just sold a tiramisu and a canoli to three women on a strict diet.  I am the Devil’s advocate.

 

[After Danny mixed a Manhattan and poured it into a cocktail glass]

Josh A:  Chocolate martini?

 

 

06.02   08.02

 

Home